I'm in Love with the Mailmare

by brycewhalen

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 36953

Golden Scale wants to start a new, simple life in Ponyville, but falling in love with the mail woman makes it rather difficult. Humanized Equestria.

As an ex-member of the Royal Guard, I never thought I would have moved back to the quaint, little town of Ponyville. With my sudden increase in finances, I am able to buy a new house and live a simple life, away from all the violence of being in the Royal Guard and the bad memories that surrounded Canterlot. I expected the rest of my days of early retirement to be calm and peaceful, but then I met her. Hi, I'm Golden Scale and this is how I fell in love with the mailwoman.

(First Person, takes place in a humanized Equestria.)
_______________________

This is my first fiction ever. In fact, it's the first time I ever decided to write a story. I don't think I'm very good at it but that's for all of you to decide. Please inform me of any errors you come across while reading. Also, critique the hell out of it. The story takes some time to get to the actual romance, so please be patient.

Apparently, I can't tag this as both "Sad" and "Comedy" because they're conflicting categories. But yeah, there is some sad.

The cover image belongs to this person: http://hoffner.deviantart.com/

Published 2012-07-30 15:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-06 22:52:45 UTC

Prologue

I strolled the streets of Ponyville, looking for a place to stay. As a retired member of the Royal Guard, it wasn’t really a problem of how much it would cost rather than where I wanted to live. A bead of sweat travels down my brow, as I have been walking for about an hour and no luck on the house hunting.

Canterlot, being full of rich, well-mannered individuals, wasn’t really my idea of a great place to live. The castle may be located in Canterlot but living in the barracks, with being mostly surrounded guys around doing guy activities, I didn’t really learn much about etiquette. But we never really grow up do we? We only learn how to act in public. Since Ponyville was where I grew up before my family moved to Canterlot for my training in becoming a Guard, I thought it would be a great place to settle down. If I remember correctly, nothing out of the ordinary really happened here. You just lived life, day by day, doing the usual nine-to-five. I wasn’t looking for any excitement. I got enough of that being a Royal Guard.

I have been walking for what seemed like hours and the sun isn‘t helping either. My legs felt sore and all I really wanted to do at this point was sit on a bench and take a nap. I stopped for a minute and took off my vest when I noticed my reflection in one of the windows. I decided to take this time and give myself a look over. My blond hair stuck to my forehead in clumps from the sweat. The pits of my cyan shirt were almost soaked. Perhaps I should take a break. I took seat on one of the near by benches, unhooked my sword from my belt and just sat there. Oh yeah. My sword. Forgot I had that for a second. After serving my time as a Royal Guard, the Captain let me keep my sword, almost like a going away gift. It’s leather sheath bared the word “Equality”. I named it Equality because that is what I stood for. No one is better than anyone else. I smile remembering the job I with Equality did allowing me to retire at the ripe and early age of 25.

I looked up at the busy sky as the ones of us with wings went along with their business. I remember a spell that gave me temporary wings that are of a rather combustible material. When I used it, I got carried away and flew to close to the sun. The end result was me almost plummeting to my death. If it weren’t for one of the other winged Guards catching me, I wouldn’t be here today. Ever since then, I had a fear of heights. I give out a sigh recalling the events that took place that day.

Enough about the past. I need to worry about my problems now, like how I’m going to find a house. I walked past house after house, store after store, not finding a single “Rent” or “For Sale” sign. I sigh as my search begins to seem hopeless. But then I thought of something that made me give myself a face palm. If a house was for sale, wouldn’t the town hall keep track of it? I then proceeded to walk to the center of town where the town hall was located, feeling stupid for not having thought of it sooner.

As I got up and continued down the streets I heard a monstrous roar come from my stomach. The sound actually grabbed a few passer-bys’ attention. I stepped on pretending I didn’t hear a thing. As it growled a second time, I thought best to look for a café. Little to behold, a conveniently place called Sugar Cube Corner, was just down the street.

I don’t remember much about Sugar Cube Corner, only that I loved there cupcakes. I entered through the doors and was immediately surrounded by the smell of baked goods. I stood there for a moment as nostalgia overwhelmed me, bring a tear to my eye. The smell of candy, chocolate, frosting, cookies, and everything in between brought back memories of the good ol’ day. Trying not draw anymore attention to myself, I walked to the register to make an order.

The young lady at the register had curly, hot pink hair, almost like it was cotton candy, wearing a colorful shirt of many different shade of pink. It seemed fitting, however, considering her job. Even with the hair, she was still as cute as a button. As I approached the counter, she took one look at me and all of a sudden, my ears drums were about to burst. “Ooh! I’ve never seen you here before! You must be new in town! I should know because I know everyone in Ponyville! I’m Pinkamena Diana Pie but everyone calls me Pinkie Pie for short! What’s your name? Wait! I wanna guess!”

The mouth on this one, I thought to myself. “Excuse me,” I tried to intervene.

“Is it Blondie Smalls?”

“No, my nam-”

“Cardinal Gap?”

“It’s-”

“Hairy Willow?”

“I’m not hair-”

“Treasure Island?”

“Miss!!” I finally snapped. My outburst got the attention of most of the customers in the café but at least she got quite. “Ahem,” I said, trying to regain my composure. “My name is Golden Scale, but everyone calls me Scales.” I stuck out my hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Pie.”

She grabbed my hand and shook vigorously. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Scales. And you can call me Pinkie,” she said with a smile. A good ten seconds passed before she let go of my hand. “Would you like t be friends?” she asked out of nowhere.

I was caught a little off guard by the sudden question. “Sure.” I said. The smile on her face grew wider as I said the word.

“Yay!” she cheered still rather loudly. “Oh! You probably came to get something to eat. Is there anything you would like?”

This is it. The moment of fate has arrived. My first day back in Ponyville after many years and I must now pick my first meal since arriving. Picking the wrong choice could end in my nostalgic memories of eating the most delicious pastries at this establishment being crushed. What to do, what to do? “I’ll have…” Dramatic pause for effect. “One of everything.”

I saw Pinkie’s eye almost pop out of her head. “Really!? One of everything!?” She seemed like she was about to burst with joy. “Oh you are going to love everything. The cupakes are so moist, and the brownies are really really chocolaty, and-”

“What is the total?” I said before she continued talking. I do not want to hear her ramble on about how good everything is while my stomach growls.

“Oh! That will be 75 bits.”

I reach into my pockets pulling out one shiny gold coin and placing in her hand. “This should cover it.” I exclaimed. She put the coin into the register and started pulling out my change. “I don’t need change.”

“I can’t take this from you.”

“Don’t you accept tips?”

“Well yes but-”

“Then think of it as one really big tip.”

The look in her eyes showed me she was, surprisingly, speechless. “Thank you!” she said wrapping her arms around me in one of the tightest hug I have ever experienced. The warm feeling inside was more than enough thanks.

I sat down at one of the vacant tables as plate after plate of the most appetizing food was brought out to me. The chefs seemed more than happy to provide me with everything. My stomach growled once more as I took a fork in one hand, took a piece of chocolate cake, and put it into my mouth. My eyes began to tear up as the sensation of the fluffy goodness entered my mouth. The texture, the taste, everything about this one slice of cake, was enough to worlds grumpiest man throw a parade celebrating how much the world rocks. “So how do you like it?” Pinkie asked. I just sat there giving moans of pleasure, which she took as a compliment.

About an hour passed when I finished all of my sweets. My belly was in the shape of the moon when I was done. I thanked Pinkie and the chefs for the lovely meal as I headed out.

I was so distracted by my hunger, I almost forgot what I was doing. I once again started walking towards the center of town. With my stomach filled to the brim and nothing else to distract my focus, I was ready to get myself a house and begin my new life in Ponyville. Until someone tackled me to the ground.

Once I got over the pain in my rump, I looked to see who the culprit was, ready to chew him or her out but, once I saw her, the only thing I could do was stare.

Chapter 1

This is not going to be the entertaining chapter... in my opinion but it's up for you to decide.

There I was, sitting on the ground, staring at the beautiful woman who bumped into me. All I could do was stare. Her grey wings seemed to glisten in the sunlight. Her blonde hair had this sheen to it that made it shine ever so nicely. Her frame looked a little small and delicate but that made her all the more adorable. Her skin also seemed to glow. And her eyes… well she had walled eyes but it gave her have a special… I don’t know. It made her seem more eccentric. They were as yellow as her hair. All I want to do is just stare into them.

It took me a couple moments before I realized that it seemed to be raining mail. Then I noticed she was carrying a satchel. “Ow,” she grunted, rubbing her scalp. She noticed me and got a worried look on her face. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you like that. You see I’m the mail woman here and I was in a hurry to finish all the deliveries on time and I wasn’t paying attention to where I going and I guessed I bumped into you. Please don’t be mad!” Oh my Celestia! Her voice is so fucking cute! How does a voice even become that adorable!? She continued apologizing until I finally snapped back into reality.

“Don’t worry about it.” I gave her a smile as reassurance that everything was fine. She in turn gave me a smile. It wasn’t long before she realized all of the letters in her satchel fell out. She was then frantically trying to pick them all up and put them back in. I, being the gentleman I am, proceeded to help pick up the letters. I used my magic, being that I’m one of the ones with magic, to pick almost all of them up and then handed them to her.

“Thank you!” she said. I was too distracted by the warm feeling inside to notice that she got up and started running away and flapping her wings.

“Wait!” I called out but, it was too late. She was already flying off to finish her deliveries. I just sat there for moment. My first day back to Ponyville and I made a new friend and found the woman of my dreams but, I don’t even know her name. "Dammit.” I said under my breath.

Who is she? She just seemed so perfect. Actually, she seemed to be full of impurities, but those impurities make her so desirable. I feel that she's the one for me. I’m probably jumping to conclusions but still. Will I ever meet her again? Ponyville isn’t that big so I hope so. Come on Scales, focus! I decided to try to put her in the back of my mind. I can be love struck when I have a house.

Instead of moping around, I lifted myself off the ground and began heading towards the enter of town again. The trip to the town hall was uneventful. I saw a snail… that was it. As I enter the large building at the center of town, I couldn’t help but notice it was in shambles. I was actually afraid that the ceiling could fall in on itself at any moment. The woman at the desk, who I assume was the mayor, being that she was the only other person in the building, was working on paper work, not noticing me come in.. She seemed to be a woman in her 50s but her hair was grey. Must be a stressful job, being mayor. “Excuse me,” I called out. She looks up startled.

“Oh, hello." How can I help you?” She said with a forced smile.

“Um, yeah, I was planning on moving here in Ponyville and I was wondering if their were any house available?”

“Hold on just one moment.” She got up from her desk, walked over to a filing cabinet and started shifting through files. “Aha!” She exclaimed, pulling out a manila folder. “So what kind of house are you looking for?”

“Depends. What do you got?”

She scan through the paper in the folder. “How about this one?” she say, pulling out a piece of paper with a picture of a mansion on it. I shake my head.

“I’m just one person, don’t you think a mansion would be a little big for me?” She gives me a frown, obviously sad that her scam didn’t work. “Got any apartments or small houses?”

She looks through the papers again. “Maybe this house will suit your fancy.” She hand me the paper with a picture of simpler house. This house seems more like it. It’s a medium sized house with two and a half baths, three bedrooms and a fully equipped kitchen. Still a little big for me but, I always wanted to learn how to bake. I look up from the paper to see the mayor staring at me with a sparkle in her eye. I then looked at the price. 750 bits. That… is more than I hoped for. What’s up with me and 75 today?

“Think we can make this a little cheaper?” I asked.

“I’ll only go as low as 725.” She said, determined to get as much from this as she can from me.

“How about 700?”

“725.”

“710?”

“725.”

“720?”

“725.”

“724?”

“725.”

“Fine.” I gave in. I’m tired, sweaty, and really want to find that girl. The last thing I’m in the mood to do is argue with a greedy mayor. I reach into my pocket and pulled out eight gold bits. “I want all my change back please.” I gave the mayor, who was waiting anxiously for me to drop the coins in her hand, her money and she happily strutted to desk where she collected my change and the deed and keys to my new house.

“Here you go! Have a pleasant day sir,” She said, handing me my bits, deed, and key, this time with a less forced smile.

“Wait. That’s it?” I asked curiously. “Don’t I have to sign some paper work or something?”

“Nope.”

“Ya sure?”

“Listen,” she started with a serious face. “You and I both know I don’t really want to be working right now. So let’s keep this simple, skip the paper work and have you on your way.” I knew she didn’t want to be here.

And with that I left for my new humble abode. Right before I exited the door I turned around and asked “Umm, which way to the house?”

She sighed. “Head to your left. Just keep walking until you reach the edge of town. You should find it no problem.”

“Thanks.” I shouted to her as I left the town hall ready to start my new life in Ponyville!

Fucking house. Being so damn hard to find. I walked all the way to the edge of town and didn’t find my house. I asked around and found out that the street I was looking for was on the complete opposite side of town. I thought when she said to head to my left, I thought she meant my left, not hers. So then I had to walk all the way to the other side of town. By the time I found my house, the sun was beginning to set. It was already evening. Great. Well at least the house was located on top of a hill. Explains why it was so damn expensive. That was almost half of my reward money. And I still need to buy furniture. What the hell was I thinking? “Oh, this is so much money. I could easily retire now, right?” AAHHH!!! Wrong! Once I get a bed, couch and other luxuries, I should only be left with about 100 bits left. And here comes the end to an extremely early retirement from the most idiotic person in Ponyville.

Still, moving here wasn’t all bad. Made a friend., found a potential lover. It’s all good. Better make a mental to-do list for what I’m doing tomorrow.

To-do List:
1. Wake up
2. Spend day finding Her
3. Buy furniture if I decide to come around to it.
4. Go to bed.

Only one question remains…. Where the hell am I going to sleep without a bed?

Chapter 2

I woke up on the dusty, empty floor of my new home at the edge of town. The sun was strategically placed so that it would shine through my window and burn my retinas. Thanks Princess! I got up from the hard floor, cracked my back and screamed in pleasure “Oh sweet Celestia! That feels good!” I decided to take a look around my new house before I officially start my day. I think about where to start my search for Her and what furniture I will need. I can’t really think of anywhere to start looking for Her so I just decided to think about furniture. I need a couch, a bed and mattress, as well as bed sheets and a comforter, a TV, two if I can afford it, a table and chairs for the dining room, a dresser, and a washer and dryer. The kitchen has everything a kitchen needs. An oven, refrigerator, microwave, and a dishwasher, so there is no need to worry about that.

Well, time to start the day. I walked outside to find out it was still early morning. About eight o’clock or so. I walked aimlessly around Ponyville hoping to find Her or a furniture store. I had high hopes for my walk, knowing that if I stay focused, I would find Her.

I am now bored as hell. It’s been four hours since I started searching and I found one even vaguely resembling Her and with my short attention span, I began to wonder about my friends I remember from childhood. There was this one girl who I remember I played with a lot. What was her name again? I thought to myself, pondering on my childhood friend’s name. After a minute of thinking, I remembered. Cheerilee!

I remember Cheerilee and I were great friends when we were little. I remember how we constantly played in the park and went to school together. She always used to help me when I didn’t understand a question in school. She was always smarter than me. I wonder what she’s up to in life?

I asked around and found out she became a teacher at that old little school house on the hill. Oh, the memories. Well. No sense lollygagging about here. Off to the school house!

Fucking school house. Being so damn hard to find. Took about an hour for me to swallow my pride and ask for directions. Once I finally got there, however, I couldn’t help but tear up. The old school house looks almost new. The wood paneling that used to be so splintery and dull of decay has been replace with newly cut panels that almost looked freshly painted. Aww. That window I through a ball at when I was little was also replaced. That was my first broken window. Sob sob.

I give a knock at the door and here a familiar voice say “Come in.” I open the door to find out that class is still in session. The first thing about the class room I noticed is the student’s desks. They were desks. They were all neatly separated and in rows. Back in my day, we had to share small tables, that we made ourselves… and walk through seven miles of snow, uphill, both ways. Anyway, the next thing I notice is the dozens of pairs of tiny eyes looking at me. These kids could be no older than nine. I look at the woman with nicely groomed, bright pink hair, white blouse and black skirt standing at the front of the classroom in front of a chalk board. “Can I help you?” the woman asked.

“Umm, yes. I’m looking for a Miss Cheerilee.”

“That would be me.”

I couldn’t help myself from grinning ear to ear. I just walked up to her and gave her a huge bear hug, lifting her up in the air. “Oh, how I missed you Cheerilee!” I started spinning out of nostalgia and bliss. The class started laughing and whispering about who this mysterious man who walked into this classroom might be.

“Umm, excuse me,” she began, still in shock. “But who are you and please put me down.”

I sat her down and put a frown on my face. “Aw, you mean you don’t remember me?” She nodded. “It’s me! Golden Scale!” She gave me a confused look. “Oh come on. You have to remember me. We were best friends when we were little.” Still a confused look. I sighed. “You used to call me…” I dreaded remembering her horrible nickname. “Scaley Waley.” I shutter as the class begins to laugh even louder and a look of realization replaced Cheerilee’s previous face.

“Scaley Waley!” She pronounced as she gave me a hug and more laughs from the class. “It’s been so long!”

“It sure has,” I say through gritted teeth. “Let’s not call me that anymore, okay?” That nickname was the bane of my childhood.

“Why not, Scaley Waley?” I gave her a look that said “I can end you”. She nods in agreement and releases me from her hug. “So what have you been up to since you moved to Canterlot?”

“Oh you know. Became a member of the Royal Guard. Stopped a serial killer. Planted a garden. Nothing special.”

Her eyes grew wide with the mentioning of the Royal Guard and the serial killer. “You became a Royal Guard? You stopped a serial killer? You have to tell me about!”

“Don’t you have a class to attend to?” I say gesturing to all the students staring at our conversation.

Cheerilee faced the class and made an announcement. “Class, today we have a surprise speaker. He’s a member of the Royal Guard and has some stories to tell us.” The class cheers in joy as I give Cheerilee a look.

“You know if I tell these kids the story of me stopping a serial killer they may get scarred right?”

“Well don’t tell them that story then. I still want to catch up with you and this is the best way to do it.”

I sighed, knowing that there was no way of getting out of this, mainly because all the children were crowding around me, waiting with anticipation for me to tell them one of my few stories. “Okay kids! Who want to hear the story about how I hunted down a dragon?”

A bell rang signaling to the class that it was time for school to end. Sighs of disappointment swept the school house as I was about to get to the climax of my story. “Don’t worry kiddos. I’ll come back next week and finish it.“ Shouts of joy replaced sighs as the class began to pack up there stuff and greet their parents outside.

“Those were some great stories, Scales,” Cheerilee said with a smile.

“Yeah, I know. So wanna go catch up somewhere?”

Cheerilee’s smile turned into a frown. “Oh I wish I could but, I have a date. Maybe some other time though?”

“Okay. Some other time.” We gave each other another smile as we walked out the door to the school house, quickly followed by the tiny students. I felt slightly jealous watching the little kids running up to their parents, who greeted them with hugs and kisses. I know I’ll never get to experience that sort of love again.

So by the door I stood, watching the parents leave with their children, hand in hand, when I heard something. A voice. The voice of a little girl and she seemed to be… crying. My motherly nature kicked in because I'm a manly man and I started following the cries to the back of the school house, hoping that there was something I could do to help. Seriously though, who wouldn’t stop a little girl from crying, whether it’s because you feel sad for her or you want her to shut up.

I come upon the scene of the two girls, one with a diamond tiara on her head and the other with expensive looking glasses, standing over and laughing at another girl who was crying in the corner. “Hey!” I shouted. “What do you two think you’re doing?”

The two laughing girls turn around, surprised by my presence. The one with the tiara was the first to reply. “We’re not doing anything.”

The one with the glasses followed right after. “Yeah, we’re not doing anything.” Oh my gosh, are these two girls really stereotypical spoiled clique brats?

“Really? Because to me, it looks like you were harassing this girl.” My voice got louder and harsher with each word. The crying girl looks up at me, tears in her eyes.

“Why do you care? It’s not like she’s important or anything?” the one with the tiara replied. The one with glasses repeated the main point of the tiara wearing one. Oh my gosh, they are.

They could tell by the look that crept on to my face that their answer was the wrong one. What to do, what to do? I could put them on the roof until their parents get here. Or maybe do the right thing, call them brats and watch them run crying to their parents. So many choices.

Sucks that I’m bigger than that or else they would have been able to see their house from up there. The creeper smile went away as I walked pass the two bitches, I mean, brats. I walked up to the crying girl, who’s face at was almost as red as a lobster from the crying. She stares at me and I at her. Holy crap, she’s adorable. I pick her up and place her on my shoulders. I could feel her tears on my hair. I walk past the two spoiled bit- brats again, this time giving them a death stare, and returned to the front of the school.

“Well those two are mean,” I say in the most calming, gentle voice I have in an attempt to get the crying girl to open up to me. “So anyway, what’s your name?”

“My… name is… Dinky,” she gets in between sobs.

“Dinky? Well that’s a lovely name.” I smile at he idea of someone naming their child such a cute name. “Well Dinky, do you know where your mommy or daddy are right now?”

“I don’t have a daddy.” And shit just got awkward.

“So where’s your mommy?” I say trying to fix the awkward moment.

“She’s usually here by now.”

“Well why don’t we wait for her together? That sounds fun, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

Me and Dinky have been waiting outside the school house for 30 minutes. We played with a ball I found inside the school house. Cheerilee really needs to learn to lock doors. I took this time to take in the appearance of the girl. She had blonde hair and yellow eyes. She was wearing a purplish shirt and a pair of overalls. Honestly, they made her even cuter. She couldn’t have been older than nine. “Where is that mother of yours?”

“I don’t know.” Her eyes are visibly begin to tear up. “I hope nothing bad happened to her.”

Dear Celestia, not again! I walk up to her and put my hand on her shoulder. “Hey now. I’m sure your mom is just running late. Here’s an idea. How about we go look for her?”

She seems hesitant at first but agrees. I toss the ball randomly into the school house, pick Dinky up and put her on my shoulders again as we head down the path towards town. The brown leaves are falling from the tree to meet their friends at the ground. I take a deep breath, taking in the fresh, autumn air. “So,” I say to break the silence. “What does your mommy do for a living?”

“My mommy has the best job in the world! She’s a mail lady!” Sounds familiar. “She’s a little clumsy but, she always tries her best and delivers mail all over Ponyville.” Clumsy? There’s no way. “She also has these pretty grey wings.” Can it really be that-

My thoughts were interrupted by a voice that has been stuck in my head all day. “LET GO OF MY LITTLE MUFFIN!!!” And with that I was tackled to the ground, of course launching the girl on my shoulders into the air. As she nears her impending doom, a.k.a. the ground, I stick out my hand and release a field of magic, capturing her in it. I set her down gently and let out a sigh of relief.

I feel a weight on my lower back and a pounding on my upper back. Well, not so much as a pounding. More like a massage but with a bit more force. I turn my head as best I can to see my wannabe assailant to find Her. It was Her. Again, all I could do was stare. Her eyes were shut, tears flowing down cheeks. Motherly nature wants to kick in but, it wont. Like I said, all I could do was stare.

“GIVE ME BACK DINKY YOU KIDNAPPER!!!” She screams at me. So that’s what’s going on.

Dinky runs up to Her, giving her a hug. “Mommy!”

She stops crying for a second and looks down at Dinky. “Dinky!” she screamed with joy. “Are you okay? Did this man hurt you?” She resumes punching me. ”How dare you hurt my little Muffin!”

Dinky grabs her mother’s fists. “No Mommy. He didn’t hurt me. He offered to help me look for you because you were late.” I’m imagining that Dinky is giving her mother a pouty face, after all, I still have someone on my back.

“So now that we got that cleared out of the way, mind getting off of me?” I was getting tired of lying on my stomach with a 130 pound weight on my back.

“Oh.” She got up off my back and I stood up. As I turned around to face her, she stuck her face in my personal space. Sweet Celestia, she’s beautiful. Her hair blew in the autumn wind, almost like it was dancing. Her eyes, well, eye, was staring in to mine, and mine into hers. I begin to blush and look away but, she move her head to look at me again. “Do I know you?” she asks.

Don’t you dare mess this up. “Umm, yes. Well, no. You sort of tackled me down yesterday,” I say nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

“Oh! I remember now!” she says with a bubbly expression on her face.

“Actually, I was wondering. What’s your name?”

“My name is Ditzy Doo,” she said with a smile. Huh. Ditzy and Dinky Doo. How adorable. “What’s yours?”

Okay Scales. Play it cool. “My name is Scaley Waley, I MEAN IT'S GOLDEN SCALE!” Fucking smooth jackass. Ditzy and her daughter are both laughing at me. Adorable.

“Okay… Well… Thank you for watching over my daughter. Goodbye.” She waved to me as she walks past me, holding her daughter’s hand.

“Wait!” I call out. She turn around with a curious look on her face. “There’s something… I wanna ask you.”

“What is it?”

“Uhh… Well,” Come on! Moment of truth. Ask her out to dinner. “You see…” Say it. “I was wondering…” Ask her out! “If you…” You little wimp. SAY IT!!! “Know where I can get some furniture?” Fuck you mouth.

“Oh yeah, there’s this place called ‘Quills and Sofas’. I know they sell sofas and feathers but not much else.” Ditzy gave me a smile.

I hang my head. “Thanks,” I said as I walked past her. Better go buy a stupid sofa.

Author's Note: Yo everybody. I just wanted to say a few things. First, thank you all for reading my fanfic. Second, I'm going on vacation in a couple days and I will (almost) do my best to get Chapter 3 out before then and if I dont... wait patiently. I write slowly. Again, Thank you. Your my favorite reader. You. That other reader is an anus.

Chapter 3

I grunted to myself as I walked home. “I’m so stupid. ‘Know where I can get some furniture?’ I think I might cut myself.” I turn around to face the levitating piece of furniture behind me. “Fuck you, Sofa!” After totally messing up earlier with Ditzy, I decided to actually get a sofa at that place she mentioned. They were having a sale. For every piece of furniture you buy, you get a free quill. I don’t care what anyone says, I look stylin’ with this feather on my ear.

As I was approaching my home I noticed something. In front of my house, was a black, demonic carriage. We all know what that means. Ol’ Princess Luna came for a visit. As I walked up the pathway leading to the door of my house, I waved at the two guards next to the carriage. Those guys are like stone. I don’t like it when I don’t get a reaction, so I took out my trusty permanent marker. They knew what was coming next and moved inside of the carriage. I was known for drawing mustaches on people when they didn’t react to me. I’m a kid at heart.

I opened my door expecting to find Luna wandering around my empty house, but instead I find her sitting on a couch, watching TV, in my fully furnished house. My jaw hit the ground. The living room at the front of the house had a wide, plasma screen TV, a coffee table, and said couch with two night stands on both sides. The dining room had a huge, oval, glass table surrounded by six carved, wooden chairs with cushions. Luna noticed me, got up from the comfiest looking couch I have ever seen and said in a hushed tone, like she always does, “GREETINGS, MY FAIR SUBJECT!!! IT IS I, YOUR DEAR PRINCESS LUNA!!!” That last joke was oozing sarcasm.

Anyway, once my eardrums recovered, I said “I’m not your subject. I’m your friend. Lulu, how did you know where I live?”

“I’m the princess! I know everything.” She was speaking normally now.

“What’s the meaning of the life?”

“42.”

“Lucky guess.” We shared a laugh at my reference to a movie that doesn’t exist. I return to looking at my once empty house. She was wearing a black gown, that sparkled whether in light of darkness. Her black wings could have been mistake for the night. Her black hair shined just as much as her gown, blowing in the nonexistent wind. No, wait. I sensed the air conditioner is on. It was probably blowing because of that. “Is all this really for me, Lulu?”

She gave me a smile. “Why? Do you not like it? I could always send it back,” she said mockingly.

“No!” I jumped the trigger a little too quickly. She continued to smile at me and I just walked up and hugged her. I’m a huggy person. “Just… Thank you Luna.”

Luna returned my hug. “If you really wanted to thank me, you’d come back Canterlot.” Ah, I see.

“Nah. Canterlot is too stuffy.” I put on an idea face as I release her from our hug. “I know! Why don’t you move here?”

“YOU FOOL!!!” she screamed, face blushing uncontrollably. “HOW DARE YOU ASK SOME AS HIGH CALSS AS MYSELF TO LIVE WITH SUCH A PESANT!!!” I couldn’t help but laugh. She always got upset easily. “Well, I have royal matters to attend to.” She walked past me, not giving me a second look. “I may perhaps visit you at a later date.”

“You’re welcome here any time.” I was about to enter my house and view the rest of the rooms when Luna turned around and hugged me again.

“Thank you,” she whispered. She released me and headed back to the carriage.

Me and Luna are like best friends. It all started when I was sent to the moon five years ago. You see, what happened was I lost a bet, and had to ask Princess Celestia out on a date. Instead of her nobly rejecting me, which I expected, she became flustered and next thing I knew, I was on the moon.

At first I freaked the hell out. “Oh no! Don’t tell me I’m gonna be stuck here for a thousand years!” I screamed like that for about an hour before I got bored of it and started wandering around. I saw what you would expect to see on the moon. Space and rocks. Tons of it. Surprisingly, the moon has an atmosphere much similar to Equestria’s. I can breathe easily. Learn something new everyday.

After about three hours of exploring, I stumbled upon a cave. It looked ominous and dark. Curiosity took over and walked into the cave’s blackness. I used I light spell to illuminate my way. I got deeper into the cave when I notice what looked like writing on the walls. I lifted the orb of light to the wall. What I saw… would make any man cry. It was writings on the wall. They read things like “I’m so lonely,” and “I want my sister.”

I became light headed as memories, memories not my own, flushed through my head. Nothing but space and rocks. For one thousand years, nothing but space and rocks. My eyes began to water as I came to realize what I was seeing. Princess Luna’s memories. Nightmare Moon wasn’t just sent to the moon. Luna was too. One thousand years of no one to talk to beside your own thoughts. One thousand years of loneliness. I start to bawl. That all to familiar pain grew in my center. I fell to my knees and just wept.

It wasn’t long after that before a pink shroud of magic covered me and I was once again in the throne room of the palace in Canterlot. “I’m sorry Scales. I didn’t mean to send you to the moon. It’s just that it’s been a long time since…” I tuned out Celestia. I didn’t care for what she had to say at the moment. Right now, I need to find Luna. I need to comfort her. I got off the ground and bursted out of the throne room. “Scales? Where are you going?” Celestia calls out for me but I’m already long gone.

I burst into Luna’s room and find her sitting in front of a mirror, brushing her hair. She turns around to face me, startled by the sound of the slamming door. “WHAT DOST THOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!?!? BURSTING INTO THE PRIVATE QURTERS OF A PRINCESS!?!?” She screams at me using the Royal Canterlot Voice.

I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her, tears still flowing from my face. “I’m so sorry.” She squirms in my arms trying to break free of my grasp but I just tighten it.

“HOW DARE YOU GRAB HOLD OF ME!!!” She’s still screaming at me.

“I’ve been to the moon Luna.” She stops squirming. “I saw your cave and the writings and I am so sorry.”

“Twas not me.” She’s done screaming. “Twas Nightmare Moon who wrote-”

“No it wasn’t!” It was my turn to scream and will not let her finish that sentence. “Nightmare Moon wasn’t the only one sent up there! You were too!” I feel her eyes begin to tear up. “You were there Luna! No one should ever have to go through the pain you went through. That pain, I know, is agonizing. That pain of feeling alone. The pain of feeling no one wants you.” She wraps her arms around me embracing me, bawling like I once did. “One thousand year of no one to talk to! One thousand years of being all by yourself! The anguish you felt inside must have been unbearable but, I know that pain far to well! I really do! That yearning, wanting to reach out to someone close to you, only for them to be too far out of grasp, and they may be forever! I know that pain! I know that pain…”

We stood their for what seemed like hours, days even, holding each other in our grasps, comforting each other. I really did know that pain. Luna cried into my chest as I cried into her hair. “You’ll never have to be alone again Luna. Never again….”

I waved to Luna as her chariot flew away. She waved back with a smile. I walked back inside my house, heading towards the bedroom. I opened the door to find a cloud with a comforter over it. Literally. A cloud was in the middle of my bedroom with a comforter over it. I take a seat of the side of the bed. That was my first experience with a cloud and I have now decided it shall be my death bed.

Next thing I noticed was a big wardrobe. It was made out of wood, mahogany I think, and was excellently crafted. One thing I found weird abut it though was this knob at the center. Apparently, this wardrobe has settings, LR and W. It was set to LR. I had no clue what it meant. Anyway curious of what the inside looked like I opened the two doors of the wardrobe. I found not clothes but a portal… to Luna’s room. I get it now. I close the door and turn the knob to the W, opened the doors and found clothes. LR stands for Luna’s Room and W stand for wardrobe. Remember this for future problems.

The other two bedrooms were empty. I guess I need to fill up those rooms. I wandered through the house checking to make sure I had everything. I seemed to have everything to live a simple life, even a computer. I walked out to the backyard to see if there was anything out there. My jaw hit the ground again. In my backyard was a stable with one animal in it. That animal… was a fucking ostrich. I began crying tears of joy. Luna always knew I wanted an ostrich. Ostriches gave me a sense of false superiority. Just think about. OH you want to fight me? Hold on a sec, just let me get on my FUCKING OSTRICH!!! I slowly stepped towards the ostrich. It noticed me and began doing the same. We were about arms distance away when it started inspecting me. It gazed at my head, body, everything. It than sat down in front of me, with an approving look on its face. I stepped behind it and put one leg over its torso. The ostrich got up with me on its shoulder and started walking. All I could do was cry. Thank you Luna. My tears of joy were cut short when we ran into the side of my house.

Okay I'm going on vacation today wand wanted to upload this chapter because I love you. Chapter 4 should come out next week. Chapter 4 should also be less sappy. I think there will be some sappy. Also, I need an editor, with awesome grammar, and know better words than I do. If you want to my editor send me a message. Kthnxbai.

Chapter 4

Woe is me, woe is me. ‘Tis but torture to be separated from thy Ditzy for so long. Three suns and moons have passed since I gazed into thine eyes last. If only there was a way, for thee to be in my presence once more, so I could correctly portray thy feelings.

Holy crap, it’s hard to talk like that. It’s been three days since I have last seen Ditzy and I have grown lonesome. I expected Luna to pop by, but, so far, no visits. With only me in this huge house, that lonely feeling has been getting more and more bothersome. The only one around to talk to is Wolfgang. Wolfgang is the ostrich. I love that name. How badass is that name? Wolfgang. Sound like a pack of wolfs wrapped into one guy. Wolfgang. Anyway, since Wolfgang can’t really talk, it’s still pretty lonely around here. That reminds me, it’s his feeding time.

I walk outside into the backyard with a sack of ostrich food…hold on; I need to side track real quick. Ponyville has a shop that specifically caters to the needs of ostriches. It services no other pets. No cats, no dogs, no other birds. Just ostriches. To my knowledge, I’m the only one in all of Ponyville who owns an ostrich. How is that place still in business?

Anyway, I walk into the backyard and head towards the stable with the ostrich food. The stable looks almost exactly like a stable for cows and stuff, except the stalls are a bit wider. There is only, like, eight stalls, so it isn’t that big. I open the door using my gluteus maximus because my hands are busy carrying the food. “Hey Wolfy! Got some noms for ya!” As I turn around to face my flightless friend, who else would be there petting him other than Ditzy.

I, of course, do what I always do and stare. She is wearing the uniform of a mail man, well, mail woman. A blue, short-sleeved, button-up shirt with a little patch with the picture of a zooming Pegasus on one of the sleeves, jeans and a satchel hanging around one shoulder. Ditzy turns around and faces me, apparently surprised that someone, perhaps the owner of the stable, would walk in on her. Her face grows red. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge into your stable. I just saw the ostrich while I was flying delivering mail and it’s not every day you see an ostrich and I wanted to pet it, so I flew down and I startled him, so he ran into here, and I followed him. I’m so sorry! Please don’t call the police!”

Holy flying gumballs, she is adorable when she is all rattled up. I let out a sigh and began walk up to them with a warm smile. “You know, you could always ask to see him.” I walk past Ditzy and up to Wolfgang, keeping my cool pretty well, leading him to one of the stalls. Ditzy is staring at me the whole time. As I close the stall door and put the feed in, she stares.

“Do I know you?”

I put the feed bag down against the wall of the stable and turn to face Ditzy. "You seriously don't remember me?" She shakes her head. I let out a sigh. “Golden Scale, at your service,” I say while giving a little bow. Where was this courage three days ago? She looks at me quizzically. “I attempted to help your daughter find you then you tackled me to the ground three days ago.”

“Oh! You’re that kidnapper!”

‘Yay. She remembers,’ he thought in a monotone. “I thought we settled that I wasn’t a kidnapper?”

“Did we?” She looks at me with those walled eyes, still quizzical. What’s the expression I’m looking for? My heart sank? My heart exploded? My heart exploded and all the pieces sank? Whatever, she was cuter than baby kittens wearing tuxedos in a court room and I fell in love with her… again. Is it possible to fall in love with a woman then fall in love with her again while still in love with her? Fuck it.

“Again, I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Ditzy begins to head for the door.

“Wait!” This is the third time I’ve said ‘wait’ to her and this time it will mean something! “There is something I want to ask you.”

She turns around. “Do you need more furniture?”

“Ye-” My brain mentally punched my mouth in the face. “No. I actually…” Brain is still beating Mouth. “Wanted to ask you…” Brain just stabbed Mouth in the kidney. “If you would like to go to dinner sometime… tomorrow… maybe… with me?” And Brain is victorious! The crowd goes wild! I didn’t notice how red my face was until just then. Luckily for me, Ditzy’s was too. Not as red as mine, but still.

“Sure. I would love to.” Yes! Ditzy takes out a note pad and a pen and starts scribbling something down on it. “Here’s my address and phone number.” Yes yes yes!

She tears out the piece of paper and hands it me. Her penmanship leaves something to be desired but I can‘t complain.

“You can pick me up around six.” She turns to the door and looks back with a smile on her face. “See you tomorrow.” And with that, Ditzy took to the air, flying off to finish delivering mail.

Alright! Finally, I asked Ditzy out! Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever! I danced a little jig with the biggest smile on my face, letting out high pitched squeals of delight. Wolfgang looked at me like “the fuck is he doing?“ I was so excited I almost didn’t notice that there was a flaw in my plan. Where am I going to take her?

Okay, so I spent the rest of yesterday searching Ponyville for a restaurant. I found this one restaurant that was rather nice. Not too fancy, no need to wear a tux. Food was cheap so I could pay for both our meals. They even gave me a sample of their food. Delicious. Now how friendly was that? The restaurant was called Repas du Mamelon. It's foreign. No clue what is says but it sounds nice.

Right now, I am on my way to Ditzy’s house to pick her up. I’m wearing a nice, sky blue, button-up, long-sleeved shirt with black dress pants and shoes. Just because I don’t need to dress fancy doesn’t mean I don’t want to.

The walk was pleasant. The air smelt of autumn and the brown leaves covered the ground. It was nice. I arrived at the Doo residence after a thirty minute walk. Nice little house. Quaint. As I was walking up the walkway to the door, my body began to shiver. My brain began to fight my body.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

What are you talking about Legs? This is what we wanted, right?

I know but I’ m so nervous. Maybe we should leave. I began to turn around.

I will stab you like I did Mouth. I turned to face the door again.

I knocked on the door. A moment later, there was a loud crashing noise from behind it. “Ow.” A few moments later, Ditzy opened the door, rubbing her head. “Hi.” Again, I stared. She was wearing a lovely grey-blue, shoulder less shirt with bubbles on the sides. It fits her quite nicely. She looks so beautiful. I caught myself staring and looked away, with my face turning into a tomato.

“Hey. Is everything all right in there?” I look past her to see into her house. It’s a surprisingly well kept house. I see Dinky on the floor playing with little dolls while an unknown person sits on a chair watching her. She has this curly orange hair. It looks rather nice.

“Oh, it’s nothing. So, are you ready to go?” Dinky looks at the door and notices me. She gets up and runs to the door to greet me.

“Hello, Mister Scales.” I need to use other words than adorable to describe this little girl.

“Hello, Dinky.” I give her a warm smile as I crouch down to her eye level. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been fine. Mommy broke a vase though.” Ditzy looks at Dinky with an upset expression. I guess she didn’t want me to know that.

“I hope you don’t mind me taking Mommy out for the evening.”

“It’s fine, but you better not let anything happen her.”

“Guard’s honor.”

“Well we better get going,” Ditzy interrupted us. “Thanks again for babysitting Carrot Top.”

The woman in the chair waves her hand. “No problem. You kids have fun now.”

Ditzy waves to her friend and kisses her daughter on the cheek. “Bye.”

And with that we begin walking to our destination. Walking side by side with a pretty woman. This is nice.

“So, where are we headed?”

“We are going to a little restaurant call Repass do Mammilon.”

“You mean Repas du Mamelon?”

“I see you speak foreign.”

“No, I just go there often. They have really great food.”

“So I noticed.”

We spend the rest of the walk there in silence.

Upon entering Repas du Mamelon, we are greeted by a man in tuxedo behind a podium. “Hello, and welcome to Repas du Mamelon. Do you have a reservation?”

It took me a second to realize he was asking me something; I was too distracted by his moustache.

“Uhh, yes. Two under Scale, I believe.”

He skims through the papers on the podium looking for my name.

“Ah, yes. Right this way.”

He leads us to a table not far from the door. The tables were crafted expertly out of mahogany. There’s a lot of things made out of mahogany here in Ponyville. As we take our seats, the man hands us some menus.

“The waiter will be with you shortly.”

We sit in silence, browsing our menus as he leaves to attend another couple that just walked in.

It was me who broke the silence first. “So you’ve been here before? What do you recommend?”

Ditzy looks up from her menu “I usually just order whatever the specials are. Otherwise, I just get spaghetti.” Silence.

“Being a mail woman seems like a nice occupation. How is it?”

“It’s a fun job. Well, not all the time. I sometimes get addresses messed up and deliver the wrong mail to people. Whenever I do, people call me names.” Aww. “They usually call me Derpy Hooves.”

“Hooves?”

“Yeah. Probably because I’m so clumsy.”

This is the second time I’ve seen Ditzy sad and this time, I’m going to do something about it. “You shouldn’t listen to them. They’re just jerks. You’re clumsiness is something I like about you.” I give her a big smile. This seems to make Ditzy’s mood lighten up a bit.

“Anyway, what job do you have?”

“Well, not to brag, but I was a high ranking member of the Royal Guard.” I notice her eyes glisten.

“Wow! That must be so cool! Wait… you said you were a member. So you’re not anymore?”

“Nope.”

“Why? Were you fired?”

“No, I wasn’t fired. I took an early retirement.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Have you heard of the name ‘Slurry Slaughter‘?”

Ditzy gets a confused look on her face. “I vaguely remember it. Who is he?”

“Slurry Slaughter was the name given to the serial killer who became famous in Canterlot.” Her eyes widen. “There’s no need to worry anymore though, because I stopped him and for stopping him, I received a large reward.”

Ditzy’s eyes get even wider. “You stopped a serial killer!?” She leans forward. “You have to tell me how!”

“I guess I can tell you. It all started when-” I was interrupted by the entrance door bursting open and the sound gunfire.

Author's Note: Sup everypony. I'm back from vacation. I wanna thank my editor, f0xhole, for doin' what he do. And thank you for reading.

Chapter 5

“Everyone get on the ground!” one of the two thugs shouted. He fired eight more shots into the ceiling with his automatic rifle. Everyone in the restaurant but me got on the ground while Thug #2 closed the door behind him. They were both wearing black clothes with ski masks hiding their face. At least they weren’t stupid.

I rose from my seat. “Hey! Just who the-” I was cut off by Ditzy grabbing my arm and pulling me to the ground. “Hey…” Ditzy’s eyes were closed shut. I could feel her fear. I decided to cooperate with her and just lay on the ground next to her, doing my best to comfort her.

“Okay, assholes,” Thug #1 addressed the restaurant.

Sure. You rob a restaurant and we’re the assholes. Makes sense.

“Let’s make this nice and easy. Put all of your money in the bag and nobody gets shot. If anyone calls the cops,” he grabs the man behind the podium, “Mr. Fancy-Stache here gets a bullet through the brain.”

No! Not Mr. Fancy-Stache!

Thug #2 began walking around the restaurant with a pillow case. As he neared each table, everyone put their bits into the bag. One lady didn’t have any bit on her, so Thug #2 pistol whipped her with gun.

“What do you mean you ain’t got any bits!?” His voice was pretty ragged and hoarse.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have any bits.”

“Shut up!” Thug #2 hits her with the gun again and she lets out a scream. “If you ain’t got any bits, then maybe that necklace is worth something.” He gets down closer to the woman.

She grabs hold of the medallion on the golden chain around her neck. “No, please no! This belonged to my father! Please, no!” The man yanks the necklace off her neck as she begins to cry.

He fires his pistol into the ceiling. “What the fuck did I just say!? Shut your fucking mouth lady!” Tears roll down her cheeks as she tries to hold in her cries.

My blood began to boil. It enrages me that some people can be so heartless and cruel to others. I was about get up and give them a piece of mind when I heard a whimper. It wasn’t coming from the woman though. It was coming from Ditzy. Her eyes were closed shut and tears flowed from them. She let out small whimpers until they turned into small cries.

Thug #2 turned to our direction. “Who the fuck was that?” He looks at us. “Hey pal, quiet down your girl before I do.” He aims the gun at Ditzy, which only makes her cry louder. “Ay Girly, I said shut up!” Everything he says makes Ditzy’s cries louder and me angrier. “I said SHUT UP!!”

Everyone looks away as the sound of gunfire fills the room. As they look back upon the scene, they see me standing in front of the man with the pistol and Ditzy still crying on the ground. The man begins to look up at the towering man before him that he shot in the kidney. His eyes met mine. He winced as he saw the rage burning in my eyes.

“Just who the fuck,” my hand grips the side of a table. “DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!?” I lifted the table off the ground and smashed it over his head. The table exploded, slivers of wood going everywhere, as Thug #2 flew through the air, landing at the feet of Thug #1, who was standing by the podium with the rifle aimed at the head of Mr. Fancy-Stache.

“What the fu-” His sentence was cut short due to his face being interrupted by my fist. He hit the wall behind him and Mr. Fancy-Stache stumbled behind me.

“Do you know how much courage I had to build up to ask this ‘Girly’ out? And here you two fuckers are, fucking up my date!!” I screamed at them at the top of my lung. Groans of pain weren’t the answer to my question. I picked both of the thugs of the ground by their masks, slammed their heads together, and threw them through the door. Through the door. Through. The door also exploded into slivers of wood that went everywhere. Before I finished, I turned to face the people in the restaurant. “Someone call the police.” I turned back to where the door was. “Before we need to call the morgue.”

The thugs were not out on the street for all to see. Thug #2 was knocked out while Thug #1 was still letting out moans.

“Hey, assholes!” I screamed at them. “What makes you think that you’re so much better than us that you get to take what we worked all day for!?” Thug #1 looked at me inching towards him. He quickly pulled himself backwards with fear in his eyes.

He grabs his gun and aims it at me. “Stay back!” The shear fright in his voice was so satisfying. I still inched ever closer to him with a wicked smile on my face. Something about getting violent gave me a sadistic satisfaction. I hated it, hurting others is not what I like to do, but I loved it, putting others in their place. “I said stay back… or I’ll shoot!” The rifle shook in his hands.

“I’d like to see you try.” My smile grew wider. He did as commanded and fired three shots came out of the barrel before he flinched in pain.

He looked at his leg to find it bleeding from the bullets he fired. “What.. What the fuck!?”

“Surprised?” He fired his gun at me again. The bullets moved in slow motion as they came at me. Each bullet that came at me was caught my magical field. With wicked fast circular movements of my body, I sent the bullets back to the sender. They hit Thug #1 in his shoulder and two into his friend’s torso.

Side track time-As a member of the Royal Guard, I was required to learn a form of fighting. I decided to go with Baguazhang. This form of martial arts is sometimes called circle walking. Most of the movements involved in Baguazhang revolve around circular movement. This combined with my magic, is almost enough to stop any assailant, whether in a fist fight or with a gun.

Back to the action. The thug fired continually at me, too scared to realize that his bullets weren’t hitting. Every time a bullet came near, I either dodged it or sent it back at him. Three seconds later his magazine was empty. He continued to back away.

“Aww, all out of ammo are we?” I said in a mocking tone. Not knowing what else to do, he threw his gun at me and hightailed it out of there. Unfortunately for him, I had magic. I grabbed him in a field of magic and threw him in my direction. As he zoomed towards me I pulled a fist back. When he came into range, I threw it right into his gut. The thug let out a moan before he passed out.

I stared at the two unconscious bodies on the ground in front of me. With the threat gone and everyone unharmed, my blood simmered down and I returned to my normal self. “I really didn’t want to do that,” I said, rubbing that back of my head. As I heard the sirens in the distance I returned to the inside of the restaurant, where I was greeted with shouts of joy and thanks. A warm feeling rested inside of me now.

I returned to my date who was sitting on the ground with a few tears in her eyes. I got down next to her to continue comforting her. “Are you alright?” She stared at me for a second, then wrapped her arms around me.

“What do you mean ‘am I alright’? What about you!?” She began crying. "You have a bullet in you!"

...Holy shit, I do! I forgot all about how Thug #2 shot me. I let out a small chuckle. "You mean this?" I use my magic to remove the bullet from my kidney. Bad idea. I begin to bleed profusely. I cover the wound with my hand and a small glow radiates from my hand. I may be a great fighter but I'm also a healer. Within seconds, my wound was gone.

“ See, I’m fine,” I said in gentle tone. Ditzy wraps her arms around me and begins crying into my chest. Sometimes, I feel like a tissue. At least I'm a sexy tissue. I return her hug and continue to comfort her.

We sat their embracing each other until the police arrived. They handcuffed the two unconscious thugs and took them to the prison. Several officers asked the restaurant goers what happened and they told them the amazing story of how I took them out single handedly. The officers gave me their praise and I did my best not to brag.

After the police have left and things got as calm as they could have gotten, I took Ditzy’s hand, led her to an unoccupied table and shouted “Hey Waiter! I think I’ll have the spaghetti!"

We really hit it off after the whole robbery thing. I found out Ditzy’s birthday was coming soon, she really likes muffins, and she is also 25. I began wondering if I should ask her when she had Dinky, but I decided to let her tell me on her own. The best part of the dinner was that it was free. We didn’t have to spend a bit on anything. I felt kind of bad because I broke a table and the front door, but they denied every offer I gave them.

Currently, I am walking Ditzy home as it is the gentlemanly thing to do. The walk to her house was beautiful. The night sky was dotted with bright stars and the moon was shining brightly. We stopped outside the walkway of her house.

“Well Ditzy, here you are. I had a lovely time tonight.” I give her a warm smile.

“I had a great time too. Thank you for walking me home and, umm…” Her face turned red and she looked away.

“Is something wrong?” I was still concerned for her. Then, without notice, she leaned forward and kissed me. Right on the lips. I felt a mixed feeling of shock and awe. Here she was, Ditzy, the girl of my dreams, giving me my first kiss. Yeah, I’m 25 and I never kissed a girl before, fuck off. I wanted this moment to never end.

Sadly it did, as she pulled away with the biggest smile on her face. “Thank you for saving my life today.” I would have replied but I was still in shock from the kiss. She ran to her door and walked in. Before closing it, Ditzy turned around and said, “Bye.” All I could do was lift my hand up and wave. As she closed her door, I remained standing still.

After a couple moments passed, I snapped back to reality. A huge grin appeared on my face as shock and awe turned into pure happiness and excitement. I did my little jig and chanted “Yes, yes, yes,” silently. At the end of my dance I struck a pose and teleported myself home.

I missed my house by about twenty feet and was in the front yard. I didn’t care though. I was in bliss. As I neared the front door, I heard the sound of the TV. I opened the door and who else would be sitting on my couch watching my TV but the goddess of the sun, Princess Celestia.

“Greetings, Scales. How are you doing this evening?” Princess Celestia said in her normal calming voice. She was wearing a white sun dress (I see what she did there) and white high heeled shoes. Her hair had shades of green, pink, and blue that, as always, blew in my air conditioner’s wind. Seriously, that hair annoyed me. Stay down you stupid, glorious hair!

Now when most people find Celestia sitting on their couch when they come home, they would bow and ask her if she needed anything. I’m not most people. I knew she wanted me to do something. Something being anything from changing her cat’s kitty litter to going to Tartarus, hogtieing Cerberus, and bringing him to her alive. My bliss went away. I let out a sigh and replied nonchalantly, “It’s all good. Met a girl, asked her out on a date, the place got robbed, I stopped them. You know. The usual.” I walked past her to the kitchen. I was thirsty.

“So I heard. You seem to be doing rather well since you retired.” I hated how she put the emphasis on ‘retired’.

“Yep. Just fine.” I grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge.

“I assume you know why I’m here?”

“You want me to hogtie Cerberus and bring him back to you alive, right?” I take a gulp from the milk carton.

Celestia chuckled. “No, nothing so extreme. I came here to offer you your job back.”

“Celestia, I would love to take my job back, but I really like it here. Canterlot doesn’t have what I need and Ponyville does. I wouldn’t have been able to save anyone tonight if I wasn’t here, obviously. Ponyville needs me and I need it. Sorry Celestia, but I’m going to have to decline.” I take another gulp.

“Who said you would be coming back to Canterlot?” I almost choked on the milk. Milk is now all over the floor.

“What?”

“I don’t need you back in Canterlot. There are hundreds of guards there. Ponyville is in need of protecting and you are the one what can do it.”

“What exactly are you getting at?”

Celestia gets a wide smile, noting my curiosity. “I want to hire you as Ponyville’s protector.”

I ponder this for a moment. I am what Ponyville basically needs. A protector. One to stop all things wrong. I sigh, knowing that she won. “Okay Princess. I’ll do it.”

She rises from the couch. “Perfect.” She snaps her fingers and a suit of armor appears on my coffee table. It’s the armor I wore before retirement. It was actually the exact pair. The helmet had that scale on the back that I etched into it. “You start in one week.”

“One week? Why not now?”

“Because the dragon migration is starting soon and they’ll be flying over Ponyville in one week. You need to make sure no one gets eaten.”

“Ah, I see… wait, what?”

Author's Note: Thanks again to my editor. And again thank all of you for reading my fanfic. I never actually thought it would be good. I'll try to get at least two more chapters before school starts on August 20th.

Chapter 6

It’s been a week since the robbery attempt and Princess Celestia gave me my job back. Everyone except for the few people that are roaming the streets are inside their homes for the dragon migration. I, on the other hand, am on the roof of the town hall to get the best view.

I have always been amazed by dragons. I wish I could breathe fire, fly, and be a reptile. My name would still fit me perfectly. I studied dragons when I was in Canterlot. I learned that although some dragons do eat humans, most stick to a diet of gems and different animals. I really hope no human-eating dragons swoop by though.

So here I sat, staring at the open blue sky with Ditzy by my side. I begged her not to come with me, but she gave me the most adorable cross-eyed puppy dog pout in the history of forever. No one could say no to that.

I looked at the sun’s position in the sky to get an estimate of what time it was. “It’s around one o’clock. The dragons should be arriving soon.”

Ditzy got excited. “I can’t wait. I’ve never seen a dragon before. Well, not a full grown one. My friend, Twilight, has a baby dragon named ‘Spike’. He‘s tiny.” She stared down at the people in the street. “Hey, there she is now. Hey! Twilight!”

She began waving her arms frantically to get the attention of the purple haired girl wearing a camouflaged helmet, who was walking down the street with a familiar cotton-candy haired girl. The purple haired girl, who I assume is Twilight, turned, looking for the voice calling her name.

“Up here!” Twilight looked up and saw Ditzy flailing her arm in the air.

“Ditzy, what are you doing up there!?” Twilight called out.

“I’m going to watch the dragon migration!”

“Isn’t that dangerous to do it up there?!”

“I’m sure my boyfriend can handle it!” My face was now an apple. That was the first time Ditzy called me her boyfriend. It was actually kind of embarrassing but it made me happy all the same.

Twilight and Pinkie have been eyeing for some time. I was too distracted from being called Ditzy’s boyfriend to realize I was supposed to introduce myself.

“H- Hello!” I began. “M- My name is G- Golden Scale!” My face was still red. Even from all the way down there, I’m sure they noticed.

“Nice to meet you!” Twilight replied. “My name is Twilight Sparkle!”

“HI SCALES!!!” Pinkie Pie screamed, waving her arms haphazardly in the air. It was almost a screech.

I waved back. “Hi, Pinkie!” Twilight Sparkle… that sounds familiar. “Excuse me Miss Sparkle, you wouldn’t by chance be related to Shining Armor, would you!?”

Her face went quizzical. “How do you know my brother!?”

I smiled as my assumption turned out to be correct. “I used to serve under him! He’s a great man!” Oh and he was. He was captain of the Royal Guard for crying out loud. Shining Armor talked almost nonstop about his adorable little sister, Twilight Sparkle. It was nice to finally meet her. “Sorry for holding you! It was a pleasure meeting you!”

“Same to you! Bye Ditzy!” Twilight waved to us.

“BYE SCALES!!! BYE DITZY!!!” Pinkie Pie screamed at us, again waving like a maniac.

Ditzy and I began to wave them off, my arm moving back and forth at a safe speed. “Bye!” Ditzy shouted.

Twilight seemed to notice something behind us and took off with Pinkie toward the field outside town. I turned around to see a parade of winged reptiles heading our way. Nudging Ditzy, I pointed in the direction of the dragons. We both became anxious.

The only real time I saw a dragon was when one started terrorizing one of the villages near Canterlot. I didn’t get to study it at all though… because I had to kill it. With stabs. To the chest. With Equality. My sword. It was gruesome.

I took out my telescope to get a better view of the incoming reptiles. And what a view it was. There were at least two hundred dragons flying in this direction of so many different shapes, sizes, and colors. I handed the telescope to Ditzy so she could see the breathtaking sight as well. Her jaw dropped. “Look at all of the dragons!” she exclaimed with amazement. “There has to be, like,…” She began counting her fingers. “Well, more than ten.” I give a giggle.

Oh, how majestic these creatures be. ‘Tis but a gift from the gods that one would be able to lay thine eyes on such a sight.

Within minutes, the shadows of dragons zoomed by. Ditzy and I lay next to each other, enjoying the thrice in a life time opportunity. Strange how even though a dragon could get hungry at any moment and swoop down and eat us, this was calming. Serene, even. Lying next to the girl I love, under the sky with those beautiful creatures overhead, I begin to nod off, wishing this pacific scene would never end.

I was almost asleep when I heard the wail of a dragon. I bolted up, pinpointing the direction of the sound. I put the telescope to my eye and searched for the source.

“What was that?” Ditzy said in a fright. The screech seemed to have come from a (I think fully grown) red dragon, being swarmed by smaller, I assumed teenaged, dragons. The teenaged dragons were clawing the older one and breathing fire at it.

“It looks like a fight.” I continued to examine it. “Except, one isn’t fighting back.”

I saw a heavy looking teenage dragon body slam the red one, causing it to spiral towards the earth. Based on its trajectory, I concluded that it was heading towards the field that Twilight and Pinkie had rushed off to. I grabbed Ditzy by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “Ditzy, I need you to make sure nobody heads towards the field. You got that?”

She gave me a salute. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

By the gods, that’s cute.

With that, a magical field enveloped me in its glow. Next thing I knew I was standing in the middle of the field, the descending dragon headed this way. I searched frantically for Pinkie and Twilight.

“Pinkie! Where are you!?” I screamed, hoping them to be close enough to hear.

“HI SCALES!!!” I heard Pinkie’s unmistakable screech-scream. I turned around to find her waving her arms at me from a ditch in the ground. I looked at the incoming dragon again. Estimated time before impact: 20 seconds. Determined location of impact: That ditch. Shitshitshitshitshitshit.

I teleported next to the ditch and was slightly caught off-guard to see four others with Pinkie and Twilight but now is not the time. “You all need to move, now!”

They all looked at me confused. “What are you talking about?” Twilight asked.

“No time to explain! Get out now!” Estimated time of impact: 10 seconds.

“Why should we?” the rainbow haired one with wings said with an attitude. Wow, her hair is pretty awesome. I wonder how she got it like- NO TIME FOR HAIR QUESTIONS!!!

“I said,” I surrounded them all in a field of magic. “MOVE!!!” I lift them up and threw them to side. With only seconds to spare, I jumped to side as a huge red dragon crashed down in the ditch, creating a huge crater in the ground.

As the dust cloud clears, I look upon the scene. Lying in the huge crater was a huge red beefy dragon. Its wing span had to be more 30 feet. Its body from its head to its tail must have been had to be at least 50 feet. Its scales were all a bright red with the occasional splotch of silver. It took me a second to notice the holes in its wings and the gashes on its back. Its wing seemed to be bending the wrong was as well. I cautiously inched closer to the dragon. I summoned my sword to my hand in case it was dangerous.

The dragon slowly opened his green eyes and stared at me, examining me. Judging me. Then, the dragon spoke. “Help… me….” it pleaded in at a low volume. He spoke in a deep voice that showed wisdom. Similar to an old martial arts master.

I stared back into his eyes. They begged me to help. I can’t leave someone in need, even if it’s a dragon. I threw Equality to the side and said with a smile “I’ll do what I can.”

I climbed on top of his back, deciding that those would be the wounds to treat first. “Now this is gonna sting… a lot.” A magical aurora covered my hands, then his wound. He let out a roar of pain, waving his head around and breathing fire, but not at me.

As I am doing my best to treat this dragon, I hear the common battle cry of “HIIIIYYAAAA!!!” coming from the rainbow-haired girl who was flying towards the dragon with a kick.

“Stop that.” I grabbed her via magic and tossed her to the side.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Helping him.”

“Are you crazy!? That’s a dragon!”

“Well, your friend Twilight has a dragon and you don’t seem to-” Twilight has a dragon. “TWILIGHT!!!” I scream at the top my lungs.

I saw her head pop out of the edge of the crater. “Yeah, what is-” She seems to be caught off guard by the sight of the dragon.

“Whoa.” I see a glimmer in her eye. “Oh my Celestia; a real, grown dragon! I’ve never seen one this close before. Well, I have, but I never got to study it!”

“Be amazed later,” I interrupted. “He’s hurt and needs our help.” She looked at me on its back, hand over his one of his wounds. “You have a dragon so you know more about them than I do. Help me heal these wounds.”

Twilight gave me a nod and rushed over to me. She began tending to the wound next to me. As her magic laced palm came into contact with the gash, the dragon thrashes around some more. I kept my footing but Twilight fell off. “Whoa, calm down buddy!”

“It burns!” he screamed in pain.

By this time, Pinkie and all of her friends were watching us. “Which one of you is the fastest?”

The rainbow haired one raised her hand. “That would be me, Rainbow Dash, fastest in Equest-”

“Brag later.” I find her annoying. “Go to the hospital and get some anaesthesia, some sedatives, anything that numbs.”

“Why should I?” she said while crossing her arms.

“Really? Does this look soothing?” I said gesturing to our flailing, reptilian friend.

“Fine.” With that she zoomed towards town.

Twilight resumed her position next to me. “Okay,” she begins to the dragon, “Get ready.” She began healing the other gash. The dragon flailed again, but this time Twilight stayed where she was.

Not even a minute passed before Rainbow Dash returned with a bag full of syringes. “Okay. Here you go.” She tossed the bag at me even though I clearly have my hand tied up with something. The bag falls on the ground. I give her a look. “Oops.”

I looked over at Twilight, who was barely staying on the dragons back. “Think you know how to inject those into our friend here?”

Almost on cue, she fell off, conveniently next to the bag. “Umm… yes.”

Twilight grabbed the bag and took out a syringe. She wandered around the side of the dragon, trying to find vein or something. I have no clue. She stopped at a certain point, sticking the needle of the syringe under a scale and injecting the sedative into the dragon. The dragon was still flinching in pain.

“We’re gonna need a lot more than one shot, Twilight.” Twilight continued to inject the sedatives into the dragon until the dragon began to calm down.

I was too distracted by my current situation to hear the familiar voice screaming in the distance. “Rainbow! You can’t come out here!” It was Ditzy, doing what I had told her to do and making sure no one came to the field. She ran next to Rainbow and grabbed her shoulder, panting heavily. “Rainbow, you… can’t be… here.” Once Ditzy caught her breath, she realized what was in front of her. A dragon. “Ooooh.” Obviously, she was amazed. Before I could say anything to her, she ran to the head of the dragon. His eyes examined her. “Hello,” Ditzy said in a cheery tone.

“Hello… young one.” The dragon said between breaths.

“My name is Ditzy. What’s yours?”

“My name… is Draco.” Draco. How stereotypical.

“That’s a cool name.” I’m not entirely sure, but I think I saw Draco smile at her.

“Your name is far more interesting than mine, young one. Ditzy is a rather unique name.”

“No it’s not.” She blushed.

This dragon is hitting on my girl! I eye him daggers, even though he can’t see me.

Hours have passed since Draco crashed and the migrating dragons are long gone. I assume no one was eaten. Twilight and I were able to heal the injuries on his back and the holes in his wings, but the broken wing was an entirely different story. Neither mine nor Twilight’s magic was advanced enough to heal a broken bone. The best we could do was make a splint for it. Ditzy was able to keep Draco company all the while.

“Thank you all for your kindness,” said Draco to the eight of us, even though only half of us did anything. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here.”

“Don’t thank us yet,” Twilight said. “That wing is still broken, despite our best efforts, and you won’t be able fly until it heals up.”

Draco hung his head. “Well that is rather unfortunate. Seeing as I am a dragon and we have been given the reputation of eating your kind, I cannot stay near your village.” He raised his head. “Do any of you perhaps know of a place where I can stay while my wing heals?”

Everyone put a finger to their chin. I was the first to come up with an idea. “Why not stay in the Everfree Forest? I’m sure you can handle anything that poses as a threat.”

“I do not partake in violence,” said the dragon. “Just because I can take on any creature, doesn’t mean I would like to. I’m a pacifist.” Everyone lets out small gasps. A dragon who’s against violence. Who would’a thought?

“Aren’t you a carnivore? You eat meat, right?” asked Twilight.

“I am a carnivore. I only kill what I intend to eat. Anything else would be a wasting a life.” Look at this dragon and his morals. “If there is any alternative, I would gladly appreciate it.”

Everyone put a finger to their chins again. Ditzy eyes go wide as her idea pops into her head. “I know! You can stay with Scales!”

I was caught off guard by this. “What?”

“I couldn’t impose upon you like that,” Draco declined.

“It’ll be fine.” Ditzy reassured him, not on my behalf. “Scales’ house is on the edge of town and there aren’t any houses near it so you’ll be fine.”

“Umm, Ditzy,” I interrupted. “I don’t think having a dragon at my house is the best idea.” It was a great idea, actually. Nobody lives near me and my backyard is large enough to accommodate him. I just don’t want him to get hungry and eat poor little Wolfgang.

“Please. He has nowhere else to go.” Her eyes became big and shiny and her bottom lip began to quiver.

After three seconds of futile resisting, I gave in. “Fine.“ You try saying no to this adorable cross-eyed puppy dog pout.

“Yay!” Ditzy cheered. She turned to Draco with a large smile. “Isn’t this great! You have a place to live!”

“Temporarily,” I interrupted.

“I really can’t thank you enough, Mister Scales.”

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t eat my ostrich.”

And that, my friends, is why my stables are now always locked.

Author's Note: Check out this seductive red text. Sorry this one took so long. Got distracted. Thanks again f0xhole, readers, and a special thanks to my friend Ryan who gave me the idea for this chapter.

Chapter 7

It’s been about a month since my new roommate, Draco, began his temporary stay at my home. I looked up on my computer how long it would take for his wing to heal; three months. At first, I was like, “Son of a bitch!”, but he has been growing on me. He’s been staying in my backyard and has been smart enough to not eat Wolfgang; because if he does, I will murder him where he lays.

It has been nice to have someone around to have an intellectual conversation with. We talk about politics, the economy, where the fuck my spoons went, and things like that.

“You do not even use your spoons,” Draco said in an attempt to defend himself.

“Yes, I do. Whenever I eat ice cream, I use a spoon,” I rebutted.

“That reminds me, why don’t you use a bowl instead of eating out of the tub?”

“Don’t change the subject! You ate all of my spoons!”

“Well maybe if you fed me a decent meal, I wouldn’t need to. Seriously, I am your guest and you are the host. You must take responsibility for me.”

“Fine, you want a nice meal, I’ll go make you one.” I turn to the house. “Oh wait. I can’t because someone ate all of my fucking spoons!”

“Hey guys!” The most beautiful voice rang in my ears as the most beautiful girl descended from the sky. As Ditzy landed, she could feel the tension in the air. “What’s wrong with you two?”

I pointed my finger at the dragon. “Bitch ate my spoons!”

“Only because he never feeds me properly!” His eyes drift towards the stables. “Perhaps that ostrich would provide me with a better meal than you.”

Fecal matter at this very moment has become reality. “Oh, it’s on now!” Equality appeared in my hand with a flash. “Come at me bro!” I shouted, opening my arms for the universal gesture of Come At Me Bro.

Draco let out a huge roar the shook the ground around us. “Bring it, whelp!”

Before things could get any worse, Ditzy got in between us. “Stop it you two!” she said in a harsh, demanding tone. Draco and I stopped where we stood, intimidated by the woman before us. She stared at me and began her epic walled-eye pouting manoeuvre. “Scales! Feed him a proper meal!” Must… not… give in… to the cuteness!

“I can’t, I don’t have a spoons.”

“Well then, buy some more.”

I can’t resist any longer!!! “Fine” I hang my head in defeat.

She gave a triumphant smile. “Good. I have to deliver the rest of my mail. I want you to give Draco a decent meal or you’ll be sorry.” I wasn’t intimidated this time because she still had the pout on. She turns to face Draco. “Bye Draco.”

Draco had a look of satisfaction on his face. “Farewell, Ditzy.”

And without saying good bye to me, she was off. I stared at her as she flew away, she grey wings flapping gracefully in the air. I let out a sigh. “You win this time. What do you want?”

“Ham and sapphires.” he said with a smug look on his face.

“We don’t have either.” We actually had ham but that was my ham. Nobody touches my ham. “How about steak and rubies?”

“I desire pig.”

“And I don’t give a damn. You’re getting steak and rubies.” I walked inside the house before he could say anything else. I put on my apron and headed to the kitchen.

I walked back outside to Draco, holding a plate of beef and red gems. As I approached Draco, his eyes grew wide at the well prepared meal before him. He licked his lips in preparation for his first real meal. And might I add that since I’m dealing with a dragon here, I had to use the biggest piece of steak in the fridge. I was saving it for a special occasion, but now I have to feed it to this lizard. At least it wasn’t my ham. I fucking love ham.

“Bottoms up!” I shouted as I tossed the plate to Draco like a Frisbee. He caught it with his mouth and began to chow down on my china. I stopped caring. I don’t even use plates.

I retreated to the inside of my house as the reptile fed. I took two steps inside the house before it hit me. “I’m so bored!” I yelled as I plopped down on the couch in the living room. What day is it? I attempted to use my super awesome seeing powers to look at the calendar on the wall on the other side of the house. It was just then that I realized that I don’t have super awesome seeing powers. I got up from the couch with a moan and walked over to the calendar. October 24th. Something itched at the back of my brain. I can’t help but feel I’m forgetting something… Whatever.

I plopped down on the couch again. What time is it? I look at the clock conveniently placed on the night stand beside me. One o’clock. That means nap time. I was tired. Dealing with Draco always made me tired. He was exhausting. I close my eyes and let my mind wander.

Then I remembered what it was I forgot. I bolt up from the ever so comfy sofa. “It’s Ditzy’s birthday in two days!” I facepalm myself as I had totally forgot all about it. I stood up from the couch and started pacing the room. “Shitshitshitshitshitshit,” tumbled out of my mouth. “Oh no, what am I going to do? I don’t have anything planned. C’mon, Scales think.” I paced and thought and paced and thought, thinking of what the hell I was going to do for my Ditzy’s birthday.

Two hours later and I had finally come up with a plan. I was going to throw Ditzy a surprise party at her house with her friends. I only know of Carrot Top but I’m sure there’s more.

I rushed into the back yard where the satisfied red, winged beast lies. Fuck him, I’m gonna ride my ostrich. I opened up the stable doors to see my scared, feathered friend. I approached Wolfgang cautiously so as not to frighten him anymore. “Calm down boy. He’s not gonna hurt you.” I stared into his eyes. He seemed to have loosened up knowing that I wasn‘t afraid. “Good boy.” I say calmingly. I jump on top on his shoulders and off we rode into town. Still no fucks given about Draco.

First thing I have planned for Ditzy’s birthday is a muffin. Not just any muffin. A big birthday muffin, baked by Pinkie Pie. I arrived at Sugar Cube Corner with a lot of attention drawn to me. I heard people whispering about how weird I looked riding an ostrich. Chill out people. You have a store that sells nothing but ostrich shit, this can’t be the first time you’ve seen someone riding an ostrich.

I tied the reins attached to Wolfgang to the side of the building. I pushed open the doors to the bakery dramatically, causing a loud bang when the door hit the wall. All eyes were on me. I made my entrance way too dramatic and decided to keep the rest of my visit low profile.

I closed the door gently and made my way to the register where, surprisingly, no one was there. I leaned over the counter to see if anyone, specifically Pinkie, was behind it. Coast clear. I looked down at the counter top to see the hardest challenge of the day; a bell. I put my hand over it, ready to push down on it. Just one tap. No more. My hands started to shake. My palm became sweaty. Before I fainted from the pressure, I tapped the bell… twice. Two consecutive rings echoed through the building.

Then, as expected, the cotton candy haired girl popped out from behind the counter, which had no one behind it previously. “Hey Scales,” greeted Pinkie. “How are you doing today? No, wait! Let me guess.”

“Pinkie, are we really-”

“Good?” she interrupted.

“So we are.”

“Spectacular!?”

“Pinkie, I-”

“Depressed?” A frown appeared on her face.

“No, I need-”

Smile’s back. “Stupendous?!”

“Please listen to me-”

“Fantabulicious!”

“Yes!” I snapped. “My day is fantabulicious, Pinkie! Absolutely greatacular! Can I please order now?”

“Sure, what do you need?” she said with a smile. This girl.

I got myself together and said “I need a muffin the size of a birthday cake.”

Her eyes grew wide. “A muffin the size of a birthday cake!?” She let out a small squee and became all giddy. “Ooh! Can I guess what for?”

OH SWEET CELESTIA NO!!!

“Is it for Ditzy’s birthday-”

“Yes!” I said as soon as she finished her sentence. I didn’t realize that she was actually correct. I just didn’t want any more guessing.

“Aww. How sweet.” She stuck out her hand with a smile. “That will be five bits please.” Dat smile. I gladly handed her the bits. Pinkie put the bits into the register and walked behind the door that led to the kitchen.

I sat by the windows, waiting for the Muffin Cake to be completed. I was sitting for what felt like hours and the only conversation I had was when Pinkie popped her head out to ask me what kind of muffin it should be. “Blueberry.” If I remembered correctly, her favourite kind of muffin is blueberry.

I considered dozing off when the bell above the door rang.

“Hello!” shouted the familiar voice of Ditzy. I jumped at the sound.

Shit! Gotta hide. If Ditzy saw me here, she’d get suspicious. I did the only thing I could do in this situation and opened up a menu to hide my face. A few seconds later, I heard the bell ring and the door of the kitchen opening and closing.

“Hi Pinkie.” Ditzy began. “Can I have a dozen of muffins?”

“Sure thing, Ditzy.” Pinkie replied cheerily. “You can wait right over there next to…” She scanned the tables looking for me. I raised my head from the menu, clenched my teeth, and brought my hand across my neck, the universal sign of “Stop talking; I‘m not here“.

“Scales,” she finished, pointing her finger at me. I gave Pinkie the universal sign of “What the fuck?”, before I turned it into a smile and a wave to greet Ditzy’s wandering eyes… well, one of them met me. The other still wandered but it was adorable so it’s all good.

Her face seemed to brighten up at the sight of me. “Hi, Scales!” She waved. She ran up to my table and took the chair next to mine. “What are you doing here?” Her smile quickly turned into a pout. “You better have fed Draco properly.” Her pouts could make a manticore stop in in its tracks and act like a kitty.

“I fed him properly, don’t you worry.”

Her pout went back to a smile. “Good. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Ooh, ooh! I know!” Pinkie shouted from the other side of the bakery. I eyed her daggers hoping she would get the message. She didn‘t. “He’s here to-” A zipper formed around her mouth and closed shut. I wonder how that happened?

“Order cookies.” I finished for Pinkie. “I had an urge so I came here.”

“No.” Pinkie somehow undid the zipper. “You ordered-”

“Speaking of my order,” I said as loud as I can. “Don’t you think you should be preparing it?” I eyed her more daggers.

“Oh. You’re right.” Pinkie said with a smile, still oblivious to my eye daggers, and returned to the kitchen.

Ditzy was now eyeing me daggers. “Are you sure you’re getting cookies?”

“Yeah, pretty sure.” My voice cracked a little and I started to sweat. Ditzy continued to stare at me. I was going to break any second. I wish Pinkie could be done now.

Celestia answered my prayer. Even though it’s only been ten seconds, Pinkie exited the kitchen door with a box with my name on it. “Scales! Your order is done.” With that, I quickly got up from my seat and walked to the counter, freeing myself from Ditzy’s gaze.

I took the box from Pinkie, leaned in close, and whispered, “I’m going to throw Ditzy a surprise party, so ietquay aboutway ethay uffinmay akecay.” I really hope she understands Pig Latin.

To my surprise, she gave me a nod and said “Understood.”

I nod and turn to face Ditzy. “Well Ditzy, it’s been fun talking but I need to return home now.” I head for the door. “See ya tomorrow.” I quickly dash-walked to the door but was intercepted by a grey wing. Connected to the wing was Ditzy, still eyeing me.

“What in the box?” She demanded.

“Cookies. I thought we had this conversation.”

Ditzy walked in front of me and got into my personal space. She closed her eyes and began sniffing. “Really? Because it smells like…” After a few more sniff her eyes opened wide and a huge smile grew on her face. “Muffins!” She lunged at the box, but I was able to lift it into the air before she could grab it. She kept jumping and jumping. “C’mon! I just want one!” I levitated the box higher in the air. Ditzy was too short to reach it, no matter how high she jumped. The funny thing was I forgot she had wings. She flew up into the air and snatched the box from my magical grasps.

I grabbed the box back from out of her hands, which required some strength, might I add, and side stepped past her. “Well it’s been fun.” I walked out the door. “But duty calls.” A light flashed and I was home.

The quietness of the house was nice. I let out a sigh. That was close. I open the box to check on its contents. Inside the box was a giant muffin, with “Happy Birthday Ditzy” spelled out in blueberries, with a glorious aroma emanating from within. I could feel myself drooling a little. It was beautiful. I open the refrigerator door and place the box inside.

“Step one, complete.”

Author's Note: More seductive red text. This one took about... how long? Two weeks right? I got school and stuff so it will be a long time between chapters. Anyway, I was going to put all of Ditzy's birthday in this chapter but I decided that took too long. Next chapter should finish it though. Also, one last thing. In the comments, think of a pony who would be Ditzy's friend. I just need one. Thanks for f0xhole again for editing.

Chapter 8

The next day started the same as the last. Well, almost the same.

“You ate my plates!” I screamed at Draco.

“You don’t even use plates,” argued the dragon.

“I do use plates. When I have guests over. Now I can’t have guests over for dinner because I don’t have my fucking plates... or spoons!” I was really getting tired of this shtick. “Seriously, you don’t even fit though my door!” I threw my hands in the air. “I don’t have time for this. I need to get to the school house.” I turned to leave.

“Why are you going to the school?” asked Draco. A smirk formed on his snout. “Fail a grade?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Hardy har har. You’re so funny. By the way, when Ditzy comes over, tell her I’ll be taking Dinky home.”

Draco huffed. “Sure thing.”

I enjoyed my walk to the school house. Autumn is my favorite season. It was warm but a nip was in the air. The brown and yellow leaves complimented the walkways nicely. It was times like these, that I felt true serenity.

It was around eleven o’clock when I arrived at the school. Class was already in session. I stood at the door of the school house, wondering what I should do. Perhaps I should come back later… nah. I slammed open the door, causing a loud boom to echo through the classroom.

“Greetings, small children!” The students looked at me. Half were caught off guard and jumped and the other half was excited. Then, they all let out cheers of joy for I, Scales the story teller, had returned.

I looked over to Cheerilee who was wearing an expression of displeasure. She was obviously upset that I had interrupted her class. She stared me down.

“You could always knock, you know.”

I tapped a fist on the chalkboard. “Knock, knock.” Her stare got more intense. “Aw, c’mon now. Don’t pretend you’re not happy to see me.” I wrapped my arm around her and brought her close.

“I would be,” she began, unwrapping my arm from her. “if you didn’t interrupt my class. Knocking is one thing but barging in is another.” She crossed her arms as her eyes burned a hole through me.

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry,” I apologized. “What was this classroom full of bright minds learning before I so rudely barged in?”

Miss Cheerilee resumed her spot at the side of the chalkboard. “Math.”

“Aw, I love math.” Math was always easy for me. I might have had trouble with most subjects in school, but math was not one of them. “Ask me a question.”

It might have just been my imagination, but I thought I saw her get a devilish smile. “What’s 34 times 4?”

Easy. “136.” I replied almost instantly. The class let out a barrage of ‘ooh’s.

“56 times 12?”

“672.” Again, instantly.

“756 times 234?” Her voice became sterner.

War is it? “176904.”

“78 divided by 94?”

“0.82979, rounded.”

“What’s the circumference of a circle whose radius is 34.7 inches?”

“217.916 inches.” She let out an audible growl of agitation and turned away. I took satisfaction from the look of defeat that had taken over her face. She gave up and I won this battle of brains. The class was left with their jaws on the ground. They had no clue if I was right or wrong, but judging by the look of the teacher, I was right.

I was indulging in my victory, when I notice Cheerilee’s face went from defeat to a smile. “What does mitochondria do in a cell?”

Clever girl. Math: easy as pi, literally. Any other subject: wat?

I squint at her. “You win this round.” The class lets out a small laugh, the kind of laugh you laugh when someone you love tells a really unfunny joke and you want them to know it was bad but still be nice. That laugh. Probably because they didn’t know what mitochondria was either.

“So,” I began, admitting my defeat. “Sorry for interrupting your class.” I walked to an empty desk in the back and tried to fit myself into it. “Please, by all means, go on with lesson.” I gave Cheerilee a smug look. She returns it with a smug look of her own and continues teaching the class basic multiplication.

What a wonderful day at school. I answered most of the questions, I won at dodge ball at recess (not really, that would have been just cruel), and I made a thing in art. Were she here, my mom would be proud.

The school day had come to an end for the children and the parents were outside, taking their kids home. I approached Dinky on her way out. “Hey, Dinky.”

Dinky turned around and gave me the most adorable smile. “Hello, Mister Scales.” She was wearing a pink t-shirt and denim shorts. She was adorable and I still need to buy a thesaurus so I can stop saying adorable. “Class was fun today.”

“I’m sure it was.” I squatted down to her height and rubbed her hair. “Guess what Dinky? I need your help with a very important, very secret mission. Think you can help me?”

Dinky stands at attention and gives me a salute. “Aye, aye, captain.” She obviously takes after her mother.

“Good. As you know, your mother’s birthday is tomorrow. I plan on throwing her a surprise party.”

“A surprise party?!” she said out loud.

I put a finger over my lips and hush her, as to remain in character. “Quiet, small child!” I say in a hushed tone. I looked left, then right. “Yes. I need you for two things. One, making sure your mom doesn’t come home tomorrow before six o’clock; and two, helping invite your mom’s friends. So, can you help me?” She gives me a small nod. “Good.” I really didn’t need Dinky for anything. I just wanted to spend time with her. I lift Dinky up and place her on my shoulders. “Now, off to the shopping district!” With that, we started for the shopping district at a brisk pace.

The streets of the shopping district were flooded with people. The adults were in front of the stands, buying food for their families, while the kids, fresh out of school, browsed the insides of stores, the candy store in particular. Everyone seemed so busy.

Dinky gazed at all the people from above my shoulders. She would occasionally spot someone she found interesting and when we passed him or her, she would attempt to turn to continue staring at them, resulting in her almost losing her balance.

I searched for the stands for the carrot vender. It wasn’t long before I found a sign with a picture of carrots on it. Underneath was the orange haired maiden, Carrot Top. Maneuvering through the crowd of people, I approached the stand. “Carrot!” I called out.

Carrot Top turned to my voice. When she saw that it was me and Dinky, she gave a smile. “Hello, Scales. Hello, Dinky.”

Dinky waved to Carrot Top. “Hello, Auntie Carrot.” Aww, how precious. She calls her ‘Auntie Carrot.’

“Sup, Carrot. I would like to invite you to Dizty’s surprise birthday party tomorrow.”

She seemed a bit caught off guard by the question, but it didn’t last long. “Sure, I’d love to.”

A smile grew on mine and Dinky’s face. “Great!” I replied. “I actually need you to help Dinky make sure she doesn't get home before six. Think you can handle that?”

“Okay.”

“Great again. One more thing, the only one of her friends I know is you. Do you know who else she’s friends with?” I felt kind of embarrassed asking her this.

“Well, believe it or not, Ditzy doesn’t have many friends.” Aww. “It’s really only me and Vinyl .”

Vinyl… Where have I heard that name before? “Thanks.” I replied. “Where can I find this Vinyl?”

Fucking Vinyl’s house. Being so damn hard to find. It took approximately 45 minutes to find it. It was right down the street from Ditzy’s house. Carrot Top didn’t have to give me all these complex directions. ‘Two miles down this road then take a left. Then go one and a half miles until you reach the blah blah blah.’ ‘A block north from Ditzy’s house.’ How hard is it to say that? Dinky and I were lost right at the first turn.

Anyway, currently I’m standing in front of Vinyl’s house, Dinky standing next to me, holding my hand. I hear the sound of a cello from inside. It sounded wonderful. From the sounds of it, whoever was playing it must have some skill with it. I could sit here for hours and listen.

Regretfully, I had to knock on the door, causing the music to end. Opening the door was a woman with tidy, black hair wearing a grey undershirt. “Hello,” she began. I sensed a slight Trottingham accent. “Can I help you?” She spoke poise and grace. She was obviously a member of high society.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hello, Auntie Octavia,” Dinky says with a smile to the woman.

Octavia leaned down to Dinky’s height and smiled. “Hello, Dinky. How are you doing today?”

“I’m fine. Mister Scales came to my class today and everyone had a lot of fun.”

“Well, that’s lovely.“ Octavia stood back up, met my gaze, and extended her hand towards me. “And you must be Mister Scales.” She wore one white glove on her hand, I assume for the cello that I heard. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

I grabbed her extended hand and shook. “Likewise.”

“So,” she began again. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yes, actually. I’m looking for a Vinyl. Is she here?”

“Yes, she is. I’ll go get her for you. One moment please.” Octavia closed the door silently. Seconds later, shouting came from inside
.

“Vinyl! You have visitors!”

“Tell ‘em to wait! I’m naked!” replied a voice originating from upstairs. Dinky and I shared a quick giggle.

A few more seconds later, Octavia opened the door again. “I’m sorry but she needs to get dressed. Would you care to wait inside?”

“Why, I would love to.” Still holding Dinky’s hand, I follow her to the living room of the house. It was neat and tidy. A nice glass coffee table sits in front of a brown leather couch, with a TV directly across from it. Expensive looking paintings line the walls. In the center of the living room was a stool and cello. This house seemed to be rather well kept.

Octavia grabs the bow on the coffee table and resumes her spot on the stool. “Tell me, Scales, do you enjoy classical music?”

Dinky and I take a seat on the sofa as I form an answer. “I do enjoy classical music. Although rock is my favorite genre, my favorite subgenre is orchestral rock. Something about a chorus of string and percussion instruments brings me…” It takes me a moment to come up with the right words. “…A calming euphoria.”

Although she was caught off guard at first, the smile regrew on Octavia’s face. “In that case, I hope you don’t mind if I practice while you wait.”

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t.” With that, Octavia drew the bow across the strings of the cello. The sounds that resulted were splendid.

Oh, the music thine ears are hearing. Such serenity, such beauty. What lyre could create such a sound? Each note that hops off the strings tantalizes me and leaves me wanting more. This melody is fit for the gods.

Time flew as the cellist played her instrument. As she played I noticed how much she got into it. She seemed to move with the music. When the song was finally over, she turned to her audience of two. “What did you think?”

I stood up from the couch and gave a round of applause as I shouted out words that could describe her performance. “Gorgeous! Amazing! Wonderful! Splendid! Splendorous, even! You, miss, have a talent with that cello that no one could ever think of surpassing!”

Encouraged by my enthusiasm, Dinky began clapping as well. “I liked it too.”

Octavia began to blush as she was swept with compliments. “Please, you’re too kind.” She gave us a little bow and began to return her instrument to its stand.

“Great, isn’t she?” The three of us turn to the stairs to see a woman with electric hair walking down them. She wore a white tank top, unbuttoned short shorts, and the most dazzling purple glasses I have ever seen. In her hand was a beer. “Not as great as me, but still great.”

As she descended down the stairs, chugging a cold one, my mouth descended along with her. In front of me, was the one, the only, Vinyl Scratch, aka DJ PON-3. She was famous throughout Equestria for being the best DJ and maker of electronic music and dubstep. I had to use all my strength to not go into a fit of excitement. She finished her beer and attempted a free throw at the trash can on the other side of the room. She made it.

“Hi, Auntie Vinyl!” Dinky ran to Vinyl as she reached the bottom of the stairs and gave her a hug.

“Hey, Squirt. It’s been awhile.” Vinyl returned Dinky’s hug. I couldn’t help but let out a ‘d’aww’ at the sight before me. Cute little Dinky had that effect on everything. That ‘d’aww’ brought all eyes on me. “Who’s the cutie?”

Holy fuck, Vinyl Scratch thinks I’m cute! Keep calm, Scales. Don’t embarrass yourself. I greet Vinyl with a wave. “Yo. My name is Golden Scale.” Although I couldn’t see her eyes, I could feel them looking me over. I honestly felt violated. “I came here to ask you something.”

“And would that be to go on a date?” she said in a seductive tone, with a seductive smile, as she seductively walked towards me.

Holy double fuck! Vinyl Scratch is seductively hitting on me! Fuck, I have a girlfriend that I love with a passion and could never think of cheating on. “As much as I would love to, I’m taken,” I say with a forced smile.

The DJ’s smile went away. “Bummer,” she said with less enthusiasm.

Disappointment and regret filled my brain for a moment before I got back on track. “I’m actually here to invite you to Ditzy’s surprise birthday party.”

“Oh yeah, her birthday is tomorrow, isn’t it?” she said, walking past me. Awkward silence. “She your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm,” Vinyl shrugged.

Awkward silence ensues. Vinyl walks into the kitchen and grabs another beer. I stare at her, still waiting for an answer. “So?”

“’So’ what?”

“So are you coming?”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Vinyl said slightly irritably. Her tone of voice gives me a frown. For that short, glimmering moment, I was found attractive by a celebrity.

“Alrighty then, be at her house around five thirtyish tomorrow.” I attempted to put on a enthusiastic voice.

“Yeah, sure,” Vinyl said nonchalantly, taking a sip from her can.

I was about to bid my farewell when I realized something. “How rude of me.” I turned around to face the other musician. “I never invited you Octavia. Would you care to join us for Ditzy’s surprise?”

Octavia wore a nervous smile as she shook her head. “I would love to, but I need to practice and I have a performance tomorrow.” I could sense that she didn’t want to go for another reason, but I need to get Dinky home.

“Aww. Too bad.” I turn to face the door. “Well, it’s getting late and I need to get this little bundle of joy home.”

Dinky looked at me with saddened eyes. “Do we really have to go?” Her eyes were huge and shined like the stars. Her lower lip quivered.

My immunity to adorable puppy pouts has increased. “I’m sorry, but your mother is probably worried sick about you,” I said in a warm tone. “Say goodbye to your aunties and we’ll leave.”

She turns to face her two aunties and says in the never getting less adorable voice, “Bye Auntie Vinyl. Bye Auntie Octavia.” They wave us off as we proceed out of their house and down the street.

Arriving at the door of the Doo residence, I’m greeted with wood slammed into my face as the door slams open. The worried mother embraces her child. “Oh Dinky!” she screamed. “I was so worried! You weren’t home when I got here and I thought something horrible happened to you!” She wailed into her daughter’s shoulder hugging her tighter and tighter.

I was on the ground holding my bleeding nose and covering my mouth to prevent the tsunami of curse words from spewing out. Once Ditzy was done with her daughter, she stood over me with a stern expression. “Why didn’t you take Dinky home after school?”

Well, at least Draco told her I picked her up. Lifting myself off the ground, I replied, “I wanted to spend time with Dinky, so I took her to the park.” Dinky looked at me confused. I gave her a wink, indicating for her to just roll with it.

“Yeah, we went to the park and we had tons of fun.” She gave her mom a smile. Thankfully, Ditzy wasn’t able to see through our ruse. “Fine, but next time, Dinky must be home before four thirty. Got it?”

Her serious face is also her cute face. “Guard’s honor,” I say putting a hand over my heart and another hand in the air.

I looked into her eyes with a smile. This results in her blushing. She looks away with a “You better.” Ditzy escorts Dinky inside, and closes the door, without even as much as a goodbye.

I guess I deserved it. Walking down the street back into the direction of the shopping district once again, I gave myself a pat on the back. Step two, complete.

I arrived at my house and dinner was already served. Ham, corn, and potatoes for me and a large pork chop and emeralds for the dragon.

The only two things left to do for Ditzy’s surprise birthday party were setting it up and getting her gift. Setting it up would be for tomorrow and I already had an idea for a gift. One night, while watching the science channel; or was it the animal channel? Meh. I was watching one of those channels and found out that when a dragon scale is dipped in this certain chemical, called glowicerin I think, it glows a beautiful light show. What a perfect gift for a love one. Except a scale is so boring. What isn’t boring is a rose. I went down to a crafting store in the shopping district and bought a jug of that chemical and a whittling kit. I’m going to ask for, if need be take, some scales from Draco and carve them into three roses, that I will then dip in glowicerin so they’ll glow.

“Hey, Draco,” I say in a friendly voice. “I just wanted to let you know what an awesome time it’s been having you here and-”

“What do you need?” he cut-off mid compliment.

“About five red scales and three white ones.”

Draco lets out a hardy laugh. Were anybody nearby, my neighbors would be alarmed. “And why should I give you my scales?”

“Because I need them to make Ditzy a birthday gift.”

“Why don’t you just buy her something?”

I raised an eye brow. “Draco, tell me. When you love someone, someone you’re willing to sacrifice your life for, someone you’d give anything to be with, would you really be satisfied giving her a twenty bit ring for her birthday?”

Draco remained silent for a few seconds until answering. “What do you plan on doing with them?”

“I plan on sculpting them into roses and dousing them in glowicerin.”

“Glowicerin? You bought glowicerin?”

“A jug of it.”

“That’s easily thirty bits.”

“Sixty-five.”

“Sixty-five bits!” Draco laughs at me. Just because he's a dragon doesn't mean he doesn't know the value of a bit. “Love certainly makes man do stupid things.” He continues to laugh and laugh. He occasionally lets out a snort and flames come out. “Fine,” he finally says. “They’re plentiful around the tail.”

I give him the biggest smile a man could manage. “Thanks, Draco.” I walk to the reptile’s rear and pick the scales required. He lets out an “Ow,” every time one is picked.

Once I picked the scales required to make the roses, I thanked Draco again and returned inside. Time: 7:00. That leaves about five hours until I need to go to bed. I set the scales down on the coffee table in the living room, grabbed a soda from the refrigerator, and got to work on carving the scales.

Piece by piece, I whittled the red scales down into petals. Once all the petals were carved, I used a blow torch that I had also bought from the crafting store to weld them together. Surprisingly, dragon scales are very similar to metals in the fact that they weld. After the buds were complete, I got work on the stems. I took a silver scale and began to carve out thin lengths of it. I welded them onto the stem and used what was left of the scale for the leaves. I welded the buds on top, and voila! The roses were done!

I wanted to save the finale for the party but I also wanted to see a small preview. I took a toothpick and dipped it into the glowicerin. I held the toothpick over a rose and waited for a droplet to fall. When it did, well, it was all I needed to see. The petal, from that small amount began to glow radically. It shone brightly, enveloping me in its glow. It was truly, one of the most beautiful sights that I would hold dear. Then again, this was just a petal. The whole thing is bound to be better.

At that point, an extreme state of exhaustion had swept through me. I looked at the clock to see what time it was-11:43. Time for bed. I walked into my bed room, lay down on my bed, and simply passed out.

Birds chirped their melody outside my window. I slowly opened my eyes, and then shut them again. The sun, yet again, was getting me right in my eyes. Dammit Celestia, can’t a man sleep in on a Saturday?… Saturday. I bolted from my bed and checked the calendar. October 26. Ditzy’s birthday. Time. From the calendar, I dashed over to the clock. 11:16. I let out a sigh. I had feared that I might not have time to set up decorations.

I entered the living room to watch TV to pass the time until I got the call from Carrot Top stating that Ditzy is out of the house. I examined my roses, making sure they’re still perfect. The glowing petal was no longer glowing and they looked as they did the night before.

I sat down on the couch and flipped through the channels.

It was around 4:00 p.m. when my cell phone rang. It was a text from the ginger haired woman.

“Cargo is out of the storage bay. Repeat, cargo is out of the storage bay.”

I frowned at the text. Ditzy is not cargo. She is Ditzy. Anyway, I waited a couple minutes before I teleported into the Doo home, just to make sure that they’re gone.

With a bag of party supplies, given to me by Pinkie, I began to plan out where I would place everything. I’ll place some streamers above the doorway and along the walls. Have these little dangling things all across the ceiling. I need to angle the ‘Happy Birthday’ sign evenly with the door, and…

An hour and a half later, all decoration were hung and ready for… looking pretty. After making sure everything was in order, I teleported back to my house to get la pièce of résistance. The muffin cake. I walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door.

There, sitting where I left it, was the box containing the masterpiece. Ready to leave and double check everything before the party, I grabbed the box and… the box is light. It weighed more last time. Opening the box, I found nothing to be inside. Where’s the muffin cake? I toss the box to the side and begin frantically searching through the fridge. WHERE’S THE MUFFIN CAKE?!

I stop in my tracks. Only one other person could have possibly been in this household besides me. “DRACO!!!” I shout at the top of my lungs. I storm outside to the dragon napping ever so peacefully in my backyard.

He opens one eye, acknowledges my existence, and then closes it again. “Yes?” he says groggily.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MUFFIN CAKE?!” I scream.

“You mean that dragon sized muffin you had in your fridge? I ate it.”

“WHY?! I FED YOU PROPERLY! I GAVE YOU FOOD! WHY IN EQUESTRIA WOULD YOU EAT IT?!”

He stares at me for a few moments. “I was hungry.”

My eye twitched. “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I had no time for this. I had to make another muffin cake. I flashed myself back into Ditzy’s house, in her kitchen to be precise. I wrapped an apron around my waist as I searched for a bowl to mix the batter.

I found a large enough bowl and place it on the counter. I placed a stick of butter in the microwave, while I mix flour, baking soda, and salt in the bowl. I set the oven to preheat at 400 degrees. A levitating bowl was having eggs beaten when a ding came from the microwave. I took the butter out and let it set. Vanilla, milk, sugar, and a little bit of melted butter are added to the eggs. Then more butter. Then the rest of it. I pour the liquid mixture into the powder mixture and begin to beat it. Did I mention I was cursing at Draco the entire time? Because I was.

I was so distracted by my cursing that I didn’t notice the DJ standing outside the kitchen. “Yo,” Vinyl says with a small satisfaction in her voice. Probably from seeing me work like a dog.

“’sup,” I say with clear agitation in mine.

“Whoa, what’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Dragons are what have my panties in a twist.”

“Dragons?”

“Exactly.” Once my batter was all nice and batter-y, I searched through the cupboards for a cake pan. After tossing, nearly twenty muffin pans out of the way, I finally found one. I pour the batter into the pan and put it the oven.

“There,” I said triumphantly. “All that’s left is to wait for it to bake.”

Vinyl lets out a small chuckle. “What about the blueberries?”

Fuck, I didn’t put blueberries in! Without thinking, I quickly grab the tray in the oven. That’s when I learned metal heats up fast. I pulled it out of the oven but the searing pain of hot metal mad me retract my hand. The tray went with it. It flew across the kitchen landing on who else but Vinyl. Batter dripped down her through her hair and down her face. I feel the anger radiating off her. “What the hell was that for?!”

I recoil from her shout. “It was an accident.”

She puts her hand on her hair and looks at the batter on her hand. “It all over me!”

Right now, I’m trying my best not to laugh. “I’m so sorry.” I snicker sneaks out.

I could feel her eyeing daggers at me through her glasses. She lets out a sigh of agitation when an “Ahem,” come from behind us. Standing at the entry way to the kitchen, was Ditzy, Dinky, and Carrot Top, each with a shocked expression on their face.

Awkward silence. I point a finger at the confetti cannons and fire a quick magic bullet. Confetti fires and I yell “Surprise!” Awkward silence continues. Way to go, Scales.

The party went better than expected in the end. We made an express call to Sugar Cube Corner and Pinkie delivered some muffins. Vinyl was able to use Ditzy’s shower to get the batter out of her hair and the rest of the night was spent talking. Everybody told stories and jokes. It was a great night.

Vinyl got Ditzy her newest album before it came out in retail stores. Carrot got her a pair of muffin ear rings. Dinky got her mother a card.

Currently, Vinyl and Carrot have left and Dinky is being tucked into bed. As Ditzy exited her daughter’s room, she sat down next to me on her couch. She latches on to my arm and says “Thank you for such a fun birthday party. It was the best I ever had.”

“Even though it was a complete disaster?”

“It wasn’t a disaster.” She leaned her head on my shoulder. “It’s the best gift I could have asked for.”

“Oh, that wasn’t your birthday present.” I lift myself from the couch.

“It’s not?”

“Hold on for one second.” With a flash I was gone. With another flash, I was back with a vase holding the three roses.

Her eyes get wide at the sight of them. She grabs a rose and brings it close to her face. “It’s beautiful.”

I hand her the vase and tell her, “One more second.” I do my disappearing and reappearing act once more. This time I reappear with a beaker of glowicerin. “Ditzy, may I see the vase?” She hands me the vase and I set it down on the table. I turn off the lights; I sit back down next to Ditzy and pour the glowicerin over the roses. They begin to light up the room. Auroras of red and silver emitted from the roses. Red slivers of light cover the room. It was as though the sun was reflecting off a red sea.

Ditzy was left with her mouth agape. Her eyes wandered the room in different directions, taking in the beautiful scene that lay before her. Without warning, she pounced on me, wrapping her arms around me.

“Thank you!” she said through tears. I did the only thing I could do and wrapped my arms around her. There we lay in each other's embrace.

When she finally raises her head from my chest, she stares in to my eyes, and I into hers. They captivated me. Enticed me. I could stare into them until the end of time. The red light shined on her face, covering her in even more beauty. Her hair dropped over me. It smelled like, what else but muffins. Then, we both lean in, close our eyes, and our lips meet. At that moment, my body was flooded with a warmth I never felt before. Her lips were as soft and smooth as real roses. The warmth of her breath felt right.

So there we lay, in each other's embrace, kissing passionately. Times like these are the times I wish would never end. Unfortunately, it had to as she broke the kiss. She rested her forehead against mine and whispered, “You’re the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.”

With a smile on my face, I whispered “And you’re the best girlfriend anyone could ask for.”

Author's Note: The words have been doubled! Also calming green text. This might be my last chapter for a while, not a hiatus thing. I know the general idea of whats going to happen but I don't know about the rest. Also the math question with the radius, I used 3.14 for pi. Anyway, thanks f0xhole for editing and thank you for reading.

Chapter 9

It was a dark night. Heavy rainclouds hung in the sky, blocking the light of the moon and stars. Using the patter of the rain and hail hitting the window of the warehouse to muffle my movement, I crept through the building.

One of the members of the Guard had gotten word that a suspicious looking man had been seen entering Warehouse 2B, near the sky docks. Several minutes later, word came in that a body was found two blocks from the warehouse. The way the body was found left only one suspect: Slurry Slaughter.

Slurry Slaughter, the notorious serial killer, was wanted for the crime of murder on 58 accounts over the course of fifteen years. He is active only at night. He kills his victims, one or two at a time, by sneaking up from behind and slashing the back of their head. He then proceeds to continues slashing until the corpse is barely recognizable. I should know. After all, he murdered my parents right in front of me.

It was fifteen years ago. I was only ten at the time. My parents took me see a play at the local theater. We were walking home, happy as any other family. The lampposts lit the sidewalks; it was any other night in Canterlot. I was in between my mom and dad, holding their hands. I was just walking, smiling, until Dad fell to his knees, then to the ground, blood spewing from the sliver on the back of his head. Not entirely sure of what just happened, Mom and I turned around to find a man hidden in a trench coat holding a bloody cleaver, which soon found its way in between my mother's eyes.

I grasped what had just happened as my mom's body fell with a thud. My eyes grew wide and my legs went limp. I fell back and began to pull myself away from the man. He paid me no mind as he leaned over the two corpses in front of him. He raised his cleaver into the air and brought it down on my father. He raised it again and brought it down on my mother. He just started slashing and stabbing my parents' bodies in front of me, and all I did was watch. I was too scared to move. My mind kept shouting, "Do something!", but my body wouldn't listen. I just sat there, staring.

Then, the man got up, standing over the bodies of the people who once resembled my mother and father. He stared at me. His eyes. Those reptilian eyes just bore a hole through me. He smiled a wicked smirk and laughed his maniacal cackle. Then, he vanished into the night.

That was when I had the power to move. That was when I cried. That was when I mourned for the dead. That was when a fire of anger swept through me. I had a hatred. A hatred for that psychopath and a hatred for myself. I was too weak or scared to do anything and because of that my parents were dead.

Vengeance was what kept me going through all those years. I was depressed. I was alone. Where ever I was, everyone was condescending. I was so lonely. Every thought of cutting myself, every thought of ending it all was immediately halted by the thought of those reptilian eyes and how I wanted to see them lifeless. Finally, I was about to see get my wish.

I crouched behind boxes and crates, keeping an eye out for him. The warehouse seemed lifeless, but I knew he was in here, hiding, waiting for me. It didn't take long to find him. As I reached the center of the warehouse, a light turned on, revealing a man in a trench coat, holding a cleaver stained with the blood of many innocents.

"Well, you found me," the man said. Just hearing him speak made me want to decapitate him. I could hear the insanity in his voice. "How long has it been? Fifteen years?"

I drew Equality from its sheath. "You remember me?" I questioned.

Slaughter grew a grin. "Oh, how could I forget you? You were the boy from the night I began." Memories of that night rushed through my head. "You, mommy, and daddy were having such a great time at the playhouse."

"Shut up," I demanded.

He ignored me and kept going. "I saw the three of you walking home, a smile plastered on each of your faces, and thought 'Why do they get to be the ones having all the fun?'"

"Shut up!" I demanded again, louder.

"You wanna know what I find fun? Cutting meat. I was a butcher before all of this. The sound of this cleaver tearing through flesh always gave me a thrill. But that night I thought 'Would it not be more satisfying to chop up living flesh?' So, I found out." He licked his lips as the smile on his face grew even wider. "And it was even better than I imagined."

"I said SHUT UP!!!" I charged at him, sword ready to split his head in two. As I brought the sword down, he blocked it with his cleaver.

"Temper, temper," he taunted. He threw me back and we both took battle stances. "I've been watching you, you know. Ever since that fateful night, I watched you." We began circling each other. "I watched you turn from a little, timid boy into a grown man. Oh, yes; I know all about you. I know you even better than you know yourself."

With every word he spoke, the rage in me was growing faster and faster. "You know nothing about me!" I rushed him again, only for my attack to be blocked.

"I don't, do I? You say you want to help everyone. You say you hate to use violence, but whenever you do, you don't want to stop." His eyes stared through me. Those slits looking into my soul and being. "You say you hate being alone but you choose to spend most of your time in solitude."

"Shut up!" I put more force into my sword, bringing Slaughter to his knees.

"You say you fight for justice, but all you want is vengeance for you dead parents. But guess what. They're dead! And there's nothing you can do about!" He laughed his horrible cackle.

At this point, I wasn't angry. I was livid. I deliver swift knee to his face, and send him flying into a crate. Before he could get up, I charged ready to end it. As Equality swung down, no one was there.

A demented cackle came from behind. I turned ready to block, but he was fast. His cleaver sliced my back, sending a gruesome pain through my torso. As the cleaver came down for a second swipe, my sword was ready to block.

That smile. That fucking twisted smile. It mocked me. It taunted me with a life that was taken away from me. Slaughter knew what it was doing to me. It was making me angrier. It brought my rage to a boil. "Aw. Is poor Scaley-Waley all tuckered out? Maybe it's time for night-night?!" He brought the cleaver down on Equality. The clang of metal rang through the warehouse. Then again. Then again. He repeatedly struck my sword, bringing it closer and closer to my face. That's the first place he wanted that knife to tear through, right between my eyes. Just like my mother.

With each strike, I was brought closer and closer to the ground until I was on my knees. Suddenly, his smile turns into a frown. "You know, you were something special." He said, disappointed. "I expected you to be the one to finally take me down. I guess I was wrong." His smile returned and he raised his cleaver slower than before, indicating that this would be his final strike.

Now.

Right before he brought down the blade, a wooden crate flew at him, breaking on impact and throwing him to the side. As he recovered from his daze, I walked up and put my foot over his chest. He noticed me in striking distance and swept his hand across my thigh. His eyes grew wide as he realized his cleaver wasn't in his hand. Slaughter tossed his head from side to side frantically, trying to locate his cleaver, only to find it on the ground, out of his reach. Coming to terms with his position he stopped struggling and stared at me. His eyes gazing into mine.

"Well, it seems I underestimated you." He began. "Congratulations. You have the notorious Slurry Slaughter under your foot. What do you plan to do now, Mister Scale?!"

"I'm going to kill you, rid this world of your presence, and avenge my parents." I brought the tip of my sword to his throat.

His grin reappeared. "Killing me won't bring them back, you know? Your parents are long since dead."

I grit my teeth. He won't let me leave without killing him for with pure vengeance. "I know. Your death may not bring them back, but it will sure make me feel better." I grab the handle of the sword, took a deep breath, and plunged the sword through the murderer's head, screaming. As the sword made contact with the bridge of his nose, my eyes shot open.

No longer was I in the warehouse. I was back in my bed, in my house, in Ponyville. My covers were soaked in sweat, and I hope nothing more. Breathing heavily, I take a moment and get out of bed. I walk into the bathroom and stare at myself through the mirror. Clumps of wet, blond hair stick to my forehead. My green eyes stared back at me through the mirror.

The memories of those nights rush through my head. The night I killed the man who killed my parents; and the night my parents died. The scar on my back begins to burn as the memories drift by.

Once they had all past, I gave myself a small chuckle. "A nightmare to start off Nightmare Night. Funny."

Happy Nightmare Night! My favorite holiday in my favorite month. As the moon rises and the sun sets, the children roam the street with costumes, going door to door, gathering candy to offer to the evil Nightmare Moon. Those who don't give up any candy are said to be visited by Nightmare Moon and eaten! That, and you get to scare everybody shitless.

Quick history lesson. Before Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, Nightmare Night was originally to praise the Princess of the Night. People held feasts in her honor and every year Luna would visit one lucky town. After she became Nightmare Moon, people started spreading rumors that if you don't leave candy to offer Nightmare Moon, she would eat you. Oh, those kids and their silly rumors.

Anyway, enough of the history lesson. On to how my day started.

Aside from the nightmare of my own, my day started off like any other. I took a shower. I ate breakfast. Draco ate another set of kitchen utensils. Any other day.

I had several costumes that I would like to wear picked out the night before, but I had trouble picking from those. Grim reaper? No, too grim. Skeleton? No, too overused. Werewolf? Nah, too furry. Sexy nurse? No, that outfit makes my butt look big. Headless horseman? Perfect.

Ah yes, the headless horseman. What a perfect fit for me. I even know an invisibility spell that I can cast on my head. The costume consisted of a black suit of armor, a black helmet with red lights where the eyes would be, and a plastic sword. Who knows what will happen if I brought my real sword to the school house? Oh, yeah, I plan on going to the school house and potentially scarring all of the children. Something about Nightmare Night makes me act more like a child.

I was only missing one thing. A horse. Thankfully, I have an ostrich and a transformation spell. Yay.

I made my way out to the stable where Wolfgang was sitting down, enjoying the morning. "Okay!" I shouted at the bird, startling it. "Who’s ready to scare a bunch of kids?" Wolfgang tilted his head slightly. "That's the spirit!" I clap my hands together and bright light flashes from Wolfgang. I could hear squawks that turned into neighs. Once the light dimmed away, standing where my feathery friend once was was a black, demonic looking stallion. The charred fur glistened in the light from the door. His eyes were glowing red. His hooves left a shadowy trail.

Wolfgang was eying me with displeasure. I could sense that he didn't like this sudden change in body. I remember when Wolfgang was a bird with a bird brain. Recently, however, he has been acting more... sapient, I think is the word. He's been showing more emotions and has been wanting more luxurious wants, like better food and a comfier bed. You wanna know how I know he wants better food and a comfier bed? He wrote it out. He wrote it out on the ground, using his beak like a pencil. I blame Draco.

I shrug at Wolfgang and hitch the saddle on to his back. Wolfgang got used to his new body pretty quickly. I got on the saddle and he was walking like he's been a horse his whole life. Smart ostrich, that Wolfgang.

So, here's what I plan to do. I'm going to basically summon myself at the front of the classroom of the schoolhouse on Wolfgang. There's gonna be weird hieroglyphic ritual circles and a dark purplish aurora spiralling around me. I will laugh manically, causing the students to be scared. Before several of them start crying, I will make it rain candy and everything will be great. I see no way in which this plan will fail or backfire. At all. I'm gonna give these kids the most memorable Nightmare Night ever.

"You ready?" I asked my once winged companion. Wolfgang huffs a cloud of smoke out of his nostrils. "Alrighty then!" I grab my helmet with red light eyes and snapped my fingers to do the starting off effect. I had no clue if the classroom was windy now, but I had to hope. I snapped my fingers again, activating summoning circle and spirals. I finally snapped my finger again, flashing myself into the classroom. I think as I was teleporting away, Draco yelled at me for something. But then again, I don't care for him.

Once my eyes quickly recovered from the flash, I saw scared children in costumes sitting in desks. Perfect. "Greetings, mortals." I began in the deepest most menacing voice I could muster. "I, the Headless Horseman, have come to wreak havoc on this village!" Everyone was now running to the back of the classroom, scared out of their minds. I began my evil laugh. "Mu-ah ha ha. Mu-ah ha ha ha ha ha! MU-AH HA HA- ow!" I had just been slapped in the back of the head with a ruler.

Cheerilee was standing behind me, tapping the ruler in her other hand. She was wearing a witch costume, but not the nose, thank Celestia. Her eyes showed obvious agitation, much like Wolfgang's when he transformed. "What do you think you're doing?" she said sternly.

The children looked at me questioningly now. An actor never breaks character. I leaned into Cheerilee's face. "You dare hit me, mortal?!" A thunderous roar swept the room and the students cowered to the back of the room again. "I am the Headless Horseman! You will bow down to me and all glor- ow! Stop that!" That ruler really hurts.

Her eyes still bore a hole through me. "Scales, what is the meaning of this?" Cheerilee asked without a change in tone. The students started murmuring to each other in a wave of confusion.

Well, there goes my cover. I let out a sigh and make my head reappear. "You didn't even let me get to the part where it rains candy." I said disappointed. That was going to be my favorite part. The children now were either angry that I scared them or let down that they didn't get any candy.

"You almost gave my class a heart attack. What made you think that this whole plot of yours was okay in the first place?"

Look at the teacher, asking all the questions. I put on a serious face as I got ready to give my answer. "Isn't it obvious?" I stand on top of Wolfgang and strike a dramatic pose. "It's Nightmare Night!" I said evilly, thunder booming in the room somehow. "The scariest night of the year! Ghosts and ghouls creep out from the shadows. The dead roam the earth once more. The monsters that lurk under your bed reveal themselves, all in the name of good fun and rich frights!" Wolfgang got tired of me standing on him stood on his two hind legs. Needless to say, I fell on my ass and the whole class laughs.

Cheerilee offers me a hand to help me up. I accept it. "You realized you could have scarred them, right?"

I, realizing the correct answer is also the wrong answer, changed the subject. And by "Changed the subject", I mean "Made it rain candy". All the kids screamed with joy as the delicious sweets fell from the ceiling. Cheerilee gave me a look of disapproval. I gave her a look of pleasure.

Wolfgang was already back at home and an ostrich again by the time Cheerilee started teaching her class again. I tried my best to make the day fun, but the teacher had other plans. Boring plans. Even though it was a holiday, she scheduled full classes. Recess was the only fun thing planned for today. They were learning about the origins of Nightmare Night when a scream came from outside. It went "The horror! The horror!" It sounded ridiculous the way she said it. This was quickly followed by more screams. Although it was probably someone’s prank, I, as a member of the Royal Guard, must check it out.

I exited the school house to find out I was wrong. It wasn't a prank. It was Draco. Draco was wandering through the nearby path that leads back to Ponyville. Everybody must have ran away at the sight of the huge, fire-breathing reptile.

"Draco?!" I shouted. He spots me and slithers his way towards me. He lands with a thud. "What are you doing here?" I ask. "You're supposed to be at home."

Draco huffed. "You made this 'Nightmare Night' sound intriguing. I wanted to join you." Draco looked behind at the now empty worn path. "You never told me where this school house was and the townsfolk don't seem to take the time to listen to my kind." I could still hear the screams of the citizens from here. Realizing what he did, I started laughing hysterically. "What do you find so funny?"

I wipe a tear from my eye as I form an answer. "You walked, all the way from my house to here through town?" I questioned. He gives me a nod and I burst out laughing again. Just the thought of everyone fleeing from Draco, the lazy dragon who has been eating me out of house and kitchen utensils, was enough to make almost any man laugh. "You probably scared every person in Ponyville! That, my friend, has been my very goal for Nightmare Night and you just accomplished it." I continue to laugh, Draco eying me curiously.

"Scales," Cheerilee began, opening the door. "Is everything alright?" Her eyes almost bulged out of her head. A vicious dragon was outside of her schoolhouse, and it was going to eat the children! "Dra-dra...drag-... dragon," she mumbled. Draco moved his eyes from me to her. This was too much for the poor witch, and she fainted.

I, in turn, began to laugh even harder, falling to the ground. "I... I can't-... breath! Ha ha!" My side began to hurt.

The students, worried about their only teacher, walked to door where Cheerilee lay. Now it's their turn to faint. I'm a bad person at times, but who wouldn't laugh at this. Surprisingly, none of them fainted. In fact, most of them ran up to Draco, completely astonished that in front of them was a dragon. Some of the kids were even trying to climb on top of him. I couldn't help but notice from my spot on the ground, that this one kid was taking pictures with his camera.

"Umm... Scales?" Draco asked through the awes of amazement coming from the mob of kids crowding around him. "I'm not very comfortable with this."

Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't let the children overthrow my reptilian friend, as funny as it would be to watch a four foot army overpower a fifty foot dragon. I raised myself from the ground and attempted to the attention of the children. "Settle down, everyone!" I was ignored. "Yo! Kids! Be quiet!" They were not listening to me in the slightest. They were too distracted by the appealing Draco. "I said BE QUIET!!!" I roared to the class. The ground shook under me and thunder rang from the sky. Everyone was now silent. All eyes were on me as I took control of the situation. "Okay, class. Since Miss Cheerilee is... busy, I will fill the role of teacher until she wakes up." Children cheer. It's a great feeling knowing the youth love you. "First off, I would like to introduce you all to my friend, Draco."

In unison, the class let out a "Hello, Draco."

"Greetings, young ones." Draco replied. Now that no one was trying to mount him, Draco seemed to have calmed down.

"Okay, so now that introductions are out of the way," I began, stepping carefully through the crowd of children. "Who wants to hear the story about how me and Draco met?" I took their cheers as a yes. "Well it all started during the dragon migration...."

I moved Cheerilee inside the school house while she was knocked out. She was out for a good few hours. There was only about an hour left of school when she came to. The class, Draco, and I spent that precious time goofing about. We played games, I told stories, and I even taught the kids about Nightmare Night, through the art of big movements and over exaggeration. That is how you get kids to learn. Make it entertaining. Cheerilee seemed to have grown up while I was away and forgot what was entertaining a kid.

Draco seemed to be enjoying himself as well. He even let the children ride him. I just gave those kids something to tell their grandchildren. "Grandpa, you're so boring." "Boring? When I was your age, I was riding dragons!" Instant awesome grandpa.

Anyway, when Cheerilee did wake up, I had to assure her that Draco was not a man-eating dragon and he is not going to devour anyone. Once she was convinced that Draco was okay, I escorted her outside to check on her class and she almost fainted again. I then had to reassure her that Draco will not eat the children riding him. When she was finally able to accept what was going on, she was able to approach her class once again. She was calm, cool, and collected. She was ready to take control of her class and reclaim her job as teacher...

Until I put a spider in her hair. Cheerilee screamed at the top of her lungs in fright. At first, I felt bad about what I was about to do, but that scream made it all worth it. It was almost high enough to break glass. Seriously, they could use it in movies. Cheerilee wasn't as happy as I was about the whole prank. Not at all. Her face was bursting with rage. She began to chase me with her broom.

"Help! Help! The Wicked Witch is after me!" I shouted between laughs. We ran through the maze of children in front of the school, Cheerilee swatting me with her broomstick, me laughing all the while.

I couldn't help but feel a child’s bliss and ignorance. Two childhood friends, all grown up, and still acting like they belong in a playground. We blended right in with the children around us.

It wasn't long before the parents arrived. Most of them freaked out when they saw their kids playing on a dragon. Instead of me having to deal with it, however, Draco spoke up with his calm deep voice that showed age and wisdom. "Stereotypes are a horrible thing to assume. A few of my kind terrorize you and you assume all of us are like that. Simply because I am a dragon does not mean I am not civilized. I thought your kind was better than that. I do not eat humans." That short speech was able to maintain the parents surprisingly. None of them accused him of lying or shrieked, running off with their child in hand. "Besides, humans taste horrible." He wore a devilish grin as the parents stepped back in fear.

I started laughing. "Now you're getting the hang of it," I said encouragingly, patting him on the back.

The kids waved goodbye to me and Draco as their parents quickly trotted them off to their homes. I was waving back when I felt a poking on my thigh. I looked down to see Dinky, wearing a fun-sized police uniform, complete with hat. Omaigosh! She's so adorable I could just eat her! Om nom nom nom!

"Hello, Scales," she says to me with a smile.

I'm no longer 'Mister Scales'. Yay, bonding! "And a 'hello' to you too, Dinky," I say, returning her smile. "I hope you enjoyed your day at school."

"I did. It was the best Nightmare Night ever, thanks to you and Draco." That made me feel all warm inside. "I'll never forget it." And now it was mush. That was what I was aiming for.

"Ah, but the night hasn't even come yet, my dear Dinky, and when it does, that is when the real fun and frights begins." I made my head disappear and made a creepy ‘Ooooooh’ sound. Dinky gives a little chuckle. I hear someone scoff behind. It was Draco. It completely skipped my mind that Dinky and Draco haven't met personally. "And how could I forget? Dinky, you already know Draco. Draco, this is Dinky, Ditzy's daughter."

Draco examined her with his big slitted eyes. "Your mother talks highly of you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." He gives her a scaly grin. She returned it with an adorable smile of her own.

I was about to offer Dinky a ride on Draco when an angelic voice sounded in the distance; and it was getting louder and louder. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY LITTLE MUFFIN!!!" With that, I was tackled to the ground. Sitting on my stomach, pounding my chest, with tears in her eyes was Ditzy. She was wrapped in what I hoped was gauze. I guess she was supposed to be a mummy. "Don't hurt my Dinky, you monster!"

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "I'm experiencing the most appropriate case of Déjà vu."

Upon hearing my voice she, she stopped beating me. "Scales?"

With a snap of my fingers, my head reappeared, baring a smile. "'ello, love." I said, with my best Trottingham accent.

"I'm so sorry," Ditzy began, guilt in her eyes. "I didn't mean to tackle you down like that. I thought you were a monster, I mean you didn't have a head or anything, so I just assumed-" I put a finger over Ditzy's mouth.

"It's fine. It'll take a lot more than a tackle to get me upset. Besides, your adorable face is more than enough of an apology." I give her my warmest grin. She blushed uncontrollably and gave me her own smile. We stared into each other’s eyes, no more words needing to be said. Well, aside from "You can get off me now." Realizing what she was sitting on, she quickly got up and offered me her hand. Gladly accepting it, I pulled myself up with gusto.

"Hi, Mommy." Dinky ran up to her mother and gave her a hug.

Ditzy returned it with a much tighter one. "Hello, Muffin!" You could almost hear the air being squeezed out of the little girl. "How was school today?" she asked, releasing her grip.

As Dinky told her mother how awesome her day was, I heard Cheerilee shout. "What do you mean you can't chaperone?" she said to one of the parents.

"I'm sorry, but something came up," the mother said in a saddened tone

"But you can't quit on me now. All the groups have already been made up."

I took this as a cue to see what is up. "Problem?" I interrupted.

Just from the sheer sight of me, Cheerilee's face went from worried to hopeful. "Scales!" she called out as she epiphanied.

"Cheerilee!" I called out in the same tone.

My mocking her flew right over her head. "Are you busy tonight?"

I put my finger on my chin to mimic thinking. "Well, I planned on scaring everybody in Ponyville, but seeing as Draco did that for me already, I would say I'm free. What do you need me for?"

Her face lit up. "Great! The class is having a contest to see which group can get the most candy. Each group has a chaperone to make sure nothing happens to the kids. Do you think you can chaperone a group?" Cheerilee gave me a puppy dog pout. Nowhere near as cute as Ditzy or Dinky, but still cute.

I always loved a little friendly competition, so how could I say no? "I don't see why not."

Cheerilee beamed with gratitude. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she fired from her mouth. She wrapped her arms around me, which caught me entirely by surprise.

"No problem." I said, giving her a quick squeeze and then releasing.

"Everyone is going to meet up here at six o'clock. Make sure you're here."

"I'll be here." I give a wave goodbye before returning to my friends.

Upon arriving back to them, Ditzy seem to be flustered about something. "You can't just do that!" I heard her say to Draco. "What if they form a mob or something and run you out of town, or worse!?" So it was about Draco causing a panic in town.

"I did nothing wrong." Draco argued. "To be put to death for simply walking is outrageous."

"Aw, c'mon Ditzy," I intervened. "Leave the guy... lizard alone. Just because he scared everybody in town... out of their pants... because he was wandering... HA HA!" Thinking about Draco walking through town will always make me laugh.

"This isn't funny, Scales." Ditzy looked serious.

"No, it's pretty funny." I wasn't

"You could get in a lot of trouble."

"How? Housing this lug? Trust me Ditzy, everything will be fine." She gave me her wall-eyed pout. As stated previously, om nom nom. "Oh, hey. Ditzy, are you a chaperone for the trick-or-treating contest thing?" Changing subject. Best maneuver when not wanting people to be mad at you.

It seemed to work pretty well. "Yeah, I can't wait. Me and Dinky's group are going to get the most candy."

"That's nice. Cheerilee just asked me to chaperone a group and considering how I'm chaperoning it, my group is obviously going to win."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Well it's not a peace treaty."

And with that, war was established.

Did I mention how much I love Nightmare Night? Because I really love Nightmare Night. I totally forgot about the fair that they hold in the center of town. It was awesome. Especially when you arrive there on a dragon. Ditzy, Dinky, and I rode in riding Draco. Everyone was like "Oh crap, look at them! They're riding a dragon!" It made me feel so superior to everybody, even though I wasn't.

As Ditzy and Dinky left to check out the festivities, I came up with the idea to put on a mock battle. Draco was up for it. We started to fighting right there in the middle of town. I used a fake sword and Draco apparently has a type of fake fire. It looks like real fire but it doesn't burn. I think it's for finding a mate. Anyway, as we fought, a crowd started to form, cheering us (more specifically me) on. It ended when Draco was on his back and I brought the fake sword down into his chest. He played dead and the crowd let out a roar. Best Nightmare Night ever.

Anyway, as the evening progressed, we ate, we played games, and we scared. I even saw Rainbow Dash pulling a few pranks. Granted they were with lightning but a prank is a prank.

Currently, I'm back at the school house with my assigned group, listening to the rules of the contest. My group consisted of Pipsqueak, the vampire, Featherweight, the detective, Snips, the red superhero from that show I remember, and Snails, the red superhero from the same show.

The rules were simple. The kids can trick-or-treat anywhere inside Ponyville, no buying candy to use in the competition, no using magic or wings, as it is unfair to those without, no stealing other teams' candy, and be back at the schoolhouse by nine. Sounds simple enough.

"Okay, Team Awesome!" I announced to my group. "We are going to go to the opposite side of town. That's where all the big houses are. Big houses, means more money. More money means more candy. More candy means more winning. Any questions?" Snips raised his hand. "Yes, Snips."

"Isn't that a forty-five minute walk?"

"Correct, Snips. That is, indeed, a forty-five minute walk on foot, but it's a fifteen minute ride by dragon." I gestured to Draco. "Draco has so kindly offered-slash-was forced to give us a ride to the other side of town." Snails raised his hand. "Yes, Snails."

"Snips stole my costume." Snails said, pointing a finger at Snips.

"I did not, you stole mine!" Snips shouted at Snails.

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

Suddenly, zippers formed around their mouths and zipped shut. Must be an epidemic. "Boys, it doesn't matter if you have the same costume. As long as you're scary."

I hear obnoxious laughing from behind me. "Them, be scary? Please. They can't even scare a fly." It was Diamond Tiara.

"Yeah, a fly." And Silver Spoon.

Picking on my team, eh? "Draco! Eat them!" Today I found out Draco enjoys scaring people. Normally, he would have ignored me, but today, he just let out a roar and crawled over to the two prissy princess. They ran away screaming and we all shared a laugh.

As we were enjoying other people's misfortune, a speaker echoed from the school house. "Attention teams. The contest will begin in five! Four!" Everybody lined up and got down into a running position. "Three!"

Ditzy was right next to me, eying me. "Good luck."

"Two!"

I returned her gaze. "Good luck, to you too."

"One!"

"You're gonna need it."

"Go!" The sound of an air horn rang through the air. Everybody sprinted to the nearing houses while I head to Draco. I sat myself properly on top of him and helped the little one on. Once everyone was safely on Draco back, we jolted forward, reaching speed of at least 20 mile per hour. I didn't think dragons could go that fast.

As we passed the other groups I shouted "Y'all ain't got nothing on my dragon!" No clue why I said that. Seemed appropriate at the time.

It wasn't long before we made it to the beginning of the house. Streets were aligned with big, several story houses, each covered with different Nightmare Night decorations.

"Okay, Team Awesome," I announced to my team. "Go up to each house one at a time. Giving one kid two handfuls of candy seems like a lot less than giving four kids two handfuls. Do not enter anyone's house. If they ask you to come in, say no, and proceed to the next house. If they say the candy is inside their house, you still do not enter. Understand?" Everyone nods. "Good. If you run out of space in your bag, Draco and I will be on the street with more bags." Okay, so I went through maximum candy acquiring procedure, safety, and bags. That's everything. "Now, is everybody ready?"

"Ready!" They all said in unison.

"Alrighty then! Pipsqueak! You're up first."

"Okay, Mister Scales." He had an adorable Trottingham accent. He ran up to the first house and knocked on the door. As it opened, Pip Squeak said "Trick-or-treat!" in the normal singsong tone. The man at the door pretended to act scared and put two handfuls of candy from the bowl in his hands into Pipsqueak's bag. Pipsqueak then proceeded to the next house.

I patted Featherweight on the back. "Your turn, bud."

Featherweight gave me a nod and went up to the first house.

"Okay, your turn Snips... Now Snails." Now, every member of the group was walking from door to door collecting tons of candy from each house. I feel really sorry for these kids' parents, and really great for their dentists.

Two hours flew by quickly. About twelve pillowcases of candy were strapped on to Draco's back as we strolled back to the schoolhouse. Everyone was tired from their evening of walking. The trick-or-treaters were simply amazed at how much candy they got.

The ride home wasn't really eventful. It wasn't until we got back to the schoolhouse when things got fun. All the other teams were already there, trying to predetermine who won the competition. The looks on everybody's faces when we arrived with twelve bags of candy was priceless. Jaws hit the ground. The triumphant faces of my team were even better. Cheerilee was judging every team to see who got the most candy. She gave me a look that said "Really?" I returned it with a look that said "Heck yeah, really!"

We waited patiently for Cheerilee to announce the winners of the contest. "Attention class," the speakers finally rang. "The winners of the candy collecting contest are... Pipsqueak, Featherweight, Snips, and Snails with twelve bags of candy! Congratulations!" We burst out into cheers of victory! High fives, everywhere! "For winning the contest, you all get..." Dramatic pause is long. "Free homework passes!" The rest of my team started cheering louder, while I stopped cheering and looked at the speaker disappointed. But I wanted money. I couldn't care less really. Now that I have my job back, money is no issue.

Ditzy approached me as I was still distracted by me not getting anything. "Well, it looks like you win," she said, admitting defeat. "Congratulations."

Suave mode, activate. I grab Ditzy by the waist and pull her in close. "Care to give the winner a kiss." I stare deep into her eyes. She begins to blush.

"I guess you deserve it." Yes! I lean forward to meet her lips. Her lips were still as soft as the night of her birthday. Although it wasn't as passionate as that night, it's still another kiss shared with the one I love. In the end, that's all that matters.

Ditzy broke the kiss, giggling. "What's so funny?" I questioned.

"You are," she answers. "One moment, you're like a little kid and the next you’re a gentleman."

"Is that bad?"

"No, no. It's one of the many reasons I love you."

"Mister Scales?" a voice called for me. I turn around to see my group, each holding a bag of candy.

"'Sup, shorties? Happy you can get out of homework?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Snails replied.

"We actually wanted to give you something," Snips said next.

"And what would that be?" I asked cautiously, thinking it may be a prank.

"We wanted to give you these!" Pipsqueak said, everyone handing me one pillowcase full of candy. "It's a thank you for giving us a great Nightmare Night!" They all looked at me with those huge eyes, it was almost too much.

"I can't take this from you guys. You worked hard collecting this candy."

"We want you to." Featherweight said... Featherweight said something. Featherweight spoke. He never spoke. He never even said "Trick-or-treat," when we were at the house. That was it. I had to hug them.

"Aw, come here you guys." I wrapped my arms around all four of the youngsters and gave them a bear hug. "Thanks." I released them from their hug and they ran off to their parents. Family... must be a great thing to have right now.

"Well, I guess I better get Dinky home." Ditzy said from behind me. "It's getting late."

"Yeah, it is," I agreed. "See ya tomorrow?"

"See ya tomorrow."

It was around 9:30 pm when I got home. Draco helped me carry the four bags of candy home. I asked him if he wanted any, but he declined. He crawled around to the backyard and, from what I could tell, went to sleep.

As I walked into my home, I simply tossed the bags on to the couch. I let out a yawn and stretched my arms. "Well, I'm tired. Going to bed," I say to myself.

"Aw, but the night is still young." A voice came from the darkened shadows of my house, scaring the shit out of me. I jumped five feet in the air.

"Holy shit! Lulu, you don't do that!" I shout at my unexpected guest.

She chuckles at my displeasure. "Weren't you doing that to everyone in Ponyville?" she queried.

"That's different, that was Draco." She continues to giggle at my adrenaline fueled responses. Luna was wearing her dress that resembled the night sky. It really did look beautiful on her, fitting her personality and role. "What are you doing here anyway? Didn't you already visit Ponyville on the first Nightmare Night you returned?"

"Yes, I did, but something is here now that wasn't here before," she said, sitting down on my recliner, crossing her legs. Luna seems to be acting a bit more... girly, than she usually does.

"Is it Draco? Draco wasn't here last time."

"Not your dragon," she replied. She got up from the chair and walked up me. Not girly... flirtatious. She leaned in close and whispered in a sultry tone, "You." I could smell alcohol in her breath.

Processing... Processing... Analysis complete. I grabbed Luna's shoulders and pushed her to arms distance. "Whoa, there Lulu. I'm flattered, really, but I kinda have a girlfriend, that I love, deeply. Also, you're drunk. So, why don't I help you get back to your room and-" I was cut off by a pair of lips being pressed against mine. Yep, that's alcohol. Luna basically threw herself at me. I had to force her off me again. "Luna! No!"

Luna looked angry. "Tonight is my night! You must give me what I want!"

"Luna, what you need is sleep. Here, the wardrobe is right over here, let me help you-" This time I was cut off by a sudden increase in gravity. My body fell to the ground with a thud. I couldn't move. My limbs were sprawled out. Luna placed herself on top of me.

"But, I don't want to go to bed." She licked her lips as her eyes narrowed on to my mine. "What I want," She leaned down, pushing her chest against mine. "is you."

"Luna, I have a girlfriend!" I tried to remind her.

"Not now, you don't," she whispered into my ear.

"No, I still do." Arguing was futile. I tried to escape the magical bond that Luna had place on me, but I couldn't break free. Without warning, Luna placed her lips against mine again. She forced herself onto me. Why, as a child, would I think a guy getting raped would still be good for the guy? This sucks! Try and try as I might, I couldn't move. My muscles could not overcome Luna's magic.

As I struggled to free myself from her grasp, I heard a creaking sound. The creaking of a door opening. I shifted my gaze upward, and saw the only person I hoped it wouldn't be. Ditzy. There she stood in the door way, eyes watching the scene before them in horror.

It was only then that Luna raised her head, giving me a chance to speak. "Ditzy, this isn't what it looks like." Tears began to run down her face. Then, just like her tears, she ran out the door. "Ditzy!" I called out to her. I tried and tried, harder and harder, I pushed against her magic but no use. "Luna! Let me go!" I yelled at her.

"But you are mine now. She clearly doesn't-"

"Luna! Let me GO!!!" I demanded in the harshest of tones. She flinched from my voice. A moment of silence later, I could move freely. I pushed Luna off of me and ran out the door. "Ditzy!" I called out. I could see her figure running away. "Ditzy!" I called again, sprinting towards her. As I neared her, I called again "Ditzy! Please wait!" As I caught up to her, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me. "Ditzy. Please listen."

"Let go of me!" she cried. I wince at her outburst. "Don't touch me." Realizing I still have a hold of her arm, I let go.

"Ditzy, I swear, that whole thing was a misunderstanding."

"What is there to misunderstand?" she yelled through the tears in her eyes. "She's a princess, after all. Why go after the ugly wall-eyed klutz when you can have her, right?"

"Don't you ever call yourself that!" I yelled at her. "You mean more to me than my own life!"

"Then why were you making out with her?"

"I wasn't! She was forcing herself on me. I swear!"

"And why should I trust you?"

"Because I love you, Ditzy!"

"Well, guess what, Scales." She took a deep breath and at the top of her lungs, she screamed, "I HATE YOU!!!"

With that, she ran off. My legs wouldn't move to run after her. When she said those three words, those three specific words, I felt my heart break. I couldn't move or speak. It took my mind several minutes to comprehend what she said and the feelings she put behind. I never thought I'd hear her say those words. All I could do was stand there. All I could do was walk back to my house, broken.

Inside waiting for me was Luna. She looked at me with the most sorrowful of expressions. "Scales, I-"

"Get out." I told her.

"But Scale-"

"Get the fuck out of my house!" I snapped at her. "Because of you, the girl I love hates me! If you think 'I'm sorry," is going to fucking cut it, think again! I want you get the fuck out of here and I never want to see your fucking face ever again!" All Luna did was stare at me, fear in her eyes. All of this rage, building up inside, all for this one person. "WELL!!!" She looked at me one last time, before walking out my front door.

The aching in my chest was unbearable. I could hardly think straight. The only thoughts that ran through my head were of Ditzy and Luna. Ditzy, the girl of my dreams, who I loved with all my heart, hates me. Luna, my once true friend, who has just ruined my life.

The only thing I could think of to ease the rage was to toss out the wardrobe. So I went into my room, picked it up in a field of magic and tossed it out the front door. The sound of the wood breaking on the road did nothing to calm my anger.

Then, the last thing I could only think of to end this fury, was to sleep. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. What was once rage and malice turned into pain and anguish. Tears begin to roll down my face as I sob into my pillow. "Please," I begged. "Please let this nightmare end."

Chapter 10 (edited)

The cold was the only one out to comfort me. The tree in front of me was marked with a huge indentation from where it had been struck repeatedly with Equality.

Practicing has been the only thing keeping me sane since Nightmare Night. Thinking about it makes my heart ache. Ditzy's eyes filled with tears. Luna basically raping me. They hurt. All of those memories hurt. The worst being the ‘I hate you’ Ditzy said before she ran off into the night. Every time I tried to talk to her, Carrot Top or Vinyl would always get in the way. They didn't buy my side of the story either.

Ever since that night, depression had slowly begun to consume me. It didn't help that Draco left. Thanks to that splint it healed up faster than it would normally take for a dragon wing to heal. I told him to visit often. I needed it. Also, Wolfgang ran away. He just opened the door and left. That took a hit on me. I couldn't blame him, though. I wasn't taking very good care of him. I forgot all about him when I bought Ditzy's birthday muffin. I just left him outside of Sugarcube Corner. He should be able to fend for himself.

I shook away the burning memories and focused on the tree. I let out a battle cry as I swung at the trunk of the tree. Each slash I delivered caused the gashes in the tree to grow bigger and bigger.

For the past few weeks I've come to this small clearing I found while walking through the Everfree Forest. This is the only thing successfully keeping my mind off of Ditzy. I trained from dusk till dawn. Days seemed to have melded together into one long blur of sword swinging, eating, and sleeping.

Before I knew it, the tree I'd been practicing on is almost ready to fall. Most of the bark at around torso level was gone along with the trunk of the tree. Deciding this tree had been put through enough pain, I put my foot against the trunk of the tree and begin applying force. Sure enough, the sound of wood cracking echoed through the forest, cancelling out the white noise of animals and foliage and causing my heart to ache.

The sound of splintering wood. That was the sound of the table breaking over the head of the thug that tried to shoot Ditzy. That's the sound of the wardrobe as it hit the ground that night.

I shook off the memories as the tree fell to the snow covered ground, muffling what would have been a louder thud. I stared at the fallen tree in thought. That's the twelfth tree I've cut down since I started. Maybe I should take up carpentry.

The ruffling of leaves from behind me broke me from my thoughts. I turned around and readied Equality for a fight, just in case whatever was lurking in the forest was hostile. I tried to look into the trees to spot whatever creature is hiding within them, but the low sun and early morning clouds prevented me from doing so.

The rustling became louder and louder as the seconds ticked by. Suddenly, a figure jumped from the shadows of the trees. It was a man. "Run!" he shouted at me as he sprinted past. I looked at him, confused, until another figure burst through the shadows. This time, it was a manticore, and it did not look happy. It beared its teeth, ready to attack, as it chased the man.

Being the heroic thing to do, I stopped thinking and charged at the manticore, tackling it to the ground. It was at that moment I realized something. I can be a total dumbass.

I quickly got back on my feet and jumped back. I readied Equality once again as the manticore dazedly got to its feet. It locked its eye onto me and let out a roar to try and intimidate me.

We began to circle each other, anticipating who would make the first move. I took this time to remember all the information I had on manticores. Okay, a manticore is a combination of a lion, a scorpion, and a bat. Wait. I could pour alcohol on its back. I heard scorpions sting themselves when you do that. Wait. I don't have any alcohol. As I rummaged through my mind to gather information on this creature, I remembered a conversation I overheard back in my days at the castle. Someone was telling a story about some group of friends who were attacked by a manticore. One of the members of the group was able to subdue the manticore... by treating it like a cat. She just started petting it and it was all purry purry.

Normally, I would pass off this information at false, but you’ve got to remember, I was kinda depressed at the time, didn't care for my own well-being, and I was curious.

I let out a sigh, knowing my idiocy may be the death of me. The manticore took this as a sign that I was distracted. It let out another roar as it pounced at me. I quickly side stepped it using my circle walking and it landed on the ground behind me. As it turned around and began to pounce again, it was surprised to find that I was not there, only my sword lying in the snow.

Without wasting a moment, I dropped from the trees above on top of the manticore. Using my weight, with some help from my magic, I forced the beast to the ground. It roared as it struggled to break free from my grasp. With a burst of courage, I placed one hand behind its ear, one hand on its side, and began scratching and rubbing and every other synonym of petting. The manticore slowly stopped struggling, and I heard it begin to purr.

Holy shit, this is actually working.

After a moment, I released the manticore from my magical hold, half-expecting it to pounce on me and eat my face off. To my surprise, it didn't. It just laid there, purring like a kitten to my touch. After another moment, I picked myself up from the beast and backed away, still cautious of my face. The manticore just got up and started brushing against me, still wanting more attention. I placed my hand behind its ear again and began scratching. It purred louder as I continued to satisfy its itches.

"Is that really happening?" I turned to see the man who was once running from this supposed savage beast. Not really believing it myself, I answered with a shrug and awkward smile. He then began to laugh. "That's awesome!" he managed to get out. I couldn't blame him. If I wasn't so sure this thing would eat my face if I started laughing, I would be too.

The manticore began to growl at the laughing man. In fear of it attacking again, I scratched harder. Its growls turned back into purrs. After a moment, the manticore lay down at my feet. I continued petting until it closed its eyes and slowly drifted off back into its slumber.

Carefully, I stepped over the sleeping beast, as not to wake it. Once free, I addressed the man who was still laughing. "So," I began, "who are you and why was that manticore chasing you?"

Wiping a tear from his eye, he said "Well, I was just strolling through Everfree-"

"And already you sound like an idiot," I interrupted.

He stared at me. "...when a loud cracking noise echoed through the forest. Then this guy must have woken up from wherever it was sleeping and just decided I made the noise and it started chasing me." Despite having a near death experience, he talked with pep.

Loud cracking noise? That was probably the tree... I almost killed a man.

"Also, the name's Good Vibration, but everyone calls me Good Vibes." His gave me a smile. "And what, may I ask, is my saviour’s name?"

For some reason, his happy demeanour pissed me off. "I'm Golden Scale, but everyone calls me Scales." I walk over to where Equality lay in the snow and returned it to its sheath.

"Well then, Scales, thank you for saving my life." He was somehow able to get behind me and wrap his arm around me without me hearing him. "Since you helped me with my problem, I'd like to help you with yours."

I raised an eyebrow at this. "What problem?"

"I don't know, but I know you're sad. I can see it in your eyes. Something is bothering you and I would like to help."

How could he tell I was upset just by looking at my eyes? That's weird.

I began walking to the freshly fallen tree. "It's personal. Wouldn't feel comfortable talking about it with a stranger." Little did I know, saying that sentence would make the journey of recovery a much faster and more entertaining one.

Again, almost like a ninja, Good Vibes' arm wrapped around my neck. "Well then, looks like I'll just have to be your friend."

"What?"

"To say thanks, let me treat my hero to a nice, hot meal." He starts pulling me in the direction Ponyville.

I free my self from his grasp and continue to the fallen tree. "Thanks but no thanks. I don't need your help." I lift the the trunk up into the air (with magic) and lay it with the rest of the logs that have been slain.

"Come on!" he insists with his damn arm around me again. Fucking arm. "You don't look like you have anything important, so why not let a humble, thankful citizen treat you to some food."

His constant pestering is getting annoying. "Listen, I don't want your damn help. I want to be alone. So, why don't you get that through your thick skull and-" I was cut off by the sound growling. Its origin my stomach, not the manticore.

My face grows red as that cheeky smile grew on his face again. "Well, that settles it." With that he begins dragging me off back to Ponyville. I was all ready to decline his offer, but I was getting hungry.

Author's Note: Hey hey hey. Sorry for the long wait. Like, a month, right? I've been preoccupied. Not with homework or anything, just internet and two new video games. This chapter was originally going to be longer but procrastination and a future character's name kept causing problems. I will (barely) try to get the next one up before (or during [possibly after]) December. Again, thank every single one of you who liked and Favorited my story. Never before have I thought I could write one that people would like.

Chapter 11

Good Vibes escorted me to a part of town I had never been to before. It was a residential area on the complete opposite side of town. We wasted a lot of time walking. The streets were lined with houses and the occasional apartment complex. Honestly, the neighborhood looked kind of slummy. Not the I-feel-like-I'm-going-to-get-shot slummy, the these-houses-look-somewhat-old-and-run-down slummy.

As we walked, some old people could be found doing what it is most old people do in the morning: sitting on their porches, drinking coffee, reading the newspaper; that sort of thing. Good Vibes would always wave and say hello to whomever we passed and they would do the same. It might look a little slummy, but at least everyone is neighborly.

He stopped in front of a house that looked like all the others we passed on the way here. The only distinction was the weeping willow that could be seen from their backyard. "Well, here we are; our home," Good Vibes said, admiring his abode. "Not too big, not too small. Perfect size for us."

I took a step back. "I hope by 'us', you mean ‘other people’."

"Obviously," he replied with a short laugh.

Good Vibes gave off the impression that he was carefree, yet concerning. I mean, just who tries to get involved with a stranger’s problem? Well, I did save his life, I guess. But the way he looks whispers "hippie". His shaggy brown bangs hang just above his eyes. His shirt was tie-dyed with several shades of blue. He looked a few years younger than me.

He opened the front door of the house for me and I gave a simple nod as thanks. I immediately took in the surroundings. I appeared to be in a standard living room. There was a couch, a coffee table, some bookshelves, a recliner; living room stuff. But what stood out the most upon my entering was a woman on a ladder changing a light bulb.

“Good Vibes? Is that you?” she called out, not turning to face us.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he answered.

“Good,” she began. She pointed to the coffee table. “Can you hand me the light bulb on the table the-” She stopped mid-sentence as the ladder began to wobble. The result was her losing her balance and she began to fall. Instincts kicked in and I dashed over to catch her. She landed in my arms as the ladder fell to the ground. She looked at the fallen ladder and sighed in relief. “Thanks, Good Vibes. I would have been in trouble if you-” Her sentence was cut short again by the realization that it was not Good Vibes that caught her, but a stranger.

In all honesty, I was a little taken aback by her beauty. Her eyes were a brilliant shade of pink. Her long hair was a lovely shade pink with cyan and mint green highlights. It reminded me of a certain princess I know, except hers was not blowing in the nonexistent wind. I could feel the curve in her hourglass figure. She had these mesmerizing pink eyes that one could get lost in. From what I could see, she was the definition of beautiful, but mine eyes are for another.

“Umm… hi,” she said, confused, breaking me out of my daze.

“Hi.” I replied. “Are you okay?”

“Y- Yes.”

“Good.” I set her down to her feet.

“Uhh… thanks.”

“No problem.” I gave a small smile and received one in return. I suddenly felt a sensation at the back of my neck. I turned and saw Good Vibes eyeing me daggers; an ominous sense of ill intent was behind them. Once I got a full view of his face, it immediately switched from a death glare to his usual smile. “Nice save, dude,” he complimented.

The fuck?

While I was busy being confused, Good Vibes did what I hate and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Hey, Mels,” he addressed the woman. “I’d like you to meet my new friend, Golden Scale.”

“Hi," I greeted, removing his arm from around me. "Call me Scales."

It seemed to take her a second to compose herself before her introduction. "I'm Melody." Her smile seemed to brighten up the room. "Thanks again for catching me. I was trying to replace the bulb but I kinda..." She began to trail off. Her eyes shifted to the light bulb on the coffee table.

"Allow me." With a simple bit of magic, I took the bulb from the table and screwed it into the filter.

"Thanks," she said. "So, Good Vibes how did you two meet?"

Her question seemed to make him uneasy. Good Vibes looked off in one direction and started rubbing the back of neck. "Oh, you know, just taking a stroll through Everfree Forest, and we crossed each other and started talking."

Although what he said was technically true, the way he said made it blatant that he was leaving out details. The look on Melody's face showed she was not buying it. She looked at me expectantly and Good Vibes' eyes seemed to be pleading me not to say.

Telling Melody the truth will probably get Good Vibes scolded... that should kill a couple of minutes. "I was training in Everfree when he woke a manticore, which I saved him from."

Her eyes widened as I finished. She turned to Good Vibes with a stern look. "You woke a manticore?!" she shouted. "Why in Equestria would you wake up a manticore?!"

Good Vibes glared at me which I returned with a smug smile. "I didn't mean to."

"I told you to be careful in Everfree!"

"I was!"

"Then why did he have to save you?!"

I hoped it wasn't rude of me, but I took a seat on their couch and watched as the yelling continued. Most people would find this situation awkward but past events make this kind of thing entertaining. Melody went on and on with the whole "What if he wasn't there" speech, while Good Vibes hung his head. Something near the end drew my attention. It was when Melody said "You know I worry about you".

I noticed him smile when he said "Yeah, I know." I don't think Melody noticed.

"Would you keep it down out there!" someone cried from down the hallway. "Do you know how hard it is to sleep with you two yelling?!" The voice grew louder and louder until a girl emerged from the hallway. Her spiky hair was a bright, neon green. It was styled similar to a certain DJ I knew. Can someone in this house be original?! Her eyes were a similar shade of pink to Melody's. "Seriously, I'm trying to-" Her eyes wandered to the two standing in the middle of the room to me on the couch. "Who's the cutie?"

Wasn't that exactly what Vinyl said when I met her?

"Hi," I said with a wave.

Good Vibes took this as an opportunity to avoid further scolding, and introduced me. "Hey, Techno. This is Golden Scale." He then turned to me. "Scales, this is Techno, Melody's little sister and the youngest of our family."

I stood up from the couch and gave the usual greeting. "Nice to meet you." I extended my hand for a handshake.

Instead of shaking it, she walked up and leaned in close to my face. She looked almost mesmerized. "You have pretty eyes." She leaned in closer and I took a step back. "They're like emeralds."

"Th- thanks," I said, rubbing my neck.

"Techno, stop making our guest feel weird," Melody yelled at her sister.

"Oh, come on, I'm just having a little fun," she retorted.

"It's fine," I reassured Melody. "I take to the same kind of fun." Payback time. "By the way," I began, gaining the attention of Techno. I got in really close, leaving almost no gap in between us. I placed my hand under her chin and raised her head so her eyes met mine. With the most lustful look in my eyes and the most seductive tone, I said "You could have done better."

The look on her face was one of surprise and discomfort. After a second, she jumped back and continued to look at me with unease until I started to giggle. When she realized I was kidding, she began to laugh as well. "I like you."

"Hard not to," I replied. "Now I must apologize. I just met you and doing such as I did would be considered rude."

"Don't worry about. Guys I’ve just met have done far worse than you." That kind of creeped me out. What would she doing to get guys to do worse than that? Then I remembered her name. Probably a night club.

While me and Techno were having a creeper contest, Good Vibes and Melody were having a conversation of their own. "Where's Heartbeat and Whitey?" asked Good Vibes.

"Oh, I sent them on a few errands," Melody answered.

"Why so early?"

"We were running low on food. Why else?"

"How low?"

"You like bread and butter sandwiches?"

"Okay, that low."

Now there's a Heartbeat and a Whitey? How big is this family?

"Hey Scales," Good Vibes called out to me. "Follow me; I want to show you something."

I complied and followed him as he headed down the hallway Techno came from. It was kinda narrow, enough space two people with little elbow room. There were three doors on both walls and one at the end of the hallway. Good Vibes seemed to be taking me to the one at the end.

As we reached the end of the hallway, Good Vibes opened the door for me. The room I entered was filled with musical instruments. It looked like it was set up like a sound studio, but there were no microphones or anything to capture the sound. There was a grand piano, a drum set, bongo, a key board, an acoustic and an electric guitar, a bass, several different wind instruments that I couldn't name. Quite the admirable collection.

"Nice room," I commented.

"Thanks." He walked up to the acoustic guitar and put the strap around his head. "As you can guess based off our names, music is our special talent. It's actually what brought us together." He began to strum the string of his guitar; a pacific tone graced the room. "So what do you think?"

"I've heard better," I answered.

"I meant them."

"Oh them; they seem nice." Even with my short experience with them I felt I could honestly say that. "You seem close."

It makes me wish I had a family like this. Memories of when I was kid flashed through my head. All the happy memories of when I had a family. My mom and dad's smiling faces with nothing but love and comfort behind. He could apparently tell because he asked "Are you okay? You seem sad." Before I could answer, he said "For a different reason, anyway."

"I told you I don't want to talk about it."

"And I told you I'm going to help."

"You told me I was getting lunch."

"And I was going to help." He took a seat on the bench in front of the piano, still playing. "Look, I can see that you're sad. About what, I don't know, but it shows. Sadness is something I know well and is not something I like to see others go through. We've all been through it, some more often and more intense than others, and we need help to get through it."

"I'm getting real tired of your shit!" I finally shouted at him. "I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help. I'm fine on my own!"

He did not flinch at all from my outburst. He just sat there, still strumming the mellow chords on his guitar.

A voice from outside the room called out. "Good Vibes, can you come here for a minute? I need your help!" It was Melody's.

"Coming!" he called back. Good Vibes stopped playing, got up and put the guitar back on the stand. As he walked past me to the door, he put his hand on my shoulder and said "It's always those who say they don't need help who need it the most. I don't know what happened, but I'll be your crutch." And with that, he left me alone in the room of instruments.

All that I could feel was anger. How could he know so much, yet know so little? He sees through me like glass. It discomforts me. I hate it. Who does he think he is? He knows nothing about me. He doesn't know what I've been through. I went years being alone. I don't need him; I don't need anyone. I've been through Tartarus and back and I've done it alone.

I sat on the piano's bench. Now the painful memories were washing up. I've been through the murder of my parents, the depression that followed, the heartbreaks of Ditzy and my own, and the betrayal of who I thought was my best friend. I've been through it all.

I was about to leave right then and there, until something caught my eye. In the corner of the room was a beautifully crafted violin resting on a stand, its bow leaning on the wall.

As I stared at the instrument, old memories, ones long forgotten, emerged. I saw my father playing his violin for my mother. They had a fight about something and my mom threatened to leave. My father did what he always did and wrote her a song. She always did love his songs.

Dad was a musician. He could play almost any instrument. He would write songs for whoever would pay for them. He wrote songs even if he gained nothing from it. He wrote love ballads, rock song, orchestral pieces, smooth jazz, every genre. He actually wrote the songs for the play that we saw on the night of his death. His favorite instrument was the violin. Most of his songs included it. He always had the biggest smile on his face when he was playing his. The sounds he made could be compared with Octavia’s. Before he was able to land a successful job, he played his violin on the streets for change. It was actually where he met Mom.

Mom was a member of the Royal Guard. She's the one that inspired me to join in the first place. She was proud, brave, and strong. She was a local hero in Canterlot. Whenever things got real, she would tackle it down, kick its ass, and put it back in its place. She was awarded countless medals for her service. On her way to do a mission she was hired to do, she passed through Ponyville. As she walked through the streets, she heard a wonderful melodic song being played. It entranced her and followed its source. It was a lonely street musician. She laid her eyes upon him and his upon hers. It was love at first sight, and the rest was history.

The violin gathering dust in the corner struck a chord (ha) with me. It activated something in my mind that played the memory of my father serenading my mother. It was almost hallucinogenic.

I was a kid at the time. Maybe eight years old. I was watching from the crack of my bedroom door. My mother threatened to walk out the door because of some fight they had, but before she did, Dad grabbed his violin. As my dad drew the bow across the string, I could hear the beautiful music it created.

As my father's lips formed to the lyrics of the song, so did mine. "I need another story," I began to sing in a low volume. "Something to get off my chest,
My life gets kind of boring, need something that I can confess,
'til all my sleeves are stained red, from all the truth that I said,
Come by it honestly I swear,
Thought you saw me wink, no, I've been on the brink so,
Tell me what you want to hear, Something that will light those ears,
Sick of all the insincere, I'm gonna give all my secret away."

I watched the vision of my dad serenading my mother, my lips matching his. If only his voice could have been there to accompany his music. Mom looked at Dad with a mixed look of resentment and enamor. She knew that he knew his song would win her over, like they always did.

"My god, amazing how we go this far,
It's like were chasing all those stars, who's driving shiny big black cars,
And every day I see the news, all the problems that we could solve,
And when a situation rises just write it into a album,
Singing straight, too cold,
But I don't really like my flow, no

"So tell me what you-" The squeak of a door broke me out of my memory. The house I once lived in slowly faded back into the music room of an unfamiliar home, along with my parents’ faces. I raised my head to see Techno, standing at the door.

"Hey," I said distantly.

"Don't mind me," she said. "Keep singing." She looked at me expectantly.

"That's it." It wasn't. The song was longer, but I was mimicking my dad. Without him, the lyrics were lost. "There's no more."

Techno knew I was lying, but did not persist. She approached me and takes a seat next to me on the bench. "You're a good singer."

"Thanks."

Awkward silence.

"So, I take it the real reason you're here isn't because Good Vibes wanted to offer you lunch, but to try to help you with whatever problem he saw in your eyes?"

"Great deduction."

Awkward silence.

"Girl trouble?"

The people here need to stop reading me. "Can you read eyes too,+ or something?"

"Nope." She smiled. "Let's call it women's intuition."

"Does he always try to help random people?"

"Well, I wouldn't call you random since you saved his life, but yeah. Whenever he sees someone unhappy, he always goes out of his way to make them feel better. He always tries to make others smile."

"That doesn't make him any less annoying," I commented. "I understand that he wants to help, but I don't need it."

"Well if it's about a girl, it doesn't hurt to have someone to talk to."

"I don't need someone to talk to."

I felt she would have persisted on this matter if Good Vibes had not walked in when he did. "Sorry," he began, rubbing the back of his head. "But it seems that I won't be able to give you that lunch." When he saw that Techno was in the room with me, he glared at her. "Techno, you better not be annoying our guest."

"I wasn't doing anything," she said, insulted by his accusation.

"It's fine," I assured Good Vibes.

Without taking his eyes off of Techno he said "If you say so." When he did look back at me, he had an apologetic look on his face. "Anyway, sorry, but since Heart Beat and Whitey have gone out for groceries and won't be back for a while, I can't give you that lunch I promised. But if you don't mind waiting awhile..."

"If it's all the same with you, I think I'll leave." I lifted myself from the bench and walked past him into the hallway.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he followed.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay," he said with a sense of disappointment in his voice. As I made my way to their living room, I said goodbye to Melody and left.

I felt my agitation lessen as I walked down the suburban sidewalk. As I neared the end of the block, I heard Good Vibes calling out to me. I turned to see him running after me. He took a few deep breaths as he reached me. "What?" I asked with complete disregard for his lack of oxygen.

After a few more deep breathes, he answered. "I... was gonna ask... you to come... to the fountain at the park tomorrow."

"Why?"

"So I can help you," he said with his lungs now full of air.

I'm getting real tired of your help. I began to feel more annoyed. "How do you know if you can help me?" I said with a raised voice, making my anger apparent.

Without flinching or anything, he replied "I don't, but everything is worth a shot." He answered with a straight face. Even he did not know if his help will work on me.

I stared deep into his eyes, trying to make him waver. Good Vibes just stood there, strong willed. After a few moments, I sighed. "Fine," I admitted.

"Pinky promise." Good Vibes extends his arm, pinky out.

"What?"

"Pinky promise. Don't want you bailing out on us." He gives me a smug grin.

I stare at his hand, then at him, then his hand again. I know there is know way out of this other than to promise him. Reluctantly, I grab his pinkie with mine. "Fine, pinkie promise."

His grin grew to a cheeky smile. "Great," he exclaimed. "Now there's no way out of it. Be there around two thirty. Don't be late."

"Sure. Whatever."

As I turned to head back into town, he said "And make sure to prepare your singing voice!" With that, he headed back to his own home.

The rest of my walk was spent in white noise of the town. I went over today's events in my head. I hate today. I'm going to hate tomorrow.

I wonder if there is anything I can break around here.

Author's Note

About.
Fucking.
Time.
I am sorry for anyone who looks forward to this on the almost three month wait. Also I hope you all had wonderful Holidays and a happy New Year.
Anyways, as a way to say sorry, I drew concept art. I'm not bad, but I'm not great either. If you want to see them, just go to my DeviantArt.
This chapter could have been better I think in many ways but I wanted to get it out there like right now, so yeah.
This Chapter has not been edited yet because I thought you people have waited long enough.

So Long, Farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

Sorry for everyone who cares, but I'm no longer going to continue writing I'm in Love With the Mailmare. I actually want get out of this fandom. I just stopped caring for My Little Pony and no longer want to be a associated with the fat, nerdy, socially-awkward, forever alone neckbeards that most people take bronies as (not you, you're gorgeous and I'm sure you can get all the members of your preferred gender). I only ever come here anymore to read two fics whenever they are rarely updated. I haven't even worked on this thing since, like, May.

So, for the last time, I'd like to thank you, the readers who enjoyed my work, the readers who stuck around for so long, the editor who edited what needed editing, and the commentors who have motivated me to get as far as I did. But I must officially declare I'm in Love With the Mailmare cancelled.

But let it be known that I am a merciful ruler. If enough of you want, I might (MIGHT!!!) be able to make some sort of chapter summery of the chapters I never made and post it (IF I'M NOT A TOTAL ANUS AND NOT DO IT BECAUSE I'M VERY LAZY [I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, I'M SURPRISED I MADE THIS]). I'm not gonna post it here though, because it's cancelled and what not. Probably gonna put it in a blog post (IF I DO IT).

Author's Note

Thank you.

Going on Hiatus

Sorry for the false alarm for everyone who cares, but am announcing that this story is going on hiatus. I haven't been working on it at all, so I thought it was about time that I do this. I could say it is because I'm lazy but I haven't really been feeling like writing.

As an apology I wanna tell you all a quick story. Last summer I became a brony. the same thing that happened to every other brony happened to me. "Why do I like this? Oh god, am I still considered a man? Oh wait, I am. Yay, ponies." Fairly new to the brony community, I knew of this one fan fic called My Little Dashie and it was supposed to be sad as balls. That led me to here, where I read it and confirmed that it was sad as balls. I started reading other fan fics and it got me into something I never really liked: reading. I eventually came up with a story of my own in my head. I thought I could draw it out but drawing for me only came from inspiration, not telling a story. So I thought I'd write it out on a whim. I sent it to my friend who I also converted into bronydom and he said it was pretty good. I then decided to post it on fimfiction.net to see what everyone else thought. Apparently, it was pretty damn good. I then learned that I was good at something I never thought I'd be good at: writing.

So, thank you everyone who favorited, commented, liked, and all that. I found a... mediocre talent of mine thanks to all of you. Sorry to say that it will be awhile until Scales continues on his escapade to win Ditzy back. I might take my hand at one of the most common types of fan fics here while he waits... Humans in Equestria! Because I myself wanna know what I'd do if that happens. It's probably not gonna happen though because it requires effort on my part which I don't have. Until then, allonz-y. That made no sense, but Doctor Who, so whatever.

Author's Note

I love you all! <3