"Attention duelists, the duel between Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler will begin in five minutes! I repeat, the duel between Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler will begin in five minutes!"

Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler stood ready, Joey looking confident, pehaps overly so, and Kaiba with an indignant scowl on his face as crowds that filled the bleachers looked on. Yugi, his friends, and the Rainbooms save Rarity watched on with eager anticipation.

"Just my luck, Dorkfest continues," Kaiba said.

"Looks like this is the end of the line for ya, Kaiba!" Joey remarked. "'Cause I'm taking ya down right here, right now!"

"Please, Wheeler, I can kick your ass six ways to Sunday blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back. What makes you think you have a chance?" Kaiba boasted.

"Well, ya see, I've got the Heart of the Cards on my side and-"

"Oh yes, the Heart of the Cards," Kaiba interrupted. "I suppose next you're going to harp on about the power of friendship and how it's stronger than any other force in the universe and blah blah blah. But what did I really expect from a chronic loser like you?" Joey was getting very annoyed by this point.

"Is he always like this?" Twilight asked.

"Pretty much, yes," Yugi answered.

That Kaiba kid really needs to get laid, Sugoroku said.

"Big time," Yugi nodded at his coat pocket.

"Why are we even watching this? These duels show no class whatsoever," Rarity complained. "They're just two people screaming at each other until one of them loses. If I wanted to watch that, I'd go back to working at retail."

"Rarity, come on, we're supporting our friends here. Even if we did meet them only two days ago," Applejack said.

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Also, come on, it's fun! Nothing wrong with a bit of fun, is there?"

"I'm always down for some fun! Whoo, go Joey! You can do this!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Yeah, come on Joey! He stole my deck and he shall pay for it!" Sunset added.

"Ya see, Kaiba? With my friends cheering for me, I can do anything! Even beat you in a card game!" Joey boasted confidently.

"I'm sure you won't be saying that when my Blue-Eyes White Dragons eat you for lunch, Wheeler, because it's time to duel!" Kaiba shuffled his deck.

"Well jeez, ya didn't need to be so graphic there, Kaiba!" Joey also shuffled his deck.

"Yes I did!" Kaiba set his deck down.

"Attention duelists! The duel between Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler is about to begin!"

"The first move shall be decided with a coin flip!" Pegasus pulled a coin from his pants pocket.

"That's a first," Kaiba snarked.

"Hush now, Kaiba boy," Pegasus said. "Now, each duelist make your bets!"

"I'm betting on heads, because I'm always ahead of the game!" Joey looked to the bleachers for validation for his joke, but there was none to be found. The gymnasium was so silent that, were there crickets, you could've heard them chirping.

"Wheeler..."

"Yeah, that joke was...very bad," Pegasus said.

"Then I guess I'm betting on tails, because once I'm through with you, Wheeler, I'm going to throw you through the tail end of a jet engine!" Kaiba threatened.

Pegasus threw his coin into the air and slapped it onto his palm. "It's tails, so Kaiba boy goes first!"

Each duelist drew their first five cards and started off with their standard 8,000 Life Points.

"I'll go first!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I'll place one card face down, then I'll summon the mighty Bulk Biceps in attack position!"

An extremely muscular white pegasus with tiny wings appeared on the field, flexing his muscles. He had 2,500 Attack Points.

"And thus ends my turn," Kaiba said.

"It's my turn!" Joey drew a card. "Get a load of this, Kaiba! I'll set one card face down, then I'll summon Babs Seed in attack position!"

Babs Seed appeared on the field, at first looking confident, but then quickly becoming cowed by her massive opposition. She had 1,500 Attack Points.

"Summoning a monster with fewer Attack Points to fight me with?" Kaiba smirked. "Extremely bold strategy, Wheeler."

"I'm just getting started. Next I'll activate my Continuous Spell, Brooklyn Rage!" Joey declared.

"Brooklyn what now?" Kaiba asked, confusedly.

"Brooklyn Rage is a spell card that doubles the Attack Points of every New York monster on the field," Joey explained as steam began to fly out of Babs Seed's ears and her Attack Points climbed to 3,000. "Looks like you're out of luck, Kaiba. Babs Seed, attack!"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Kaiba flipped over his face down card. "You've activated my trap card, Waboku! This card negates all battle damage and destruction for one turn!"

"Nyehh...guess my turn's over then," Joey conceded.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I'll activate my Pot of Greed magic card! It allows me to-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it allows you to draw two cards. Get on with it already," Joey interrupted.

Kaiba drew two cards. "I honestly didn't expect you to know what that card did. After all, Wheeler, you couldn't even out-duel a bag of rocks. Now I'll sacrifice Bulk Biceps in order to tribute summon the ultimate monster to the field!" the gymnasium lights dimmed slightly, and some purple clouds began to swirl around the dueling field. "Come forth, King Sombra!"

Bulk Biceps was consumed by a cloud of darkness before he even knew what hit him. From this cloud, King Sombra trotted forth, a shark-toothed grin on his face, extreme malice in his red eyes, and two Crystal Ponies at his side.

"There he is! There's King Sombra!" Twilight pointed out.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Sunset Shimmer snarked.

"Now, King Sombra, annihilate Joey's monster!" Kaiba commanded.

"Hold up!" Joey flipped over his face-down card. "You've activated my trap card, Skull Dice! Whatever I roll on this die, your monster's Attack Points get divided by that number."

A tiny fairy-like creature with no facial features, save for two black dots that are allegedly its eyes, and clad in a pink top hat appeared floating in front of Joey holding a massive red die. It dropped the red die onto the floor of the dueling field, landing on a two, causing Sombra's Attack Points to plummet to 2,500.

"Wait, no!" Sombra fired a bolt of black and purple lightning at Babs Seed, causing her to stagger back a bit, but nothing else. Babs Seed then pawed at the ground and charged Sombra, punching him in the side of the head with her hoof with a fury only a Manehattanite could muster. King Sombra shattered and Kaiba's Life Points went down to 7,500.

"Now what were ya saying about me dueling worse than a bag of rocks?" Joey asked smugly.

Kaiba pounded his fist and grunted in annoyance. "I end my turn," he said.

"Everything's coming up Joey today. It's my turn!" Joey drew a card. "Now I'll summon Coco Pommel in attack position!"

Coco Pommel appeared on the field, trying to hide from the crowds looking on.

"And due to Brooklyn Rage, her attack points get doubled!"

Coco Pommel suddenly became very angry, with steam firing out of her ears, as her Attack Points climbed to 3,000.

"Take this!" Joey pointed at Kaiba. "Babs Seed, Coco Pommel, attack Kaiba's Life Points directly!"

Babs Seed and Coco Pommel carried their orders out with great enthusiasm, charging Kaiba and lowering his Life Points to 1,500.

"Nyeh heh heh, I end my turn. Let's see what you have up your sleeve, Kaiba," Joey crossed his arms confidently.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I play Monster Reborn, calling King Sombra back to the field in attack mode!"

Another swirling cloud of darkness appeared on the field, and out trotted King Sombra, shark-toothed grin, two Crystal Ponies, and all, back onto the field with 5,000 Attack Points.

"Next I'll play my two Twinkle Wish spell cards, summoning two Blue-Eyes White Dragons to the field!"

With silhouettes of pure white light, two Blue-Eyes White Dragons rose up on either side of King Sombra, with 3,000 Attack Points each.

"Listen closely, Wheeler, because here comes the best part. Now I activate Polymerization in order to summon the monster that shall cause your ultimate defeat! Come forth, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

Kaiba's Blue-Eyes' began to glow white, transforming into a much larger monster. By the time the light faded, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon, with all of her three heads and 4,500 Attack Points, hovered just beside Sombra.

Kaiba laughed maniacally, somewhat drunk on power. "Now, wipe Joey's monsters off the field!"

Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon fire beams of white lightning from her three maws directly at Babs Seed, overwhelming her and causing her to shatter. King Sombra then fired a bolt of black and purple lightning at Coco Pommel, with a similar result. Joey's Life Points dropped to 4,500.

"No! This can't be happening!" Sunset Shimmer shouted.

"But it is happening, you're watching it right now," Rainbow Dash pointed out.

Kaiba laughed again. "And thus ends another flawless turn."

I don't exactly like my odds, Joey thought. But if I could just draw something good here... "It's my turn!" Joey drew a card. Heh heh, perfect! "I play my Time Wizard in attack position!"

A goofy looking anthropomorphic clock, with giant googly eyes, a massive scepter with a clock on the end, and clad in a stage magician's cape appeared on the field. It only had 500 Attack Points.

"Now I'll activate Time Wizard's effect! Go, Time Roulette!"

Above Time Wizard, there popped into existence a giant spinner divided into six pieces, three with a skull on them and three with what seemed to be a hand giving the thumbs up. The spinner spun and spun and...it landed on thumbs up! Time Wizard pointed his clock scepter at Kaiba's monsters, with its hands spinning like time was accelerating. King Sombra and Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon promptly shattered there and then.

"No!" Kaiba staggered backwards, eyes widened in shock.

"Oh yes, Kaiba! Now, Time Wizard, attack his Life Points directly!" Joey commanded.

Time Wizard fired a beam of light from his clock scepter, lowering Kaiba's Life Points to 1,000.

"I end my turn. You're up to bat, Kaiba," Joey said.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card, then smirked confidently. "I activate my third Twinkle Wish card, returning Monster Reborn from my Graveyard back into my hand!"

"Oh no..." Joey knew what was in stock for him.

"And now, for the grand finale, here comes King Sombra!"

Yet another cloud of swirling darkness appeared on the field. King Sombra, with his two Crystal Ponies, his shark-toothed grin, you know, the works, appeared on the field with 5,000 Attack Points.

Kaiba pointed in Joey's direction. "Now, attack Joey's Time Wizard and finish this!"

King Sombra fired a black and purple bolt of lightning at Joey's Time Wizard, shattering it near instantaneously and sending Joey flying. Joey landed on his butt about five feet away from the dueling field, smoking lightly as he lay defeated.

"Joey!" Yugi called out.

"And the winner of this duel is Seto Kaiba! Congratulations, Kaiba boy," Pegasus congratulated.

Kaiba laughed triumphantly. "Oh, it feels good to be the main antagonist again!"

"Oh, we'll see about that, Kaiba," Yami Bakura rose from the bleachers to take his place in the next duel.

Author's Note

Marik: And now an exclusive interview with the man himself, Seto Kaiba!

Kaiba: Marik, how the hell did you get in my hotel room?

Marik: The Millennium Rod makes a surprisingly good lockpick.

Kaiba: But the locks are all electronic.

Marik: Oh...yes well, uhh...a wizard did it!

Kaiba: Oh, I see.

Marik: Anyways, you won that card game against Joey Wheeler. Congratulations!

Kaiba: Could've done it in my sleep...

Marik: What are your strategies for the rest of the tournament, if you don't mind me asking?

Kaiba: I'm going to use the same strategy I've employed since the day I was born. Win. I'm going to win, and then win, and then screw the rules a bit, and then win some more. Now get the hell out of my room, you're getting in the way of my winning.

Marik: But you're just sitting on the bed watching Rescue at Midnight Castle...

Kaiba: I said get out!