‘twas a sad thing to see, an large, gem-studded cake with unlit candles. It was somehow fundamentally wrong, like a zebra with horizontal stripes or Angel Bunny wearing a hat. The chocolate and rhinestone confection felt it had somehow failed in a fundamental tenant of its existence.
But then, the singing began.
“ Happy Hatching Day to you~!” sang a crowd of pony voices in unison, filling the room with that birthday magic. The cake suddenly realized what was going on as balloons flew though the air and the confetti showered. “ Happy Hatching Day to you~! Happy Hatching Day, Spiiiike~!”
There was a burst of flame as a little purple and green dragon leaned over and huffed, igniting every one of the candles. The cake let out a inaudible sigh and relaxed - everything was right in the world.
“ Hatching Day to you!” finished the singers - save for Pinkie Pie, who trawled on with “ - and you smell like a gator and look like one too!” as the others finished. Everyone laughed as Spike gave a toothy little smile and shrugged.
“ Hard to argue with the facts!” laughed the little dragon. “ Who wants cake?”
“ Uh, you have to blow the candles back out.” said Rainbow Dash, poking him in the shoulder.
“...not really my forte, Dash.” said Spike with a sarcastic tone. Dash blinked as several of her friends laughed.
“ Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you.” said Rarity, dressed in her best party outfit and a sparkling party hat. She leaned over the cake and blew the candles out. Dash smirked and gave Spike a little punch to the shoulder as he blushed.
The cake missed the fire as the unicorn snuffed the candles, but had to admit it had not looked forwards to the dripping wax messing up it’s frosting. Now it was time to - wait, what was that pink pony doing with a knife?
Oh, Double-Fudge, she was staring at the cake with hunger! And a knife! Oh, she was slashing him! Chocolate-and-Rhinestone could only scream silently as it was dissected and passed out to the partygoers, the pain intensifying as each slice of it’s body were greedily devoured. Finally, the biggest piece, which was thusly where the cakes soul resided, was passed to the little dragon.
It had never asked for this.
But, as the dragons slobbering jaws closed around it, the cake knew it would have the last laugh. For only the dragon could digest the Rhinestones - the ponies were in for a rather unpleasant trip to the bathroom tomorrow! It cackled madly as it fell into a pit of molten acid.
And then it was gone.
My Little Pony, My Little Pony
Ah... My Little Pony
I used to wonder what friendship could be
My Little Pony
Until you all shared its magic with me
Big adventure
Tons of fun
A beautiful heart
Faithful and strong
Sharing kindness
It's an easy feat
And magic makes it all complete
You have My Little Pony
Do you know, you are my very best friends
“ So, these are sugar gemstones?” asked Spike, inspecting the fake-but-delicious gemstone.
“ Yep!” said Pinkie Pie, her tongue swirling around her mouth to lick up the extra frosting. “ I got them from a dragon bakery! They look just like little gems but are puuuure sugar!”
“ Cool.” said Spike, tossing the treat into his mouth and crunching it down. “ So, presents?”
“ Well....present.” said Twilight with a smile. She nodded to Applejack and Fluttershy, who ducked out of the living room and into the upper floor of the library, where Spike’s gift was hidden. A look of shock overtook Spike’s scaly face.
“ W-wait. I only get one present?” he asked, looking to Twilight with watering eyes.
“ Thads not fair!” said Twist, one of the foals invited to the party. “ Yoth thaid not to bwing anythang!”
“ Yeah!” said Snips, looking affronted. “ Now I feel like a jerk!”
“ Happy Hatching Day to you~” said Snails, having not realized the song had ended ten minutes prior.
“ Well, don’t feel bad.” said Twilight, giving the foals a wink. They and the other party attendees who were not in on the secret looked confused. “ Because the present we got Spike was exactly what he asked for.”
“ A-a mountain of gold coins, gemstones, and art pieces to sleep on?” said Spike excitedly, dashing to Twilights side in an instant.
“ Eh he, no.” said Twilight with a nervous little laugh. “ Remember? You asked me for it two months ago?”
Spike looked at her blankly.
“ Well, you’ll know soon enough!” said Rainbow Dash with a laugh as Applejack and Fluttershy entered the room, a large ornately wrapped present on their backs. Behind the crowd of partygoers Pinkie Pie took the carving knife out and began re-cutting the remaining cake so that everypony could have another slice if they wanted.
Setting down the present gingerly, Fluttershy gave a sigh of relief. Applejack backed away, giving Spike a knowing little smirk.
“ Go on.” said Twilight, using a hoof to push Spike forwards. The size of the present seemed to have intimidated him a little, but at her prompting he lunged, tearing though the wrapping like dragon possessed. The papery armor did little to save his foe from Spike’s sharp claws.
And when it was defeated, Spike fell back in shock.
“ A-a typewriter!?” he said, his voice full of awe. Before him, in the tattered remains of box, was a shining, pristine new typewriter. The hardened steel casing glittered like a warriors armor in the library’s candlelight.
“ Woagh.” said Twist in shock.
“ Not just any typewriter.” said Twilight, walking over and indicating a little insignia by the shift key. Spike looked - and squeaked as he saw the silver-stamped griffion claw. “ A brand new, top of the line Griffionforge typewriter with noiseless mechanisms. It had a tri-font core, gaming key layout, and the internal memory ribbon can hold over ten thousand keystokes!”
“ Ogh my Printhess!” said Twist, having circled around the typewriter with Snails and Snips. “ Loogh! Loogh! Ith got adjusthable paper size - that meanth yoth can use a bunch oft dithwent game formaths!”
“ Hey! I could get my some of my brothers gaming ribbons!” said Snips, looking over the gleaming mechanical contraptions. “ He’s got the entire Golden Wagon racing series-”
“ Or, you could check the rest of the box.” said Twilight, indicating the paper ruins. Spike hefted the typewriter out of the box and placed it on the table with reverence.
“ So, what’s so good about these typewriter things again?” asked Applejack, looking to Rainbow Dash. “ Big Macintosh’s the one who’s up on modern technology.”
“ Heh - figures you wouldn’t know.” said Dash with a laugh. “ Well, mostly their just useful for work - you can write up things easier than with a quill and they’ve got built in adding machines and other boring junk - but the real reason anypony likes them are the games.”
A high pitched scream of joy blasted across the room.
“ I asked the guy at the shop and he said this was the one to have.” said Twilight as Spike held the glittering box in his claws. “ He called it the game of the year or something - apparently even Princess Luna’s given it good reviews!”
“ Aw, don’ tell me a pony whose been on the moon a thousand years it better with technology than me.” said Applejack with a little pout.
Spike just stood there, barely breathing, staring at the armored warpony on the box, the embossed title “ The Ancient Scrolls: Heavensedge.”
“ Dude, start itd up!” said Twist, stepping on Spikes tail to snap him out of it.
“ Uh, I think you need to install a few things first.” said Twilight, rooting through the boxes remains with her magic. “ I bought a record player setup for the typewriters sound system-”
“ I-I get my own victrola?” said Spike, noticing the typewriters peripherals floating from the box.
“ And full-spectrum gaming ink, some super-white parchment the pony at the store suggested, and a six-pack of energy drinks.” continued Twilight, levitating the items out and connecting them to the typewriter as she’d been shown, though the drinks landed by spike. “ Ruby flavor, your favorite. The, um, guy at the shop said you’d want the bottles for some reason.”
Snips and Snails nickered quietly.
“ W-w-woah.” said Spike, looking over the sweet new rig. It was almost too much for him to take in at once. Twist started installing Heavensedge’s ribbon for him as he turned to Twilight. He grasped her in a close hug. “ Thanks, Twilight.”
“ No problem, Spike.” she said, going to hug him back. By the time she’d reached up a hoof, however, she found he was gone and was clacking away on the typewriter, Snips and Twist telling him to “ grab that thing!” and “ stab the diamond dog! Stab him - woah, wait, if type in all caps you do a power attack!”
Rolling her eyes and smirking, Twilight returned to the party and her friends.
“mmn.....healing potion.....sword.....zzzzz....”
Twilight giggled quietly as she pulled Spikes blanket over him. In the dark of the bedroom the little sparks from his snores were visible, making the sleeping dragon one of the cutest things she saw every day.
The hatching day party had been an utter success. Spike had gone ga-ga for his present, everypony had shown up, and he’d eaten enough sweets that he crashed right on time for his bedtime, just as Twilight and Pinkie Pie had planned. She quietly tiphoofed away to check downstairs.
While Spike and the foals had played the game Rarity and Twilight had cleaned up, leaving the living room spotless. Spikes typewriter sat on the table they’d reserved for it, a trail of rolled paper drooping off the back. Owlowlcious hooted softly on his perch, beginning to wake for the night.
“ Morning, Owly.” said Twilight, levitating some water into his bowl. “ Applejack says there are a few mice hanging around her barn.”
Owlowlcious hooted in thanks and flew off to find his breakfast.
Turning her attention to her plans, Twilight got out her parchment and quill, wetting the feathered pen with ink and making her list of plans for the night. As she did, she noticed the typewriter, gleaming softly in the dimmed candlelight.
Goal number one - give the typewriter a try. she wrote, setting down her tools and trotting over. She levitated the users manual over and set it down, then used her magic to begin flipping though. She found the section she wanted - use for ponies - and began to read. Being a griffon made device the keys were small, which would be fine for any clawed creature like Spike. She’d seen a pony use a pencil to tap the keys before and wondered if that was okay - and a quick read through showed her that there was a stylus included for pony use.
Levitating the stylus from its holder on the side of the typewriter, she set to reading the rest of the manual.
Having finished, she began to look over the machine. The alien keys seemed to look back, so she decided on a simple test - she’d write her name. As she tapped the keys the little metal arms struck the parchment, spelling her name in black. Oh, but I forgot to capitalize my name... she thought, looking over the keys.
A quick look back though the manual taught her how to use the “shift” and “shift lock” keys. She quickly retapped her name and was surprised when it came out in purple with a single pink letter! She quickly tried her other friends names and was stunned to find the typewriter would use ink to fill in their colorschemes - but then remembered the full-spectrum gaming ink she’d purchased.
This is pretty cool. she thought to herself, checking the adding machine function. She pressed down the button that said “math” and typed two - but the machine didn’t write two. She tapped “plus” and two again and to her surprise the machine wrote four.
She then stress tested the machine with Starswirls Constant, a formulae used in calculating the amounts of magical motes left after a teleportation spell. X = 2+Y, set Y for 37 magijoules, calculate distance in hooves, calculate casters skill as intermediate....
When she hit return, the machine typed the number “ 37.”
Fifty minutes of adding and calculating with her quill and ink later, she arrived at the same answer.
“ Wow.” said Twilight, walking back over to the metal machine - the well oiled parts seemed to gleam with pride. “ I guess I can see why Princess Luna ditched her abacus so quickly.”
Princess Luna... The thoughts of the princess brought another idea to mind. The princess had apparently given Heavensedge a “royal seal of approval”, which had prompted the publisher to re-issue a collectors edition with the seal on the cover - the edition which was “loaded” into the ribbon slot in the typewriter.
Should she give it a go?
She thought back to earlier. Spike had apparently been having the time of his life and Snips and Twist had been enraptured - but they had already played type games before. Spike being awestruck was one thing - more experienced gamers being awestruck was another. If the type game was that fun, it could be a nice way to wile away a few hours before she went to sleep.
That settles it. she thought, heading to the kitchen to make herself a snack. I’m taking the evening off and giving Owlowlcious a break too. It’s Spikes Hatching Day - I had a hoof in that, so I deserve a little party too.
A few minutes later she sat at the typewriter, a steaming cup of rose tea and the final slice of cake at her side. She spiked a chunk of cake with a fork and ate it, then turned her attention to the game.
< The Ancient Scrolls: Heavensedge> the machine typed. < New Game - Continue - Load - Settings>
Twilight checked the games manual. What she wanted was a “new game”, but Spike had already “saved” a “file”. She decided to back out and make herself a different “profile” as the manual suggested so she wouldn’t “save over” someone else's “file”.
I’m going to need more quotation marks. she thought, typing her name into the profile list. To her surprise her name - Twilight Sparkle - turned into a list of gibberish symbols, such as numbers and backslashes. As she looked, however, she noticed that the symbols could be combined to letters which then spelled her name. The other profile, which she assumed was Spikes, had been similarly translated. I’ll...figure that out later. she decided.
Returning to the game, the typewriter wrote . She selected new game and the machine began to whir wildly. Twilight watched in fascination as the machine typed lines, letters, numbers, and punctuation marks rapidly into what eventually formed a picture of a beautiful mountain range. It was strange, to see a picture made up of letters. Suddenly, some of the lettered changed, the blue and grays of the mountains and sky turning red! They spelled out several names, crediting the ponies and gryphons for the games production, and then a new picture was typed.
< You awaken in the back of a wagon, your limbs bound.> it wrote, the picture of three earth ponies appearing row by row as the hammers clacked across the page. One had a blonde mane, the other looked scared, and a third wore nobles vestments and had a bridle-bit gagging him! < You do not remember how you arrived here. The blonde pony introduced himself as Ralof and asks if you are feeling okay....
Twilights eyes widened as the game continued. She was taken to some sort of fortress, having been accidentally captured with a bunch of rebels! The earth ponies blamed the unicorns standing alongside an armored warpony, calling them an unfamilar term. A foal called out at the prisoners as they passed, but was taken back inside a building by his father.
And then the wagons stopped.
< Ralof Says “ Well, end of the line.”. The Celestial Empire’s guards form around you and the other rebels and you are taken from the wagons. A earth pony begins to read from a list. The rebels face their turns with dignity, as does Ulfric Thunderhoof, but when the monkey-thief is called he gallops away. He is cut down by arrows.>
I-I let Spike play such a violent game? she thought in horror, thinking back to the other games in the store. There had been some with much tamer looking boxes, but the salespony had convinced her that Spike would be fine with the game.
< You are called next. Choose your race - Earth Pony, Unicorn, Pegasus, Diamond Dog, Buffalo, Griffon.>
Without thinking, Twilight typed Unicorn. A moment later she realized she was still playing, despite her horror.
Owlowlcious was late when he returned an hour later, but Twilight didn’t notice. Her Unicorn was escaping with the a Celestian earth pony, the one who had been reading the lists, from a Ursa Major attack on the fortress. In the confusion she’d been freed by the rebels, but she trusted the loyalist forces more - and even in game she didn’t want to betray her mentor. She’d chosen to focus on using magic - unicorns had much more powerful magic than the other races, just like in real life - but had been wielding an axe with her mouth as she had little “mana” and quickly burned though her spells.
< Hadvar and Starswirl escape the caves, finding themselves outside.> it typed. Twilight smirked slightly - she’d accidentally made her unicorn a male, so she’d named him after her favorite magician. The typewriter put out an image of a mountain valley, a giant ruin build into the rock on a cliff ahead of them. < Hadvar suggests following him to Riverwood, where his uncle can provide shelter. Do you follow?>
“ Hoo.”
“ Oh, my.” said Twilight, looking away from the paper for the first time in an hour. “ Wow, these things really suck you in.”
“ Hoo.”
Twilight got up, walking a little to loosen her neck. She’d gotten so enraptured in the game after the shocking attack of the monstrous bear and her fortuitous escape she’d forgotten about her tea completely. She was surprised to see how quickly the time had passed as well - in an hour, it would be time to sleep.
“.....but, this is my night off.” she said to herself, looking back to the typewriter. “ Owlowlcious, lets take tonight off. I’m kinda enjoying this game.”
“ Hoo!” said the owl, flapping his wings happily. He fluttered back outside, leaving Twilight alone.
With a smile, Twilight returned to the adventure. She didn't sleep at all that night.
