The Virgin Mare

by ItsDoctorWhooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1268

Throughout her entire life, one thing has plagued Pinkie Pie: the inability to love.

Since Pinkie Pie was born, she had never been able to love anypony. It wasn't like she didnt like them, in fact, she was friends with just about everypony. She just isn't willing to go the extra mile to love, and wouldn't even know where to start...

Published 2012-08-02 14:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-02 14:44:02 UTC

The Virgin Mare

The Virgin Mare

Pinkie walked through the streets, staring at all the couples surrounding her. It was the day before Hearts & Hooves day, and she was hosting a party. Only there was one problem... she didn't have a date. Sure, she had hosted parties before without dates, but this was different. Rarity had convinced her to make it a romantic gathering, instead of one of Pinkie's signature parties.

"It's for Hearts and Hooves day, Pinkie Pie. You simply have to make it a formal party." she had said. Why did it have to be formal? Pinkie's parties never failed before, why would people complain? But, as tends to occur, Rarity got her way, and Pinkie Pie didn't have a date.

Since she could remember, Pinkie Pie had been unable to love anypony. She liked everypony, but she could never... love. The closest she had ever gotten to a romantic gathering was the Grand Galloping Gala, and the closest she had ever gotten to a date was when some enthusiastic stallion at accidently bumped his flank into hers at a party... to which she yelped quite loudly in response.

Everypony was friends with Pinkie Pie. This was her curse. Sure, a few colts had probably liked Pinkie at some point, but Pinkie had unknowingly melted away any romantic thoughts from them with her warm friendship. How could anyone love something who appeared to like every living creature with equal amounts of gusto?

Pinkie sighed at yet another happy couple walking by. Two pegasi, giggling over some joke that only they are in on. Why couldn't she be like that with somepony?

"Hi, Pinkie!" It was Golden Harvest, a carrot farming mare who Pinkie had recently befriended.

"Hi, Harvest! How're you doing? Were you able to harvest enough carrots before the storm?"

"Yeah, thanks for helping. I'm fine, how are you?" she asked, feeling the almost caffeine like effect of Pinkie's presence.

"I'm okay, I guess. Heading off to help the Cakes with all the extra sales we're getting. Hearts & Hooves days and all." Even though she was technically supposed to be off work today, Pinkie would have just been moping around with self-pity over being dateless, so she decided to take the shift.

"That's nice of you! I'm off to meet up with my boyfriend, Goldengrape, see ya!"

"Oh, so even she has a date? Oh who am I kidding, why wouldn't she. Everypony does." Pinkie's thoughts ripped at her insides like fire. Oh how she wished she could be like her. In fact, why couldn't she be like her? How hard could it be to get a date?

"Alright, bye!" Pinkie forced out the happiness with as much ease as a fish forces out a barbed hook. Why did Golden Harvest have to tell her that she was going to see her date? Was that even necessary?

Golden Harvest smiled and walked off. Maybe Pinkie could be like her. Why not? She was friends with everypony. All she had to do was pick one pony, and go a bit... farther. Not as far as sex, she would remain a virgin for now, but she just wanted something.

Finally arriving at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie walked in to be greeted by exactly what she didn't want to see anymore of: more couples. Shrouding her annoyance, Pinkie greeted Mrs. Cake with vigor. "Hi Mrs. Cake! I thought you could use some help. Do you want me to take over the counter for a bit?"

"Oh, thank you Pinkie. Now I can finish icing the cake for tomorrow night, and my husband can play with the twins" abandoning the counter, Mrs. Cake ran off.

Pinkie Pie stared at all the couples from behind the counter. Caramel and Wind Whistler, Noteworthy and Lemon Hearts, even Thunderlane has a date: Lightning Bolt. Did everypony she knew have a date?

"Uh. Excuse me?" The voice startled Pinkie. Suddenly she remembered her job at hand.

"Oh, hi! What can I getcha'?"

"Hi Pinkie Pie, I'll have a hay latte with no foam, please" said Cheerilee.

"Right, I'll get that for you in a flash." As Pinkie walked towards the coffee machine, she saw something: a stallion. His coloring was that of dark, red velvet. He wasn't very audacious, but why did he attract Pinkie's eye? She had never met him before.

"Maybe the problem isn't that I can't love..."she thought. "But maybe it's that whenever I meet somepony new, I label them as my friend...maybe all I need is a fresh start."

"Here you go Cheerilee, do you want sugar? No? Okay, bye!" She regretted being a bit rude, but the unknown stallion was right behind Cheerilee in line.

The stallion approached the counter. "Hi! I-" Pinkie caught herself. If she introduced herself like she normally did, she could send him the wrong message. She had to get this right. "Um. Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?" Good, calm and friendly. Just what anypony would say to someone they liked.

"I'm Alto. I'm a bit new to Ponyville, just got out of college. How are you doing, Pinkie?" Alto's voice reminded Pinkie of melty white chocolate. While it wasn't that deep, it was still silky smooth and flowed beautifully.

"I'm fine. I like your cutie mark, what is it?" Alto's cutie mark was plain black in color, and looked to be a frown with a dot under it.

"Oh, it's a fermata. It's a musical symbol—I'm a singer" he said, the fact coming out confidently, but with no sense of arrogance over it. "Can I have two banana nut muffins, please?"

"Wh—oh, right, order. I'll go grab some for you right now, a fresh batch should be finished baking just about now." Pinkie smiled and walked into the kitchen, hunting for the oven containing the muffins. She grabbed two and bagged them. "Alright, Pinkie. It's time for you to actually ask him on a date. This won't solve itself" she said to herself in a nervous tone.

"Thanks" Alto said as Pinkie handed him the muffin bag. "How much will that be?"

"Just two bits for both, we're having a sale right now." She was lying, each muffin was actually worth about two bits, but she didn't care. "You said you were a singer. Um... well... I'm hosting a Hearts & Hooves Day party tomorrow night, and I was wondering if you would be willing to maybe... sing? We could use some more entertainment."

"Oh, really? That would be great! It's a date, then. Is it fine if I bring somepony with me?"

"Yes, of course. Anypony else who is willing to come with you would be lovely." Rarity always used words like lovely, so they must have some sort of effect.

"Alright then, see you tomorrow night then, Pinkie Pie." He smiled at Pinkie, and turned off outside of Sugarcube Corner.

"Bye... Alto" she sighed out his name like he was her savior... which in a way, he was. "Ha, take that Ponyville! I can totally get a date. I'm not unlovable, I'm just like everypony else." While she wanted to scream, which she normally would, she didn't—Alto was still within sight, handing one of the muffins to a cream colored stallion.

Pinkie was busying herself thinking about how they could go on dates together (Or maybe even double date with Rarity... she would love that), or maybe just hang out together, singing duets... and possibly even... other... things. Then, Pinkie saw something that shocked and confused the living hay out of her.

Alto was kissing the stallion.