Laughter

Hi Mathilda! I’m back from the hospital. A timberwolf wanted to play with me after I gave Zecora her package. It was really friendly, but played too rough. I had to fly away and I hit some trees on my way out of the forest. I broke some bones that way. I’ll be okay, though. I’m glad for Goldy and her husband. They let Dinky stay with them the whole week I was in the hospital. They’ll still help with her until I can walk by myself. The doctors said it’ll only be a few weeks because I heal fast.

The post office fired me, though. They said it’s because that way I can have some bits to pay for things while I’m hurt. I guess that’s clever. I don’t think that’s why, though. They probably got tired of me damaging letters or giving them to the wrong ponies. I’ll have to watch the newspaper for a new job. I already found some pegasus movers who need more wings. That’s kind of like mail. I hope the job is still there when I’m better. Right now I have a lot of free time. I’m going to try to finish this entry today.

I got to sit down and have tea with Zecora after I gave her package to her. She makes really good tea. She said she isn’t from Atlantis, but I don’t know any other cities that fell in the ocean. But she’s not a sea pony or kelpie.

She’s called a zebra. I met her when I was a filly, after the crash. I was in the hospital. It had been months and I still couldn’t see more than a blob. I know it was her because I remember her voice. I don’t think she was allowed to be there, but she was there. She spoke gently and rhymey, just like she does now. She asked plainly, not like the other doctors, and I told her everything that hurt. It took a while because talking was hard. Then she told me to laugh. I was confused. I lost everything I ever wanted. I couldn’t understand how to laugh.

Then she told me about poison joke. Well, not completely. She didn’t say its name, or even her own. Not back then. She only told me to find blue leaves in the grass. Then she left. I didn’t understand, but I was curious. None of the doctors and nurses knew what she meant.

They let me out of the hospital when I could see again. I found the blue leaves when I looked for a few weeks. They were in the Everfree Forest. I wasn’t allowed to go there, but I couldn’t fly yet. I went wherever I could.

I didn’t know what to do with the poison joke, so I ate some. Nothing happened, and I went home. I got in a lot of trouble. I didn’t know the forest was dangerous, but my parents said it was. They were super scared and said they would ground me if I went there again. I said that my wings were already hurt and they laughed. I didn’t know why it was funny. I lost my temper and really did get grounded. I was sent to bed without supper. It’s funny. Other ponies stopped doing that when my grandparents were foals.

I woke up wrong in the morning. I wasn’t me. I wasn’t home.

I was Rainbow Dash, before I really knew Rainbow Dash. I was fast and strong. I was smart, but not as smart as before the crash. I was almost the pony I used to be. It was incredible! I still remember how it felt. I didn’t know what was happening, but I thought it was good. It wasn’t.

Even going to Rainbow’s kitchen for breakfast was weird. Her parents cheered for everything I did. I didn’t know what to do so I ate cereal and and hugged them. They asked who I was and what I did with Rainbow Dash. I said I was Derpy. They said I was the best derpy pony ever and told me to go to school.

So I did, but I flew to my school. I didn’t know where Rainbow’s was. The teacher was Miss Cheerilee. She said she was new. She didn’t know what to do, so she let me sit in. Class work was easy. I answered so many questions!

Then “Derpy” came in late. I don’t think she was Rainbow. She was super angry, like me. She bumped into all the desks and sulked in the back row like me. She ignored Cheerilee’s first few tries to call on her. She didn’t want to talk, which was lots like me. I poked her. She yelled at me the fourteenth time. She sounded ridiculous, and I laughed. We both got detention. After school, Cheerilee told us to stay in the school’s yard and left. She never said why, but it had to be important.

It turned out okay. We stayed at school like good fillies. I got bored and flew some tricks over the schoolhouse. Then “Derpy” got mad again and challenged me to a race. I laughed because she didn’t have a chance. I also laughed because she still sounded funny talking. But she kept saying I had to race her, so I agreed. We set it to three laps around the schoolyard. I didn’t want to leave when Miss Cheerilee said to stay.

I won, and “Derpy” crashed into the swing set. I don’t know how she did that. It was way off course and full of big gaps to fly through. We went inside for towels, and she started yelling at me. I laughed because of how funny she sounded. Then I tried to console her with a participation sticker. That just made her mad. Well, more mad. She started screaming and tried to hit me.

Then she started crying. I realized what I was doing and couldn’t laugh anymore. She said she was going home, but I stopped her. It wasn’t hard. I told her to tell me what was really wrong. She told me everything I thought I knew already. How hard everything was. How jealous she was. How much she had lost. So I told her the only thing I could think of.

“I’ll fly for you.”

We made up and Miss Cheerilee came back and sent us home. I was Rainbow Dash for the rest of the week. When I kept going to school in Ponyville, Rainbow’s parents called me the best school-chooser ever. That was nice, I guess. Miss Cheerilee scolded me a lot for not paying attention in class. Reading things or solving for x was boring and easy, though. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened.

After a week I woke up as me again. I asked Rainbow a few months ago. She said she remembered everything that happened. She said it like she was the one who did everything. Maybe she was. Magic plants are weird.

It really hurt to struggle with homework again. I started yelling at one of the bullies at school before she said anything. Then I stopped. I remembered how I sounded yelling and laughed. I laughed until she said I was weird and left me alone. I kept laughing until I cried. Then I cried until I couldn’t anymore. Then Miss Cheerilee stood over me and asked if I was okay. I said yes. She said recess was over and took me back inside the schoolhouse.