A Novel Tradition

by locke_jaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1905

A group of friends wait through a credit roll to see the end credits of a comic book movie.

Like any other fan, this group of friends waited through an entire seven minute credit roll just to see the end credits of a comic book movie.

Published 2018-06-03 04:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-03 04:00:07 UTC

Rated T for Tedious

Nifty Scripts placed the empty tub of popcorn at the vacant seat beside him. He stretched his hooves upwards. The movie has just ended. The colourful spectacle on the large screen was now replaced with a black background, a long list of names started scrolling up in the middle.

“What a ride! Two hours long and the Weaver came home.”

He looked at his right to see Solid Score and his cousin, Spud Slicer. Slight sounds of cracking bones can be heard as the former tilted his head left and right. Spud, on the further side was sipping the remaining contents of his soda cup.

The three of them were seated at the back end of the theatre. Second to the last row to be more specific. They were the only ones sitting there now as the other moviegoers started to trot towards the exit.

“What do you think of the movie?” Nifty asked.

“It’s alright.” Solid answered. “I mean, they could’ve done better with the final fight scene though. But I’m not complaining, am I?”

“No, no, you’re right.” Nifty replied. “The fight does feel less tense, especially when you compare it to the first trilogy’s fight scenes. But still, it’s a pretty good addition to their cinematic universe. And like you, I’m not complaining, are we?”

Spud placed his now empty drink on his seat’s cup holder.

“How about the reboot?” He joined in. “They had some good sce-”

“Never mention the reboot!” With their voices in sync, Nifty and Solid interrupted him.

“Ever.” Solid added, poking a hoof threateningly at Spud’s chest.

Spud rolled his eyes. Getting up, he waved his hoof dismissively at Solid.

“Yeah, yeah. Remind me about that next time.”

Before he could exit the row, Solid stopped him.

“Dude, where are you going?”

“Uhh, getting out of the theatre?”

“Dude, not yet! We still have to watch the post credit scene!”

The young colt gave his cousin a confused look.

“Post credit scene? What’s that?”

It was now Solid’s turn to give Spud a confused look.

“Where you been, dude? Sit your flank down and let me explain it to you.”

Spud did as he was told and sat back on his seat. Before he began, Solid cleared his throat.

“Every ‘Novel’ movie, starting from the first one all those years ago has a bonus clip at the end of the credit roll. Most of these clips are taken from future feature films that are yet to be released, while others are just funny thirty second gags. But whatever it is they’d play at the end, you can bet that the fans would watch the heck out of it, because it has become a tradition, a nine year old tradition.”

“And as a way to pass the time,” Nifty said while focusing on the credit roll, as if he was looking for something. Spud turned his attention to him. “We read through all the names in the credits. And let me tell you, some of them can be really funny. Well, here’s one right now.”

Nifty pointed a hoof at the screen. “See that on the left side? Come on look at it, quick! It says, Scarlet Mcpooper.”

Solid’s ears perked up. “Where!?” He looked at where Nifty’s hoof was pointing and saw the name before it vanished at the top end of the silver screen.

He let out a hearty laugh. “That name sounds painful!”

“I want to see her cutie mark.” Spud added, earning a giggle from Nifty.

“Alright, here’s another one.” Nifty said while pointing a hoof at the screen again, but this time it was in the middle. “In the middle, it says, Rock Hard.”

“Whoa, for real?” Solid said as he once more looked to see where Nifty was pointing. He grinned upon finding it.

“With a name like that, why is he in the film industry? He could be somewhere else, working his rock...hard. Really hard!”

He poked Spud’s side with his elbow. “You get the gist?”

The younger colt nodded while laughing and snorting at the same time.

“Here comes another one.” Nifty said. “Lipps Gobsmacker. Okay, I’m done.” He then leaned back to his seat.

“Now, let me try.” Solid said as he focused his eyes on the list of names.

“Hmm. Basket Hound, Curl Weathers, Text Trusty. Hey I know that guy! Wow. I know somepony who works in this movie! Darn, I feel good. In fact, I feel gooder!” Like Nifty, Solid proceeded to lean back to his seat, both his hooves folded behind his head.

“Gooder? Don’t you mean better?” Nifty corrected.

“Nah, gooder sounds better.” Solid rested his hind legs at the back of the seat in front of him, completely forgetting that there’s still a pony sitting there.

“Hey!” The pony in front of him cried.

“Oops.” Solid quickly pulled his legs back. “Sorry!”

“So anyway,” He looked at Nifty. “Homey Bees later?”

Nifty’s nose scrunched upon hearing his proposal.

“Ehh...I was thinking Fryer’s Arch.”

“Dude, come on. We always go to Homey Bees.”

“That was before I switched sides. I go to Fryer’s now. They’ve got good atmosphere there, and better fries too. I really hate the Bees’ fries, they’re so tough that they taste like half-baked cassava.”

Solid’s ears twitched at Nifty’s ‘critique.’ He’s not taking this one lying down.

“At least the drinks are bigger at the Bees. Look at the regular sized cups the Fryer’s fill their sodas with, they look like tea cups! Hello! We’re drinking soda here not freaking tea!”

“The size of the drink is nothing if you can’t safely carry it to your table.” Nifty said in retaliation.

“Have you noticed how slippery their trays are? It’s as slippery as their floor that always has a ‘wet floor’ sign placed at the middle every time I go there!”

“Now you’re just nitpicking! If that’s how it is now then let me tell you that they don’t have ketchup dispensers there! They only give you two packets no matter how big your fries are! Is there a shortage in ketchup there or something? I wouldn’t be surprised if the one hoofing down the packets is a fat sickly pony with a stylized oxygen mask on saying, ‘don’t get addicted to ketchup!’”

“Oh yeah? Well, your burger...” Nifty paused, suddenly deep in thought.

“Your burger...”

“Your burg...”

“Huh.” Nifty placed a hoof beneath his chin.

“I can’t say anything bad about their hay burgers other than the fact that they’re similar in size, texture, and taste.”

“Odd. Me too.” Solid said in agreement. “They’re just the same really.”

“But still, Fryer’s is better.”

“No, Bees’ is.”

Nifty raised both of his hooves. “You know what? I opt for a tiebreaker, let’s go ask Spud.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

Spud paled upon hearing their compromise. He really doesn’t want to get involved here.

“Aw guys, please don’t rope me into this. I’m just fine wherever we go.”

“Come on Spud.” Solid said. “You gotta have an opinion.”

“In fact I do.” Spud immediately replied, a light bulb flashing over his head. He grabbed a bit from his saddlebag that was resting at the bottom of his chair.

“How about a coin flip? If it’s heads, we go to the Bees. And if it’s tails, we go to Fryer’s. How’s that sound?”

Nifty and Solid looked at each other and muttered in agreement. Solid looked back at his cousin and nodded his head, gesturing for him to flip the coin.

Spud tossed the bit upwards. It flew higher than he expected. But before the coin could propel itself down, Spud was hit with a sudden realization.

“Wait. How are going to see which side is facing upwards in this kind of lighting?”

“Dude, the bit!” Solid cried at Spud.

“Oh shoot!”

Spud attempted a last minute effort to catch the falling bit. But he was too late. The coin has now landed on the floor and was now rolling downwards to the seats below.

“My bit!” Spud cried as he got up of his seat to get his coin. But Solid quickly stopped him by putting a hoof on his chest while the other was pointing at the black screen turned white.

“Hold on.” Solid said. “It’s starting!”

At the right side of the screen, Captain Equestria appeared in a suit similar to what he wore on their first crossover movie about five years ago. He stopped when he reached the center of the screen. He stared at the remaining moviegoers at the theatre, a humble smile carved on his face.

“Hi, I’m Captain Equestria. Here to talk to you about one of the most valuable traits a soldier or student can have. Patience. Sometimes patience is the key to victory. Sometimes it leads to very little. It seems like it’s not worth it. And you wonder why you waited so long for something so disappointing.”

After reciting his speech, he took a deep breath. He stared at an off screen pony and grinned.

“How many more of these?”

The screen turned black once more. All the lights inside the theatre flickered on.

Solid pulled his hoof away from Spud and patted his back twice.

“Clip’s over. Go get ‘em tiger!”

And with that, Spud dashed towards the spot where he thought his coin had stopped, not minding the small crowd of ponies getting out of their seats and heading to the exit.

Solid looked at Nifty with a dumb smile plastered on his face.

“Ha! See what I did there!”

“I don’t want quotes taken from the previous movies!” Nifty replied while doing an impression of that angry newspaper editor that steals the scene every time he appeared onscreen in the first trilogy.

“I want pictures of-” He was interrupted when Solid tapped his shoulders several times.

“Dude, here he comes!”

Spud stood in front of his seat, bit in hoof. But that’s not the thing that piqued the interest of the two, but the giant red horseshoe mark on the colt’s face.

“Whoa, what happened?” Solid asked, his face wincing.

Spud plopped down on his seat and let out a long sigh. He stared at the ceiling while rubbing his swollen cheek gently.

“Coin stopped below a mare’s seat. She thinks I’m a creep, doing funny business to her. Then things get escalated quickly, and boom. This is the result.”

Solid felt a bit remorseful towards his cousin, he turned his head at Nifty to see if he’s feeling the same too. But the darned stallion was doing the opposite! He’s barely keeping himself from laughing! Heck, he would’ve have laughed too, but someone has to play sympathy part here.

“Okay.” Solid began. “You know what? As an apology, Nifty and I will let you pick the place. How’s that sound?”

“Really?”

“Really.”

---Several Minutes Later---

“Eat your noodles, dear. It’s getting cold.” Nifty said to Solid in a mock motherly tone, he was munching on a dumpling while reading the restaurant’s menu.

Solid rolled his eye in annoyance. “I am so not in the mood for eastern right now,”

“Oh suck it up.” Spud said. “It was your idea after all.”

“But it was your idea that led to my idea that led to this!”

“Hey, they serve soda in teacups here.”

“What!?”

Author's Note

You’re better off watching an actual credit roll...