Spike did WHAT!??!!!

by Quill_Fiction

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Prince Blueblood, Sex, Thorax, Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 2936

Rarity just saw Spike kissing Blueblood! What the buck is happening!?!?

On one visit in Canterlot Spike asks if he could tag along with Rarity, but later she sees him kissing Blueblood!! What in Equestria is happening!?

Includes Profane language and Sexual references

Published 2018-08-12 06:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-08 15:18:02 UTC

El Chapter

"Spike did WHAT!!?!" screamed Twilight, they were sitting in Twilight's castle and even though the crystalline walls were good at preventing sound from escaping that couldn't stop the sheer scream of an Alicorn.

"Yes, darling, you heard me correctly," replied Rarity. "Now please lower your voice! I think you just woke everyone in Mexicolt!" Rarity with her purple glossy mane had teleported in front of the castle, knocking on doors in the middle of the night.

" Well how do you expect me to bucking react! You just bucking told me that Spike, bucking kissed PRINCE BLUEBLOOD!!!!" Twilight responded.

" Twilight! I can't believe such language coming from The Princess of Friendship!!"

"Ok, I'm sorry but I can't believe he would do that!" said Twilight in exasperated voice. No one could have screamed that loud and not suffer the consequences.

"Ok, I'll start from the beginning," said Rarity.

"Please." Twilight still couldn't comprehend the news. Spike kissing Blueblood? It must've been some sort of mistake! Spike had crush Rarity. Maybe Spike was forced or something no way he'd fall for someone that shitty! Right?

"So it started in Canterlot..."

I was going there to personally deliver a set of suits to a noble, an old friend of mine. As you may know, Spike came along with me, and I must say he was rather persistent.

We walked down Hayfield Avenue until Spike said he wanted to explore. Obviously I could trust him to not get lost since he’d lived here before! So we split our ways and agreed to meet near the castle.

After that I met Lord Quill and gave his suits after we had a chat about our daily ordeals! We had some camomile tea, biscuits and ice cream, I'm sure you'd love to meet him, he has more books than any library in Equestria!

" Wait, what!!!!!" Shouted Twilight for the SECOND time today.

"Shush, Twilight!" Wow who knew Twilight could be so rude!

So anyway after a pleasant conversation I headed out and checked on my store, 'The Canterlot Boutique'. Business was booming and my assistant needed extra help from me, so I magicked a letter to Spike telling him to reschedule our meet up, an hour after the designated time.

"Look Rarity, could you skip to the part where Blueballs and Spike were kissing ?" said the purple Alicorn impatiently.

"Okay, so after my awkward talk with Princess Celestia, I—"

"Wait, WHAT!!?!" screamed Twilight.

Rarity just shrugged and kept on going. Everyone knew Rarity loved trolling just as much as Celestia! She does it all the time with Spike.

So after that I went towards 'Solaris Fountain' where I waited for Spike to come. It's a beautiful place when you take a look! The radiant sun shining upon your face while the calm breeze cools you down. When 2 hours had passed I knew something was wrong. So I went into detective mode and started asking about Spike's location. A stallion said he saw Spike in the Marewind Country Park, so I started heading in that direction.

I finally arrived there only to see that the park was closed, so I saw a janitor and asked him about Spike's location. He told me that Spike had gone towards the 'Lake of the Two Sisters' which of course is a popular dating location, this case was getting weird I knew Spike like the back of my hand but I had no idea why he would go there. It lies in the eastern regions of Canterlot.

So now I had to go to the other side of Canterlot and as I walked I knew that Spike wouldn't be happy the next time he saw me!

When I finally reached the lake, I couldn't see anyone. So I sat down on a broken old log and looked at the scenery it was beautiful. I made me remember lots of thing like my that my parents are never coming back or that I should go buy a 'My Little Human’ playset for Sweetie Belle's birthday. I kept reminiscing my life until I heard some chatter behind the bushes and due to my intense curiosity, I had to look at what was there.

That's when I saw Spike kissing Prince Blueblood. At that moment I rushed to the train station, arrived at your house and sent Spike a letter telling him to stay in Canterlot for the night.

"So, you're telling me, that you left Spike in Canterlot with a scumbag that you personally know is an absolute prick?" Twilight said with frustration. She knew Rarity could be dumb at times but this was at a WHOLE new level. The only thing stopping Twilight turning Rarity into slug was their friendship.

"Well, when you say it like that..."

"For bucks sake! Let's go interrogate Blueballs and get this shit done with!" shouted Twilight.Time for some more shit to deal with.

“It'll have to wait till the morning darling” Rarity said. You could see the bags under her eyes. You need understand it was the middle of the night and she'd spent the entire day walking around Canterlot.

“Oh right, why don't you stay here? We have a spare bedroom” Twilight said sheepishly, she got caught up in the moment

The next morning, the duo reached Canterlot they wasted no time and started locating the “Pricky Prince’. Even though they had to wait an hour they finally found Blueblood. And so the interrogation started. They led Blueblood into a dark, cold and secluded room, in ways I shall that no pony should experience.

Time for some bad cop (Rarity) and bad cop (Twilight).

"So Blueballs... Where were you yesterday between 5pm and 6pm?" Twilight asked as her anger took full control. She had no reason to be angry but Blueblood just gave that feeling.

"I have no need to answer to the likes of you" Blueblood said with extra smugness. To him he feels since he was a prince before Twilight even though he had no domain nor he was vital part of Equestria.

"Oh for bucks sake, just tell us what you did with Spike!"

"Who's Spike? Oh wait, is it that hideous dragon that follows you like a dog?" Blueblood knew who Spike was he just wanted to be a dick.

As soon as he said that Rarity slapped Blueblood across the face, anger leaking out of her eyes. "Don't you dare insult Spikey-Wikey!! Just tell us what you did yesterday afternoon!!" ordered Rarity. Although she uses Spike for her own gain, she still saw him as a good friend.

"Ok, Ok! Yesterday I was at Yakyakistan as an ambassador to discuss the ice-cream trade and illegal importation of the new Salt flavour! Happy?" said Blueballs in terror.

"Wait, why would you go to another country just because of ice cream?" Even though Yakyakistan was popular for their ice cream, you shouldn't send a diplomat or politician for a measly job like that!

"That's classified. The only pony I would inform is Princess Celestia! Not you!” That was slightly weird

"Ok then, but this talk doesn't help us whatsoever!"

"Maybe he's lying?" Rarity still doesn't trust Blueblood not after the Gala

"Maybe, Rarity, maybe."

"Why don't we resort to... crueller methods." Asked Rarity. Really she just wanted to torture Blueblood for the heck of it

"Good idea!"

"Let's start!" Things are gonna get exciting!

"STOP!!!" Out of nowhere green and purple dragon appeared.

"Spike? Why are you here?" Now before you say anything Spike is 18, don't worry.

"I heard that you were heading to Blueballs place, so I added 2 and 2 together and rushed here as fast as I can" Spike looked so sweaty he looked like he could fill two lakes with all that sweat!

"Ok, you're here now. Explain!"

"Well, last night I wasn't kissing Blueblood. It was..." Oh did Spike love suspense! He almost loves it as much as he loves his secret lover.

"Spit it out!!" Shouted Twilight. Wow, Twilight needs way more patience!

"It was Thorax." Yup! King Thorax of the Changelings. May his fangs forever be long. Whatever.

"WAIT!! WHAT!!" Twilight screamed for the 3rd time TODAY!!

"Darling, do you mean KING THORAX OF THE CHANGELINGS!?!!” Screamed Rarity. Rarity I already said!

"Eeyup" Said Spike. Since he spent a lot of time with Big Mac, he started saying the same things

"But isn't he older than you?" Twilight was starting to worry that Thorax was a pedophile. She knew that she had her heart in the right place it but she still didn't really trust Thorax

"Only two years," answered Spike. It was then Spike noticed Rarity's lips were quivering, her heart beating rapidly, her breaths becoming heavier “Twi, I think we need the fainting couch!” Just then Rarity's red fainting couch appeared and Rarity lied down on it.

"Thank you, but how is he two years older darling?" This was a genuine question because even when Spike was younger, Thorax was twice the size of him.

"Changelings mature quicker than ponies but dragons mature slower. Didn't you know that?"

"So you're dating a 20 year old?" Asked Twilight. She was pretty shocked. She thought that she knew everything about Changelings but then Spike just throws out some new information and Twilight to know it.

"Eeyup"

"Why would the King of the Changelings fall for someone like you!?!" Blueblood finally talked for the first time in 2 minutes.

"Shut up Blueballs! You're not important! But really Spike I thought you were straight and in love with Rarity!"

"Nah, I just faked it. I've been gay for most of my life! My first crush was Big Mac but I then saw him as a friend. But really did you think I was actually in love with Rarity! I mean she used me, like a slave!!" shouted Spike.

"Yes, darling, I'm sorry. Could you ever forgive me?" Pleaded Rarity.

"Yeah, sure. I'm guessing you all want to know how Thorax and I got together”

"Well it started six months ago on my birthday..."

... I had made breakfast for me and Twilight plus I gave Owlowiscious his bird food. I was completely unaware that it was my birthday, so when someone knocked the door I had no idea who it was.

Knock, knock, knock knock. "Ok, wait a minute I'm getting the door."

When I opened the door I saw none other than King Thorax.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPIKE!!!!" said Thorax, happiness leaking from his face. Well

"Pinkie?! When did you become a Changeling?" I joked. It was kinda an inside joke between us since he impersonated Pinkie for two months while she was visiting her family.

"Ha, ha! It's me Thorax" Laughed Thorax.

"Thorax? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the hive?" I asked.

"Yes but I asked Pharynx to look after it while we celebrate your birthday!" I admit it was irresponsible of him to do that but with all that happiness he was showing I just couldn't say no.

"But why?"

"'Cause I'm your friend, Dummy!!" You know that is exactly what Pinkie would say! But I knew he was still joking.

"Are you sure you're not a Pinkie?"

"Eeyup!" He replied. Why was he imitating Big Mac as well?

"Okay, let's go!"

And so we headed towards Sugarcube Corner for a Pinkie Special. Pinkie remembered that it was my birthda—

"Spike, did you say a Pinkie Special!!!!!"

"Yeah, it was pretty good."

"HOW DID YOU EVEN LIVE!!?!!??!??" Screamed Twilight.

Spike shrugged and continued the story.

Since Pinkie remembered it was my birthday she let me have it for free and she gave 2 ice cream sundaes on the house! Literally! She put us on a table on the top of the house!! I remember Thorax shaking and quivering the whole time!

So after that we went exploring Ponyville with Thorax disguised as an eagle. We decided on going to Octavia's concert because he had already bought the tickets and it was really nice even though I thought it would be boring. I especially liked it when Octavia had a duet with Vinyl! That was pretty sweet! Anyway the day was starting to end and we didn't know what to do.

Everyone was busy today and Pinkie said that my party had to be rescheduled for tomorrow because of something about Yakyakistani Ice cream? So Thorax and I decided to spend the last few hours relaxing by woods, just talking about stuff. Yes it was the Everfree but we went there anyway

That's when a thought came across my mind "Thorax, have you ever been in a relationship?" Yes it was an odd question but I couldn't resist!

"No. I haven't told anyone this but since you're my best friend I'll just say it... I'm gay." He responded. I couldn't believe it another person like me! I thought I would never find a person that had the same interests as me and since he came out, I guess I'll do it to!

'Wow, really? Same here."

"Yeah, the hive isn't as open as pony society but I'm planning on changing that! Anyway who was your first love?" He answered. You could hear the confidence replacing his voice. No wonder he was a king!

"Well, I don't know. I guess it was Big Mac. What about you? Who was your first crush? Don't tell me! Is it Pharynx?!" Yeah, I just picked the first changeling that came in my head.

"Well-" Suddenly the ground started to rumble and mist came in.

"Wha- what's happening Thorax?" In the corner you could see Spike in a battle ready position but with a face of fear.

" I'm not sure, Spike." In the mist you could see a pair of glowing eyes.

"OH NO!! TIMBERWOLVES!" A pack of 3 timberwolves came out of nowhere. Their mouths drooling as though they had been starving for month, their eyes which were filled with bloodlust and their entire was covered in deep claw marks.

"Spike! Use your flame breath!" Shouted Thorax.

"Ok, Thorax!" I sucked in and released giant green flame from his mouth, which in turn incinerated the surrounding trees and the 2 of the timberwolves."Thorax, why didn't the middle one burn and WHY IS IT GETTING BIGGER?"

"It must be the Alpha! They're more powerful than the rest and when their pack dies they collect the souls and become stronger!" Thorax had been studying Equestria’s creatures just in case of situations like this.

"Well, second time's the charm!" And with that I unleashed the biggest fireball Thorax had ever seen. When the fireball came in contact with the 20 ft tall timberwolf a puff of smoke engulfed the area where the alpha was. "Where is it!!??" Behind me the creature pounced and scratched me with class as sharp as swords.

"Spike! Noooo!!" Thorax shouted as I fell to the ground with pure anger and changed into a colossal URSA MAJOR! With this form Thorax absolutely crushed the timberwolf and clawed it into a million pieces! Like I said he'd been studying! After that Thorax changed back and rushed to me.

"Spike, wake up! Please!" No response. "Please wake up! Don't die on me!" Again no response.
"Look, you wanted to know my first crush? It was you! From the moment I saw you in those caverns and I still love you."

"Th- Thorax? I love you too." And with that we both broke into a passionate kiss.

"That was kinda cliché."

Even if Twilight was happy that Spike had finally found a special somepony or in this case a special somebody, it couldn't stop her from judging this love story.

"Twilight, this story is wonderful." You could actually see Rarity's makeup running down her face. During the entire story, she had gone through 2 rolls of tissue!

"Yeah, well I don't care what either of you think about it! I'm going to go meet with Thorax now." And with that Spike flew away.

"Well, Rarity, you wanna buck?" This was a rather weird question from Twilight but I guess from all this talk about love made her slightly horny

"Umm, sorry darling but I have an appointment with a very special guest," Rarity said as she blushed. She usually gets flustered in situations like these.

"Oh well, maybe Starlight and Trixie would like a threesome," muttered Twilight, who then walked away leaving Rarity, who was then teleported somewhere.

She arrived in a bedroom which by the looks of it was in Canterlot Castle. Then she realised what was happening and bit her lip "Why hello there, Celestia,! You dirty little whorse". Yeah during up her search for Spike in Canterlot she had met Celestia and they had talked a bit about life in general. Until Celestia confessed her love and boom, they're the secret couple!

One Day Later...

Blueblood was sitting down still stuck on the chair, "Hello! Can someone get some food!!" In the wind you could here the words 'Shut up! You're not important!'.

The End

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my first fimfic if you have any feedback, good ones or bad ones, I'd greatly appreciate it!!! I also really want to Thank Rainstream who edited this story so go check him out! Thank you for reading and goodbye!

Aftermath

It was all a dream...

Author's Note

This just improves the entire story, doesn't it?! This was somehow inspired by Morbid the Brony!

Chapter 3

And they all died