Applicable Literature & Psychiatric Help Agency
Saturday 5: Don't Panic
Previous ChapterNext Chapter"And this here is the Psychiatric Help Agency wing, where we run our services and conduct cutting-edge research on how the brain functions and how mental disorders are created or inherited."
Res gestured through a stark metal door into a starkly contrasting room: an enormous, well-furnished, cozy mansion foyer, with windows leading into beautiful forests running the length and breadth of the walls, fountains tucked away in small gardens as stepping stone paths wound between them.
"We wanted to make sure that those who really needed our help were comfortable here," said Res, "and our studies have shown the most reliably comfortable places for nearly all ponies are a good house and a good slice of nature."
"What happens when there's a pony who doesn't feel comfortable here?" asked Illesio.
Res nodded appreciatively, "Good question. We have a separate series of smaller rooms which we can personalize to fit any particular pony, but for most, we introduce them here."
"Clear Sight," he continued as he walked down the pathway, "figured out that the best way to go about the art of psychiatry is a mix of professionalism and fluidity. For example," he gestured to a small garden where two ponies were having a discussion, "ponies feel comfortable when they know they're seeing an expert, but combined with a more open experience and the assurance of environmental factors, it improves their experience."
Illesio noticed that even as they passed by, they couldn't hear the two ponies talking. "A silence spell?" she wondered.
"Absolutely." Res nodded again. "Privacy is important as well, especially in this field of medicine. All their problems are treated with the same secrecy as Celestia does the Canterlot Intelligence Agency."
"Wait, what?"
But Res had already moved on through a second door: "Now, I'd like you to meet some of Clear Sight's best employees here: Deep Thought and Clear Thought." He waved at the two ponies inside.
They were quite obviously biological twins, because although Deep Thought was a stallion and Clear Thought was a mare, they shared the same dark blue coat and white manes.
"Hello there," said Clear Thought in a clear voice, and looked at the two visitors in veiled amusement.
Deep Thought was busy, furiously writing numbers and equations on the wall, all with an air of...of devastatingly important purpose, like he was going for the answer to life itself. "...about seven million..." he muttered.
He noticed them finally, and started, waving to them amicably.
"Hello there," said Deep Thought in a deep voice, and looked at the two visitors in unveiled bewilderment.
"Hey Deep, hey Clear," responded Res. "This is Illesio, a journalist for...the Canterlot Journal, if I'm not mistaken? I'm taking her on a tour of the facilities for an article she was going to write."
Deep Thought stared. "That's nev-"
"-ertheless interesting," interrupted Clear Thought, "The entire building system is one of the most fascinating places I've ever seen, if I do say so myself. I'm extremely glad I work here."
She shot Deep a meaningful look, and slowly a light dawned in his eyes. "Oh, yes, absolutely," he said. "My favorite part of the place is the room directly behind this door...perhaps you'd like to spare a glance?"
"Yes please," said Illesio faintly: she was feeling like she was missing something. The entire day had been one strange occurrence after another, and she still didn't know what to make of it.
"But of course," said Res graciously: he was feeling like he wasn't missing anything. None of the subtle (or less so) attempts to hook him up with a girlfriend escaped his notice, and he knew, from the moment Clear Sight had the idea and given him the look, that he was in for something rather irritating.
"What's up?" said Clear Sight impeccably: he never missed anything but always felt like acting not to. "Going to see the MRI room?"
Res gave him a withering look, to which Clear Sight politely doffed his sunglasses.
"Why yes," said Clear Thought, "we were just about to. Would you like to explain it yourself this time?"
Clear Sight waved dismissively. "Nah, I've got some work to do. You're better at it than me anyway. See y'all around!" He disappeared out the door. He appeared back in. "I'll need Deep Thought though," he said, and un-re-appeared himself with Deep Thought in tow.
"In that case," said Clear Thought, "please, follow me."
They entered a small room full of metal machinery, where a large ring of carefully constructed metal and plastic hung above a small cot at the edge of the room. Surprisingly enough, there was a small Zen garden on one side of the room, and several tinted windows opened out onto a beautiful park.
Clear Thought said, "This is the MRI--or Magnetic Resonance Imaging--room. This machine we have here is a way of mapping out a pony's brain using the power of magnetism." She turned to Illesio. "You know about how bats echolocate, right?"
"Yes, I remember learning about that in grade school," Illesio said. "Does this use the same method, except...with magnetism?"
"Well, it's a little more nuanced than that, but essentially, we just throw a magnetic field around the person's head and see what bounces out." explained Clear Thought, making gestures to illustrate her point.
"No, no, no," she said, noticing Illesio's pained expression, "not in that sense, sorry. Bad choice of words. We measure what radio waves are emitted from inside the magnetic field. Radio waves pass through us all the time on their way to our devices, so rest assured: it's perfectly safe."
She smiled. "Would you like to see the inside of your own head?"
--
Clear Sight was up to par with his schedule for Saturday, but there was one last thing to do before he could definitively end it.
"Ah yes," he said, nodding thoughtfully to himself, "last on the list is to call up anyone who calls 'schedule' 'shed-jule' and yell at them for a minute." He turned to Deep Thought. "You mind helping me out? We got a sizable list here."
Deep Thought was up to his eardrums in bemused consternation.
--<1>-------On second thought, who really cares: what's going on literally anywhere else-------<4>--/
Rarity was having a lovely afternoon at the Carousel Boutique: customers were good, her new shipment of rare chartreuse topaz had just arrived, and she was working on a simply gorgeous dress, that, if she said so herself, would really even outdo, well, herself.
This was all accentuated by the fact that the ever-loyal Sassy Saddles had just called and sprung the news of an absolutely dazzlingly grand order from none other than Resolve Spirit himself. He was replacing his entire wardrobe and donating the first set to CSGT, for whatever they would decide to use them for.
Although Res had many great qualities, one of the best (in her humble opinion) was that he knew how to pay well. She would have been head over heels for him at one point, but life had taught her to be skeptical of good-looking ponies, a well-founded trait, as Res had shown absolutely no interest in any mare (or stallion, for that matter) in recorded history. He knew her quite well, but sadly, only as a business associate.
She sighed, and poked idly at her sewing machine. Well Rarity, no use crying over spilt milk, there's nothing you can do about it and you'll just have to deal with it.
She returned to her dress, and soon her spirits were lifted: she even forgot all about Resolve Spirit.
Suddenly the phone rang again, and she glanced carelessly up from her work and back down again.
She looked again.
She readjusted her glasses.
She looked again.
The number--the number was the private business hotline for ALPHA.
Unsteadily, she walked over to the phone, picked it up, and said, "Hello, this is Rarity at the Carousel Boutique. What ca--"
"Excuse me, but do YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS TO HEAR 'SHED-JULE?' JUST CALL THE WORD BY WHAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE CALLED BY! Please forgive me, Miss Rarity, Clear Sight force--"*click*
Rarity sat down.
But then again...she was used to this type of nonsense from the second of ALPHA's creators by now.
She sighed and went back to work.
-- --/ hey,,, that's pretty good Man I have a very vague idea where this is going Took me 2 hrs 30 min Cheers and good luck to all you psychotic cases
Author's Note
hopefully it will actually be pretty good, but no promises
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