In the early morning of a las-Pegasus autumn. Beyond the glitz an glamour of the city proper. In the far more humble, but lesser seen suburbs. Within a peculiarly bricken house that stood out a country mile compared to the cloud rock homes of its neighbors. A mother found herself at her wit's end.
“Biteeeey!” Pinkie yelled up the stairs. And not for the first time this morning. Nor this week for that matter. Indeed, her son seemed to be in one of his famous moods. And it was finally getting on the aging mares nerves.
Unfortunately, there was no reply.
“Biteolomew Aim's Pie!” She stomped. “ Get down here this instant! The school cart already came and left!
Still nothing.
“Every Morning this week,” she mumbled through her teeth, tossing her hooves up in annoyance. Fed up with yelling, Pinkie walks into the kitchen, returning only moments later carrying a steaming frying pan between her teeth. Placing the pan on the ground, she then unfurls her wings and begins fanning the delightful scent up as far as it'd go, “This'll get him,” she smiled mischievously......
Nothing.
“Ugh! Biteeeeyy! Wakey wakey Eggs and haykey!”
For a while there was nothing. Then just as the mare looked away, a brutally coarse, yet unmistakably childish voice called back down. “No!”
“Please Don't make me come up there.” Pinkie pleaded yet again. Unfortunately, nothing beyond more sounds of youthful stubbornness, And the squawks of a frightened bird in the windowsill returned.
“Ohh, What I'm I going to do with you.” With a harrumph, Pinkie flaps her large wings and begins her descent up the stairs. Approaching the second door on the left, One Noticeable for having a fairly unchanged growth chart clawed into the frame, and a few bad drawings pinned to its surface. Pinkie Knocked, making one last futile attempt at being fair. “Biteeey,” She beckoned, trying to sound more loving than angry. “I know you're in there, You're going to be late for school.”
At the sound of a soft thud hitting the door, followed by a metallic slam and some muffled mumbling. Pinkie sighed and pushed the latch. “I'm coming in!”
less than a few steps in, Pinkie briefly closed her eyes. Silently wishing she was the least bit surprised at the sight of the pigsty that was her son's bedroom. While not untypical of any six year old's room, with toys and clothes scattered about haphazardly amidst the never-ending piles of crumbs from Celesta knows what. There was a certain air about this excessive state of disregard, that felt deliberate. Worse yet, a possible extension of his recent acting out. This was cemented in passing, with his favorite toy. A rockwool rabbit he had named Ash, laying upside down in a rather sad looking pose, Still smoldering from the fire that had jettisoned it.
Tip hoofing past the chaos, Pinkie approached a single Barbecue grill that lay in the center of the room, Its hood down, and roaring on a low flame.”Just as I suspected.” She pouted. “Why are you doing this?”
“Go Away! Bitey no want go to School! Me Comfy!”
“If you miss another day, you'll be written up,” Pinkie said, fidgeting at the hoods handle to no avail.
“Me no Care! School Stupid!”
“What happened now!?” She sighed. “You didn't eat the teacher's geodes again, did you?”
“Nothing happen! Me fine!” He snarled.
Recognizing, that tone, all too well. Pinkie lets go of the handle and sat down next to the grill, Taking a deep breath and allowing just a few moments to calm herself. ”Come on sweetie.” She began in her most caring expression. “Whats wrong? You've been so mean all week. And It's making me all worried. You don't want me to worry do you?”
“Me.......Me no want talk about it.....Momma please no make Bitey go to school?”
“But I thought you liked going to school. You get to play, read, and do all sorts of fun things.”
“Bitey no care!?”
“And.” She smiled slyly. “If you go to school you get to hang out with Rainsong.”
There was a sudden flinch beneath the hood, hard fast and nervous. “Bitey no Want Talk with Rainsong!” He yelled. “She have Cooties!”
“Cooties?” Restraining a laugh Pinkie settled for an amused grin. ”Yea right!, You're going to tell me that my strong little avocado is afraid of cooties.”
“Bitey no Avocado. Me Dragon!”
“But you look just like one!” she grinned.
“Me Dragon!” He growled, clearly unamused with the remark.
“I know, I know,” Pinkie giggled. “But doesn't that make it worse. Dragons are Supposed to be fearless. But look at you. You're just sitting in your grill, so afraid your fillyfriend will give you cooties that you've tried to miss school all week.”
“Rainsong no Bitey Fillyfreind, just Friend Filly..... And, Bitey no Afraid..Just...”
“Just whaaat?” Pinkie prodded jokingly.
“Popping the hood open with one hard push. A small green dragon accented with purple fins, not that anypony could tell with the layer of soot coating him. emerges from the roaring grill alongside a cloud of pitch black smoke. “Just, Bitey no want be made fun of.”
“Whaaat!?” She gasped. “Rainsongs so nice. Why would she wanna make fun of you sweetie?”
“Not Rainsong.” He sighed. “Other foals... Hearts an Hooves day Next Week. Bitey want.... Make Card.”
“And whats wrong with that?” Pinkie asked, fearlessly reaching past the flames of the grill to run her hoof through Bitey's head fins. Just barely avoiding her fur catching to provide him some comfort.
“Bitey no write so good. Afraid Rainsong won't read Bitey writing.”
“Couldn't you ask a friend to help you?”
“Nooo!” He growls, adamantly stomping his foot against the bars. “Rainsong Bitey only real friend. Everypony else make fun of Bitey. Say Bitey stupid and talk weird. Me no want anypony help Bitey.”
“They said what now?” In an instant Pinkies outstretched hoof stiffened. And the grueling memories of her last parent-teacher conference, (Where she thought this had been settled.) came rushing back to her. It was at this point. The cringe on the mare's face could only be surpassed by an angry blush so verdant it almost showed through her neon pink coat. She was about to say something in his defense but was cut off by a sudden claw wave.
“That why Bitey want make card.” He smiled meekly. Which in his case, meant bending the edges of his permanent toothy grin up a few degrees. “Rainsong only pony nice to Bitey at school. Me want show appreciation.”
“Oh, I get it .”Pinkie lied, realizing his mind was made up, and that nothing she could say to him would matter. Faking a smile, Pinkie resumes patting at Bitey's grimy carbon coated head. “Don't you worry Sweetie, If you want to make a card so bad. Tonight when I get off work, I'll help you write.”
“No!” he shouted, cringing awkwardly at the idea, “Momma too silly, Embarrass Bitey! No Want Momma's help either.”
“Oh Pleeeas!” she waved her hoof nonchalantly. “I've been around the block way more than once kiddo. Let me help you, and you might even land yourself a little Hearts And Hooves day kiss.” She emphasized this statement with a foalish display of puckering, that probably would have gotten a laugh had present company not been avoiding eye contact.
“Rr-Rel-Really!” He looked up with amazement, the moment the words reached whatever implement reptiles hear with, Only to turn face back to the ground seconds later. “....Bitey Mean Gross... No want Rainsong kiss!”
“Sure you don't.” Pinkie giggled, playfully jabbing her son in the shoulder. “That'd get you cooties, no doubt.”
“Bitey no Afraid of Cooties Either! Momma Crazy.”
“Crazy is as crazy does,” she joked, fanning out the flames of the grill with her mighty wings before shifting back to an amused smile. “But if you don't want help. Then how about this. After school lets out, you could say some things you wanted to put in Rainsongs card. While I just happened, to be around holding a pen and paper. And I might just Accidentally, write it down and drop it into your school bag.”
“Really!.... Uh, Bitey Mean me Think About it.” He scuffed, kicking some crud off the hot bars.
Lifting the small drake from his grill, Pinkie snuggled him gently against her chest. “If you say so, sweetie.” She smiled, looking down into his unfocused purple eyes
“Gross momma!” The drake flailed. Knocking himself to the ground, just barely landing on his feet. “Bitey no want momma cooties either.”
“Course you don't, Hehe. So, are you ready to go to school now?”
“Maybe!” He grumped, stubbornly crossing his arms.
“Okay good. Now you already missed the cart. So I'll have to drop you off on the way to work.
“Okay Momma.” The young drake lamented, extending his syllables as a clear sign of defeat.
“Great! alright You go shower really quick. I'll get changed. Then we can eat breakfast on the way.”
“OHH! Do Bitey really need shower?”
“Yes! “ She stated matter of factually. “All those stripes make you look like a zebra. Now get ready. If you hurry, I'll let you use your flames for the Balloon.”
“Really!!!! Bitey get to drive Balloon!”
“Well, heat the air.... I'll still be the one.”
“Woo Hoo!” He shouted, leaping dramatically into the air.”
“Sweetie. Don't think I'm going to let you.”
Clearly not listening, The young drake began his march. Striding across the room whilst singing a Joyful repetition of ♫Bitey Gonna fly Balloon,♫
“Bitey? I'm not goin..”
Slam! In an instant, the bathroom door was shut. This was quickly followed by the roar of the water faucet and louder yet less comprehensible singing.
Rolling her eyes and leaving out the way she came, Pinkie smiled. “What am I going to do with you. ….My little avocado.”
