Once a Crook, Always a Crook

Canterlot

After two trips, one on the PegaTrain, and one on the Friendship Express, Talzotl finally arrived in Canterlot. There were plenty of shops that sold extravagant clothes, food and other things that many rich ponies here bought. Talzotl had been to Canterlot a couple of times before, and though he hadn’t been there in years, not much was different. He heard that the last two Grand Galloping Galas had some sort of chaotic twist to them. Last year, a draconequus named Discord arrived with a creature called The Smooze. The year before that, Fluttershy, who was normally a timid pegasus, went crazy and chased a bunch of animals into the dance hall. Needless to say, each Gala had ended in disaster, but Princess Celestia was said to have enjoyed them. This caused Talzotl to question her sanity sometimes.

Since it was late in the evening, Talzotl determined that it would be inappropriate to meet with the Princess at this time, so he decided to stop at a restaurant. Going inside, he was escorted to a booth near the window that faced the main street.

A unicorn waitress with green fur, a red mane that was tied back into a bun, and pink eyes, poured Talzotl a glass of water to drink with a little bit of ice, quite different to a cheep late night diner Talzotl once went to where the waitress there gave him water with too much ice. After a few minutes of looking at the menu he was given, he told the waitress what he wanted: a large order of fish and chips and a glass of root beer to drink. The waitress went to the kitchen after writing down his order on a notepad.

Since the food would take a while to arrive, Talzotl reflected on what he had done over the years to regain his wealth. He once sold a priceless artifact to a hardened criminal, and had made a killing in crafting fake IDs at his high school. Although the faculty there thoroughly investigated the ID forgeries, they could not connect them to Talzotl. The principal correctly suspected it was him, but by getting rid of evidence, Talzotl had managed to trot free from the accusations. He also started writing stories for foals under the pseudonym Robert Moonch, and those sold modestly. Eventually, he somehow came upon a secret ad, offering thirty million bits for the proof that the Element Bearers had been captured. Talzotl assumed he had received the ad due to his short-lived fake ID business.

Talzotl’s line of thought was broken when the waitress returned with his fish, chips and root beer. When he took a bite out of the fried fish, his mouth immediately burned. He silently screamed, trying desperately not to curse, and somehow succeeding. He quickly took gulps of the icey root beer to cool his mouth down, but not before noticing that the ponies in the restaurant were snickering at his misfortune. He gave the fish time to cool and proceeded to eat the horseshoe fries, which the ponies of Canterlot for some reason called ‘chips’. Judging the fish to be cool enough, he slowly bit into one and found them quite warm, which is exactly how he liked them. He was fighting every urge to drool at the utter deliciousness of the fish.

As soon as he was done with his dinner, he paid the bill and went to a hotel room that he managed to book just as the hotel was filling up. Once he entered, he practically threw himself onto the bed and immediately went to sleep.

***

Ponyville Station

Twilight Sparkle and her four other friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, put on their snow gear as they prepared to meet Fluttershy at Ponyville Station and board the train to Yakyakistan, or so they thought. They had received a letter via Spike from Princess Celestia requesting an audience. Not wanting to disappoint her former teacher, not that she ever could, she quickly packed her bags and told her friends to do the same. On their way, they noticed a volcano that had tracks leading into it materialize out of thin air, and a few seconds later, it disappeared. Twilight shook her head knowing that this was Discord’s clever, yet futile attempt at getting his friend Fluttershy to stick around.

Once they said their goodbyes, the train took off on its way to Canterlot. However, Celestia had instructed them to tell their families and friends that they were going to Yakyakistan, as what they were doing was to be kept a secret for the time being. Not willing to lie to her family, Applejack simply stated that she was heading somewhere out of town for a while.

“I wonder what Celestia has planned for us?” Twilight said.
“Maybe she wants us to spy on some changelings,” Rainbow Dash said excitedly.
“Whoa there, partner!” Applejack admonished, “It’s probably not that exciting. Maybe she just wants us to solve a friendship problem among some rich ponies.”
“If it was a friendship problem, then the map would’ve told us,” Rainbow retorted.
“Maybe it’s a problem that the map can’t sense,” Fluttershy suggested in her soft voice.
“It’s most likely that a new threat has risen and only we can stop it.”

Eventually, all six ponies got bored of talking and just watched the train go by many green fields and small towns until it entered the tunnel that went up the mountain. About half an hour later, they finally arrived in Canterlot.

As they trotted towards the Royal Castle, on the city’s main street, Twilight thought she had seen a pony with blue fur and a long blonde mane sitting inside a restaurant, but before she could take a closer look, a burly stallion pulling a carriage got in the way.

“Twilight,” Rainbow yelled impatiently, “I thought we were meeting the Princess, not going window shopping.”
“We don’t need to meet her now. But you’re right.” Twilight admitted. They entered the room in the castle that was loaned to them by Celestia, and once Luna’s night set in, they turned in for the night in their beds.

***

Talzotl woke up suddenly, and almost forgot that he wasn’t home. It was lucky that he woke up, because he heard a knock on the door. He opened it to find a male unicorn concierge, with a brownish black mane, pushing a cart full of food.
“Hello sir,” he said in a posh Canterlot accent with a cheerful attitude. When Talzotl booked the hotel, he was promised free continental breakfast. “I have your continental breakfast.” The cart was full of blueberry, raspberry, and strawberry muffins and scones. Talzotl was allergic to strawberries so he chose the blueberry and raspberry pastries.

“Thanks,” Talzotl told the concierge as he gave him a five bits tip.
“Have a lovely day,” the concierge replied rather awkwardly with a quite toothy grin that oddly would’ve fit an evil looking clown or something, and pushed the cart to the next room that was occupied. After he finished his breakfast, he took a long shower, washing his body twice, and his mane and tail three times. He quickly ironed his three piece suit and put it on. Once that was done, he trotted straight to the castle.

When he approached the bridge that went over the moat, he was stopped by a Royal Guard.
“Name and business,” he firmly demanded.
“Talzotl Ricktaki. Princess Celestia has summoned me.” Talzotl was a bit worried that the guard might not believe him. However, the guard simply ordered him to wait while he went inside to verify his claim.
After two minutes, the guard told him to follow him to the throne room. He saw many rooms and tried to peek through the doorways, but the guard glared at him to stop. The guard eventually stopped trotting which meant that they had arrived. He opened a door and heard a mare’s voice.
“Let him in. You are dismissed.”

Talzotl entered the throne room. The path to the Princess’s throne was marked with a red carpet. A tall, alabaster alicorn with a forever flowing, and ethereal, rainbow mane was sitting upon the throne.
“Talzotl Ricktaki,” she said kindly.
“Princess,” he simply responded with a bow. Sure, he may have committed some crimes, but he had utmost respect for the Princess.
“It’s been a long time since I saw you.”

One day, when Talzotl was around seven, his father had used his wealth to get Celestia to come over for dinner. His mother, Kimono, had been adamant that he had nothing but manners when the ruler of Equestria was with them. However, to everypony’s surprise, Celestia had the manners of the average pony.
When she left the mansion, the Ricktaki family witnessed Celestia lowering the Sun and raising the Moon first-hoof. Talzotl had told his friends about the whole thing the next day.

“Hello? Equestria to Talzotl.”
Talzotl swiftly shook himself back to reality. “Sorry,” said an embarrassed Talzotl. “I was just remembering the time you visited us.”
Celestia smiled. “You know you don’t have to stand all the way over there. Come closer.”
Talzotl nervously trotted towards the Princess until he was right in front of the golden throne.

“W-what is it that you r-request of me?” Talzotl nervously asked. In response, Celestia flashed her horn and conjured a holographic image of Equestria with little red and blue dots.
“The Vanhoover Mafia is up to no good,” Celestia began. “They have sold illegal drugs and stolen gems. Their influence is so great that they’ve spread to Neighpone and possibly even Canterlot.” The red dots multiplied and moved from Vanhoover to Neighpone and Canterlot. “If they are allowed to continue, many innocent ponies will suffer in the long run.” The blue dots moved to all four corners of the map while the red dots kept multiplying and they started to corner the blue dots.

“If you’re so worried about what the Mafia is doing, why don’t you just stop them? You’re THE ruler, right?” Talzotl suddenly stated with a cocky, know-it-all attitude.
“Because if I swooped in just like that, I might get the wrong pony. That’s why I summoned you here. I know you’ve had dealings with them.”

Talzotl was flabbergasted at how Celestia knew what he had been up to, but he was not about to just admit it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, your highness. I don’t have any ties with the mafia!”
Celestia frowned and, raising an eyebrow, she firmly asked, “So you didn’t foalnap my student and her friends?”
Talzotl didn’t let her see how shocked he was. Since she had no proof, he was going to continue denying everything. However, before he could do that, Celestia conjured a scroll with her yellow-hued horn and began to read it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Just letting you know that me and my friends

were foalnapped by this crazy stallion named Talzotl Ricktaki

in Vanhoover. He kept us in his mansion

underground and forced us to solve

puzzles in order to escape. He was

promised thirty million bits if he captured us

successfully. He let us out as soon as he got the money.

Signed, Twilight Sparkle

Talzotl’s face went pale as he cursed internally. Nevertheless, he managed to regain his composure. “So what are you going to do?” Talzotl asked like a smart aleck, “Arrest me?”
“That’s what Luna suggested when I showed her the letter. She also considered the death penalty, which I fortunately abolished many years ago. To this day, she still argues with me over it. But regardless, I believe that, with your knowledge of the Mafia, we can shut their criminal business down once and for all.”
“You got the wrong idea, Princess. I don’t know as much about them as you think I do.”
“Then perhaps you’ll learn more about them during your quest. You are one of the smartest creatures here, after all.”

Talzotl took a moment to process all of this. Twilight told Celestia everything, except the part where she accepted his bribe. He could potentially use this fact against her in the long run. He finally spoke again.
“There’s no way I can do this alone. You have to send someone with me.”
“You’re right,” Celestia coldly agreed. She conjured a letter and began writing hastily. A few seconds later, she poofed it away..
Talzotl didn’t get to see who the letter was for. “Who did you get for help?”
With a smirk, she said, “You’ll see.”

The door opened behind a suspicious Talzotl and he saw, without any surprise, a lavender alicorn with a mane of two shades of purple, an orange earth pony with a blonde mane and a brown stetson, a bouncing pink earth pony with a darker pink poofy mane, an alabaster unicorn with a violet curled-up mane, a cream-coloured pegasus with a light pink mane, and a light blue pegasus with a polychromatic mane.

Upon seeing Talzotl, all six of them gasped with both Rarity and Fluttershy almost fainting and Applejack and Rainbow having to break their fall. Twilight trotted forward until she was within hooves length of Talzotl, glaring at him. However, Talzotl simply smirked at Twilight.
“Twilight Sparkle. I had a feeling we would meet again at some point.”
“How does it feel knowing you took money from one of the worst criminal organizations in all of Equestria?” Twilight asked resentfully.
“It feels great actually. But you’d know all about that, now wouldn’t you?.” retorted Talzotl with a smirk, seeing a flicker a guilt on Twilight’s face.

“I suggest you both stop acting like little foals. There are more important things going on,” admonished Princess Luna, who had just entered the throne room.
Twilight was about to apologize to the Princesses when Talzotl beat her to it, much to her frustration.

“As I explained to Talzotl, the Vanhoover Mafia is at large and you all need to stop them.” Celestia stated.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” said an enthusiastic Rainbow Dash, “Let’s kick some Mafia flank!”
Talzotl turned around to stare at Rainbow Dash. “I’m afraid it’s not going to be that simple. Taking down a criminal organization is not the same as beating up Changelings or performing a Sonic Rainboom.”
Rainbow had nothing further to say. She did not remember ever facing a mafia. She thought the Shadowbolts counted, but then she remembered they were not real, just illusions crafted by Nightmare Moon.

“Now,” Celestia said with a serious tone, “I want all six of you to shake hooves with Talzotl and promise that you will settle your differences with him for now.” All seven ponies obeyed Celestia and were subsequently dismissed.
However, as the Guardians of Harmony were leaving, the Princesses pulled Twilight aside and Celestia whispered, “If Talzotl tries anything, send word to us immediately.” Twilight simply nodded.

***

Royal Castle Cafeteria

The Guardians and Talzotl met in the cafeteria where the Royal Guards usually ate during their breaks. It was unusual for anypony other than guards and the Princesses to be in here, but Celestia told them it was alright.
Applejack had grouped two tables together to accommodate the seven ponies, so that’s where they were sitting.
“Since you all need me for Mafia-related help, I’ll tell you that we’re not taking the train back to Vanhoover.”
“And why is that?” demanded Rainbow Dash.
“Because if they see you six snooping around, the whole mission will be compromised.” Talzotl responded.
“The Mafia isn’t some secret clubhouse full of ponies who think they’re cool because they know how to use Dark Magic; these are some of the most dangerous ponies ever, the worst of them being the Stalliongrad Bratva.”
“What have you got in mind then, Ricktaki?” Twilight briskly asked, hoping that Talzotl wouldn’t have the answer.
“We’ll have to get back to Vanhoover the hard way.”