"So, where we goin' right now?"

"I can't tell you, silly. It's a surprise!" Wading states.

We return to the Mare with the Marshmallows who's escorting a blindfolded Babs to an unknown location. Well, unknown to Babs that is. Soon there's a loud roar of cheers and screams.

"Woah! What was that?"

"Hehe, you'll see."

The two ponies arrive at a long line outside of a large stadium. There, a stallion's voice can be heard on the speakers.

"And coming in the ring, the master cart blaster, the Manehattan disaster...GrazeDigger!"

*gasp* That is NOT what I think it is!"

"Oh, it is!" she assures, removing the blindfold from the anticipating filly.

Babs' eyes are as big as dinner plates at the sight of the building.

"THE CART-O-RAMA ROLLER DERBY!!!" she's jumping faster than Pinkie on sugar.

"I think we did an honorable job here, Wading. Truly heroic."
"Eh, needs a little more confetti."

"Way ahead of ya!" Wading pulls out her cannon and fires in the air.

"Happy Birthday, Babs!" she screams euphorically.

Before she can react, Babs is once again clinging to her arm covered in glitter and confetti.

"How did you know I like derbies so much?" she asks, eyes filled with tears of joy.

"I know about everypony and their favorite things."

"That...sounded WAY less creepy in here."

A half hour or so later, Wading returns to her seat with Celestia knows how many sweets at her disposal. Babs on the other hoof, is at the edge of hers as she is fully invested in the derby, carts blown to splinters and horseshoes scattered all over the arena. As Wading reaches her seat, she spots a purple playing card with an 'S' labelled on it.

"Oh, so looks like someone wants to play hide-n-seek, eh? Well GAME ON!!!"

What about the kid?"

"Woooo, GrazeDigger! Crush 'em! SMASH 'em!"

"...she'll be fine."

Wading sneaks out of her seat, although just getting up and leaving didn't matter, she was THAT into the event, and trots off to face-

"Hold it right there, NG! It's superpony rules that the hero/heroine give a proper introduction to their arch-nemesis!"

Alright, alright. Go for it.

"This is the story of my arch-enemy, Stitch Punk. Flashback noises!"

Wooo0oo000oo00o0o

"Once upon a time, there was a pony named Spin Top, an intelligent famous toymaker whose inventive playthings and silly riddles entertained foals for years until things like wooden trains and puppets went considered 'old-fashioned'. He tried desperately to search for the materials to create the next best toy in Equestria, stumbling upon a mystical gem that transformed him into a meany stuffed pony doll. Going by the name 'Stitch Punk', Spin Top creates dangerous toys in order to fulfill his new life's purpose: To ruin everypony's good time.
I encountered this party pooper at a filly's cute-ceañera trying to steal the presents. For such a newborn sized doll, ol' Stitchy is stronger than he appears, but that's what party cannons are for. Ever since, Stitchy's been seeing all this as some sort of game. He would leave clues of his upcoming plans during HUGE events, steal the festivities when ponies are unaware, and gives me a few hours to find them before he destroys them! But every time I nearly nab him, he always has an escape plan for future sequels. Clichéd, I know."

"Enough explaining already! What's the clue card say?!"
"Yeah! Let's find and kick his fluffy cotton tail!"

"Alright...it's two symbols:"

"A trophy
and a door.

P.S.
I hate you. ;p"

"W-Well, we hate you too! NYAH!"
"Great comeback..."

"Enough sarcasm! What does this all mean?!"

"Well all we know for sure is that it has something to do with a trophy."
"Though, what does the door mean?"

"Hm. A door is on the wall....and they lead to a...room."

*Tick tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock*
*DING*

"Oh my realization, the trophy room! Let's save this party!"

"Not that much of a party, actually."
"PARTY!!!"
*sigh*

The masked mare gallops through the crowd of riled up ponies. The occasional hunks of wood and tires would fly throughout the stadium. She finally makes it to the trophy room's entrance where two stallions are guarding.

"CUPCAKES!!! How're we gonna get in the-"

Pinkie's smirk grows wider and wider.

"NO!"
"Ah, come on Smart Pink! It'll be fun!"
"No. It hasn't been tested yet."

"Now's a perfect time."

The cheeky mare pulls out a blue cube with a blinking red button.

"We haven't worked out the kinks! It's not time and why am I even protesting we all know you're gonna do it anyway."
"Now you're getting it!"

PP pushes the button and tosses the beeping contraption at the stoic guards. They seem to take the bait...at least I think they did. It's hard to tell with those sunglasses. Then all at once, strobe lights beam out all directions, polka music blaring loud, and multicolored smoke fills the area until...

*POP*
*SQUEAK*

"My eyes!"

"So...much...color!"

The two stallions are COVERED in paint, glitter and, of course-

"CONFETTI!!!"
"I stand corrected."

"The Celebrationator! Best...new...weapon...EVAH!!!"

Pinkie enters the building behind the occupied guards. Inside is a grand room filled with trophies, medals, ribbons and plaques won in past events.

"Sweet Celestia, this place is HUGE!"
"Where's that patched up fiend."

"I don't know. Show yourself, Stitchy!"

"Oh, Pinkie. How can I refuse a request like that?"

Out from the highest shelf in the room emerges the deranged doll himself.

"Ta-da! Here I am, your favorite evil toy. Up for another game of tag?"

"This is NO game!"
"We are going to wash out our mouths after this is all over.

"I am the sworn protector of the city's parties!"

"You are the sworn protector of the city's parties, then I am their sworn CRASHER! And we'll keep playing this little game until I ruin everypony's good time, starting with this derby trophy!"

"But what will stealing the prize trophy do anyway? Only the best cart out there needs it when it wins."

"And that's why I'm gonna destroy this, and then it'll be a tie and nopony would feel like a winner!"

"Slow day for villainy, isn't it Stitchy? Doesn't really make that much sense. And that's coming from ME!"

"No, it's a totally foolproof well thought out evil plan! I'm very complex...you know you really can suck the fun out of our encounters."

He claps his plush hooves together, somehow echoing throughout the building. Soon, a burly wooden griffon soars through the room and lands near Stitchy. Another one of Punk's inventions. A fearsome splintery creature named...Gary.

"Gary, old chap, can you be a lamb and take care of our little pest problem. That'd be great."

"HRM!"

Gary jumps from the shelf and lands on his sharp paws/talons, his face full of hatred and vengeance.

"Have fun you too!"

He skips away, trophy in hoof, leaving PP at the mercy of the monstrous toy.

"Heeey, Gary! How are things?"

"HRM!"

"Still not getting paid well enough, even though it's questionable WHERE the bits come from?"

*sigh* "Urm, urm."

"Still mad I party cannoned your tail off?"

*CLANK*
He flings a spiky metal tail in front of him.

"Oh. I see you've upgraded. Heh."

Gary charges at her with murderous intent, bearing his sharp talons. As swift as deflating balloons, PP dodges the enraged monster.

"I think he deserves a GIFT for all he's done. Wink, wink."

"Now's not the time for...Ooooh!"

The sugar-fueled super reaches into one of her pockets and brings out a cake with Celestia knows how many candles on it.

"CONGRATULATIONS GARY! YOU GET A CAKE FOR DOING A GREAT MINIONING JOB!!!"

The action catches Gary off guard, whose eyes widen at the sight of the tempting treat. He approaches the dessert, drooling an insane amount of tree sap.

*shudders* "That is SO unsettling."

Gary attempts to blow out the candles, the flames continue to burn bright. He tries again. No go.

"Almost forgot, wooden TOY. No lungs!"

"Oops! Let me get that for ya."

With a deep inhale, Pinkie blows the flames out-

*FWOOM*
And right onto gullible griffon's wings!

Now's her chance. PP wall jumps to the highest shelf. Gary tries to catch up, but his wings burn out mid-flight and lands helplessly on his back.

"That seemed a little too easy. Didn't even use the tail..."
"Yeah, yeah. Enough foreshadowing. Let's burst his bubble!"

Pinkie zooms through a trophy filled hallway towards the sunroof. As she pops out into the blinding sunlight, atop the stadium, PP spots her target doing the tango with the prize.

"Heeey, not on the first date, Stitchy!"

Stitchy notices her.

*sigh* "Biscuits! This is why you don't choose griffons over DRAGONS!"

Stitchy swallows the trophy whole, leaving a bulge in his torso.

"So.....it's come to this?"

"I guess it has."

She pulls out a tall balloon in the form of a sword and aims it at her fluffy foe.

"Oh. This is my favorite bit: the sword fight! I see how it is. But let's make this interesting..."

He reaches down his throat and pulls out a little cannon filled to the brim with fireworks.

"Oooh, cupcakes..."

"Come, Pooly. Come dance with me!"

"How much do you have down there?"

"The less you know, the better. I guess I really AM a 'stuffed' animal!" he quips.

Pinkie shakes her head and gives him a disapproving look.

*groan* "You call yourself the 'funniest mare in Manehattan', and you can't appreciate a good pun?"

"We would if it WAS a good pun!"

"You know, this just doesn't feel organic anymore. Look I'm just gonna blast you now." he groans, firing a cracker, and narrowly missing the hero. Pinkie turns heel and runs the opposite direction.

"Ooh, I LOVE this part! Hide n' Seek it is, then."

Pinkie ducks past the unsuspecting crowd, towards the spectator's tower. As she climbs the tall exterior, a stray cracker grazes her hind legs throwing her off-balance.

"You can't escape me, Pooly! It's about time you're 'IT'!"

He fires another, only this time, Pinkie was ready. She holds out her "sword" and deflects the incoming projectile. It flies in the center of the stadium and goes off. "Oohs" and "aahs" can be heard around. Pinkie catches herself and uses her outstretched arms to fling herself through the tower door.

"Laws of physics be darned!"

Thank baked goodness no security was around. Probably searching for the trophy. Cornered, Pinkie pulls out her balloon swor-

*POP*
*PFFFT*

...well so much for that!

"Whatarewegonnadothere'sacrazydollwithfireworkstryingtoblastusand-"

*SMACK*

"Get a hold of yourself, mare! We'll get through this! And I have a plan:

HIDE!"

"You're a voice! How were you able to-"

"HIIIDE!!!"

"Way ahead of you!"

A few seconds go by when the sound of the door creaks open.

"Come on out, Pinkie. Game's not over yet!"

Stitchy enters the room and spots a fluffy pink tail hanging in the bin. He approaches it with a malicious smile.

"Let's see today's chore list...ok...take out the trash. Got it!"

He aims the cannon in the bin to find...leftover cotton candy.

"Heh. Well played, Pinkie! The ol' fake out."

"One of my favorites." her voice echoes.

*sigh* "It pains me to do this, Pooly."

"Nopony's forcing you, Stitchy!"

"You're the only one that gets me. And I know you feel the same way about me."

"Not TRUE!"

Pinkie pops out and grabs the cannon. The two rivals soon engage in a round of tug-of-war.

"I know you, Pinkie! We are the same! You are the sun and I am the moon."

"Those aren't the same."

"T-they're both round things! I- you know what I mean!"

As they struggle to get their hooves on the weapon, they begin spinning around. Faster and faster and faster and....faster.....and faster...

*THUD*

"Look what you did! You made the narrator pass out!"

"Only if you'd let go!"

"No, you let go!"

"No you!"

"NO, YOU!"

"No yo-" he stops.

"Nope! We're not doing this!"

"Doing what?"

"You know, that routine where you trick somepony into doing what you want."

"...yes we are."

"No we're aren't!"

"Yes we are."

"NO WE AREN'T! NOW TAKE THE CANNON BECAUSE I'M LETTING GO AND THAT'S FINAL!!!"

"Okie Dokie Lokie!"

Stitchy feels proud of himself. Until it hit him...

*POW*
*CRACKLE*

...literally.

"FUDGE BUCKETS!!!"

The firework collides with Stitchy, who belches the trophy out, launching him out of the back window and into the nearby city's park. The rocket explodes, sending his burnt form plummeting into the park's lake. Within a few seconds, Stitchy floats to surface.

"Pinkie-Pool, I shall retu-*gurgle* Ew. This water is DISGUSTING! Oh no it's got in my mouth it'sgotinmymouth! Gary! Gar-*gurgle*"

Gary, meanwhile, is busy flirting with an inanimate statue to care.

"Game...set...match."

YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!

"Darn I wish we had some shades!"

After putting the trophy back where it belongs, our hyped up heroine returns to her seat where an ecstatic Babs is still on the edge of her seat.

"Oh, Wading you missed it! GrazeDigger just flipped over some chump! It was awesome and-"

Pinkie continues listening to the excited filly until something catches her eye: a...a steering wheel? And it's...hurling towards BABS! Pinkie brings out a comically large party horn, leaps out of her seat and blows it. The horn unravels and wraps the wheel in it's grasp and rolls back up to her. Pinkie lands on her seat and presents the hunk of debris to the awestrucken child.

"That...was...AWESOME!!! You were all *whistle* and the wheel was all 'dun dun dun dun dun' and-"

"Note to self: Apologize to everypony for yapping off like this filly here."
"Consider the note, noted."

Author's Note

No piñatas were harmed during the making of this story.