The Day Equestria Was Bent
The Day Equestria Was Bent
Late at night in a filthy apartment littered with porno magazines, cigar butts, pizza boxes, beer cans and other junk was the robot Bender Bending Rodriguez the Bending Unit fast asleep snoring loudly lying on a pile of beer bottles behind the couch.
"Must.... must... must kill all Humans. Kill all Humans." Said Bender muttering in his sleep.
Suddenly with a blinding flash of light a pink vortex opened at the window creating a vacuum, which sucked every light weighted object in the room into it instantly, but slowly dragged Bender towards it, who held onto the couch.
Fry wearing just his white underpants opened his bedroom door, which was then soon pulled off it's hinges and dragged into the vortex.
"What the hell is going on?!" Shouted Fry.
"I don't know!"
Suddenly the vortex's vacuum increased in strength dramatically sucking both the couch and Bender inside.
"Benderrrrr!" Shouted Fry.
The vortex closed up rapidly fading away into nothing.
Bender along with all the stuff of his apartment fell through a pink wormhole spinning around in circles screaming.
"Why does stuff like this always happen to me?!"
All of a sudden there was a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of Bender.
Bender reappeared in the sky over Ponyville during the day, then proceeded to fall through the roof of Rarity's house.
"Ow!" Said Bender.
When the dust cleared Bender saw the unicorn Rarity staring at him in shock holding a green ruby in her right hoof next to a dresser.
"Uh, hi." Said Rarity.
Bender jumped to his footcups, followed by dropping a brick from underneath him then screamed as he ran through the front door leaving a imprint of a silhouette of his body in the door.
"Hey wait, that thing had a ruby!"
Bender sent his extensomatic arms back through the door to pull the ruby off Rarity, who struggled to hold onto it while Bender laughed maniacally.
"Help, thief!" Shouted Rarity.
Rarity was no match for Bender's super robotic strength so thus the ruby was pulled out of her hooves, followed by Bender quickly retracting his arms back to their usual length and then placing the ruby inside his chest cabinet.
"It's mine now bitch!"
Up in the sky the Pegasus Rainbow Dash flew towards Bender holding a small storm cloud.
"Hey give that back to Rarity! Or I'll fire lightning at you!" Shouted Rainbow Dash.
"No, it's mine now you talking flying rainbow pony freak!"
Rainbow Dash hit the cloud causing a lightning bolt to hit Bender, which didn't hurt him in any way, in fact he enjoyed it.
"Awwww yeah, give me more!" Shouted Bender while being electrocuted.
Rarity stormed out her front door running towards Bender to buck him with both of her back legs.
"Ow, that hurt slightly." Said Bender while stumbling a little. Rarity stood up like a Human and began to punch Bender while Rainbow Dash from behind joined in by kicking the back of Bender's head keeping herself slightly off the ground. "Hey knock it off! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh that's it!"
The now enraged Bender picked up Rarity then threw her through her house's front window smashing it.
"Rarity!" Screamed Rainbow Dash as she flew inside the house at lightning like speed. "Are you OK?!"
"Yes, I'm OK!" Said Rarity while stumbling back onto her hooves. "Just get my ruby back!" Shouted Rarity while running back outside.
Rainbow Dash flew back outside to see Bender making a run for it towards the Everfree Forest.
"Hey get back here!" Shouted Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash caught up to Bender with her lightning like speed to give him a double punch with both of her hooves causing Bender to stumble a little.
"Ow!" Bender saw the enraged Rarity running towards him, so thus decided to grab Rainbow Dash and throw her at Rarity knocking her over. Just as Bender was about to turn around and run towards the Everfree Forest he was magically lifted into the air. "Hey, what gives?! Bender saw the unicorn Twilight Sparkle whose horn flashed with light near Rainbow Dash and Rarity stumbling back onto their hooves. "Aha!"
Bender rapidly extended his right arm towards Twilight Sparkle to punch her in the face causing her to lose focus and Bender to fall back down onto his two footcups. Bender quickly retracted his arm back then proceeded to run into the Everfree Forest.
"Stop him! He took my ruby!" Shouted Rarity.
"Nah, let him go. He'll die in there anyway." Said Rainbow Dash.
"Indeed." Said Twilight Sparkle.
"Yeah I guess you're right, I can always find another ruby anyway."
Bender who was now deep in the Everfree Forest found it hard to see due to a thick mist.
"I can't see crap!" He took a bottle of Vodka out from his chest cabinet, then knocked it back drinking it all at once, followed by throwing the bottle over his shoulder smashing it, which made him burp a column of flame out from his mouth setting a tree alight.
Back in Ponyville the Ponies gasped in horror seeing the smoke rising from the Everfree Forest.
Back in the Everfree Forest the fire had became an inferno spreading rapidly from tree to tree making the local wild life flee in terror.
"Robot one, nature zero!" Said Bender while laughing evilly. Suddenly hundreds of Pegasi Ponies holding clouds made a storm above him quickly putting out the inferno he made. "Stupid environmentalist Ponies ruining my fun." Thought Bender in his own head.
"Hey, that's him!" Shouted Rainbow Dash above Bender pointing her right hoove at him.
"Aww, crap!" Dozens of Pegasi flew down and grabbed Bender carrying him off into the sky screaming. "Let go of me!" Shouted Bender.
As Bender was carried through the sky he thought to himself.
"How do they control the weather? At any rate these freaking talking Ponies must be a bunch of nature loving pansies." Rainbow Dash opened his chest cabinet taking Rarity's ruby out. "Hey, that's mine!" Shouted Bender.
"No it's not, you stole it!" Shouted Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah whatever."
Soon Bender was put down back onto the ground in Ponyville before the Alicorn Princess Celestia with a large crowd gathered near by. "What the hell are you supposed to be?!"
"I am Princess Celestia and you... you... Uh, what are you?"
Bender stood up taking a cigar out from his chest cabinet lighting it up by using his middle finger as a lighter, then proceeded to blow smoke causing some Ponies near by to cough.
"I'm Bender." He stomped on a snail on the ground crushing it.
"You monster!" Shouted Fluttershy with tears in her eyes.
Fluttershy flew off wailing in her grief.
"Well whatever you are Bender, you seem to have only come to Equestria to rob, assault, upset, and destroy the environment. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"What's the best alcohol to drink around here when I become low on power?"
"Try my Family's apple cider!" Shouted Applejack.
"Applejack?!" Said Celestia sounding disappointed.
"Sorry Princess Celestia." Said Applejack looking down ashamed.
"I forgive you. Now Bender, is that all you have to say for yourself?
"Yes." Said Bender.
"Well in that case, it's off to prison with y--
"Alright, I'm sorry." Said Bender interrupting Celestia.
"Do you really mean that?"
"Yes yes please, just give me another chance!"
"Okay Bender, but you'll have to do six months of community service watering flowers."
"Dammit." Celestia used her magic to levitate a green watering can and a white apron themed with love hearts. "I hate flowers!"
***************
So Bender went wearing the embarrassing apron walking from flower to flower in Ponyville carefully watering each one.
"Stupid Ponies! Making me do all the work!" Said Bender muttering to himself.
"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie." Said Pinkie Pie walking up to him.
"Bite my shiny metal ass!"
"Okey dokey!"
Pinkie Pie jumped over Bender then proceeded to bite his ass.
"Ow, stop biting my ass!"
Pinkie Pie stopped biting his ass.
"But you said--
"I meant it as an insult, not for you to literally do it!" Shouted Bender interrupting Pinkie Pie.
"Aww, why do you have to be so mean?!"
"Because your voice is annoying you stupid pathetic talking ugly freak!"
Pinkie Pie's lower lip quivered as her hair deflated then started to cry loudly with rivers of tears running down her cheeks.
"Dammit stop crying, you're giving me a headache!" Pinkie Pie continued to cry. Bender sighed deeply. "Listen I'm sorry alright, just stop crying please!"
Pinkie Pie's hair inflated going back to being frizzy and stopped crying.
"So you do have a heart after all?"
"No I don't! I'm a cold heartless machine."
"Yes you do! You felt sad when I was sad."
"Okay maybe I do. But don't you dare go around telling everyone!" Pinkie Pie gestured zipping her mouth, locking it with the key, digging a hole, burying the key in that hole, building a house atop that hole and moving into that house. "Uh, I'm not quite sure I understand are you gonna tell or not?"
"Obviously I won't tell, that's why I zipped my mouth closed, then locked it with a key, then--
"Okay okay, I get it." Said Bender interrupting Pinkie Pie.
There was an awkward silence.
"Hey how about I sing you a song to make you smile?"
"Don't you dare!" Shouted Bender.
Just as Pinkie was about to sing a song a pink vortex opened next to Bender sucking him inside, then the vortex closed up rapidly fading away into nothing.
"Bye Bender."
Bender fell through a pink wormhole spinning around in circles screaming.
"This again?!"
There was a blinding flash of light, followed by the disappearance of Bender.
Bender reappeared back in his apartment lying on the floor.
"Hey Bender you're back! What's with the girly apron?" Said Fry from his bedroom.
"Shut up Fry, before I kill you and sell your organs!" Shouted Bender.
Bender stood up then tore the apron off throwing it on the floor, then wondered how he was sent to that place and then suddenly brought back home again.
Out in space the God Galactic Entity chuckled to himself.
"You'll never know Bender, but you will. It was Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth testing multiverse teleportation."
The End
