Abnormalities

by Alabenson

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Rarity, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1998

Doctor Bedside Manner attempts to break the news to an expectant mother that her foal is going to have some...unique physical attributes.

What's the worst part of being the Head of Obstetrics for Manehattan General? If you were to ask Doctor Bedside Manner, it would be having to break bad news to expectant parents, especially when said parents are considered VIPs. So of course, when a famous fashion designer's sonogram reveals a foal that looks shockingly bizarre it falls to Bedside Manner to deliver the unpleasant news.

Published 2018-07-01 02:50:08 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-01 02:50:08 UTC

The Bearer of Bad News

There were, of course, a multitude of benefits to being the Head of Obstetrics at Manehattan General Hospital, as Bedside Manner could readily attest. The compensation was excellent, one had the admiration of the general public and there was certain joy to be had in working with expectant parents.

“Pardon me, Doctor Bedside Manner? Doctor Off Label asked me to find you, he says there’s a VIP in ultrasound who he needs you to speak with,” a nurse said as she rushed over to where Bedside Manner was standing.

“Is that so? Well, I’d better see what the situation is then,” Bedside Manner replied cheerfully. Inwardly, however, Bedside Manner knew exactly why his presence was being requested and was cringing at the very thought. For all the advantages his position brought, there was one particular downside that never failed to churn Bedside Manner’s stomach. Whenever there was bad news to be delivered, especially when a particularly well-connected pony was involved, Bedside Manner’s colleagues would inevitably turn to him to be the bearer of bad news. “And bad news after an ultrasound…dear Celestia this is not going to be a pleasant conversation,” Bedside Manner thought to himself as he rapidly strode down the halls.

It didn’t take long for Bedside Manner to reach the Obstetrics Ultrasonography room. Doctor Off Label was pacing nervously outside, pausing occasionally to glance at a folder he was carrying. “Doctor Bedside, thank Celestia you’re here,” Off Label said as soon as he saw Bedside Manner approaching. “I’ve run into something of a delicate situation and –“

“First things first, who’s this ‘VIP’ you’re too scared to talk to?” Bedside Manner said brusquely, cutting his colleague off.

“Well, she’s a fashion designer who’s in town for fashion week,” Off Label began.

“As an entrant?” Bedside Manner asked hopefully

“No, she’s one of the judges. According to her she was brought in as a last minute replacement when Photo Finish had to cancel.”

Bedside Manner let out a sigh of resignation at this news. An established fashion designer with enough clout to be called upon to judge for Manehattan’s famous fashion week was certainly the sort of pony who would qualify as a VIP. “Still,” Bedside Manner thought to himself, “it could be much, much worse. At least it isn’t anypony with actual influence –“

“I should probably also mention that the patient is also part of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s inner circle,” Off Label added.

For the next several seconds Bedside Manner was completely silent as he inwardly unleashed a torrent of every bit of profanity he knew. Once he regained a modicum of composure Bedside Manner looked up wearing the grimace of somepony who had just learned they needed to shove their foreleg into a flash bee hive. “Alright then, so now that we have that established what exactly is the matter with the patient anyway?”

“Well, this is the first late stage pregnancy sonogram the patient has had and…well, maybe you should take a look at the images for yourself.” Off Label solemnly handed Bedside Manner the folder he had been carrying.

As Bedside Manner opened the folder and peered at the contents his expression slowly shifted from confusion to shock before finally settling on outright horror. “Mother of Celestia, is this…is this real?” Frantically, Bedside Manner began flipping through some of the other papers in the folder, only to have his worst fears concerning the images within confirmed.

“One the plus side, both the patient and her foal seemed to be perfectly healthy. Well…at least aside from the…abnormalities,” Off Label offered, almost apologetically.

“Abnormalities would be an understatement,” Bedside Manner grumbled under his breath. “Well, nothing to do but get this over with. On the bright side, if she is an associate of the Princess of Friendship then she should at least be reasonable enough to not try and blame the hospital for all this.” Pushing open the door, Bedside Manner stepped into the room where he was greeted by the sight of the patient in question calmly lying on her side on an examination table. “Good morning, Miss…Rarity, is it? I’m Doctor Bedside Manner, the Head of Obstetrics here at Manehatten General.”

“Good morning doctor,” Rarity replied, a hint of unease creeping into her voice. “If you don’t mind my asking, what happened to Doctor Off Label?”

“Doctor Off Label asked that I review your sonogram images with you, as there were a few abnormalities detected during the procedure,” Bedside Manner replied, not seeing any point in beating around the bush.

“Is there something the matter with my foal?” Rarity asked with sudden alarm as she propped herself up with a foreleg.

“Not as far as in terms of health, I can assure you,” Bedside Manner quickly replied, glad to be able to provide one bit of good news to cushion what was to come. “It’s just that – actually, it might be easier to explain if I were to show you.” With a practiced nod of his head, Bedside Manner sent a surge of magic into a nearby device, causing it to project a still image from the sonogram onto a screen on the wall.

“Is that my foal?” Rarity asked breathlessly.

“Yes, yes it is. Now, as I already mentioned, your foal shows every indication of being perfectly healthy and viable. That being said, your foal does seem to be displaying a few…unusual physical attributes. The most prominent of which would likely be your foal’s tail,” Bedside Manner said as he gestured towards the image. “If you look here you can see that your foal’s dock extends out much further than average and appears to possess a surprisingly developed muscular structure.” Bedside Manner paused in his explanation to glance over at Rarity to gouge how she was taking the news. To his surprise, Rarity didn’t show any outward signs of shock or horror, leading Bedside Manner to wonder is she truly understood what he was telling her.

“Out of curiosity, were you able to determine if my foal is going to be a filly or a colt?” Rarity asked mildly.

“Err, pardon?” Bedside Manner replied, not expecting that to be the most pressing of Rarity’s questions.

“I know some expectant parents prefer not to be told until their foals are born but honestly I just can’t stand the wait any longer.”

“The poor mare must be in complete denial due to the shock,” Bedside Manner thought to himself. "Still, at least she isn’t trying to blame the hospital for the issue. Very well, Miss Rarity,” Bedside Manner finally said. “If you would like to know now I can confirm that your foal is going to be a filly.”

“So I’m going to have a daughter,” Rarity said dreamily before letting out an excited giggle. “I’m sorry, here I am a grown mare giggling like a schoolfilly, but these last several months have just gone by so fast I sometimes feel as though my head’s spinning.”

“I can certainly understand how you fell, Miss Rarity, but there are a few other aspects of your daughter that I do feel you should be aware of in addition to the unique structure of her tail,” Bedside Manner said in an attempt to regain control of the conversation. “Speaking of your daughter’s tail, for instance, you’ll notice this series of formations running her along her tail and up her back. Now, we can’t be entirely certain as to their precise nature at this stage, but they appear to be some form of osteoderm.”

“Pardon, but what pray tell is an osteoderm exactly?” Rarity asked.

“They’re bony deposits that form scales or plates based in the dermis. You see them most commonly among reptiles, actually, though they’re not completely unknown among certain species of mammals,” Bedside Manner said before stopping himself from lecturing any further. “I’m sorry, I do have a tendency to ramble from time to time. This must be a great deal for you to take in all at once.”

“Oh not at all,” Rarity cheerfully assured Bedside Manner. “To be honest I find this all really quite fascinating. Now, was there anything else you wanted to tell me regarding my daughter?”

For the life of Bedside Manner he couldn’t tell if Rarity was being sincere or not. There was nothing in either her voice or expression that indicated even a hint of sarcasm. But, the notion that an expectant mother wouldn’t even be remotely perturbed to learn that their foal was displaying severe physical abnormalities went counter to everything Bedside Manner thought he understood about how ponies behave. Still, Bedside Manner had a job to do, his patient’s unsettling lack of reaction notwithstanding. “There is one additional area of concern that I would like to bring up. Specifically the rather unique structure of your daughter’s ears. As you may have noticed, your daughter’s ears aren’t upright in this image, but rather are more swept back. Normally this wouldn’t be cause for concern, however if you look closely you’ll notice striations running along the length of her ears. Now, we can’t be absolutely certain without running additional tests, but it would appear that these striations could be cartilaginous spines of some kind. What this would mean is that your daughter’s ears will likely resemble frills similar to what you might see on certain breeds of lizards –“

“Or dragons?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, I suppose they would resemble the ear frills of a dragon. Pardon me, Miss Rarity, but there’s something that I’d like to ask you about. If you don’t mind my mentioning it, you seem to be taking all this unusually well. In fact, I daresay you don’t seem to have been surprised by a single thing I’ve told you.”

“Oh that’s just not true; I had no idea if foal was going to be a filly or a colt until you told me.” Rarity protested. “I will admit that none of these ‘abnormalities’ you seem so concerned with were particularly surprising, though. But, considering who my husband is…”

“You’re husband?” a bewildered Bedside Manner repeated. Before he had a chance to ask for more of an explanation, however, Bedside Manner’s attention was diverted to the sounds of a commotion out in the hall, soon followed by the sound of somepony knocking on the examination room door.

“’Scuse me, I’m looking for – Rarity!” As Bedside Manner looked on in utter confusion a lavender dragon roughly the size of a pony pushed open the door and stepped inside.

“Spikey-wikey!” Rarity cooed happily, apparently recognizing their visitor. As the dragon approached her Rarity threw her front hooves around its neck and planted a loving kiss on its lips. “Spike, darling, this is Doctor Bedside Manner,” Rarity said as she released Spike from her embrace. “He’s been going over the images from my ultrasound with me. Doctor, allow me to introduce you to my husband, Spike.”

“You’re husband? I mean, uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Bedside Manner managed to say as everything suddenly stated to fall into place.

“Same here,” Spike said cheerfully before turning his attention to the image still being projected on the wall. “So, is that...?”

“Our daughter,” Rarity confirmed softly.

“Well, it would appear everything is in order here, so I believe I’ll excuse myself,” Bedside Manner said as he edged towards the door. “I’ll have a nurse come in to wrap everything up for you.” Before either Rarity or Spike had a chance to respond Bedside Manner ducked out the door, intending to have a lengthy conversation with Off Label about the importance of gathering relevant information concerning patients.

“Huh, he sure seemed to be in a hurry,” Spike remarked.

“Well, he is the head of his department, so I have to imagine he’s quite a busy stallion,” Rarity replied. “In any event, I think it’s time we started discussing possible names for our daughter. What do you think of ‘Filigree’?”