While Res was recovering from his fit of laughter, Illesio took the time to ask a few questions of Clear Sight.

"These labor saving devices, as you called them, were they the precursors to your technological work today?"

"Certainly, although these particulars were more of a get rich quick scheme," replied Clear Sight, "and quite to my surprise, they achieved this rather well. Soon after my run-in with my brother and Res, I had made enough money off of the niche market to afford a respectable apartment in the Canterlot outskirts. And although I didn't have magic, I would sneak into my brother's classes and borrow textbooks from the library to learn all I could about his subject of study."

"I quickly became fascinated with magic, particularly the enchantment side of the matter, as an idea occurred to me one day that a passively and beneficially enchanted object could be used by all ponies, not just unicorns." Clear Sight sat down and gestured with his hooves. "To clarify to our listeners, the difference between a passive and an active enchantment is in how it is activated: a passive enchantment is an ongoing function, while an active enchantment needs a spell of some sort to be run. King Sombra's security system for the Crystal Heart, recently discovered and researched extensively by our arcanists, is a perfect example of both. The Crystal Heart itself was protected by a passive enchantment of anti-magic crystal spires, which would either trap or block anyone attempting recovery."

"At the bottom of a staircase in the heart of the castle lies a door that is unable to be opened unless hit by an activation spell of magic: regular or dark. This is a strange case, as its evasive maneuvers show signs of a passive enchantment until triggered, in which it ends its passive stage and becomes active."

"But I digress. Res, my brother, and I figured out a way to convert any basic spell into an enchantment, a process which we have covered extensively in many books, dissertations, and the like, and which would take too much time to state here."

Res had fully recovered by now, and continued, "Precisely. This method of conversion, although helpful, is rather obfuscated, and uses a few loopholes in the fabric of magic to achieve. However, it did win me and Clear Sight's brother high honors at CSGT that year, and an audience with none other than the singular, at the time, Princess of Equestria. We managed to convince Celestia that the base idea for the conversion came from an earth pony, which she was skeptical of at first, but after Clear Sight somehow managed to sneak past her entire guard force and her personal throne room magical alarm systems, she had to give in."

Clear Sight chuckled. "The second best bit of sneakery I ever did in my life."

"I feel like I don't really want to know the first, but to be perfectly honest, I do." admitted Illesio. "What's your best?"

"Three years later, when I found the Canterlot Library restricted section and stole some of the most dangerous spells known to ponykind. Of course Celestia found me, but after a brief scuffle and extended lecture, she let me off the hook with a warning. Best day of my life."

Silence fell for a few moments as everyone stared at the manically grinning Clear Sight, before Res cleared his throat and began again.

"Celestia had to give in after meeting Clear Sight and seeing his incredible knack for finding loopholes and thinking in ways that nopony else had ever thought before. So she gave him an honorary admittance to CSGT for the purpose of introducing this method of thought into the school."

Clear Sight frowned and crossed his forehooves. "Naturally, being the only earth pony in a school for posh unicorns had its downsides, and for a full year I was miserable and depressed. I only stayed in because of Res and my brother. But, over time, the students acclimated to me, my absurdity, and my misanthropy, and began to associate more openly. Some of the best minds in Equestria, now extroardinarily successful scholars in their own right, still credit much of their success to my influence." He scratched the back of his head. "Oof, nevermind, that sounded extremely egotistical."

"But you're right," Res affirmed, "Both Dawn Gleam and Evening Aurora have publicly stated as much, and even those not directly associated with you, such as Sunburst, admit to your influence in modern magical studies."

"Well hey, don't leave yourself out, Res, you've had just as much influence, quite possibly even more than I have," Clear Sight responded, exasperated. "Nothi--"

Res raised a hoof and interrupted, "Perhaps, but that doesn't matter. I have achieved many things, and I won't contradict you when you say I've had influence as well, but you are a completely different case. As an earth pony researching magic and creating some of the most essential spells known to modern thaumaturgy, you showed the world that it doesn't matter what type of pony you are, that you can still make an impact on the world in whatever field you choose."

Clear Sight seemed to hesitate, before he sighed and said "I know, I just don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn," he gave a pondering smile. "...There's a joke in there somewhere."

Res raised an eyebrow and continued the narrative. "Clear Sight's brother had settled into his life rather nicely, and showed every sign of being one of the most promising students in the school, but me and Clear Sight had some issues. Although Clear Sight was accepted at school, he still seemed lost. He had got his cutie mark ages ago, but as you can see, it isn't very revealing."

Illesio studied the mark, and had to agree: it was a green diamond with four quarter ovals arranged around the center to form a kind of X.

"And I just was isolated, as I only really had the two of them as friends. There was something lacking, a...a purpose, if you will. But then, something happened, something that only the two of us know about, that realized our true potentials and made us the ponies we are today. Something so totally unexpected, and by its very nature incomprehensible, that no sane pony would ever believe us if we didn't have proof."

Clear Sight joined in again, "Something quite possibly the most unexplainable and inexplicable thing that has ever happened in this world, or ever will. Something so incredibly out of left field that you'd trip over the grandstand, fall down the stairs, hop on a train to Griffonstone, hire a hang glider and jump off the highest peak of the border mountains, fall directly into a hole in time and space that would transport you to a world halfway across the galaxy, and when that planet falls into a black hole, become trapped in a time loop for eternity hundreds of thousands of light-years away from the actual left field."

Everypony Equestria round sat expectantly around their radios, impatiently.

Everypony Equestria round waited to hear what fresh twist would take this tale in a completely new direction.

Everypony Equestria round was on the edge of their seats, wildly speculating mentally, not with their friends, to not miss a single detail of what would be said next.

Res took a deep breath.

"Looks like we're out of time for today," he said. "See you next Saturday for our next installment!"

He and Clear Sight spoke in unison. "Until then, this is the Applicable Literature and Psychiatric Help Agency, signing off. We hope you have a great day!"

The beginnings of hysterical laughter from Clear Sight were heard for a split second before the radio cut off into a solid tone.

A song from Sapphire Shores quickly replaced it, returning the kingdom's radios to a state of normalcy.

Everypony Equestria round all began talking at once.

---------"That was the dumbest ending I've ever heard!"---------/

Author's Note

Well well well.
Well done, medium, Pittsburg rare.

This was the fastest chapter to write so far, is that a good sign or a bad sign, I have no idea.
Total time spent on chapter: 2 hours 45 minutes

Cheers for stupidity, I wouldn't have anything to make fun of if it didn't exist,
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