Duelists Of All Worlds

by DmitriTheWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Yu-Gi-Oh, Equestria Girls, King Sombra, Main 7 (EqG), Profanity, Random, Principal Celestia, Crossover, Human, Thriller, Dazzlings
Length: 29809

Maximillion Pegasus holds a tournament at Canterlot High to study the Equestrian cards, but having that much magic in one place can be dangerous.

Maximillion Pegasus invites all of the world's best duelists and more to his newest Duel Monsters tournament, held at Canterlot High. Having all of the best duelists in one place will make it easier for Pegasus to study these new Equestrian cards. But some of these cards have a will of their own, and are not content in their current state.

Published 2018-06-11 23:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-11-06 04:15:33 UTC

Chapter 1: The Invitations

In the highest floor of the KaibaCorp building in Domino City, Seto Kaiba sat in his computer chair, playing solitaire on his computer. He probably should've been at school, but he was too rich for that, so half the time he skipped class and played games instead. Kaiba was about to win and start a new solitaire game when his Skype began to ring. He was being called by someone with the username 'Maximillion Pegasus'. Oh boy.

Kaiba answered the call. "What do you want? I'm busy right now,"

"Hello there, Kaiba boy. I just wanted to have a little chat," Pegasus said.

"If you're calling me, then you must want something. What is it?" Kaiba said.

"I just called to formally invite you to my newest Duel Monsters tournament, 'Duelists Of All Worlds', being held at Canterlot City," Pegasus said.

"Canterlot? Isn't that the place where everyone has crazy skin and hair colors?" Kaiba asked.

"Why, yes it is. That's why I like it so much, I fit right in," Pegasus said.

"Look, if this is another ploy to steal the Millennium Items, then let me be the one to remind you about Duelist Kingdom and how well that turned out," Kaiba said,

"I'm not after the Millennium Items this time, Kaiba boy. I'm looking for the Equestrian cards," Pegasus said.

"How do you know about that?!" Kaiba asked.

"I've been watching you duel Yugi, and your cards seem very powerful indeed," Pegasus said.

"Wait, you've been watching me duel Yugi?" Kaiba asked.

"Precisely. I have cameras installed in all of your holographic arenas, so I can watch you anytime I want," Pegasus said.

That's creepy. How did that slip past us?, Kaiba thought.

"So how about it, Kaiba boy?" Pegasus asked.

"I'll join your tournament, but only because I'm a multi-billionaire with nothing better to do," Kaiba said. "Besides, if you hope to steal them from me in a duel or something, then you've got another thing coming,"

"Of course, Kaiba boy. I was hoping you'd be this agreeable. I can't wait to see you there," Pegasus said.

"I use Rainbow Dash to attack your Life Points directly!" Yugi said.

Joey's Life Points went down to 0. He still couldn't believe that a Level 4 Monster could have 2,500 Attack Points, and that any monster card could be this cute.

"Guess I lose again," Joey grumbled. "Say, Yug, where did you get these cards anyways?"

"I don't know, they just appeared in my deck after a few duels with Kaiba," Yugi replied. "I don't really mind, because they're just so powerful,"

"And utterly adorable," Tea added.

"Yes, and adorable," Yugi said.

Suddenly, a man wearing a nice black suit, sunglasses, and a ridiculous hairstyle wherein his brown hair is spiked up heavily at the front walked into the game shop Yugi and his friends were playing in. "Attention duelists! My hair has a letter addressed to one Yugi Moto," he said.

"I'm one Yugi Moto," Yugi said as he grabbed the letter from the man's hand. The man then left the game shop.

"Who's that letter from, Yug?" Joey asked.

"It's from Pegasus!" Yugi said as he opened the letter. It said:

Dear Yugi Moto,

I write this letter to you to formally invite you to my newest Duel Monsters tournament, 'Duelists Of All Worlds'. It shall be held in the city of Canterlot in the U.S.A. on June 21. The structure of the tournament will be further explained on that date. I have travel expenses covered for four people, first-class of course, should you choose to accept and want to bring your friends along. Should you choose to decline, well, I have other ways of convincing people.

Kind Regards,

Maximillion Pegasus

"So he wants you to enter his tournament," Joey said.

"I don't really think I should enter. This sounds like a trap," Yugi said.

"Aw, come on, Yug!" Joey said. "Four free first-class plane tickets to Canterlot! I don't even know where that is, but who would pass that up?"

"Besides, Pegasus knows how good a duelist you are," Tea added. "With your new pony cards, he wouldn't stand a chance against you and he knows it,"

"And you're a main character, therefore you're invincible," Tristan added.

"Maybe, but..."

"Come on, Yug! It'll be fine," Joey said.

"Well, if you guys think so..." Yugi said. He turned towards the sales counter. "Bye, Grandpa! We're going to a random card game tournament with no adult supervision whatsoever!"

"Typical..." Yugi's grandpa said.

Yugi and his friends walked out of the game shop, and the same man who delivered the letter was waiting for them outside of a limousine. "Attention duelists! My hair was waiting outside to drive you to the airport!"

"Well ain't this awfully convenient," Joey said.

And so Yugi and his friends were driven to the airport. It was not a very eventful drive, nor was it a very eventful flight.

Bakura was walking down the street, when suddenly he heard a rather effeminate voice in his head. "Hello there, Bakura,"

"Pegasus? How are you talking in my mind right now?" Bakura asked the voice.

"I'm Maximillion Pegasus, I can do whatever I want," Pegasus replied.

"Didn't Kaiba say that first?" Bakura asked.

"Oh never mind Kaiba boy," Pegasus said. "Anyways, how would you like to join my newest Duel Monsters tournament, 'Duelists Of All Worlds'?"

"That sounds spiffing, Pegasus," Bakura said. "One question, though, where exactly is it?"

"It's taking place in the absolutely wonderful city of Canterlot," Pegasus said.

"Excuse me, what?" Bakura said.

"Oh you heard me, Bakura. Canterlot, the most magical city on Earth," Pegasus said.

"Okay then. And how exactly am I going to get there?" Bakura asked.

"If you wait by the sandwich shop, one of my employees should come and pick you up. From there he'll drive you to the airport," Pegasus said.

"Okay then. See you there I guess,"

Bakura waited by the sandwich shop for ten minutes before another limousine drove by, being driven by a man functionally identical to the one who picked up Yugi and his friends, crazy hair and all. "Attention duelists! My hair is also picking you up and dropping you off at the airport!"

"Uh, sir, I'm only one duelist," Bakura said.

"Attention duelists! My hair doesn't care!" the man replied.

So Bakura was also driven to the airport. His journey was also uneventful.

Author's Note

So what do you think?

Chapter 2: Canterlot Madness

Principal Celestia was doing paperwork in her office. It was 1:15 P.M, and the students of Canterlot High were in their fifth period classes, so nobody should've bothered her. Then a man with silver hair covering the left side of his face barged in, accompanied by two men in nice suits and sunglasses. The silver-haired man was wearing red pants with a red button-up coat, and the two men beside him both had ridiculous hairstyles. The man on Pegasus's right had his hair heavily spiked up at the front, while the man on Pegasus's left had an outrageous mullet.

"Attention duelists!" the spiky-haired man said. "Our hair would like to introduce you to our boss, Maximillion Pegasus,"

"Greetings, Principal Celestia," Pegasus said. "I am Maximillion Pegasus, owner and founder of Industrial Illusions,"

"How did you know my name? I haven't even introduced myself," Celestia said.

"I have my ways," Pegasus said. "Anyways, I'm here to set up my Duel Monsters tournament, 'Duelists Of All Worlds', right here at Canterlot High. Isn't that splendid?"

"That sounds great, but we've already set up our own event, 'Battle Of The Bands'," Celestia said. "Students compete to see which group of them makes the best song,"

"Who would want to watch that? Everyone knows card games are more entertaining than high school bands," Pegasus said.

Suddenly, the door flew open again, and Seto Kaiba leaned on the door's frame, suitcase in hand. "I would've suggested doing card games on motorcycles, but everyone I talk to says that's too dangerous and that I'm crazy. What amateurs,"

"Kaiba boy, even you know that's ridiculous," Pegasus said.

"Why does everyone like slamming my door open?" Celestia asked.

"Actually, I didn't open it. I just looked at it and it flew open. I'm Seto Kaiba, I can do that,"

"Right. Anyways, I suppose we can temporarily set up our gymnasium for a card game tournament," Celestia said.

"Wonderful! I'll start putting up the sign-up booths and posters," Pegasus said.

The nameless man with the mullet walked up to the microphone on Celestia's desk and spoke into the intercom. "Attention duelists! My mullet would like to inform you that the Battle Of The Bands has been canceled," Many cries of disappointment and outrage could be heard from the classrooms.

"I never said that!" Celestia interjected.

"Well now you did," Pegasus replied.

Kaiba left the office and wandered the hallways, having nothing better to do. As the bell rang for passing period, he bumped into one of the students. She had orange skin, hair like fire, a sky blue tank top and a leather jacket.

"I don't believe I've seen you around before," she said.

"Yeah well I'm not from here," Kaiba replied.

"I'm Sunset Shimmer. I hope we can get to be friends,"

"Doubt it. I came here to play card games and nothing else," Kaiba pushed past Sunset Shimmer.

"Hey, I didn't catch your name!" Sunset called out.

Kaiba glanced back at Sunset Shimmer. "If you really want to know, the name's Seto Kaiba. Remember that," Kaiba kept walking.

Yugi and his friends were being driven down the streets of Canterlot in one of Pegasus's many limousines, gawking at the outlandish skin and hair colors of the residents.

"It seems that everyone in this town is crazy," Yugi said.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Tristan said.

"Tristan, we don't even know where we're going," Joey said.

"Attention duelists!" the driver said. "My hair knows exactly where we're going!"

"Well would your hair mind sharing that knowledge with us?" Joey asked.

"No,"

After fifteen more minutes of uneventful driving, the limousine pulled up in front of what appeared to be a school. At the front, there was a statue of a rearing stallion. It felt...significant, like it took up a part-time job doing something not statue related.

"Attention duelists!" the driver said. "We have arrived at our destination!"

"Wait, are we at school?" Joey asked. "I thought we came here to get away from all that,"

"Some things you just can't escape from, Joey," Yugi said.

"Nyehhh...."

Yami Bakura was sitting in the terminal of Canterlot Airport, drinking a soda and looking at a map of Canterlot he bought at the gift shop, trying to locate Canterlot High. Once he won the tournament, he would finally have the power to do what he wanted, whatever that was, because card games are the only way plot can progress in this universe. Well, that or singing duels, but who wants to watch that? Plus, he wouldn't mind having a few Equestrian cards. Now if he could only find where Canterlot High was...

Suddenly, Marik Ishtar walked up behind Yami Bakura, dragging his pink carry-on bag behind him, and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey there, Bakura,"

Bakura turned around. "Marik, what are you doing here?"

"I heard that there was a plot happening somewhere around here. Do you know where it is?" Marik said.

"No. I'm looking for Canterlot High, but apparently they didn't think to put it on their map. Or if they did, I can't find it," Bakura said.

"No worries, Bakura," Marik pulled his Millennium Rod from his carry-on bag. "My Millennium Rod can sense the location of plot-relevant characters,"

"How'd you get that past airport security?" Bakura asked.

"I don't know, how'd you get your Ring past?" Marik asked back.

"Touché," Bakura said.

Marik closed his eyes. "All of the plot relevant characters are gathered..." He then pointed his Rod. "...over there!"

"Marik, that's a burger shop," Bakura said.

Marik opened his eyes. "Oh dear, I must be hungry again,"

"Come on, Marik," Bakura got up from his seat. "This map may not have Canterlot High on it, but I did find a diner that's probably better than airport terminal food,"

In Main Street Diner, the Dazzlings sat, discussing their plans, or rather lack thereof, amongst each other as they waited for their food.

"Okay, so now that the Battle Of The Bands has been cancelled, what exactly are we going to do?" Adagio asked.

"Well we don't have any ideas," Sonata suggested.

"Of course you don't, you imbeciles!" Adagio snapped. "We need to do something! It's not like someone's going to just walk into this diner holding powerful magic artifacts!"

Yami Bakura and Marik walked into Main Street Diner, talking with each other. Marik still held his Millennium Rod in his hand.

"Do you ever wonder why we interact so much, Bakura?" Marik asked.

"I believe the fangirls call it Thiefshipping," Bakura answered.

"What?"

"Never mind,"

Yami Bakura and Marik sat down in the booth across from the Dazzlings.

"Well I'll be. Wait right here," Adagio got up and walked over to Yami Bakura and Marik

"Ooh, I think I'll have the Fully Loaded Omelette," Marik said.

"Marik, that's a breakfast food," Bakura pointed out.

"So? I can have breakfast for dinner if I want to!" Marik said.

Bakura turned to notice Adagio staring at him, trying to put on a friendly smile but only getting to a condescending smirk.

"Are you going to just stare at us or do you want something?" Bakura asked.

"Oh, yes!" Adagio said. "My name's Adagio Dazzle, and I was wondering if you could help me and my friends out," Aria made air quotes as she said 'my friends'.

"Sorry, we're not hiring right now," Bakura said.

"Bakura!" Marik interjected. "These people could help us locate Canterlot High,"

"You're looking for Canterlot High?" Adagio asked.

"Well yes. You see, there's this card game tournament involving these magic cards and...you probably don't care, do you?" Bakura said.

"Magic, you say? That's funny, we're looking for some magic ourselves." Adagio said. "Why don't we help you out?"

"I suppose it can't hurt," Bakura said. "Why don't we go right now?"

"But we haven't even eaten yet!" Marik interjected.

"Oh alright, I suppose it can wait until tomorrow. Same place, earlier time?" Bakura said.

"That sounds splendid!" Adagio walked back over to her own booth.

"I think I've found our plan, girls..."

Author's Note

Looks like I have a lot of characters to play with. This should be interesting.

Chapter 3: Let The Card Games Commence

"Greetings, everyone!" Pegasus began. "Welcome to the Duelists Of All Worlds tournament!"

Everyone who had entered the tournament had gathered in the Canterlot High gymnasium as per the request of Maximillion Pegasus, standing on the stage. At the foot of the stage stood two of Pegasus's employees, sporting nice suits, sunglasses, and outrageous spiked hair. Halfway between the stage and the gym's entrance, a massive holographic dueling field had been installed. Yugi Moto and his friends stood in the back near Principal Celestia and the projector, looking at the other competitors they would have to face. Seto Kaiba lounged near the back, staring into space with his arms folded and wearing his trademark white trench coat. The Dazzlings stood on the opposite side of the gym from Kaiba, with Yami Bakura and Marik standing behind them. Sunset Shimmer stood a good ten feet from the Dazzlings, looking warily at them as well as at Kaiba.

"Only sixteen people signed up, but that's okay. We'll have fun regardless," Pegasus motioned with his hands for the projector to come on. When Principal Celestia turned it on, Pegasus noticed he was casting a shadow and walked off of the stage, microphone in hand.

"Anyways..." Pegasus gestured towards the projection. "These are the games for our first round,"

Seto Kaiba vs. Yugi Moto

Adagio Dazzle vs. Sunset Shimmer

Joseph Wheeler vs. Vinyl Scratch

Aria Blaze vs. Tristan Taylor

Tea Gardner vs. Sonata Dusk

Flash Sentry vs. Lyra Heartstrings

Trixie Lulamoon vs. Apple Bloom

Ryou Bakura vs. Marik Ishtar

I'm dueling Yugi first?, Kaiba thought. Way to get the fun duels out of the way first, Pegasus,

"Whoever wins these first few matches will advance to the Winners' Bracket," Pegasus said with a big smile on his face. "And whoever loses will advance to the Losers' Bracket," Pegasus made his mouth droop exaggeratedly, then smiled again. "So let's have fun, shall we?"

"Attention duelists!" one of the spiky-haired men announced. "The duel between Seto Kaiba and Yugi Moto will begin in five minutes! I repeat, the duel between Seto Kaiba and Yugi Moto will begin in five minutes!"

"Well, I guess I have to go up there, huh?" Yugi walked over to the right side of the holographic field, putting on his Duel Disk.

"You can beat him, Yug! Show Kaiba what's what with your cards!" Joey said.

"We're behind you 100%, Yugi!" Tea added.

Pegasus stood on the stage with one spiky-haired man on either side of him. The bleachers were nearly empty. The only audience the tournament managed to gather was its own competitors.

"Attention duelists!" one of the spiky-haired men announced. "The duel between Seto Kaiba and Yugi Moto is about to begin! Also my hair looks fabulous!"

"Oh, would you just shut up about your hair?! We have card games to play!" Kaiba snapped.

"Well that was uncalled for," Pegasus said. "For that, I decide that Yugi boy here goes first,"

"I guess it's time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!" Yami said.

Yami Yugi and Seto Kaiba started off with 2,000 Life Points each.

"My move!" Yami said. "I summon Rainbow Dash in attack mode!"

A glowing silhouette of a pony appeared on Yami's central monster space, and the light flaked away to reveal Rainbow Dash, posed for takeoff. She had 2,500 Attack Points.

"I also place one card face down. That's all for now," Yami said.

I wasn't aware that Rainbow Dash was a card, Sunset Shimmer thought.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. "I summon Celestia, the Alicorn Princess in attack mode!"

On Kaiba's central monster space, a brilliant light shone, from which Princess Celestia trotted out, her sparkling rainbow mane waving majestically. She had 3,500 Attack Points.

Okay, this is getting very weird now, Sunset Shimmer thought.

"I shall use Princess Celestia to attack your Rainbow Dash!" Kaiba declared.

Princess Celestia fired a magic bolt at Rainbow Dash's panicked, shaking form, instantly disintegrating her. Yami grunted as his Life Points dropped down to 1,000.

"It seems I have the upper hand, Yugi," Kaiba said. "I end my turn. Let's see what trump card you pull from thin air this time,"

"It's my turn!" Yami drew a card. "I summon Kuriboh in defense mode!"

A ball of light rose from Yami's central monster square, revealing the form of Kuriboh with all of his 200 Defense Points.

"What do you hope to accomplish with this, Yugi?" Kaiba asked.

"I'm not finished yet!" Yami shouted. "I also cast my Multiply spell card, multiplying my single Kuriboh into a wall to protect my Life Points!"

Kuriboh began to duplicate himself until Yami's side of the field was blocked off by a wall of Kuribohs with 4,000 Defense Points. Kaiba could barely even see Yami through the wall.

"Wait a minute!" Kaiba objected. "Multiply doesn't even do that!" Kaiba turned to Pegasus. "Pegasus, are you seeing this?"

"I'll allow it, Kaiba boy," Pegasus said.

"That ends my turn!" Yami said.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card, then began to laugh. "I tribute Princess Celestia in order to summon King Sombra, Terror Of The Crystal Empire!"

A cloud of smoke rose from the ground and enveloped Princess Celestia, despite her best efforts to fly away. King Sombra trotted out of the smoke cloud, a shark-toothed grin on his face, sporting 5,000 Attack Points. Two crystal ponies trotted out of the smoke cloud alongside him. Kaiba extended his hand in Yami's direction.

"Now, King Sombra, lay waste to Yugi's wall of Kuribohs!" Kaiba commanded.

From Sombra's horn shot an extremely powerful blast of black and purple lightning, which disintegrated all of the Kuribohs in mere seconds. Yami's jaw dropped unwittingly.

"No!" Yami exclaimed.

What the...?! Sunset Shimmer could not bring herself to look away from the scene.

"I end my turn," Kaiba said, an overconfident smirk displayed on his face.

"It's my turn!" Yami drew a card. "I summon Big Shield Gardna to the field in defense mode!"

A translucent image of a burly man with wild hair carrying a stylized shield half as tall as he was rose up from the field. As he became more solid and opaque, he crouched down in front of his shield, giving him 2,600 Defense Points.

"I guess that ends my turn," Yami said.

"What a joke. My move!" Kaiba drew a card. "I play my Endless Staircase spell card, which allows me to send your Big Shield Gardna to the Graveyard and give me another Crystal Pony counter, raising Sombra's Attack Points to 6,000,"

Yami's Big Shield Gardna transformed into yellow light and flew over to his Graveyard, while on Kaiba's side of the field another Crystal Pony rose from the field to stand beside King Sombra.

"You're finished, Yugi! King Sombra, annihilate him now!" Kaiba commanded.

Sombra flashed his shark-toothed grin and shot a bolt of black and purple lightning shot from his horn, striking Yami in his chest and blasting him backwards from the dueling field on his back as his Life Points scrolled down to zero. Kaiba laughed triumphantly at his flawless victory.

"Hmm. I was not aware that holograms could produce a tangible force," Pegasus remarked. "But I suppose Kaiba boy wins this. Congratulations!"

"Now I am the King of Games!" Kaiba declared.

Joey, Tristan, and Tea ran up to normal Yugi, laying on the floor in shock.

"Are you okay, Yugi?" Joey asked. "Because you fell pretty hard there,"

"I'm fine, Joey," Yugi replied. "But I'm a bit worried about that King Sombra card that Kaiba has,"

"We may be in for a wild ride, Marik," Yami Bakura said.

"Indubitably, Bakura!" Marik replied.

"Did you seriously just use the word 'indubitably'?" Yami Bakura asked.

"Yes I did. It was on my word-of-the-day calendar for today," Marik replied.

"Well that explains it,"

I really need to let someone know about this, Sunset Shimmer bolted down the bleachers and to the exit of the gymnasium.

Author's Note

For anyone that's tracking this story, sorry for the long wait. Imperium Universalis can be very addicting.

Chapter 4: Guess Who's Back

"I mean, why would they cancel it?" Rainbow Dash asked. "The school had everything set up, it makes no sense,"

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy were walking down the hallways, having nothing better to do now that the Battle Of The Bands was cancelled.

"And for a children's card game too," Rarity added. "Unbelievable!"

Sunset Shimmer pushed past them from behind at a full sprint. "Hi! Can't talk!" She stopped in front of her locker and began to fiddle with the lock.

"Uh, Sunset Shimmer," Applejack said. "Why are you acting this frantically?"

Sunset Shimmer got her locker open and pulled out a journal. "I'm concerned about a thing involving a trading card,"

"Why would anyone be concerned about a trading card?" Rainbow Dash questioned. "They're just dumb little pieces of paper,"

"It makes more sense in context, I swear," Sunset Shimmer blew the dust off of her journal and flipped through it. "I'm not even sure that this old thing works anymore, but I'm going to give it the old college try regardless. Or, I guess it would be the old high school try. Uh, does anyone have a pen?"

"Oh, I have one!" Fluttershy reached into her backpack and plucked out a ballpoint pen. Sunset Shimmer grabbed it from her hand.

"Thanks," She immediately set to writing her plea for help.

Twilight Sparkle and Spike were bringing in Twilight's newest shipment of books from the Canterlot Library, which had to be shut down because all of its budget went into maintaining Celestia's wavy rainbow mane. On the top of one of the stacks, one of the books began to glow and shake.

"Uh, Twilight," Spike said, pointing to the book. "Are books supposed to ring like that?"

Twilight turned towards the ringing book. "I don't think so," Twilight grabbed the book, levitated it near her face, and opened it. It said:

To Whom It May Concern:

I may have found a problem at Canterlot High. The school is holding a trading card tournament, and in the first match, the competitors began to summon ponies from Equestria, like Rainbow Dash and Princess Celestia, like they were trading cards. That would be concerning on it's own, but then one competitor, I believe his name was Seto Kaiba, summoned King Sombra, and his power felt real, at least real enough to blast Seto Kaiba's opponent off of his pedestal.

I believe King Sombra may be back.

Send help.

Sunset Shimmer

"Whoa! I was not expecting a bombshell when reading this," Twilight said. "I need to get to the human world as fast as possible,"

"Yeah, there's just one problem with that, Twilight," Spike pointed out. "The portal to the human world doesn't open for another seventy moons,"

"Oh well that's an easy fix," Twilight answered. "I'll just jury rig a portal using this book, some wood, and a lot of duct tape,"

"I honestly don't think that's going to work, Twilight," Spike said.

"Trust me, this will work," Twilight replied.

"If you say so,"

Fifteen minutes later, Twilight had finished building her portal to the human world. It was made of wood planks in an only vaguely circular shape and held together by sheer force of will and copious amounts of duct tape. On top of the portal, there were two nails attached to jumper cables, with the still open book attached to the other end.

"You see Spike, this portal works by harnessing the latent magical power of the book and using that to punch a hole between Equestria and the human world. It takes a lot less energy than you would think, actually. Turns out the barrier between Equestria and the human world makes Queen Chrysalis look solid," Twilight explained.

"Not to be mean, Twilight, but I don't think anypony cares about how the portal works," Spike said.

Twilight sighed. "You're probably right, but no matter. Let's go help Sunset Shimmer!"

"Wait, Twilight! Don't you think you should at least write your friends a note before going off on all of these crazy adventures without telling them?" Spike asked.

"Oh, yes! Silly me," Twilight hastily wrote a note and attached it to the outside of her front door.

Off to help Sunset Shimmer save the world from malevolent trading cards. Makes more sense in context.

Twilight Sparkle

"Okay, let's go!" Twilight grabbed Spike and flew into the hastily-made portal.

The next thing Twilight and Spike knew, they were laying flat on their stomachs right in front of the door of Canterlot High, Twilight as a human and Spike as a dog. Twilight rose and dusted herself off, then extended a shaky hand to open the door. She could never remember whether you needed to push or pull Canterlot High's front doors. She tried pulling, but the door didn't budge. She then pushed, with much better results.

As soon as she walked in, Twilight saw Sunset Shimmer pacing in the lobby, muttering something about trading cards and outrageous hairstyles. She then glanced in Twilight's direction.

"Twilight!" Sunset exclaimed, running towards Twilight and embracing her in a hug. "I was hoping you'd come!"

"So what's this about King Sombra being a trading card?" Twilight asked.

At that moment,a man's deep voice boomed over the intercom. "Attention duelists! The duel between Sunset Shimmer and Adagio Dazzle will begin in five minutes. I repeat, the duel between Sunset Shimmer and Adagio Dazzle will begin in five minutes."

Sunset let go of Twilight. "I'll tell you later. I have to go," She raced towards the gym, Twilight and Spike close on her heels.

"The duel between Sunset Shimmer and Adagio Dazzle shall now commence," Pegasus said.

Sunset Shimmer and Adagio Dazzle each started out with 8,000 Life Points this time.

"I'll go first," Sunset said. "I'll place one card face down on the field, and then I'll summon Vorse Raider in attack mode!

From Sunset's central monster space, an orange muscular beast rose up, flashing his sharp teeth and wielding an axe. He had 1,900 Attack Points.

Wait, that's one of my signature monsters, Kaiba thought. How did she get that?

"That ends my turn," Sunset said.

"It's my turn!" Adagio drew a card. "I summon my Siren Harpist in defense mode!"

From Adagio's central monster space, a cute girl with a blue dress and pink hair playing a harp rose and floated. She had 2,200 Defense Points.

"Due to my monster's special effect, I can special summon my Battle Siren, Nepheri in attack mode!"

Another pink haired girl, this time holding a ball of light, rose to the left of Adagio's Siren Harpist. She had 1,600 Attack Points.

"That ends my turn," Adagio said.

"It's my turn!" Sunset drew a card. "I play my Raigeki spell card, destroying all monsters on your side of the field!"

A storm cloud formed over Adagios Sirens, striking them both with bolts of lightning and dissolving them.

"What?! NO!" Adagio objected.

"Next I'll summon my Black Dragon's Chick in attack mode!" Sunset shouted.

A ball of light came into being on the right side of Vorse Raider, revealing itself to be a red egg, from which a tiny black dragon with 800 Attack Points hatched.

"Aww, it's cute!" Twilight said.

"Now I'll send my Black Dragon's Chick to the Graveyard in order to summon my Red Eyes Black Dragon from my hand in attack mode!"

Sunset's Black Dragon's Chick shattered, and in its place rose a massive black dragon with glowing red eyes, now sporting 2,400 Attack Points.

"Wait, did she just summon more than one monster in one turn?" Adagio asked Pegasus.

"Why yes she did, but one of those was a special summon, so it's perfectly legal," Pegasus answered.

"No!" Adagio objected.

"Now, Vorse Raider, Red Eyes, attack Adagio's Life Points directly!" Sunset commanded.

Vorse Raider tossed his axe like it was a boomerang, with it flying towards Adagio's pedestal, striking it, and flying back to Vorse Raider's hand, leaving Adagio with 6,100 Life Points. Then Red Eyes blasted Adagio with a fireball from his mouth, lowering her Life Points to 3,700. Adagio stepped back, eyes widened in disbelief.

"That ends my turn," Sunset said.

"Whoo! Go Sunset!" Twilight cheered.

"It's my turn!" Adagio drew a card. "I cast the Graceful Charity spell card! This makes me draw three cards from my deck, then discard two from my hand into the Graveyard!" Adagio did just that. "Now I play Monster Reborn to special summon my Siren Warrior Princess in attack mode!"

From Adagio's central monster space rose a very robust, imposing woman with sea-green eyes that seemed as though it pierced through Sunset's Red-Eyes and Vorse Raider, arctic blue skin, a midnight blue bikini, and flowing golden hair. Siren Warrior Princess held a shark tooth spear that was taller than she was, adorned with seashells, and had 3,000 Attack Points.

"Now, Siren Warrior Princess, attack Sunset's Red-Eyes!" Adagio commanded.

Siren Warrior Princess charged at the Red-Eyes Black Dragon, screaming with fury and confidence.

"Not so fast, Adagio," Sunset said. "You've activated my trap card, Mirror Force! Once you call an attack, Mirror Force destroys all monsters you have that are in attack position!"

Upon the completion of Sunset's declaration, Siren Warrior Princess promptly dissolved.

"NO!" Adagio objected.

"Do you have any other moves to make, or are you just going to keep screaming 'NO!'?" Sunset asked.

"Th-that ends my turn, I-I guess," Adagio stammered.

"It's my turn!" Sunset drew a card. "I guess I don't really have to play anything, since your side of the board is empty. So, Vorse Raider, Red-Eyes, attack Adagio's Life points directly!"

Vorse Raider threw his axe like a boomerang at Adagio again, and Red-Eyes spit a massive fireball at her pedestal, reducing her Life Points to 0.

"NOOOOO!" Adagio sank to her knees and covered her face with her hands.

"Yes! Good job, Sunset Shimmer! Whoo!" Twilight was the only one in the bleachers cheering.

"Well that was certainly fun, wasn't it?" Pegasus said. "Sunset Shimmer here will be advancing to the Winners' Bracket to face off against Seto Kaiba. Meanwhile, Adagio Dazzle will be advancing to the Losers' Bracket to face off against Yugi Moto,"

Author's Note

Sorry for the delays, all of the twelve people that read this fic. And speaking of delays, there will probably be another big one, since I'm going to be leaving for a trip tomorrow. I can't guarantee the next chapter before July, but I'll try.

Chapter 5: Marik vs. Bakura

"Hey Yug, do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?" Joey asked. "A Royale with Cheese. It's because of the metric system,"

"Joey, stop quoting movies you haven't seen," Yugi replied.

"Nyehh...bite me,"

Joey put his feet up on the bleacher row in front of him, his hands behind his head, and flourished his giant mop of blond hair.

"So who's dueling now?" Tea asked.

"Attention duelists!" one of Pegasus's spiky-haired employees announced. "The duel between Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar will begin in five minutes! I repeat, the duel between Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar will begin in five minutes!" As if on cue, Marik and Yami Bakura rose from the bleachers and towards the dueling field in the middle of the gym

"Bakura? That British kid from school?" Yugi asked.

"I can hear you, Yugi, and for the record, I am not British! I am Japanese, same as you!" Yami Bakura retorted in a British accent.

"Whatever you say, Bakura," Yugi said.

"Marik, are you ready to have your soul be cast into the void between the worlds for all eternity?" Yami Bakura asked.

"Not really, no," Marik replied.

"Good, because that's not going to happen. This won't be a Shadow Game," Yami Bakura said.

"Wait, really?" Marik asked.

"Nope. I just want to have some fun with this duel," Yami Bakura said.

"Fun? Fun is when you completely obliterate the opposing duelist with your Egyptian God cards and scar them for life! Then you laugh, because laughing's also fun," Marik declared.

"Actually, fun is more like sitting in a big, comfy chair with a cup of tea and a Jane Austen novel," Yami Bakura said.

"Wow...you are painfully British," Marik said.

"I'm not British, I'm Japanese!" Yami Bakura objected.

"Yeah right, and I'm Knuckles the Echidna!" Yugi called out to Yami Bakura.

"Oh sod off, Yugi!" Yami Bakura retorted. "Anyways, shall we get started?"

"Hurry up, I've been waiting for this duel all day!" Marik said.

"Attention duelists!" the spiky-haired guy announced. "The duel between Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar will now begin!"

Yami Bakura and Marik both started off with 8,000 Life Points each.

"It's my turn!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I set one card face down on the field and summon my Goblin Zombie in attack mode!"

A deformed bipedal monster, certainly one deserving of the name 'goblin', rose from Yami Bakura's central monster space. He was wielding a cutlass with his left hand and wearing a sort of golden exoskeleton, with two sharp golden mandibles where his mouth should be. He had 1,100 Attack Points.

"And that ends my turn," Yami Bakura stated.

"It's my turn!" Marik drew a card. "I play my Pot of Greed magic card, allowing me to draw five more cards!" Pegasus glanced in Marik's direction. "Alright, fine! Two more cards," Marik drew two more cards.

"Now I summon Melchid, the Four-Face Beast in attack mode!" Marik declared.

From Marik's central monster space rose four floating masks, connected to form a square. The one facing Yami Bakura had a big goofy grin on his face, as if he just ripped him off at the car dealership. The floating masks had 1,500 Attack Points.

"Now, Melchid, attack Bakura's Goblin Zombie!" Marik commanded.

Melchid rushed towards the Goblin Zombie at a high velocity, shattering him on impact and lowering Yami Bakura's Life Points to 7,600.

"That activates my trap card," Yami Bakura flipped over his set card. "Fearful Earthbound. Whenever one of your monsters attacks me, you lose 500 Life Points." Marik's Life Points went down to 7,500.

"Damn, that sucks," Marik said. "But it won't matter soon enough. I end my turn!"

"It's my turn!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I play my Night Of The Living Dead spell card, allowing me to special summon three undead monsters from my deck or my Graveyard to the field. So I summon my Goblin Zombie, my Earl of Demise, and Pharynx, the Changeling Warrior!"

Yami Bakura's Goblin Zombie came back to the field with 1,100 Attack Points, along with the Earl of Demise, a monster resembling a decayed corpse and wielding a rapier with 2,000 Attack Points, and Pharynx, the Changeling Warrior, who looked almost like an alicorn, except he was smaller, and entirely black with holes sprinkled around his body and wings. Pharynx had his teeth bared and looked ready to fight, with his 2,500 Attack Points.

"Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?" Marik asked.

"Oh don't even try to make that joke, Marik," Yami Bakura replied. "Pharynx, attack Marik's Four-Face Beast!"

Pharynx took off towards Melchid, one hoof extended. When Pharynx's hoof connected with Melchid's goofy grin mask, Melchid shattered immediately, and Marik's Life Points went down to 6,500.

"Now, Goblin Zombie, Earl of Demise, attack Marik's Life Points directly!" Yami Bakura commanded.

Goblin Zombie and Earl of Demise ran up to Marik and attacked him with their swords, lowering Marik's Life Points down to 3,400.

"That ends my turn," Yami Bakura said.

"It's my turn!" Marik drew a card. "I play my Reaper's Due magic card, allowing me to Tribute Summon using any monster that's on the field!"

"Okay, now you're just making cards up!" Yami Bakura objected.

"Perhaps I am, but every duelist does that. Just ask Pegasus," Marik said.

"It's true. We tend to do that a lot," Pegasus confirmed.

"I sacrifice your Goblin Zombie, your Earl of Demise, and Pharynx, the Changeling Warrior, in order to Tribute Summon my greatest card of all!" Marik shouted.

Goblin Zombie, Earl of Demise, and Pharynx all shattered and went to the Graveyard, as a ball of golden light began to shine on Marik's side of the field.

"Arise, Egyptian God, and unleash your vengeance upon my opponent! Arise, and let all who stand in my way fall upon their knees before your mighty blasts that shatter the heavens themselves! Arise and bring to me absolute victory! Arise, Winged Dragon of Ra!"

Marik's ball of light began to twist and morph until it was in the form of a colossal dragon that appeared to be made of solid gold and had 6,600 Attack Points. It belted out a mighty roar, which made Yami Bakura take a step back.

"I'm not done yet!" Marik declared. "I shall also sacrifice all but 501 of my Life Points, in order to raise the Winged Dragon of Ra's Attack Points to 9,499!"

"Oh bugger," Yami Bakura could not say anything else.

"I still don't understand this game," Twilight Sparkle sat on the bleachers next to Sunset Shimmer.

"I don't think any of us do," Sunset Shimmer replied.

"I end my turn!" Marik declared.

Wow, am I in a jam. I'm going to need to draw something truly outrageous in order to win this duel, Yami Bakura thought.

"It's my turn! I draw!" Naturally, Yami Bakura drew something truly outrageous.

"I play my Sealed Away spell card!" Yami Bakura slammed the card onto his playing field. "This allows me to send any monster on your side of the field to the Graveyard. A monster like, say, your Winged Dragon of Ra!"

"Ha! Keep dreaming, Bakura! The Winged Dragon of Ra is an Egyptian God card, and is therefore immune to all spell and trap effects!" Marik declared.

The Winged Dragon of Ra dissolved into a silhouette composed of yellow light and was sent to the Graveyard.

"WHAT??!!"

"And it seems like your Winged Dragon of Ra is no more," Yami Bakura stated matter-of-factly.

"No! Y-you can't...that's cheating! My Winged Dragon of Ra was supposed to be invincible!" Marik exclaimed.

"Let me let you in on a little secret, Marik," Yami Bakura said. "All of the world's top duelists, me, Yugi, Kaiba, we're all just a bunch of topdecking cheaters who use mystical Ancient Egyptian artifacts to win card games,"

"Yeah, I gathered as much!" Marik shouted. "But Kaiba doesn't have a mystical artifact from Ancient Egypt though,"

"Well, he's Seto Kaiba, so I'm pretty sure he can do whatever he wants," Yami Bakura said.

"Damn straight!" Kaiba called from the bleachers.

"Oh,"

"I shall also use Monster Reborn in order to call back my Earl of Demise to the field!" Earl of Demise rose back up to Yami Bakura's central monster square, rapier in hand.

Now, Earl of Demise, attack Marik's Life Points directly!" Yami Bakura commanded.

Earl of Demise ran up to Marik and stabbed his dueling platform, causing his Life Points to go down to 0.

"Looks like Bakura here wins!" Pegasus said. "Congratulations! That shall be the last duel for today. Everybody go home now!"

"Well that went well," Yami Bakura said.

"I shall have my revenge someday, Bakura!" Marik shouted.

"Ah nuts, we forgot to book a hotel!" Joey realized.

"That line feels like the setup for an advertisement," Tea said.

"No kidding," Tristan added.

Suddenly, a pink-haired girl with lighter pink skin bounced towards Yugi and his friends.

"Hi there! Is one of you named 'Yugi Moto' by any chance?" the girl asked.

"That would be me," Yugi answered. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie, and I just love making new friends! Hey, would you four like to spend the night with me and my friends? My other friend Twilight Sparkle told me we might need you for a teeny tiny itty-bitty problem we have!"

"Hey, this all seems too convenient," Joey said. "What's the catch for all of this?"

"Catch? Why on Earth would there be a catch?" Pinkie Pie replied.

"Alright, I'll trust ya...for now," Joey said.

"Yay! Come on, let's go right now! My friends will be so excited to meet you!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Well, guess we have that problem solved now. Let's go," Yugi and his friends followed Pinkie Pie down the bleachers and out of the gymnasium.

Author's Note

I see that Yugioh characters get better reception than Equestria Girls characters. I'll keep that in mind.

Chapter 6: Yugi Sleeps Over

"So this Yugi guy is gonna help us save the school?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, and Sunset Shimmer were all sitting on the bleachers next to Canterlot High's all-purpose sports field. Sunset Shimmer still had her black leather jacket on, despite it being over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

"Well if anything Sunset Shimmer told me is accurate, then he should be the best guy for the job at hand," Twilight Sparkle answered.

"Hey, I'm a credible source!" Sunset Shimmer interjected.

"I'm not saying you aren't, Sunset, but-"

"Hey look, there comes Pinkie Pie now!" Rarity interrupted.

Across the field, Pinkie Pie came hopping towards the bleachers, her frilly skirt bouncing along with her. Following her were Yugi and his friends. Joey was wearing a green jacket and kept his hands behind his head and his eyes closed as he walked. Tristan was wearing a beige jacket, Tea was wearing a pink one, and Yugi a blue one. Everyone on the bleachers could not stop gawking at the ridiculous hairstyles presented before them.

"Hello, everyone!" Pinkie Pie began. "For my friends on the bleachers, the blond one is Joey,"

"Hey, how you doin'?" Joey said.

"The girl is Tea, the brown-haired one is Tristan, and Mr. Crazy Hair here is Yugi!"

Upon seeing Yugi more clearly, Rarity squealed and dashed down the bleachers. "He looks just like a baby panda!"

"You mean he's not? Could've fooled me," Fluttershy added.

"Hey hey, take it easy girls!" Rarity pinched Yugi's cheeks. "Ow! Now she's touching my face,"

Rarity let go of Yugi's cheeks. "Sorry, I just can't help myself! You're too cute for your own good!"

"So I've been told," Yugi rubbed his hands against his cheeks.

"So you're the King of Games, eh?" Sunset Shimmer said. "I hope you won't get offended when I say I was expecting someone taller,"

"Actually...I'm not the King of Games per se. That's just my sexy alter ego who's actually good at games," Yugi said.

"Sexy alter ego? I'll believe it when I see it," Rainbow Dash said.

I believe that's my cue to enter, Yami said in Yugi's mind.

"Okay, here goes," Yugi's Millennium Puzzle began to glow. Yugi himself grew about eight inches in height, and some of his bangs began to stick up.

"Hey there," Yami said to the girls on the bleachers. All of them except Rainbow Dash and Sunset Shimmer were speechless.

"Okay, I believe it," Rainbow Dash said.

"This is the one I remember," Sunset Shimmer said.

"Hey, so-called King Of Games, I bet I can still kick your butt in a game of soccer," Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh, you wanna bet?" Yami replied.

"So how does this game work again?" Yami asked.

Yami and Rainbow Dash stood in the middle of the field, a soccer ball between the two. Rainbow Dash stood poised to take off at a sprint, while Yami just stood, arms crossed.

"You try to kick this ball here to the other person's goal, while they try to stop you and do the same," Rainbow Dash answered.

"Sounds simple enough," Yami said.

"Ready?"

"I guess so,"

"3...2...1..."

Rainbow Dash immediately took off at a run, stealing the ball before Yami even had a chance to react. By the time Yami turned around and chased after Rainbow Dash, she was already a fourth of the way to the goal.

"Hey, wait up!" Yami chased after Rainbow Dash. By the time Yami caught up, Rainbow Dash had already kicked the ball into the goal.

"Looks like I win, 'King Of Games'," Rainbow Dash had a giant self-satisfied smirk on her face.

"Oh come on, that was just the warm-up game!" Yami laughed.

"Best two-out-of-three?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"You're on!" Yami said.

"How?! You beat me with Filly Second again!" Sunset Shimmer shouted. "It's like you've been playing this game your whole life!"

"Really?" Yami said. "Because I just chose her at random. I've never even played this game before," As he said that, Filly Second knocked the Mane-iac out with a well placed punch to the gut.

"Let's just start a new match," Sunset Shimmer said.

"Alright," Yami peered through the list of fighters. "How about I play as Humdrum? He looks pretty pathetic," Sunset Shimmer laughed as Yami selected Humdrum as his fighter.

"Hey! Humdrum is not pathetic!" Spike objected.

"Oh, what do you know? You're a dog," Yami responded.

"Actually, where I come from, I'm a mighty and fearsome dragon that can breathe fire," Spike said.

"Yes, because dragons totally come in dog-shaped packages," Yami said.

"You guys, cut it out!" Twilight shouted.

"You beat me with Humdrum!" Sunset Shimmer shouted. "How is that even possible?!"

"King of Games, baby!" Yami responded.

"And that's checkmate!" Yami declared.

"What?!" Twilight Sparkle could not believe that she lost yet another game of chess. Back in Equestria, she was the Ponyville regional champion, and Yami was here making her look like a rank amateur. "One more game!"

"You're on!" Yami began to return the chess pieces to their starting positions.

Joey walked into the bedroom where Yami and Twilight were playing. "Hey look, the two biggest nerds in the room are playing chess. How cute,"

"So why am I even here again?" Yami asked Twilight. "I mean, aside from owning everyone here at every game in existence,"

"Oh, right," Twilight placed one hand behind her head. "Eh...we kind of have a problem that's endemic to my world,"

"Okay then..."

"You see, I'm actually a princess from a land called Equestria, where almost everyone is some kind of pony, and a powerful unicorn named King Sombra that we...ahem...dealt with previously may have come over to this world in the form of a trading card to try and seek revenge,"

"That makes sense," Yami said.

"Wait, seriously?" Twilight asked.

"I mean, it makes as much sense as a children's card game determining the fate of the universe," Yami answered.

"That reminds me," Twilight rose from her chair. "I need to write a spell so that Sombra doesn't gain any more power than he already has while you try and beat him in a duel. If that doesn't work, then I don't know what we're going to do,"

"That sounds like a good plan, but what about our chess game?" Yami said.

"Forget it, you were going to beat me anyway," Twilight said.

"Yeah, I guess I was," Yami said.

Joey sauntered over to Rainbow Dash. "Hey, baby. I know a game that we can play later, in private,"

"What the hell?" Rainbow Dash responded.

"Real smooth, Joey," Yami responded. "I mean, you're really reeling her in right now,

"Hey, it's not my fault everyone wants to get into your pants, Yugi!" Joey snapped. "I mean, where are my fangirls?"

"Don't worry. You'll get your own fangirls, maybe, in the next ten to twenty years," Yami quipped.

"That does it!" Joey raised his fist, when Pinkie Pie interrupted from another room.

"Hey Yugi!" Pinkie Pie called. "Could you come to the phone real quick?"

"I would stay and fight you, Joey, but apparently I have important phone calls to make," Yami left the bedroom.

"So what's this about, then?" Yami asked.

"I want you to order us some pizza!" Pinkie Pie handed Yami the house phone. "Don't worry, I already dialed their number.

"Okay..." Yami took the phone while Pinkie Pie stood off to the side.

"Hi! Thank you for calling Equine Pizza. How may I help you?" The voice on the phone was high-pitched and enthusiastic, probably a teenage girl who had been hired not to long ago.

"Uh yes, hello, I would like to place an order," Yami said.

"Okay, what would you like sir?" the phone girl asked.

"Um...do you have pizza?" Yami asked.

"Well, I can certainly check if we have pizza here at Equine Pizza," the phone girl quipped.

"Okay, forget I asked," Yami said as Pinkie Pie giggled at him. "I would like, uh, five pizzas, please,"

"What size would you like those pizzas, sir?" the phone girl asked.

"Make them pharaoh-sized!" Yami said.

"Um, sir, I don't believe we carry that size here. The largest size we have is extra large," the phone girl said.

"What? What do you mean you don't have pharaoh-sized pizzas?!"Yami shouted. "If you can't make pizzas large enough to sate my appetite, then to hell with your business!"

"Yugi!" Pinkie Pie chastised Yami.

"Alright, alright, hold on! Just give me a second to regain my composure," Yami took a few deep breaths.

"Okay, sorry about that. Can I just get five large pizzas?" Yami turned to Pinkie Pie for confirmation. She nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, five large pizzas, please,"

"Would you like any toppings on that, sir?" the phone girl asked.

"Um, yes, can I get...pizza?" Yami was confused.

"You want us to put pizza on your pizzas?" the phone girl was confused as well.

"Okay, hold on a second," Yami turned to Pinkie Pie. "What toppings should I get?"

"Well, what I was thinking is that we would get two cheese pizzas, two pepperonis, and one meat lover's," Pinkie Pie said.

"Thanks," Yami turned back to the phone. "Okay, can I get two cheese pizzas, two pepperoni pizzas, and one meat lover's pizza?"

"Alright, so you want two large cheese pizzas, two large pepperoni pizzas, and one meat lover's?" the phone girl asked.

"Yes," Yami said.

"Okay, now what's your address?" the phone girl asked.

"Pardon?" Pinkie Pie giggled at Yami once more.

"We need to know where to send these pizzas, sir," the phone girl said.

'Oh, yes, um..." Yami turned to Pinkie Pie again. "What's this address again?

"It's 1600 Generic Lane, silly," Pinkie Pie said. Yami turned back to the phone.

"Uh, could you send those pizzas to 1600 Generic Lane, please?" Yami asked.

"We sure can. Will that be all?" the phone girl asked.

"That will be all, thank you," Yami said.

"Have a nice day, sir," the phone girl said.

"You too," Yami hung up the phone. "Well, that went well,"

Pinkie Pie giggled once more "You've never ordered a pizza before, have you?"

"Nope!" Yami said.

Normal Yugi woke up sprawled across his matress like a starfish, his head pounding and his stomach aching. Joey was beginning to stir from his slumber on the bedroom floor.

"Ughhh...I hate pizza hangovers. They're the worst," Yugi groaned.

"I feel ya, Yug," Joey got up from the floor and glanced around the room, conspicuously devoid of any other people. "Hey Yug, where did everyone go?"

Yugi lifted his head and his eyes widened when he saw that there was no one else there. "Did we miss the beginning of the tournament?"

Now Joey's eyes widened. "Nyeh! I think we did! We gotta hurry, Yug! Come on!" Joey grasped Yugi's hand and dragged him out of the house at top speed.

Author's Note

Writing things that aren't duels is harder than I thought. I guess I'm out of practice.

Also Question: Would any of you like to see Yami Bakura duel the Great and Powerful Trixie in this fic? Because I just realized that that's a thing I can do.

Chapter 7: Kaiba, King of Shadows

Late in the evening, Seto Kaiba opened the door to his hotel suite, exhausted after a long day of playing card games. His little brother Mokuba was sitting on the bed, and a pile of plates and silverware was on the nightstand next to him. The rest of the suite was practically untouched.

"Mokuba! Why weren't you at the tournament today?" Kaiba said.

"I was going to go, Seto, but then I noticed that it was being televised, so I just ordered room service and watched it from here," Mokuba answered.

"Wait, Duelists Of All Worlds is being televised?" Kaiba asked.

"Yeah. Apparently card games get amazing ratings for whatever reason," Mokuba said.

"Hmm. I'm sure that's worth looking into, but I'm too tired to care right now. I'm going to bed, so don't stay up too late," Kaiba said.

"Don't worry, I won't," Mokuba said mischieviously.

The next morning, Seto and Mokuba Kaiba were woken up by a booming knock at their door. Seto opened the door, still half-asleep, and was greeted to the sight of an old man wearing denim overalls, his face obscured by a golden mask resembling two triangles stitched together at a point, a black cloth mask, and a cloth bandana emblazoned with the number '6'.

"Seto Kaiba! I, Mask the Rock, have come to challenge you to a duel!" the old man said.

"Sugoroku Moto? It's six in the morning," Kaiba responded groggily. "And what the hell are you wearing?"

"Okay, look Kaiba, if you're going to call me by name, at least call me by my English name, Solomon. It's a cool name, for cool people," Sugoroku said.

"No offense, Sugoroku, but when I think about what's 'cool', an old game shop owner who wears denim overalls doesn't exactly spring to mind," Kaiba said.

"So are we dueling or what?" Sugoroku asked.

"Sure, why not?" Kaiba answered.

Sugoroku Moto and Seto Kaiba stood on opposite sides of the suite, Duel Disks extended and attached firmly to their arms.

"So who's going first?" Seto Kaiba asked.

"I am!" Sugoroku declared.

"Okay then," Kaiba said.

Kaiba and Sugoroku each started the duel off with 8,000 Life Points.

"It's my turn!" Sugoroku drew a card. "I set two cards face down, and then I summon the Guardian Of The Temple in attack mode!"

A very bulky humanoid figure made of cobbled gray stone materialized in front of Sugoroku, bringing 2,200 Attack Points to bear.

"That ends my turn," Sugoroku said.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card and smirked. "Hmm, well isn't this a predicament? I have Polymerization in my hand, but only two of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons, so I can't summon the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon,"

"Why are you telling me this?" Sugoroku asked.

"So that I can demonstrate the power of one of my cards," Kaiba slammed a card onto his Duel Disk. "I activate Twinkle Wish!"

At that moment, a yellow star with a face revealing a cheery disposition and wearing a blue nightcap materialized in front of Kaiba.

"Twinkle Wish is a spell card that allows me to draw a card of my choice from either my deck or my Graveyard and activate or summon it to the field if I so choose. I think you already know what's coming next," Kaiba flipped through his deck and pulled out a single card. Kaiba raised said card into the air before slamming it down onto his Duel Disk. "Come forth, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"

A massive white dragon with blue eyes rose from the floor to stand in front of Kaiba with its 3,000 Attack Points as Twinkle Wish shattered into shards of light.

"Now I'll set one card face down, then I'll play Polymerization and use the other two Blue-Eyes in my hand to fusion summon Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

Blue-Eyes began to glow and sprout two new heads on either side of its original head, and its Attack Points rose to 4,500. Once it finished its metamorphosis, it let out a mighty roar that nearly blew Sugoroku off of his feet.

"Hey, I believe there's a word for Twinkle Wish's effect. It's called cheating," Sugoroku said.

"Oh, put a sock in it, old man!" Kaiba snapped. "Blue-Eyes, lay waste to his Guardian Of The Temple now!"

Balls of white lightning began to pool in Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon's three maws, but Sugoroku just laughed and flipped over one of his face-down cards.

"It appears that you've activated my trap card, Kaiba," Sugoroku said. "The Trickster's Exchange. It's a trap card that swaps a monster's Attack Points with those of its attacker,"

Now Guardian Of The Temple had 4,500 Attack Points, and Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon had 2,200.

"Wait, what?! No!" Kaiba objected. As Blue-Eyes fired its bolts of white lightning, they just simply bounced off of Guardian Of The Temple and back to it, shattering it and dropping Kaiba's Life Points to 5,700. Kaiba recoiled in pure shock at what had just happened.

"A pretty good move if I do say so myself," Sugoroku said. Suddenly, Kaiba's pupils turned as blue as his irises and the duel became surrounded by moving shadows. Mokuba tried to call out for his brother, but his voice was blocked out by Kaiba's Shadow Game.

"Yes, that was a good move, Sugoroku," Kaiba said in a deadpan voice. "Unfortunately, that one shall be your last,"

"What the hell?" Sugoroku's eyes widened at the sudden changes. "What just happened, Kaiba?"

"Kaiba's no longer here. You really have no idea what you're dealing with here, do you?" Not-Kaiba said. Sugoroku groaned in response. "That's what I thought. I end my turn,"

"It's my turn!" Sugoroku drew a card. "I attack your Life Points directly with Guardian Of The Temple!"

Guardian Of The Temple's glowing yellow eyes opened as it lumbered towards Not-Kaiba. Not-Kaiba just chuckled and flipped over his face-down card.

"You've activated my trap card, Negate Attack," Guardian Of The Temple simply turned around and lumbered back to its original position on the field.

"Well, uhh, I guess that ends my turn then," Sugoroku said.

"Then it's my turn," Not-Kaiba drew a card. "First I'll play my Pot Of Greed magic card, allowing me to draw two more cards," Not-Kaiba drew two more cards.

"Pot of Greed?! That's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters!" Sugoroku said.

"Next I'll play my Dragon Whelp's Egg magic card, allowing me to special summon Spike the Dragon Whelp in attack mode," Not-Kaiba said as Spike shimmered into existence in front of him with 1,500 Attack Points.

"Spike the Dragon Whelp?! He's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters!" Sugoroku said.

"No, no he really isn't," Not-Kaiba said. "Now I'll sacrifice Spike the Dragon Whelp in order to tribute summon the real most powerful card in all of Duel Monsters, King Sombra,"

Spike barely had time to react as a cloud of darkness swallowed him. From that cloud of darkness trotted King Sombra with a shark-toothed grin and 5,000 Attack Points, flanked on both sides by two Crystal Ponies.

"King Sombra?! He's one of the weakest cards in all of Duel Monsters!" Sugoroku said.

"That's it, time to die," Not-Kaiba extended his hand towards Sugoroku. "Sombra, attack his Guardian Of The Temple, now!"

King Sombra was about to blast Guardian Of The Temple, but Sugoroku flipped over his other face-down card.

"You've activated my other trap card, Kaiba," Sugoroku said. "Booby Trap Arrows! I get to flip a coin, and if I call it right, I get to destroy any one monster on the field," In the center of the field, a massive coin shimmered into being. "I call heads!" The coin soared tumbling into the air, as if flipped by a giant invisible hand. When it fell back to Earth, it landed with its tails side face-up.

"Looks like you called wrong," Not-Kaiba smirked. "Now, where were we? Oh yes! Sombra, attack his Guardian Of The Temple!"

King Sombra blasted Guardian Of The Temple with a pure stream of black lightning from his horn, causing it to shatter and Sugoroku's Life Points to drop to 7,500. Sugoroku staggered back, clutching his heart.

"That ends my turn," Not-Kaiba said.

"It's my turn," Sugoroku drew a card. "I play my Valuable Artifact spell card, allowing me to special summon Ahuizotl and Caballeron in attack mode!"

Ahuizotl and Caballeron both shimmered into being, Ahuizotl with 4,000 Attack Points and Caballeron with 2,500 Attack Points.

"And now I realize that I didn't think this part through," Sugoroku said. "I guess I'll end my turn,"

"Hmm. Interesting. It's my turn," Not-Kaiba drew a card. "I play my Endless Staircase magic card. This allows me to add another Crystal Pony counter to Sombra and banish one of your monsters on the field like, say, Ahuizotl,"

Another Crystal Pony came from the cloud of darkness to stand by Sombra's side, raising his Attack Points to 6,000, as Ahuizotl shattered into shards of light and flew past Sugoroku's Graveyard.

"Now I know you're cheating," Sugoroku said.

"It's not cheating, it's just that these cards are absolutely broken," Not-Kaiba responded as he extended his hand again. "Sombra, lay waste to Caballeron!"

King Sombra charged up and fired another black lightning blast as Caballeron's legs quivered, shattering Caballeron and dropping Sugoroku's Life Points to 4,000 as it connected. Sugoroku fell onto his back from the blast's shockwave, groaning in pain.

"What's the matter? Can't keep up?" Not-Kaiba asked. "I believe your time's almost up, old man. I end my turn,"

Sugoroku struggled back onto his feet. "It's my turn! I draw!" Sugoroku drew a card. "Umm...well this is awkward. I don't have any monsters to summon or trap cards to set. So I suppose this is the end of my turn,"

Not-Kaiba laughed manaically. "How pathetic. My turn!" Not-Kaiba drew a card and extended his hand towards Sugoroku once more. "Sombra, annihilate this old fool and show him our true power!"

Sombra shot forth another bolt of black lightning, this time aimed directly at Sugoroku's heart, as Not-Kaiba's eyes went from white with blue irises to green with scarlet irises and purple flame burning from his tear ducts. The bolt sent Sugoroku flying into the darkness surrounding the field, eyes widened in shock as his Life Points plummeted to 0. The darkness then cleared up, leaving Mokuba to stare, mouth agape, at what his brother Seto had become. On the floor, where Sugoroku had once been, now laid a Duel Monsters card, with Sugoroku himself nowhere to be seen.

Not-Kaiba turned towards Mokuba. "What are you looking at?" Mokuba began to cry as he bolted out of the room, taking Sugoroku's card with him as he ran.

As Mokuba closed the door to the room, Kaiba's eyes turned completely back to normal, and he stared at the the now empty suite. "Mokuba? Where are you? ...Mokuba?"

Author's Note

*insert joke about terrible upload schedule here*

Chapter 9: More Card Games

"Attention duelists, the duel between Seto Kaiba and Sunset Shimmer is about to begin!"

Seto Kaiba and Sunset Shimmer got ready. This time, the bleachers were jam-packed, and there was nary an empty seat to be found. The spectacle sport that was the average game of Duel Monsters was about to begin when suddenly Yugi and Joey burst through the doors.

Joey panted heavily. "Nyehhh...I think we made it Yugi,"

"Oh, hello Yugi. Hello idiot with blond hair," Kaiba said. "You're just in time to watch me kick ass at card games. I suggest you take a seat. Oh wait, there are none, because you arrived late,"

"Okay, do you really have to be this much of a jerk, Kaiba?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

"I don't know, do you have to follow people around who barely even acknowledge your existence? Because you seem to do that a lot," Kaiba responded.

"Seriously, Kaiba, do you really have to be this much of a douche?" Yugi asked as he held Joey back.

"Not really. I just find it fun," Kaiba said. "So are we dueling or what? I have better things to do today," Yugi and Joey climbed up the stairs to the bleachers to be with their friends.

"Let the duel begin!" Pegasus announced.

Seto Kaiba and Sunset Shimmer each started the duel with 8,000 Life Points.

"I'll go first!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I set one card face down and summon Trixie Lulamoon in attack mode!"

Trixie, the pony version of her anyway, materialized in front of Kaiba, donned in full stage magician garb, with 2,500 Attack Points.

"So you're summoning other duelists to fight for you? What's the matter? Too scared to duel for yourself?" Sunset Shimmer taunted Kaiba.

"If I was going to summon another duelist to fight for me, I wouldn't choose Trixie. I'd choose a real duelist instead, like Yugi," Kaiba said.

"Hey! The Great And Powerful Trixie shall not be slandered like this!" Trixie objected from the bleachers.

"I end my turn!" Kaiba declared.

"It's my turn!" Sunset Shimmer drew a card and saw that she now had a couple of pony cards in her hand. "Huh. I summon Celestia The Alicorn Princess in attack position!"

Princess Celestia shimmered onto the field in front of Sunset Shimmer with 3,500 Attack Points.

"Hey, I thought only I got to summon Princess Celestia!" Kaiba objected. "I thought that was an unspoken rule or something!"

"I thought you didn't care about the rules, Kaiba boy," Pegasus said.

"Well, I...uhh....umm..." Kaiba stammered.

"Enough of this! Celestia, destroy Trixie now!" Sunset Shimmer commanded.

Princess Celestia fired a beam of white light at Trixie on the field, when Kaiba flipped over his face-down card.

"I reveal my trap card, Negate Attack!" Kaiba shouted. Celestia's beam of light fizzled out of existence inches away from Trixie's face.

"Well, there's nothing else for me to do, so..." Sunset Shimmer gestured toward Kaiba.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. "Since I'm the president of the world's largest gaming corporation, I get to special summon anything I want. So I summon Obelisk the Tormentor!" Nothing happened. Had there been crickets in the gymnasium, everyone would've heard them chirp. Sunset Shimmer stifled a laugh.

Pegasus sighed and placed his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose. "Kaiba boy, there are two things wrong with that statement. First, you can't do that, and second, you don't even have Obelisk in your deck,"

Kaiba flipped through his deck. "Hmm...you're right. But it doesn't matter anyways. I'll just sacrifice Trixie Lulamoon in order to tribute summon Nightmare Moon to the field!"

A dark swirling portal came into being behind Trixie on the field, and a massive chariot piloted by Nightmare Moon and pulled by bat-winged ponies came out of the portal and ran Trixie over, dissolving her into shards of light. Nightmare Moon had 5,000 Attack Points. The gymnasium lights flickered as Nightmare Moon and Kaiba laughed manaically.

"Nightmare Moon? How did she come back?" Twilight Sparkle asked exasperatedly.

Marik turned to Yami Bakura, clutching his head with both hands. "Oh, we are so [EFF]'d Bakura!"

"Calm down, Marik," Yami Bakura reassured him. "When the time comes, I'll beat Kaiba in a card game, he'll be sent to the Shadow Realm, and then we can split a bottle of champagne and celebrate our victory,"

"I still think we're [EFF]'d," Marik said.

"And then, once we kill Yugi, we're going to rename this show to Bakura-Oh, and it shall be amazing," Yami Bakura added.

"What, not Marik-Oh?" Marik questioned.

"No, we're renaming the show to Bakura-Oh. Think about it, who would want to watch a show called Marik-Oh?" Yami Bakura said.

"I would!" Marik said.

"Of course you would," Yami Bakura responded.

"That's not all!" Kaiba slammed another card onto his play area. "I also activate the field spell Total Eclipse Of The Duel, raising Nightmare Moon's Attack Points and lowering Celestia's by 1,000!"

A holographic moon rose behind Kaiba, casting a shadow across the entire battlefield as Nightmare Moon's Attack Points rose to 6,000 and Celestia's plummeted to 2,500. Celestia's eyes widened, but she continued to hold her ground.

"What kind of Duelist Kingdom crap is this?!" Yugi interjected.

"Sunset Shimmer, just attack the moon!" Joey shouted.

"I'll get back to you on that, Joey!" Sunset Shimmer shouted back.

"I like yelling!" Marik yelled.

"Marik, keep it down. People here will think you're weird," Yami Bakura said.

"Ignore me!" Marik blurted out, as Yami Bakura sighed in exasperation.

Kaiba extended his hand towards Sunset Shimmer. "Now, Nightmare Moon, destroy Princess Celestia!"

Nightmare Moon shot a purple bolt of lightning from her horn at Celestia, shattering her and lowering Sunset Shimmer's Life Points to 4,500.

"That ends my turn!" Kaiba said.

"It's my turn!" Sunset Shimmer drew a card. "I summon Cheerilee in defense mode!"

Cheerilee shimmered into being in front of Sunset Shimmer, bouncing happily until she saw just who she had to go up against. When she saw Nightmare Moon, her eyes widened as she crouched down and covered her face with her front hooves, trying to make herself as small as possible. Cheerilee sported a respectable 2,000 Defense Points.

"I guess...that's it?" Sunset Shimmer said.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card and began to laugh. "You're finished! I activate my Sealed Away spell card, sending Cheerilee to the Graveyard!" Cheerilee shattered into shards of pink light and sailed over to Sunset Shimmer's Graveyard. Kaiba extended his hand towards Sunset Shimmer again. "Now, finish this Nightmare Moon!" Nightmare Moon shot another blast of purple lightning from her horn directly at Sunset Shimmer, her Life Points dropping to 0 as she staggered backwards.

"Looks like Kaiba boy wins again," Pegasus said.

Kaiba shrugged. "That wasn't even a challenge. But I guess when you're Seto Freakin' Kaiba, it just comes naturally,"

During the next duel between Joey and Aria Blaze, Mokuba burst through the gymnasium doors and ran up the bleachers to Yugi and his friends.

"Yugi! Yugi!" Mokuba tripped on one of the bleacher's steps. As he lay there, panting, he tried to recount what he saw. "Shadow...game...your...grandpa,"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down Mokuba!" Yugi said, as Mokuba got back up and his panting faded. "Now, tell us what happened,"

"Yugi, Seto challenged your grandpa to a duel, and then it turned into a Shadow Game! It seemed like he was possessed by something evil!" Mokuba said.

"He didn't happen to come upon any Millennium Items recently, did he?" Yugi asked.

"No, I think this was different. His eyes were red, with green irises and purple fire coming out of his tear ducts!"

Spike gasped. "We know a guy like that!"

"Wow, what are the odds?" Yugi asked rhetorically.

"Yugi, I think Kaiba's being possessed by the spirit of King Sombra, who must have been sent to the Shadow Realm when we blasted him with the Crystal Heart. This is really bad," Twilight Sparkle said.

"Makes about as much sense as everything else that's happened," Yugi said.

"The plot thickens!" Tristan added.

"Oh, and one more thing, about your grandpa..." Mokuba reached into his pocket, pulled out the card containing Sugoroku's soul, and handed it to Yugi.

"Grandpa!" Yugi called out to the unchanging card.

"Yugi! Hey, how's it going?" Sugoroku responded.

"Grandpa, how did this happen?" Yugi asked.

"Well, it all started when I was born..."

"No, I mean how did you get your soul trapped inside a trading card again?!" Yugi clarified.

"Oh, that. Yeah, turns out dueling someone possessed by the King of Shadows isn't a smart idea. I wouldn't recommend it," Sugoroku said. "Hey Yugi, who's your girlfriend over there? The one with the purple skin,"

Both Yugi's and Twilight's cheeks turned bright red. "Twilight Sparkle is not my girlfriend, okay Grandpa! She's just a princess from another dimension who needs our help!"

"Princess from another dimension, eh? Never thought I'd have royalty for in-laws, but..."

"Grandpa!" Yugi objected.

Sugoroku laughed. "Alright, I'll stop. But please hurry up with the whole rescuing me from this trading card thing, will you?"

"I'll get to that later, Grandpa," Yugi placed Sugoroku's card inside one of his coat pockets.

"Now I'm blind. Hooray!" Sugoroku said.

Author's Note

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never have

Chapter 10: Trixie vs. Bakura

"Attention duelists, the duel between Trixie Lulamoon and Ryou Bakura is about to begin! Also, my hair is infinitely better than Bakura's!"

"You take that back!" Yami Bakura pointed at the hair guy, baring his teeth.

"Never! Admit it, my unique hairstyle is better than your generic, I-just-got-out-of-bed messiness!" the hair guy said. Yami Bakura started growling at him.

"Let's move on, shall we?" Pegasus asked rhetorically.

Trixie and Yami Bakura started the duel with 8,000 Life Points each.

"I hope you didn't have any plans for today, Trixie, because whoever loses this duel gets their soul sent to the Shadow Realm!" Yami Bakura laughed as shadows began to envelop the battlefield.

"Bakura, you know Shadow Games are against the rules, right?" Pegasus said as his Millennium Eye glowed gold.

"Ugh, fine!" The shadows around the field dissipated.

"That's better!" Pegasus's Millennium Eye stopped glowing. "Now, can we finally get on with this?"

"I'll go first!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I'll set two cards face-down, then I'll activate my Night Of The Living Dead spell card, allowing me to summon three undead or fiend-type monsters from my deck to the field! I think I'll summon the Headless Knight, Pharynx The Changeling Warrior, and Chrysalis The Changeling Queen, all in attack mode!"

On Yami Bakura's right side, a suit of full-mail armor shimmered into being, conspicuously lacking a head, but wielding a massive sword and 1,450 Attack Points. Next to the headless knight, Chrysalis also shimmered into being on the field, Pharynx next to her, with 3,800 and 2,500 Attack Points respectively.

"Wait a minute!" Trixie said. "Did you just summon a bunch of-"

"Yes, I summoned a bunch of monsters in one turn. How very observant of you," Yami Bakura said annoyedly.

"I was just wondering, is all," Trixie said.

"Well wonder no more!" Yami Bakura said. "You know, in this situation, I think it'd be a crime not to sing 'Thriller' right about now,"

"Bakura, that song's copyrighted!" Pegasus interjected.

"Screw it, I'm singing! You can't stop the music, Pegasus!" Yami Bakura said.

Pegasus turned to the hair guy next to him. "Kemo, ready the censorship bleeps,"

"Yes, Mr. Pegasus sir," the hair guy said.

Because literature is a rather inconvenient format to put songs in, just imagine a dolphin chirping to the tune of the chorus of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' as Yami Bakura moved his mouth.

"Are you quite done?" Trixie asked.

"Huh? Oh, yes, I end my turn!" Yami Bakura said.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie shall take her turn now!" Trixie drew a card. "First, I'll play my Mystical Space Typhoon, to destroy one of your face-down cards!"

"Not so fast!" Yami Bakura flipped the face-down card on his left. "I activate my Continuous Trap, the Book Of The White! This card prevents you from destroying any of my spell or trap cards or negate their effects for as long as it's on the field! And the best part? It can only be removed from the field by a duelist who can read Greek!" Yami Bakura howled with laughter as Trixie clutched the sides of her head.

"Kids these days and their overpowered cards that reference other fictional works. Back in my day, spirits were brave, the stakes were high, cards were real cards, men were real men, and giant Ancient Egyptian dragons were real giant Ancient Egyptian dragons!" Sugoroku ranted.

"Nyeh, nobody wants to hear you rant about today's youth," Joey chastised.

"But I love ranting about today's youth!" Sugoroku protested.

"Then I'll summon my Shieldmaiden Caster in defense position!" Trixie said.

In front of Trixie, a woman with long blonde hair and donned in a flowing, lavender robe that dragged against the ground and with sleeves that ran past her hands rose to the field with 1,200 Defense Points

"I end my turn!" Trixie declared.

"It's my turn! I draw!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I really don't see how that's supposed to be a shield maiden, honestly. I mean, come on, twelve hundred defense points?! Are you insulting me?"

Trixie smirked. "Oh you'll see soon enough why she's called a shield maiden, Bakura."

"I doubt it," Yami Bakura extended his hand. "Now, Headless Knight, attack Trixie's Shieldmaiden!"

Headless Knight ran up to Shieldmaiden Caster and slashed diagonally with his sword, leaving Shieldmaiden Caster to shatter.

"Now that Shieldmaiden Caster's in the graveyard, her effect activates!" Trixie said. "Now I can special summon three Invisible Walls from my deck in defense position!"

The field remained identical, but now three invisible walls with 4,000 Defense Points each protected Trixie's Life Points.

Yami Bakura groaned in irritation. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," Trixie's smirk grew even more smug. "I told you you'd find out why she's a shield maiden."

"I guess this is a perfect time to activate my trap card, Destiny Board!" Yami Bakura flipped over his face-down card. above Yami Bakura's head, a ouija board engulfed in blue flame sparked into being, its glass planchette fixated on the letter 'D'. "If this card is not removed from the field within five turns, it will spell out the word 'death', and victory shall be mine! And with Book Of The White on the field, it can't be removed! Thus ends my turn!"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie shall take her turn now!" Trixie drew a card. "Hmm..."

"Got nothing in your hand, eh?" Yami Bakura inquired.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie always has a trick up her sleeve!" Trixie answered. "But yeah, I end my turn."

"It's my turn! I draw!" Yami Bakura drew a card, and the ouija board's planchette moved to the letter 'E', and with it another skull holding said letter 'E' came into existence. "I play the field spell Ruins Of Canterlot, raising all changeling monsters' Attack Points by 300!"

Yami Bakura's side of the field transformed into a crumbling city, where the remains of shops and abandoned carriages dot the landscape and clouds of dust billow in the wind. Pharynx now had 2,800 Attack Points and Chrysalis had 4,100.

"Pulling cards out of our ass, are we?" Pegasus asked. "Classy, Bakura."

"Now I'll attack one of your Invisible Walls with Queen Chrysalis!" Yami Bakura pointed at Trixie. "Chrysalis, attack now!"

Queen Chrysalis stepped forward and shot a powerful bolt of black and green lightning at the central Invisible Wall, shattering it.

"That ends my turn," Yami Bakura said.

"I...concede," Trixie hung her head in shame.

"Concede?! Whatever could you mean by that?" Yami Bakura asked.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie gives up. You win, Bakura," Trixie turned around and walked off.

"And the winner of this duel is Ryou Bakura!" Pegasus announced.

Yami Bakura placed his hands on his hips and chuckled. "You know, it's times like these I wish I had that button that says 'That was easy.',"

"What the hell did I just watch?" Yugi stared at the dueling field with a puzzled look on his face.

"Nyeh, I couldn't begin to tell ya' Yug'. Just duelists bein' weird, I guess." Joey shrugged.

Yami Bakura took his seat next to Marik on the bleachers.

"Kemo's right, you know. His insane hair spike is more stylish than your bed head," Marik said.

"Oh get stuffed, Marik!" Yami Bakura replied.

"I'm just saying," Marik held his hands up in front of his face.

Author's Note

Marik: And now for a little improv comedy.

Bakura: Marik, I never agreed to do this, why did you drag me onstage?

Marik: Shut up, Fluffy! We need to make this look good for the audience!

Bakura: Oh yes, we're going to entertain them with the author's notes. What a spiffing idea.

Marik: Hey, don't roll your eyes at me!

Bakura: Here's a better idea, why doesn't the writer come up with better duels?

Marik: He says they're coming in the next round of the tournament. He also says to stop breaking the fourth wall because its tacky.

Bakura: Well, I guess that's the end of our bit, then. Cheerio!

Marik: Wait, Bakura, come back! Uhhh...so what's the deal with airline food, am I right? Heh heh heh...ehh screw this, I'm out of here.

Chapter 11: Whatever Happened To The Pharaoh

"Attention duelists! The duel between Yugi Moto and Adagio Dazzle will begin in five minutes! I repeat, the duel between Yugi Moto and Adagio Dazzle will begin in five minutes!"

Lunch had just ended at Canterlot High, and students were only just beginning to pour back into the gym and onto the bleachers, including Yugi and his friends. The Rainbooms were nowhere to be seen, though.

"Good luck, Yug!" Joey said.

"Yeah, win this card game, Yugi!" Mokuba said.

"Hey thanks," Yugi walked down from the bleachers over to the dueling field, where Adagio stood prepared to duel. He held his Millennium Puzzle in his hands. "Okay Pharaoh, it's showtime!"

Go away! I don't want any of your Girl Scout cookies! Yami screamed hysterically in Yugi's mind.

"Excuse me?" Yugi looked at his Puzzle puzzledly.

I'm warning you, I have a shotgun and I'm not afraid to use it! Yami continued.

"Okay, guess you're not helping today. That's fine," Yugi met Adagio's utterly confused gaze. "It makes sense in context, I swear."

"I'm sure it does, but still..." Adagio stared off into space for about five seconds, then snapped back to reality. Luckily, gravity did not suddenly go away. "Anyways, prepare to-"

"Yeah, yeah, prepare to lose and be seen as a disgrace to all my friends and the whole world and blah blah blah," Yugi interrupted. "I've heard all this stuff before."

"O-okay then," Adagio was taken aback.

"Ooh, Yugi, who's this piece of work? Is she your girlfriend?" Sugoroku asked.

"Grandpa! Not every girl here is my girlfriend! Knock it off already!" Yugi yelled at his coat pocket until he noticed Adagio making her utterly confused look again. "Right, the duel."

"Attention duelists!" the hair guy was interrupted by the Rainbooms bursting the gym doors open, with Twilight Sparkle and Spike in tow.

Rainbow Dash panted hard, along with the other girls. "I-I think we made it, girls."

"Yeah, barely," Rarity pulled a hairbrush from her purse and brushed her hair. "You know, it's very hard to maintain my hairstyle at a full sprint, Rainbow Dash."

"Yugi! You can do this! Win this for all of Equestria!" Twilight cheered.

"Are those your cheerleaders, Yugi?" Adagio jeered.

"Well, I usually don't have this many, but yes, yes they are," Yugi replied.

The hair guy cleared his throat. "Attention duelists, the duel between Yugi Moto and Adagio Dazzle will now begin!"

As the Rainbooms walked to the bleachers, Yugi and Adagio posed, each glaring at the other as the dueling field shuffled their decks. Each duelist started with 8,000 Life Points, as has become standard.

"I'll go first!" Yugi drew a card. "First I'll set one card face down, and then I'll summon Rainbow Dash in attack position!"

Rainbow Dash appeared on the field with 2,500 Attack Points pawing at the ground, poised for takeoff.

Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that you're a trading card now."

"Oh. Cool!" Ranibow Dash responded.

"When am I going to become a trading card?" Pinkie whined. "Then I could plan parties for all of my trading card friends."

"Pinkie, it takes a special kind of person to become a trading card," Rainbow Dash gestured towards herself. "Obviously I'm the only one here cool enough to have the honor,"

"Yeah, because you're definitely trading card material, Rainbow Dash," Applejack rolled her eyes.

"That ends my turn!" Yugi said.

"Ooh, I see the baby panda has some fight in him. It's my turn!" Adagio drew a card. "First I'll play my Aquapolis field spell!"

The field began to glow faintly in a shade of light blue, with bleached-white ancient ruins and seaweed dotting the field.

"Aquapolis raises all Water monsters' attack by 500 and allows me to special summon one Siren monster per turn! So I think I'll summon my Siren Warrior Princess in attack position!"

In Adagio's central monster space rose a woman with arctic blue skin, a midnight blue bikini, and flowing golden hair. Siren Warrior Princess held a shark tooth spear in her right hand that was taller than she was, adorned with seashells and other assorted jewels, and had 3,500 Attack Points.

"Ooh, now that is what I call a DMILF," Sugoroku said.

"A DMILF?" Yugi raised an eyebrow.

"A Duel Monster I'd like to-"

"Okay, I've heard enough! You're staying on the inside of my coat from now on," Yugi proceeded to place his grandfather's card in a pocket in his coat interior.

"Wait, no! Cease this foolishness at once!" Sugoroku objected. "You can't stop true love, Yugi!"

Yugi looked up to see that Adagio was giving him yet another bewildered look. "Sorry, it's my grandpa. He's being distracting."

"Uhh, I don't see anybo-" Adagio said.

"I said it makes sense in context!" Yugi interrupted.

"Whatever. Siren Warrior Princess, attack Rainbow Dash!" Adagio extended her arm towards Yugi.

As Siren Warrior charged screaming at Rainbow Dash, Yugi flipped over his face-down card. "I activate my continuous trap, Tailwinds of Fate! This raises the attack points of pegasus monsters by 1,500 for as long as it's on the field!"

Siren Warrior Princess tried to impale Rainbow Dash with her shark-tooth spear, but earned herself a swift kick to the face when it was revealed that Rainbow Dash's Attack Points were was 4,000 instead of 2,500 and promptly dissolved. Adagio's Life Points went down to 7,500.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Adagio cried out.

"Them's the breaks, I guess." Yugi shrugged his shoulders.

"Rrgh, I end my turn!" Adagio said.

"It's my turn! I draw!" Yugi drew a card. "First, I'll play my Butterfly Island field spell!"

On Yugi's side of the field, an island shaped like a butterfly with a rainbow shimmered into being, with colorful dots fluttering around it.

"Butterfly Island allows me to special summon one pegasus monster per turn, so I summon Star Catcher in attack position!" Yugi shouted.

Next to Rainbow Dash, a white pegasus with a mane and tail colored blue, white, and pink flew up from the floor of the field, sporting 3,500 Attack Points.

"So many pegasus cards," Pegasus fanned himself with his hand. "I must say, I'm flattered, Yugi boy."

"Now!" Yugi extended his arm towards Adagio. "Rainbow Dash, Star Catcher, attack her Life Points directly!"

Rainbow Dash and Star Catcher took off, assaulting Adagio directly and depleting her Life Points to 0.

"NOOOOOO!" Adagio clutched her skull. "How?! How did this happen twice in a row?!"

"Well, surprise surprise, Yugi boy wins," Pegasus said.

"Yug', you did it! Great job!" Joey gave Yugi a high five as he ran up the bleachers.

"Anything's possible when you're the main character," Yugi sat down next to Joey and held his hands behind his head.

"Say Yug'," Joey leaned in close to Yugi and whispered into his ear. "What do you say we get out of here and see what this city is really like?"

"Ooh, can I come too?" Mokuba asked.

"Shut up, Mokuba," Yugi and Joey said simultaneously.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Yami Bakura placed both of his hands on his biceps. "Well that ended quickly."

"Says the guy who can't even cross his arms properly!" Marik retorted.

"Marik...what does that have to do with anything?" Yami Bakura asked.

"I like pudding!" Marik cheered.

"So you do," Yami Bakura shook his head. "Anyways, we should probably get on with the plan."

"The plan?" Marik asked. "Oh yes! The plan! Yes, let's get on with that, shall we?" Marik and Yami Bakura got up and walked down the bleachers out of the gym.

Yugi and Mokuba walked down the hallways, eyes darting from wall to wall as they passed yet another intersection.

"Yugi, are we lost?" Mokuba asked.

"We're not lost, Mokuba," Yugi answered as he looked around for Joey, or really anyone he could recognize. " Okay, we're lost. How did this even happen? We were with Joey not even two minutes ago!"

Marik peeked his head from one of the corners Yugi and Mokuba just passed. "Excellent!" he pulled a walkie-talkie from his jean pocket. "It's time, gentlemen. Kick Yugi's ass!"

At the next intersection, Snips and Snails caught the gaze of Yugi and Mokuba. They were punching their palms while sporting teeth-baring grins.

"Uh, hey guys. Could you show us the way to an exit?" Yugi asked.

"Oh, you'll find the exit alright," Snips said.

"Yeah, when you wake up in the hospital," Snails added.

"You know, because we're going to beat you up?" Snips said.

"Don't explain the joke, buttmunch!" Snails elbowed his partner.

Yugi looked down at his Millennium Puzzle. "Pharaoh, I could really use your help right now!"

Stone Soldier, destroy the Moon... Yami slurred his words like he was drunk.

"Okay, never mind," Yugi put up his fists, as did Mokuba.

"You're not getting out of this one!" Snails charged at Yugi, fist extended, but Yugi simply ducked, punched him squarely in the gut, and then kicked him in the groin, knocking him on his back. Snips charged at Mokuba, fist extended, with the exact same strategy, but Mokuba swept him off his feet and kicked him hard in the ribs repeatedly.

"Ow, ow! We surrender!" Snips put his hands up.

"Uuuuugh...I thought this would be easy," Snails groaned.

"That was the worst fight scene I have ever had the dishonor of being a part of," Mokuba said.

"Come on Mokuba, let's find the others," Yugi and Mokuba kept walking, leaving Snips and Snails groaning in pain on the floor behind them.

After witnessing the curb-stomp battle from behind the scenes, Marik whipped out his cell phone from his other jean pocket, punched in a number, and held it up to his ear.

"Bakura..." Marik began. "We kind of...failed with the whole beating the crap out of Yugi thing. Now I've got two nearly unconscious henchmen I don't know what to do with."

Yami Bakura placed his index finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose. "Honestly, I expected this with you. Which is why the Dazzlings and I were busy kidnapping Sunset Shimmer ahead of schedule."

"Seriously?" Marik asked.

"Yes. Turns out she actually lives in the clock tower where we're staying. Who knew?" Yami Bakura said.

"That's mighty convenient for us," Marik said.

"By the way, don't you have a duel in like ten minutes?" Yami Bakura asked.

Marik's eyes widened. "Oh [EFF]! I completely forgot about that! I'm going to have to call you back, Bakura," Marik hung up his phone and sprinted back to the gymnasium.

Author's Note

Just letting you know, if there are any one-shots you'd like to see from me, Yu-Gi-Oh related or otherwise, just let me know and I shall do them to the best of my abilities.

Chapter 12: Ransom, As Done By Marik Ishtar

Author's Note

Yeah, this one's a long boi. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 12: Ransom, As Done By Marik Ishtar

Marik looked up at the clock tower that lay erect just off the west wing of Canterlot High. It looked old and in a general state of disrepair, as if it hadn't had maintenance done on it for decades. Some of the boards making up the tower have even disappeared entirely, worn away by constant exposure to the elements. The clock itself had Roman numerals on it, which Marik couldn't read, but then again he couldn't really read any analog clocks. He noticed that the short hand pointed towards 'IV' and the long one towards 'III' and wondered if that meant anything important. Yep, that's certainly a clock tower alright, he thought as he opened the door to the tower.

The inside looked even worse than the outside. The so-called 'room' comprised of a single decrepit spiral staircase with cobwebs lingering in between each stair. Mold grew freely on the floors and walls, and the whole 'room' smelled of mildew. Marik was not impressed, but he walked up the stairs anyways.

At the top of the stairs, he saw an unconscious Sunset Shimmer bound to a old tattered armchair. Behind her, the clock's gears kept on tick-ticking away. Marik thought it made a suspenseful beat. Then again, he's Marik. Yami Bakura and the Dazzlings were tightening the black bonds on Sunset Shimmer's hands and feet holding her to the chair as she lay with her head to one side, mouth slightly hung open, her leather jacket and jeans slightly scratched and torn. A neatly stacked pile of Duel Monsters cards lay next to the armchair.

"Alright, girls, I think that'll do for now. Go plot evil or whatever Sirens do on a typical Thursday night," Yami Bakura waved the Dazzlings away, who promptly left for the stairs. "So, Marik, did you get Twilight Sparkle's phone number?"

"Oh frig! I didn't!" Marik hung his head, pouting.

"Bloody typical. I suppose we can see if Sunset Shimmer's phone has her number," Yami Bakura said.

"Yes, let's do the thing you just said!" Marik looked around Sunset Shimmer. "Um, where is it?"

Yami Bakura smiled and flicked his hand and a cellphone that was not there before appeared. "Right here."

"How did you do that?" Marik asked incredulously. "And why does Twilight Sparkle even have a phone number? Isn't she from another dimension?"

"Magic. The explanation is always magic," Yami Bakura handed Marik the phone.

"Makes sense," Marik turned the phone on and started tapping through it when Sunset Shimmer began to stir from her unconsciousness. She expressed visible concern at having been tied to a chair by two boys, one of whom was going through her cellphone.

"Trust me, this is not what it looks like," Yami Bakura said.

"This is exactly what it looks like! I am the straightest pervert on this side of the International Date Line!" Marik shouted.

"Yes, and I'm the headmaster of Crystal Prep," Yami Bakura replied sarcastically.

"Silence, kitty!" Marik shouted as he started to dial Twilight Sparkle's phone number.

Yami Bakura placed his hands on his biceps. "Honestly, you act like you do a good job of hiding it."

"A good job of hiding what?! My disdain for your improper arm crossing?" Marik began to mimic Yami Bakura. "'Oh, my name is Bakura, and I'm too much of a hipster to cross my arms properly or even consider having a hairstyle other than bed head.'"

"Oh, come on, you know I rock the bed head look," Yami Bakura said.

It was at that moment that Sunset Shimmer realized exactly what kind of utter lunatics were holding her hostage.

Twilight held her cell phone up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle. It is I, the vile, despicable..." Yami Bakura gave Marik a look that said 'Don't screw this up, you bloody tosser.'. "Erm...Malik Blishtar," Marik tried his best to sound convincing as Yami Bakura facepalmed in sheer disappointment. "Yes, that's my name."

"Malik Blishtar? That's seriously your name?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, don't wear it out," Marik said.

"That name sounds awfully similar to Marik Ishtar," Twilight pointed out.

"Foolish fool! I am not Marik Ishtar, for I am Malik Blishtar, as I have said already," Marik said. "I heard Marik Ishtar is extremely sexy though."

Yami Bakura cried out in pain. "Marik, she bit me!"

"Keep quiet, Fluffy! I'm talking on the phone!" Marik yelled. "Anyways, I am doing extremely evil things that are evil! Like, um, punching chairs!" Twilight giggled uncontrollably.

Yami Bakura stormed after Marik. "Okay, clearly you can't talk to girls. Hand me the phone!" Yami Bakura snatched the phone out of Marik's hand and cleared his throat, preparing to speak.

"Hey!" Marik objected.

"Hello, Twilight," Yami Bakura said in a sinister tone. "I have called to inform you that Sunset Shimmer is having some...difficulties."

"What?" Twilight was just confused now.

"She's a bit...tied up at the moment," Yami Bakura continued.

"What?" Twilight became even more confused.

"We're holding her hostage at the clock tower!" Yami Bakura blurted out exasperatedly.

"Oh." Twilight realized what was going on and her eyes widened. "Oh!"

"Yes, we're holding her hostage, and we're going to, er...cut her fingers off and mail them to you?" Marik nodded at Yami Bakura. "Yes, we're going to do that!" Twilight gasped, and Sunset tried to break free of the bonds holding her to the chair. "Of course, all of this could be prevented with the low, low payment of one shiny Millennium Puzzle. I shall expect it at the clock tower by tomorrow morning," Yami Bakura hung up the phone, leaving Twilight on the verge of tears.

"Hey, Yug'," Joey began. "How did the hipster burn his mouth?"

Yugi sighed. "How, Joey?"

"He drank his coffee before it was cool!" Joey laughed uproariously, as did Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Rainbow Dash and Applejack simply rolled their eyes before going back to their game. Fluttershy wasn't listening, as she had been conversing with Tea about friendship nonstop for five hours, and Tristan was lying on an air mattress on the floor next to Pinkie's bed staring up at the ceiling.

Pinkie Pie's bedroom was filled with posters. One was for some comedian Yugi and his friends had never heard of. Another had only multicolored balloons and confetti on it.

"Hey, I never saw these posters before, Pinkie Pie. What's up with that?" Yugi asked.

"They weren't described before, silly! How could you have?" Pinkie replied.

"Okay..."

Suddenly, Twilight burst into the room with a crazed look and tears streaming down her face.

"Twilight, dear, what's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"They've got Sunset Shimmer and they want Yugi's puzzle!' Twilight flopped on the bed, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Twilight, sugar, you've got to calm down," Applejack crawled onto the bed and rubbed Twilight's forehead.

"I can't calm down! Marik and Bakura have taken Sunset Shimmer hostage!" Twilight shouted. "We need to call the police or something!"

"The police?!" Yugi guffawed at the idea. "Twilight, if we could call the police against these kinds of people, Duelist Kingdom never would've happened."

"Then what are we supposed to do?!" Twilight flailed her arms wildly.

"Relax, I'm a professional tough guy," Joey stood up. "You send me in there, you'll have Sunset Shimmer back by the end of the night."

"I find that a bit hard to believe." Yugi also stood up. "If he's going, I'm going too. Joey needs someone to keep him from being an idiot after all..."

Joey shook his fist at Yugi. "Nyeh, I do not!"

"Yugi, you can't go," Fluttershy objected. "They're after your Millennium Puzzle. You should stay here where it's safe."

"Relax. If I'm in danger, I'll just beat one or both of them in a card game. No big deal." Yugi shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

"I want to go too! This will be just like the ending to Daring Do And The Jewel Of Infinite Brilliance!" Rainbow Dash squealed with excitement.

"Well I guess we've got our crew assembled," Applejack said.

Yugi, I'm back! Yami's translucent form appeared next to Yugi. Finally recovered from that pizza hangover. So, what did I miss?

"You missed a lot of things, Pharaoh!" Yugi saw everyone stare at him with puzzled looks on their faces. "Sorry, it's just the Pharaoh's being annoying!"

How am I being annoying?! You're the one who's short!

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Yugi screamed.

"Why don't you just go?" Twilight asked, to which Yugi, Joey, and Rainbow Dash happily complied.

Tea shook Tristan, having recently finished her conversation with Fluttershy. "Tristan, can we talk in the kitchen? It's about screen time."

"Ooh, can I come too?" Spike asked, wagging his tail.

"Yeah, whatever," Tea, Tristan and Spike left Pinkie Pie's bedroom and climbed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Honestly, I don't feel like we're getting as much screen time as we used to," Tea said. "It's like the universe just forgot that we exist."

"I haven't even been mentioned in like six chapters!" Spike said exasperatedly.

"It's okay guys, I have a plan for how we can get more screen time!" Tristan pointed to the sky like he had a massive revelation about the meaning of life.

"So we should do the opposite of everything you say, got it," Tea said.

"Alright, here's my plan," Tristan said. "We're going to save Sunset Shimmer!"

"That's your plan?" Spike covered his face with his paw. "Yugi, Joey, and Rainbow Dash are already doing that!"

"Yes, but we're going to do it better!" Tristan dropped down from the counter top and started to pace around it, hands clasped behind his back. "So here's what we do. We're going to pretend to be pizza delivery guys and deliver Marik and Bakura a pizza, only the box will be empty, forcing them to release Sunset Shimmer."

"That's not a plan! That's just a random collection of words!" Tea smacked her forehead, as did Spike.

"Exactly!" Tristan pointed at the sky again like he thought he was clever.

"Well, it's not like we have any better ideas, so let's just go with it, why not?" Tea conceded.

Marik was dozing near the door frame when he heard a knock at the door. He stretched his arms and legs out and opened the door. "Ah, I see you've caved in to our dema- SETO KAIBA?!" Marik stared up at a man who looked far too old to be in high school, and yet still was. Kaiba's white trench coat billowed, despite the lack of any wind. "How the frig did you get here?! And why?!"

Kaiba pushed past Marik and began climbing the stairs, looking back with a smirk on his face. "I'm a rich computer nerd with way too much time on my hands. Does this really need to be explained?"

"Yes! Explain it to me now!" Marik demanded.

"Well, I intercepted your phone call, obtained your phone's model number, hacked into its GPS, and pinpointed exactly where you were,"

"But that was only like half a frigging hour ago!" Marik was extremely confused.

"I'm Seto Kaiba, I can do things like that," he said, as if that was supposed to give any answers.

"But, but..." Marik clutched his head with both hands and fell on his knees. "...but that doesn't make any [EFF]ing sense!"

"Think about it," Kaiba continued up the staircase. When he reached the top, he was immediately greeted with the sight of Sunset Shimmer struggling with her bonds as Yami Bakura practiced his evil laugh. Kaiba noticed the deck of Duel Monsters cards beside Sunset's armchair, presumably hers as almost every other duelist carries their deck with them at all times. "Hm, whose deck is this?"

"It's mine! Don't touch it!" Sunset struggled against her bonds.

"Why did you just leave her cards on the floor?" Kaiba asked Yami Bakura.

"Oh, those are just there to torture her," Yami Bakura tapped his fingers together and cackled madly.

Kaiba narrowed his eyes. "You don't know how torture works, do you?"

"Yes I do!" Yami Bakura thrust his thumb into his heart. "I'm the master of torture!"

"In that case, I'm sure you won't mind me taking this," Kaiba knelt down and picked up Sunset's deck.

"Kaiba, no!" Sunset once again tried and failed to writhe out of her bonds.

"Kaiba, yes!" Kaiba slipped Sunset's deck into one of his trench coat's pocket and walked away laughing.

"I'm sorry, Kaiba, but we were planning on selling those cards on eBay," Yami Bakura held his cupped hand out, like a loan shark expecting payment. "So hand them over now, if you value your well-being."

"And if I were to decline?" Kaiba asked.

Yami Bakura punched his open palm. "Then I suppose things are going to get a bit...ugly."

"Bring it."

Yami Bakura's had his Millennium Ring point its appendages at Kaiba. Five teal lasers fired at Kaiba, but they all curved away from him and fizzled out. "Wait, huh?"

Kaiba laughed triumphantly. "Did you really think that would be enough to take down Seto Freakin' Kaiba?!,"

"B-b-but how?" Yami Bakura stammered as he stepped back, flabbergasted.

Kaiba punched Yami Bakura square in the face. "Seto Kaiba, second to none!" He strolled down the stairs before Marik could realize what was going on. Marik was still downstairs clutching his head, extremely confused as to how Kaiba got there in the first place. Wow, that sounded extremely cool, he thought. I should make that into a catchphrase...nah, screw it!

Yami, Joey, and Rainbow Dash saw Kaiba saunter out of the clock tower, looking extremely pleased with himself.

"What's Kaiba so happy about?" Joey asked. "Did he finally have sex with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon?"

"How would one have sex with a trading card?" Yami asked.

"Yeah, that sounds just a bit impossible," Rainbow added.

"He's Kaiba, he'd probably find a way to do it with holograms and all that crap," Joey saw Kaiba glance in their direction and instinctively ducked back down behind the bush.

Those losers are talking about me, Kaiba thought as he continued walking. They're probably here to save their friend. Like a bunch of losers. I like saying that word, 'loser'. It makes me feel cool.

"Alright, let's move out," Yami said.

Marik was still trying to understand exactly how Kaiba managed to track him and Yami Bakura down in a mere half hour when another knock came at the door. He greeted Yugi, Joey, and Rainbow Dash with a cheeky grin on his face. "Ah, welcome gentlemen and...not a gentleman. I trust that you've come here to give us your Millennium-" Joey punched Marik in the face, knocking him unconscious instantly.

"Joey, you're doing this all wrong! You're supposed to ask him where Sunset Shimmer is, then punch him," Yami said.

"Oh. Well don't I feel like an idiot?" Joey picked the unconscious Marik up by the collar of his light pink hoodie. "Where is Sunset Shimmer?!" Joey then proceeded to punch Marik again.

"Yeah, I don't think it's going to work this time, Joey," Yami snarked.

"She's probably up these stairs guys, let's go!" Rainbow Dash ran for the staircase, but halted dead in her tracks when she heard someone else coming down.

"Marik, my gaydar's acting up, what's going o-" Yami Bakura strolled down the staircase and saw that his Millennium Ring was pointing directly at Rainbow Dash. He looked at the Ring, then at Rainbow Dash, then at the Ring, then at Rainbow Dash again. "Okay, that explains the hair."

"Bakura!" Yami pointed at Yami Bakura. "Give us back our friend right now!"

"Or what, you're going to challenge me to a children's card game?" Yami Bakura asked.

"Yes!" Yami replied.

Yami Bakura flicked his tongue. "Come and get me then!" He ran back up the stairs.

"Get him!" Rainbow Dash charged up the stairs after Yami Bakura, Yami and Joey hot on her heels. When they arrived at the top of the stairs, they saw Sunset Shimmer tied to a chair by her hands and feet, her leather jacket and jeans slightly torn and sweat dripping on her forehead. Yami Bakura laughed maniacally next to her.

Yami pointed at Yami Bakura again. "Unhand her you fiend!"

"You and what army, Pharaoh?" Yami Bakura kept laughing until Joey charged forward and punched him in the face. He fell limp as Joey gave the thumbs-up.

"Well that was easy," Yami said.

"Thanks guys, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm still bound to this chair," Sunset Shimmer yet again struggled against her bonds. "See?"

"Relax, sweetheart, I got this," Joey pulled a switchblade from his green jacket and cut Sunset's bonds on her hands and feet.

Sunset sprang free and spontaneously hugged Joey, causing the switchblade to fall from his hands. "Thank you guys! Thank you so much!"

"Nyeh, you're welcome," Joey blushed and returned the hug.

"I'm still confused on where that switchblade came from," Yami said. "I mean, did he always have it or what?"

"Magic," Rainbow Dash replied.

"Ah, I see."

Tea, Tristan, and Spike were hiding in the same bush Yami, Joey, and Rainbow Dash were hiding in before, and they were bored, extremely bored. When they saw Yami, Joey, Sunset Shimmer, and Rainbow Dash walk out of the clock tower, laughing among themselves, they decided that being heroes wasn't worth it, and went back home.

"Man, I thought my plan would work for sure," Tristan said,

"It was kind of up in the air," Tea replied.

As they were walking home, they ran into the Dazzlings, and both groups met each other's eyes, blinking at each other for a good thirty seconds before one of them said something.

"Who the hell are you guys?" Adagio asked.

"Who the hell are we?" Tristan thrust his thumb into his heart. "We're the A-Team!"

"No we're not," Tea said.

"Shut your mouth, I'm trying to talk tough!" Tristan reprimanded.

"Oh, is that what you're doing?" Spike asked.

"Hey, Adagio," Aria whispered into Adagio's ear. "This would be a perfect time to test out our powers.:

"Oh, yeah, our powers," Adagio rubbed her hands together. "Alright girls, one, two, a-one two three four!" The Dazzling started to sing in perfect harmony with one another, causing Tea and Spike to fall into a trance. Tristan remained unaffected though.

"My voice gives me super-strength!" Tristan effortlessly picked up Adagio and threw her against her posse, then dragged Tea and Spike with him. "Come on, guys! We've got to get out of here!"

Tea and Spike broke out of their trances and started to book it with Tristan. "How did you do that?" Tea asked.

"I have no idea!" Tristan responded.

"Typical," Spike said.

The Dazzlings were all rubbing their foreheads, confused about what just happened.

"Maybe we didn't sing high enough?" Sonata suggested.

"No, it worked, it's just that we happened to go against the one person in the entire universe unaffected by our singing!" Adagio started to kick various random objects very angrily.

"Typical," Aria said.

Chapter 13: The Second Council Of Villains

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 14: Indignation From The Most Populous Borough of New York City

"Attention duelists, the duel between Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler will begin in five minutes! I repeat, the duel between Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler will begin in five minutes!"

Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler stood ready, Joey looking confident, pehaps overly so, and Kaiba with an indignant scowl on his face as crowds that filled the bleachers looked on. Yugi, his friends, and the Rainbooms save Rarity watched on with eager anticipation.

"Just my luck, Dorkfest continues," Kaiba said.

"Looks like this is the end of the line for ya, Kaiba!" Joey remarked. "'Cause I'm taking ya down right here, right now!"

"Please, Wheeler, I can kick your ass six ways to Sunday blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back. What makes you think you have a chance?" Kaiba boasted.

"Well, ya see, I've got the Heart of the Cards on my side and-"

"Oh yes, the Heart of the Cards," Kaiba interrupted. "I suppose next you're going to harp on about the power of friendship and how it's stronger than any other force in the universe and blah blah blah. But what did I really expect from a chronic loser like you?" Joey was getting very annoyed by this point.

"Is he always like this?" Twilight asked.

"Pretty much, yes," Yugi answered.

That Kaiba kid really needs to get laid, Sugoroku said.

"Big time," Yugi nodded at his coat pocket.

"Why are we even watching this? These duels show no class whatsoever," Rarity complained. "They're just two people screaming at each other until one of them loses. If I wanted to watch that, I'd go back to working at retail."

"Rarity, come on, we're supporting our friends here. Even if we did meet them only two days ago," Applejack said.

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Also, come on, it's fun! Nothing wrong with a bit of fun, is there?"

"I'm always down for some fun! Whoo, go Joey! You can do this!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Yeah, come on Joey! He stole my deck and he shall pay for it!" Sunset added.

"Ya see, Kaiba? With my friends cheering for me, I can do anything! Even beat you in a card game!" Joey boasted confidently.

"I'm sure you won't be saying that when my Blue-Eyes White Dragons eat you for lunch, Wheeler, because it's time to duel!" Kaiba shuffled his deck.

"Well jeez, ya didn't need to be so graphic there, Kaiba!" Joey also shuffled his deck.

"Yes I did!" Kaiba set his deck down.

"Attention duelists! The duel between Seto Kaiba and Joey Wheeler is about to begin!"

"The first move shall be decided with a coin flip!" Pegasus pulled a coin from his pants pocket.

"That's a first," Kaiba snarked.

"Hush now, Kaiba boy," Pegasus said. "Now, each duelist make your bets!"

"I'm betting on heads, because I'm always ahead of the game!" Joey looked to the bleachers for validation for his joke, but there was none to be found. The gymnasium was so silent that, were there crickets, you could've heard them chirping.

"Wheeler..."

"Yeah, that joke was...very bad," Pegasus said.

"Then I guess I'm betting on tails, because once I'm through with you, Wheeler, I'm going to throw you through the tail end of a jet engine!" Kaiba threatened.

Pegasus threw his coin into the air and slapped it onto his palm. "It's tails, so Kaiba boy goes first!"

Each duelist drew their first five cards and started off with their standard 8,000 Life Points.

"I'll go first!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I'll place one card face down, then I'll summon the mighty Bulk Biceps in attack position!"

An extremely muscular white pegasus with tiny wings appeared on the field, flexing his muscles. He had 2,500 Attack Points.

"And thus ends my turn," Kaiba said.

"It's my turn!" Joey drew a card. "Get a load of this, Kaiba! I'll set one card face down, then I'll summon Babs Seed in attack position!"

Babs Seed appeared on the field, at first looking confident, but then quickly becoming cowed by her massive opposition. She had 1,500 Attack Points.

"Summoning a monster with fewer Attack Points to fight me with?" Kaiba smirked. "Extremely bold strategy, Wheeler."

"I'm just getting started. Next I'll activate my Continuous Spell, Brooklyn Rage!" Joey declared.

"Brooklyn what now?" Kaiba asked, confusedly.

"Brooklyn Rage is a spell card that doubles the Attack Points of every New York monster on the field," Joey explained as steam began to fly out of Babs Seed's ears and her Attack Points climbed to 3,000. "Looks like you're out of luck, Kaiba. Babs Seed, attack!"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Kaiba flipped over his face down card. "You've activated my trap card, Waboku! This card negates all battle damage and destruction for one turn!"

"Nyehh...guess my turn's over then," Joey conceded.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I'll activate my Pot of Greed magic card! It allows me to-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it allows you to draw two cards. Get on with it already," Joey interrupted.

Kaiba drew two cards. "I honestly didn't expect you to know what that card did. After all, Wheeler, you couldn't even out-duel a bag of rocks. Now I'll sacrifice Bulk Biceps in order to tribute summon the ultimate monster to the field!" the gymnasium lights dimmed slightly, and some purple clouds began to swirl around the dueling field. "Come forth, King Sombra!"

Bulk Biceps was consumed by a cloud of darkness before he even knew what hit him. From this cloud, King Sombra trotted forth, a shark-toothed grin on his face, extreme malice in his red eyes, and two Crystal Ponies at his side.

"There he is! There's King Sombra!" Twilight pointed out.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Sunset Shimmer snarked.

"Now, King Sombra, annihilate Joey's monster!" Kaiba commanded.

"Hold up!" Joey flipped over his face-down card. "You've activated my trap card, Skull Dice! Whatever I roll on this die, your monster's Attack Points get divided by that number."

A tiny fairy-like creature with no facial features, save for two black dots that are allegedly its eyes, and clad in a pink top hat appeared floating in front of Joey holding a massive red die. It dropped the red die onto the floor of the dueling field, landing on a two, causing Sombra's Attack Points to plummet to 2,500.

"Wait, no!" Sombra fired a bolt of black and purple lightning at Babs Seed, causing her to stagger back a bit, but nothing else. Babs Seed then pawed at the ground and charged Sombra, punching him in the side of the head with her hoof with a fury only a Manehattanite could muster. King Sombra shattered and Kaiba's Life Points went down to 7,500.

"Now what were ya saying about me dueling worse than a bag of rocks?" Joey asked smugly.

Kaiba pounded his fist and grunted in annoyance. "I end my turn," he said.

"Everything's coming up Joey today. It's my turn!" Joey drew a card. "Now I'll summon Coco Pommel in attack position!"

Coco Pommel appeared on the field, trying to hide from the crowds looking on.

"And due to Brooklyn Rage, her attack points get doubled!"

Coco Pommel suddenly became very angry, with steam firing out of her ears, as her Attack Points climbed to 3,000.

"Take this!" Joey pointed at Kaiba. "Babs Seed, Coco Pommel, attack Kaiba's Life Points directly!"

Babs Seed and Coco Pommel carried their orders out with great enthusiasm, charging Kaiba and lowering his Life Points to 1,500.

"Nyeh heh heh, I end my turn. Let's see what you have up your sleeve, Kaiba," Joey crossed his arms confidently.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. "First I play Monster Reborn, calling King Sombra back to the field in attack mode!"

Another swirling cloud of darkness appeared on the field, and out trotted King Sombra, shark-toothed grin, two Crystal Ponies, and all, back onto the field with 5,000 Attack Points.

"Next I'll play my two Twinkle Wish spell cards, summoning two Blue-Eyes White Dragons to the field!"

With silhouettes of pure white light, two Blue-Eyes White Dragons rose up on either side of King Sombra, with 3,000 Attack Points each.

"Listen closely, Wheeler, because here comes the best part. Now I activate Polymerization in order to summon the monster that shall cause your ultimate defeat! Come forth, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

Kaiba's Blue-Eyes' began to glow white, transforming into a much larger monster. By the time the light faded, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon, with all of her three heads and 4,500 Attack Points, hovered just beside Sombra.

Kaiba laughed maniacally, somewhat drunk on power. "Now, wipe Joey's monsters off the field!"

Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon fire beams of white lightning from her three maws directly at Babs Seed, overwhelming her and causing her to shatter. King Sombra then fired a bolt of black and purple lightning at Coco Pommel, with a similar result. Joey's Life Points dropped to 4,500.

"No! This can't be happening!" Sunset Shimmer shouted.

"But it is happening, you're watching it right now," Rainbow Dash pointed out.

Kaiba laughed again. "And thus ends another flawless turn."

I don't exactly like my odds, Joey thought. But if I could just draw something good here... "It's my turn!" Joey drew a card. Heh heh, perfect! "I play my Time Wizard in attack position!"

A goofy looking anthropomorphic clock, with giant googly eyes, a massive scepter with a clock on the end, and clad in a stage magician's cape appeared on the field. It only had 500 Attack Points.

"Now I'll activate Time Wizard's effect! Go, Time Roulette!"

Above Time Wizard, there popped into existence a giant spinner divided into six pieces, three with a skull on them and three with what seemed to be a hand giving the thumbs up. The spinner spun and spun and...it landed on thumbs up! Time Wizard pointed his clock scepter at Kaiba's monsters, with its hands spinning like time was accelerating. King Sombra and Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon promptly shattered there and then.

"No!" Kaiba staggered backwards, eyes widened in shock.

"Oh yes, Kaiba! Now, Time Wizard, attack his Life Points directly!" Joey commanded.

Time Wizard fired a beam of light from his clock scepter, lowering Kaiba's Life Points to 1,000.

"I end my turn. You're up to bat, Kaiba," Joey said.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card, then smirked confidently. "I activate my third Twinkle Wish card, returning Monster Reborn from my Graveyard back into my hand!"

"Oh no..." Joey knew what was in stock for him.

"And now, for the grand finale, here comes King Sombra!"

Yet another cloud of swirling darkness appeared on the field. King Sombra, with his two Crystal Ponies, his shark-toothed grin, you know, the works, appeared on the field with 5,000 Attack Points.

Kaiba pointed in Joey's direction. "Now, attack Joey's Time Wizard and finish this!"

King Sombra fired a black and purple bolt of lightning at Joey's Time Wizard, shattering it near instantaneously and sending Joey flying. Joey landed on his butt about five feet away from the dueling field, smoking lightly as he lay defeated.

"Joey!" Yugi called out.

"And the winner of this duel is Seto Kaiba! Congratulations, Kaiba boy," Pegasus congratulated.

Kaiba laughed triumphantly. "Oh, it feels good to be the main antagonist again!"

"Oh, we'll see about that, Kaiba," Yami Bakura rose from the bleachers to take his place in the next duel.

Author's Note

Marik: And now an exclusive interview with the man himself, Seto Kaiba!

Kaiba: Marik, how the hell did you get in my hotel room?

Marik: The Millennium Rod makes a surprisingly good lockpick.

Kaiba: But the locks are all electronic.

Marik: Oh...yes well, uhh...a wizard did it!

Kaiba: Oh, I see.

Marik: Anyways, you won that card game against Joey Wheeler. Congratulations!

Kaiba: Could've done it in my sleep...

Marik: What are your strategies for the rest of the tournament, if you don't mind me asking?

Kaiba: I'm going to use the same strategy I've employed since the day I was born. Win. I'm going to win, and then win, and then screw the rules a bit, and then win some more. Now get the hell out of my room, you're getting in the way of my winning.

Marik: But you're just sitting on the bed watching Rescue at Midnight Castle...

Kaiba: I said get out!

Chapter 15: In Which Yami Bakura Laughs As He Plays A Card Game

"Attention duelists, the duel between Flash Sentry and Ryou Bakura will begin in two minutes! I repeat, the duel between Flash Sentry and Ryou Bakura will begin in two minutes!"

Flash Sentry stood prepared, even excited, to duel, while Yami Bakura just looked done with everything.

"I guess it's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel, eh?" Flash said.

"You're not Yugi or Kaiba, therefore I do not care," Yami Bakura replied.

"I'll take that as a yes," Flash said.

"It's time to flip the coin!" Pegasus announced.

"Say, Pegasus, just out of curiosity, what would happen if I used my shadow magic to influence the outcome of that coin flip?" Yami Bakura asked.

"I'd have you disqualified for cheating, why?" Pegasus answered.

"Just checking," Yami Bakura said.

"I'll bet on heads!" Flash said.

"I guess I'm betting on tails," Yami Bakura said with much less enthusiasm.

Pegasus flipped the coin into the air, and it landed on tails. "So Flash here will be going first!"

"Attention duelists, the duel between Flash Sentry and Ryou Bakura will now begin!"

"It's my turn!" Flash drew a card. "First I'll set one card face down, then I'll summon Megan, Savior of Worlds in attack position!"

What Flash summoned to the field was not so much a monster as it was a ten year old girl, dressed like a farmhand with her blonde hair tied back in a ponytail and a serious, no-nonsense look on her face. She had 1,500 Attack Points.

"Going old school, are we?" Yami Bakura raised an eyebrow.

"When Megan is on the field, I can summon any Midnight Castle monster from my deck to the field! So I summon Firefly in attack position!"

Next to Megan, a pink pegasus with blue a blue mane, a purple bow tie on her tail, and intense resolve in her eyes appeared on the field with 2,500 Attack Points.

"And since danger is Firefly's middle name, she can attack as soon as she is summoned." Flash said. "So Firefly, attack Bakura's Life Points directly!"

Firefly flew over and kicked the side of Yami Bakura's playing surface with tremendous force, causing him to stagger back and his Life Points to drop to 5,500.

"That ends my turn!" Flash said as Yami Bakura growled with irritation.

"It's my turn!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I set one card face down, then activate my Night Of The Living Dead spell card to summon three undead- or fiend-type monsters from my deck to the field!"

Flash flipped his face down card. "Not gonna happen, buddy. I activate my trap card, Magic Jammer! I discard a card and negate your spell's activation!"

Yami Bakura flipped over his own face down card. "Well I activate my Continuous Trap, the Book Of The White, which protects my spell and trap cards and makes your Magic Jammer moot!" He laughed victoriously as Flash shook his fist. "Now where was I? Oh yes, I summon Pharynx The Changeling Warrior, Chrysalis The Changeling Queen, and Archfiend Shadow Of Red in attack position!"

Chrysalis and Pharynx appeared on the field, with their 3,800 and 2,500 Attack Points respectively, along with a giant, angry looking monster with four spindly spider legs, two old red wrinkly hands, a glistening red body completely covered in scales, and a wrinkly red face, stuck in a permanent scowl with empty, soulless eye sockets. It had 4,500 Attack Points.

Flash did a double take and recoiled in horror. "Gah, what the hell is that thing?!"

"Archfiend Shadow of Red," Yami Bakura stated matter-of-factly. "Do you like him?"

"N-no, I don't," Flash said.

"Well he doesn't like you either," Yami Bakura pointed at Flash confidently and with authority. "Monsters, attack!"

Archfiend Shadow Of Red spit a colossal ball of fire at Megan, shaped like of thousands of tortured souls squished together. Chrysalis and Pharynx opted to shoot much simpler bolts of black and green lightning at Firefly, causing her to disintegrate. Flash's Life Points plummeted all the way down to 1,500.

"Your move, creep," Yami Bakura said,

"It's my turn!" Flash drew a card. "I activate the Rainbow Of Light spell card, destroying all fiend monsters on the field!"

A luminous rainbow almost as wide as the dueling field itself sprang forth from Flash's side of the field, engulfing Yami Bakura's monsters in light and causing them all to melt.

"The Rainbow Of Light also allows me to summon Megan, Savior Of Worlds, even if she's in the Graveyard!" Flash raised his fist into the air. "So return Megan, Savior Of Worlds!"

Megan returned to the field, angrier than ever at Yami Bakura. She had 1,500 Attack Points.

"Megan's effect activates again! I summon Medley from my deck in attack position!"

A blue pegasus with a green mane, a yellow bow tie on her tail, and musical notes on her flank appeared on the field to the right of Megan. She had 2,500 Attack Points

"Now I summon Bowtie in attack position!"

Another blue pony, this time an earth pony with a pink mane, yellow bow ties on her bangs and tail, and pink hearts on her flank appeared to the left of Megan. She also had 2,500 Attack Points.

"Well that combo was highly improbable," Yami Bakura remarked.

"Now, everyone, attack Bakura's Life Points directly!" Flash commanded.

Medley kicked the side of Yami Bakura's playing field, though not with as much force as Firefly, and Megan just pointed at him. His Life Points went down to 1,500. Bowtie then leaped ten feet straight into the air, and just as she was about to land on Yami Bakura, he flipped over his face down card and smirked.

"Did you really think you could win that easily?" he asked. "I activate my trap card, Negate Attack!"

Bowtie landed on what seemed to be an invisible, spherical force field that extended in a five foot radius from Yami Bakura. She bounced off right back next to Megan.

"Okay, guess my turn's done," Flash said.

"It's my turn!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "First I'll activate my spell card Pot Of Greed, giving me two extra cards," he drew two cards. "Next I'll play Monster Reborn! Say hello to my little friend, Archfiend Shadow Of Red!"

Archfiend Shadow Of Red reappeared on the field with 4,500 Attack Points, eyes glowing red with pure hatred. Flash did another double take and cringed away from him.

"I'd tell you to run, but there's nowhere to go," Yami Bakura extended his hand. "Archfiend Shadow Of Red, attack! Soulblaze Inferno!"

Archfiend Shadow Of Red spit out another massive ball of fire at Megan, instantly shattering her form and dropping Flash's Life Points to 0.

"And the winner of this duel is Ryou Bakura," Pegasus said exasperatedly. "Sorry Flash but, honestly, who didn't see this coming?"

"All the better that I shall be the one to destroy Seto Kaiba," Yami Bakura laughed maniacally like only a villain can, indulging in his own victory.

"Well, that was fun. Good game, Bakura," Flash said.

Yami Bakura stopped laughing. "Wait a minute, how can you be so happy after losing a card game?"

"It's just a game, dude," Flash replied.

"Just a game, alright, keep believing that if it makes you happy," Yami Bakura said condescendingly.

"Hey Yug', eh, Kaiba and Bakura have some pretty crazy cards there. How are ya gonna go about beating 'em?" Joey asked.

Yugi stood up from his seat on the bleachers. "Oh, I'll find something, Joey. I always do, after all," he walked down the bleachers, one hand in his coat pocket.

Author's Note

Only two more duels, and then the real fun begins. Oh boi.

Chapter 16: The Silent Duelist

"Attention duelists! My hair is informing you that its voice can't keep doing this! My hair also needs a glass of water!"

"Oh, that's quite alright, Kemo, I've got this," Pegasus snatched the microphone from Kemo's hand. "Welcome welcome all the duelists of the Losers' Bracket! Sorry Yugi, but it's true," Yugi scowled a bit at that. "Our next duel will be between the esteemed world champion Yugi Moto and uhh...some girl named Vinyl Scratch. Anyways, I'm sure it will be extremely entertaining in about five minutes or so."

Vinyl Scratch rose from her seat and began to stroll over to the field in the center of the gymnasium where Yugi stood, face still as stone. "Have fun!" Octavia called after her.

Yugi glanced down at his Millennium Puzzle. "Alright, Pharaoh, it's showtime!"

Wait, Yugi, hold on, Yami's incorporeal form appeared to Yugi's right. If I know anything about anything, Marik's going to win the next duel and face us in the semifinals. I'm going to need to save all of my energy for that climactic duel.

"Save your energy? For a card game?" Yugi asked incredulously.

Well yes, card games take an extreme toll on you, Yami replied. How else do you think I got these magnificent abs?

"Magic," Yugi answered.

Eh, fair enough, Yami said.

Yugi noticed that Vinyl Scratch was staring at him. "Sorry," he began. "It's just that the Pharaoh is...ah never mind," Vinyl Scratch simply responded with a cute little smile.

"Attention duelists!" the mullet guy began. "My mullet is informing you that the duel between Yugi Moto and Vinyl Scratch is about to begin!"

Each duelist started with 8,000 Life Points, as was in the rules at this point.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "First I'll summon my Big Shield Gardna in defense position!"

Big Shield Gardna, a big burly man crouched in front of his massive shield about half as tall as he was, appeared on the field with 2,600 Defense Points.

"And thus ends my turn," Yugi said.

"There you go, Yug! There's showing her some skill!" Joey cheered.

"Yeah, you can do this, Yugi! King of Games! King of Games!" Pinkie added.

"He literally just summoned a monster in defense position," Sunset said.

"Yeah, and that takes skill. I remember when I didn't remember how to do that, and Kaiba kicked my ass," Joey said.

Vinyl Scratch said nothing, just drew her card and started playing from her hand. She set a card face down, then played her first monster card, and on her side of the field, there appeared a monster that looked like a giant boombox with googly eyes with 3,000 Attack Points. She then searched through her deck for two more cards,, shuffled her deck, then placed her new monsters next to her boombox monster. They were a purple fourth note and a green eighth note, both with googly eyes and 2,000 Attack Points. Vinyl extended her arm and her boombox monster charged Yugi's Big Shield Gardna, cracking its shield and shattering it into shards of light. Her note monsters then advanced and pummeled Yugi's dueling platform, lowering his Life Points to 4,000 as he recoiled like duelists do. Vinyl gestured towards Yugi, signaling the end of her turn.

"Hey, what gives? Why is this girl not speaking?" Joey asked.

"So it is customary for duelists to scream at each other?" Rarity asked.

"Well yeah. How else would they know what they're doing, silly?" Pinkie responded.

Yami's incorporeal form appeared next to Yugi. Um, Yugi, why isn't she speaking? All of the other duelists we've seen call out their moves like they're in a shonen anime.

"I don't know, but that's going to make this duel a lot less entertaining," Yugi replied.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "I place one card face down, and then play the spell card Field Of Magic, allowing me to discard one card and summon one spellcaster from my deck!" Yugi discarded a card and searched his deck for the perfect card. "And now I summon Princess Celestia in attack position!"

Princess Celestia shimmered onto the field, pawing at the ground with 3,500 Attack Points.

Yugi extended his arm towards Vinyl Scratch. "Now, Celestia, attack Vinyl's boombox...thing!"

From Celestia's horn shot a powerful shining blast of magic, instantly destroying Vinyl's boombox and lowering her Life Points to 7,500.

"Your move," Yugi crossed his arms.

Vinyl drew her card. She then put a card onto the field. When she did so, her two note monsters shined white and were transported to the Graveyard, and in their place rose a larger blue rest note, also with googly eyes as well as 3,600 Attack Points. She ordered it to attack, but then Yugi flipped over his face down card.

"I activate my trap card, Negate Attack!" Yugi shouted.

Vinyl shrugged this off and gestured toward Yugi, ending her turn.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "I play my magic card Pot Of Greed, allowing me to draw two more cards!" Yugi drew two more cards. Rrgh, her monster's just too strong. What am I going to do? he thought.

Hey, Yugi, can we eat some pizza after this duel? Yami asked.

"Not now, Pharaoh, I'm trying to think," Yugi responded.

Oh, you do that too, Yami said. Well I know what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about a nice steaming hot pepperoni pizza with double cheese and bacon. Mmmm...

"Dammit Pharaoh, now you've gotten me hungry!" Yugi shouted, as he realized something in his hand he could use. "I play the magic card Spellbook Search, allowing me to search for one magic card to add to my hand!" Yugi searched for the card he wanted in his deck and shuffled. "Now I play the magic card..." he flipped over the card to show Vinyl dramatically. "...Raigeki!"

A storm cloud gathered over Vinyl's rest note monster, striking it with a mighty blast of lightning and leaving nothing but a charred spot on the field where it once stood.

"Now I'll summon Princess Luna in attack position!" Yugi declared.

Princess Luna appeared to arrive next to her sister Celestia on a chariot of stars, with nothing piloting it at all. The stars faded away, and Luna was left with her 3,500 Attack Points.

"Now, attack!" Yugi commanded, arm outstretched.

The two alicorn princesses shot powerful colliding beams of magic from their horns, blasting Vinyl off her feet and leaving her with only 500 Life Points to her name.

"Your move, Vinyl," Yugi said.

Suddenly, Yugi heard a sound like an old man moaning coming from his coat pocket. Yugi...what are you doing? Are you making out with your girlfriend?

"Grandpa!" Yugi blushed uncontrollably. "Not every action I undertake involves making out!"

It's a shame, Sugoroku said. I want you to get married sometime this century.

As this was happening, Vinyl Scratch drew her card and set a monster face down in defense position. She gestured to Yugi, signalling that her turn was over.

"It's my turn!" Yugi drew a card. "I attack your face down card with Princess Celestia!" Celestia fired another beam, as brilliant as a beam of sunlight, and Vinyl's face down card was revealed as a pink sixteenth note with 2,300 Defense Points, which shattered under the sheer power of Celestia's alicorn magic.

"Now I attack you directly with Princess Luna!" Yugi declared.

Princess Luna fired a sparkly beam of magic that looked to be made of pure nighttime. Vinyl shielded her face from the dueling field's wind systems as the alicorn magic blasted her Life Points into oblivion.

"Game, set, and match," Yugi crossed his arms triumphantly.

"And the winner of this match is the ever victorious Yugi Moto! Congratulations Yugi-boy!" Pegasus congratulated.

"All right! I knew you could do it, Yug!" Joey shouted.

"King of Games! King of Games!" Pinkie cheered.

And so Yugi wins again. Surprise surprise... Marik thought to himself. The good news is that, with my Egyptian God card, I should be unstoppable. Key word being should...

Author's Note

Even after all this time, I still have no idea why I was rejected for this fanfiction. It's even set in the United States! The author is clearly very un-American. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that after Duelist Kingdom I was technically dead, but everyone knows that death can't keep an American down for long. Which is why I'm starting a petition to get me onto this fanfiction, even if only for a cameo. Now excuse me while I go eat some hamburgers and squeeze off a couple rounds at the firing range...in America!

I'm Bandit Keith, and I approve this message.

Chapter 17: Marik's Big Score

"Attention duelists! My mullet is informing you that the duel between Marik Ishtar and Lyra Heartstrings will begin in three minutes!"

"You get him, Lyra!" Bon-Bon cheered her friend on. "Show Marik that you're no pushover and win this for us!"

"I will. Trust me, I will," Lyra strolled down the bleachers with a definite spring in her step.

"Hey, where did Mokuba go?" Twilight asked.

"Who?" everyone else asked in response.

"You know, Kaiba's little brother, confirmed to us what's going on with Kaiba? Anyone?" Twilight went on.

"I remember beating up two guys with him one time, but that's about it," Yugi responded.

"Maybe he got kidnapped," Joey suggested. "He tends to have that happen to him frequently."

"Then we have to go save him!" Twilight rose from her seat and sprinted down the bleacher steps in search of Mokuba.

"Yeah! What are we doing just sitting here?!" Applejack followed after Twilight, along with the rest of the Rainbooms and Sunset Shimmer.

"Honestly, what are they so concerned about?" Joey remarked. "Mokuba's going to be fine at the end of all this, guaranteed."

"Who?" Tristan asked.

"Attention duelists! The duel between Marik Ishtar and Lyra Heartstrings is about to begin!"

Marik and Lyra drew their starting hands at their Life Point counters rose to, you guessed it, 8,000.

"It's my turn!" Marik drew a card. "First I'll set one card face down, then I'll summon Ra's Disciple in defense position!"

On Marik's side of the field, an Egyptian man clad in a breastplate and a cape that seemed to be made of pure gold, along with an embroidered loincloth around his waist and a helmet resembling the head of a great falcon on his head, appeared, kneeling in front of the tombkeeper who summoned him. He had only 600 Defense Points.

Ra's Disciple?! That's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters! Sugoroku said.

"Grandpa, you think Kuriboh is a powerful card," Yugi pointed out.

Kuriboh?! That's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters! Sugoroku said.

"I think that'll do for now," Marik said.

"It's my turn!" Lyra drew a card. "I summon the Pony Of Fire in attack position!"

On Lyra's side of the field, a pony with a pure white coat and a mane and tail that appeared to be made of fire shimmered onto the field with 2,200 Attack Points.

"Due to Pony Of Fire's effect, I get to summon another 'Pony Of' monster to the field from my hand!" Lyra placed another monster down. "So I summon the Pony Of Water attack position!"

Another pony, this time with a light blue coat and a flowing mane and tail that seemed to be made of pure water appeared on the field to the left of Lyra's Pony Of Fire, also with 2,200 Attack Points.

"Both of these monsters start with one humanity counter attached to them," Lyra explained. "Now, monsters, attack!"

Lyra's Pony Of Fire and Pony Of Water immediately began to gallop forward, with Pony Of Water headbutting Ra's Disciple and shattering him and Pony Of Fire shooting a column of fire directly at Marik as he screamed and writhed in false agony and his Life Points fell to 5,800.

"I end my turn!" Lyra declared.

"No! You destroyed Ra's Disciple!" Marik drew a card as he tried his best to sound distraught. "But it was all according to plan! I place one card face down and play Monster Reborn to bring back Ra's Disciple in attack position!"

Ra's Disciple returned to the field with 1,100 Attack Points to his name.

"Due to my monster's special effect, I get to summon two more of Ra's Disciples from my deck!" Marik searched through his deck for his new monsters and shuffled. "Arise, Ra's Disciples!"

Two identical copies of Ra's Disciple appeared on either side of the original, all standing firm against their opposition.

"So you summoned more of him. So what?" Lyra asked derisively.

"I'm not finished yet!" Marik slammed another monster onto his playing field, and the whole arena began to glow with an almost blinding golden aura as Ra's Disciples winked out of existence. "Tell me, Lyra, have you ever danced with the pale moonlight in the middle of the day?"

"Wh-what?" Lyra asked confusedly.

"Never mind, it sounded better in my head. Now, come forth, Winged Dragon of Ra!" Marik called out, an arm raised skyward.

Behind Marik, a shining golden sphere ascended like the rising sun, making Marik look like he was about to make the best slam dunk in the history of basketball, only he was playing Duel Monsters. The light from the sphere was so bright that everyone in the gymnasium shielded their eyes.

"Nyeh, I don't remember the Winged Dragon Of Ra being this bright before!" Joey remarked.

"Who?" Tristan asked.

When the sphere reached its zenith, it unfolded into a phoenix-like creature, made of gold and wreathed with divine fire. This Winged Dragon Of Ra had 3,300 Attack points with which to exercise its divine wrath. "Now, Winged Dragon Of Ra, annihilate her Pony Of Water!" Marik commanded.

"Reverse card, open!" Lyra countered as she flipped over her face down card. "Negate Attack! This card lets me negate one attack that you-"

"Are you seriously explaining Negate Attack to me?!" Marik interrupted.

"Yeah," Lyra said. "Do you even know what it does?"

"Its effect is in its frigging- you know what, I'm going to end my turn!" Marik shouted.

Yami Bakura was lounging in Canterlot High's empty library, putting his feet up on his former council meeting table and examining a trading card while feeling extremely satisfied with himself, when suddenly seven technicolor skinned girls wielding all manner of instruments and sound equipment barged into the room and surrounded him, seemingly ready for a concert.

"Oh bollocks, it's you," he said disgustedly. "What the hell do you girls want?"

"We know what you did with Mokuba," Applejack said as threateningly as she could muster.

"Mokuba? Mokuba...wait, who are you talking about again?" Yami Bakura asked.

"Don't play dumb with us, Bakura," Rainbow Dash said derisively. "Undo your spell on him, or we will be forced to use force."

"'Forced to use force'?!" Yami Bakura stood up and guffawed heartily, unnerving the Rainbooms. "Oh, that's the best thing I've heard all day! Go on, use your force!"

"Alright, your funeral," Rainbow Dash strummed a sweet riff on her electric guitar, sending a teal energy blast Yami Bakura's way. Before Rainbow's blast could slap some sense into Yami Bakura, his Millennium Ring's tendrils pointed at it and 'caught' it, so to say, rebounding it as a sound wave knocking all of the Rainbooms off of their feet.

"Are you seriously trying to fight me with instruments?" Yami Bakura laughed some more. "Oh, that's rich!"

Rainbow Dash picked herself up, dusted herself off, and sighed. "Desperate times call for drastic measures," she plugged a sound amplifier into the outlet behind her and raised her microphone to her mouth. "And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..." the Rainbooms covered their ears as Yami Bakura fell over screaming, being caught completely off guard. "...will always love you!

Yami Bakura sprinted out of the library at full speed as he tried to pick up his trading card and cover his ears at the same time. "Sirens of death, trouble me no more!" As Yami Bakura made his hasty retreat and Rainbow Dash stopped singing, the library became eerily quiet. The Rainbooms noted that the librarian should've scolded them for being excessively loud in the library, but no librarian was to be seen.

"I think we just won," Sunset Shimmer noticed.

"No, really?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed exasperatedly.

"It's my turn!" Lyra drew a card. "That means my 'Pony Of' monsters get one more humanity counter! So now I'll play my Portal To The Human World spell card, giving them each one more humanity counter, and then I'll spend their humanity counters and use their effects in order to banish them from the field and special summon the Champion Of Fire and the Champion Of Water to the field in attack position!"

The Pony Of Fire and the Pony Of Water both shined white and left the field, in their place rising two knights clad in full mail armor, one with a pale white face and red-orange hair spiked like a wildfire and the other with a more light blue complexion and voluminous hair that flowed like a river respectively. Both Champions had 4,400 Attack Points.

Marik glanced in Lyra's direction and did a double take. "Gah! How the hell did you summon those?!"

"Were you seriously not listening to a word I said?" Lyra asked derisively.

"Sorry, what did you say again?" Marik asked.

"Forget it. Champion Of Fire, attack his Winged Dragon Of Ra!" Lyra commanded. The Champion Of Fire ran forth valiantly, his hair flickering like a raging campfire as he unsheathed his broadsword. Unfortunately, Marik had a trap card prepared for this occasion.

"You've activated my trap card, Magical Hats!" Marik exclaimed.

"Magical Hats?!" Lyra exclaimed.

"Magical Hats!" Marik confirmed. "Magical Hats allows me to hide the Winged Dragon Of Ra along with two spell or trap cards inside of three hats," Suddenly, the Winged Dragon Of Ra disappeared in a puff of smoke, and three magician's top hats adorned with question marks took his place. "One hat contains the deity you wish to slay, the others contain cards that will wipe out all of your monsters. With that in mind, I have just one thing to ask. Do you feel lucky?"

"I do!" Lyra boasted with extreme confidence. "Champion Of Fire, attack the middle hat!"

Champion Of Fire swung his broadsword at the middle hat, launching a curved orange blade of energy and causing the hat to shatter. Underneath the hat, the card Raigeki was revealed, prompting a look of dread on Lyra's face as her monsters were vaporized by thunderous bolts of lightning.

"Not lucky enough," Marik said as the Winged Dragon Of Ra was revealed to be in the right hat.

"Well, I end my turn!" Lyra crossed her arms in a paltry act of defiance.

"This ain't good for Lyra," Joey said. "With no monsters on the field, the Winged Dragon Of Ra will make her into toast!"

"Joey, we gathered that already," Tea replied.

"Yeah, thank you Captain Obvious," Yugi snarked.

"It's my turn!" Marik drew a card. "Hey Lyra, do you want to hear a fun fact?"

"No," Lyra said,

"The Hieratic Text on the Winged Dragon Of Ra card says I can pay all but one Life Point and add that value to Ra's Attack Points," Marik's Life Points dropped all the way to 1 while the Winged Dragon Of Ra's Attack Points soared to an astronomical 9,099, and divine fire began to jump from part to part on its body like solar flares. It was at this point Lyra realized that fun facts are not always fun.

"Th-that's n-not real!" Lyra stammered. "You can't do that!"

"I just did!" Marik boasted. "Now, finish this, Winged Dragon Of Ra!"

The Winged Dragon Of Ra made a cry like a falcon's, except more booming and regal, as the field became saturated with blinding light. A searing hot wave of fire blasted Lyra off her feet and onto the gymnasium floor as she screamed in what seemed to be real pain and her Life Points went straight to zero.

Pegasus just stood on the podium blinking for a few seconds, before coming to his senses and realizing that the duel was over. "Uh, it appears we have a winner! Congratulations, Marik! You'll get to face Yugi boy in the Losers' Bracket finals!"

"Why is it called the Losers' Bracket, anyways?" Marik questioned. "I'd prefer it to be called the Winning Impaired Bracket."

"You know what, I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Pegasus said.

Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna, who were supervising the matches this time, rushed over to Lyra, growing concerned after she laid on the floor breathing heavily and moaning in pain for a good while. Principal Celestia pushed up Lyra's sleeves and saw that she had legitimate burn marks all over her body. "She has second-degree burns!" she turned to look up towards Pegasus. "Are you sure this is even safe?!"

"Not at all!" Pegasus admitted. "This is actually a very dangerous card game, where only the most mystically capable players even make it out alive."

"We can have you arrested for this, you know!" Vice-Principal Luna threatened, to which Pegasus chuckled.

"You and what lawyers?" he asked tauntingly.

"What are you even going to tell the police?" Marik asked. "'This girl was burned with ancient Egyptian magic channeled through a children's card game.' That sounds stupid to me, and I'm the one who legitimately did that!" Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna grumbled as they carried Lyra's smoldering, whimpering form out of the gymnasium and to the nurse's office.

"Nyeh, when I said Lyra was going to be made into toast, I didn't mean that literally," Joey said concernedly.

"That's it, I'm so going to kick Marik's ass in a card game!" Yugi said resolutely.

Hear hear, Yugi! Yami's translucent form gave Yugi the thumbs up.

Author's Note

Will Yugi beat Marik in their upcoming duel?! What will Yami Bakura do next?! Will Pegasus ever get arrested for what he's done?! And what the hell is even going on with Kaiba?!

Find out on the next few episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh Z!

Chapter 18: Champion With Eyes Of Red

Author's Note

Hey, sorry about the long wait everybody. To make it up to you somewhat, here's a chapter of Kaiba being awesome.

Chapter 18: Champion With Eyes Of Red

The room was filled to the brim with computers covered in blinking lights, and wires that snaked in all directions amidst the machinery. Seto Kaiba lay naked inclined in a coffin-like structure, his arms crossed in an 'X' and his body hooked up with wires like the cyborg he probably wanted to be. On the other side of a hard plastic screen from Kaiba, a forest green-skinned woman clad in a pure white lab coat and rimless frames stood at a computer terminal, reviewing Kaiba's vital signs before he was sent into the virtual world.

"Mr. Kaiba, are you sure you want to do this?" the female technician asked.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Kaiba replied irritably. "This king's gone unchecked for far too long."

"Okay, if you insist..." the female technician said, pressing a few keys on her keyboard. Kaiba's capsule closed with a hiss. Beams of light scanned Kaiba's irises, and soon the world fell beneath him and he found himself falling into a whirling tunnel of colors. After a couple of seconds, a spinning KaibaCorp logo faded into existence before him, accompanied with the sound of a woman's voice.

You are now entering KaibaCorp Virtual Systems, the woman's voice sounded clinical and artificial, more like a robot than a human to Kaiba.

After a couple more seconds, Kaiba finally landed on solid ground, this time fully clothed and donning his signature white trench coat, its coattails billowing magnificently in the virtual wind, as well as a dormant Duel Disk on his left arm.. He was in the middle of a good-sized forest clearing, with trees surrounding him on all sides and the canopy they formed making it impossible to see beyond. That, and the rest of the world hadn't been rendered, and frankly didn't need to be. The skies were perfectly clear, no sun or clouds in the sky at all, as rendering them was a waste of processing power.

"Alright, Sombra, reveal yourself!" Kaiba demanded.

No sooner than Kaiba had voiced his demands than clouds of shadow began to pour from the endless forest, and the blue skies turned to overcast. "Ah, Seto Kaiba," a heavily guttural voice addressed Kaiba, sounding as if he had inhaled an entire canister of argon. "Come to embrace the darkness, I suppose?"

"Spare me your last temptation crap. It's time to duel!" Kaiba declared as he activated his Duel Disk, which glinted despite the lack of any visible light source.

"A duel, you say? I suppose I should take a more appropriate form then," the voice said. Out from the cloud of shadows walked a tall, lanky man with brown hair and blue eyes with dilated pupils, making his irises look like homogeneous blue disks. He was wearing the standard indigo Domino High School uniform.

"What the-?" Kaiba said, taken aback by the form Sombra had taken.

"What's the matter, don't you recognize me?" Sombra teased, his guttural voice replaced by a new voice exactly like Kaiba's, except in a dull monotone that somehow managed to come off as smug. "It's me, Seto Kaiba."

"You're not me!" Kaiba objected.

"Au contraire, Seto. I'm more you than you realize," Sombra said.

"Are we going to duel, or are we going to just stand around talking?" Kaiba asked. "I'm getting bored, and bad things tend to happen when I'm bored."

Suddenly, another duel disk materialized on Sombra's left arm and promptly activated itself. "Enjoy this duel, Seto Kaiba, for it shall be your last! My victory shall stand for all time!"

Each duelist drew a hand of five cards and added 8,000 Life Points to their names.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. Wait a minute... he then noticed some of the cards he had in his hand. Black Dragon's Chick? Red-Eyes Black Dragon? I don't run either of those cards.

"What's the matter, Seto? Notice anything different?" Sombra prompted.

"If you think giving me Joey Wheeler's deck as a joke is funny, you are sadly mistaken," Kaiba said as he slammed a monster down on his Duel Disk. "I set two cards face-down, and then summon Black Dragon's Chick in attack position!" as soon as he finished his sentence, a red egg appeared in front of Kaiba, immediately hatching into a tiny black dragon with 800 Attack Points.

"Joey Wheeler? No, I was thinking of someone else, someone with brighter colors in their hair," Sombra clarified.

"...Maximillion Pegasus?"

Sombra shook his head and said, "Your skull is as thick as your ego is large, but it won't matter soon enough. Play your next cards."

"With pleasure! Now I'll send Black Dragon's Chick to the Graveyard and summon the Red-Eyes Black Dragon in attack mode!" Black Dragon's Chick shined red and was deposited into the Graveyard. The space it formerly occupied shined inside a pillar of light containing Kaiba's newest dragon with 2,400 Attack Points. Red-Eyes roared at Sombra, sounding somewhat like a falcon's cry, but he stood unfazed. "Man, that sounds so weird when I say it. I'll end my turn!"

"Ah, the Red-Eyes Black Dragon," Sombra said, drawing a card. "Formidable, yes, but not nearly strong enough! I play my Twinkle Wish magic card in order to summon a monster from my deck!" he said. In front of Sombra, a more powerful pillar of light shone as bright as the invisible sun, and its shock wave nearly blew Kaiba off his feet.

"Are you summoning...?" Kaiba stood transfixed, dreading what he thought would come next.

"Yes! Come forth, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!" As Sombra said this, the pillar of light dissipated, revealing Sombra's Blue-Eyes standing approximately one head and neck higher than Red-Eyes with 3,000 Attack Points, roaring to establish its dominance.

"B-Blue-Eyes?" Kaiba asked in sheer disbelief, taken aback by the fact that someone would dare to use his signature card against him.

"How does it feel to have your own cards used against you, Seto?" Sombra inquired.

"How dare you?!" Kaiba growled, barely keeping his rage under control. "I'm going to kill you!"

"Try it!" Sombra taunted as he extended his right arm in a commanding gesture. "Blue-Eyes, destroy him!" Blue-Eyes charged up a ball of white lightning in its maw.

"You've activated my trap card, Spellbinding Circle!" Kaiba declared.

"Spellbinding Circle?" Sombra asked, as he had never seen this card before, and so was puzzled as to what it did.

"It's a card that lowers a monster's Attack Points by 700, and also makes them unable to change their battle position," Kaiba explained as Blue-Eyes dropped to 2,300 Attack Points.

"What?! No! Now your Red-Eyes is stronger than my Blue-Eyes!" Sombra exclaimed.

"Tell me something I don't know, Joey Wheeler," Kaiba said, extending his own right arm in response. "Red-Eyes, Inferno Blast Attack!"

Blue-Eyes fired her beam of white lightning at Red-Eyes, only for it to be completely absorbed by the black dragon. Red-Eyes, in retaliation, fired a beam of white hot fire and, after a final roar of defiance, the white dragon was no more, and Sombra was down to 7,900 Life Points.

"I-I thought Blue Eyes was supposed to be invincible," Sombra said.

"Well you thought wrong, didn't you?" Kaiba replied.

"I end my turn!" Sombra growled.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba said, drawing a card. "First I'll summon Princess Celestia in attack position!"

Princess Celestia shimmered onto the field, standing firm alongside the Red-Eyes Black Dragon with 3,500 Attack Points.

"Now, Red-Eyes, Celestia, attack his life points directly!" Kaiba commanded.

Red-Eyes fired a beam of fire at Sombra, and Celestia fired another beam, this one of pure magic, forming a sort of swirling cocktail of energy pointed directly at Sombra's face, lowering his life points to 2,000.

"You'll pay for this, Seto Kaiba..." Sombra growled.

"Heh, not likely," Kaiba said. "I end my turn!"

"It's my turn!" Sombra drew a card. "First I'll play Monster Reborn in order to bring the Blue-Eyes White Dragon to the field!"

The Blue-Eyes White Dragon returned to the field, encased in a pillar of light which was only shattered with its mighty roar.

"I think you're going to like what I'm going to do next," Sombra said. "Next I shall sacrifice the Blue-Eyes White Dragon in order to summon the all-powerful King Sombra in attack position!"

Blue-Eyes was suddenly engulfed by a cloud of darkness that sprouted from the ground, being replaced by King Sombra's equine form with 5,000 Attack Points, trotting slowly and methodically, as if he had all the time in the world.

"B-Blue-Eyes..." Kaiba said, his rage building fast. "You sacrificed Blue-Eyes to summon yourself?"

"Do you like it?" Sombra asked rhetorically. "Go, me, attack his Red-Eyes!"

King Sombra charged up bolts of darkness within his horn, then fired them directly at Red-Eyes, shattering him almost instantly and dropping Kaiba's Life Points to 5,400.

"I end my turn," Sombra said.

"Rrgh, it's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card. Still nothing! he thought. There's probably not a card in this entire deck that can stand up to King Sombra.

"Well, are you going to do anything?" Sombra asked.

"i'll set one card face down, and then end my turn!" Kaiba declared, setting his card face down.

That face down card could be anything, Sombra thought. I better play it safe.

"It's my turn!" Sombra drew a card. Perfect! he thought. "First I'll play this card, the Pot Of Greed, which allows me to draw two cards!" Sombra drew two more cards.

"That's not what it does," Kaiba said.

"Yes it is!" Sombra insisted.

"Nope, according to the text on the card, it says 'if the opponent is named Seto Kaiba when you play this card, immediately surrender the match to him'," Kaiba bluffed.

Sombra took a look at his Pot Of Greed, and said, "This card only says 'draw 2 cards'."

Dammit, I knew he'd call my bluff, Kaiba thought.

"Now I shall play my Endless Staircase magic card, banishing your Princess Celestia from the field!" Sombra went on.

Princess Celestia went up in a puff of smoke, to Kaiba's anger.

"I also play the Mystical Space Typhoon! Destroy his face down card!" Sombra commanded as fierce winds ripped Kaiba's card to holographic pieces.

"Now I shall summon my own Princess Celestia to the field in attack position!" Sombra declared.

Next to King Sombra's equine form, a copy of Princess Celestia appeared with 3,500 Attack Points., this one with a more devious and maniacal expression on her face, matching King Sombra's shark-toothed grin.

"This-this can't be real!" Kaiba denied.

"Oh, it is real, Seto Kaiba," Sombra said as he extended his right arm to give the killing blow. "Now, my monsters, attack his Life Points directly!"

Princess Celestia and King Sombra both fired blasts of energy from their horns, coalescing into one beam, like Kaiba's copy had done with Red-Eyes before, except this time with more darkness. The combined blast nearly swept Kaiba off his feet as his Life Points plummeted to 0 and Sombra became more recognizable, his irises turning bright red and his sclera bright green, purple fire spewing from his tear ducts as he laughed maniacally.

"You lose, Seto Kaiba," Sombra said as Kaiba's feet were encased in crystals tinted black. "And here you shall remain."

"No," Kaiba stated matter-of-factly.

"No? What do you mean no?! I'm literally sealing you in crystal right now!" Sombra asked incredulously as the crystals grew to Kaiba's ankles.

Kaiba raised his right arm. "Virtual world program disengage!" he said, and was suddenly surrounded by an iridescent pillar of code, taking him apart voxel by voxel.

"What do you think you're doing?! Cease this foolishness at once!" Sombra growled with the voice of the legion as the virtual world fell apart before him.

"Do you even know who I am?! I'm Seto Freaking Kaiba!" Kaiba boasted, then laughed triumphantly as he shot up the pillar of code as a sillhouette of light, leaving two empty molds of black-tinted crystal as the only evidence he'd ever been there.

"No, no!" Sombra barely had enough room to stand as the world transformed back into pure light. "I will destroy you, Seto Kaiba! Mark my-" he was cut off by the virtual world program no longer being active, much to his chagrin.

As Kaiba flew towards some nondescript point at the end of the multicolored tunnel, a large KaibaCorp logo grew and spun in front of his face.

You are now exiting KaibaCorp Virtual Systems, the female voice said.

"Gee, thanks, I never could've guessed that," Kaiba snarked.

Soon after, back in the real world, Kaiba's virtual reality coffin opened with a hiss, and he burst out of it without thinking about what he was not wearing. The forest green-skinned technician blushed uncontrollably.

"Sorry, sorry!" Kaiba apologized as he frantically tried to pull his clothes back on. "Why did I even need to be naked for that? There are other virtual reality systems in this universe that allow you to keep your clothes on."

"I'm guessing it was for fanservice, Mr. Kaiba," the technician said, looking away out of respect.

"That makes way too much sense," Kaiba said.

Chapter 19: Pizza Time

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 8: The First Council Of Villains

"Ladies, gentlemen, effeminate gentlemen, I hereby call this meeting of the First Council of Villains to order!" Marik declared.

Marik, Yami Bakura, the Dazzlings, Snips, and Snails were sitting at a massive round table that could seat eight people in Canterlot High's library. One of the seats was empty.

"First we must do roll call," Marik lifted his clipboard and his ballpoint pen as he took names. "Okay, Marik Ishtar? Well, I am here, so yeah. Ryou Bakura?"

"What would this council be without my amazing hair?" Yami Bakura asked rhetorically.

"Snips and Snails?"

"Wait, why are we treated as one entity?" Snails asked.

"Yeah, we're separate people, you know," Snips added.

"Because shut up," Marik kept looking through his clipboard. 'Uh, let's see here, Adagio Dazzle?"

"Present and fabulous," Adagio said with a smirk on her face.

"Not as fabulous as me," Marik said. "Aria Blaze?"

"Present," Aria said.

"Sonata Dusk?"

"I was told there would be tacos at this meeting," Sonata pouted.

"The tacos come later. Seto Kaiba?" Marik turned towards the empty chair and made a mark on his clipboard. "Absent, of course. But that's okay, we didn't need him in the first place. Our council is actually stronger without him and all of his money and influence,"

"He turned you down, didn't he?" Yami Bakura asked.

"Fluffy, by the power invested in me as the leader of the First Council Of Villains, I command you to shut up!" Marik commanded.

"Speaking of which, why are you the leader of the council, anyways?" Yami Bakura asked. "I'm easily the most evil person at this table. If anything, I should be the leader,"

"Well too bad, I'm still the leader, and nothing you do can ever change that, Bakura," Marik crossed his arms.

Yami Bakura stood up from his chair. "Anyone who wants to see Marik Ishtar demoted from his position, say 'aye'," Everyone except Marik raised their hands and said 'aye'. "Anyone who wants to see me elected leader of the council in his place, say 'aye'," Once again, everyone except Marik raised their hands and said 'aye.

"Oh go [EFF] yourself, Bakura!" Marik shouted.

"Kiss my arse, Marik," Yami Bakura retorted as he sat back down. "Now then, fellow villains, what shall be our first order of business?"

"Defeating the Pharaoh once and for all!" Marik suggested.

"Hmm, I suppose it's a good start, but how should we go about doing that?" Yami Bakura stroked his chin.

"I'm sorry for asking this, but why should we care about defeating the Pharaoh?" Adagio asked. "I mean, it's not like the Pharaoh did anything to us,"

"'It's not like the Pharaoh did anything to us.' What hasn't he done?!" Marik said. "You know how the Battle Of The Bands got cancelled? It was the Pharaoh! He was the one responsible!" The Dazzlings gasped in unison.

"No, that was actually Pegasus," Yami Bakura corrected Marik.

Marik turned towards Snips and Snails. "And you know who cut you down on your path to glory? It was the Pharaoh!"

"No, that was Twilight Sparkle," Yami Bakura said.

"And you know who got Al Capone arrested? The Pharaoh, that's who!" Marik added.

"Okay, now you're just making things up," Yami Bakura said.

"Silence, kitty!" Marik commanded.

"How many times must I tell you I'm not a kitty?!" Yami Bakura gritted his teeth.

"Aww, does wittle Bakura want his kitty bits? Because he seems vewy angwy wight about now," Marik said condescendingly.

"That's it, I'm kicking your arse," Yami Bakura rose from his chair, fists balled.

"Whoa whoa, calm down Bakur-" Marik was interrupted by a swift punch in the face from Yami Bakura, throwing him to the floor. Yami Bakura then leaped on top of Marik, and they struggled violently on the floor.

"Aww, look, they really do love each other!" Adagio said. Aria just looked at Adagio, her head tilted and mouthing 'Wha-?'

"Ow! Ow! Uncle! Uncle!" Marik screamed.

Yami Bakura got up off of Marik. "Your uncle's not here, but I suppose I'll grant you mercy," Yami Bakura then sat back down in his chair.

"Ow!" Marik also sat back up in his chair.

"Anyway, do we have any ideas as to how we defeat Yugi Moto and the Pharaoh?" Yami Bakura asked.

Marik raised his hand high. "Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Alright, Marik, what have you got for us?" Yami Bakura asked.

Marik cleared his throat. "Alright, so my plan is that we push Yugi Moto into a swimming pool!"

Yami Bakura's mouth was agape from pure dumbfoundedness. "...Seriously?"

"Yes! You see, when we push Yugi Moto into the swimming pool, his hair will get all wet, and it will take forever to dry and restyle. He'll be so annoyed that he'll have to give us his Millennium Puzzle! It's foolproof!"

Yami Bakura's mouth was still agape, as were the mouths of every other council member. "Marik, do you even have a brain in that thick skull of yours?" Yami Bakura reached over and knocked on Marik's head. "Hello? Anybody home?"

Marik grabbed Yami Bakura's arm and pushed it away. "Oh come on, Bakura, you're just jealous you didn't think of it first!"

"I have a better idea!" Yami Bakura declared. "Why don't we just stab Yugi Moto in the chest and steal his Millennium Puzzle while he's bleeding to death?"

"Bakura! Have you lost your mind?! We can't just kill him! Besides, the censors wouldn't allow it!" Marik objected.

"Marik, this is Fimfiction. We can kill people here, that's what the Death tag is for," Yami Bakura said.

"But still, what about all the evidence that would leave behind?!" Marik said. "If we just banish Yugi and the Pharaoh to the Shadow Realm, there will be no body or murder weapon to speak of, and we can't get arrested!"

"What about your Millennium Rod?" Yami Bakura asked. "I'm pretty sure that would count as a murder weapon at that point,"

"What Millennium Rod? This is just a movie prop that I happen to keep clenched in between my buttocks at all times," Marik said.

"Yami Bakura shook his head. "You are one strange, silly little man, Marik,"

"And I make it work, baby!" Marik boasted.

"Might I make a suggestion?" Adagio asked.

"Yes, what is it?" Yami Bakura answered.

"What if we take someone Yugi loves and hold them hostage? Then we set their ransom at a value of one shiny Millennium Puzzle," Adagio suggested.

"That's actually a bloody good idea," Yami Bakura said. "I'm glad someone thought of it. Who should we kidnap? Tristan?"

"I don't think Tristan even counts as one of Yugi's friends," Marik said.

"Okay, then, how about Fluttershy? She can't be very strong," Yami Bakura asked.

"Bakura, I think you're confusing Yugi with Twilight Sparkle," Adagio said.

"Wait, I am confusing the two. Rrgh, and the fact that they're so bloody similar doesn't help," Yami Bakura said.

"Well, if they are so similar, then they must've met up and made friends with each other," Marik said. "Therefore, any friend of Twilight Sparkle's is likely a friend of Yugi's as well,"

"That...actually makes sense, Marik. Well done on using your brain today," Yami Bakura said.

"Hey!" Marik objected.

"If we're going with the kidnapping plan, then I think we should capture Sunset Shimmer," Aria suggested. "Word in the hallways is, after she failed to take over the school, she became an outcast with virtually no friends to speak of. Of course, Twilight made friends with her, so she'll be easy enough to ambush and she has the connections we need to get that Puzzle,"

"Brilliant! This is coming together quite swimmingly," Yami Bakura said. "Any more suggestions?"

"Uh, we have a plan as well," Snails said.

"Okay so, get this, how about instead of killing Yugi Moto, we just beat him senseless and steal his Millennium Puzzle while he's unconscious?" Snips suggested.

"That could work, if it weren't for the fact that he's surrounded by his friends 24/7," Marik said.

"You see, Marik, the thing is that Yugi's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. I don't think it'll be that difficult to get him into an unfair fight where we can take his Puzzle," Yami Bakura said.

"I see," Marik contemplated the table with his fist resting on his chin.

"So I guess it's settled, then," Yami Bakura said. "Snips and Snails, you'll go beat up Yugi Moto and take his Millennium Puzzle. If that doesn't work, then Adagio, you and your posse will kidnap Sunset Shimmer and hold her hostage at the Canterlot High clock tower. Marik, you'll get Twilight Sparkle's phone number so we can hold Sunset Shimmer for ransom. Does that sound like an evil plan or what?" Every other council member nodded. "Alright, meeting adjourned,"

Author's Note

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on a horse.