(Edited by SoloBrony) I love her
Twilight Sparkle had so many friends - many very dear to her heart.
She had a caring family.
She was even a princess!
Family, friends and a comfortable home, that would be the perfect life for many creatures in Equus.
Problem was, Twilight wasn’t happy - at least not lately. She was confused, and in pain.
Twilight closed the book she was reading. It was late at night, and only a small lamp was illuminating the book she’d been reading. She yawned. Her eyes were half closed, and she seemed tired, she glanced at the closed book, and sighed, she closed her eyes and threw it away.
Even reading a book couldn’t help her clear her mind.
“Twilight? Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
Twilight turned over to look at where the voice was coming from; it was Spike, who was rubbing his eyes and trying to keep them open.
“I’m the one who should ask that. You should be sleeping right now.”
Spike only yawned.
“I was, but then I was thirsty. I wanted a glass of water; but it’s kinda hard to find your way in the castle, during the night,” He responded before looking around. “What are you doing? It’s three A.M.!” Spike asked walking towards her, then without paying attention he kicked in something. He looked around and opened his eyes. He noticed several books on the ground; some weren’t even properly closed.
“I’ll go to bed soon, Spike. Don’t worry.”
“Twilight, are you alright? Did Princess Celestia ask you to help her with something?” Spike asked her, worried; he knew very well how Twilight could behave in those cases.
“No, I… I’m fine, really, I was just thinking, if something is wrong, I’ll be sure to tell you, and to our friends.”
Spike looked at her, not completely seeing her face; that small lamp beside the young alicorn wasn’t really helping.
“Well, if you say so. Don’t stay up too late, Twilight.”
Spike turned around and continued his search for water. Twilight only sighed again. There was a reason as to why she was so down. She kept thinking about it for weeks now. It was about a certain pegasus; one of her best friends. Rainbow Dash. The two of them were growing closer; one day, a new feeling came out of nowhere. They were just flying together during sunset, and Twilight kept staring at her rainbow maned friend without any specific reason; that’s when she felt that weird tickling in her stomach.
At first, she thought nothing of it; but now she felt pain, for some strange reason the pain stopped when she was near Rainbow; but every time she was away, it hurt so much. She was sure that she was sick, and… no. She knew that she was only lying to herself, that it was something else.
For days; she’d been trying to get Rainbow out of her head, but that was impossible. Even reading a book couldn’t help her clear her mind; though, it always did before.
Twilight shook her head, she stood up and went to the castle’s entrance. She knew it was late, but she really needed some fresh air. She got out and looked at the night sky. She was lucky that the weather team had done a wonderful job at keeping the sky clear. She could at least enjoy the beautiful view.
When she thought about these feelings towards Rainbow Dash; she remembered something Cadance said many years ago, when she was still her foalsitter.
“Cadance?” Twilight said as she glanced at her foalsitter, who was drinking coffee beside her.
“Yes, Twilight?”
“Well, I wanted to ask you something. Since you’re the princess of love; I thought you’d be the best to answer me.” Twilight said hesitantly.
“Go on.” Cadance was surprised; was Twilight going to ask her something about love? Even though, the little filly didn’t seem interested in talking with other foals of her age?
“I was reading a book, as usual, but then; I saw a stallion saying to a mare that he loves her, and she looked so happy! I was wondering what is love; to make somepony so happy. She looked like she read a book on biology or even astrophysics!”
Cadance chuckled. Twilight had a strange definition of happiness, but it only made her more adorable. She smiled and put a hoof to her chin.
“Well… firstly, I think that not everypony has the same definition of love; but I’ll tell you what I think, okay?” Cadance said as Twilight nodded, listening closely to what her foalsitter will say. “When you love somepony, and I mean, truly love a pony; you feel the need to be close to them, your heart speed up every time you’re near them, you look at them and say to yourself that they’re the most important thing in your life. When you feel that their happiness is more important than yours. And even if everything is going bad in your life, they’re going to stay beside you. When they are away, and that is in the case you didn’t confess your feelings for them, you fear, that they’ll come back with somepony else, and it hurts, because you know it’ll be too late. If you want to be with somepony, so much, that you’re ready to take any challenge in front of you, to get to them, because they really make you happier than anything else. When you have all these signs, then that means that you’re in love. That is my vision of “Love”, this is what I think.” Cadance finished as she looked at the filly who had now widened eyes.
“Wow, by hearing you talk about it, it looks like love is fabulous,” Twilight said smiling, but looked down afterwards. “But, what if… somepony gets rejected after confessing his love?”
Cadance didn’t respond right away as she thought about this. She never got rejected before, so she didn’t know how it felt; but she’ll try to answer anyway.
“I think that this pony will be heartbroken. Getting rejected by somepony you love, knowing that they don’t share; with you, what you felt. It must be a horrible experience. There are ponies that don’t have anything, and the pony they love is their only light. Losing it must be so painful.” Cadance said, looking down, she was the princess of love, but even she couldn’t do something for these poor souls, because she couldn’t always reach them.
“Then forget about what I said earlier, it doesn’t look good at all. Heartbroken? Then, when somepony rejects you, you die?” Twilight exclaimed worriedly. Cadance chuckled.
“Heartbroken in a metaphorical way, Twilight.”
Twilight looked at her, blushing and embarrassed.
“I… I knew it, of course! A… Anyway, I don’t want to get involved in love, it looks too painful and too silly. I come to think that my studies are way more important; they make me happy all the time!”
Twilight chuckled at her own memory; she knew so little about life. She thought that only her studies mattered, but now she had wonderful friends, and… Rainbow Dash; remembering this discussion with Cadance made her realize something, no, accept something she herself refused to believe, was it by uninterest? Fear?
“I… I love Rainbow.” She muttered, it didn’t look like it; but it was actually hard to say. Rainbow was one of her friends, and thinking about her like that was weird, admitting her love was… scary.
Now, things will be so complicated; she’ll behave so awkwardly in front of her friends, as long as Rainbow will be there too, she’ll be so embarrassed. She put a hoof on her forehead, it would be easier if she just said to Rainbow what she feels; she’ll get rejected, move on, and everything will be perfect again, but…
“You didn’t tell me what to do; when we are nothing more than a coward, Cadance,” Twilight closed her eyes, feeling some tears falling down her cheeks. “I already know that I won’t tell her anything, because I’m too scared, because I always overstress, overreact, and most of all, because I already know how it will end. We won’t be able to talk as we did before; she’ll always look away from me… And even if nothing changes, that we stay friends after she rejected me. I know I’ll do something I’ll regret.”
She laid on the ground, she didn’t even care if it was cold, now all that mattered was what will she do.
“If only I was as brave as them…” Twilight, curiously, smiled; although, there was no happiness in this smile of her. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice. I’ll just hide these feelings, and stay with Rainbow as a friend, waiting for my love to disappear.”
One day you're going to wake up and realize that you should have tried.
-Unknown
(If you could tell me where this quote come from, it would be great)
Author's Note
First time doing a story about the thoughts of someone like Twilight, about love, I hope you enjoyed it.
