Paging Doctor Sparkle (And Other Pony Songs)

by Super Trampoline

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spitfire, Anthology, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Drama, Moondancer, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2335

Moon Dancer has a song for Twilight. It's not a happy one.

Paging Doctor Sparkle: Moon Dancer has a song for Twilight. It's not a happy one.

Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie: An ode to Best Pony

I Still See Magic: An ode to the magic of friendship we all share

You're a Bitch: An ode to Spitfire's assholery

Tiny Prancer: An Elton John parody I'm shocked it took me this long to do.

I'll add more as I finish more.

Published 2018-05-30 02:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2021-07-21 13:53:42 UTC

Paging Doctor Sparkle

Author's Note

Twilight Sparkle may have a PhD in friendship, but she's a bad friend to Moon Dancer. In this song, Twilight hasn't bothered to hang out with Moon Dancer at all since the second party, and Moon Dancer isn't too happy about that.

FimFiction formats things a bit wonky, here's the original google doc: HERE

Paging Doctor Sparkle

Paging Doctor Sparkle

by Super Trampoline

Fm B Fm Bb Fm Db Bbm G° (Eb(7)) F

VERSE 1
Cm

There was a time and a place when
B

You and I stood face to face, friend
E Eb

Do you remember when we used to play?

Bbm

We were both shy but both brilliant
A+

Thought that our ties were resilient
Db/Ab Eb9/G

Nothing could tear us apart ‘til that day

Gb Db/F Ebm7 Gb/Db

It ain’t hard to see just what she saw in you

D A Db/Ab Gb
And I wish that I could say I was just jealous.
Bbm Ebm E B

I’d’ve understood you heading somewhere new,

(C#) D C# B F#
But you didn’t even care enough to tell us.

CHORUS
Ebm A

Do you remember me, Dr. Sparkle?
Ebm Bbm Am

Do you remember the things that you said? (Things you
Abm Ebm (/Db) Cb (/Bb)
said) Do you remember your promise to help me?

Abm (/Gb) Bbm/F /Db Eb
Or has this princess business only gone to your head?

VERSE 2
Cm

There was a place and a time when
B

You were my partner in crime, then
E Eb

Everything changed when you hurried away.

Bbm

Now that you finally slink back
A+

You have the hubris to think that
Db/Ab Eb9/G

There are some magical words you can say

Gb Db/F Ebm7 Gb/Db

It was hard for me to step out of my shell

D A Db/Ab Gb
And it took all of my nerves to throw that party
Bbm Ebm E B

Have you ever had a night of living hell?

(C#) D C# B F#
Did you think that you could make it up with sorry?

CHORUS
Ebm A

Do you remember me, Dr. Sparkle?
Ebm Bbm Am

Do you remember the things that you said? (Things you
Abm Ebm (/Db) Cb (/Bb)
said) Do you remember your promise to help me?

Abm (/Gb) Bbm/F /Db Eb
Or has this princess business only gone to your head?

Eb D G E Db Cm F

Cm Gb Cm F Cm Ab Fm D° (Bb(7)) C

Fm B Fm Bb Fm Db Bbm G° (Eb(7)) F

VERSE 3
Dm

Here is a riddle I’ve pondered:
C#

How many times have you wandered
F#. F

Over to my house since that fatefully day?

Cm

Funny, the answer’s still zero
B+

So much for friendship’s great hero
Eb/Bb F9/A

It would appear though your guilt is allayed.

Ab Eb/G Fm Ab/Eb

Guess you didn’t really care about your friend

E B Eb/Bb Ab
In the end you just pretended to feel better
Cm Fm E A G

Fool me once, well shame on you, fool me twice, I’m to blame too

D A E
It’d be nice to have a friend who follows through

G D B
It’d be nice to have a friend won’t forget her friends like you!

CHORUS
Em Bb

Do you remember me, Dr. Sparkle?
Em Bm Bbm

Do you remember the things that you said? (Things you
Am Em (/D) C (/B)
said) Do you remember your promise to help me?

Am (no chords)
Or has this princess business only gone to your head?

I Still See Magic

Author's Note

FimFiction's formatting is wonky, so here's it on Google Doc: Link HERE

I Still See Magic

I Still See Magic
Bryan Chandler/Super Trampoline

Intro
Bbm F Bb D
Verse 1

Gm Cm Gm
I’ve heard a lot of talk today

D Gm
Of how the fandom’s dying.
Gm Cm Gm
But, though be that as it may,
D D/F# Gm
I see no need for crying.

F Bb
The Bronies still will gather ‘round

F Bb
To watch new episodes.

D7 Gm
The meetups may be smaller now,

C7 F7
But I still feel their glow...

Chorus

Bb Cm Eb F
Yes, I still see magic, in spite of the changes;
Bb Cm F F7
Laughter and love still abound.
Bb Cm D7 D7/F# Gm Gm/F
Some say it’s tragic, but part of life’s strangeness is how
Eb Eb/D Cm Cm/Bb F/A F Bb
It rearranges our friendships around.
Cm/Bb Bb Cm Bb Bb/A

Verse 2
Gm Cm Gm
Oh! You cry out for the days

D Gm
You took rebellious courses.
Gm Cm Gm
Now it’s mainstream and blasé

D D/F# Gm
To love miniature horses.
F Bb
You are in a different place

F7 Bb
Than when you started viewing
D7 Eb
But for some that ain’t the case

C7 F7
We still enjoy what we are doing...

Chorus

Bb Cm Eb F
Yes, we still see magic, in spite of the changes;
Bb Cm F F7
Laughter and love still abound.
Bb Cm D7 D7/F# Gm Gm/F
Some say it’s tragic, but part of life’s strangeness is how
Eb Eb/D Cm Cm/Bb F/A F Bb
It rearranges our friendships around.
Cm/Bb Bb Cm/Bb Gm/Bb Bb

Bridge
Db Gb Eb Ab Ab/Gb

Long ago, a woman thought girls might like ponies;
F7 F7/A Bbm Eb Ab Ab9 Ab
She was right and thus was born a show
B E C# F#

Now we know that anyone can be a brony
Eb7 Eb7/G Abm Abm/Gb A/E E
You need only to believe that everywhere you go

A E F# (walk down to B)
There is magic in the friendship that you sow!

Chorus
B C#m E F#
There is magic, in spite of the changes;
B C#m F# F#7
Laughter and love still abound.
B C#m D#7 D#7/G G#m G#m/F#
Some say it’s tragic, but part of life’s strangeness is how
E E/C# C#m C#m/B F#/A# F# B Ab (walk down to Db)
It rearranges our friendships around.

Final Chorus
Db Ebm Gb Ab
Honesty, loyalty, selflessness, kindness and
Db Ebm Ab Ab7
Laughter and magic abound.
Db Ebm F7 F7/A Bbm Bbm/Ab
We may grow older, but our friendships grow bolder and have
Gb Gb/F Ebm Ebm/Db Ab/C Ab Db
I ever told you that I’m glad you’re around?

Bbm Bbm/A Gb Gb/F Ebm Ebm/Db Ab/C Ab
Did you k n o w y o u a r e m y v er y b e s t
Gb(/Gb, Ab, Bb, C) Db
F r i e n d s ?

You're a Bitch

You’re a Bitch
Super Trampoline

Chorus
Db Ab Bbm Fm Gb Db Ab (Absus4 Ab)
Hey there Spitfire, you’re a bitch, don’tcha know?
And it seems to me that maybe you enjoy it.

Db Ab Bbm Gb A Db
Some folks desire being rich, not you though,
For the itch that you scritch

Bb Ebm Ab7 Db (Gb/Db Db)
Is to bitch at dimwits
In the Wonderbolts deployment.

Verse 1
Db Ab Cb Gb x2
I see you out in the field
Your hawkish eyes ever peeled
You’re watching for the rookie mistakes
That amateurs tend to make

B F# B F# A E A E
And you catch an error
And you pounce on it
And proceed to tear
Appart that little shit

B F# B F# A E Ab
Must you be so rough
Must you be so rude
You can still be tough
Without being crude

Chorus
Db Ab Bbm Fm Gb Db Ab (Absus4 Ab)
Hey there Spitfire, you’re a bitch, don’tcha know?
And it seems to me that maybe you enjoy it.

Db Ab Bbm Gb A Db
Some folks desire being rich, not you though,
For the itch that you scritch

Bb Ebm Ab7 Db (Gb/Db Db)
Is to bitch at dimwits
In the Wonderbolts deployment.

Verse 2
Db Ab Cb Gb x2
I hear you in the locker room
Prognosticating cadets’ doom
There seems to be a common theme
Of crushing little ponies’ dreams

B F# B F# A E A E
Do you hope they fail?
Do you hope they flee?
Do you hope they flail
About so aimlessly

B F# B F# A E Ab
Are you really good
At the job you do
Or perhaps they should
Replace your sad ass too!

Chorus
Db Ab Bbm Fm Gb Db Ab (Absus4 Ab)
Hey there Spitfire, you’re a bitch, don’tcha know?
And it seems to me that maybe you enjoy it.

Db Ab Bbm Gb A Db
Some folks desire being rich, not you though,
For the itch that you scritch

Bb Ebm Ab7 Db (Gb/Db Db)
Is to bitch at dimwits
In the Wonderbolts deployment.

Author's Note

Take Me to the Princess (another Elton John parody)

Take Me to the Princess
(To the tune of "Take Me to the Pilot" by Elton John and Bernie Taupin)

Verse 1
Twilight, stop! I am real, I am Cadance;
I've been trapped in this stone prison.
Ladybugs will awaken it you help me
For she's taken my position

PreChorus 1
A pretender to the throne, she
Has seduced my little pony
Sapping Shining with each tainted kiss
Twilight, take me to Queen Chrysalis!

Chorus
Take me to the princess
Free me from this chamber
Take me to the princess
To my doppelganger

Take me to my boyfriend
Who's about to marry
A changeling usurper
An unseelie fairy

Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na

Verse 2
Well the legends of old, they foretold
Of a moldy black flying pony.
Though she may look like me
She ain't holy; she's a wholely holey phony.

PreChorus 2
That's a lot of nerve she's gotten
Laying siege to Canterlot when
All the while she's stuffed me in cave
And made my fiancé a sex slave.

Chorus
Take me to the princess
Free me from this chamber
Take me to the princess
To my doppelganger

Take me to my boyfriend
Who's about to marry
A changeling usurper
An unseelie fairy

Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na

PreChorus 3
As we practice defenestration
In defence of our proud nation
I look her in her panicked eyes and say,
"Fuck off, bitch, 'cause it's MY wedding day!"

Chorus
Take me to the princess
Free me from this chamber
Take me to the princess
To my doppelganger

Take me to my boyfriend
Who's about to marry
A changeling usurper
An unseelie fairy

Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na

Take me to the princess of black mold

Pinkie Pie, Pinkie Pie

VERSE 1
Life is dark life is cruel
Those in power are all fools
So much hurt, so much pain
Does a number on my brain
Month to month, year to year
Must we live in constant fear?
How I wish you could appear
Wipe away all of our tears

Just to see your smile
In person would be grand
You’d spread happiness throughout the land!

CHORUS
Pinkie pie, pinkie pie
how I wish that I could lie
Next to you in a field of happy flowers
Having lunch, having fun,
Neath the warm afternoon sun
Oh if only I could be your cup of flour

VERSE 2
Go to school learn the rules
Go to work and be a tool
With that job buy a house
Buy a car and find a spouse
You’ll go far if you try
So they tell us, it’s a lie
Be a star or be a spy
Doesn’t matter we all die

It’s a sad conclusion
That I’ll never get to share
A life with my favorite mare

CHORUS
Pinkie pie, pinkie pie
how I wish that I could lie
Next to you in a field of happy flowers
Having lunch, having fun,
Neath the warm afternoon sun
Oh if only I could be your cup of flour

BRIDGE
Maybe you’re a cartoon
But you sure feel real to me
And I wish you were in my reality
There are many ladies, oh so lovely I have met
But there have been none as animated yet.

CHORUS
Pinkie pie, pinkie pie
how I wish that I could lie
Next to you in a field of happy flowers
Having lunch, having fun,
Neath the warm afternoon sun
Oh if only I could be your cup of flour

Pinkie pie, pinkie pie
Hold me close and close your eyes
Happy sighs as we idly pass the hours
Making love, making puns
Living life as if we’re one
Oh if only this sweet vision were
A real party practitioner
I’d do more than envision her
Life would be sweet not sour

Tiny Prancer (Parody of "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John)

Tiny Prancer

Music: Elton John
Lyrics: Super Trampoline (Bryan Chandler) based on Bernie Taupin

Verse 1
Tall and stately, lanky lady
Magic sparkles in her eyes
Equestrians all call her their friend
But I’m the one she calls her guy.

Princess Twilight, magenta highlights
On her flowing, sapphire hair
O’er our country, my little pony
Rules with love and grace to spare

Verse 2
Flim and Flam: their latest scam?
Selling bootleg gala passes
She rolls her eyes, as AJ sighs
When will they stop cheating the masses?

Beaurocrating, her mane is matting
But she loves running the world
With delegation, she rules our nation
Then flies to me with wings unfurled

PreChorus
And when the bills pile high
And all her friends have said goodbye
Overwhelmed, she snuggles with me
A gentle whinny, as I say, Twily...

Chorus (x2)
Hold me closer, Tiny Prancer
Count the ponies in the skyway
Lay me down in fields of barley
You’re such a busy mare, today.

Rest of Song:
Verse 1, PreChorus, Chorus x2

Author's Note

I rhymed a lot more than Bernie Taupin did. Meh?