Date unknown. Day 1.
I’ve found myself alone in a forested area, I...don’t fully recall how I arrived here. One moment I was with my friends at a convention, the next I was here with this journal. The forest itself seems old. Watchful. Like something just out of sight is keeping a close eye on me.
Ah, I should probably put down my name in case someone else finds this, shouldn’t I? I am...well, perhaps in light of recent events I should say that my old name is unimportant. From now on, the world may call me Jekyll. Doctor Henry Jekyll. I shall take the name of a legend due to the costume I was wearing before I found myself in this world and I never was overly fond of my own name.
I’ve seen smoke in the distance and have decided to investigate. Perhaps I may find civilisation and a way back home. But somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear a small voice telling me that I should avoid it, but as a scientist I cannot avoid a conclusion just because I am scared, so too I cannot give up on the chance of seeing people again.
June 14th, 1832 Day 2.
I can scarcely believe my eyes, I am in a town filled with colourful, talking ponies! But believe it I must, for there is overwhelming evidence that this is real.
Ah, perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. The smoke I found was from a nearby town. Gallopsdale. I still can't believe the pun. Once I arrived I was caused a slight ruckus, the townsfolk thinking I was a monster come out of the forest, the Everfree Forest they call it, and I was there to harm them. I quickly caught on and explained myself. Once they realised I could talk and wasn't some rampaging beast they calmed down quickly.
It was then I met True Knowledge, he, like myself, was a scientist, valuing the truth of the world. We quickly bonded over our love for science and became fast friends, despite the obvious difference in species. True Knowledge spoke to me all through the night, teaching me of this new world I found myself in. He showed me his experiments and, if I am honest, he is ahead of his time. He is conducting experiments maybe one or two hundred years ahead of the time. If he manages to succeed then he says that the world shall change for the better. He has even been asked to appear in front of Princess Celestia, the ruler of this nation and apparent raiser of the sun, to which I have to laugh at, to talk about his latest experiment tomorrow. He even asked me to come with him. I would have been a fool to refuse him.
June 15th, 1832.
Today we traveled to Canterlot. We set off at first light and by the time we arrived it was starting to become early evening. But the walk just gave us more time to talk, I even offered a few theories to some questions he was unable to answer. When I first saw Canterlot I was at a loss for words. A majestic city on the side of a mountain. I was in awe of the marvel, it took True nudging me to snap out of it. After the view of the city from the outside the inside was just as interesting, if not quite as awe inspiring. I saw a few of the high class looking down on us and sneering. I suppose some things never change.
We quickly met with Princess Celestia. She seemed quick witted, if not with the soul of a scientist, she could at least follow True’s talk. Some of the things True brought up were interesting and I planned to discuss them with him at a later date. Afterwards Celestia approached me and asked me several questions about my species and how I’d ended up here. I told her all I could remember, despite a small voice telling me not to. It was then I realised that the voice was not my own, but rather it belonged to something else. I have a voice, albit small and quiet, inside my head. She noticed and asked me if I was all right. I made some excuse about the trip leaving me tired.
She believed me and before True and I left she asked us to spend the night in the castle because she wants to show us something come morning. We readily agreed.
June 16th, 1832.
True and I met Celestia for breakfast and she delivered such an amazing surprise! Not only did she know what my species ate and had meat served, she also revealed two guests joining us! Both of them fellow humans!
There was a man in his mid forties, about a decade older than me, I’d say, in a black suit and a professional air about him. And then there was the woman. At the time I felt my heart skip a beat, such is her beauty. Her fiery hair and fierce blue eyes betraying the demure air she was projecting. My god, this feeling...I like it.
Her name was Lilly and the man was called Alexander, her butler. Apparently she had been fiddling with some old music box she had found in her mansion’s attic one day, yeah, apparently her family is rich back on Earth, when Alexander came to collect her and the music box suddenly exploded into light, then the next thing they knew was they were in the castle, laying on the floor in front of Celestia.
After a...rocky start, mostly due to me staring, Lilly and I got on well, with Alexander and True discussing work. After eating Celestia approached me and asked if I had a doctorate in this world. When I sadly admitted I didn’t she offered me a chance to gain one in this world I readily agreed. If anything, that got Lilly talking to me even more. I enter Canterlot University on the 25th. I will become a Doctor here as well, after all, I’ve done it once, a second time shouldn’t be too hard.
August 19th, 1832.
University life is going well, it’s hard but rewarding work. I finally worked up the courage and asked Lilly out today. And she accepted! I plan on taking her to the local restaurant, I should be able to afford it with the bits Celestia keeps sending me to live off. True keeps dropping in and chatting with me. He is my best friend, I don’t know how I could ever thank him for all he’s done. He wants to introduce me to his family next weekend, it should be fun.
Celestia keeps visiting me and inviting me over for drinks and meals, I think she’s lonely. If that’s the case then I’m happy to keep her company.
August 25th, 1832.
The date was a success! We had a wonderful time and she even gave me a kiss! I feel alive! We’ve already made plans for another date and I can’t wait!
University work is getting harder, I think after these next few weeks I won’t find much time to dedicate to both Lilly, True and this journal. Although the professors do say I’ve already gotten through two years worth of work. I suppose that my previous doctorate on Earth helps in that regard.
September 1st, 1832.
I met True’s family today. His parents were kind and welcoming, and his little brother was as excitable and energetic as all small children are. It was his sister that was...cold. She kept shooting him glares when she thought no one was looking. I wonder if it’s related to the paper he published last week? He is getting a lot of attention and acknowledgement for it.
The meal was delicious and other than his sister the company was wonderful, it made me miss my own family. But...who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to have my own in this world. I hope so.
January 2nd, 1833.
True has been spending a lot of time in Canterlot these days, most likely because he’s been making discovery after discovery recently. His name is on everyone’s lips, he’s started to become famous. In a few years I know his research will change the world! He’s already pushed for an early version of a steam train to make travel easier. I wonder how far he’ll go by the time he’s done?
January 22nd, 1833.
It is my birthday today. Lilly threw a grand party for me and we spent so long just dancing as True just sung the birthday song to me over and over, increasingly off key. When he stopped I spotted him blushing as he slow danced with some cute mare.
Overall? A hell of a thirty sixth birthday.
February 15th, 1833.
Lilly and I had a wonderful Valentine’s Day yesterday, or rather Hearts And Hooves Day, as it’s known here. I took her to a theatre show and afterwards we went back to my small home and made love. I do think I love her. It hurts to know it will be a while before I see her again, but university work is picking up again and I don’t know when I’ll have free time again. But I know when I do she’ll be there.
February 23rd, 1833.
True came around today, he somehow found out about me and Lilly and teased me relentlessly about it, asking when the wedding was and such. He’s such a pain. But I did tease him about the mare I’d spotted him with, making him go bright red. He quickly made up some excuse and left after that. Heh, he’s so easily flustered.
April 8th, 1833.
I’m getting slightly worried about True. I haven’t seen him since the end of February. I mean, it’s possible he’s just hiding from his rabid fans and reporters, he’s that popular now, but he’s missed our weekly meetings. He’s never missed them. If he doesn’t show up next week I’ll take the issue to Celestia, I have a few weeks off, I might as well use them to stretch my legs a little.
April 10th, 1833.
I found out why True had been missing the past few weeks. His body washed up in the lake this morning. He was murdered. My friend was murdered by some bastard! Why?! He was a good man! Were his contributions towards the poor and needy not enough?! I must discover who killed him, the local police have gladly accepted my assistance, never once considering that I may be in a quest for vengeance. It may be dirty but even the voice in my head agrees, the time for revenge is now!
I will avenge you, True, and see your killer’s head mounted upon a pike for all to see!
April 15th, 1833.
Lilly begs me to take a break. I almost snapped at her. I need to avenge him. Why doesn’t she get that?
The libraries held no clues, nor do the pubs or restaurants.
There’s a clue out there somewhere! I just need to find it!
May 30th, 1833.
I have returned to the university. I still haven’t found True’s killer. I’ve been sleeping badly, I can’t help but think of where I should search next. I do my work quick and fast, so I can get back to my search, but not for a second do I do sloppy work.
I made things up with Lilly and explained everything, why I needed to catch the killer, why I’m so angry, why I can’t rest until the killer has been caught.
She understands and she wants the killer caught too. She told me to just remember I had to look after myself, for her.
I’ve been a fool. I’ve been neglecting her due to my need for vengeance.
She told me when I find the killer I am to rip his balls off and break his spine.
God, I love that woman.
September 18th, 1833.
I found the killer. It was True’s own sister, jealous of his achievements while she had done nothing with her life. She said she didn’t know what she was doing. That madness took her. She sobbed as Celestia sentenced her to life in the dungeons. I am petitioning to get the death sentence reinstated for those convicted of murder. She doesn’t deserve a cell for the rest of her life after she took such a wonderful mind from us all! She deserves to hang!
Celestia is trying to get me to see ‘reason’. Reason is letting the bitch die! If she doesn’t then True’s name is stained for all eternity! Lilly agrees with me, that bitch is going to pay with her life!
September 30th, 1833.
We have gathered a group of like minded individuals. The bitch is to die! We must make Celestia see this! If she doesn’t then what is the point of the law?!
October 1st, 1833.
When we confronted Celestia she informed us that True’s sister has commited suicide from guilt. She slit her throat with a smashed plate yesterday.
I don’t understand. If she was willing to kill her own brother she must have had the will to simply sit in a cell!
There’s still so much I don’t understand about the mind.
October 21st, 1833.
I finished my studies today. Graduation takes place next week. It gives me more time to spend with Lilly and contemplate why people, good people do evil.
October 28th, 1833.
Celestia was in charge of the graduation, as she shook my hand she asked me to go up to the castle tomorrow. Lilly on the other hand was ecstatic, she took my hand and immediately dragged me to her mansion. I still wonder what she did to get Celestia to give her so much money. As we entered her home she dragged me to the ballroom and we danced for hours to music. Just danced. She’s calling me now.
October 29th, 1833.
Celestia wants me to research into the evil of the soul. Of what makes a man take leave of his senses and commit murder. Of what makes us so susceptible to such darkness.
March 24th, 1834.
I have been busy. Busy ignoring Lord Shine. That pony recently moved into Canterlot with his wife and keeps insisting on trying to court Lilly, despite her denying him at every turn. I worry, despite her telling me that if he tries touching her she’ll break his spine.
Hell of a woman.
But Shine also has it out for me, insulting me and questioning the validity of my work at every step. He is quickly becoming an important figure in the nobility around here, a corrupt noble, but still important.
My work beckons me, along with plans for a date with Lilly tonight. I do love her, and it may be too soon, but I have bought a ring. I plan to ask for her hand in marriage soon.
April 2nd, 1834.
Shine has blocked my work again! He has restricted books that I need, causing me to miss my date with Lilly! Luckily she was understanding and told me that while waiting for me Shine had approached her and tried to touch her. In return she brought her chair against his leg and broke it, and the last she saw he was being carted away to the hospital.
She is a hell of a woman!
We shared laughter and I almost proposed there and then. But I chickened out.
Though Shine is quickly becoming a large problem. I just hope he stops before he goes too far.
July 16th, 1834.
I proposed to Lilly today. And to my everlasting delight she accepted! We are to be wed on the new year. By god, I did it! I will spend the rest of my life by her side.
August 20th, 1834.
I have made leaps and bounds in my work! Evil, I have discovered, lies in each and every one of us! Dormant in many cases, but it is still there! When I come across a prostitute on the night streets the thought of using her flickered across my mind for a split second before I quickly dismissed it, but it does exist.
I wonder...is it possible to separate the two? The voice in my head whispers that it is possible.
I have much work to do before this experiment can even begin.
September 30th, 1834. Day 1 of experiment.
If I could remove the evil within ourselves, life would become much more bearable for the princess. Perhaps even I could help myself and remove the small voice inside my head. I could even prevent things like True’s murder from ever happening again! I know this is possible, I simply need to understand the science behind it!
December 20th, 1834. Week 8 into experiment.
I have taken a well needed break from my work after Lilly came in and dragged me out. I suppose I should have spent more time with her, but the possibilities are too important to let slip by! But...I can't neglect my social life, it has already suffered as it is. I need to find a balance.
January 1st, 1835.
Today was our wedding day. Celestia herself married us and has let us borrow her beach house for our honeymoon. Lilly looked beautiful as Alexander walked her down the aisle. There aren't enough words to describe how I feel. I love her with all my heart. But tonight she brought up a topic that left me with no words.
Children.
August 19th, 1835. Week 47 into experiment.
I find that this experiment consumes me. I find myself putting more effort into the task than I do my wife. I need to know why people give in to the madness in their hearts! I can’t think of anything else! I must find out why people revel in murder and madness! I need to discover if it is at all possible to separate the evil from us all. Because, by god, I must! If I can only discover what makes people turn on the light! I must know!
My beloved and I have had no luck at conceiving children yet, despite the many times we have tried. I am beginning to think one of us may be incapable of having children. That pains me more than I ever thought it would.
November 3rd, 1835. Year 1, week 6 into experiment.
After a year of experimentation I have discovered one constant that brings both despair and a desperate urge to continue through with my experiment.
Evil is always stronger than good. Pressed enough everyone will give in to evil. Good is engaged in a hopeless and overwhelming fight! I must do everything in my power to balance the scales! Otherwise we may all be doomed to an eternity of war, hatred and death! I cannot allow that to come to pass!
Now I know the truth I cannot help but see the evil all around me! In the prositutes, the greedy, the fat, the rich, the poor! And...even inside myself. The only ones I don’t see it in are Lilly and Alexander. For them I will succeed!
December 22nd, 1836. Year 2, week 13 into experiment.
I have acquired several mind cleansing materials used by ancient monks in their rituals and meditation. The first dozen experiments were a complete failure. The rats devolved into frenzies of fighting and eating themselves. Lord Shine has been bombarding me with ridiculous demands and constantly made a mockery of my goals! In the meantime...Lilly is still not pregnant. Maybe after this experiment is over I can look into something to help us.
June 17th, 1837. Year 2, week 38 into experiment.
My continued studies and experiments on rats has had remarkable progress in such a short time! All rats have given up their constant ravenous hunger and violent tendencies.
Now I move onto monkeys.
June 18th, 1837. Year 2, week 38 into experiment.
Lilly has still not fallen pregnant. Am I the problem?
November 15th, 1838. Year 4, week 7 into experiment.
I have perfected the formula! The monkeys have been seperated of all evil! I have done it! Now all I must do is present my findings to the University’s Board of Governors, they are the ones who can grant me the last thing I require.
A living, sapient, being.
November 20th, 1838. Year 4, week 8 into experiment.
Damn, Shine! He has wormed his way onto the Board and slandered me in front of all the others! He swayed their views until they rejected me! They told me to halt all research into my experiment! I will not! I will continue my experiments regardless! All these years I’ve spent! They think they can just stop all that time just like that!? Have they no vision?! Those bastards dare lecture me about ethics and morals?!
I will complete my work, and then I will work on guaranteeing Lilly gets pregnant.
December 12th, 1838. Year 4, week 11 into experiment.
It is done. Perfected. I cannot improve my formula any more. I need a sapient being to continue! Perhaps I can pay one of the poor to be my test subject? No. I need to know exactly what is in their system, I can’t be sure that they will tell the truth.
What can I do?
January 4th, 1839. Year 4, week 14 into experiment.
I cannot wait any longer! Celestia has told me of the nobles wanting to shut down my experiments have gained massive support after knowledge of the fate of my failed test subjects has come to light! I was close! So close! I need a sapient test subject and now I shall never have the chance!
I almost gave up. I almost threw it all away. It was only Alexander who stopped me. If he has faith in me then I must too. My dear Lilly...we still have still had no luck conceiving a child and she is taking it hard. She always wanted a family and I can’t even give her that. This large mansion is getting so quiet and lonely these days.
January 22nd, 1839. Year 4, week 17 into experiment.
This is the day I complete my experiment. Alexander has hope in me, Lilly believes in me and I will not fail them!
Even the little voice inside is urging me on. It’s right. I’ve come too far to back out now.
It’s right. I must use myself. There is no choice.
I know I can help the world with my formula. This is my chance! I’ve done it! I didn’t need the University! I can’t wait to see Shine’s face when he sees I succeeded! This is the day my dreams reach fruition!
This is it. Wish me luck.
Such a small thing. So many memories are stored in this little thing, so much anger, lust and rage. Can’t believe the little fool actually never realised what I was, just goes to show that no matter how righteous or noble your goal, nothing matters if you’re still an idiot! Now, now, now. What message should I leave for the good Doctor before I explore this world on my own legs? Ah, yes. That should do very well.
I AM EDWARD HYDE.
January 23rd, 1839.
All experiments have been discontinued. Hyde. It was Hyde. It had always been Hyde. It had been him to push me into such desperation as to actually drink an experimental formula! I can remember what he did. He went to the Shine household and started destroying it. Then he went and threatened Lord Shine with the lives of his children and wife. Then he beat him into unconsciousness with his bare hands.
And...god help me, but I enjoyed the look on his face as Hyde attacked him. He is free to do what I dare not to! To engage in my darker urges and impulses with no threat of consequence to me, for Hyde looks completely different to me. I find myself feeling more alive than ever. Perhaps...it would not be so bad to let him free a few more nights? No one is getting too hurt. And it would give me some much needed stress relief after these long years of experimentation. Is it really so wrong to indulge in the darker human feelings?
This sensation...as Hyde I am decades younger, a man in his early twenties at the oldest, I feel...happy, filled with some...sweet sensation, and easily twice as alive and...tenfold more wicked, I feel delighted and filled with a pleasant thrilled buzz, like a good whiskey.
February 9th, 1839.
This new experiment is in its third week. I have been letting Hyde loose more and more, whilst trying to create a new formula to inhibit these feelings of mine. All the while I know Hyde watches, yet his presence disappears inside my mind, like a hot breath in a chilly wind, he can only be found when he wishes to.
Nightmares have begun attacking me every night. The most terrible pain overcomes me at night, terrifying my sweet Lilly. I...I must find a cure.
February 24th, 1839.
I have refused to let Hyde out again since my last entry and he has begun attacking me from within, howling in rage, threatening me and Lilly at all hours of the day and causing my body to go into tremors. Lilly is scared for me, pleading for me to go to the hospital, but they can’t help me. I had to concoct some excuse about having a slight allergic reaction.
There can only be one reason for it all! Hyde wants me to take the formula! I...I cannot bare the agony much longer and I fear I shall fall to his wishes soon!
February 28th, 1839.
I let Hyde out last night. He went and had his way with a streetwalker last night before beating her when she asked for payment. My only relief is that my earlier experiments have proven that as a pony there is no chance of her falling pregnant from a human. But I don’t know how much more I can take! I want him gone! Maybe...maybe if I do as he wishes he will let me rest? I must take the formula again.
March 2nd, 1839.
Hyde has let me have several peaceful nights. I...simply need to keep drinking the formula.
March 20th, 1839.
I awoke this morning to discover Hyde no longer needs the potion to take control! He is able to do as he wishes with my body as I sleep! He mocks and taunts me about it as I walk even now!
I found several cases of the formula in my lab, by god, what is he up to now?!
I have taken a potion to hopefully repel Hyde’s influence and control.
March 22nd, 1839.
Hyde...by god...he killed someone last night. He had his way with a streetwalker then he wrung her neck. He...by god, he’s a monster! How could I have been so naive?! He is pure evil! I should have seen this coming, he has slowly been getting bolder and bolder! If I can no longer hold him back then I must work on a cure!
April 2nd, 1839.
The bodies are beginning to pile up. Lord Shine among them. I never wanted him dead! I...must take actions! There must be something I can do! What have I done to myself?!
Lilly is my sole comfort.
I must delve back into my work. If not for my sake then for hers!
July 5th, 1839.
Hyde...he must be stopped. Last night he...he took my sweet Lilly whilst she was asleep. I was content to let him have his way with the streetwalkers, but NOT MY WIFE! She is mine to hold and touch, no one else’s! I know it is childish but this morning I slept with her when she woke, in an attempt to cleanse Hyde’s taint from her.
July 19th, 1839.
I went to see Celestia today and was about to explain when Hyde whispered that she would separate Lilly and I. I cannot bare that thought! In the end I asked for her help on getting Lilly pregnant. She had no advice other than keep trying.
July 27th, 1839.
The city has gone mad! There are riots in the streets, accusations, and attacks all across the city. And all because of Hyde. He just laughs at the chaos in the streets. My god, he wants this. I need to work harder.
August 21st, 1839.
I’m losing control. Hyde is here taking control at random intervals during the day. I dare not think about how much longer I can stay as myself before Hyde takes complete control. Not too long. And...dear god imaginary friends aren’t going to help I can feel myself slipping away.
I don’t want to die. Not like this.
I know I can end him by suicide, but...Too much of a coward, Jekyll? I don’t want to do that to Lilly. Sweet, Lilly, she tastes so good! ROT IN HELL, HYDE!
September 4th, 1839.
Damn Hyde to hell! You love me really. Lilly has grown pregnant and I feel joy, but at the same time I have no idea if the child is mine or Hyde’s! What a shock! Will you abandon her now? Just like your daddy did! We slept with her at such a similar time that it could be either of ours! I’m hoping it’s mine! What fun it will be with two monsters in this world! Or...would Hyde’s genetics be the same as mine? I don’t know, and I can’t find out! It’s not like I could just do a DNA test on the child after it is born! This world doesn’t have the technology and there’s not a spell for such a thing! Such a poor shame, Doctor!
September 6th, 1839.
I visited Celestia today, to let her know of Lilly’s pregnancy and she let it slip of a magical mirror that leads to another world. A human world. I plan on taking my family and leaving this world behind. For good. Perhaps it is only due to the magic of this world that Hyde is able to live? If so then this magicless world shall kill him! I am you, without your mask, Jekyll! To kill me you must kill yourself! And if not...I may have to take drastic measures. I told her I will return in a few weeks, that will have to be enough time to pack our belongings, Lilly may not understand, but I...will have to make her understand.
September 17th, 1839.
I...have had a lot to think about. Have you, my foolish Doctor? Yes, Hyde. I have. Well, well, the fool is answering me. Why through the journal, though? If we are to die. Lilly and our child deserve to know the truth. ...Agreed.
Am I a good man? If Hyde is my shadow, does that make me inherently evil? I have tried to do right by this world. I tried to make a change for the better. Does that even matter because of Hyde? Now no one will know of Edward Hyde. I can set myself free in the new world. Free from the nightmares this world, free of Hyde.
Really?! You really think I’d let you go free?! You are indeed a fool, Jekyll. Sorry to say this, oh, who am I kidding, no I’m not! You’ll never be free of me, my shadow!
All that you are, Hyde is a twisted reflection! All I have to do is close my eyes and you disappear into the wind!
No! I’m what you see when you look in a mirror! I am you!
No! I will end this haunting nightmare! All I have to do is kill myself!
THEN DO IT, JEKYLL! DO IT!
That’s what you want me to do.
Coward. Soon you’ll lose all control. I look forwards to that day, my pale reflection. I will live inside you forevermore!
No! You will not, Hyde! I shall find a cure!
No, no! For I know they will never separate us. NEVER! It’s over! As you die, I shall become you!
No...leave me be, Hyde. Just...leave me alone.
You idiot. I am you!
No, you are not! You...no!
You don’t see it?! Without your reservations, without your social bindings, you are me!
You lie!
I am pure! And you are Hyde!
No! Lies! All of it! When you die I hope you rot in hell!
And I’ll see you there, Jekyll!
September 27th.
Celestia told me that the mirror is a pale replica of the original. She fears it will shatter after a single use. I told her that is fine. I plan on never returning here, I would be quickly outed...for my condition. We leave next week.
Henry...the poor soul. After we arrived in London he changed even more. It all came to a head on young Conor’s first birthday, in 1841. He lost control of himself and the monstrous side of him emerged. I had known about it for a long time, but to see it with my own eyes was something else. He told us to run away before the beast Hyde took over. I pulled out my revolver and stood between Lady Lilly and young Master Conor. Hyde started to shake and his face changed back to Henry long enough for him to say his goodbyes before he grabbed a nearby sword and stabbed himself with it.
As he lay on the floor, dying, I tried to do what I could to help him, but he waved me off, smiling and giving Hyde one final insult as he told Lady Lilly that he loved her and their son and just kept repeating her name until he died and his body changed back to his normal form.
I closed the journal, along with the additional page, with a sigh. So that was what happened to my ancestor. While interesting and...odd, what was with all the references to ponies and magic? It was otherwise useless. “I had hoped that would have helped. Why couldn’t he have said what the potion contained? That would have at least been helpful.”
I glanced into the glass cabinet and my twisted reflection sneered back, “Aw, looks like you’re stuck with me after all!” Hyde laughed sinisterly.