The Winter Beanis

by Vertigo22

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Sex, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Rainbow Dash, Equestria Girls, Comedy
Length: 1101

Wherein Twilight Sparkle gives a penis made of beans a metal arm.

Edited by Octavias Melody and James Fire.

Twilight Sparkle, believing to have a way to make a penis made of beans significantly more appealing and pleasurable, attaches a metal arm to it.

A part of the Beanis Cinematic Universe because everyone else is doing it.

Published 2018-06-01 18:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-01 18:00:07 UTC

The First Beanvenger

It was the middle of winter and Canterlot High was closed due to a recent mishap involving a mysterious figure with a mask who bore an aroma of beans.

No one knew who he was and most chalked it up to test-related stress, while others said he was a ghost and he'd go away if they opened a big portal.

In the end, one thing was absolutely sure.

He really hated Captain Equestria.

“Hey, Twilight, I just wanted to let you know that your ‘little’ you ripped up my mint-condition issue of Captain Equestria #1,” Rainbow Dash said. “You know, the thing that was worth thousands. So, uh, you better have some magical thing that fix it or I'm going to—” she snapped her fingers a few times— “I forget…”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Twilight sunk back into her laboratory. “I promise that I'll think of something. Just give me time.”

“Twilight, this was over a month ago and all I've seen is headlines in the school paper about bean semen being found in the school food,” Rainbow deadpanned. “How the hell does that thing even get out of your lab anyways?”

Twilight sighed. “Well…”

Experiments. Many, many experiments.

Ever since Twilight had desired her own beautifully handmade sex machine made of wonderfully edible food, pain was all the Beanis knew. It was given upgrade after upgrade to made it more pleasurable.

“Project: Fucky Barnes, upgrade one is a go.”

First, it was made to be stronger than ever before. The raw power of radiating pleasure throughout Twilight's body had been achieved through channeling vibrations through it.

“Ooh… Rarity was right,” Twilight moaned. “Vibrators are great.”

Then, it was made faster. No longer did it take time to achieve penetration. Now it could penetrate in the blink of an eye.

Twilight gasped. “Oh my!” She giggled as she pushed the Beanis in out of her ass. “Rarity was right again. Lubrication makes this much easier.”

Then came the growth. The inhumane growth. Five and a half inches of Beanis wasn't enough. Sure, one could argue that not everything is meant to have a career that rivals someone like Ron Jeremy.

But why settle for the status quo?

Day and night, Twilight created growth formula after growth formula. Endless injections had caused all sorts of lovely mutations. Semen that could create smaller Beanis’, shields that could deflect explosions from failed experiments, and contracts for movies that would gross hundreds of millions—possibly even billions—of dollars.

Sadly, the contracts weren't explosion proof.

But through it all, Twilight worked, until she finally managed to create it: a thirteen inch-long Beanis.

“You're a big guy.” Twilight smirked. “But not for me.”

And so after 13 inches of bean-cock, It was then that she knew it was time for the final enhancement.

Double penetration.

It was after Twilight saw the movie Deadpool 2 in theaters with Pinkie Pie. It was there that she saw that one guy, with the metal arm that something happened to her loins. She wasn't quite sure what it was about him that stirred her so. What she was sure was that it wasn't the fact that the snap of his fingers would cause a world-ending climax.

Regardless of whatever it was, she knew she needed to have his arm.

And so it was that after the movie ended, she ran home and masturbated for at least two hours. Once she cleaned up the mess she'd made, she did it again. Then, she fell asleep.

Upon waking up, she made the metal arm.

Sparks flew and moans echoed through the laboratory, because she was still as wet as Niagara Falls. It was a good thing she didn't throw away those tiny Beanis’.

It was an arduous process that had to be stopped many times due to the fact that cum doesn't exactly feel wonderful when it dries up on your leg. Especially after several orgasms.

So it was that Twilight licked her numerous Beanis’ clean like a good little slut. “Ooh…”

And then she shoved one of them back up her pussy.

After many more hours of a vicious cycle involving orgasms, cum, and penises made of beans, Twilight finished it. Her magnum opus.

A metal arm for her main Beanis.

Proudly, and with her legs shaking, she strutted over to it. “You're going to be… be…” Twilight's breathing increased slightly as she came. It was a decent one, but nothing worth writing home about.

Ripping the little Beanis out of her baby hole, Twilight ate it. “Mmm… cum covered bean-penis.” She licked her lips and turned to the 13 inch-long monster that she now craved like a sex-driven maniac.

More sparks flew as Twilight attached the arm to the Beanis. It took a mere thirteen hours, but once she was done, it looked like a cyborg cock.

“And now.” Twilight picked up a red button. “To power you up!”

Electricity coursed through the Beanis. It performed acrobatic feats that made judges around the world hold up signs with the number 10 on them. Except for Russia, who awarded a 9.5.

After several minutes, the Beanis sent out a shockwave of pure sexual energy, sending Twilight flying back into a wall, letting out a scream as her pussy convulsed and shot out love juices all over the floor. By the time it stopped, her head was spinning from the sheer ecstasy she'd felt.

The Beanis sat up and looked at its arm. It huffed and cast a glare at Twilight, shaking its head in shame at the sight of its creator. It jumped off the table and took one of the bean shields before punching a hole in a wall. It looked back on the last time with narrowed eyes; the eyes of a truly disturbed and emotionally complex character. This caused Twilight to feel an array of emotions, all of which ended in masturbation, before it fled out into the world.

“You… will be mine, Winter Beanis,” she said. “I'll make sure of it.”

“And that is how I created the bean-penis menace that ripped up your comic and terrorized the school.” Twilight said. “It's now in an inescapable cage in my lab and I'm gonna finally use it for its intended purpose.” A bit of drool dripped down onto to the floor. “For science, of course.”

Rainbow stared at Twilight, mouth agape. It took some time, but she finally managed to put her thoughts into an eloquent sentence that would make even Rarity clap.

“Can I try it?”

Author's Note

I'm not sorry.