With a quiet sigh, Applejack stirred the sauce she was making for the after supper dessert. Letting the wooden spoon go she looked around her granny’s kitchen to take in the ambiance. Nothing had changed, but still so much had. Her adopted daughter, Scootaloo, was playing with her friends just outside in the yard while Rainbow Dash was planned to return from her latest tour with the Wonderbolts.
Supper, a large spread of salad, hot soup, some bread made fresh that morning from Sugarcube corner just for the occasion. It was just what Applejack hoped would send the message that Rainbow Dash is loved and missed at home.
She sniffed the sauce and sighed a heavy sigh, she could feel her heart as it suddenly gained four pounds for a single beat; the thought of the last time she’d seen her rainbow in the sky and the fight they’d had, the words they’d said, the tears she’d spilled into her pillow that night.
“Three weeks, it’s been three weeks. Ah get ta hold my wife tonight and everythin’ll be okay, just like back in the day. Less than an hour ‘t go,” she gulped and looked aside at the cat clock on the wall, “then she’ll be two hours late and right on time.”
A fake smile crossed her features, a smile that would placate a customer at her stall, a smile that she’d learned was the only lie she could pull off that nopony could see through, unless they were close enough to her.
A boom sounded outside and her heart soared, there was no way Rainbow Dash would return home without breaking the sound barrier, everypony had to know she was home, after all.
There were a few tense seconds that Applejack spent taking off her apron and smoothing out her mane, her hat on the table to mark her spot. Plates, bowls, tableware, napkins. Everything was ready for this moment, the moment she’d waited for for three weeks. Three weeks of rough sleep, hard chores across the farm she struggled through, talks where Scootaloo would ramble about how awesome her mother was.
This was their week to be a family again.
She stood by the stove, apron on her foreleg ready to be tossed aside with a prepared and practiced gesture to show Rainbow she was just on time, the sound of wood crackling in the fireplace, her breath practically sniffing through her nose as she held her anxiety back. Where the Sam Hill is that darned mare?!
Three minutes later Applejack was about to give up on her routine when the door rumbled then opened. At the sight of blue, Applejack tossed the apron toward the counter and it landed just about where she’d planned it. Her smile becoming genuine as she spoke casually. “Why, Dashing, ya made it just in time. Supper’s-”
She was nearly tackled by Rainbow into a hug, Rainbow nuzzled into Applejack’s muzzle before pulling back and giving a chaste kiss. “Smells great, what’re we havin’?” She broke the hug and hovered over to the table to look it over. “Ugh, didn’t we have this when I left?”
Applejack felt her eyebrow twitch ever so slightly, but she kept her smile since Rainbow was home. “Dash, ya haven’t had any home cookin’ fer nearly a month. Now, sit’n Ah’ll get Scoots so we can have a real meal, as a family,” she put a little tease on the last word that Rainbow snorted at.
She lifted her gaze to the ceiling. “I’ve had plenty of home cooked meals, AJ, from my fans: you know, the thousands of creatures that come to see me in person, you'd never understand.” Rainbow puffed her chest proudly and with a smug look, turned her attention to Applejack. “What’s with that face?”
The mixed emotions couldn’t vie for dominance and came across her expression and through her body language almost all at once, until finally they all seemed to be suppressed by eerie calm. Applejack cleared her throat and inhaled while Rainbow returned to inspecting the table’s meal.
“S-so Rainbow, yer sayin’...” she took another steady breath, “that you’ve been eatin’ with other families the last weeks ya been gone?”
Rainbow shrugged and landed with her back to Applejack to look into the pot on the stove. “Nah, been doing that fer months. Knew you’d be cool with it so I never brought it up, what’s this junk? Hey, AJ? I asked ya somethin’, what’s this stuff?” she pointed a pinion into the pot and turned to look at her wife.
Applejack stood tall, strong, and quietly with her eyes shut. Only her shaky breaths betrayed her, except for the other mare in the room who was oblivious. “Uh, AJ? Ya sleepin’ on me? Is it really that hard workin’ on the farm lately?” she asked sarcastically before trailing off. “I mean, I remember helpin’ here’n there, but I never missed dinner. Well, at least a dinner I liked that I can remember,” she blinked herself back to reality when she saw a tear strike the floor under Applejack.
“Wha-? Why’re you cryin’? If you missed me that much we can just go right upstairs and-”
Pain, sorrow, betrayal and despair won the battle of Applejack’s emotions at the same time, twisting her orange facade into one of near abject misery. She took a hesitant step back with her hind leg and shook her head. “Y-ya… can’t eat with yer family, but you c’n…” she bit back a sob that appeared in her suddenly parched and tender throat.
“Woah, AJ, it’s just breakfast and dinner; it doe-”
“Breakfast and supper?!” Applejack broke into a raged shout and stomped her forehoof. “Ya can’t even send a letter in three weeks’n yer eatin’ with other families?! Dash, Ah swear ta Celestia, if you tell me yer sleepin’ at yer fan’s houses…” she seethed and blinked the fuzzy world back into clarity only for it to turn blurry again.
Rainbow landed and reached her wing to brush her primaries under Applejack’s chin, pulling it back when Applejack grunted and swatted at the touch. “Sheesh, fine, yeah, I eat sometimes. I don’t sleep over ‘cuz it’s against regulations to sleep with fans while on duty and-”
“So ya sleep with them, too?! Rainbow Dash ya low down-” she was quieted when Rainbow’s forehooves pressed into her chest.
“No! I’d never cheat on you without permission or anything,” she stated as a fact, “honest,” she said softly enough to let the truth pass between them. “AJ, I never thought you’d get so mad over a couple meals. If it’s that important to you, I’ll just stop eating when I’m on tour, okay?”
Applejack nickered and pushed Rainbow back with more force than she meant to, but not enough to cause any damage to the flier. “Ya know darn well Ah don’t mean ya should starve, consarn it. Ah’m just… why can’t ya come home ‘t eat once a day, or maybe write home’n tell me what’s goin’ on, or-”
A wing pressed to Applejack’s lips. “AJ, yer sounding controlling. You know I’ve gotta be my own mare, especially when I’m with the ‘Bolts. I can’t just drop everything to-”
“Ah’m not askin’ you ta drop anythin’, just pick up a pencil and paper! Is that so much ta ask?!”
“You know I can’t write that good, and I’m not going to fly back to Ponyville every day. The team and crew’re all I need and you know I’ll eat still,” she tapped her pinion to Applejack’s snout, “just not at fans’s’s houses,” she blinked and zoned out for a second, then returned to the topic. “So, yeah, there’s nothing to it, I’ll just be bored and stay in our hotel rooms.”
A tiny nod replied. “Y-yeah, that’d be a good start,” she flinched back when Rainbow laughed.
“C’mon, AJ. I can’t tour the nation and not see the sights!”
“Then eat at restaurants, chow hall, heck, even a market stand!”
Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “Don’t shout at me, AJ. Ya know I don’t wanna fight.”
“Ya know what, yer not worth it anyway. Ah made supper, so sit’n eat up, Ah’ll get Scoots’n Bloom.”
Rainbow took a spot on the floor at the table beside Scootaloo, across from Applejack. “What about Sweetie Bell?”
“She’s on a diet because Rarity, so she’s gonna stay outside.”
“That mare,” Rainbow snickered, “what if she actually ate a whole meal without puking it up?”
Applejack wiped her eyes on the apron as she passed it. “Ah don’t know or care,” she reached the door and called them in, letting Sweetie know about the issue.
Rainbow made a face of disgust. “Does everything have apples in it?”
“That’s what we do here, on the farm. Work hard and eat the fruits of our labor,” Applejack moved the pot to the cool side of the stove and turned to take a seat.
Rainbow looked at the drinks offered and grimaced at the apple juice that we offered. “AJ, grab me a bottle of soda.” Applejack turned with a genuine smile, glad to help, and grabbed Rainbow one from the fridge. “Thanks, so anything new around town?”
Scootaloo perked up and looked at her mother. “Mom! You wouldn’t believe what mama’s been doing and how much we missed you,” she turned to Rainbow and hugged her, then nuzzled and lay her head onto Rainbow’s shoulder. “Diamond’s been over a lot, there’s been a couple rumors, but nothing really’s going on and…”
Rainbow listened as best she could while trying to placate Applejack’s looks of disapproval until dessert arrived. Rainbow was looking at her daughter while the sauce was ladled over the treat on her plate.
“Oh yeah, best part of any meal is des-sert? What’s this stuff?”
Scootaloo’s mouth clicked as her jaw shut and less than a second later the pot struck the floor, spilling the sauce. She looked up and winced at Applejack’s expression.
Applejack could only stammer past her hurt. “You, wha-...” Scootaloo got up and took her plate in her teeth, excusing herself to eat in the living room while her mother’s talked. “Ya don’t know what it is?”
Rainbow looked at the dessert closely as the sauce ran off it and onto the plate, exposing it. “Oh! It’s a fritter, let me guess,” she rolled her eyes, “apple?”
There was an audible smack as Applejack’s apron struck Rainbow’s head and stayed as she stomped from the room, past Scootaloo, and up the stairs to her room and slammed the door.
“What the hay’s wrong with her, Scoots?”
Scootaloo curled her tail around her flank and gulped. “W-we missed you.”
“That’s it?” Rainbow snorted in frustration, “I miss you all the time, doesn’t mean I’m gonna get all moody.”
“No, it’s just that, well, we don’t really see you anymore and kinda want you home s’more. Not that I don’t love you and the Wonderbolts, but-”
Rainbow waved a forehoof. “Yeah, yeah, I’m still totally awesome. I know,” she moved to ruffle Scootaloo’s mane but missed when the young mare leaned away.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?! What’s going on here with you two?” A door slammed and hoof falls made their way down the stairs. Rainbow quickly flew to the stairs and got a suitcase in her face.
“Get outta my house ya disrespectful daughter of a hog!” Applejack finished with a shove from her head into the luggage bag Rainbow was using as a barrier toward the door. “Get out and take yer dumb,” a shove, “stupid,” a nudge, “selfish…” Applejack stopped and sat just as she’d pressed Rainbow to the door.
She sniffled and let tears fall freely. “Rainbow, Ah used ta be yer fritter. Ya used ta spend all yer time home with us and never would’a taken us fer granted. Wh-what happened ta the mare we loved?”
Rainbow just scowled. “I’m not stupid or selfish, Applejack. I’m a Wonderbolt, and it’s my life long dream come true. Why don’t you understand that? Why does everything about my life have to revolve around you?!”
“And yer daughter! The one we fought ‘t adopt from those mares. The one we took in and took care of fer years,” she gave a firm look at Rainbow, “the filly that idolized ya since b’fore this dream’a yours came true,” her look turned pleading, “what about the mare Ah fell in love with all them years ago? The mare that changed so many lives for the-”
“I am changing lives! Ponies and other creatures see me in my shows and wanna be more like me, me. Not Twilight, Soarin, Spitfire, and sure as spit not you.”
“You hush up with that talk, Rainbow Da-”
“No! What’ve you ever done to be cool or awesome? Who wants to be like you when all you do is farm apples and corn and junk? Who?!”
A quiet cry came from the den and Applejack’s ears perked and swiveled just as she got up and cantered toward the room with practiced urgency. She picked the infant foal off the floor and held her in a foreleg. “What about yer son, Dash? What are ya gonna teach him?” she asked moving to the couch and grabbing a bottle from between the cushions.
“I don’t have to worry about anything, he was born from greatness so-”
“That’s not enough!” her attention turned to the baby crying in her forelegs. “Hush, baby, mama didn’t mean ‘t yell with ya so close,” she rocked the baby and gave a soft look while placing the nipple of the bottle into his mouth. She looked back at Rainbow. “Ah want ya home, Dash, we all do.”
Rainbow floated into the room and landed just inside the threshold, rubbing a forehoof on her other leg. “Uh, AJ, look… I, uh… I’m just gonna,” she nodded her head behind her.
Applejack got up and stomped toward her with the baby and then gently pressed the baby into Rainbow’s chest. “Take him, Dash. Ya don’t hold him, talk with him, ya went dry a week after he was born cuz ya didn’t feed’m. He needs his mom.”
Rainbow looked down and then took to a hover, backing away. “I never asked to be a mom. I thought you were gonna have the first one,” she replied timidly as Applejack moved closer holding the baby out.
“Ya never ask ta be a parent, Rainbow. All you can do is the best you can when they come along. We all need you, Rainbow Dash, ta be the mother to them I can’t be. Ah need the rest of my circle to be completed, by you.”
Rainbow shook her head and backed to the door, opened it with a foreleg and picked up the bag. “AJ, I’m not that mare anymore and you have to accept that I have to live my dreams just like you are.”
The baby was held close to Applejack again, whimpering as it suckled the bottle and not minding the tears dampening his side. “Ya think this’ my dream? T’ work my life away, being a single parent while the love of mah life lives it up across the world? Dinin’ and partyin’ with the ponies that only love what she represents and not who she is.”
Rainbow sneered and was about to shout back when she noticed the baby and quietly growled. “Goodbye, AJ. I’ll write you a letter.”
She took off into the evening sky, glancing back only once to see Applejack, Scootaloo, and her son watching her, shrinking below her. Shrinking like the light of a candle as it burns itself out, like the fires of love and desire that once burned in her heart until she was encompassed by darkness.
…
Rainbow snorted and flinched awake, her wings sent the blanket off her and Applejack, startling the mare awake as Rainbow looked around and finally caught the gaze of her wife.
“Rainbow?! Ya been cryin’? Are ya hurt?” Applejack asked, sitting up and leaning over Rainbow as the mare caught her breath and hugged into her firm muscled chest. She lay on top of her and held Rainbow as she quietly wept.
“AJ?”
She leaned back. “Yeah, Sugarcube?”
Rainbow pressed her lips to Applejack’s and shared a sad kiss. “You’re here, and we love each other, right?”
Applejack could only raise an eyebrow. “Of course. We’re a family, nothin’s gonna change that,” she gave Rainbow a kiss on her forehead and lay back down, patting her chest. Rainbow climbed and lay on her, still shaky.
“I had a nightmare, AJ. A terrible one where I was a Wonderbolt-”
“Never thought I’d hear ya say that,” Applejack chuckled.
“- I was a Wonderbolt and I didn’t care about you or Scoots, our son was just annoying and I didn’t feed him or love any of you and, and-” her body was racked with trembles and the soothing rubs and noised vibrating through Applejack’s chest helped her calm.
“And then what happened?”
Rainbow’s voice cracked. “I hated your food, I didn’t know what a fritter was and you almost kicked me out of the house,” she whimpered, “I didn’t wanna be around Scoots and then I just flew away. I just left you and everything to eat at other pony’s houses and I was just,” her hold on Applejack tightened.
“Did ya cheat on me in yer dream?” Applejack asked and smiled when Rainbow furiously shook her head.
“No, not even in my dreams would I leave you or do some other creature. AJ, I was a monster.”
Applejack snorted and held the petite pegasus closer. “Dashing, ya weren’t a monster. You were just selfish. Now, it can seem like a monstrous thing to do that at times, but everypony has a right to it once in a while. Plus, it was just a dream, right?”
“If this’ the dream, AJ, don’t ever let me wake up,” Rainbow nuzzled Applejack and pressed her ear to her chest. “I can hear your heart beating, AJ. I don’t wanna break it.”
“D’awwww, c’mere ya sappy sack’a suds,” Applejack turned to her side and pulled Rainbow into a hug. “Ya say the sweetest things, ya know that?”
Rainbow nodded slightly. “What happens in our bed, stays in our bed, right?” Applejack replied with a nod and squeeze with her hug. “Then hold me, please?”
“Ya don’t even have to ask, Dashing.”
Rainbow grinned and leaned back, looked into the freckled mare’s emerald eye, and gave one more kiss before turning away and folding her wings to her body. When Applejack slid a foreleg under her pillow and the other over her barrel, then pulled her close all she could do was sigh contentedly and scoot back a little into the embrace.
“I love you, AJ, my whole family, too.”
“And we’re nothin’ without a rainbow in our lives. Sweet dreams, Sugarcube.”
With a final hum of comfort they let sleep claim them again, the worry and dream were destined to stay just as they were.
Author's Note
Standard stuff: No editor or anything, just wrote this because it's been in my head for a little while and I did end it in a dream because Appledash is love and what happens in the safe place of their bed stays there!
It's where Rainbow can let down her walls and guards with Applejack to keep her grounded. As it were.
