The Coolest Pegasus In Ponyville
Stretching her wings, Rainbow Dash glided from her home down towards Ponyville. It was a beautiful, sunny day, without a single cloud, so her view of the town was perfect. From her vantage point, she could make out the vendors peddling their wares in the market square, tour groups walking around town taking pictures, foals having fun in the school playground, and the magnificent splendour of Twilight's castle, which shone like a beacon in the sunlight.
She landed, with a flourish, outside Town Hall and looked around for any sign of her friends. She could make out Applejack at her stall, haggling with a pony over the cost of her apples, while Pinkie Pie was at the head of one of the tour groups. Twilight was standing on one of her castle's balconies, and Dash couldn't see hide nor mane of either Fluttershy or Rarity.
"I'll go and see Twilight," Dash said to herself. "She looks like she could use some company, and probably – knowing her – a break."
She began walking towards the castle, casting her glance towards a poster on the noticeboard outside Town Hall. The large, jazzy font had grabbed her attention, so she went over to look at it. Casting her eyes over the poster, her grin became noticeably wider – and her expression ever more smug – with each word she read.
"'Are you the coolest pegasus in Ponyville?'" she read out loud. "'If you think you are, then come on down to the park at 3pm today and compete with other pegasi to prove it; there is a cash prize of one thousand bits to the winner.'" She pumped the air with a forehoof. "Aww, yeah! I am so entering this... not that I ever needed a reason to prove that I'm cool." She thought for a moment. "Then again, the thousand bits is a nice incentive." Glancing at the town clock, she gasped. "Whoa, the competition is starting soon; I'd better get down there! Sorry, Twi, but I'll visit you later... to show you my massive sack of bits!"
Shooting off in the direction of the park, the rush of air from her departure tore posters and leaflets off the noticeboard, scattering them like the first flakes of snow in winter. She arrived at the park moments later; looking around at the other pegasi she could see Flitter, Cloudchaser, Thunderlane, Blossomforth and many more would-be competitors. Dash snorted and took her place in the line to register, her presence not going unnoticed.
"Oh, great." Thunderlane rolled his eyes. "Rainbow Dash actually bothered to turn up." He turned to her. "We thought you'd still be asleep, what with it being three o' clock on a Saturday afternoon."
He grinned at his own joke, Flitter and Cloudchaser giggled into their forehooves, and Dash rolled her eyes.
"Oh, wow," she said sarcastically. "It's almost as if my time in the Wonderbolts has made me more aware of my sleeping pattern." She waved a forehoof dismissively at Thunderlane. "But don't worry about it, Thunderlane; I might be disqualified from entering because, for all I know, they could have a 'no professionals' rule."
"Very funny, Dash," Thunderlane replied. "Anyway, I don't know what you're expecting from this, because this isn't a talent show. We simply register, stand on a stage, and everypony else votes for who wins. No showboating, no tricks, no fuss."
Dash grinned at him. "In that case, then, I've got this in the bag."
Thunderlane narrowed his eyes. "We'll see about that." he said, stepping forward to speak to the pony acting as the registrar.
Dash watched him sign his name; when he left, she stepped forward to put down her own name, fully confident that her victory, as well as her well deserved – in her eyes, at least – crowning as the 'Coolest Pegasus In Ponyville' was assured.
***
"Can I count on your vote?"
"Please help me win this; it would mean so much to me!"
"I can't vote for myself, so can I rely on you to vote instead?"
Standing on the stage with the other pegasi, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but groan internally at their attempts to win over the public. Flitter and Cloudchaser were batting their eyelashes at everypony, Blossomforth was stretching herself into all sorts of shapes, and Thunderlane had puffed his chest out so much, he looked more like a bird trying to win a mate than a stallion trying to win a contest.
"Aren't you going to say anything, Rainbow Dash?" asked one of the spectators, a unicorn stallion. "Surely something about how awesome you are, and we should all vote for you?"
Dash shook her head. "No, Haywick, I'm not," she replied. "Everypony already knows it, so I don't need to say it. I'm just gonna sit here and wait for the votes to roll in."
Haywick looked surprised. "Oh, okay then," he said. "Well, good luck, Rainbow Dash, I hope it all works out for you."
"Thanks, Doc." Dash winked at him. "But it goes without saying that the title, and the money, are all mine." She rubbed her forehooves together eagerly, not noticing as Haywick backed away from her with a nervous smile on his face.
***
"May I have your attention, please?" the voice of Mayor Mare rang out through a megaphone. "We have counted and verified the votes, and I am pleased to announce that we have a clear winner!"
Dash smiled smugly and began to walk slowly forwards, already expecting the Mayor to announce her name.
"The winner, and 'Coolest Pegasus in Ponyville,' is..."
She paused for dramatic effect, while Dash continued her slow stroll across the stage. The prize money was firmly in her sights, and she was already spending every last bit in her head.
But her glee and smug demeanour came crashing down in an instant, when the Mayor finally made her announcement.
"Derpy!"
Dash's eyes snapped open and she stopped dead in her tracks, listening as the crowd cheered their approval.
"What?!" Dash shouted. "How did Derpy win?!"
The answer came in the form of the mailmare herself, who was gingerly climbing onto the stage to accept her prize. Perched upon her muzzle, Dash could make out a pair of sunglasses. They had grey rims and bright purple lenses, and gave Derpy an aura of coolness that even Dash couldn't deny existed.
"They suit her so well," she said to herself, as she let out a small sigh. "All right, I'll admit defeat, just this once."
When Derpy's daughter ran onto the stage and gave her mother the biggest hug she could muster, Dash cracked a smile.
"Then again, I can't think of anypony else I'd rather lose to..."
Author's Note
Thanks to Rapidsnap from UK Bronies and Pegasisters for providing the inspiration for this story: a picture of his Derpy plush wearing Spitfire's sunglasses.
