"Attention duelists! My hair is informing you that its voice can't keep doing this! My hair also needs a glass of water!"

"Oh, that's quite alright, Kemo, I've got this," Pegasus snatched the microphone from Kemo's hand. "Welcome welcome all the duelists of the Losers' Bracket! Sorry Yugi, but it's true," Yugi scowled a bit at that. "Our next duel will be between the esteemed world champion Yugi Moto and uhh...some girl named Vinyl Scratch. Anyways, I'm sure it will be extremely entertaining in about five minutes or so."

Vinyl Scratch rose from her seat and began to stroll over to the field in the center of the gymnasium where Yugi stood, face still as stone. "Have fun!" Octavia called after her.

Yugi glanced down at his Millennium Puzzle. "Alright, Pharaoh, it's showtime!"

Wait, Yugi, hold on, Yami's incorporeal form appeared to Yugi's right. If I know anything about anything, Marik's going to win the next duel and face us in the semifinals. I'm going to need to save all of my energy for that climactic duel.

"Save your energy? For a card game?" Yugi asked incredulously.

Well yes, card games take an extreme toll on you, Yami replied. How else do you think I got these magnificent abs?

"Magic," Yugi answered.

Eh, fair enough, Yami said.

Yugi noticed that Vinyl Scratch was staring at him. "Sorry," he began. "It's just that the Pharaoh is...ah never mind," Vinyl Scratch simply responded with a cute little smile.

"Attention duelists!" the mullet guy began. "My mullet is informing you that the duel between Yugi Moto and Vinyl Scratch is about to begin!"

Each duelist started with 8,000 Life Points, as was in the rules at this point.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "First I'll summon my Big Shield Gardna in defense position!"

Big Shield Gardna, a big burly man crouched in front of his massive shield about half as tall as he was, appeared on the field with 2,600 Defense Points.

"And thus ends my turn," Yugi said.

"There you go, Yug! There's showing her some skill!" Joey cheered.

"Yeah, you can do this, Yugi! King of Games! King of Games!" Pinkie added.

"He literally just summoned a monster in defense position," Sunset said.

"Yeah, and that takes skill. I remember when I didn't remember how to do that, and Kaiba kicked my ass," Joey said.

Vinyl Scratch said nothing, just drew her card and started playing from her hand. She set a card face down, then played her first monster card, and on her side of the field, there appeared a monster that looked like a giant boombox with googly eyes with 3,000 Attack Points. She then searched through her deck for two more cards,, shuffled her deck, then placed her new monsters next to her boombox monster. They were a purple fourth note and a green eighth note, both with googly eyes and 2,000 Attack Points. Vinyl extended her arm and her boombox monster charged Yugi's Big Shield Gardna, cracking its shield and shattering it into shards of light. Her note monsters then advanced and pummeled Yugi's dueling platform, lowering his Life Points to 4,000 as he recoiled like duelists do. Vinyl gestured towards Yugi, signaling the end of her turn.

"Hey, what gives? Why is this girl not speaking?" Joey asked.

"So it is customary for duelists to scream at each other?" Rarity asked.

"Well yeah. How else would they know what they're doing, silly?" Pinkie responded.

Yami's incorporeal form appeared next to Yugi. Um, Yugi, why isn't she speaking? All of the other duelists we've seen call out their moves like they're in a shonen anime.

"I don't know, but that's going to make this duel a lot less entertaining," Yugi replied.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "I place one card face down, and then play the spell card Field Of Magic, allowing me to discard one card and summon one spellcaster from my deck!" Yugi discarded a card and searched his deck for the perfect card. "And now I summon Princess Celestia in attack position!"

Princess Celestia shimmered onto the field, pawing at the ground with 3,500 Attack Points.

Yugi extended his arm towards Vinyl Scratch. "Now, Celestia, attack Vinyl's boombox...thing!"

From Celestia's horn shot a powerful shining blast of magic, instantly destroying Vinyl's boombox and lowering her Life Points to 7,500.

"Your move," Yugi crossed his arms.

Vinyl drew her card. She then put a card onto the field. When she did so, her two note monsters shined white and were transported to the Graveyard, and in their place rose a larger blue rest note, also with googly eyes as well as 3,600 Attack Points. She ordered it to attack, but then Yugi flipped over his face down card.

"I activate my trap card, Negate Attack!" Yugi shouted.

Vinyl shrugged this off and gestured toward Yugi, ending her turn.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "I play my magic card Pot Of Greed, allowing me to draw two more cards!" Yugi drew two more cards. Rrgh, her monster's just too strong. What am I going to do? he thought.

Hey, Yugi, can we eat some pizza after this duel? Yami asked.

"Not now, Pharaoh, I'm trying to think," Yugi responded.

Oh, you do that too, Yami said. Well I know what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about a nice steaming hot pepperoni pizza with double cheese and bacon. Mmmm...

"Dammit Pharaoh, now you've gotten me hungry!" Yugi shouted, as he realized something in his hand he could use. "I play the magic card Spellbook Search, allowing me to search for one magic card to add to my hand!" Yugi searched for the card he wanted in his deck and shuffled. "Now I play the magic card..." he flipped over the card to show Vinyl dramatically. "...Raigeki!"

A storm cloud gathered over Vinyl's rest note monster, striking it with a mighty blast of lightning and leaving nothing but a charred spot on the field where it once stood.

"Now I'll summon Princess Luna in attack position!" Yugi declared.

Princess Luna appeared to arrive next to her sister Celestia on a chariot of stars, with nothing piloting it at all. The stars faded away, and Luna was left with her 3,500 Attack Points.

"Now, attack!" Yugi commanded, arm outstretched.

The two alicorn princesses shot powerful colliding beams of magic from their horns, blasting Vinyl off her feet and leaving her with only 500 Life Points to her name.

"Your move, Vinyl," Yugi said.

Suddenly, Yugi heard a sound like an old man moaning coming from his coat pocket. Yugi...what are you doing? Are you making out with your girlfriend?

"Grandpa!" Yugi blushed uncontrollably. "Not every action I undertake involves making out!"

It's a shame, Sugoroku said. I want you to get married sometime this century.

As this was happening, Vinyl Scratch drew her card and set a monster face down in defense position. She gestured to Yugi, signalling that her turn was over.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "I attack your face down card with Princess Celestia!" Celestia fired another beam, as brilliant as a beam of sunlight, and Vinyl's face down card was revealed as a pink sixteenth note with 2,300 Defense Points, which shattered under the sheer power of Celestia's alicorn magic.

"Now I attack you directly with Princess Luna!" Yugi declared.

Princess Luna fired a sparkly beam of magic that looked to be made of pure nighttime. Vinyl shielded her face from the dueling field's wind systems as the alicorn magic blasted her Life Points into oblivion.

"Game, set, and match," Yugi crossed his arms triumphantly.

"And the winner of this match is the ever victorious Yugi Moto! Congratulations Yugi-boy!" Pegasus congratulated.

"All right! I knew you could do it, Yug!" Joey shouted.

"King of Games! King of Games!" Pinkie cheered.

And so Yugi wins again. Surprise surprise... Marik thought to himself. The good news is that, with my Egyptian God card, I should be unstoppable. Key word being should...

Author's Note

Even after all this time, I still have no idea why I was rejected for this fanfiction. It's even set in the United States! The author is clearly very un-American. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that after Duelist Kingdom I was technically dead, but everyone knows that death can't keep an American down for long. Which is why I'm starting a petition to get me onto this fanfiction, even if only for a cameo. Now excuse me while I go eat some hamburgers and squeeze off a couple rounds at the firing range...in America!

I'm Bandit Keith, and I approve this message.