The Princess' Pie

by yodajax10

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie
Length: 4831

Pinkie Pie tells the Crusaders of her greatest cooking experience!

A collab between me and SuperPinkBrony12.

Takes place during the events of A Bird In The Hoof.

On their way to give a cake to Princess Celestia due to her Royal Gathering in Ponyville, they bump into the party pony herself, Pinkie Pie. She decides to tell them a little story about her own special cooking experience. One that's hard to believe!

Published 2018-06-01 01:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-01 01:20:07 UTC

Easy As Pinkie Pie

In the kitchen of Sweet Apple Acres, three little fillies collectively known as The Cutie Mark Crusaders, were waiting impatiently by the oven for the familiar ding sound. It didn’t matter to them that the kitchen was a little messy. What mattered, was that their pie be done soon.

For word had reached the fillies ears that Princess Celestia was going to be having a little social gathering down at Sugarcube Corner, and that presented them with an opportunity. An opportunity to gain some recognition from the ruler of their land, and hopefully even earn their cutie marks in pie baking.

“How much longer, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo impatiently complained, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. “It feels like that pie’s been baking for ages.”

Apple Bloom eyed the small timer that had been set up next to the stove, she’d set it for an hour (as that’s how long she recalled it usually took for her family’s famous apple pies to be baked to perfection). But time seemed to be working against her and her friends, deciding to tick by agonizingly slow. “It should be almost done by now, just a few more minutes.” She replied to her pegasus friend.

“You’ve been saying that for the past half hour,” Sweetie Belle groaned. “I haven’t been this bored since our last sleepover at Rarity’s place. If I’d known it would take this long I would’ve brought a coloring book or something.”

“I really mean it this time, girls,” Apple Bloom insisted, the farm filly glancing back to the timer. Trust me, it’ll all be worth it when the princess takes a bite of this pie, and demands to know who’s responsible for bakin’ somethin’ so delicious! We’ll get our cutie marks for sure!”

“Assuming your family doesn’t find out how much of a mess we made, or that we used an oven without permission.” Scootaloo remarked.

“Granny always say you can’t bake an omelette without breakin’ a few eggs,” The farm filly protested with a shake of her head. “Long as we clean up afterwards, nopony’ll be any the wiser. And if we all work together, we’ll have this kitchen lookin’ better than it did before we started bakin’ our pie.”

Just then, there came a “ding”. Apple Bloom took that as cue to pull open the oven door, and inspect the apple pie. All three fillies took a whiff, delighting in the smell of a crisp and freshly baked apple pie.

Sweetie Belle eyed the pie, licking her lips in anticipation. “Maybe we should taste test it first? You know, to make sure it’s good enough for a princess.” She suggested.

Scootaloo, however, threw up a hoof to stop Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. “If we take a bite of that pie, we won’t be able to present it to the princess, and we’ll never get our cutie marks!” The pegasus protested. “It looks good enough to me, let’s get it to the princess already!”

“But what about the kitchen?” Apple Bloom complained, taking note of how messy it was.

Scootaloo shook her head, scooping up the pie with her muzzle. “There’s no time for that! We have to get this pie to Sugarcube Corner before Princess Celestia arrives!” She protested. “If we don’t, there’s no way her royal guards will let us anywhere near her. And she’ll probably fill up on sweets and have no room for our pie,” Rushing out the kitchen door, she shouted to her fellow Crusaders. “Come on! That little gathering’s gonna start soon!”

Reluctantly, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle rushed out the door after Scootaloo. They wanted to make sure they were on hoof to be her eyes and ears so that she wouldn’t drop the pie and ruin all their hard work. If only they had more time, they could’ve hitched a ride in the wagon attached to Scootaloo’s scooter.

However, the trio of eager fillies hadn’t gotten far, when who should come bouncing into their path but Pinkie Pie herself? Luckily, her ‘Pinkie Sense’ alerted her to the presence of the Crusaders, and she skidded to a halt just seconds before she would’ve collided with them and knocked the pie away. “Hey ya, girls!” She eagerly squeaked, before her nose caught a whiff of the warm apple pie. “Mmm!” The party pony declared. “That pie looks almost good enough to eat!”

“Sorry, Pinkie Pie, it ain’t for you!” Apple Bloom protested quite firmly. “It’s for Princess Celestia! We were hopin’ to present it to her at her gatherin’ at Sugarcube Corner.”

“Hey, that’s funny, because I was just on my way to Sugarcube Corner as well!” Pinkie declared with a giggle. “It’s almost like some greater power wanted us to meet or something!” She proceeded to ask. “You girls looking forward to having Princess Celestia sample your pie, and have her taste buds be transported to heaven?”

Rather than nod, however, the trio of fillies exchanged glances and looked at the ground. Sweetie Belle even pawed at the dirt with a hoof as she confessed. “Actually… we’re kind of nervous. We haven’t met Princess Celestia before, we’ve only heard about her from other ponies. What if she refuses to eat our pie, or laughs at the fact that we’re trying to get our cutie marks in pie baking?”

The fillies expected Pinkie to laugh at their fears and tell them they were being silly. But to their surprise, she looked them all square in the eyes and with a broad smile she told them simply. “Oh girls, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m sure the princess will LOVE your pie! And I’m pretty sure she’ll admire your quest to get your cutie marks.”

“What makes you say that, Pinkie?” Scootaloo asked, still struggling to balance the apple pie on her nose.

With a wink, Pinkie declared. “I learned from a special cook long ago, one that gave me a chance to learn just what Princess Celestia is really like.”

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all became intrigued by this. The only pony they knew who had any prior experiences with Princess Celestia (outside of the Summer Sun Celebration) was Twilight, and she was the princess’ student. “Please tell us the story!” They all pleaded with Pinkie.

Grinning from ear to ear, the pink party pony obliged the request of her young friends. “I was hoping you’d say that,” And then she started narrating. “This happened a long time ago. Well, maybe not that long ago, but you get the point. Anyway, it all started shortly after I got my cutie mark.” And this is the story Pinkie told them:

Pinkie couldn’t stop bouncing up and down while shouting! “Best field trip EVER!” This was her first time seeing the city of Canterlot in all its glory. Compared to the drabiness of the dull greys and browns of the rock farm she and her family lived on, the city was like a work of art. Bright colors of white, red, yellow, and blue stood out in vivid detail. The shining sun only complimented their appearance, especially with all the fancy ponies in their fancy dresses as they trotted along the cobblestone paths with their snouts held high.

Pinkie was thrilled that her school had been able to afford to go on this field trip to the capital city of Equestria, and even more thrilled that her parents had been willing to let her go on it. Of course, she wasn’t going alone. She was accompanied by a filly not much older than her, who had a coat of mostly dull gray, and had a mane and tail that hung flat against her sides. Pinkie’s mane and tail used to be like that, but her mom and dad had long given up on trying to revert them back to that state. Her big sister and most favorite, Maud.

“The city is so bright.” Maud commented in her flat tone of voice. Most ponies assumed she was emotionless and detached, but Pinkie knew her sister better. Maud’s lack of expression betrayed a pony who was quite emotional. She could be friendly and hilarious to those who knew her best.

“Bet you’re glad you got a chance to see it in all its glory!” Pinkie proudly declared. “And that your amazing little sister was able to bake a cake good enough to enter into the Royal Equestrian Junior Bake-Off! It’s sure to knock those judges’ socks off, and they don’t even wear socks!” The filly was balancing a huge cardboard box that housed a cake that by size alone would’ve been impossible for any filly other than Pinkie Pie to make. How she’d been able to whip up such a creation, was something that at the moment defied explanation.

Maud, however, was more interested in the cobblestones that made up the pathways and roads of Canterlot. Rocks were her passion, she was planning to pursue a rock studying career when she got older, and apply for a rocktorate. Heck, it was because of rocks that she’d met her pet, Boulder (currently tucked away in her pocket for safekeeping, he was awfully shy around strangers). “Boulder and I are very happy for you, Pinkie Pie,” Maud commented. “But don’t you think you should be keeping a closer eye on your cake?”

Pinkie laughed. “Oh Maud, I know I’m your favorite little sister, but you don’t have to always look out for me when Mom and Dad aren’t around. My cake is totally secured, and it’s sure to win first place in the contest.”

But at that very moment, there came a loud whoosh, and Pinkie felt something come soaring past behind her. The best she was able to catch when she turned to look, was a glimpse of a blue pegasus stallion in a dark blue flight suit and matching goggles. Unfortunately, by turning her neck, the pink pony upset the delicate balance protecting the box her cake resided in.

The box slid off Pinkie’s back and into the air as her ‘Pinkie Sense’ warned her that something was going to fall via a twitchy tail. Pinkie let out a gasp! “Oh no, my cake!”

Luckily, the box was intercepted in mid flight by the same pegasus stallion from earlier. But he seemed to be unaware he had anything on his back. Soon, the box slid off him, and a gust of wind blew it towards the ground. Where it landed delicately atop a series of similar looking (and shaped) packages, in a cart headed towards the castle. The cart hauling pony was clearly unaware of this, as the dark brown coated earth pony trudged along as if nothing had happened.

“Wait, come back! Cake stealer!” Pinkie squealed, but to no avail. Her cake and the cart it was on, disappeared around a bend. Both of them bound for the castle. Distraught, the pink coated filly turned to Maud and whispered to her. “You’ve got to keep everypony busy while I get my cake back!”

“Couldn’t you just wait until we got into the castle, then ask to use the little filly’s room?” Maud suggested. “The castle’s pretty big, you could easily get lost in there.”

“I can’t wait that long! The contest starts in half an hour! I have to get my cake back and make sure it’s still in one piece!” Pinkie protested. “Please, Maud, stall for me! I won’t be long!” And she ran off before Maud could utter a single syllable of protest.

Maud sighed. “How do I get into these situations, Boulder?” She asked her pet, as she took him out of the pocket of her favorite shirt (a gift from her parents). “It’s up to you,” She told the rock. “Create a distraction.” And she lightly tossed him along the ground, taking care not to let him be chipped or cracked. She proceeded to chase after her pet, which caught everypony’s attention. Thus, no one noticed a pink coated earth pony filly sneaking off toward the castle.

By the time she reached the front gate of the castle, Pinkie was nearly out of breath and panting heavily. “Where’d that cart get to? And more importantly, where’s my cake?” She wondered aloud.

A bit too loudly, for an unfamiliar voice shouted out. “Who’s there?!” Pinkie gasped and dove for cover in a nearby bush! After several seconds of shaking, she was able to poke her face out ever so slightly. And she saw a pristine white coated unicorn stallion with a dark blue mane and tail, decked out in some kind of purple uniform with a badge on it. “He must be one of those royal guards I heard about,” The filly realized. “Maybe I could ask him to let me into the castle?” But just before she could step out of the bush and do so, she hesitated as a thought struck her. “Or, what if he arrests me for trespassing? He’ll never believe I’m looking for a runaway cake. I’ve got to find a way to sneak inside without him seeing me.”

The stallion, meanwhile, searched all around the gate for the source of the unknown voice. “Whoever you are, come out with your hooves up,” He firmly barked out. “I’m a royal guard in training, I’m not scared of you. And I promise I won’t hurt you.”

But then, suddenly, the stallion got a glimpse of a very familiar pink coated alicorn. A faint blush formed on his cheeks as the alicorn waved back at him. “What’s she doing here?” He thought to himself. And against his better judgement, he went over to talk to her, for he had not been expecting to see her today.

That gave Pinkie the window of opportunity she needed. She dove out of the bush and frantically tiphooved past the gate and into the castle itself.

Maud hadn’t been kidding when she said the castle was enormous. The hallways adorned with red carpeting and matching curtains seemed to stretch on forever. All the while, various windows offered a view to the outside and the castle gardens. One window in particular, caught the filly’s eye. It was a stone statue of a really weird creature, caught in a pose that made it look like it was either laughing or singing. And a short distance from it, was what appeared to be a huge labyrinth.

Pinkie was so absorbed by this sight, that she didn’t pay attention to where she was going. She ended up bumping into another pony. A series of thuds indicated the presence of books. But before the filly could so much as touch one of them, they were lifted out of her reach by a light purple glow, and assembled into a stack. Said stack hid the face of what Pinkie assumed was a unicorn filly about her age. All she could make out from her perspective, was the filly’s coat, one of what seemed to be a lavender in color.

But whoever this filly was, perhaps she could be helpful? Pinkie decided to ask. “Excuse me? You wouldn’t by any chance happen to have seen a cart full of packages that would include a cake intended for a baking contest today, would you?”

Without looking around the books to see who was speaking to her, the unicorn filly replied. “I think maybe I have. I saw a cart pass through here on the left just a few seconds ago.”

“Great!” Pinkie beamed and prepared to rush away. But then a nagging detail halted her in her tracks. “Wait a minute. Do you mean my left or your left?” She asked.

“I don’t know, I just saw it pass through on the left.” The filly replied.

“Yes, but on my left or your left?” Pinkie asked again.

“I just said the left, I didn’t say my left or your left.” The filly answered.

“Wait a minute, now you’re confusing me! When you say my left, do you mean your left?”

“No, not your left. My left.” The filly once again answered, but said no more.

Pinkie groaned, sensing that she was getting nowhere with this conversation. “Can you just point a hoof to show me?” She pleaded.

The unicorn filly relented, pointing a lavender colored hoof to her left (which made it Pinkie’s right). “That way,” She replied, sounding rather annoyed. “Now would you please move, you’re blocking my path.”

“Oopsie, my bad!” Pinkie apologized with a blush, and stepped to the side a little, before she raced away and down the hall in the direction the filly had just indicated.

Running down the hall to her right, Pinkie managed to catch a glimpse of the cart that had her cake on it. It seemed that somehow, despite the long road it had no doubt travelled, it was no closer to falling off than it was at any point since it had landed on the cart.

“Okay, I just have to get my cake back, apologize for the mix-up, and then get back to Maud and the others in time for the contest. Easy as pie!” The earth pony thought, bouncing along in eagerness.

However, the filly hadn’t gotten far when she heard another unfamiliar voice calling out.
“Spike!”

Pinkie froze in her tracks as she heard the sound of running hooves. With no time to think, Pinkie ran behind a couple vases and hid.

“Spike, where are you?” From behind the vases, Pinkie now got a glimpse of who the voice belonged to. It appeared to be that same pink coated alicorn that distracted that one royal guard earlier.

“Where are you, you silly dragon?” Pinkie’s heart stopped. Had she heard right? A dragon? A big, scaley, fire breathing, pony eating dragon?!

“Spike! Spike!” The alicorn called at length, her voice somehow echoing down the hallway. A sigh of frustration escaped her lips. “Where did that little trouble maker get to? Why does he always like to play hide and seek?” She then trotted down the hallway and disappeared down the other end.

Emerging from behind the vase, Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief at her close call. And she was about to resume her search, she heard a clattering sound. She looked up and looked from behind. She noticed the lid of the vase shaking, as if it was moved around.

Pinkie was confused, but she turned around to continue her search, until she felt something pull her tail. She yelped and covered her face. “IwasonlylookingformycakeIwasonlylookingformycake!!!”

Pinkie removed her hooves from view and saw nopony was around. She suddenly noticed two green eyes appearing from the vase. But they suddenly went back inside.

“Hello?” Pinkie asked looking at the vase. She ducked her head, and waited for the top of the vase to clatter, which it did. Pinkie looked up, but once she did, the vase was back to normal.

Pinkie happened to glance over her shoulder. And when she saw a cart come rolling past, she instantly remembered what she’d been doing before! “Oh my gosh, my cake! I totally forgot!” She exclaimed, as she rushed after the cart.

Unfortunately, even at her top speed, Pinkie couldn’t keep up with the cart. Turning a corner, she was just in time to see it be taken into the royal kitchen. Without even thinking for a second about the consequences, the filly charged through the massive double doors and into the kitchen in pursuit of her cake!

The kitchen was just as massive as the hallways had been. All sorts of chef ponies were trotting about the kitchen, clad in their aprons and matching uniforms. Some were chatting amongst themselves or to others, while others were whistling unfamiliar tunes as they went about their work.

Smells of all kinds assaulted Pinkie’s nostrils, many of them appearing to come from dishes that to Pinkie looked not only small in portion, but bland in taste. Who in their right mind would want to eat that stuff?

Suddenly, the earth pony filly’s blue eyes happened to spot what seemed to be a rather tall, white coated pegasus mare with a flowing mane of blue, green, and pink all tied back in a hairnet. The top of her head was covered by a chef’s hat, and she was hard at work on a cake. Though who it was for, Pinkie had no idea.

It was then that Pinkie spotted her cake, it had been removed from its box and now rested on a chef’s tray just off to the pegasus mare’s right. Any hint of caution or stealth went right out the window as Pinkie locked her eyes on her target, and dashed toward it. She was sure she could climb up to the tray and steal back her cake.

However, just as the earth pony was trotting past the pegasus mare, the mare turned around and saw Pinkie!

“Oh!” The pegasus spoke surprised. “What are you doing in here?”

Pinkie gasped and froze on the spot, having been caught in the act! She found herself at a loss for words as a result. “Um, um… I… I… I was… the cake…”

“Oh, do you mean this cake?” The mare guessed, scooping up the one on the tray with her hooves. “I found it quite odd that it had ‘Pinkie Pie’ written on it in pink frosting. But I suppose that’s one way of ensuring ponies know who made it.”

“That’s my cake!” Pinkie happily exclaimed. But suddenly, her happiness turned to worry as she looked down. She still felt uncomfortable being in the presence of one of the castle chefs. At any moment, this mare was surely going to report her to the royal guards, or even the princess herself. And they would probably throw Pinkie out along with her cake, defeating the entire purpose for her coming to Canterlot in the first place. However, the mare simply brushed a wing up against the troubled filly and politely reassured her in a motherly voice. “It’s okay, little one. There’s nothing to be scared of. You must’ve come here, looking for your cake.”

“Y-yeah.” Was all Pinkie could bring herself to say.

The mare smiled in a way that felt almost like the radiating warmth of the sun. “It’s alright, I’m not mad. You can stay with me until I’m done baking my cake, then I’ll take you back to your class. You must be one of the participants in the Royal Equestrian Junior Bake-Off that’s being held today.” She informed the filly.

“Mm-hm,” Pinkie felt much more relaxed around the chef now that she knew the pegasus was willing to let her stay. Plus, she appreciated the offer to be taken back to her class, as the filly doubted she could find her way around this massive castle all by herself. Eyeing the cake the chef was carefully constructing, she asked. “Say, what kind of cake are you making?” The chef opened her mouth to speak, only for Pinkie to guess. “Let me guess, it’s a super duper long title that everypony has a hard time pronouncing, but it’s something super duper yummy.”

The chef’s mouth nearly dropped open in shock. “You’re right, Pinkie Pie,” She nodded. “You sure seem to know about cakes.”

“Cakes are only my second favorite food ever, right behind cupcakes!” Pinkie eagerly licked her lips. “In fact, my favorite place in all of Equestria is this nifty little bakery in Ponyville called Sugarcube Corner. The sweets there are to die for! And the owners are super sweet, they always let me have free samples whenever I visit.”

“Well, Pinkie Pie,” The pegasus asked her young quest. “How would you like to help me make this here cake?”

“Really? Oh, I’d love to! ” Pinkie proudly declared. “Together, we’ll make baking a cake a piece of cake!” And she laughed at her comment. To her surprise, the pegasus chef laughed as well.

For the next twenty minutes or so, the two ponies worked together on the cake. It was a massive undertaking, but between the two chefs they had everything covered.

As time went on, Pinkie started to relax. This chef pony, whoever she was, was super nice. And super funny too.

They had so much fun together, that they didn’t really care that they were making a mess of their section of the kitchen. “Well, nopony ever said cake baking was easy.” The chef declared.

“Or clean,” Pinkie giggled. “But that’s what makes it so fun. You get to make a mess, and then you get to clean it up, so you’re nice and hungry for your cake. Now if only more ponies would understand that.”

“Tell me about it,” The chef pony chuckled rather heartily. “So many of the chefs around take their jobs way too seriously. If something is even the slightest bit messy or out of place, they frown, complain, and apologize up and down about it. Nopony’s perfect. And besides, you can’t bake a cake without breaking a few eggs.”

“You mean omelette?” Pinkie corrected. “At least, that’s how Granny Pie always put it.”

The pegasus mare blushed. “Well, that too.”

At last, the cake was finished. But before either pony had a chance to admire their creation that was the result of hard work, the kitchen doors swung open.

Into the room trotted a unicorn stallion with a mustache and a monocle. He wore a fine black suit and tie, and had a pocket watch tucked into his left pocket, and some scrolls in his right pocket. “Pardon the interruption,” The stallion declared as he cleared his throat. “But it is time for Princess Celestia to host the Royal Equestrian Junior Bake-Off.”

Much to the surprise of Pinkie Pie, the pegasus chef simply smiled and declared. “Thank you, Kibitz. I’d almost forgotten.”

“Wait a minute, you know Princess Celestia?!” Pinkie exclaimed to the massive mare standing before.

“Know her?” The pegasus chef continued to smile, as she undid her hairnet and took off her chef’s hat, revealing a great big horn on the top of her head adorned with a yellow tiara.

“Wha-wha-what?!” Pinkie stammered, her eyes growing. “Y-you mean… I mean I-I thought you were…”

Princess Celestia only laughed and simply asked Pinkie. “Did you have fun today, my little baker?”

Slowly, as the reality sank in, Pinkie couldn’t contain her excitement! She started bouncing off of the kitchen walls as she proudly declared! “I just baked a cake with the princess! Oh, this is even better than entering my cake in the contest, and having it win! This is the most amazing, awesomest, super-duperist surprise I’ve ever got!”

Celestia only chuckled at Pinkie’s antics, they were so adorable. Once the filly had calmed down, she asked her young charge. “Would you like me to escort you back to your class? I’m sure your teacher is worried sick about you.”

Pinkie nodded. “I don’t think I’d ever find my way around this castle.”

“Well then, let’s be on our way.” Celestia nodded.

However, before either pony could leave, Pinkie embraced the princess in a massive hug. “Thank you so much for letting me bake with you.”

Celestia just smiled, sharing in the hug. “You’re quite welcome.”

“Wow! I can’t believe it! You actually baked with the actual ruler of Equestria?!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, as Pinkie’s story ended. All three Crusaders had become entranced by the twists and turns the story had taken.

“That’s nice and all, but we’re gonna be late to the gathering!” Scootaloo protested, the pie still balancing on her nose. “We’ve got to go!”

However, at that moment, a large, white coated unicorn mare came trotting up to the fillies. She was wearing a mail pony outfit, though her mane was an odd blue, green, and pink in color. “How about I deliver the pie to the princess for you?” She offered. “I’ll make sure to let her know how hard you all worked on it.”

“Sounds like a great idea!” Apple Bloom declared, as she took the pie off of Scootaloo’s nose and gently hoofed it over to the mail mare. “Now we don’t have to worry ‘bout Scootaloo droppin’ it accidentally. Come on, Crusaders! Let’s hurry to the gatherin’! Pie bakin’ cutie marks, here we come!”

The trio of fillies rushed off, as Pinkie turned to the mail mare and eyed her closely. Then she gasped, as a sudden realization struck her!

“...Princess Celestia?” She asked.

The disguised princess just smiled at Pinkie. “It’s wonderful to see you again, Pinkie. Now I’d best be on my way, I have to make sure this pie gets to its intended owner.” And with a wink to Pinkie, she took off with a flap of her wings, the pie safely in tow.

All Pinkie could do was smile, watching the princess fly off over the horizon.