Prickly Love

by RedRandom

Rating: teen
Tags: Lyra, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Bon-Bon, Profanity, Random
Length: 3274

Bon Bon tries to replace Lyra with Fruit

After a nasty break up with Lyra, Bon Bon has tried many ways to move past her past relationship and failed everytime. It is clear to her that only one thing must be done. With the connections a retired secret agent would have, she obtains the knowledge needed to replace Lyra with an assortment of fruits. How bad could this possibly get?

Published 2018-07-01 03:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-01 03:00:06 UTC

The Ritual

Bon Bon’s smile shone brightly as she trotted down the main street of Ponyville, her hooves clopping against the paved stone at a continuous, steady beat. The purple saddlebags draped over her sides clanged, all their contents hitting off against each other in a chaotic melody. She smiled even as the skies began to darken. Even as the sun began to retreat towards the horizon for the night’s influence to sweep across the land once more so Equestria could sleep from its long day.

She closed her eyes, bobbing her head back and forth to the multitude of thoughts clouding her brain with each step she took. Soon the perfectly cut stone that aligned the main road began to fade at a dynamic pace, eventually turning to the soft brown soil that lined the outskirts of Ponyville. Bon Bon let out a soft sigh, Her hooves sinking into the mud a small bit before she continued on. Her eyes slightly narrowed, yet her smile never died.

The lone silhouette of a building was slowly made more visible to the mare the more she walked, her narrow eyes growing full again. She quickened her pace, her smile relaxing. As she drew closer the building grew ever so larger, with orange dots now full windows and the light inside banishing the infectious dark. The fast thuds of her hooves smacking against dirt mixed in with her saddlebags rattling as Bon Bon dove into a full on gallop, soon making it to her home with heavy breath.

She brought her hoof to the door, the rusted hinges creaking as it opened to reveal her small, undecorated foyer. She rushed inside, sweat dawning upon her brow with the lit room peeling her body of the night’s darkened pallot before the door was closed and locked as quickly as she entered. She looked to her saddlebags, letting out a breath before making her way through the archway on the right, leading into the living room.

She slung the saddlebags onto the red leather couch, letting out a yawn before shaking her head rapidly. Rest would come later, now it was time to work. She made her way over to the fireplace, taking the white and red chalk she had laid there into her mouth before bringing them to the center of her wooden floor. She looked over to her saddlebags once more and her ears drooped ever so slightly.

“Ah, focus, Bon Bon! Get the circle done, then worry about the ritual,” she scolded herself, laying the red chalk down before beginning to drag the which chalk across the floor like she used to as a foal. But instead of the crudely drawn flowers and birds she had perfected as a filly, all she drew was two concentric circles. Between the two circles she began to draw even smaller circles, a gang of four circles surrounding the middle one when they were finally complete.

She whipped sweat from her brow, setting the chalk down. With a sigh, she sat down on the couch and looked over to the frame on the stand. In the frame lay a picture, or at least half of one. In the image was her, standing by Sugarcube Corner. Her eyes weren’t focused on her smiling face, nor the cupcake on her table. All she focused on was the cyan hoof on her shoulder, leading to the rip. Lyra.

She leaned forward, closing her eyes. It had been two weeks since the "meltdown," as the gossip machines in town had declared it. The day when the fight happened, when she got kicked out. Her eyes snapped open once more, quickly scanning down to find a few drops of water against her couch's armrest. At the sight her teeth became bared, lips quivering before she shot up to her hooves. The frame was opened, the picture now laying in the middle circle of chalk before Bon Bon's eyes shifted over to her saddlebags.

She opened them like a predator ripping its prey. A rainbow of fruits adorned the inside of both bags. She brought her hooves into one of the bags, retrieving three of the four fruits required before standing on her hind legs, her frontal appendages preoccupied with handling the fruits.

“Okay," she said, balancing on her hind legs as she made her way to the circle. "If I remember, the book said that each fruit would give a personality trait to the result based on the enchanter, in this case, my feelings around the fruit. So by getting the fruits I think of the best, I should get the perfectest, most magnificent replac—new fillyfriend."

As she placed the fruits down one by one, she suddenly lifted her head up in thought. “Why did I say all that out loud. I mean like, I'm the only one here. I memorized the ritual by heart, it's not like I need to remind myself."

Her mental ramblings continued until all the fruits had been placed in their respective circles, surrounding the picture of herself. "Okay, pointless reminders aside. Time for the magic."

First, the apple. North of the middle circle, the apple would gift the result with it’s sweetened taste, their words only being honey for Bon Bon’s ears. Then came the lemon, countering the new life’s sweetness with its bitter taste, sitting South of the middle circle. In the East sat the tropical pineapple. Its geographical location would gift Bon Bon’s filly friend with the laid back attitude. Perfect.

Bon Bon smiled, looking down at the torn picture that lay in the middle circle. The red chalk was picked up in her mouth, filling in the space around the picture with it’s crimson hue. But soon the chalk left her mouth, it’s role now fulfilled and no longer needed. Her eyes only now focused on the last piece to the puzzle. The last fruit. Without a thought she nabbed the last remaining object from her saddlebags. With both hooves, carefully, the cactus came free from the saddlebag’s confines, carefully rooted into its small, cream coloured pot.

With shaking breath the Earth pony brought the cactus over to its spot among the circles. West of the picture. As soon as she placed it down the ritual would begin. But as she began to lower the cactus down, an image flashed within the confines of Bon Bon's mind. The image mirrored the picture in the circle before her. But, with every second it began to reform, the rip gone. That blue fur, leading to those amber eyes, those shining teeth shown in her smile. Bon Bon blinked, her eyes turning to the picture in front of her, the fragmented piece to the full picture in her mind.

"Maybe. Maybe I don't need a replacement," She thought as she began to lift the Cactus plant away from its previous destination. "Maybe I should talk to her, try and make thin-"

The front door flung open, the sudden thunderous noise causing a shriek to escape the Earth Pony. The sound of the potted cactus smashing into the final unfilled circle echoed through the room. Only muffled by the winds rushing through the door accompanied by the sight of a unicorn with a cyan coat galloping into the room with pin-pricked eyes.

"Bon Bon!" Her voice boomed, even when angered it still held that angelic tone Bon Bon fell in love with. "What have you done!?"

"Wh-what have I done!?" Bon Bon snapped back, quickly getting to her hooves. "I was about to back out of it, why'd you follow me!" She paused for a moment. "Wait, how did you know what I was planning?!"

"You spent most of yesterday drunk off your ass telling as many ponies as you could how you were gonna replace me with fruits..." Her horn began to glow, a white piece of paper with the Sweet Apple Acres insignia on the top. "Applejack asked me to give this receipt to you. You know, because of the fruits?”

"Now you listen here. I tell you that's not tru-" Bon Bon began to retort, her mind trying to think of the best way to win this argument. But before she could manage to continue, the corner of her eye flashed red. Her eyes growing blank, she turned around only for the rest of her eye to take in that low, crimson glow.

The circles, all glowed with that same soft red hue. Each fruit sank into the ground one at a time. But when it got to the cactus the glow brightened without warning, causing the two mares to close their eyes in defense. When they opened, the cactus was gone with the red light now centered on the picture, still torn. It was only when Bon Bon took a single step forward, the light exploded upwards. A pillar of that crimson light overtook the multitude of circles faster than either of them could blink.

"Bon Bon," Lyra began, her hoof reached out quickly, pulling the Earth Pony towards her until the tips of their muzzles touched. "What. The buck. Did you, do?"

Bon Bon could only gulp. She looked over to the pillar once more, only brought back to Lyra's piercing stare by the other mare's hoof. "I followed the ritual guidelines! I got the fruits! All of them! I drew the Circles! Everything I di-" She argued, only for Lyra's hoof to silence her by entering her mouth.

"Well, seeing how a red pillar of light normally means you bucked up. So no, you didn't do everything right," Lyra scolded, her tone almost void of all emotion. She sighed, her eyes shooting down to the ground. "What fruits did you use? You could have messed up in what they mean to you or something."

As the Unicorn's hoof left Bon Bon's mouth, she let out a low grumble. "Ummmm," She began, bringing a hoof to her chin as she thought. "Well, I got the right ones so I don't know what you're talking about. Apple, Pineapple, Lemon and Cactus. All the right stuff.

"Cactus?" Lyra asked, her eyes growing narrow before she shook her head. "Bon Bon, Cacti aren't fruits."

"What? Of course they are, they’re the sassiest of all fruits!" Bon Bon shouted in return. "Why else are they called Cactus fruits?"

"Bon Bon. Cactus fruits grow on cacti. The cacti itself is a plant and the ritual to replace me is clearly bucking up. So obviously you bucked up. You bucking idiot, do you actually think?!"

"It's not my fault!" The Earth Pony answered, her own eyes narrowed whilst her mouth mirrored that of a battle ready dog. "I told you, I did it right!"

Lyra opened her mouth to speak, her position being as if ready to pounce onto the other mare. But soon a green mass shot in between them, sticking to the wall. The two gasped before snapping their heads in the direction the mass had come from. Each inch of green covered in spines, some short while others tall. Eventually ending where a hoof would be from an equine looking body.

Spines covered most of its body, the sickening green continued even across it's featureless face. There were no words to be spoken, nor a sound to be uttered as the creature retracted its forearm as quickly as it had been extended. It slowly turned it's head towards Bon Bon, it's eyeless head staring directly into her. The seconds that rolled by felt like minutes before it nodded it's prickled head at her before turning its attention to Lyra. As soon as it laid it's vision on her, a flower immediately bloomed from the side of the creature's head, ear shaped lumps appearing on its head.

"B-Bon Bon?" Lyra began, her eyes widened, mere pinpricks at the sight of this, this abominable amalgamation. She turned her head quickly to face the Earth Pony. But, as she did so another spiny hoof shot out at her.

Bon Bon's own eyes widened at the creature, wider still at it's sudden attack as she pounced onto the Unicorn beside her. She pushed Lyra to the floor, the green hoof barely missing the Earth Pony's ear. "Lyra run!" She shouted, getting onto her hind hooves before pushing Lyra towards the hallway with all her strength.

Lyra didn't respond, only kicking her hooves into overdrive as she galloped in the direction she was thrown in. Barely did she manage to enter the hallway before another hoof crashed into the dry wooden door frame just behind her, crushing it before snaking back. Lyra, looking back and forth between the door and the stairs with manic eyes gasped as an idea came to her. She opened the door, letting the heavy wind from outside blow into her face for a few seconds before slamming it shut. She then turned to the stairs, forcing her hooves to touch the carpeted stairway as softly as possible, climbing her way up to the second floor with the sound of Bon Bon's screams and furniture being destroyed flowing into her ears.

In the living room Bon Bon once again jumped towards the Cactus, bringing her hind hoof forward for a drop kick. But with a single movement of the creature's retracting hoof the Earth Pony was whacked out of the air like a annoying fly. She landed on a table that crumbled under her weight, causing her to hit the ground hard. It took her a few seconds to get up to her hooves. Her head snapped towards the direction of the prickly fiend after her Lyra.

But as she looked to meet the creature's face she gasped, for now there were no spines, the featureless face now replaced with a face. Lyra's face. It still didn't have her cyan coat and the flower still bloomed on her head but it was Lyra's face.

"D-don't you touch her!" She called, limping over towards the creature as it ripped the front door off its hinges in pursuit of it's target, exiting the house with the wind bursting into the room. Bon Bon followed, her left hind leg buckling under the weight of each step she would take. But she moved on, even as tears welled up in her eyes she walked as fast as she could after the beast.

The air was colder, the clouds black with no stars to be seen. The Cactus continued on with Bon Bon on its tail. But her leg gave out. With a cry Bon Bon fell to the ground, her nostrils flaring, her teeth bared. But still she continued to crawl after that spiked felon. But then, as if out of nowhere the loud sound of something hitting the ground beside her crashed into her ears. Her head swung in the direction of the sound and saw a bottle of water, filled with a brown liquid. Attached to the bottle's neck with some string was a note.

"Pour me on the bitch."

Her eyes widened and as the gears turned in the Earth Pony's head, she turned onto her side and looked up. Her grim frown snapped into a wide smile when she saw Lyra, waving softly at her from an open window. Bon Bon nodded to her, taking notice of the fact the Unicorn's horn glowed with a light red aura as she slowly began to get up. Putting less weight on her hind hoof she bent down and picked the bottle up in her mouth. Using her front hooves to hold the bottle in place she began to turn to lid with her mouth, the scent of alcohol wafting into her nose.

As the Cactus turned its head back to the house, a large spine now growing out of it's head to act as a Unicorn horn, it's eyes widened with the sight of it's target staring back at her with crossed eyes of their own. It opened its spine filled maw, letting out a screech before it's legs kicked into overdrive. It ran for the front door, only to be pushed back towards the ground by the earth pony that created her, the earth pony she was to love. It looked at Bon Bon for a moment, it's head tilting to the side. But it then let out another screech as Bon Bon threw that brown liquid all over it's green body.

"Now Lyra!" Bon Bon shouted, jumping back into the house through the doorless entrance. She stared as a fireball came down from above, striking the creature and setting it ablaze in an instant. An ear shattering cry of agony erupted from the Cactus as it backed away from the house in a panic. It fell to the ground a few seconds later.

Bon Bon laid her head back, breathing in and out while trying to make her lungs move faster in re-oxygenating her body. It was done, the monster now dead. The pain in her leg now a gentle numbness that ate away at her nerves. She continued to lay there, even with the wind blowing in her face, even as that wind was joined by the beginnings of rain. She closed her eyes, how stupid had she'd been? Replacing the one she loved with a green impostor?

Her eyes shot open as her ears stood at attention, hearing Lyra rushing down the stairs and diving down beside the Earth Pony. "Bon Bon!" Lyra gasped, both hooves quickly wrapped around the mare's neck as she hugged her. "Are you okay?!"

Bon Bon didn't answer, her own hoof patting Lyra on the back. "You were right," She finally said.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, looking into Bon Bon's eyes, her own puzzled. "... About the ritual?"

"Yeah," Bon Bon answered. "I'm an idiot, I nearly got you killed for Celestia's sake." She sat up onto her flank and sighed. "I never deserved yo-"

"Bon Bon you shut your mouth," Lyra responded, pushing her hoof to the lips of the Earth Pony to silence her. "I love you, no matter what you might do. Ritual or not. No matter what arguments we have. I will love you till the damn sun blows up." She brought her hoof away and gave the mare a light kiss. "Now, How about you fix that door and I make us some dinner?"

Bon Bon looked at her for what felt like hours, blinking a few times before a smile graced her lips. "Sure, I've done more demanding things with a sore leg before." She got up, limping towards door that was laying outside. "Oh Lyra?"

"Yeah?" Lyra asked as she began to walk into the living room.

"What was that stuff I poured on that Cactus?"

"Oh," Lyra said, turning back to the Earth Pony from archway into the living room. "It was in your liquor cabinet. Said something like... Drinkus Ex Machina?"

Bon Bon immediately dropped the door she had picked up. Her eyes narrowed, one of them twitching. "YOU MADE ME WASTE MY PRICELESS DRINKUS EX MACHINA BRANDED WHISKEY!?!"

Author's Note

This took much longer to write than it really needed to. I hoped you enjoyed this weird piece, I wrote it as a writing exercise given by the School for New Writers group. I am happy with how this turned out, even though I personally don't think it's really that good :p.

If you want to join so you can learn how to be a better writer, here is the Link to their Fimfiction group: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/916/school-for-new-writers

and here's a link to their Discord server:
https://discordapp.com/channels/207507139130949632/207507139130949632