Princess Celestia gets a Colonoscopy

Chapters

Chapter 1: "Frequent Bouts of Constipation"
Chapter 2: "MiraLAX and Gatorade"
Chapter 3: "After the Procedure"

Chapter 1: "Frequent Bouts of Constipation"

Every morning, Princess Celestia had a simple routine: wake up, raise the sun, have breakfast and do whatever needed to be done to help run her kingdom! However, there were times that Celestia would get so caught up in her duties, that she would forget to look after her own health and well-being. The pressures and demands of being the leader of a nation such as Equestria would often take a toll on Celestia and she wouldn't realize it until it was too late.

…

It all started one morning when Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna, were having breakfast. As the two sisters ate, Luna noticed that her sister had an uncomfortable look on her face.

"Sister, you look troubled," remarked Luna as she drank a cup of coffee. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing," grunted Celestia, her mind distracted for a moment. "My stomach has just been bothering me for a few days, that's all."

This made Luna stop what she was doing.

"Come to think of it, Celestia, this is the third time this week you have been complaining of your stomach. How has your eating been?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Why do you ask?"

"Because of the fact that every time we have an important dinner with dignitaries, you tend to be constipated and pained. Not to sound inappropriate, but…"

Celestia knew almost immediately that Luna was about to enter her personal space. Then again, she was her sister after all.

"Luna!" Celestia snapped, glaring at her younger sister as she rose from the table. "If you go so much as…"

"Sister," countered Luna, rising as well. "Your eating has been a bit of a concern to me and I think that you might have something wrong with your stomach. Perhaps maybe you should cut back on the heavy eating! It will help you when you have to do your private business."

All Celestia could do was raise an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Look," continued Luna, trying to sound reasonable. "I'm saying this because you are my sister and I love you, but you really have been having stomach problems and I think we should have your stomach checked out. How have you been doing your private business?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just asking."

"That's none of your concern, sister. You know better than to invade my personal space."

"I do, but there are times when we have to make exceptions to the rule and…"

Just then, Celestia felt a sudden surge of pain in her stomach and immediately darted out of the dining room in a flash. Luna began to suspect that her sister wasn't telling the entire truth and realized that something needed to be done. When Celestia returned, Luna decided to set the record straight.

"Look Celestia," she said, lightly stamping her front right hoof. "I think something might be wrong with your stomach and I think we need to have Dr. Crohn's take a look at you."

"Our personal gastroenterologist?"

"Yes. He might be able to give you an answer to what is wrong with your stomach."

"But, I have things I need to do, Luna."

Celestia was just about to walk away, when Luna pulled her back with her magic.

"They…can…wait," she said, firmly and clearly. "Something is wrong with you and you need to get looked at. The more you wait, the more pain you are going to get."

Luna's words gave Celestia an indication that she wasn't going to be backing down so easily. In any case, she had nowhere to run from her stomach problems and nowhere to hide.

…

Later that day, Celestia laid in her bedroom with Luna waiting for the gastroenterologist to arrive. A few moments later, the sounds of a knock were heard.

"Come in," answered Luna and the door opened to reveal a purple colored unicorn pony in a doctor's coat with a gray curly mane. "Thank you for coming on such short notice, Dr. Crohn's."

"Of course, Princess Luna," he chuckled as he turned his attention towards Celestia. "Now then, Princess Celestia. What seems to be the problem?"

"It's my stomach," Celestia answered, not wanting to invoke her little sister's nature any further. "It's been acting up."

"How have you been extracting your stools?"

This made Celestia feel very uncomfortable as she turned over flat on her back for Dr. Crohn's to inspect her stomach.

"Beg your pardon?"

"Your personal business."

"Oh, well, this may sound embarrassing, but…"

"Don't be," interrupted Dr. Crohn's in a soft voice. "Anything spoken between us doesn't leave this room. You have my word."

Celestia hesitated again, but Luna nodded for her to say her peace.

"Well, when I do my business," Celestia explained. "I feel like a river comes out of me almost as if it is mush."

As she spoke, Dr. Crohn's tapped his hooves on Celestia's stomach, trying to pinpoint the source of the disturbance.

"Mush did you say?" he asked.

"Yes, mush."

"Hmm, then it seems to me that you could have a case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which is that your bowels become irritable when you sometimes eat. Another possible factor is stress can trigger your bowels as well. Tell me, have your have any stressful moments lately? Not that everything is stressful to you?"

It took a moment for Celestia to answer his question.

"I've had a few stressful moments, yes. You know how it is being a princess and all."

"Then, in any case, I would possibly recommend maybe taking some time off from being a princess. Perhaps maybe two or three days at best."

Celestia was about to protest this suggestion, but Luna stopped her.

"Furthermore, the only way that we can get a proper diagnosis of your condition is that you are willing to undergo a colonoscopy."

Celestia felt herself sink upon hearing this. In her mind, she had no idea of the fact that her condition would result in her ending up having a procedure.

"Now, I know it's a major inconvenience," continued Dr. Crohn's as he reached into his saddlebag and handed a paper containing instructions for Celestia to follow leading up to the procedure. "But, I feel that as your gastroenterologist that a colonoscopy is the only way to go at this point. It is the only way that we will be able to find out whether or not you will have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Now, I'm going to have to ask you to submit to a blood test before I go."

"Very well."

So, it was set. Princess Celestia, one of the four princesses of Equestria, was about to undergo a colonoscopy…

Chapter 2: "MiraLAX and Gatorade"

Princess Celestia had no other choice. She was undergoing a colonoscopy to find out what was wrong with her stomach and there was no other way to find out what was wrong. Immediately after Dr. Crohn's had left, Celestia's strict regiment was enforced.

"Now, I have gone ahead and informed the cooks that you cannot eat any solid foods until your procedure is done," Luna said the next day as she walked into her sister's room. "What's more, Dr. Crohn's has ordered that you take these two liquids."

"What are they?"

"They are called MiraLAX and Gatorade," explained Luna, showing her sister the two liquids. "Their purpose is to clear your bowels and I do want to warn you that…"

"That what, Luna?"

"You'll be doing your business quite a lot," Luna said as she prepared her sister's preparation drink. "Dr. Crohn's said that this is always the worst part of getting a colonoscopy is preparing for it."

Luna then handed her sister the drink and although reluctant, Celestia closed her eyes and took the drink. The taste of the drink was more than awful enough for her to take.

"It's tastes terrible," she cried.

"You might want to brace yourself," advised Luna, taking the glass away. "Because I can assure you that this is only the beginning of what is to come for you. Dr. Crohn's says you might end up doing your business up to 15 times right up until the procedure itself. Furthermore, if you want to eat solids, then these will do."

Luna then proceeded to give Celestia a box of saltine crackers, placing them on her nightstand.

"That's it?"

"Yes," answered Luna, taking note of her big sister's growing irritation. "Please, sister. I want you to get better and this procedure is the only way we can find out if you really do have irritable bowel syndrome. Didn't you once say to Princess Twilight that we all have to understand the meaning of self-sacrifice?"

"I did," Celestia replied, reluctantly. Then, at that moment, Celestia leapt to her feet and darted towards the door to her quarters. "Luna, get out of the way!"

But, Luna couldn't get out of the way in time and was knocked to the ground by her sister.

"Well," Luna whispered to herself as she got to her feet. "That's 1 out of 15."

For the rest of the day, Celestia continued her frequent trips to do her business. Unfortunately for her, it was far beyond 15 times and as the day passed, the amount of trips to the restroom continued to grow.

"I thought you said it was only going to be 15 times," scolded Celestia as Luna came into her room that night. "Turns out it was much more than that!"

"What I said was an estimate," replied Luna, calmly. "Believe me, I can't tell your stomach what to do because it's not my stomach, it's yours."

All Celestia could do was groan loudly.

"Why couldn't I have just been sent to stop a war or something?" she cried, burying her face in her front hooves.

"Guess there were other plans for you. But, don't worry, after we get some answers, you can start to feel better."

"I'll feel better once I stop this…GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

Celestia darted out of her room, once again knocking her sister down to the ground.

"More than 15 apparently."

Once Celestia returned, the embarrassment of having to do all these bits and pieces of business were starting to get her down.

"Luna, why must I go through with this?" she cried, groaning loudly with her behind stinging like a thousand bees. "I mean, could this be me being punished for all the times I failed to protect my subjects?"

"I don't think it has anything to do with that, sister."

"So you say," moaned Celestia. "But, here I am, the princess of the day, the one who is responsible for raising and lowering the sun every morning and night and rather than doing what I do best, I'm stuck here running back and forth between the restroom. I've got better things to do than this!"

"And you will get back to them, Celestia," said Luna, wiping away a small tear that trickled down her sister's face. "Just think of this as your body telling you that you need to take a break every once in a while. Just because we are princesses doesn't mean that we are no different than anypony else. Besides, I have been thinking that we need to spend some more time together. We have a right to take a vacation every now and then. Besides Princess Twilight and her friends can be good substitutes for us."

All Celestia could do with that statement was sigh heavily in acceptance of what needed to be done. Luna was right, she needed to take a break from these pressures that she was putting on herself.

"Now, get some sleep, Celestia," Luna said tenderly stroking her sister's head. "After tomorrow, everything will be back to normal as they should be."

Sighing, Celestia fell asleep as Luna left her sister alone in her room.

…

The next morning, Celestia woke up and once again, was doing her business. All she could do was hope that this was the end of her frequent business trips.

"Sister," Luna said as Celestia came out of the bathroom. "Dr. Crohn's is waiting for you."

"Very well," Celestia sighed as she followed her sister down to Canterlot Hospital's gastroenterology unit. Upon entering, Celestia was processed and laid down on a stretcher as she was wheeled into a room where Dr. Crohn's was waiting.

"Good morning, Princess Celestia," Dr. Crohn's said wearing a surgical mask and green scrubs. "Are you comfortable?"

A syringe containing Novocain was placed into the IV that was stuck in Celestia left front leg. Celestia couldn't speak and merely nodded her head.

"Very well," said Dr. Crohn's. "Now in just a few moments, you will fall asleep and we will perform the colonoscopy. You should be awake in about 20 minutes."

With those words, Celestia fell asleep and the procedure began. 20 minutes later, just as Dr. Crohn's had foretold, the procedure was over and the questions regarding Celestia's stomach pains were about to be answered…

Chapter 3: "After the Procedure"

When Celestia opened her eyes, she found herself surrounded by curtains in a large recovery room. But, she wasn't alone.

"Sister," she heard a voice that belonged to Luna calling out to her. "Sister! Wake up! It's over."

"Where…where…?" Celestia tried to say in a groggily voice thanks to the anesthetic.

"Shh, lie still now," Luna whispered. "The procedure is over. You've just been brought here to recover. Dr. Crohn's should be here any minute with the results."

At that moment, the curtains pulled back and Dr. Crohn's came inside with several folders in his aura. Celestia weakly raised her head upon him entering.

"Princess Celestia," he said in a tender voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she whispered, still feeling groggy due to the medication.

"It's going to take a few hours before the anesthetic wears off," he said. "So, I've got some good news and bad news for you. The good news is that we had found some pre-cancerous polyps in your stomach that we managed to remove."

Hearing that there were pre-cancerous polyps in Celestia's stomach sent a chill down Luna's spine, despite the fact that they were removed.

"The bad news is that we found that you do indeed have irritable bowel syndrome," he continued. "So, what I have decided to do is to have you start taking these every 30 minutes before every meal."

He then proceeded to write up a prescription on a piece of parchment, handing it over for Luna to take.

"What I have prescribed for you is what is called Hycocomine Sulf. These pills will help you in prevent stomach cramps and allow you to eat normally. But, I also recommend you find a way to control your stress levels, Princess Celestia."

"How…do…you…"

"Remember what I said to you about having us take a break at some point?" reminded Luna.

"That's actually not a bad idea," suggested Dr. Crohn's. "I personally think that might do you some good in the long run. I would start planning right away and let somepony else fill in for you, maybe Princess Twilight, perhaps?"

"That's what I suggested," replied Luna in a somewhat firm voice. "In the meantime, I think we should we schedule a follow up. What do you think, Dr. Crohn's?"

"I think we should schedule one in a few days," he suggested. "I'd like to see how you are doing with the medicine and I would also recommend possibly having a colonoscopy every couple of months in case any more polyps form in your stomach."

"Don't worry, we will be back," said Luna, looking over at Celestia. "In the meantime, I'll take my sister home."

So, Celestia was escorted from the hospital and brought back to Canterlot castle. Once she arrived, Celestia was confined to her room. However, despite the fact that her sister did indeed have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Luna was still trying to comprehend the fact that Celestia had precancerous polyps in her system.

…

A few hours later, Luna went to check on her big sister, who was now clear of the anesthetic.

"I see you're back to your normal self, Celestia," Luna remarked as she walked into the room. "How are you feeling?"

"Glad to be over the hump," said Celestia, who took notice of the distressed look on her little sister's face. "You seem troubled, Luna."

"Well, Dr. Crohn's discovered that you had…"

However, Luna couldn't finish her sentence.

"That I had what?"

"Sister…you had precancerous polyps that were discovered in your stomach," said Luna, nervously. "I just can't help but think that…"

Hearing this also brought a chill down Celestia's spine for she had no idea that there was cancer inside of her.

"Luna, are you sure that I had cancer inside of me?"

"Yes. You were too drugged by the anesthetic to hear properly, but you did have precancerous polyps that Dr. Crohn's was able to remove. Now, I hope you begin to see why I wanted you to get a colonoscopy, but you didn't listen to me and…"

Luna couldn't finish her sentence as Celestia began to realize just how stubborn and how foolish she was. She tried to ignore the warnings that her body was giving her and that had she listened to her body sooner, then the outcome would have been a different one.

"Luna," she sighed, motioning for her sister to come forward. "You were right, I should have listened to you, but I didn't. I just…I just didn't want to cause any unnecessary panic amongst our subjects, that's all."

"But they would have panicked had you not gone through the colonoscopy, Celestia," cried Luna, stamping her foot down in frustration. "Don't you see, Celestia? Did you want our subjects to discover that you had cancer? What would the reaction have been like then, huh?"

The more Luna rambled, the more foolish Celestia felt of her actions.

"I..I guess you are right to be angry with me, Luna," she said, admitting her guilt. "I'm…just somepony who doesn't really take care of herself all that much. In a way, I feel…relieved to know those polyps had been removed from my stomach."

"And you should feel relieved!" Luna retorted. "Sister, we've…been separated for 1,000 years and if you hadn't been treated, then it could have gotten to the point where we could have been separated forever."

At that moment, Celestia rose from her bed and pulled Luna close to her, looking at her right in the face.

"Luna, I want you to listen to me very closely," she said firmly and calmly. "This whole experience has been an eye opener for me that I need to start being aware of my overall health. I should have listened to you, but I didn't. Next time, if you feel like something is wrong with me and I am in denial about it, then you have to tell me and I will listen. I can't change the past, but I want you to know that I am sorry for not listening to you. I love you with all my heart, sister."

Touched, Luna felt tears streaming down her and the younger princess of the night collapsed in her sister's forelegs, sobbing for relief and sobbing for being grateful that because of the colonoscopy, Celestia was in a much better situation than she could have been.

…

THE END