Our story begins on the Beach, the Students from Canterlot High are all having fun hanging out together, and Trixie of course has Snips & Snails waiting on her hand & foot,
Sunset Shimmer stops from playing her phone video game for a moment to ask Trixie "Gee Trix, you sure seem to be enjoying yourself",
Trixie replies "When The Great & Powerful Trixie lounges, she does it in style",
Sunset responds "But don't you think that you're taking advantage of Snips & Snails like that?",
Trixie replies "Are you kidding me? These two practically worship the very ground Trixie walks upon, besides if You're not going to be using them anymore, I may as well not let their services go to waste",
Suddenly, Snails starts sniffing around and says "Hey(sniff sniff), What is that Wonderful Smell?",
Then Snips starts sniffing as well & says "Wow! That's the Best Smell I ever Smelled",
Trixie then starts sniffing as well and says "(humph), Trixie's Great & Powerful Nose doesn't smell anything, besides the scent of her own Marvelousness",
Then Timber Spruce says "How can you Not smell this scent, it smells greater than Anything I've ever smelled before, and I grew-up surrounded by a lush forest",
Then Micro Chips says something very nerdy to describe it,
And Sandalwood says "I've had Aromatherapy before, but none of it compares to This Scent",
Even Bulk Biceps says "Yeah Man, it's totally getting me Amped-Up!,
The Girls keep sniffing around, and Fluttershy then says "I'm sorry but I haven't a clue as to what you're all talking about",
Rainbow Dash then says "Yeah, if this scent is so great how come We Can't Smell it?",
Then Brawly Beats says "Dudes,(then points to something to the left off screen & says) It's coming from Her!",
Then we see from another part of the beach, a girl about the same age & same figure as the Human Mane 6 walking on the beach, panning the camera from her feet up, we see she has Pink-ish-Purple Skin, she's wearing two completely different kinds of sandals that don't match, she's wearing a two-piece bikini that's in a Patch-Work style, like someone took a bunch of different pieces of fabric & sewed it all together to make a bikini, she's also wearing an odd looking belt-like device around her lower waist, her hair is Dark Purple with White Highlights, is big & curly, and is so long that it covers her butt from the backside as if she were wearing a medium-length cape, she's also wearing a green & yellow propeller beanie on top of her head, and she's wearing a pair of large sunglasses that have the image of exaggerated Anime-Style eyes on them, then she takes off her sunglasses with her eyes closed, then she waits a few seconds, then she opens her eyes really wide while letting loose a Huge grin like the Cheshire Cat of Alice in Wonderland, and we see that her Real Eyes are even weirder than her sunglasses, because she has Pink Spirals on Dark Purple Irises instead of Black Pupils,
Then every male character on the beach rushes over to the Spiral-Eyed Girl, including Snips & Snails, and Trixie is all "Hey, HEY!",
Applejack then says "Now what do you suppose has them all in a tizzy?",
Rarity then says "Yes how could they be attracted to someone with such a Dreadful taste in fashion, her outfit looks like something straight out of Frankensteed, and what is with her Eyes?",
Sci-Twi then says "Wait a minute, those eyes, that hair, that hat, I know I've seen her before,(she then looks through a stack of Science Magazines, then she finds the one she was looking for and says) Here she is, (she then shows off the cover to everyone and reads some articles in the Magazine while saying) That's Screwball, she's a childhood prodigy who attends the Entropy Academy for Super Geniuses, when she was little she needed to wear glasses, so she built a machine to give herself corrective eye surgery, it did greatly improve her eye-sight, but left her with spirals replacing her pupils, that belt she wears is actually a device that contains a robotic third arm, Screwball herself claims that she was inspired to make that by the tail of the Ahuizotl character from mythology used in the Daring Do franchise, and that beanie she wears is actually a Gravity Manipulation device that she can focus on herself to use to enable her to Fly, and control the gravitational pull of anything she touches to create the illusion of her possessing Super Human Strength, some say she's a Mad Genius, others say she's Totally Nuts, but it's all a matter of opinion",
Pinkie then says "WOW, That girl sounds like she'd be a riot at parties!",
Trixie then says "Who cares about all of that, why is every boy at the beach so in to her so much?",
Sunset says "Something is strange about that, we'd better see what's going on",
The other girls agree & all head towards Screwball,
Meanwhile we see Screwball surrounded by human males of all kinds, wanting to get close to her, she then speaks in a high-pitched, almost childish voice & says "Well it seems like the test-run is successful, (then she gets a bit uncomfortable & says)Though I may need to delude the formula quite a bit",
We then hear Sunset say "Formula? (then we turn our attention to all the other girls who came over to see Screwball & Sunset continues to ask)What Formula?",
Screwball then pulls out a small 1.6907oz. vial and says "Well you see, I've invented a new type of perfume made from Super Concentrated Bio-Engenered Animal Pheromones, Genetically Altered to work on Humans, Guaranteed to have anyone develop a strong sense of Animal Magnetism towards the opposite gender and bring out their Wild Side, I came out here to test this experimental prototype in an open public location, exposing myself to only a single drop of it(which she points out to a spot on the back of her neck), (then with a bit of a worried expression she says)though the results are a bit greater than I had anticipated, maybe I should reduce the fragrance concentration level from Extrait de Parfum down to Eau Fraiche(speaking with a French Accent on those two phrases)",
Then Applejack says "So That's what's been going on here",
Then Rarity says "Yes it does explain a lot",
Then Trixie says "Yeah Whatever let Us try some of that stuff",
But then Screwball leaps up & is floating in mid-air while sticking out her finger, rocking it back & forth while saying "Uh-uh-uh, Not so fast",
Then with everyone surprised by the fact that Screwball was floating, all of the males were frantically wanting her to come back down, and Sci-Twi says "So it's True, Your hat IS a Gravity Controlling Device!",
Screwball then performs a back-flip while saying "Yepperooni! But more importantly, I can't just let everyone use this stuff, This Formula was designed to make it so that anyone who was already exposed to it, would become immune to it's effects, so if everyone on the beach was using it, then nobody but those Outside the beach would be attracted to it, and besides it's still in the experimental stages so it would be...unethical, for me to just give out a prototype that doesn't have all the bugs worked out",
Then Trixie says "Aw Come On, You got every last guy on the whole beach fawning over you, and it's so not Fair, what good is coming to the beach and Not having any guys around to admire you?",
Screwball then makes an annoyed expression and says "Fine, tell you what I'm gonna do, to help keep things 'Fair', I'll expose One of these guys to the perfume, so that all of you ladies will have someone You can fawn over as well",
Then Sunset says "Um, Are you sure That's a good idea?",
Screwball replies "Nope, but That's half the fun of Experimenting",
But then Bulk Biceps tries to jump as high as he possibly can, and he manages to grab Screwball's long hair, pulling it just enough to jerk her around a little before tearing some of it off, then she accidentally drops the entire container of the perfume, it then shatters upon hitting Timber Spruce on the head, and Timber is then exposed to all of the perfume that Screwball had brought, naturally Timber says "OW! What did you do That for?!",
Screwball then makes a worried expression and says "Oooh, That won't end well",
Timber replies "What do you mean by That?",
Then Timber notices all the other female characters are all intensely staring at him with blank expressions in their faces, and their eyes now just have big black irises with big white pupils in the center like they have rings in their eyes, Timber tries taking a few steps to his right-side, and the girls just turn their heads following Timber's movements, he then asks "Why is everyone looking at me that way?",
Screwball then lands right beside Timber, then activates her robot handed belt to form a tentacled riot-shield to hold back some of the boys, while using her left hand to hold back more of them and telling Timber "Well you see that vial you got hit with contained approximately 1000 Drops worth of my formula, I exposed myself to only one drop so you ended up getting exposed to about 999 times as much as I was",
Timber then says in a very vain manner "Oh, so that means I'm now like 1000 times more attractive, that explains a lot",
Screwball then says "Yeah, that's Not a good thing, since you've been exposed to such a dangerously large amount of Super Concentrated Bio-Engenered Animal Pheromones, it's going to cause any girl around you who isn't me to have their minds overwhelmed by intense levels of Animal Instincts & Primal Urges and blabbity blah blah blah to get straight to the point, they're going to act like a bunch of Wild Animals who will see you as food and will try to Eat you",
Timber replies "EAT ME?! You're kidding me right? You're Kidding Me?!",
Screwball then points towards all the girls with her right hand while saying "Ask THEM if I'm Kidding You",
We then see Sci-Twi on all fours with her feet still touching the ground and she starts acting like a small dog by growling then starts barking,
Rarity is also on all fours, but acting like a house cat by meowing, then she starts hissing & clawing with her hand,
Applejack is on all fours and acting like a cow while mooing,
Sunset Shimmer is on all fours and acting like a horse while whinnying & neighing,
Fluttershy is acting like a small bird by standing on her legs while having her arms bend and flapping them like bird wings while whistling to imitate the chirping & tweeting sounds of a bird,
Rainbow Dash is acting like an eagle or a hawk by standing on her legs while having her arms spread out wide and flapping them like wings while making the screeching sounds of either predatory bird,
Timber then gets really worried and asks "H-How do I stop this, what's the cure?",
Screwball replies "You know what, I actually forgot what it was",
Timber responds "YOU FORGOT?!",
Screwball then says "Hey, when you've got as much information in your head as I do, you tend to misplace some intel here & there, but don't worry, I'll be right here with you to help you out of this jam-",
Suddenly Screwball is yanked away from Timber by Bulk Biceps, who then tells Timber "Dude, quit hogging her all to yourself!",
Then Zephyr Breeze tells Timber "Yeah man, give the rest of us a chance!",
Then has the boys take Screwball away carrying her above their heads, Timber stutters saying "Bu-bu-but Wait, What am I supposed to do now?!"
Screwball then shouts out to him "Well, If I were You, I'd start running away screaming like a little baby right about now!",
Then Timber looks as he sees all of the girls still acting like animals and stampeding towards him, he then takes Screwball's advice by turning around and starts running away screaming like a scared baby,
Timber tries hiding under the pier, then all of the girls stampede past him, he then exhales his breath in relief, but then Screwball appears before him upside-down, which freaks him out,
We then see that Screwball is being hung by her feet by some of the boys on the pier, and Screwball tells Timber "Yeah, hiding won't do you any good, even if you think you've lost them they can just track you down by your smell, and also you may want to look out both behind & above you",
Then Screwball is pulled back up and Timber then looks in the direction Screwball suggested, and he sees Pinkie Pie sticking to the underside of the pier with suction cups on her hands & feet, and she's acting like a gecko, making the sounds of a gecko, even licking her own eyeballs with her tongue like a gecko, this of course creeps Timber out, then Pinkie wall-crawls closer to him, then she lashes out her tongue on Timber's arm to try and chew him, of course Timber screams "Eh-hu-hu-hew" and he runs away,
As Timber is running away, he is later encountered by Trixie, who is on all fours acting like a sheep or a goat going "Baaaa", then she starts charging at him like she plans to ram him with her head, naturally Timber runs away screaming,
Timber then gets the idea that he can probably wash the perfume off, so he runs into the ocean and swims underwater, then he resurfaces a good distance from the land, he then sighs in relief thinking that he's safe,
Then a speed boat full of guys whizzes past him, and we then see a bunch of guys water skiing in a pyramid form with Screwball on top, she then floats off the boy-pyramind, and lands with her feet right on top of the water's surface as if she were actually walking/standing on water right next to Timber, she then looks down at Timber and tells him "If you're thinking about washing the perfume off don't even bother, I designed the perfume to be water-proof so that the wearer couldn't sweat it off, and being in the water pretty much leaves you as a sitting duck, (then she looks to the side and says)oh, here comes the next boat, (she then looks down at Timber again and says)by the way I hope you're a fast swimmer, (she then points right behind him and says)you'll need to be right about now", she then leaps up and lands on another water skiing pyramid of boys and whizzes off screen,
Timber then looks behind himself, and sees what looks like a shark fin, he gets scared as he thinks a shark is coming for him, but then it jumps out of the water, and we see that it's Lyra Heartstrings acting like a shark, with a phony shark fin strapped to her back, and she's chomping her teeth like a shark, then Timber starts swimming away from her, and we see that Lyra is even swimming like a shark,
Timber then swims to the horse-head shaped rock structure right off shore, as he stops to take a breather, a hand reaches out from the water & grabs Timber's foot, Timber then looks down to see what's got his foot, and we see that it's Octavia Melody acting like an octopus, making a bunch of blubbing octopus-like sounds while waving her other hand & her feet around like they were tentacles, Timber then uses his other leg to kick Octavia's hand until she lets go of him,
Timber then starts climbing the rock structure, then we see Derpy leap out of the water, and she is acting like a frog by going "Ribbit, Ribbit", and she chases Timber up the rock structure, Timber runs past the trees at the top, and Derpy just leaps from trunk to trunk on all fours like a frog would, Timber then comes to the cliff of the rock structure, and Derpy is right behind him, with no other choice, Timber gets as close to the very edge as he can, then leaps out as far as he can, missing the rocks at the bottom by mere inches, he then swims as fast as he possibly can fearing that anyone of those girls could be right behind him,
Timber finally makes it back to shore, he stops to catch his breath, only to get bitten on the toe, he then looks behind him to see Bonbon acting like an alligator by crawling on her belly and making hissing, growling & roaring sounds, Timber then starts running again as she starts chasing after him on all fours,
We then find Screwball is teaching the boys how to play the sport known as kibasen aka japanese cavalry battle, with Screwball in a team being carried by three guys, who were decided by drawing straws, as the game goes on, all of the other teams come after Screwball's team as she had anticipated, and with her strategies, she is easily taking the other teams' head-bands,
Timber is then running around trying to reach Screwball while evading all of the kibasen teams, he then tries to ask Screwball for help,
Screwball manages to hear Timber over all of the commotion and shouts out to him "Well they are being attracted to you because of the perfume, so if any of it soaked into you're clothes, maybe you should take them off",
Timber says "What!", but when he notices the other girls coming after him, he decides to take her advice, he starts taking off his clothing, and as he does, a bunch of girls start going after his clothes like a couple of dogs fighting over a scrap of meat, Timber then runs by a shop that sells shorts, he then takes a pair, then he strips off his underpants & puts the shorts on, but still most of the girls keep coming after him,
We later see Screwball showing the boys how to play Footvolley, a sport combining volleyball & football-soccer, where you play volleyball using you're feet instead of you're hands, and with Screwball's gravity manipulation hat, she can pull off some pretty fancy foot-work,
Timber then runs over to Screwball trying to get past the wall of boys surrounding the field, Timber then shouts out to Screwball for help,
With her arms free, Screwball takes out a megaphone and says to Timber while still playing "Well since the perfume landed on your head, most of it probably seeped into your hair, so perhaps if you shave off all the hair on you're head it will lessen the scent",
Timber then says "Oh No, This do is my Crowning Glory, and you Do Not clip the Lion's Mane while he Roars!",
Suddenly he hears Torch Song(of the Wondertones) Roaring & acting like a lion,
Then Timber is like "Well maybe I'm due for a haircut anyways", then he runs off, he runs towards the barber shop, trying his hardest to evade every girl in his path, including a female lifeguard who thinks she's a monkey, he then enters the barber shop, takes a fully charged battery operated electric shears, and gets out of the barber shop while evading a mother wearing a carrier around her waist holding her little daughter and hopping around to mimic a kangaroo with a joey in it's pouch, Timber then uses the shears to shave all of his hair off his head, as his hair falls to the ground, some girls stop to actually eat his hair, but most of them are still after him,
We then find Bulk Biceps showing off his strength by lifting a bunch of guys up over his head at one time, then Screwball shows off her hat's gravity manipulation capabilities by lifting up Bulk above her head, while holding both of Bulk's feet in just one hand, and the crowd of guys around them are very impressed by this trick,
Then a very desperate Timber Spruce(now with a shaved head) pushes through the crowd, comes up to Screwball and begs her for help,
Screwball then says "Well since this whole thing is happening because of how you smell, perhaps you could block the scent with an even stronger scent",
Timber asks "Like What?!",
Screwball replies "What do I look like, an Otorhinolaryngologist? Just find some stuff with very strong smells to them & cover yourself with them",
Timber then takes Screwball's advice and runs around the beach, looking for strong smelling stuff while trying to evade everyone of the animalistic girls chasing after him that he encounters, including the Sushi Truck girl who is acting like a crab, walking sideways, using her hands like pincers, and making crab-like sounds,
Timber starts at a make-up stand & covers himself with everything they have, but it doesn't work, he then runs down to the wharf, finds a bucket of chum & dumps the whole bucket on himself, but it doesn't work, he then climbs down from the pier back down to the beach to escape a bunch of girls, he then runs towards the back side of a store, and leaps into a dumpster, swims around in a weeks worth of garbage, but even That doesn't work, then he runs into the parking lot, where he finds a skunk wondering around, then Timber gets the skunk to spray him, and Finally it works as the girls start to snap out of it,
All the girls start coming back to their human senses, they look around confused, then they get back in their human positions(including stopping walking on all fours),
Sci-Twi says "W-what's going on?",
Then Sunset says "How did we get here?",
Then Pinkie Pie says while cleaning off her tongue "And why is my tongue full of hair?",
And Rarity gags out of grossness and says "And most importantly What is that Horrendous Odor?!",
Timber then acts very happy and says "Yes! Finally! You're all back to normal!",
All the girls are shocked by the fact that Timber is half-naked, covered in lots of dirty garbage, has a shaved head, and smells terrible,
Sci-Twi then asks "What in the World Happened to You?!",
Timber says "It's a Long Story, but right now, I'm just happy to be alive!",
Applejack then says "Well you look & smell like you just came back from the dead after being thrown in the city dump",
Fluttershy then says "I once volunteered to clean up after the elephants of a traveling circus when they had a bad case of diarrhea, but even That pales in comparison to This!"
Trixie then gags & says "The Great and Powerful Trixie is out of here! Peace!", she then unleashes a smoke bomb for her disappearing trick, but we see her just running back down to the beach & away from Timber,
Sunset then shouts to Trixie "Hey! Wait for me!",
Then Rainbow Dash says "We're Right behind you Sunset",
Then all of the other girls run away from Timber as well, and Sci-Twi says to Timber "Sorry Timber, but my nose has already gone past it's miasma limitation" before she runs off as well,
Then Screwball shows up all by herself, scrubbing the back of her neck with what looks like a toothbrush, and she says to Timber "Oh There you are, Hey I finally remembered the cure for the perfume, so it turns out that you need a composition of Oxygenating Chemicals to neutralize the Compounds in the perfume, namely hydrogen peroxide and sodium carbonate, or you could simply use a toothpaste with baking soda & peroxide",
Timber says "Toothpaste? I could have simply stopped all that craziness with Toothpaste?!",
Screwball replies "Yepperooni(Then she starts sniffing Timber and says) Hey I'd recognize that odor anywhere, you must have met Mustardfield",
Timber asks "Who's Mustardfield?",
Screwball then sees something to the right off screen, points to it and says "There he is Now, (then she bends down and acts like she's trying to attract a dog while saying)Here Mustardfield, Come Here, Come On, (then we see the skunk that sprayed Timber coming over to Screwball, she then picks him up & pets him while saying)Good Boy, Did you have fun while Screwby was away?",
Timber says "You have a pet Skunk? And You didn't even have his Stink Sack Removed?!",
Screwball then replies "And sacrifice all of the many uses I came get from the multitude of chemicals found in his oily spray? Now I'd Have to be crazy to do That!",
Timber then says "And you named him Mustardfield? That's a pretty odd name",
Screwball then giggles and says "You want to know something even crazier? I never actually Forgot the cure to the experimental perfume, I knew what it was this whole time",
Timber shouts "You What?! Then Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?!",
Screwball replies "I just wanted to see if you would be desperate enough to do all of that Crazy stuff I told you to do",
Timber looks at Screwball with a confused yet angry look and growls in frustration at her,
Screwball then says "Hey when you're as intelligent as me you tend to get bored very easily, and I've got a very twisted sense of humor, and boy were you totally worth every last minute of it",
Screwball then walk over to her car, which looks like a multicolored convertible, while saying "Well This was fun, but I've got to get back to my lab and work on my many projects", she gets in the car & buckles up, and her skunk Mustardfield does the same, Screwball & Mustardfield each then put on a big pair of sunglasses and Screwball says "Where we're goin', we don't need any Stinkin' Wheels", then Screwball starts up the car, then it's wheels turn to have the hubcaps face downwards, then the car starts rising up above the ground, Screwball's car turns out to be a fully functional Hover Car that she built, (she then looks at Timber and says)I'll call ya next time I need a few cheap laughs, Later Smelly Telly(Laughs really hard)", then she drives away on her gravity defying car,
Then we see Timber standing there confused and some of the guys from earlier come along, talking about how much fun they had with Screwball, then they start gagging over how Timber smells,
Sandlewood says "Dude, your terrible stink is seriously harshing my mello",
Then Zephyr says "Yeah man, were you sprayed by like a pack of skunks or something?!",
Then Bulk says "You know my Uncle was once sprayed by a skunk, he got it out with Baking Soda & Peroxide",
Then Brawly Beats "Sounds like the stuff you can find in Toothpaste",
Then Micro Chips says "Let us vacate the premises before this malodorous noisome eviscerates our nasal passages from our viscarocraniums",
Then Bulk says "I don't know what That means but I am Out of Here!", and all of the guys run away from Timber,
Finally we see Timber standing alone in the parking lot, with a shaved head, wearing dirty & damaged shorts, covered in garbage & fish guts, and emitting a horrible smell, then a gentle breeze blows through, and Timber just says "I wonder if any of the stores around here are stocked up on toothpaste".
THE END
Author's Note
I actually got inspiration for this story from a bunch of Cartoons that feature a character who gets exposed to something that makes them irresistibly attractive, but things don't go so well for them afterwards, but the whole Pheromones & wanting to Eat the exposed one was Heavily inspired by the episode of "Monsters VS. Aliens the Series" episode "The Friend Who Wasn't There", where Link used Sqweep's new spray to become more attractive, but since it was derived from Mantis Pheromones(and Females Eat the Males), every woman wanted to Eat him, the weird expressions on the girls faces part after Timber was exposed to the perfume was inspired by the ending scene of the "Doraemon" episode known in America as "Big G: Master Chef", where Big G was exposed to Doraemon's Super Spice which made everyone around him irresistibly want to Eat him(that episode also had a big influence on this story), the whole making the females mindlessly act like Animals thing was a twist that was inspired by something else entirely, and the ending I felt should be somewhat similar to the ending of the Spongebob Squarepants episode "The Paper".
As for Which animal I decided to use for each girl, well here are my reasons as follows:
I went with Small Dog for Sci-Twi because she has Spike(as a dog) for her pet, and I feel like they could have done far more with Sci-Twi to make her something more than just a lesser copy of Pony Twilight, but lately I fell like Hasbro/DHX has basically reduced her down to being Timber Spruce's Bitch(the actual name for a Female Dog btw).
I went with House Cat for Rarity mostly because she actually has a Cat for a pet.
I went with Cow for Applejack because she's a "Cow-Girl", the gag basically writes itself.
I went with Horse for Sunset because she was actually Born a Pony from Equestria, what more is there to it than That.
I went with Small Bird for Fluttershy because she often works with them for like a choir or something & has a beautiful singing voice like a small bird.
I went with Predatory Bird for Rainbow Dash because she's a Stronger Flyer than the others & Pony R.D. once considered a Falcon or Eagle for a pet.
I went with Gecko for Pinkie Pie because her Pony counterpart used Suction Cups to wall-crawl & licked her eyeballs with her tongue like a gecko before.
I went with either Sheep or Goat with Trixie because she has hair as white as a sheep's wool, or because of the fact that she's a stage magician she's always trying to get you're goat.
I went with Octopus for Octavia Melody because the names sound so similar.
I went with Lion for Torch Song mainly because she's a Singer & it went well with the Lion's Mane comment Timber used.
The Mother & Little Daughter as a Kangaroo & Joey was just too befitting to pass up.
The Sushi Truck Girl as a Crab was because she sold Seafood & spoke in a manner like Mr. Krabs of Spongebob Squarepants.
The rest were just so that I could use those girls in someway & place some more animals in this story somehow.
