"Attention duelists, the duel between Trixie Lulamoon and Ryou Bakura is about to begin! Also, my hair is infinitely better than Bakura's!"

"You take that back!" Yami Bakura pointed at the hair guy, baring his teeth.

"Never! Admit it, my unique hairstyle is better than your generic, I-just-got-out-of-bed messiness!" the hair guy said. Yami Bakura started growling at him.

"Let's move on, shall we?" Pegasus asked rhetorically.

Trixie and Yami Bakura started the duel with 8,000 Life Points each.

"I hope you didn't have any plans for today, Trixie, because whoever loses this duel gets their soul sent to the Shadow Realm!" Yami Bakura laughed as shadows began to envelop the battlefield.

"Bakura, you know Shadow Games are against the rules, right?" Pegasus said as his Millennium Eye glowed gold.

"Ugh, fine!" The shadows around the field dissipated.

"That's better!" Pegasus's Millennium Eye stopped glowing. "Now, can we finally get on with this?"

"I'll go first!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I'll set two cards face-down, then I'll activate my Night Of The Living Dead spell card, allowing me to summon three undead or fiend-type monsters from my deck to the field! I think I'll summon the Headless Knight, Pharynx The Changeling Warrior, and Chrysalis The Changeling Queen, all in attack mode!"

On Yami Bakura's right side, a suit of full-mail armor shimmered into being, conspicuously lacking a head, but wielding a massive sword and 1,450 Attack Points. Next to the headless knight, Chrysalis also shimmered into being on the field, Pharynx next to her, with 3,800 and 2,500 Attack Points respectively.

"Wait a minute!" Trixie said. "Did you just summon a bunch of-"

"Yes, I summoned a bunch of monsters in one turn. How very observant of you," Yami Bakura said annoyedly.

"I was just wondering, is all," Trixie said.

"Well wonder no more!" Yami Bakura said. "You know, in this situation, I think it'd be a crime not to sing 'Thriller' right about now,"

"Bakura, that song's copyrighted!" Pegasus interjected.

"Screw it, I'm singing! You can't stop the music, Pegasus!" Yami Bakura said.

Pegasus turned to the hair guy next to him. "Kemo, ready the censorship bleeps,"

"Yes, Mr. Pegasus sir," the hair guy said.

Because literature is a rather inconvenient format to put songs in, just imagine a dolphin chirping to the tune of the chorus of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' as Yami Bakura moved his mouth.

"Are you quite done?" Trixie asked.

"Huh? Oh, yes, I end my turn!" Yami Bakura said.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie shall take her turn now!" Trixie drew a card. "First, I'll play my Mystical Space Typhoon, to destroy one of your face-down cards!"

"Not so fast!" Yami Bakura flipped the face-down card on his left. "I activate my Continuous Trap, the Book Of The White! This card prevents you from destroying any of my spell or trap cards or negate their effects for as long as it's on the field! And the best part? It can only be removed from the field by a duelist who can read Greek!" Yami Bakura howled with laughter as Trixie clutched the sides of her head.

"Kids these days and their overpowered cards that reference other fictional works. Back in my day, spirits were brave, the stakes were high, cards were real cards, men were real men, and giant Ancient Egyptian dragons were real giant Ancient Egyptian dragons!" Sugoroku ranted.

"Nyeh, nobody wants to hear you rant about today's youth," Joey chastised.

"But I love ranting about today's youth!" Sugoroku protested.

"Then I'll summon my Shieldmaiden Caster in defense position!" Trixie said.

In front of Trixie, a woman with long blonde hair and donned in a flowing, lavender robe that dragged against the ground and with sleeves that ran past her hands rose to the field with 1,200 Defense Points

"I end my turn!" Trixie declared.

"It's my turn! I draw!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I really don't see how that's supposed to be a shield maiden, honestly. I mean, come on, twelve hundred defense points?! Are you insulting me?"

Trixie smirked. "Oh you'll see soon enough why she's called a shield maiden, Bakura."

"I doubt it," Yami Bakura extended his hand. "Now, Headless Knight, attack Trixie's Shieldmaiden!"

Headless Knight ran up to Shieldmaiden Caster and slashed diagonally with his sword, leaving Shieldmaiden Caster to shatter.

"Now that Shieldmaiden Caster's in the graveyard, her effect activates!" Trixie said. "Now I can special summon three Invisible Walls from my deck in defense position!"

The field remained identical, but now three invisible walls with 4,000 Defense Points each protected Trixie's Life Points.

Yami Bakura groaned in irritation. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," Trixie's smirk grew even more smug. "I told you you'd find out why she's a shield maiden."

"I guess this is a perfect time to activate my trap card, Destiny Board!" Yami Bakura flipped over his face-down card. above Yami Bakura's head, a ouija board engulfed in blue flame sparked into being, its glass planchette fixated on the letter 'D'. "If this card is not removed from the field within five turns, it will spell out the word 'death', and victory shall be mine! And with Book Of The White on the field, it can't be removed! Thus ends my turn!"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie shall take her turn now!" Trixie drew a card. "Hmm..."

"Got nothing in your hand, eh?" Yami Bakura inquired.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie always has a trick up her sleeve!" Trixie answered. "But yeah, I end my turn."

"It's my turn! I draw!" Yami Bakura drew a card, and the ouija board's planchette moved to the letter 'E', and with it another skull holding said letter 'E' came into existence. "I play the field spell Ruins Of Canterlot, raising all changeling monsters' Attack Points by 300!"

Yami Bakura's side of the field transformed into a crumbling city, where the remains of shops and abandoned carriages dot the landscape and clouds of dust billow in the wind. Pharynx now had 2,800 Attack Points and Chrysalis had 4,100.

"Pulling cards out of our ass, are we?" Pegasus asked. "Classy, Bakura."

"Now I'll attack one of your Invisible Walls with Queen Chrysalis!" Yami Bakura pointed at Trixie. "Chrysalis, attack now!"

Queen Chrysalis stepped forward and shot a powerful bolt of black and green lightning at the central Invisible Wall, shattering it.

"That ends my turn," Yami Bakura said.

"I...concede," Trixie hung her head in shame.

"Concede?! Whatever could you mean by that?" Yami Bakura asked.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie gives up. You win, Bakura," Trixie turned around and walked off.

"And the winner of this duel is Ryou Bakura!" Pegasus announced.

Yami Bakura placed his hands on his hips and chuckled. "You know, it's times like these I wish I had that button that says 'That was easy.',"

"What the hell did I just watch?" Yugi stared at the dueling field with a puzzled look on his face.

"Nyeh, I couldn't begin to tell ya' Yug'. Just duelists bein' weird, I guess." Joey shrugged.

Yami Bakura took his seat next to Marik on the bleachers.

"Kemo's right, you know. His insane hair spike is more stylish than your bed head," Marik said.

"Oh get stuffed, Marik!" Yami Bakura replied.

"I'm just saying," Marik held his hands up in front of his face.

Author's Note

Marik: And now for a little improv comedy.

Bakura: Marik, I never agreed to do this, why did you drag me onstage?

Marik: Shut up, Fluffy! We need to make this look good for the audience!

Bakura: Oh yes, we're going to entertain them with the author's notes. What a spiffing idea.

Marik: Hey, don't roll your eyes at me!

Bakura: Here's a better idea, why doesn't the writer come up with better duels?

Marik: He says they're coming in the next round of the tournament. He also says to stop breaking the fourth wall because its tacky.

Bakura: Well, I guess that's the end of our bit, then. Cheerio!

Marik: Wait, Bakura, come back! Uhhh...so what's the deal with airline food, am I right? Heh heh heh...ehh screw this, I'm out of here.