Author's Note
I Just wanted to wright something. If you like it, please tell me how to make it better and let me know, so I'll keep writing more chapters. Sorry for the cringe. Also, Please Read this on Youtube. Thank you.
Sayonara Earth!
Boy is life strange. So many things people don't understand. I wish I could understand these things. Well reader, you probably know my name by now. If you don't, one; it's Jake Wood, two; go read the bio you lazy-pants! Anyways, lifting boxes is hard. "Dang," I manage to grunt out. "Why do boxes have to be so hard to carry?"
Almost as if she was the one writing this story, my mom says, "Because your sister did all of the smaller boxes. Not to mention the cleaning!"
"Alright! Geez..." I say in response. At least I have my hoodies with me. I think to myself. Please allow me to give you insight on my hoodies. Ever since the 3rd grade, I've had a love for hoodies. That's it. No more to it. Just that.
I always feel like I'm stronger with my hoodies on. It's strange, yes, but that's the way it is. It may seem pathetic to some, or maybe outright crazy to others, but it just is with me.
That night, I walk up to my room, and plop onto my bed. I let out a large *sigh* as I slowly close my eyes. Then I drift to sleep. Now reader, you might be thinking, "Oh ho ho! This is the part where our lovely hero Jake falls into a portal and goes to Equestria!" If you thought that, well good job! You guessed it! But if you didn't think the Oh ho ho part, then you are wrong! But in all serious-ness, yeah, this is that part.
I wake up in the middle of the night, disturbed by the tingling in my pants. " Not now old friend. Can we do it in the morning?" I whisper to myself. But with a mind of it's own, it pulls me out of bed, and heads strait for the toilet. Then I just stand there, and think, looking at the toilet.
" Well old bud," I say to my toilet as I pull down my pants. " This is the last time I'll be using you." I continue to pee, still looking at the now yellowing water. But to my surprise, it's not yellowing. No it's purple-blueing. What in the HECK IS HAPPENING? I think to myself. As if it too has a mind of its own, my hoodie seems to pull me in to the toilet. Oh right, I wore my hoodie to bed that night.
"Oh shoo," I try to say, before I fall into the toilet. But instead of having the sensation of wetness and frustration, I felt calm. But when I heard a *slosh* coming from behind me, All of me knew I was screwed.
What a great way to die. Being flushed down a purple-blue toilet by my hoody. Just great. Although I wasn't dead. I was simply being transported. I knew this because I had read many human in Equestria fanfics, and I knew a portal is how they got there. It kinda felt like a dream, kinda. The sensation got a little too much for me, and I blacked out.
I was laying down all of the sudden. On dirt, to my displeasure. I also felt grass, leaves, and twigs. I open my eyes to see a bright green forest setting all around me. No.I think to myself. "No," I blurt out. "No. No. No. No. No!" I say some more, and then top it off with a much louder, "NOOOOOOOO!"
Frustrated, I pull my pajama pants up and look around.
"Yep. I'm in FREAKING Equestria," I say to myself. I take a quick look around, and find a small bag lying on the ground next to me. I bend over and open the bag. It has my tennis shoes, some socks, and some jeans.
"Well that's strangely convenient." I say. I put them on, and start walking. After a few minutes, I stop and think. Wait, why was there a bag containing MY stuff in it? Meh, I shouldn't worry about it. Probably just something to get the readers to stop thinking of me in my pajama pants and no shoes. Thanks Sad_Boi. I think. I continue to walk until I hear a loud shriek.
"AHHH!"
What was that? Oh wait, this is a Human in Equestria fan-fic, it's the CMC getting attacked by timberwolves. Welp, better go save them. I thought. I start to run in the general direction of the scream. Feeling all heroic and stuff, I burst through the bushes and say, "Buzz off you stupid wolves! Super Jake is here!"
Just to let you know, DONT. DO. THAT. The timber-wolves just give me an acknowledging glance, then look back at the CMC, almost as to say, "Let's get him next." My heroic smile fades and is replaced with a disappointed look.
"Awe come on," I say. "You're just going to look at me? Really? At least send one of your buddies to hunt me down," I say some more. All three look at me once more and growl. The CMC take the small amount of time to flee the scene, which leaves the timber-wolves pretty pissed. They all start to walk towards me, and then I get into a fighting stance. But out of the blue, my red hoody starts to glow. All the timber-wolves look confused, so I say to them,
"Oh don't worry. It's just the whole mystery of the fan-fic starting up right now and making me all powerful and stuff." The timber-wolves seem to get understanding looks on their faces, and then pounce on me un-expectantly. I try to raise my hand up to block my-self from the attack, but end up accidentally hitting a timber-wolf so hard it flies above the trees and into the sky. Oh my god I'm turning into One Punch Man. I think to my-self. The rest of the timber-wolves look scared now, and they retreat back into the woods.
"Glowy hoody Jake one, timber-wolves zero." I say.
"I know what has to happen next," I say. "Chapter two: Meeting the freakin' locals."
