The Iron Horse: Why Not My Father?

by The Hat Man

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Science Fiction, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 3197

Turing Test is a robot. Her dad is a formerly evil mad scientist. She has a question: Why should Starlight Glimmer go free while her dad is behind bars?

Turing Test is a robot pony built by a formerly evil "mad scientist." It's the day before Sire's Day, and she's spending time with Twilight Sparkle, her very best friend and mentor. But she has questions: Why should Starlight Glimmer go free while her father is behind bars? And what separates one former villain from another?

(Set in early Season 6. A meditation on justice, on family, and on what makes a suitable pie filling.)

Published 2018-06-18 05:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-06-18 05:30:06 UTC

Sire's Day

Note: Some moderate spoilers for The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots! if you haven't read it yet. Not a huge deal if you haven't, though.

“...And I’m sure Shining Armor will love his present too!” Twilight said, clapping her hooves together. “I just can’t wait to spend Sire’s Day in the Crystal Empire with Dad and my brother and the rest of the family.”

“It sounds like a very special occasion,” Turing said.

The pair were seated across from each other in Twilight’s dining room. Twilight had a cup of tea while Turing, as usual, had nothing.

“It is!” Twilight agreed. “After all, it’s Shining Armor’s first one as a father!”

“It sounds quite enjoyable,” Turing said.

Twilight paused. “Would you like to join us, Turing?” she asked. “I’m sorry for not inviting you before, it’s just that you haven’t really talked to my parents very much…”

Turing shook her head. “Your offer is appreciated, Twilight Sparkle,” she said, “but there is no need to worry. I have made plans with my own father.”

“Ah, you’re going to visit Professor Cobbler!” Twilight surmised. “That sounds really nice, Turing!”

“I am glad you think so. I am greatly looking forward to it, even though I see my father on a regular basis. 001 and 004 will also be attending later. Regrettably, we still have not located 002, though I have no reason to believe her opinion of Father has changed.”

Twilight nodded sadly. “Well, still,” she said, “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

“I wish the same for you and Spike the Dragon.”

“And Starlight!”

Turing tilted her head to the side. “Starlight Glimmer?”

“Well, she’s mostly going to see Sunburst.”

Turing tapped her chin. “It is typical to spend this holiday with one's parents, if possible. Is Starlight perhaps… an orphan?”

Twilight wrinkled her nose and looked away. “Actually… she just said she didn’t want to talk about her dad. She didn’t seem sad or upset… just annoyed.”

“You did not encourage her to speak about her issue, or perhaps to repair her relationship with her father?”

Twilight shook her head. “I honestly didn’t feel like it was my place to get involved in another pony’s business.”

“Unless the Map indicates otherwise,” Turing remarked, using her LED eye to imitate raising an eyebrow.

“Hey,” Twilight said, pointing a hoof at her with a smirk, “I’m still the closest thing to a mother you’ve got, young robot. Don’t be a smartflank with me, or I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.”

Turing tapped her faceplate, visually reminding Twilight that she had no mouth to speak of (or with). “I do not see that happening. Any other ideas, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Pi is exactly three.”

Turing seemed to wince.

“What is the sound of one hoof clapping?” Twilight asked, leaning forward on the table. “Which came first: the dragon or the egg?”

“Ahhhh!” Turing said, holding her head and shaking it vigorously. “Please stop, I will be good!”

Twilight finally started to crack up and Turing displayed upward arcs in her eyes (like this: ^^) to show her own amusement as well.

“Hahaha!” Twilight laughed. “You’re too funny, Turing!”

“Ha ha, Twilight Sparkle,” Turing replied. She paused, waiting for Twilight to stop chuckling, and said: “Actually, this may be an opportune time for me to bring up a particular topic of discussion I have been wary about for some time.”

Twilight blinked. “Uh, what topic do you mean?”

“Starlight Glimmer.”

Twilight froze. “Starlight? Why do you want to talk about her?”

“To be more specific, Twilight Sparkle, I wish to discuss her punishment for her recent revenge plot against you,” Turing said. “Or, to be more exact, her lack of punishment.”

Twilight frowned. “Turing, you met her. I thought you liked her.”

Turing nodded. “I do like her.”

“Oh!” Twilight said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, I thought you meant that you thought she should be punished.”

“I do not believe that it is my place to judge Starlight. It is your right as a Princess to pardon her for her crimes. You gave me a chance to have a life of my own when nopony else would, and so I trust your judgment in giving her a chance as well. I am hopeful that she will learn about friendship just as I did. You are a good teacher, after all.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say, Turing,” Twilight said, giving her a warm smile. “I think she’s going to do great things one day. Just like you are.”

Turing glanced down. “It makes me very happy to hear you say that, Twilight Sparkle… but while I do not object to your choice of reformation over punishment, I am curious as to why you did so.”

“Well, um… that’s… hang on, Turing,” she said, shaking her head. “If you don’t object, then why do you want to know? Is it simple curiosity, or are you going somewhere with this?”

Turing’s eyes shifted. “The latter,” she replied. “Allow me to explain:

“Starlight Glimmer’s actions, though motivated by personal revenge, had potentially dire consequences for all of Equestria. Your life, the lives of our friends, the lives of my family, and even my own could have been drastically different. While you did not encounter any alternate versions of me, it is possible that I still existed in those other timelines. If Starlight had been successful, I could have remained a mindless slave. I could have been destroyed before ever being completed. I would never have met you, and thus it is unlikely that I ever had the chance to become my own person.

“Starlight Glimmer’s actions nearly ruined everypony’s lives. Her crimes could have had unparalleled consequences for all of Equestria.”

Twilight nodded solemnly. “I know, Turing,” she said quietly. “I know that better than anypony.”

“And yet she is allowed to be free,” Turing said, holding out one hoof. “Again, I do not object to your decision. But I have one question.”

“And that is?” Twilight asked.

“If she is allowed to be free,” Turing said, holding out her other hoof, “then why not my father?”

Twilight gave a start. “Your father?”

“Correct,” Turing said. “You see, both Starlight Glimmer and my father committed horrible acts against Equestria, both were motivated by a desire for revenge against a princess, and both endangered the lives of countless ponies. Likewise, both have repented for their actions and are making amends for them.

“But Starlight Glimmer goes free while my father remains imprisoned. I wish to know why.”

Twilight bit her lip. “That’s… not necessarily an easy question to answer, Turing,” she said.

“Being difficult does not mean it is undeserving of an answer,” Turing said. “Allow me to repeat: I do not wish to see Starlight imprisoned. However, if she were, as my father is, I would not be asking you this question. It seems unfair to me that one has been granted their freedom while the other has not.”

Twilight nodded. “I understand where you’re coming from,” she said, “but we’re talking about two very different situations.”

Turing tilted her head. “In what way?”

“First of all,” Twilight said, “Starlight wasn’t trying to destroy Equestria. She just wanted revenge on me.”

“My father did not intend to destroy Equestria either,” she said. “He wanted to make it a better place. Nevertheless, his shortsightedness and personal grudge against Celestia caused him to act irrationally. Just like Starlight Glimmer.”

“Maybe so, but Starlight is ultimately the one who stopped herself,” Twilight said.

“And my father ultimately gave up the power of the corrupted Elements of Harmony, meaning he was responsible for stopping himself,” Turing pointed out.

Twilight rubbed her temples. “Well, there’s at least one big difference between the two, Turing, and I’m sure you’ll agree about this,” she said. “Cobbler Mustang’s actions are still fresh in everypony’s mind. What he did had the potential to cause a revolt, and we still don’t know what the TechQuestrian revolt’s long-term effects are.

“But with Starlight, nopony knows about them except for me and Spike. Nothing she did had any lasting effect. In the end, there was no harm done.”

Turing narrowed her eyes. “That you know of,” she said.

“Huh?” Twilight asked. “Turing, everything’s back to normal, I—”

“It is possible that the very act of traveling through time had consequences that neither of us could detect,” Turing said. “If it changed something that did not have a direct effect on you, then it is possible that you would not be aware of the change. A pony you do not know could have a very different life from the one he or she might have had otherwise, and you would never know of it.”

“I suppose that’s possible,” Twilight said, “but that’s just a hypothetical.”

“Then perhaps I should address the former part of your argument,” Turing said. “You stated that nopony knows about Starlight’s actions.”

She leaned forward on the table.

“What if I told everypony what she did?”

Twilight gasped. “Turing!

Turing only stared back at her, and then Twilight’s expression darkened.

“That’s not funny, Turing,” she said.

“I was not attempting to be humorous,” Turing said, her eyes still fixed on Twilight. “I will ask you again… what would happen if were to tell everypony what Starlight Glimmer did?”

Twilight stared back at her.

“I believe the crux of your argument is that my father is in prison because everypony knows of his crimes, while Starlight’s remain obscure. But the lack of knowledge of her crimes does not negate them.”

Twilight was silent. She swallowed.

Then she took a deep breath, sat up, and closed her eyes. “Very well, Turing,” she said. “Then do it.”

Turing sat up. “‘Do it?’ What do you mean?”

“Go ahead and tell everypony all about what Starlight did,” Twilight said. “I have no means or right to stop you, after all. So go ahead, tell everypony that Starlight nearly destroyed all of Equestria. I can imagine how they’ll feel… they’ll be outraged. They’ll demand some sort of justice.

“And Starlight Glimmer’s life will be ruined,” Twilight said quietly as she gave Turing a long, hard look. “Even if she doesn’t go to prison, she’ll be hated and feared by nearly everypony around her, and that will probably be the end of her friendship lessons with me.

“You’ll have wrecked her life… and it won’t change anything for your father.”

Turing bowed her head, her ears squeaking on their hinges as they drooped. “I… I am sorry, Twilight Sparkle,” she whispered sadly.

Twilight went over to her and gave her a hug. “There there, it’s okay,” Twilight said. “You almost had me, but I know you’d never do that to Starlight. But still, I’m surprised that you would threaten to do so, even if it was just a bluff. And that you’d actually try to bluff me!”

Turing returned the hug. “Please forgive me, Twilight Sparkle,” Turing said. “I only—”

“You were just trying to negotiate with me to have your father released,” Twilight surmised.

Turing looked up, her eyes shrinking to pinpricks.

Twilight smiled.“You must really care about him to try aggressive negotiation tactics against me of all ponies!”

“I only want my father to be free,” Turing said. “He is not a young stallion… I do not wish to see him spend his remaining years locked in that tower. Please… please, Twilight Sparkle, is there nothing you can do to free him? I want to know my father outside of his cell. I want him in my life while there is still time to know him.

“I want my daddy to come home.”

Twilight smiled. “Under these circumstances, there’s nothing I can do alone,” she said. “It will take a conference with the other princesses… but I’ll talk with Luna and Celestia as soon as possible. I’ll do everything I can for your father, okay?”

Turing laid her head on Twilight’s shoulder. “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle.”

“You’re welcome, Turing,” Twilight said. “When you see Professor Mustang, wish him a happy Sire’s Day for me.”

***

“I bid three,” Cobbler Mustang said as he stared across the table.

“I will see your three,” Turing said, “and raise you two more.”

The two were seated at the center of the spacious circular room atop the tower where Cobbler was incarcerated.

“Two?” Cobbler asked, raising an eyebrow. “My my… it seems you’ve got quite a hot hoof, Turing Test.”

“It will cost you two more bits to find out,” Turing said.

Her father had taught her to play Mane Star Holdem in recent weeks. At first, her ability to sense biometric data made the game far too simple, as she could almost always tell when somepony was bluffing. However, at Cobbler’s request, she’d started a subroutine to filter out things like heartbeat and external body temperature, essentially reducing her to the same level as an organic player.

A very observant organic, but still less than perfect.

“Well, if you are so confident, then I will see your two and raise three more!” Cobbler said with a grin.

Turing only stared back at him. “That does not seem like an effective strategy,” she said. “Given your remaining chips and the probability of a winning—”

“My dear, did you come to talk or did you come to play?” Cobbler asked.

“Both,” Turing replied. “But I understand your meaning. I will see and raise two more.”

“Oh dear,” Cobbler said, pursing his lips. “Quite the predicament you have me in here, Turing Test.” He glanced up at her and grinned. He tossed two more chips onto the pile. “I call.”

Turing stared back at him. “I see. Then you have—”

“A full house,” Cobbler said, raising an eyebrow. “Which you can’t beat, can you?”

Turing lowered her head. She flipped over her cards.

“Three of a kind. You win, Father.”

“Heh heh heh,” Cobbler chuckled, gathering up his winnings. “Not bad at all, sweetheart, but this ol’ stallion still knows his way around a poker table. I do believe you’re getting better at your bluffs, though.”

“Perhaps not good enough,” Turing said quietly.

Cobbler frowned. “Now why do I get the feeling that you are not talking about cards?” he asked. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Turing hesitated a moment, then nodded. “Very well, Father. I suppose you should know what happened yesterday…”

Cobbler listened as Turing told him about her conversation with Twilight the previous day.

“Ah, I see,” Cobbler said. He gave her a sly grin. “Well, though it may have been a bit underhoofed, I do applaud you on your strategy. If your job with the government ever becomes tiresome, I daresay you may have a future in business.”

“That is kind of you to say, Father,” she said, “but you are mistaken. After all, my strategy failed.”

“Actually,” Cobbler said, “I think it did more than you think.”

“What do you mean?”

He chuckled. “I was going to tell you and the others about this later, but this morning Celestia notified me that my first parole hearing has been moved up by six months. I’ll get to make my case three months from now.”

Turing shot to her hooves. “Oh! Oh, Father, that is wonderful news!”

“It seems Twilight Sparkle was moved to argue quite vigorously on my behalf by citing some manner of precedent,” Cobbler said. “And now I know what that precedent was.”

“Father!” Turing cried, running over to him and embracing him.

“Oh, don’t make a fuss now,” Cobbler said, patting her on the back. “After all, a hearing is just that. It ain’t no guarantee that they’ll grant me parole. And while I do appreciate the effort, there’s no need to concern yourself. After all, free or not, I’ll be fine as long as I have one thing.”

“What would that be, Fa—” Turing paused, looking over to the door. A moment later, there was a knock.

“Visitors!” one of the guards called.

They filed in one by one: Auntie Bellum, followed by 001 and 004.

“Well, we’re finally here!” Auntie Bellum exclaimed. “I declare, that train ride gets bumpier every time we take it! Anyway, we brought ya some gifts, nephew, so later on we can unwrap ‘em. And don’t you go guessing what they are, because it’s a surprise and—”

“Issa pie!” 001 shouted, leaping in the air.

Auntie sighed. “It’s a peach pie,” she said. “Told ‘er 20 dang times to keep it a secret and what does she do? Goes right ahead and blabs about it…”

“Me make a pie for Dada too!” 001 exclaimed. “Made it outta samiches an’ candy bars! Auntie say no good, tho, so we made dis one instead.”

“I’m sure it’s delicious, sweetie,” Cobbler said.

“I have also procured you a gift, Father,”004 said, stepping forward. He held up a bowling ball. “The shop owner stated that it was a commonly desired gift for Sire’s Day. I hope you will enjoy it.”

Cobbler raised an eyebrow. “Well, uh, I don’t believe I’ll be going bowling anytime in here, son, so—”

“Understood,” 004 said, picking up the ball. “Gift is insufficient. I will destroy it immediately.”

“No no no!” Cobbler exclaimed, reaching for it. “I, uh… I’ll find some use for it, I’m sure. Thank you very much, son, I’m very happy with your present.”

004 raised his head. “Yay.”

They all gathered around Cobbler, embracing him as a group.

“As I was saying, Turing,” he said, looking down at her as she held him. “I’ll be fine as long as I have one thing: my family.”

He kissed her on her forehead.

“Happy Sire’s Day, Father,” she said. “We love you.”

“And I love you all too,” he said, a warm smile on his face. “Now let’s cut that pie, and you can tell me all about what y’all have been up to.”

And so Turing spent the day with her father and the rest of her family. Despite being in prison, getting a bowling ball he couldn’t use, and finding a sandwich in his slice of pie, Cobbler said it was one of the best Sire’s Days he’d ever had.

Author's Note

Just a little something I whipped up on Father's Day. Sorry if it's a bit late, and for pre-empting one of my other stories for a one-shot. But just the same, I think you'll like it. (Also, note: since it was so quickly written for Father's Day, it hasn't been heavily edited by my usual team. If you spot an error or two, let me know. Sorry. :twilightsheepish:)

Also, this story was partly inspired by GaPJaxie's posts that inspire conversation and debate. I thought I'd try it, but it was too long for a simple blog post, so you get a story out of it instead!

Anyway, feel free to comment. What do you think about the notion of reform vs punishment? What makes one criminal more deserving of punishment than another? And seriously, how the heck is bowling a thing in Equestria?!