Spike and Discord Play God
The Early Game Needs Work
“Now… to put these… right…” I said, my back starting to ache, then promptly slam another set of books on a table. “…here.” I took a deep breath and slouch over to sort them.
“Let’s see, Magic Through The Ages,” I said, then placed that book over in the third pile. “That goes here, with all things magic.” Only a million more to go…
Another cover. “A Pony’s Guide To Happiness,” Hmm… “This one.” Mental and emotional health.
Next. “Well, Mythical Beasts and Creatures: A Complete Collection,” Oh, easy. Mythology.
I sighed. This is going to take a few weeks. Every so often I get some break, or maybe a day off to stretch my legs, but then it’s back to books. Books, books, and more books. I feel like I’ve sorted these things about ten separate times right now. Why can’t Twilight sort these?! She knows these cover to cover. But noooooo, let Spike do all the grunt work.
I sighed. I suppose she does let me stay here and live a nice life. I guess I can’t complain.
Next. “The History of Equestria: Volume 26,” I look up and notice a few more with similar covers. “Also Volumes 27, 34, and 16,” I take all related volumes and place them next to the ninth pile I made: History.
Next. “Fallout: Las Pegasus” A fictional novel I wanted about a lone survivor of Tartarus’ wrath upon Equestria. “That stays with me.” Nobody’s touching that. I must have brought it in here and left it. Shame on me.
Reaching for the next one, the door to my left opens and a familiar voice rings through the library. “Spike?” she said.
I sighed. “Yes?”
“You can take a break now,” she told me. “My classes have adjourned for today.”
“You sure? I can keep organizing…” I started.
“Yes, Spike,” she looked reassuringly, “I can sort these. It’s no problem.”
Good, because I was about to go crazy. “Thanks.” I said and left, taking my copy of Fallout: Las Pegasus, “I think I’m gonna go outside for a bit.”
“All right,” she said but was completely concentrated on the stacks of books. “Just come back before it gets too dark.”
“I will,” I said while walking away.
I open the front doors to this private school and the sun nearly blinds me. Guess that’s what happens when I barricade myself in a darker room, sorting books for Celestia knows how long. I look at the book. I never really thanked Discord for this. He got me the book as a gift a while ago, and it’s one of the few things that’s keeping me sane right now. I should head over there. I don’t think they would mind if I dropped by. Hey, I don’t think Twilight would mind, just as long as I come back in time. It’s not like I was going to do anything else. Especially anything productive. Why not?
I flew slowly, letting my wings get some much-needed flight time. Still a bit shaky to start, but once I get going, I’m solid. And they always say that practice makes perfect. The trees look so beautiful; the colors melting into one another as I pass quickly by them. I flip upside down, place my claws and the book behind my head, and soak in the sun. The warmth is soothing, and when combined with the rushing air, the sensation is something I didn’t think I would ever experience myself.
Flipping back around, no problems whatsoever, obvious improvement in my newfound capabilities, I smile. I’m definitely getting better at this. And with a book, too! My balance is steadily improving. Looking straight ahead now, I see my destination in site. I slow down and land, a little too fast, but manage to catch myself before falling over.
“Note to self,” I remarked. “The start and finish need work.”
I walk up to the door and knock, tapping the book while waiting.
…
No answer.
I try again, this time a little louder and with an added voice.
“Hello?”
…
No answer.
“You guys home?”
…
I guess not…
I turn around to leave but a strange noise attracts my attention.
*KA-CHUNK!*
A confused look on my face, I thought as I scratched my chin.
…
*KA-CHUNK!* *BOOM!*
What’s going on in there?
I approached the door and pushed slightly. Hopefully, I wasn’t intruding on something too important. It wasn’t even locked. I pushed more and noticed how the floor wasn’t a typical wood floor.
It was grass. The hay is going on?
I walk slowly and I see trees, few of them, scattered all around from where I can see. What happened to the cottage? Have I been gone that long? I keep walking, nothing seems wrong, just different. Eventually, a little pond makes its way into my view to my right. I’ll go check it out.
Well, just a small body of water. I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe I thought that it would have something in it, but upon closer inspection, it’s far too shallow. I look at my reflection, almost still. Placid, pleasant, and near perfect.
*THUNK!*
“Huh?!” I look to my right. An arrow had just narrowly missed me. I stepped back and another hits right where I was just a second ago. I look up and a tower comes into view, and another arrow; this one way over my head.
I start flying and get a good look around near the tower. Nothing seen close by; must have been inside the tower. I see another building. Not sure what it is, but it will provide some cover. Thankfully close by, I race behind it.
Gasping and panting for air, I contemplate what had just happened. Who was trying to kill me? And why me? What have I done? This is going to one heck of a story for Twilight. I had just wandered into a war. In Fluttershy’s cottage!
I look up, after finally catching my breath and immediately my heart starts racing. Ten… things with something awfully dangerous looking, approached me. Walking upright in unison, and my back against the wall, ready to accept death, an omnipotent and familiar voice rings through the air.
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Janissaries, stand down!”
The beings halted and lower their… items.
I sighed in relief. I almost died just now.
And now I’m floating upwards in a bubble to meet the deity in this horrifying experience.
“Well, hello Spike. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Honestly,” I told him, “I don’t expect half the things that you do, Discord.”
“Fair enough,” he replied, “I’m just enjoying a little game.”
“A game? Is my life on my line just a game for you?”
“No, no,” he told me, “I’m beyond that. What I meant was what was happening before you showed up.”
I’m intrigued, but still also terrified. “What was going on before that?”
“Well,” he hesitates, “I suppose you’ll have to figure it out.”
“Does this game involve me getting hurt in any way?”
“Oh, no,” he told me, “Well, at least not physically,” He threw in. “You get to play god like me.”
That sounds confusing, but alluring. “Fine,” I told him, “Let’s play.”
“Excellent,” he said ominously, “let’s begin.” And then everything went dark.
I open my eyes to find myself in an overhead view of a small town.
“Discord,” I start, “You mind telling me what in the hay I’m looking at?”
“That’s your town center,” he explained back to me, “and I assume you have three villagers as well?”
Three whats? Well, he must mean these three beings close by. “…yes?”
“You can control them and give them commands,” he added. “Take it slow. You’ll get the hang of it.”
O-kay? “How?”
“Just hover your hand over them. Now, quiet, I’m gathering resources,” he snapped.
Well, excuse me Discord, you dragged me into this.
I move my left arm focus my hand over one of them:
Villager
25 HP
3 ATK
So, that’s what he was talking about. So, how do I move him?
I tap an area close to him and, to my surprise, it works! Easy, so what do I do now?
Enough of him, what’s this thing? I hover over it:
Scout Cavalry
45 HP
3 ATK
Scout cavalry? Does it work the same as the others? I tap again. Yes. Okay, so I can move. But what’s the point of this? I still don’t know.
I hover over the building:
Town Center
2400 HP
Maybe the goal is to keep this one standing? I know games like that. However, before I could come to a conclusion, another menu catches my eye. I see a picture of one of those things from before and I hover over it. Create Villager: (Cost 50 food) Food? What food? This game is confusing! First, there are things out to kill me, then a group of them standing with a horse, and now food is brought up? What is going on?
Out of nowhere, a notification pops up.
Discord advanced to the Feudal Age.
I do not understand this game! What in Celestia’s name is going on?! Villagers, Scout Cavalry, Town Center, food, Feudal Age, what’s next? I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts. Maybe it will all make sense soon. Let’s see if I can get something done. I focused back on the town Center. I’ll just see what happens. I tap the button. Now the icon with a red bar steadily filling up is shown. 10%...12%...15%...I’ll give it some time. For now, let’s have that scout do something. I hover and tap the scout and then tap again to walk away from the town, into this black void. And…oh, when you walk, you discover more land. Cool. I tap much farther away. It quickly trots over to the designated area. Nothing but trees and some water close to him.
Let’s head back to the Town Center. Another notification pops: –Villager Created–. One in a dress appears in front of the building. Do they spawn in front of it? I suppose that’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened. Let’s make another one. I hover and tap again. But another notification pops up: You need more houses to continue unit production. Houses? This big thing isn’t a house?! I sighed. Well, how do I get houses? Maybe that villager can do something. I hover over and see another menu, this time with a hammer over it. I tap and analyze the buttons. Aha! That first one looks promising. Yes! I hover over and read: Build House (Cost 25 wood). Shrugging, I tap the button and a transparent house moves with my hand. I hover over various areas. It glows red on trees. No go. No treehouse. Not on water either. No houseboat. It looks like it can be built on unblocked grass. I tap right next to the Town Center and now the villager walks over to the area and begins constructing it. It’ll take some time. Let’s try something else.
Let’s look at that other one. I hover and tap the villager. I have it walk around and it runs to some trees that I just found. I tap the tree, and to my surprise, it now starts cutting the tree down. I guess I’m getting some lumber? For whatever reason. Oh, wait, that house costed wood, and now this thing is getting me some more! I’m getting some of these concepts. Ok, I suppose that I could get some food somehow. I tap another idle villager and have it walk to the left. Close by are some bushes. I hover over: Berry Bush. Sounds tasty. I tap it. The villager starts gathering. That might count as food.
Relaxing. Playing god is easy on the mind. All is well.
…
An alarm bell and horn suddenly interrupt me and a notification is shown.
--Warning! You are being attacked by Discord!--
“What?” I snap out of my daze. “What’s going on?” I look down and see a group of about 20 more things attacking my Scout. I try to save it but to no avail. He falls to the ground. I can see them coming for my town. I have my wood villager run upwards and my other food villager runs to the left. Two idle ones sit at the town center as the horde approaches. “Discord!” I yell, “What are you doing?!”
No answer. Why is he so quiet?
My two idle villagers groan and keel over after a few hits from Discord’s horde. The group now goes after my house that my villager just finished. All that hard work, and down it goes, just as fast it went up.
“Ok, ok!” I say to him. “I give up!”
The final notification appears: Spike resigned.
Discord finally opens his mouth. “Oh, the Feudal Age rush!” he says, “How delightfully chaotic for the newcomer!”
Incredulous is how I’d describe myself right now. That was simultaneously frustrating, but fulfilling and addictive.
“What’d you think?” he asks. “First impressions?”
I lost, so a negative right off the bat. But something about being an omnipotent being satisfies me. Control. Orders. Strategy. It feels amazing.
“It…” I stammer, “It was amazing,” I admit.
“Really?” he ponders. “The ability to control and power everyone feels good, doesn’t it?”
He’s right. “Exactly. It’s just so… satisfying.”
“Spike,” he told me. “You have a lot to learn,” he stopped, and our glowing eyes locked. “But I think you and I are going to make a great team.”
I laughed. I’m ready for anything. “Just don’t kill me anymore and we have a deal.”
“Of course,” he told me. “Get ready to become the overlord of the smartest, most powerful civilization that you’ve ever witnessed.”
“What are we waiting for?”
Author's Note
Any AOE2 fans out there?
How's it going? Favorite civilization?
Maybe I'll pick it.