“And you are sure this will work?” Mikhail, also known as Misha, best known as Heavy Weapons Guy, asked his friend and ally, Dell Conhager, the team’s Engineer.

“Yup.” Was the Texan’s response. He strode over to the machine he claimed could allow travel between dimensions standing before them; a massive teleporter, crackling with pink energy rather than it’s usual red, hooked up to a large metallic cylinder. Upon the sides were glass pods, inside which were items.

In one were a pair of Pyrovision Goggles. Another held a gas tank, like the one upon the Pyro’s back. Another contained a flamethrower, the next a fire axe, a flare gun, and a few other items. One appeared to be empty, until Dell explained that a Balloonicorn, a rare creature invisible to the naked eye, floated within. Inside the final pod was a book.

“Do ya’ll see the connection between the items? Excludin’ the book, o’ course.”

The other mercenaries cast puzzled looks at another, until ‘Doctor’ Ludwig, the team’s friendly homicidal Medic, spoke up.

“Zey are all related to Pyrovision.”

“Correct! Through dimensional studies, callin’ in a few favors, and help from Merasmus, Ah found out that literally everythin’ exists in an alternate universe. The Pyrovision Goggles act as windows to an alternate reality of ours, but with it’s unique twists. Ah’ve managed to configure this device, which normally would have thrown ya out into the space between dimensions, where ya’d cease to exist, to a universe similar t’ Pyroland. It’s not the same, but ya can expect to find the same silly things there.”

He walked over to the book, and tapped it.

“Now, this is a safety precaution. If we used the teleporter without it, ya could end up at the bottom of the ocean, in a volcano, or in space. This is a book on Narrative Causality. That means tha’ when ya teleport in, ya’ll appear in a way that makes sense accordin’ to the universe’s laws o’ physics. Now, that could still mean one of the things Ah mentioned, but it’s the best we got. Anyone wanna give it a try?”

Everyone looked nervous, before Heavy stepped up. “I will go.” At the others beginning to protest, he held up a hand. “I am strong, and tough. I can survive most things. And if the worst comes to the worst…” He curled his upraised hand into a gun shape, causing the other mercenaries to back away slowly.

“All right then, Heavy. Jus’ step onto the teleporter. Ya won’t be able to teleport back, unless the world has somethin’ tha’ allows tha’, but we can trace ya, and reconfig the teleporter to come get ya. We’ll come check on ya in… A month sound good?” At Heavy’s nod, he stood aside. The Russian man stepped onto the dais, and turned to look at his friends. Soldier gave a salute, and he returned it, before taking a step backwards into the unknown.

“Come on, come on!” Twilight Sparkle cried frustratedly. It was a short time after the group had returned from Starlight’s village, after the mare had escaped. To pass the time, Twilight had been practicing her summoning skills. Celestia had noticed, and given her a unique spell to try; the summoning circle had four large, blocked quarters, and in the centre were three icons, within circles of their own; a minotaur-like fist, with small triangles around it, giving it the impression it was punching through a wall, an unknown skull over twin crossed bones, and the last was blank. It was one of the summons that required an offering, but the offering was by far the oddest she had ever heard. A hat. Preferably a fancy hat, as that raised the chances of the spell working, and if it had an illusory effect on it it was almost certain to work. She currently had a large top hat sitting in the blank circle, enwreathed with false flames. She was pumping magic into the circle, straining herself. But nothing seemed to be happening. Just as she was about to give up, the circle suddenly shifted from it’s chalked white to a deep purple, and then to blood-red. Excited, her efforts redoubled, Twilight continued, before being blown off her hooves by a blinding flash of red light, accompanied by a buzzing whir. Slowly standing upright, she gaped at what she saw.

A large biped, similar to a minotaur, but with key differences. For one, it wore clothing all over it’s body, instead of just pants like a lot of minotaurs she had seen. Hanging from a shoulder and under the other arm, which was hanging limply, was a curious belt covered in cylinders. It had no horns or hooves, instead with a bald head and what her brain dimly remembered as feet. It had a red shirt underneath the belt, with the same fist symbol she had seen in the circle on it’s shoulders. Upon it’s hands were fingerless gloves, with a part cut out of the back of the hand. It had a curious, yet wise expression on it’s face, which quickly turned to one of pain as it grabbed it’s shoulder with a deep, decisively masculine grunt. It didn’t seem to have noticed her, or it’s surroundings, so she started with a shaky “Hello?”

The biped shot his head up, staring at her as his functioning hand instinctively raised into a fighting position. The two stared at each other for a few seconds, before the creature began to snicker. It quickly evolved into a hearty chuckle, then into a full-blown bellow of laughter. For whatever reason, Twilight began laughing too. They stayed like that for a short time, before calming. The creature stuck out a hand in what was probably his version of a hoofshake. When Twilight took it, he confirmed that suspicion with a powerful shake that left Twilight staggering.

“It is good to meet you. I am Mikhail, or Misha, but my friends know me as Heavy.” He proclaimed, in a clearly Rushern accent.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Misha. I’m Twilight Sparkle, but my friends just call me Twilight.” She responded. She had summoned him, so he shouldn’t attack her, but there were tales of summoned creatures being strong enough to break the magical bond. Besides, he was being polite. Why wouldn’t she respond in turn? He nodded, then winced in pain as his limp shoulder moved.

“Are you alright?” She asked, taking a concerned step forward.

“Yes, yes, I am fine. Just a dislocated shoulder.” And before she could do anything, he gripped his arm and forcefully shoved it back into it’s socket. But he didn’t yell out in pain. He just gritted his teeth and hissed, with the precision of someone who had done this sort of thing many times before. And now that she had a closer look, Twilight could see scars, bruises, scrapes. Whoever Heavy was, he had been in a lot of fights. He looked down at her, and she realized just how tall he was compared to her. If the summoner’s bond wouldn’t hold him, he could easily crush her like a bug.

But then his face softened, and she could see kindness in his eyes.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Author's Note

So.
Uh.
This happened.