Heart đBeatsâ«by DarkswirlChaptersFirst Day of School, part twoRegretsThe Teacup CafĂ©Just friendsThe Root of Our ProblemsSolutionsPrologueFirst Day of School, part oneFirst Day of School, part two"Excuse me, Miss Scratch!" Octavia called out as she attempted to politely push her way through the throng of students as they scuttled to their next class. The unicorn made no indication of hearing her as she continued along, far ahead of Octavia, before she rounded a corner and disappeared. Octavia kept her composure through her frustration, and managed to push her way towards the direction of her project partner; through the double doors that led to the beautiful pseudo park that defined the Fillydelphia University. Octavia's gaze found itself scanning and picking through the mess of students, searching for a sharp blue mane, before she spotted her partner making her way across the grass. Clearing her throat and suppressing her smile, the refined mare easily slipped into a tölt and found herself satisfied with its balance of speed and grace as she snaked her way to the white mare. "Pardon me, Miss Scratch?" Octavia began, catching the irritated glance of the unicorn, who had stopped in her tracks and turned to face the mare. "My name is Octavia Melody Philharmonica, and I am your partner in our psychology project." Octavia bowed as she introduced herself, hoping the grace of her posture would only amplify her politeness, until she rose and found the unicorn eyeing her with a raised brow. Quickly, she surmised that, despite her partner's apparent fame, she may not be from the same class as she, and therefore unfamiliar with such standards. "Ah, um, forgive me for perhaps appearing unusual. I find myself held to a higher standard of expectations, you see." It bothered Octavia that she could barely make out the movements of the unicorn's eyes behind her dark glasses, as she had grown accustomed to judging the thoughts of others through their gaze. It was impossible to tell if she had made a negative impression, or not, but worry gave way to confusion as the unicorn simply raised a hoof towards Octavia, at which she stared in confusion, quietly seeking instruction through pleading eyes. The unicorn sighed and rolled her head, slightly, before gripping Octavia's hoof gently in her magic and raising it until it was level with Vinyl's, at which point they bumped horseshoes in a fluid motion before their hooves fell to the ground. Oh. Octavia thought, with slight dread. This was that kind of mare. Clearing her throat and ever so slightly scraping her hoof on the ground, Octavia spoke up, once more: "While I am unaware of any restrictions you may have, my schedule is clear for the following two hours. Is now a good time to begin our project?" Vinyl gave a half-hearted shrug and slowly led Octavia into the shade of a tree within the park before dropping her bag to the side and pulling out a notebook in anticipation as she lay in the grass. Octavia was far more graceful as she set her bag to her side and folded her forehooves while she lay across from the mare. "As you already know, I am Octavia Melody Philharmonica of the Piast family. You may know of my mother, Mezzo Piano." Vinyl scribbled something down and turned the page so that Octavia could read. In an instant, the reserved earth pony mare found her eyes drawn to the page with her eyebrows wide in amazement; this mares' calligraphy was absolutely incredible, and her pencil strokes flowed with elegance as the curves within the letters carved rivers into the paper! Never heard of you. she wrote. Octavia felt thoroughly conflicted. On one hoof, she found herself entranced by the style of writing from what she had assumed was such a low class mare. On the other hoof, she felt disrespected at the short and direct style in which she responded. And on yet another hoof, she felt relieved that this mare hadn't an inkling of knowledge about her family, or her mother. She could establish herself, here. But, before she could express her hopes or ask another question, she found a new sentence just under the first, in that same elegant form. Name's Vinyl Scratch, aka DJ-Pon3. You've probably heard of me. she had written. "Unfortunately, it seems as though I have not heard of you, either. We appear to come from drastically different circles." Octavia admitted, sheepishly. "What would I have heard of you?" Now it was Vinyl's turn to be taken aback, as it dawned on her that this gray earth pony didn't know about her fame, which meant that she was unaware of the rumors surrounding her private life. She cracked a small smile and scribbled another line into the paper. Don't worry about it. It's pretty relieving that you haven't heard of me, actually. Octavia reluctantly cracked a smile of her own as she gave a small nod. "I am all too familiar with wanting to live as an invisible pony, sometimes. It is tiring when ponies look at me and see my mother, rather than a mare who can stand on her own." The two shared a brief silence of understanding before Vinyl wove her pen into the paper, once more. What brings you to Fillydelphia University? she wrote. "I informed my mother of my intentions to be my own mare, and decided I needed the skills to actually do so. I am taking classical music theory because the cello is my instrument, and it would be foalish of me to believe I have learned everything there is to know about it." Octavia explained. "I am also taking musical theater as a hobby, as well as business management to garner the skills needed to essentially be my own stage manager, and psychology in order to better understand how to appeal to ponies and develop my own life. What brings you to such an esteemed university?" A friend convinced me. Creative writing, though I don't know why. Modern musical theory, if you can believe that coincidence. And I'm in psychology for exactly what Mr. Steel-Shield said: to be a better pony. Vinyl wrote Octavia nodded in understanding. "What makes you think you need to be a better pony?" Personal stuff. Vinyl scribbled, rather slowly, as if uncomfortable. "No need to feel embarrassed, this assignment is about us getting to know each other. Do not feel like you can not tell me anything." Octavia insisted. Really, it's fine. What's your favorite color? she wrote. Octavia glanced down at the paper and frowned as she gave Vinyl a light, accusative glance. "It is not entirely fair to simply not answer my questions, Miss Scratch. Our assignment is to understand and become friends with one another, and I cannot do so if you do not work with me. This is as much your grade as it is mine." Whatever smile Vinyl had been holding onto had completely disappeared by this point, replaced with a frown as she scribbled another line in a huff. Forget it. It was nice talking with you, while it lasted. As Vinyl stood up to leave, Octavia rose, as well, and commandingly cleared her throat. "Miss Scratch, I do not know what has come over you or what you are dealing with in your life, but my grade is important to me, and I will not have it sullied by uncooperativeness. Your refusal to speak only makes this more difficult, on top of your unwillingness to remain civil with me. Perhaps we should continue this at another time, after you have had a chance to calm yourself? How may I contact you?" Vinyl shot Octavia a hard glare as she angrily tore into the paper with her pencil, going as far as to actually tear the paper in some parts before she threw her page on the ground and stormed off past Octavia, whose eyes tracked the mare as she left until she rounded a corner and disappeared from sight. What an unruly and absolutely uncouth mare. Octavia snorted in thought, before turning to read the note she had been left. I'm mute, you dumb ass! And forgive me for not wanting to spill my entire life to somepony I just met, school project or no. We all have secrets and things we don't want others knowing, so just piss off. I don't want friends, and I especially don't want to be friends with such an uppity mare who thinks only of herself and doesn't even begin to understand that she's not in whatever high class mansion she came from. This is Fillydelphia, get used to it. Vinyl stormed across the grass of her university as she fumed. What the fuck is her problem? Vinyl thought to herself as she weaved through oncoming students. Is she so fucking sheltered that she doesn't understand basic privacy? Load of good that snobby upbringing did for her, mare can't even stay polite if she doesn't get her way. Vinyl threw her head to the side as she shifted her hair out of her face and pulled her headphones out of her bag with her magic, finding their comfortable home as they hugged her ears. Not long after, quiet, upbeat music began to trickle its way into her mind and she found herself walking in time to the beat as she took a breath to calm herself. In an instant, she realized that she had stormed off in the wrong direction. When she should have been heading back to her apartment, she instead found that she stood in front of the administration building, where she had registered for her courses. I could end this all, right now. she thought, tuning out her music as she read the golden letters that adorned the side of the building. Cancel my courses and drop out. It'd be fast and easy, and I'd have no problem making that money back if I could land a better gig. Vinyl struggled with herself for only a few seconds more before she hung her head, dejectedly, and turned away to head home. I don't want to lose Neon... she thought. If I dropped out, that'd be it. I'd lose the only friend I actually have and then... I don't know what I'd do with myself... Vinyl shook her head in an attempt to stave off her thoughts before she turned her music up just a smidgen louder, satisfied that it would occupy her thoughts and keep her from doing anything rash as she made her way home. When she arrived, her bag thudded to the floor and her glasses and headphones kept each other company on the kitchen counter of her small apartment. Vinyl wasn't ashamed of her home. It was small, yes, and the kitchen and bathroom were the first things on your right and left as you entered, but it suited her. She didn't need a lot of space, and found the small quarters of her three-room apartment surprisingly comfortable. It was messy, yes, but that was just Vinyl; her style. Still, while she may not have been ashamed of her apartment, and while she was comfortable with the space, she couldn't shake the feeling that it felt so incredibly cold. Empty. For a moment, she thought about calling Neon Lights over, hoping he could see that she was making a difference in her life even if she wasn't entirely entranced with the idea. Maybe he'd stay, if only for the night. Vinyl walked her narrow hallway and opened the door to her bedroom before falling face-first into her bed. As she took in the utter silence of her apartment, she began to cry into her sheets. It's not fair! she mentally screamed as she punched the blanket beneath her. I have fame and money, so why the fuck can't I just be happy?! Deep down, however, Vinyl knew the source of her misery. It was exactly like Neon had said, all those months ago when he had convinced her to go to school: "You turned to drugs for help more than you turned to your friends." But it's not my fault! Vinyl argued with herself. Why can't ponies just treat me like Vinyl instead of DJ-Pon3 all the fucking time?! I'm more than that! I... Vinyl paused, mid mental sentence as a rogue thought crossed her mind. You shoved away the pony who did treat you like Vinyl. Vinyl shook her head in protest as she levitated a pillow into her face. I didn't want to hurt her... I don't want to hurt any pony... she thought. I can't let them close because they'll just see what a fucking slob I am. They'll hate me because I drink too much, or because I use party drugs, or they'll just see what a shitty person I am... Just like Neon... Vinyl lay in her own depressive pool for a moments, simply sulking, before she hovered her phone towards her face and pulled up Neon Light's text. Before she could start the conversation, however, another text buzzed itself into existence and filled the screen. Hey, Vinyl! It's Cherry Blast. Remember me? I'm throwing a party tonight, want to swing by just as a guest? There's gonna be booze and your favorite you-know-what ;) From Cherry Blast, received at 5:31 P.M. Vinyl froze in shock as she read the text, her heart thumping in her chest. "You stupid, stupid pony!" Octavia berated herself with a pained frown painted on her face as she pulled another stack of books from one of the several cardboard boxes that were neatly stacked against the wall in the living room of her rather exquisite singles dorm. "How could you have been so rude? How could you have forgotten your manners in an instant?" Octavia ashamedly recalled the events that had transpired no more than an hour ago, painfully reliving the realization that she had practically insulted and violated the personal space of her best chance at a friend. "What a tremendous first day, Octavia! You managed to fall back into the shadow of your mother in both classical music and theater class, your psychology teacher now despises you for insinuating that you know how to run his class, and you threw away the best chance at your own friendship all in the span of less than twelve hours! This is what you call 'being your own mare'?!" she exclaimed, carefully setting the books into their alphabetically-sorted spots on her shelf before moving to collapse the now empty box. In stark contrast to Vinyl, Octavia's dorm room was much larger and cleaner, featuring a dining room in the kitchen and a small study that she would reforge into her cello room. Despite feeling much smaller than home, she couldn't help but admire the spacious room that was certainly reserved for only the most prestigious families. Still, Octavia soon realized, it felt rather... Empty. Yes, she had mostly unpacked and, yes her affects filled her living space quite nicely, but Octavia found that she felt out of place and uncomfortable in such an environment with no one else. Growing up, there had always been someone nearby - be they a butler, a maid, or even her own mother. Octavia was always in the company of some pony who could play with her, help her study, or even preform her errands. Now, she was growing incredibly bothered by the idea that she was living independent from everything that defined her mother. If this is the cost of living in the sunlight, then so be it. Octavia thought, doing nothing to satisfy her discomfort. As she put the finishing touches on personalizing her kitchen, her ears perked at the gentle sound of Pearly Water - Symphony #8 and groaned. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, her mother was now calling her to muddle her feelings even further. "Hello, mother?" Ocavia began as she held the large, earth-pony designed device to her ear. "Octavia, dear!" her mothers' caring voice sounded from the other side. "I do hope I am not disturbing you, but I simply wished to see how you were doing. How has the first day of your own life played out?" "Oh, no need to worry, mother, everything has been simply wonderful." Octavia lied, an uneasy silence filling the device. "You know, dearest, you always were a terrible liar." her mother teased, softly. "I understand that you want to separate yourself from me, but please do not feel as though you cannot speak to me about what is bothering you; you would do well to ease your poor mother's heart, with you so far away from home." Octavia gave a small sigh, half in relief, and half in frustration that her mother knew her so well that she practically could keep nothing from her. "I... it is difficult, mother, being on my own. I was aware that it would not be an easy thing, to live on my own in nearly all aspects, but I am facing difficulties with issues I was not even aware I had. I... I may have hurt somepony, already." "Oh, Octavia, do not fret." her mother reassured her. "I am sure it was a simple misunderstanding, or perhaps you just misread their reaction. What all was said?" Octavia gave a guilty swallow as she recalled the meeting after class with Vinyl, repeating the tale to her mother in great detail. When she had finished, Octavia stood silently, waiting, as her mother thought over the situation. "I have had regrets, you know." Mezzo began. "About how I raised you. It was difficult, after your father passed away, and I have almost never stopped questioning myself, asking myself each night if I had done the right thing that day. Do you remember the charming little earth pony colt with the blue coat and yellow mane whom you invited to your eighth birthday?" "Glitter Star? Your memory continues to astound me, mother." Octavia laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Yes, well, there was a reason he was unavailable to play with you after your birthday. I... I told his parents that he was unsuitable for you. He was a colt, after all, and I had heard stories about how he would get rather physical when he played with his friends. Colts will be colts but, nevertheless, all I could imagine was him accidentally hurting you. That fear plagued my mind for many nights, and I felt justified in my decision until your seventeenth birthday." A feeling of dread overcame Octavia as she began to put the pieces together. "...Sapphire Shores?" she asked, uneasy. "I am afraid so." her mother admitted. "When she spoke to you after your performance, you were in tears for the rest of the night. She had meant her comment as a joke, dear - she truly respected you and adored your music. But, I realized just how late I was to correct my decisions. Because I kept almost every pony you could have had a chance to develop a friendship with out of your life to try and protect you, you were woefully unprepared for the rest of the world when you finally did leave your comfort zone, if only for a moment." Octavia remained silent as she processed her mothers' words, struggling to not lash out. She is the reason I have always been uncomfortable outside of my house... Octavia thought, her brow furrowing and her eyes wandering as feelings of betrayal welled up inside her before her mother spoke up, once again. "I am sorry, my sweet Octavia." her mother quietly apologized, regret heavy on her voice. "I cannot fix the mistakes of my past, but I can help you to build your future. Go to this new friend of yours and apologize. Place yourself below her, admit your faults and attempt to reconcile. Do not give up, do not let this mare pass you by. You are so much better than that, my dearest Octavia. You are worth so much more." Author's Note If you got pinged about an update after this chapter was already published, I'm sorry. I was just fixing an error in Octavia's speech for consistency. RegretsOne more class to go. Octavia thought, withholding a smile. This is it. I'm going to march in there, sit down next to her, and apologize. Octavia took a deep, reassuring breath as she calmed herself and set her worries aside. Her mind had been swarming for the last two nights with thoughts of resentment towards her mother for denying her so many chances, fears that she would be forever broken, and worry over what she had said to Miss Scratch. She didn't mean for what she said to have had such a negative impact on her, but that didn't change the fact that it did, and Octavia was determined to make it right, to prove to herself that she was not broken, that she could live her life to its fullest and have a chance at everything she had ever wanted. She had played the conversation in her head from every angle, over and over, so much that she found herself garnering peculiar glances from her classmates as she realized she had become completely entranced in her own thoughts, at times. She shook her head with an inward smile, finding humor in how she was fretting over the situation. Yes, she felt guilty, and yes she wanted to make amends. It was who she was, at heart: a caring pony who, deep down, didn't want to hurt anyone. Still, she found it humorous the lengths at which she had gone to right this bad experience. Had she not known any better, Octavia might even entertained the thought that she cared a little- "Pardon me, Miss Philharmonica." Professor Steel-Shield stated, pulling Octavia from her thoughts as she turned to face her steely-eyed instructor who simply stared at her, impatiently, until he cleared his throat and motioned behind her. Oh! Of course! Octavia realized as she turned to see what was behind her. She had been standing in front of the door to her psychology class for the past two minutes, staring silently at the wooden door with the large framed window. She sheepishly stepped out of the way to allow the pegasus the opportunity to unlock and step through the door before Octavia followed and took her seat at the front, on the opposite side of the aisle, this time, right next to where Miss Scratch was supposed to sit. As she waited for the rest of her classmates to arrive, she replayed the scripted conversation she had written out in her head, quietly mouthing the words of both parties to herself. "Good evening, everypony. Glad to see at least some of you showed up." Professor Steel-Shield began, turning to write on the board behind him. Octavia blinked in surprise as she looked around the room, noticing at least six more empty chairs than there were two days ago. Octavia realized, with a pained frown, that Miss Scratch was one of those absent. Did I hurt her enough to make her drop out? Octavia began to worry as she critically replayed the initial conversation for the thousandth time. "Judging by the fact that Miss Scratch is not in attendance, I can only imagine that the reason for so many missing students is yet another party." the professor guessed, bitterly, as he sharply underlined today's lesson. Octavia, however, was far too engrossed with the fears and worry within her own mind to truly focus on today's lesson, and she found herself periodically glancing back at the door, hoping to see even a tuft of electric blue hair outside the door. "Miss Philharmonica." Professor Steel-Shield announced, pulling Octavia from her thoughts with a jump. "If you would like to leave, you are free to do so, although I would have expected better from a member of the Piast family. However, if you would like to stay with the rest of us in class, perhaps you can tell me what the oldest psychological debate is, and what it means. If you were really paying attention, now is the time to prove it." Octavia froze in her chair, stifling a blink as she locked eyes with the fierce-looking professor, who seemed to stare fury deep into her soul. She struggled to remember something, anything, that the professor had said before his question, and found her mind coming up blank. She felt ashamed as she let her head hang, defeated and utterly humiliated - this was unlike her! She had always paid attention in classes, scoring high above her peers. Now, she couldn't even remember the rest of the students coming into class. "Nature versus nurture." the professor stated as he turned to address the class, having received nothing but silence from Octavia. "Two conflicting theories on when ponies develop themselves. Are we wholly made at birth, destined to fill a predetermined mold based on our genetics? Or are we shaped, over time, by our environment? Or, perhaps, are both true? How much is within our control?" Octavia dutifully gave her teacher her full attention, now, her shame burning resolve in her mind that Miss Scratch was not going to be coming to class, today. Eventually, class drew to a close, and the professor turned to address the class as a whole: "Given the lack of determination displayed by those who chose not to attend day two of the first days of their life, anyone who finds that their partner no longer takes this class will be given a waving grade for the assignment. You will pass, but you will be sorely missing out on a phenomenal psychology lesson. If you have contact with your partner, and they are debating dropping out, talk with them about it for more sake than just that of your own grade." "With that out of the way, let's see who here is taking this as seriously as it is. Would anyone care to share what they've learned about their partners, so far?" Professor Steel-Shield asked. "Don't be shy, I'm going to be reading all of this when you write it down the last week of class. Yes?" A yellow coated mare with a green mane slowly stood up as she lowered her hoof and struggled to maintain her balance. "I... I learned that my good buddy Dewdrop used to work for the Weather Patrol in Ponyville." the mare stated, her voice slow and heavy, as though she were hungover. "And he has a little sister that he worries will think he abandoned her, so he writes her a neat little letter every day." "Miss Sunshower, did you come to my class intoxicated?" Professor Steel-Shield questioned, a hint of fury building on his tongue that caused the young mare's eyes to widen as she shook her head. "N-No, sir. I'm just very tired. I stayed up too late, uh... partying." the mare stammered as her voice grew quiet. "Then see that you straighten out your priorities and get a full nights' sleep." the stallion frowned. "Impressive, nonetheless. Mister Dewdrop, what have you learned about Miss Sunshower?" "I-I learned that Sunshower was actually in the weather management portion of the Weather Patrol at the same time I was a junior cadet in the skyway patrol portion." Dewdrops informed. "A-And she's an only child but she's always been jealous of siblings." "Wonderful work, you two." the professor nodded as the two took their seats, once more. "Theirs is a good start into what this project was designed to do. Already, they've found similar interests and even learned funny coincidences. This is the start of a good friendship between them, that much I can tell, already. Class is dismissed." Octavia found herself practically stumbling over her hooves in an effort to catch Sunshower before she could leave, making sure to recompose herself as the mare raised a tired glance to her. "Miss Sunshower? By any chance, did you happen to see Miss Scratch at the party you attended, last night?" A tired nod came from the mare as she pushed the rest of her books into her saddlebag. "Would you be able to put me in contact with Miss Scratch? She and I are partners and we failed to adequately discuss methods of communication, yesterday." Octavia asked, to which the mare blankly stared. "That... Is a lot of big words..." she mumbled, to herself. "She wants DJ-Pon3's number." Dewdrop reassured her, snapping the mare from her confusion as realization covered her face. Octavia practically beamed as the mare took out her phone. Vinyl Scratch gave a slight groan as she slowly opened her eyes. Her head was pounding, the light was killing her, and she couldn't find her shades to save her life. The mare chose to close her eyes, once more, as she tried to assess the situation without sight. Bile. I taste bile. That means- Vinyl thought, before her eyes shot open and her mouth began expelling whatever she had consumed, last night. The mare blinked and shuddered as she regained her senses, realizing with a sigh that she was going to have to clean that up. With a start, Vinyl followed the splotch of her vomit all the way up the strawberry-colored chest of the passed out mare whom she had been sleeping atop, and her face grew red as memories came rushing back. She had stared at Cherry Blast's text for only a few moments before her mind was made, instantly tapping out a request for an address. The next moment, she was on the cold Fillydelphia streets, shivering inside her black hoodie as she bobbed her head in anticipation of killer tunes, her current headset quiet while her shades sat firmly on her face even in the dead of night. She remembered hearing the party before she saw it, and a quick knock on the door was all she needed to gain entrance. Sometimes, Vinyl thought. Being famous has its benefits. She recalled the alcohol running down her chin as she chugged to the chant, finishing her mug while the poor mare who had challenged her had hardly even started her. She remembered the familiar papery feeling on her tongue as she made her way to the dance floor, forever caught in the addicting beats that threatened to rip her very spirit asunder. Memories of the strawberry mare with an orange mane flooded her mind as she remembered how she had swayed and bumped her way to Vinyl's side until the two were practically grinding on each other. The only logical step after the song had ended was to pin the eager mare against the wall and drag her lips across her snout and down her neck, tracing her belly, until they found their home in the hot, wet regions in between the mare's legs. Vinyl found her face flushing, once more, as she vividly recalled every flick of her tongue, every gasp that escaped her lips, and every spasm she caused the mare, until the favor was soon returned. She remembered the party carrying on well into the next day, with guests filing out just as soon as more poured in. She didn't remember falling asleep after the second night, let alone pressed firmly against Cherry Blast's chest. Vinyl felt used, and clambered over the mare in disgust as feelings of betrayal flooded her mind while she searched for her shades and headset. Did she really just invite me to eat me out? Vinyl thought, with a huff. She wasn't opposed to mares, and she was no stranger to several stallions, but something didn't sit right with how the situation played out to Vinyl. Snatching up her shades from under a crushed pizza box and swiping her dangling headset from the ceiling fan, the recovering mare carefully picked her way through the few ponies who were too drunk enough to safely make it home as they lay, dead asleep, on surfaces around the house. Finding her way into the kitchen, she quickly secured a pair of wash cloths and returned to the sleeping mare; carefully wiping and cleaning the vomit from her chest as Vinyl did her best not to wake her or dwell on the bitter feelings swimming through her head. Unable to locate the washing machine, Vinyl resorted to leaving the dirty rags in the bathroom sink, as some frisky couple had awoken in the bath tub and were attempting to recreate their previous night, together. Having no other reasons to stick around, Vinyl made her way out of the house and down the street, thankful for her shades as she caught the sun high in the sky. Oh fuck! Vinyl thought, with a start, as she whipped out her phone to check the time. It was 5:02 in the afternoon, nearly fifteen minutes after her last class ended. She internally screamed at herself for allowing herself to fall so low, to let an entire day go by. She prayed to Celestia that Neon Lights wouldn't find out that she had missed her second day of school to go partying - she dreaded the conversation that would bring. Would he forgive her? Would that be the last straw, he giving up on her and accepting her as a failure, finally abandoning a shitty pony after all these years of heartbreak? Vinyl fought back tears and hurried home, not wanting to deal with anything other than food and a shower. As she hurried through the door into her apartment, she scarcely felt her phone buzz in the pocket of her hoodies as she crawled out of it and tossed her gear onto the bed, trotting into the shower. Vinyl could hold her emotions back no further as the cold water hit her back, quickly growing warm. She slid down to the floor of the shower and firmly held her forehead against the wet tile as she gritted her teeth and let the tears flow into her white coat. She had tried convincing herself that it was different, at one point, that she wasn't like her father; an alcoholic who spent his days despising his grueling office work and watching television with several beers on standby. He hardly ever glanced at her mother, let alone address his daughter. In the rare case when he did, tears were shed and threats were hurled from either side as Vinyl did her best to tune the two out. When she was young, her solace had been burying her face into the side of her Princess Luna plush. As she grew older, her cope turned into drawing, then music, and finally she joined her father in destroying himself as she began stealing his own beer, her young mind fooled by the belief that if she simply drank it all, her father would have nothing left and he would get better. She snorted at herself in disgust as she slowly stood up. So much for not turning out like him. she thought, bitterly, as she began pouring shampoo into her fur, idly scrubbing herself as she sniffed away tears and replaced her misery with resentment. "Weakness ran in her blood" she remembered some asshole cop muttering as her father was whisked away to jail once again. As much as she hated it, as much as she fought to change it, she always found herself failing just like her mother and father had. Her mother was hopeless to change her situation, becoming too dependent on him and his abusive tendencies, and Vinyl grew disgusted with home life to the point where she had even tried to run away, at some point. Her family was such a failure, that Vinyl could only remember one nice thing her father had done for her: As soon as she graduated high school, a year behind, her 19th birthday present had been her father swinging from the ceiling of their living room. Shortly after that, her mother grew emotionally detached, and Vinyl found no resistance when a moving truck came to get her things for her. It was a past that Vinyl tried her hardest to push away, but every time she found herself waking up after another party, the cops' muttering words flooded her head once more, and it all came rushing back. The unicorn rinsed herself clean and shut off the cool water, wrapping her mane in a lengthy towel as she dried herself. Vinyl was grateful that the mirror was fogged, not wishing to see herself in such an emotionally and physically disheveled state. Content with her dryness, she made her way into the kitchen and shoved a cup of noodles into the microwave, finding herself lost in the slow turns and hums of the microwave until a buzz from her bedroom pulled her from her thoughts. Glancing at the time left for her food, Vinyl rounded the corner into the hallway and into her bedroom, where she lay on her bed as she fished her phone out of the crumbled, musty hoodie. One missed call: 919-438-7692 One new voicemail. Vinyl raised an eyebrow as she read the notification. It wasn't strange that she received unknown callers, but it was especially strange that they left a voicemail, as anywhere that would hire her for a gig was already in her contacts, and she practically shared numbers with any religious party-goers like herself. With a shrug, she unlocked her phone and connected to her voicemail, floating the phone to her ear as the microwaved beeped. "Hello, Miss Scratch, this is Octavia." the voice began. Vinyl suppressed a groan, wondering which poor pony she would have to murder to find out who gave this prissy princess her number. "I wanted to apologize for the turn our conversation on Monday took. I... Am often unaware of how to properly act in social situations due to lack of experience in my youth, although that is no proper excuse. I was wondering if you would be willing to meet with me outside of school, on neutral ground, so that we may get to know each other." Vinyl rolled her eyes as she levitated her dinner from the microwave and pulled a fork from inside a cup in her sink. "I am not doing this for the grade, Miss Scratch. It was wrong of me to focus so much on my schooling when this new adventure is truly about forging my own path in the world, and I would like that path to start with you, as a friend. I feel as though we may be able to assist in each others' needs." Vinyl winced at the thought, more out of genuine fear rather than spite, as she brought a fork full of noodles into her mouth. "If you would be willing to forgive me, I would be honored to meet you tonight, between six o'clock and nine o'clock. Please call me when you receive this message." Vinyl set her phone on the counter as the voicemail ended, battling herself as she stuffed more noodles into her face.Vinyl was put off by this mare, someone she had pushed away within the first day of meeting. She hated the way the mare held herself, speaking so carefully that it almost made Vinyl want to slap the silly out of her so she could have a normal conversation. She didn't want to risk hurting this mare, to get her hopes up only to destroy them once she learned of her issues. But, deep down, Vinyl really wanted to say yes. Vinyl only needed one moment more to make her decision, before her phone was floating in front of her face once more, with quiet magical taps dotting the screen. You talk a lot. Sent at 6:09 P.M. It took no less than a minute before her phone buzzed to life once more, capturing the mare's full attention as she dumped her now empty container into the slightly overflowing trash can. Forgive me, much of my life has been spent by myself, being groomed to such a high standard that I never had the opportunity to understand how life operated outside of my tiny circle. From Octavia, received at 6:10 P.M. Vinyl found herself smirking in appreciation. For as high class and proper as she pertained to be, she certainly had some sense of humility. Vinyl found it comforting as she typed her response, thankful that this mare wasn't entirely snobby. It's cool, I forgive you. Where did you want to meet up? Sent at 6:12 P.M. Faster than Vinyl thought possible for an earth pony, her reply came in, causing the unicorn to bite her lip as she tried to imagine how this mare typed so quickly. The Teacup CafĂ© on University Street, 6:30? From Octavia, received at 6:13 P.M. Vinyl smiled and grabbed her gear before heading out the door. The Teacup CafĂ©Vinyl felt surprisingly disappointed as she pushed open the glass door to the rather small cafĂ©. It was nearly empty, with much of its business being conducted in the day, but it still offered a home and a quiet place to study for those few students who remained, nestled in their corner booths with books spilling over the table. She didn't know why she was so disappointed - she only lived three minutes away, and it was foalish to expect the mare to have beaten her here, already. As she took a window seat in a booth, a shadow spilled out across her table and Vinyl fished out her notebook and pencil from within her hoodie. "What can I get for you, this evening?" the cream colored mare with a mocha brown mane calmly asked. Her voice was low and kind, careful not to disturb the peace for her other customers, as she held a little pad and pen at the ready in her magic. Vinyl scribbled her response as the mare patiently stood by, giving a small nod as she scribbled onto her own notepad and spun on her heels towards the service counter, leaving Vinyl to idly survey the cafĂ© in a bide to pass the time. It was an older shop, she could tell that even through all the remodeling over the years in an effort to keep up with the times. I wonder if the University came first or last. Vinyl thought, amusing herself with the story of an upstart business falling on hard times until the school came around, sending an influx of customers like clockwork and saving the family shop. She found herself smiling softly at the mare as she returned with a gently steaming coffee, which carefully set itself onto the table in front of her as the waitress gave a smile and nod, in return. Vinyl took a breath to calm her nerves as she turned her attention to her cup, soon becoming lost in her own thoughts as the swirl of steam distracted her eyes. She wondered why she had come, although that downhill train of thought was quickly caught as Vinyl found sound reasoning in her desire to change. Anything is worth a shot. she mused, struggling to stave off the crippling thought of Yes, but how many times has that failed? "Do those glasses allow you to see ghosts?" a friendly, teasing voice spoke up, a little too quiet and respectful for even this environment. Vinyl blinked to regain thoughts as she lifted her head to the side to take in the sight of the light gray mare who offered a small, if not awkward smile as she took a chair across the table. "Forgive me, I meant so in jest." Vinyl mentally smacked herself as she realized the mare had been waiting for a response, only to receive silence from the unicorn who was lost in her own thoughts. Vinyl scribbled her words onto her notebook. Sorry, I spaced out. she wrote. "It is quite alright." the mare replied with an affirmative nod as the waitress returned to take the newcomer's order. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me, I can only imagine what annoyance I brought you at the end of our previous encounter." It's fine, really. I forgot about it as soon as I got home. Vinyl lied in scribbles, pausing for a moment before continuing a line underneath. So, how do you want to do this? Vinyl saw a hint of relief play itself out across the mare's lips as she read the first sentence, before she flicked her eyes up to meet Vinyl's in a respectful gaze. "Actually, I was wondering if you would like to lead this conversation. I have proven that I can be a bit... bossy, and I do not believe either of us appreciates that." Vinyl twiddled her pencil around in the air as she considered the mare's words. Why can't I be more like her? a fleeting thought shot out across Vinyl's conscious. She admits her mistakes. Vinyl's thoughts were spared a torrent of poor emotion as the returning waitress spoke up. "One daffodil sandwich with water for the lovely mare - what's the occasion, tonight? First date, or just friends?" she teased. Vinyl didn't have a chance to react as Octavia beat her to the punch with an embarrassed squirm. "J-Just friends! Meeting for a school project!" she immediately blurted, louder than socially acceptable as a blush crossed her snout. "W-Why would you think we were...?" The waitress gave an amused smile as she gave an apologetic nod. "My mistake - I've been servicing this cafĂ© for the last twenty years and I like to think I've become rather good at reading my customers: a well groomed mare meeting another mare who hides behind her glasses and a hoodie at night? The gossip would be absolutely delicious!" the mare continued, eliciting no reaction from Vinyl as the white unicorn simply stared. "Of course, I've been wrong before. But, just in case I'm right, no need to fret, hun: there's a reason our city has filly in the name." With a wink, the waitress turned herself back towards the kitchen and disappeared behind the swinging doors as Vinyl focused once more on the notebook in front of her. What's your favorite color? she scribbled, catching a grateful glance from Octavia as Vinyl broke the ice. "Pink." Octavia informed, flatly, as she motioned to the simple little bow tie that adorned her neck. Cute. Your turn. Vinyl wrote, her face betraying no emotion. In truth, she felt at ease, more than anything else; she had frequently been accosted by fans before, so she grew used to the brash nature of their words and requests, from autographs to confirming the latest gossip. Vinyl wasn't exactly well known for quiet sit-downs, and her sexual life earned her quite a reputation, so it stood to reason that if this waitress knew anything about her that she would think something deliciously scandalous was happening in her little cafĂ©, and Vinyl found great comfort in Octavia's well-to-do politeness. If she knows anything about me, Vinyl thought. I'm glad she's not showing it. "What about your favorite color?" Octavia inquired, politely folding one hoof over the other as she refused to touch her food or drink. Blue, like my mane. Vinyl scribbled. You alright? You're not eating. "Oh, I assure you I am fine. It is considered rude to eat in front of one who has no food, but even more rude to order nothing when your guest has ordered something." Octavia informed with a curt nod as Vinyl raised an eyebrow. Seems like it's designed to make you fail no matter what. she wrote. If you're hungry, eat. Nopony here cares about that. Octavia opened her mouth as if to defend her teachings, but found herself soon agreeing as she closed her mouth and looked down at her food. She is right. Octavia admitted, regretfully, as she began to understand the entrapment of many of her teachings. This is not upper Fillydelphia, the rules are different and I do not wish to stand out... As the gray mare began quietly chewing her sandwich, Vinyl continued on her notebook. You mentioned your mother, yesterday. What's she like? "She is caring, as any mother, but perhaps too protective of me." Octavia explained after a small swallow of her meal. "When I was younger, she loomed over me and guided my every step. In some places I thank her, such as with my education, but in others it dawns on me just what I missed out on with her controlling my life." I know how that feels. Vinyl wrote. Mom and dad basically tried to shut me in a box; they didn't let me do anything outside the house other than school, but they didn't try and do anything with me at home. "That sounds positively horrible!" Octavia said as she expressed her concern by lowering her sandwich. "How did you manage it?" Snuck out a lot. Vinyl wrote, simply. Started hanging out with crowds that I knew would piss my folks off. Of course, dad was too engrossed in his beers to really care, and mom was so wrapped around his hoof that I don't know how she survived afte- Vinyl stopped her pencil dead in its tracks as she caught herself openly delving into territory she considered incredibly private. Why the fuck am I telling her that? the unicorn thought as she scratched out the words after "off". If Octavia had read what Vinyl wrote before she scratched it through, she betrayed her knowledge with only a sad, understanding look in her eyes as she began to change the subject. "Perhaps I have been approaching this too boldly." she admitted. "How would you feel about this: rather than me pressuring you to open up, you ask me absolutely any question and I will answer it to the best of my abilities. No limits, and I must answer. In return, I will only ask simple questions such as what activities entertain you, and the like." Vinyl found herself leaning back in the booth at the mare's offer. Any question, no limits? Vinyl repeated in confusion. Why would you do that? "Because I have found that the best way to get to know someone is by opening yourself, completely, to them. Showing them exactly what you are made of, that there are no secrets or ill intentions." Octavia explained. "My mother told me that, if you can believe it." Vinyl remained pressed back in her seat as she stared down at her notebook in thought, leaving Octavia to resume eating quietly. Vinyl was entirely lost when it came to ideas for questions - she could be incredibly invasive, showing no mercy as she pulled apart this poor mares life, or she could be so delicate that she practically ignored the offer and stuck with barely scratching the surface of either's history. In truth, part of Vinyl knew what this mare was up to: she wanted a friend in the city, someone to show her around and help her fit in. Vinyl's lips pursed as she remembered her night with Cherry Blast and how degraded she had felt, afterwards. Still, Vinyl couldn't help but entertain the thought that this mare, even if she was simply at Vinyl for her own goals, could also be Vinyl's salvation - her freedom from the mess of her current life. If she could just open up to her, she may find someone who pushes her to do better. She may find a friend who didn't grow cold due to her own failures, like Neon had. Vinyl's hopes were put to rest as she hastily scribbled her question. Why do you wear that stupid bow tie? Vinyl wrote, forcing herself to scratch out the insult as an afterthought. Octavia paused for a moment after reading the question, her eyes growing dull as she relived some memory unknown to Vinyl before speaking up. "Because it reminds me of my father. What age are you?" Nice going, idiot. Vinyl quietly berated herself as she took note of the mare's sad demeanor. She had overstepped herself in her effort to force this mare back, to not let her close enough to be hurt. You fucked up anyway. Bravo. 21. Vinyl wrote, the curve in her two waving elegantly in sharp contrast to the strikingly bold line of her one. I'm sorry. I'm not really good at talking to other ponies; my actions tend to tell everyone anything they need to know about me. "And what do your actions say about you?" Octavia asked, sincerely, carefully watching her tone as to not sound accusatory and push Vinyl over the edge. Memories of stumbling home drunk in the dead of night scurried their way across Vinyl's eyes. Throwing up in garbage cans, making out with mares and stallions she had never met before, occasionally stealing over priced things from a store... These were the actions that defined Vinyl's character, and presented her as a mare only looking out for herself, for her next big party, and the ever longing feeling of that papery goodness on her tongue. That I want to change. Vinyl slowly wrote, after several moments of stillness. I'm going to school. Octavia's worried, caring eyes soon brightened as she read the words etched into the notebook. "I think that is absolutely commendable, Miss Scratch. It is not an easy path to walk, let alone choose, and I can only imagine the difficulty one has in admitting their need to change." Call me Vinyl. the unicorn scribbled, her insides tearing as she considered the mare's words. She thinks you're commendable! Vinyl snorted in thought. She thinks you're strong enough to really fucking change who you are, deep down. For all that fancy education, she's an idiot - you're never going to change and you know it. Weakness runs in your blood. "Vinyl," the mare began, with a smile, as her quiet voice pulled the unicorn from her thoughts with a little blink. "Why do you wear those glasses, everywhere?" Vinyl hesitated as she placed the tip of her pencil to the paper. Was this it? The moment of truth Vinyl had been fighting with herself for? If she told this mare everything, maybe she could help her, get her to see that Vinyl knew she was destroying herself and that she felt hopeless to stop it. Or, maybe, Vinyl thought, swallowing her hope as she admitted defeat to the oppressive voice in her mind, once more. She'll see you as a filthy addict and turn her nose up in disgust. Optical photo-sensitivity. Vinyl wrote, explaining only half the truth. Born that way, most lights hurt to look at. Vinyl stared at her half lie with a sadness hidden by her tinted glasses. The full truth was that hefty acid use had left her body only a fraction of what she had once been. Nowadays, even something as simple as a porch light blinded her, anything above a speaking voice threatened to make her ears bleed, her concentration had been shot to the point where she found herself spacing out at nothing more than anything else, and her periodic insomnia and loss of hunger only served to make her irritable beyond all recognition which led to frequent fights - something she was all too happy to partake in. This was who Vinyl was, now, and this is who she would be until she could take it no more before she would inevitably follow in her father's footsteps. Already doing that. Vinyl thought, bitterly, as she did her best to push a craving for liquor away. "Vinyl?" the mare's voice spoke up, once again, to pull the unicorn out of her inner darkness and into the light. "Are you alright? I apologize if I encroached onto a sensitive subject." I'm fine. she scribbled, lying to herself to ease the pain. Octavia simply looked sadly into those reflective purple glasses, seeing her own reflection. The quiet, careful stare shared between them was only known by Vinyl, and that made the silence all the more painful before Octavia began to speak. "I do not want to push you into an uncomfortable position, and I will leave if you so wish-" Octavia began, before Vinyl suddenly shifted in her seat. No! Vinyl quickly jutted down as she interrupted the mare, only smacking herself after the fact for such an impulsive action; something she was all too familiar with. "...but it is quite apparent that you are in great pain and likely being far too hard on yourself. I hate to see others in pain, let alone feel powerless to help them..." Octavia continued, her head turned down as if in shame. Vinyl briefly wondered if she felt ashamed for not offering sooner, or if helping others was something snobby ponies looked down on. "Can I help you, Vinyl? Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?" Vinyl stared at the gray mare with her mouth slightly ajar, in shock. She's asking you if she can help...? Vinyl thought, as though such an act was foreign to her. It was as though this mare had stepped through a door into an alternate dimension and happily clashed with every expectation thrown at her. It was unreal. Vinyl fought herself each step of the way as her pencil found itself gripped in her light blue magic, slowly rightening itself as it hovered over the paper. Within her mind, Vinyl was wracked with uncertainty, fear, a fleeting sense of hope, and found herself incredibly uneasy. Completely overcome with anxiety, Vinyl shuddered as her eyes widened and her dinner presented itself pouring over her notebook with a sickening sound of sludge in motion. Before Octavia could blink, she was on her hooves and bolting out the door; scarcely paying attention to a pleading cry from the gray mare to wait. "Vinyl, wait!" Octavia pleaded immediately after she had recovered from the shock of the unicorn vomiting before her. The next instant, she found herself setting a stack of bits to cover both meals on the table as the waitress emerged from the back with a perplexed look on her face as Octavia bolted after her friend. "I am terribly sorry, Miss!" Octavia hardly concerned herself with her appearance as an unruly mare as the door slammed outward in her haste. Few ponies were around, and she found herself no longer caring what others thought of her as she surveyed the street for any signs of a fleeing white mare. She spotted her friend not a moment too soon, as the unicorn bolted into a building further down the street, away from the University. "Vinyl, please wait!" she found herself yelling, too late as the mare disappeared through the double doors. It didn't take long for Octavia to reach them, as well, and she eagerly pushed her way through to discover a tidy little lobby with a sign above the curved desk that sat in the center of the room: Turtledove Apartments. Regaining her composure despite the older looking receptionist not even casting a glance in her direction, Octavia cleared her throat and let her face settle into a neutral demeanor as she approached. "Pardon me, Miss." Octavia began, respectfully, as the gray-maned mare lifted her head from her computer. "Does a Vinyl Scratch live here?" The mare returned to her computer, typing a few buttons as the light changed on her face. "Room fifty-two, east end of the building." the mare informed her, boredly, before returning completely to her work. Octavia found the room rather easily, it being the last door on the left, and raised her hoof to knock on the dark wooden door with resounding force - polite, yet commanding. "Vinyl? This is Octavia." she began, pressing her snout against the door. "I apologize for pressing too far, I should have known to leave well enough alone and to respect your boundaries." Silence from beyond the door made Octavia wonder if she was even being heard, of if the mare had her head under a pillow, shutting the world out. Octavia sighed, sadly, as she sat before the door and thought of what to say. "I did not mean to upset you, I only meant to offer you my help if you so wished it. I did not want you to feel as though you were forced to accept it. I..." Octavia felt her forehead press into the door as tears welled up in her eyes. Congratulations, you stupid pony. Octavia thought. You have gone and sullied the best chance you had at a friendship, even worse you hurt this poor mare enough that she is hiding in her own home probably sobbing her heart out. At once, everything came pouring out of Octavia as her composure was utterly destroyed in the lonely hallway. "I... I'm sorry, Vinyl. Ever since I was a little filly, I was forced to live a life that I didn't want, forced to be somepony I wasn't." Octavia cried. "I could never bring myself to argue against my mother, to tell her what I was feeling. She would have scolded me and brushed off my desires as childish and insisted that I was too young to know what I wanted, to know how the world worked." Octavia paused and tried to catch her breath through her nose, to no avail. "But I know who I am, and I know what I want! It's just.. so very difficult to break out of this mold my mother poured me into. All my life, I've been expected to act, speak, and think a certain way and I've hated it! But I could never learn any better until..." Octavia paused and caught her breath with a large inhale as memories of her seventeenth birthday came flooding back to her. She had played her cello, a new opening piece of her own writing, as a closing to her party-goers; a short thank you for their attendance. Sapphire Shoes, a young pony whose life had been captivated by opera and whom Octavia had come to respect called her performance "Not bad" with a smile and a wink. It was a light hearted comment, meant as a compliment, but Octavia's sheltered life had forced her into rigid expectations when it came to praise. Ponies were supposed to critique the work of others, to praise its success with lavish descriptions and compliments. Octavia had simply never expected someone to critique her work in such a downplayed manner. She told all of this to Vinyl, or perhaps Vinyl's empty room, as tears dripped down her cheeks and coated her right hoof from periodic wiping. She hadn't wanted to hurt this pony, she hadn't meant to appear so abrasive. She only wanted to help, and now she hoped that she could explain her failures away so that Vinyl would rush out and forgive her. All she wanted was- Click. Octavia raised her head to eye the knob with hopeful eyes as she processed the sound that had almost certainly come from the lock. A moment after, she steadied herself as the door cracked open just enough for Octavia to see a tired looking red eye peering out from a pitch black apartment, floating a torn sheet of paper out into the hallway. You used a contraction. it said, as Vinyl cast a raised brow at the mare. "I... What?" Octavia stammered in confusion as she wiped away the rest of her tears. You've never used a single contraction in the entire time I've heard you speak. Vinyl wrote. Octavia sat, speechless, as she stared into those wincing red eyes. It was true, she had never used a contraction, before; it was considered improper and made her seem uneducated. Yet here she was, bawling at the door of a pony she had only met three days ago, falling to pieces. And those eyes... Vinyl pulled the note back into her home as the door swung open all the way and the unicorn took a step back, begrudgingly flicking her head to the side as if to invite her in. Just friendsVinyl did her best not to pay attention to the disdainful way Octavia glanced around her dirty, dark apartment, leading the mare to the only room she had that was appropriate for lounging, the bedroom, and did her best to guide her through only the light coming from her horn. As they stepped through the door, Vinyl made a point to leave it ajar as she climbed onto the far end of the bed with her back to her broken turntable, and levitated an empty notebook and a half consumed bottle of liquor to her side. She stared at Octavia, expectantly, as she watched her squint and look around the room with little waves of her hoof. Am I fucking stupid? Vinyl thought as she realized the mare couldn't see. Lighting a small candle that sat upon her dresser illuminated the room with a dim glow bright enough to not bother Vinyl while allowing Octavia to see as she now looked around for someplace other than the bed to sit. Another flick of Vinyl's head told the mare that there was no other spot, but she was welcome to climb up. With hesitation at the unfamiliarity of the situation, Octavia placed a hoof on the sheets and lifted herself up. I'd hate to see the look on that waitresses face. Vinyl thought, as a realization of the scenario dawned on the unicorn, who opened her notebook with a hoof. Sorry, I'd turn on a light for you and wear my glasses, but I took out my light bulbs when I moved in. Saves me a lot of money, too. she wrote. Octavia didn't need to crane her neck or wait for Vinyl to turn her notebook towards her, as the two were practically in each others' face. Octavia felt cramped and crowded in this small room, on this tiny bed, and she struggled to understand how somepony would live like this, in an apartment with only three rooms! "It is alright, I cannot expect you to bend to my whims in your own home, after all." Octavia admitted as she teetered on the edge of the bed, trying to gain some personal space. Why did you start using contractions? Vinyl wrote, waiting for Octavia to explain as she took a quick swig from her drink. "I... I do not entirely know." the gray mare admitted. "I wonder if it is because I grew so overwhelmed and I dropped my guard, so to speak, and all of my... upbringing washed away..." You should drop your guard more often. the unicorn scribbled. Makes you more approachable. You seem too snobby, otherwise. Octavia's nose scrunched at the comment, but she held her tongue as she took a deep breath and focused inwards, unsure of how to let years of social training wash away. Before she could try, more pencil scratches told Octavia that another question was coming from Vinyl. Why are you here? read the scribbles. "I came to apologize. I did not mean to make you uneasy nor unwell, and I..." Octavia paused, searching her mind for the right, careful words. One misstep and she might find herself on the other side of that apartment door, once again. "I would like to be able to confide in someone who does not expect so much from me. I would like a friend." Vinyl took another, much larger, swig from her bottle before it floated down to her side, once more, and she stared at the paper, blankly. Octavia's mind began to ebb with fear, hoping she had not chosen the wrong words and praying that she could find a way to actually salvaged this. Before she could speak, Vinyl's pencil wiggled to life. Only if you keep using contractions. she had written, causing Octavia to tilt her head in confusion at the unusual request, before Vinyl continued. I don't like to admit that I need help, but I do. So if we're going to be helping each other you need to do something for me, and I'll do something for you. For me, you need to not come off as a snob. You need to appear like someone I can talk to. So keep using contractions and ditch that prissy speech. Octavia considered the mare's words, carefully, not so much focusing on her demands but more so paying attention to her admittance. She knew Vinyl had been deeply troubled by something, but the extent of her issue was only becoming more apparent as she learned more about this mare. "I wi... I'll try." Octavia promised, with a smile. "But you will... You'll be more honest with me. I want to help you, Vinyl, but I can't if I don't know exactly what is bothering you or why." With a quiet sigh and a slight nod, the unicorn agreed before she tilted her head back and finished the final quarter of her bottle in a single go; setting the empty bottle onto the dresser as she pulled her notebook close. I have a drinking problem. she began, moving to the next line as she formed a list of her issues. I have a drug problem. I abuse acid. I have sex with ponies I don't even know. My eyes hurt all the time. I get lots of headaches. Parties are the only way I can let it all go and stop hurting for a while. I am weak. I hurt everyone I meet. I don't- Octavia tentatively lay a hoof on Vinyl's, snapping the mare from her trance as she realized that tears were streaming down her own face and she had literally torn into the paper at several points. She dropped her pencil in shock as she shivered from the suddenly realized emotions that welled within her, as Octavia bent her head to catch the unicorn's frightened glance. "It's alright, Vinyl. No need to be afraid." She promised, casting a reassuring smile. "You're not weak and, in fact, you're one of the strongest ponies I have had the pleasure of speaking with. You recognize your problems and are actively working to better yourself, and that makes you strong." Vinyl didn't feel strong, however. She felt weak and helpless, even more so as the mare retracted her hoof from atop her own. She closed her eyes, tightly, and struggled to breathe properly as she fought her anxiety and her craving. She was weak. "Vinyl, where are you going?" Octavia asked, as the white mare leapt off the bed and trotted her way around it towards the door, letting Octavia watch her with only a hint of satisfaction that the mare did not barge out the front door. A light grew from somewhere beyond Octavia's vision, in the direction Vinyl had turned, before the sound of clinking glass told Octavia all she needed to know before the mare returned with a case of poorly crafted beer. "Vinyl, I don't think that's such a good idea." I said I have a problem. Dropping it immediately won't fix it, so if you're going to try to stop me you can leave now. Vinyl scribbled, easily popping the cap of her beer off and taking a rather large gulp as her pen wiggled itself to life. Or, you can lighten up and have a beer, yourself. "I'm not old enough to drink." Octavia stated, concerned with the demeanor of her new friend as a beer floated its way to her. And I do acid. You see any cops? Vinyl wrote with a tired glare. Relax, you'd have to drink a thousand of these shitty things to get anywhere near my level of issues, and one isn't enough to even get me tipsy. Octavia eyed the frosted bottle before her with fear. Luna's Moon was stylized in captivating letters, accompanied by the aforementioned princess laying atop the two o's with her own bottle in hoof. Mother warned me about peer pressure. Octavia thought, in worry. But... Do I trust Vinyl? she continued as she glanced at the mare, who was glaring daggers into her almost empty bottle, now - completely oblivious to Octavia and her dilemma and likely lost in her own thoughts. She needs to feel like she's not alone, like she's not a monster... One bottle couldn't hurt... Vinyl blinked out of her depressive trance as she heard clinking of teeth against a glass bottle, and raised her head to see Octavia struggling to get the bottle open with her teeth. Vinyl quietly popped the cap with her magic before returning to finish her first bottle, being too busy fighting off her own thoughts to her Octavia's thanks. Congratu-fucking-lations, Vinyl. the berating voice sounded from within her own head. You've corrupted another pony to your cause. How long until she starts calling you just to host parties? She seems like an amphetamines kind of mare, don't you think? Honestly, why do you even bother reaching out for help? the voice continued, and Vinyl pictured a mocking smile on her inner demon. How many times has this happened, now? How many more ponies are you going to fuck over until you just kick the bucket? Octavia let out a frightened cry as she leapt, backwards, off the bed. Vinyl stood before her on the bed, a mix of rage and sorrow filling her eyes as she threw the empty bottle into the wall beside her, shattering the glass. Vinyl didn't even notice Octavia before she fell back into the bed, face down, as the quiet sound of crying pushed its way out from beneath the covers. Octavia's eyes were wide as her heart slammed against her rib cage, processing what had just happened. A flick of her eyes told her that the door was only a few feet away, and she could be back in the hallway in a matter of seconds. As her heart calmed and the situation deescalated, however, Octavia found her eyes drawn back to the white unicorn mare sobbing into the sheets. She needs me. Octavia thought, building up her resolve. She didn't invite you into her home just so you could leave her behind, Octavia! She needs you to be there for her, right now! She trusts you, because... Octavia lifted the package of beers in her mouth and dutifully trotted out into the hallway, placing them back in the fridge in the kitchen before climbing back up the bed and laying next to the mare; draping her hoof over the unicorn as she pressed her face against her shoulder, comfortingly. Because she's your friend. Octavia smiled, softly as she awoke to the lovely and quiet sound of Dancing Stars' "Instrumental #7", before her smile grew agape as she took in her surroundings and recalled last night's events: she had comforted Vinyl long into the night, until her tears grew quiet and were replaced with gentle breaths as the unicorn slept. As it was far too late to return home, she had chosen to stay just in case Vinyl awoke, but soon fell asleep further up the bed as to give the unicorn her space. Now, however, Octavia found herself laying on her side, with the white unicorn pressed snugly against her chest, with her muzzle firmly planted against her neck. Gentle breaths still pursed the unicorn's lips, blowing hot air into Octavia's fur and causing her heart to thump. As Octavia tried to pull away to get out of bed and turn off her alarm, she found Vinyl's snout slowly chasing her neck, remaining ever pressed into her, and a fierce blush overcame the earth pony. What would other ponies think?! Octavia thought, stitching the entire night's events together - unfortunately well aware of what it would look like to others. But I'm not that kind of mare! She slid out of bed and found freedom from Vinyl's touch, leaving the mare to gently shift as she fruitlessly searched for the prior comfort, still very much asleep. Moving quickly and quietly, Octavia silenced her phone and read the date: 6:00 am on Thursday. Octavia cursed herself for falling out of her routine so easily, completely neglecting last night's personal cello practice, and tiptoed out the room and into the hall before she began her journey back home. She had plenty of time before her first class of the day, but scarce time if she wanted to get home in enough time to begin her daily routine. For a moment, she slowed her pace as she thought about Vinyl and how upset she must be in her life, in that small apartment, and Octavia found herself pulling out her phone and leaving a message for her friend when she awoke. Sorry I wasn't there to make sure you were alright when you woke up. I stayed the night to make sure you were safe, but I have class at nine o'clock and needed to go. Send me a message when you are awake? Sent at 6:04 A.M. Author's Note This is likely it until after 7/7/2018. I've cranked out 6 chapters in the period of three days and need a bit of a break. The Root of Our ProblemsOctavia stifled a yawn for the twelfth time as her eyes began to droop, once more, before they snapped awake yet again. She had managed only a measly three hours of sleep at Vinyl's apartment, and cursed herself for falling so far from her disciplined routine. At one point, it was like clockwork to her - a finely tuned and oiled machine, ticking the days away until her next out-of-the-ordinary event, and she had grown to admire its rigid construction and foundation that planned out every event as to avoid any unwanted surprises. In the past few days, however, she had completely disregarded any semblance of order and self-care in her life as she frequently missed the afternoon cello practice, as well as dinner at times. She began to wonder if this change, trying to establish herself as a separate entity from her mother, may be the cause. Was she acting out against her mother's teachings, subconsciously? Or perhaps she had always been this undisciplined, at heart, and found nopony to keep her on such a track. Octavia could not come to a solid conclusion, and instead allowed her mind to wander, freely, until it wiggled its way back to Vinyl and the night before. Her feelings of the white unicorn were conflicted, to say it simply. She cared about Vinyl, as a friend, and was incredibly proud of the mare when she finally managed to open up and speak about her problems, but part of Octavia worried that it would only get worse if she continued, and the gray mare fearfully recalled Vinyl's outburst. Am I pressing too far? Octavia thought, feebly. How am I to gauge her level of comfort if she always appears uncomfortable? Octavia rested her chin in her upturned hoof as she analyzed her thoughts, being too engrossed within her own mind to be aware of her uncouth posture. Was it wrong of me to follow her home? She opened up, in the end, but perhaps I forced her hoof... Octavia frowned. Perhaps it was worse that I stayed the night - I doubt I would have allowed the same, given the circumstances. Still, she did end up... Octavia's focus snapped back to reality as a furious red blush spread out across her snout, only to quickly be covered by a hoof as she replayed the morning's events in her mind: Vinyl pressed comfortably against her chest, her cool white fur intermingling with Octavia's gray, and the mare's snout making its home against her neck as affectionately warm air penetrated her fur and spread out across her skin. If anything, Vinyl appeared to have appreciated Octavia spending the night, but the gray mare still had her doubts as to if it was the most appropriate decision. "Miss Philharmonica?" a calm and neutral voice came from the front of the class. Her teacher, an older earth pony mare with a faded red mane and a bluish-gray coat stood before all her students, staring at Octavia expectantly as the class fell silent. That blasted name, again. Octavia frowned as she squirmed in her seat and placed her hooves in a more presentable manner. "Yes?" "Very good, then." Mrs. Bellweather nodded, before turning back to her book to continue asking questions regarding last night's reading. Octavia's eyes narrowed as her mouth turned agape, slightly. She felt as though she had missed an important part of the conversation, but was hopeless to put what pieces remained together long enough to form a coherent picture before a snide whisper sounded from behind her. "There goes Miss Philharmonica, again: a prodigy who can't even pay attention in literature class." spoke a quiet pony behind her, followed by a cruel snicker. "What do you suppose her mother would say if she saw how her daughter was acting?" Octavia let her glare be known as she felt fury rising within her chest. This was the last straw, the straw that broke the camel's back. She was tired of being compared to her mother, by her teachers, by her classmates, by common ponies simply wishing to say hello. She was her own mare, Luna damn it to Tartarus, and she would establish herself as such with no regard to the feelings of others. She turned to address her disparaging peers, a piercing gaze cutting through any and all obstacles, as words crawled their way up to her mouth - intent on speaking her mind once and for all. "Pay them no mind, Miss." a careful, calm voice began from her left. She turned to face this new voice as her animosity washed away, taking in the sight of an almost-gray-with-hints-of-purple earth pony sporting a carefully parted, wavy white mane and two content orange eyes. His ever so slight smile spoke well of a confident yet reserved stallion. "Their own mothers would think poorly of them, speaking so negatively of their classmates." Octavia swallowed whatever spiteful words had risen from the depths of her stomach before she returned to face the front of the classroom. "Are you alright?" the stallion continued, quietly, as his eyes remained glued to the teacher. "I could not help but notice that you appear very troubled." Octavia's brow furrowed as she considered discussing her worries with her classmate. Part of her knew that ignoring the teacher for her own conversation was rude and spat in the face of her education, but Octavia relented when she realized that she could not focus on the lesson, regardless, as her thoughts swam with strife. "I... No. I am not alright." she began, with a quiet sigh as she bowed her head, raking her mind for the right words to adequately paint a picture of her concerns. "A friend of mine, whom I admittedly have only know for a few days, is in a rather strangling situation and I want to help her but am not sure how." The stallion gave a small nod to show he was listening despite keeping his eyes forward. "I feel as though I am encroaching too far, but my desire to help another pony in need frequently destroys any social barriers I am aware of. On top of that, I feel trapped in my own life: I have been unable to hold myself to the routine I have lived for the last fifteen years, and every time I try to live my own life somepony decides now is the best time to compare me to my mother." Octavia sighed. "It is unfair - I am my own mare, yet everything I try to do that would establish myself on my own gets twisted into something about my mother not being proud of how I act. I am sick of being held to such expectations, yet I cannot seem to escape them." The stallion remained silent as she finished, his careful eyes revealing nothing but years of experience in keeping his opinions well-guarded, before he whispered his reply. "I admit that I am unfortunately unfamiliar with such experiences. Have you considered seeking professional help from the university psychologists?" "I have not." Octavia admitted, with a sigh, as she turned to face the teacher once more. She felt only somewhat worse than before, having sought help from another only to receive a referral. "I apologize, Miss." the stallion whispered, casting a concerned glance at Octavia. "I truly wish I could be of assistance but, sometimes the best thing we can do is guide another to better help." "Mister Riff and Miss Philharmonica." the teacher interrupted, catching Octavia in an understanding nod. "Are you two quite done? May I have my classroom back, please?" "My apologies, Mrs. Bellweather." the stallion spoke up, bowing his head respectfully. Mrs. Bellweather simply gave the pair a cold gaze from her emerald eyes before returning to her lecture. "Royal Riff, by the way." the stallion whispered, so quietly that Octavia would have missed the comment, completely, had she not caught the movement in the stallion's lips. "Octavia Melody Philharmonica." she whispered back, just as quiet as he, and the two shared a smile. "I do not believe I have your number. Only fitting for two musicians to stay in contact." he whispered. Octavia's eyes slightly widened at the boldness of his request, and how calmly it had rolled off of his tongue, as though he were ordering dinner. That confidence spoke to Octavia, and she withheld a smile as she spoke. "I do not recall giving it to you. How silly of me." Royal Riff's smile broadened as Octavia began wriggling her pencil in her mouth. A small smile crept onto the unicorn's snout as she squirmed atop her bed, clearly enjoying her dream of- Squawk! Vinyl Scratch's eyes winced open at the invasive sound, thankful for her black-out curtains that fought off the mid-day sun that threatened the peaceful dark of the unicorn's lonely apartment bedroom. She gave a slight groan at her pounding headache as she rubbed her eyes free of the gunk that bodies were known to produce during sleep and fumbled around for her glasses, finding them beside her headset atop her bedside table. Something foreign, an ever so slight difference in the unchanging stillness of Vinyl's life made itself known under her hoof, and the unicorn upturned her foreleg to inspect the strangeness: a thin white band of lace with a cute pink bow stitched in the middle. Octavia? Vinyl wondered, to herself, as she pieced together last night's events. Octavia chasing her down after her anxiety-induced outburst, Vinyl reluctantly letting the gray mare into her home, at least one bottle of alcohol downed in almost an instant, and then... Squawk! came the cry, again, snapping Vinyl from her thoughts as a scowl adorned her snout with the pulling back of her curtains. A decently sized raven sat perched atop her windowsill, and turned to face the unicorn as the two were revealed to each other. The bird hesitated, for a moment, before taking flight as Vinyl watched it soar higher and higher into the sky until it vanished behind a building. The symbolism was almost lost on Vinyl, whose mood soured even further as she drew the curtain close and turned back to survey the bed where she had slept beside her friend, thankful for her company, just the night before. But Octavia wasn't here, and that realization was only made worse by the lingering fear that Vinyl had perhaps scared her off for good, that her outburst had been too much and sent the little gray mare who only wanted to help Vinyl stop hating herself scurrying for cover. The emotional pain was soon accompanied by physical as Vinyl made her away around the bed, letting out a pained gasp as something sharp tore into her hoof. Idiot. she told herself as she winced, lifting a hoof to carefully step over the shards of glass that littered her carpet at the foot of her bed as she limped into the bathroom to tend to her wound. Shards came out easily with magical persuasion, blood clotted and was soon bandaged, but Vinyl still felt the burning sensation in her hoof as she stared into the sink and washed down the mistakes of last night. Vinyl found herself looking up into her surprisingly clean mirror as a wave of pity fell over her. Her mane was disheveled, her fur matted in odd locations and directions, a semblance of a frown constantly adorned her snout, and her head hung rather dejectedly. This is how Vinyl walked through life, hopes dashed as she made her way to the next big distraction. But today is different. Vinyl thought, furrowing her brow as she stared into the reflective purple lenses of her glasses. With a tentative pause, she slowly enveloped her glasses in her magical aura and slid them off of the bridge of her nose; staring into her vibrantly red eyes. Though tired and half closed, with bags underneath, Vinyl's heart skipped a beat as she noticed a glimmer from her iris, a momentary shimmer that told her she had taken the first step. It told her that she had done well. But Vinyl's frown remained as she replaced her glasses, the negative part of her conscious quickly beating any feelings of hope she had into a pulp. She had felt periodic joy, of course, but whenever it wasn't drug induced it was soon squashed as life threw another curve ball her way, and Vinyl knew it would only be a matter of time before the curve ball came flying. She stepped into the hallway as she mentally placed the day: Thursday. It was a free day for Vinyl, before two nights of gigs would occupy most of her time, and today was usually spent zoning out at the television or drinking until a party later in the night. But today is different. Vinyl thought, once again, fighting back against the oppressive voice within her. I took a step in the right direction, damn it! That has to count for something, doesn't it?! Vinyl shook her head in an attempt to dislodge the voice, knowing she was losing the battle, until a soft buzzing sound came from her bedside table which attracted the dulled unicorn; thankful for a distraction. Two new messages. read her screen, obscuring either message as the device dutifully notified its owner. Vinyl was slow to unlock her phone, fearing one of her fake friends was asking her to attend another event, and Vinyl wasn't entirely sure what her answer would have been. Her fears were soon put to rest, however, as the twin messages appeared in summary: one from Octavia, and the other from Neon Lights. The unicorn did her best to ignore the first message, instead looking over Neon Light's as she carefully began picking the glass out from within the carpet. Hey, Vinyl. How was your first week of school? From Neon Lights, received at 3:12 P.M. Vinyl's worries faded away as she replied to Neon Lights, providing him with a hefty summary of the last four days. She winced as she forced herself to explain how she had missed the second day of school and how she had hurt her new friend, already, but found her mood improving as she told him of the night before despite her outburst. I'm proud of you, you know? Listen, I'm in the area for the next few hours and was wondering if you wanted to catch up at The Feed Bag? 4? From Neon Lights, received at 3:20 P.M. Vinyl nodded at her phone as she responded, as though Neon could see her. She slipped into her hoodie once more and stuffed her pockets with a notebook, pencil, and her phone, but stopped short as she reached for her headset. She had placed Octavia's bow on her bedside table, and Vinyl hesitated to entertain the thought of inviting Octavia to meet her ex. Is it weird? Vinyl mused as she shook her head clear of the nonsense and grabbed her headset as she turned to the door, before a feeling won over the mare as she returned for the bow; stuffing it inside her hoodie. I'll ask her if she's busy after Neon and I are done. "Miss Philharmonica?" the gentle voice of the receptionist sounded, pulling Octavia from her worries as she adorned a polite smile and slid off of her chair. "Professor Starry Night will see you, now." Octavia gave a respectful nod in appreciation as she passed the desk, making her way down the hall and into the office of her school psychologist. He was a short, pudgy earth pony with a dark blue coat and a short, spikey yellow mane. He smiled at Octavia as she entered, and adjusted his wide-brimmed glasses as she sat. "Miss Philharmonica, welcome! My name, as you may have guessed, is Starry Night. I am your psychologist for the year." The stallion laughed in a friendly tone that betrayed his age as he shifted some loose papers on his desk into a rather large file. "Now, before we begin, I do have a few questions that I hope you can answer. I've been going over your file-" the stallion explained as he patted the bloated manila folder. There must be over five hundred pages in there! Octavia thought, in disbelief, as she eyed the folder with shocked eyes. "And I must say, it is quite impressive. But there are a few gaps." the stallion noted, as his tone grew serious. He paused and gauged Octavia's reaction as she turned her attention back to him and saw a small gulp of worry travel down her throat. "You have an extensive psychology report but I'm not seeing any completion letters in here, and my worry is only compounded by the fact that you specifically requested my help rather than that of your own psychology teacher, Professor Steel-Shield. Miss Philharmonica, do you feel any of your previous concerns have been properly addressed and resolved?" Octavia found herself dumbfounded at the direct approach of this stallion. It was true that she had seen many psychologists in her younger years, all at the behest of her mother for sometimes silly things such as feeling sad over the loss of a toy, but all of her previous psychologists had allowed her to take the lead and scarcely paid any concern to the issues that preceded them. Perhaps that is what dulled the mare's faith in clinical help, and what forced her to look at this stallion in a new light as her mouth hung agape. "...I do not believe so, in truth." Octavia began. "Most of the other psychologists my mother employed were shooed away once my mood improved, or focused on my mother's concerns more than mine. I choose you over my teacher because part of my problems stem from an assignment he issued." Starry Night simply listened as his client spoke, twiddling a pen in his mouth as he scribbled a few notes until a short silence befell the pair and the professor seized the opportunity to speak up. "Would it help you more to start with those unaddressed issues from your childhood?" "Actually, I would like to focus on some specific things, today." Octavia began as she sat up straight in her chair and found herself struggling for words and where to begin. Her eyes were drawn back to the large file as an inkling of doubt dashed across her mind: Could I have more affecting me than I know? "Would you like me to put the file back in my cabinet?" Professor Starry Night spoke up as Octavia blinked, free from her thoughts. "No, it's fine. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to find a place to start." Octavia mumbled with a sigh, scarcely noticing the perplexed look on her psychologist's face as he scribbled another note down. "I suppose we start with the biggest: my mother was an overbearing pony who had a hoof in absolutely everything I did. Ponies see her through me, and it's bothering me a great deal because my entire purpose for coming to university is to carve my own path out of life." Professor Starry night nodded in understanding as he scribbled out notes, following along as Octavia continued. "Any time I do something typically regarded as uncouth, it's always 'oh, what would her mother think?' or 'does her mother knows she's doing this?' and I am sick of it! I want to break free but I don't know how." "Can you give me some examples of what you're doing when ponies compare you to your mother?" the professor asked. "Well, just this morning I was speaking to another classmate during a lecture, and two other students began whispering about what my mother would think if she saw me like this." Octavia explained. "And another was about three weeks ago at a recital, where it was entirely too cold, and I was shaking enough to impact my performance. Those in my string quartet muttered something about my mother being able to play better - my own string quartet! And my mother plays the piano, not the cello!" "Hmm." Starry Night mused as he finished writing. "And which seemed to hurt or make you aggravated more?" "The incident this morning, I believe." Octavia admitted. "Because it... Because I was on my own, so to speak. At least with the quartet, I was still under my mother's influence. But here, she has no control over anything I do or say." "Really?" the professor inquired, with a hint of surprise. "Were the members of your quartet friends, or more so coworkers?" "Hardly friends, though we did have a few activities outside of performances." Octavia explained. "We were acquaintances through passion, nothing more." "I see. Do you have anypony you consider a friend?" he continued. "I do, now. Or, at least, I think I do." Octavia began. "Her name is Vinyl Scratch, and we share psychology class, together. She is actually also one of my concerns, today." Octavia paused as she expected the earth pony to push forth a question, but received only a patient look before she pressed on. "Well, she is the first pony I can actually consider a friend in a long time as my mother made it a point to keep as many positive influences as she could out of my life." Octavia muttered before calming herself. Now was not the time to tear into her mother. "Although I'm not sure if she considers me a friend, especially since we've only known each other for less than a week." "And... Why do you think you two may not be friends?" the professor asked, pausing mid sentence to circle a previous note. "Well, aside from how little we know about each other in addition to the fact that we only met on Monday, I feel like I'm being a little too... Invasive?" Octavia sheepishly admitted. "She's struggling with herself and I'm doing my best to help her, but sometimes she snaps at me." "In what ways do you think you're being invasive?" Starry Night asked, leaning back in his chair as he set his pencil down. Octavia suddenly felt very insecure as her psychologists' calm eyes bored into hers, and she found herself full of guilt as she imagined what Vinyl would do if she found out that Octavia had spilled her secrets to a shrink, of all ponies. Vinyl is the kind of mare to keep things quiet and to herself when she can... Octavia thought. But, if her problems are affecting me, too, do I have a right to tell someone else? "Miss Philharmonica?" Starry Night quietly questioned as Octavia took a deep breath. "Please don't call me that. I... I think that's part of the reason ponies keep comparing me to my mother, because they know I'm a part of that family even if they've never seen me." Octavia concluded. "Understandable. What would you prefer I call you?" Starry Night asked, finding a small smile growing over the mare's gray snout. "Octavia Melody. I'm dropping the family name." "Well, Octavia Melody, I think you've found an answer to your first problem." Starry Night informed her, sharing the same beaming smile. "Discover and establish yourself!" "Vinyl!" Neon Lights beamed with that charming, suave demeanor as he looked up from his milkshake. His short, spikey gray mane remained motionless as his head turned to greet the unicorn, slick with generous amounts of styling gel, and his light blue-gray coat was short and clean as he pulled the mare into a friendly hug. "I'm really glad you came." Vinyl gave a somewhat forced smile at him as the pair took opposite seats in the booth, and the mare hurried to free her notebook from her pocket as a waiter approached. "What can I get for you two, today?" he inquired, a forced smile of his own adorning his face that spoke of years of customer service. As the two placed their orders, Vinyl found herself zoning out on Neon as he debated between potato fries and onion rings. It was strange being here like this, with Neon, just sitting down in a friendly place on friendly terms. It was true that they had stayed in touch after their breakup, but Vinyl stayed true to her nature and kept him at bay as she dealt with the stress of her breakup in the only way she knew how. She couldn't place the last time Neon had actually spoken to her, but she quickly crushed that fear as she scribbled her order for the waiter. The situation was even stranger to the mare as she found herself studying the unicorn while his lips moved in speech, but Vinyl sent no power to her ears. Her eyes locked onto the cool black shades that sat on his head, propped up by his horn. Vinyl had bought them on a whim on one of the couples' frequent outings, and now they were old and scraped in places, with the slightest wrapping of tape holding one of the arms to the rest of the frame. But she found some comfort in the fact that he was still wearing them after all these years, after everything that happened between them. And then, Vinyl chose the road most traveled as she began comparing herself throughout the years, how she had been a much more carefree and outgoing mare, how she took life as it came with great strides and a plan to push through resistance. And now, here she was, sitting in a busy little chain restaurant with a cheesy name, meeting with someone she never wanted to let go but being powerless to keep. Feelings of bitterness welled within Vinyl as she realized how close, yet how far, Neon was to her. "Vinyl? You in there?" Neon whispered as he held the same sweet, charming smile that had captivated her way back when he was a rising star. "Don't tell me you've fallen asleep on me behind those glasses." Vinyl snapped-to as she shook her head clear and scribbled out her words. Sorry, I zoned out again. What were you saying? Neon gave a small sigh before he took a sip from his milkshake. "I was saying that I've missed you, you know? And this: just sitting down and meeting with a pony I care about. Have you taken my advice for those focusing treatments?" No, sorry. I've been pretty busy. she wrote. ...I've missed you, too. "Yeah..." Neon whispered, staring into his glass as he idly swirled his straw. "Listen, Vinyl, I don't want this to be awkward. If you want me to go, I will. We can keep things between us to texts." No, it's not that! Vinyl hurriedly reassured him as her eyes met with his worried gaze. I'm just working through some things, right now. Got a lot to think about, is all. "Well, you know I won't press if you don't want me to, but you also know I give great advice." Neon reminded her as he flashed a toothy, friendly grin. "What's up?" Vinyl found no hesitation like she had with Octavia because she knew Neon, and she trusted him. There's this mare in my psychology class. She's my assigned friend for the semester, and we're supposed to open up to each other and learn all we can. So you can see the issue, yeah? Neon nodded thoughtfully as he read over Vinyl's words, resting his chin in his hoof as he thought aloud: "Have you tried dodging sensitive stuff? I know most of what you think's important is sensitive, but you have other stuff, right?" Vinyl shook her head, slowly, as Neon gave her a pained look. "Come on, Vinyl, you've gotta look at the positive. You and I both know it's there." the stallion softly pleaded. "I mean, you're going to school, you've got reliable work, you've got your own apartment." And I missed my second day, my gigs are netting less and less people, and my apartment is a pigsty. Vinyl scribbled. Every time I try to look at the positive I'm reminded of the negative. "That's why you're going to have to actively challenge that thinking. It's not going to be easy, and you're going to... relapse-" Neon said, wincing at the poor choice of words. "But nothing worth having in life comes easily. How many times have I told you that?" Vinyl didn't touch her pencil as she considered his words with her head hung low. She knew he was right and there was no fighting that, but she felt trapped by the compounded failures to the point of giving up. As though sensing her thoughts, Neon reached across the table and placed his hoof before her eyes to grab her attention, once more. "Listen, Vinyl. I know you." he began, in a comforting, caring whisper. "And I still care about you. I've seen you when you're up, and if I didn't think you had it in you to rebound, we wouldn't be sitting here. We all have rough times, some more rough than others, but the reason you and I lasted as long as we did was because you're a strong mare who doesn't let anything stop her from getting what she wants." I don't know what I want, anymore. she lazily wrote, before she pushed her notebook to the side in order to clear room for her arriving food. She didn't wait for Neon to speak as she levitated her sandwich to her mouth and graced it with a large, hungry bite while Neon stared at her with an amused smile. "You certainly wanted that sandwich." he stated, as-a-matter-of-factly, as he dug into his own onion rings. It's not the same. she wrote, shooting him a playful glare as they ate. "It may not be as big of a decision as you were hoping for, but sometimes the little things pile up into a great big thing." Neon explained through bites, Vinyl only finding his charm growing as he spoke with food in his mouth. It was a rugged, carefree kind of charm. "But we just found at least one thing you know you wanted. So, what's another?" Vinyl caved in to his persuasive ways and tilted her head to the side in thought as she took another bite. What do I want? she asked herself. I want Neon... No, don't go there. He's just a really good friend, now, and I don't want to lose that. I... Neon's ears perked as Vinyl righted her head and set her food down, grabbing her notebook with a determined furrow of her brows. I want a friend. "That's a much better start." Neon agreed as his eyes silently scanned the purple, reflective lens of Vinyl's glasses. She knew what he was searching for as she carefully removed her glasses and raised a hoof to shield her eyes from the light to show Neon exactly what he was searching for: that same spark that she had seen this morning. But now Neon saw it as constant as ever. "So what's keeping you from that?" Vinyl replaced her shades as a dim smile graced her lips. She was feeling oddly invigorated, like she was picking up where she left off all those years ago. But she couldn't shove the negative voice within her head that easily, and worries and reasoning came crashing down on her logic, flooding her mind with flawed fears over why she couldn't have friends, why she wasn't deserving of them. "Tell me about this mare." he started up without missing a beat. He truly knew Vinyl better than herself, and it was the comfort of that knowledge coupled with the fact that he still believed in her that kept her going; that whispered to her that she could change, despite the torrent of self doubt that washed over her in her life. "What's her name, first off?" Octavia. Some fancy pony from a lot of wealth who thinks she understands how the world works outside of her mansion on the hill. Vinyl wrote. "Mhm. Now tell me something nice about her, something you like." he pressed. She... She's really innocent. And I don't want to hurt her. Vinyl wrote. "That's good!" Neon reassured the mare as he leaned forward in his seat. "Don't focus on the bad, just the facts about her. Tell me some more things you like about her." She's kind, and she seems to really care about helping me. Vinyl continued. And she hates her mom, just like me. I really don't know her that well, so that's it. Neon simply nodded as Vinyl's pen fell silent at her notebook's side, letting the air of the busy restaurant fall over their table as the two munched in thought. "So what's keeping you from getting to know her?" Vinyl shot Neon an unseen glance that questioned if he had really just asked that, as though he'd gone stupid, before her pencil wiggled to life. I told you, I don't want to hurt her. "Yeah, you mentioned that, but what specifically are you afraid of? Walk me through the worst interaction you can think of." Neon instructed, sensing the worried look Vinyl was shooting him through her shades before reassuring her. "We're going to challenge your thinking and get you to plan positively." Vinyl shrugged her shoulders, slightly, but her trust in Neon was strong as she brought the pencil to the paper once more. She wants a real friendship, like a go-out-and-do-stuff thing, then she see what a piece of shit I am. She sees how dull and boring I am, then I take her to a party to liven myself up and she sees how bad I can get. Then I lose her, like you Neon's eyes softened as his smile faded, while Vinyl hastily scribbled out the last line of her fears in ashamed frustration. "You know, I've never stopped caring about you, Vinyl. I wouldn't be here if I didn't care." Neon whispered. "And you know that the reason I left was because you didn't come to me for help when I felt you should have." "But this mare, she doesn't know you. You're a complete stranger to her." Neon continued, not allowing Vinyl a moment to beat herself up. "Yet she still cares about you like you're her childhood friend, Vinyl. You and this mare have nothing to lose and everything to gain from a friendship, but now it's your turn to take those steps; she's already done her part for this act, and she's waiting on you to catch up." But I- Vinyl began to write, wincing back as Neon snatched her pencil from the paper as he stood with his forehooves on the table, looming towards her with a serious gaze in his eyes. "Don't let this mare get away from you, Vinyl. If you want her to be, this will be your shot to bettering yourself because you'll feel like you have to do better than you are now to keep her from running." Neon explained with a quiet, stern tone. "You've told me that you have no one in your life except me, but you still don't help yourself because I'm just barely within your reach that it's comfortable for you. So this mare is your lifeline. She's going to be your motivation to change, since I am obviously not." Vinyl stared at Neon with wide eyes, completely taken back by his sudden shift in demeanor as she found herself sinking into the back of her seat, before the unicorn stallion retreated to his side of the table and rolled Vinyl's pencil back. A pleading, powerful, pained look shot through Neon's eyes as they locked with Vinyl's, and things began to fall into perspective for the bewildered mare as Neon resumed eating. Neon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean- she began, before the unicorn shook his head. "I'm not upset with you, Vinyl." he promised. "I just need to you understand how much it hurts me to see you like this, day after day. I thought breaking up would force you to face reality, but it hasn't, so that's why I just said what needed to be said. You need to change yourself if you want to keep this mare out of harms way, because shoving everypony away isn't going to make you happy." The two sat in relative silence for a few minutes more, each munching their food until they parted ways with a friendly hug, and Vinyl sat alone in the booth. Her mind was swimming with thoughts, pouring over what Neon had said to her; the impact of his demeanor ringing as loud as his words, and the white unicorn mare found herself pulling her phone from her hoodie, but paused as she found a white lace with a pink bow tie wrapped around the device. Vinyl gave a deep, resolving swallow as she carefully pulled the lace from her phone and began drafting a message. Author's Note This chapter dedicated to CommanderCuddle, who couldn't find the fic they wanted :( Solutions Hey, Octavia. Want to hang out? From Vinyl Scratch, received at 6:22 P.M., yesterday Octavia stared at the text with a troubled gaze as the device sat before her hooves. Octavia had had a lot to think about after her appointment, yesterday, and never heard her phone go off as Vinyl's message came in. She stared at the words, reading them for a seventh time as her mind rumbled and turned. Do I? she thought, with concern. She's a nice mare, but I just have so much going on right now. And it certainly doesn't help that I think she's a part of my stress, be it intentional or not... Octavia sighed to herself as she lay her chin on the table and eyed the device with mock distaste. Royal Riff's call had come in just a few minutes after Vinyl's text, and he had asked the cellist to dinner - dinner! - after meeting only several hours before. She replayed the conversation in her head for the ninth time, tossing and turning it over in her mind as she analyzed it as though looking for a crack, a flaw, or any other imperfection. Good evening, Miss Philharmonica. he had said, with that damn confident but quiet tone that told Octavia that he was sporting a rugged smile on the other end. Please, simply call me Octavia. she interjected, politely. Of course. he had agreed, with a taste of humor on his tongue. I trust that you have had a pleasant day, thus far? I must say I have, and it was rather enlightening near the end. Wonderful. If I may be so daring, perhaps I could ensure you continue to have an excellent day by inviting you to dinner, tomorrow night? My treat, of course. Dinner? I- well, you- she had stammered, completely taken aback by the stallions' bold charm. But there was another layer to her shock that Octavia wasn't quite sure she had understood at the time: trepidation. ...That would be quite lovely. And now, after a full day had passed and with only an hour before she was to be picked up by the stallion, she still hadn't come to a decision about why she had agreed or why she was regretting it. She had spent the whole day waltzing through her classes while her mind was among the stars, and the well-graded paper from today's musical theory assignment told her that she was operating on a rather effective autopilot. But these high marks in stark contrast to the sharp decline of Octavia's academic prowess a few days earlier did nothing to cheer the gray mare up. This wasn't about doing better in school; this was about her and... ...Royal Riff? Octavia tasted the name in her mind as she pushed her eyebrows together in a troubled, thoughtful gaze. He was a well groomed stallion, in both a literal and figurative sense of the phrase, yet he maintained a hint of a rugged and bold charm that made him so alluring at times. He was a growing musician, as Octavia herself was, and his instrument of choice was a saxophone that he played with both power and grace - a truly stunning performance made only more impressive by the fact that he was also an earth pony like her, and had no magic with which to finely manipulate the keys. He was in a league that few earth ponies managed to find themselves in, and Octavia was right up there with him. He was well educated, well spoken, well meaning, and all the things that Octavia had been raised to match, admire, and expect. In short, he was exactly the type of stallion she could see herself spending the rest of her years with; exactly the type of stallion her mother would approve of... My mother. Octavia huffed as she spat the name in her mind. Of course her mother would approve of him - he was perfect! But her mother had been the puppet master in the sideshow that was her life for far too long, and Octavia was eager to find and exploit every way she could cut her strings. But how far am I willing to go? Octavia let her anger fade as she scrunched up her snout in thought. Was she willing to risk her career and personal life just to spite her mother? Would she throw away potentially the best relationship she could see just to get back at her mother? Octavia feared that her anger may be getting the best of her, and a little wooden earth pony mare with snipped strings lay motionless on a stage in her eyes every time she thought of turning away Royal Riff. No. Octavia thought, defiantly. This isn't about Royal Riff, this isn't about my mother. This is about me and... "...Vinyl?" Octavia's heart skipped a beat as she tasted the name on her tongue, and her stomach was greeted to a gentle fluttering feeling that was almost mistaken for sickness. The memory of a few nights ago waltzed through Octavia's mind like it was a welcomed guest, and the mare felt her cheeks grow hot as she imagined the gentle, warm breath of the unicorn seeping into the fur on her neck. Octavia reluctantly toyed with the idea in her mind, tumbling and tossing it over like a child playing haphazardly with a doll that would soon be broken from their mistreatment. Vinyl Scratch was the exact opposite of Royal Riff: where he was neat, she was messy. Where he was polite, she was curt. Where he was open and brash, she was closed and reserved. Where he was ruggedly charming, she was charmingly rugged. Where he was the comfortable upper class, she was the determined lower class. Where he was a stallion, she was... "A mare." Octavia whispered to herself as the scowling face of her mother glared at her from the depths of her mind. It was true: Vinyl was the epitome of everything her mother would disapprove of. Messy, rude, reclusive, lower class... A mare. Octavia groaned as she held her face in her hooves. A mare! A female! A member of the same sex, denying any chance for her mother to have grandfoals to gush over. The spiteful thought caused a smirk to appear on Octavia's face, but quickly reverted into a frown as her head shot up in realization. Could I possibly be that spiteful? she thought with a worried gaze. She replayed the memory of Vinyl pressed close to her that night, she let her heart thump soundly in her chest, and she felt her face grow hot as she let out the quietest of pants to catch a breath she hadn't realize she had been denying herself. She imagined running her hoof through that striking blue mane, trailing her snout against that white cheek, pressing her lips to hers and... There was nothing. There was no thump of her heart, no quiver in her stomach, and no heat on her face. Octavia didn't feel anything from that day dream. With a frustrated groan, her face found itself at home in her hooves, once more, as Octavia racked her mind for answers. It sickened her that she may simply be toying with the idea of Vinyl for nothing more than striking back at her mother, but it was clear there were no feelings for the unicorn. But what about Royal Riff? she thought as she let her mind wander around that possibility. A charming candlelit dinner, a walk in the park at night, a heartfelt confession of their feelings... a soft kiss on her lips... Her heart skipped a beat for a fraction of a second, but Octavia took note of it as she searched her body for more feelings only to thump her head into the table when she could find none. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know if she disliked Vinyl because she was a mare, because she was the opposite of everything she had been raised for, or because she didn't want to drag the poor unicorn into a feud between her mother and herself. She didn't know if she disliked Royal Riff because he was all of the things she was expected to adore and fawn over, because he was far too forward, or because it would entrap her in the very life she was fighting so hard to get way from. She just didn't know. But the one thing she did know was that it wouldn't be long until her date would arrive to fetch her, and Vinyl's poor neglected text had long gone unresponded to. Sorry, Vinyl, but I need a few days to myself. Have some things I need to figure out. From Octavia, received at 6:51 P.M. Vinyl regarded the text for a few moments as she worked to shovel another forkful of noodles into her mouth before her plastic utensil scraped loudly at the bottom of the empty styrofoam cup. She blinked in surprise at the noise; had she really eaten an entire cup of noodles while staring at the message? Vinyl gave a small grunt as she rolled off of the bed and deposited her trash into the now empty bin. It was nearly seven, an hour before Vinyl had to be at her next gig on the other side of the city, and she hadn't even showered yet. So what if she doesn't want to hang out? Vinyl shrugged to herself as she made her way into the cold bathroom. You have a gig in an hour, anyway. Vinyl's hoof expertly fumbled around the tiled wall of her shower in search of the shampoo as glorious hot water came pouring from the heavens and giving the unicorn a reason to release a sigh of relief. So what if it only took her a whole day to turn you down? Vinyl closed her eyes as she fought the negative thoughts in her head, barely hearing Neon's distant, echoing words of "challenge your thinking!" in her mind before they were overtaken with the voice Vinyl struggled against. I mean, it's not like she wants to stay as far away from you as possible after your stunt. Shut up. Vinyl fought back as she tilted her head towards the faucet and let the hot water wash away all of her stress as the liquid cascaded down her forehead and snout. She has a life of her own. She has things to think about other than me. Or maybe... the voice sneered as the unicorn began to pour and lather shampoo into her coat and mane. You're exactly what she's been thinking about. The poor little unicorn bitch she so foalishly tried to save. the voice taunted. But what makes you worth saving, Vinyl? Shut up, dad! she mentally screamed as a hoof pounded into the wall. Her eyes were clenched shut as shampoo rinsed itself off of her hide, the water doing wonders of masking her tears but the bathroom tiles betraying her sobs to her empty apartment. Her dad simply laughed in her head, an echo of a dead stallion fading into the recess of her mind. She tried to tell herself it was true, that she wasn't worth saving. But, deep down, she knew she wanted to be saved yet she wasn't strong enough to carry on all by her lonesome. She needed someone to offer a hoof out to her, as much as she hated it... And Octavia was that hoof. She's her own pony, Vinyl. She's got a life outside of being your friend. the unicorn tried telling herself as she shut the water off. She's a high class mare going to school, she probably has six classes every day and a flankload of homework to boot. ...And she's so far out of your league you can't even begin to- Vinyl scrunched up her nose in frustration and fought the negative thoughts back with all of her might. It was once in a blue moon that she won those fights, but it seemed like Princess Luna was being generous tonight. As she stepped back into the hallway with a pair of towels levitating themselves over every inch of the dripping unicorn, Vinyl found her eyes drawn down the hall towards the open door of her bedroom, where her phone sat beside a cute little pink bow tie interweaved with a white lace. She had been meaning to get it back to Octavia but simply hadn't found the time. Plus, it apparently wasn't that important to the mare or else she would have come by to at least ask Vinyl if she'd seen it, which allowed the unicorn ample time to wrap it around her hooves every so often when she found herself lost in her own mind, fighting a losing battle against that cursed stallion. As simple as it may have been, that little pink bow tie was Vinyl's flimsy little shield, but a shield nonetheless. And a shield that smelled a little good, she supposed... Before long, Vinyl found herself on her side atop the cold, inviting bed with the lace wrapped around her hoof once more. She gave a comforted smile and a shallow sniff as she closed her eyes; gently pressing pink to white as she sought to recapture her memories from that night: It had been only a few hours since her outburst, and the taste of alcohol was still rancid on her tongue as she blinked herself awake. Hardly a noise sounded from around the quiet downtown apartment, but Vinyl's ears flicked as she caught the gentle breathing of a gray mare curled up into herself on the other side of the bed. It was Octavia. I mean, it was obviously Octavia, but Vinyl was simply stunned that she was still here, and glanced at the clock in her phone to confirm that she had, in fact, been asleep for a few hours. And yet, here she lay after everything. Her anxiety attack at the cafĂ©, her glower from the doorway, her attempt to drown Octavia out with alcohol, and finally her outburst at her own insecurities. But the mare didn't run. The mare didn't yell at Vinyl, trying to guilt her into changing her self-destructive lifestyle. Instead, Octavia just... listened. And stayed. And went out of her way to be there for a mare she knew next to nothing about, because that's the kind of pony Octavia was proving herself to be: a pony who put others before herself. The realization hit Vinyl like a bag of bricks, none heavier than the bricks of shame and guilt that pelted her square in the jaw and forehead as she realized how selfish she was being by letting Octavia only get so far before slamming the metaphorical door in her face. It wasn't something she had planned, it was just something that... just happened. Octavia wasn't like any of the mares or stallions who had ever made it past her front door. She wasn't loud, she wasn't horny, she certainly wasn't drunk or tweaked in any capacity, and she didn't have a one track mind that spelled disaster if she didn't get her way. Octavia was quiet, caring, and shifted herself to the sidelines for Vinyl when even the unicorn herself didn't know it was what she needed. It reminded her of Neon, and Vinyl found it refreshing to simply be truly cared for. Shame she's probably into stallions. the voice chuckled. For once, it wasn't dripping in obvious malice. No, the voice let its words sink in for a moment, to let Vinyl mull over the thought that she was out of luck due to something she'd never have the power to change. Vinyl almost wished for a different, more direct attack. The voice fell silent once more, content with the state it was leaving the unicorn in as she turned her back to the sleeping mare and let her eyes drift across the neglected turntable shoved into the corner. It was her first turntable. Really, one of the first ever produced, and zebra advancements in technomagical hybrids had come so far in just five years that what once took up the space of a bed now easily fit into a suitcase. Still, there was something about the old school style that Vinyl couldn't help but admire. She carefully rolled out of bed and cast a wary glance back towards Octavia to make sure she hadn't woken the mare before her hoof found itself gliding against the smooth black metal. Vinyl smiled a soft little smile as she idly rubbed a hoof along the mat, imagining herself in the club where she belonged and spinning a silent track. It was a good time, some of her first gigs - probably the best days of her life up until she made the mistake of partying a little too hard, taking a step too far, and falling much too deep into a hole she thought she had closed years ago. Vinyl retracted her hoof and let her eyes wander further up the turntable, where a stack of notebooks sat slumped in the corner. Her art project. Her little rude hoof pointed in spite out at the world as she dared to capture what light she knew existed despite having lived through the dark. Weeks were spent sketching her subject just right, and a few more days were spent coloring and shading the life into those pages. She could have taken a picture for reference, but it somehow felt less sincere to her; less real. Too easy. And, as Neon had always told her: "nothing in life worth having comes easily." She swallowed the lump in her throat as her mind wandered back into the dark, casting doubts throughout the unicorn's mind as she feebly wondered what changed in her, but she already knew the answer: the pent up fears and resentment towards her family and her life were never vented, never resolved. She turned down the same path her father had to hide his pain and dug the very hole that his daughter would soon find herself trapped in as she shoved her friends away as a result of her pride. She suppressed a sigh as she closed the notebook she hadn't even realized she had been looking at, casting the unfinished sketch of a unicorn sitting awkwardly on a bench with a broad smile on her face into darkness once more. She was at peace, while Vinyl was struggling. Turning back towards the mare and quietly climbing back into her own bed, Vinyl's eyes traversed the soft gray landscape of the earth pony beside her and the peaceful smile on her lips as she slept; nothing but the gentle rise and fall of her side as she faced the unicorn betraying her life. Shame she's probably into stallions. Vinyl thought, echoing the words of the stallion in her mind as she closed her eyes. Shame I'd probably just hurt her even if she did like me... Still, as much as Vinyl feared letting another pony get too close to her, she couldn't help but smile a tiny, wanting smile as dreams of the two simply talking happily invaded her mind. Walking, dancing, studying... Kissing... Vinyl drifted off to sleep with a warm smile plastered on her face for once in a long time. And, with a start, she was back in the present day as her ringtone of "You Know" blared beside her head. It was the slow, bumpy ringtone that warmed her up for wild dancing, but she knew all too well that it was also the same song she applied to any of her work contacts. "Scratch, it's fifteen minutes until opening!" a gruff stallion warned, clearly on edge at the fact that his DJ wasn't even there. The unicorn's eyes shot open wide as she scrambled to her hooves and threw her belongings into her saddlebag in such a rush that she hadn't even realized she still had the little pink bow tie on a simple white lace still tied around her hoof as she bolted out the door. "Gardens of the Everfree?" Octavia began in bewilderment. "How in Equestria did you manage to get a reservation on such short notice?" Royal Riff gave a polite chuckle at his date's amazement as the stallion held the door open for her, and Octavia was nearly blown back by an overload of her senses. The lighting was polite and neutral, yet cast beams down on expertly placed pillars of marble that appeared to glow a celestial white as a result. The sound of the house musicians glided through the air as though it was flown by microscopic pegasi themselves, and Octavia felt a relaxing calm overtake her as she began to pick the telltale sounds of a violin and a piano in their midst. But neither of those senses could put a scratch past the smells that attacked Octavia's nostrils in such brevity that she almost mistook this establishment as that of a lower end food chain. Before she could voice her concern or immediate displeasure, however, the scents continued their assault and bombarded the poor gray mare with dashes of spice, hints of fruit, pinches of fresh greens, and tantalizingly tiny tastes of Tanzlbulb - an ingredient so rare that it was almost thought extinct for the last two centuries before an explorer reintroduced the world to its confusing but delicious scent of fried onions yet intoxicating taste of gooey fruit. Octavia felt the slightest bit of drool pooling in her mouth as it threatened to spill out over her lip, and she swallowed without haste as Royal Riff stepped through the door behind her. "An easy feat when your uncle is the owner of the entire franchise." he admitted, with a smile. "Your family owns Gardens of the Everfree?!" Octavia whispered in absolute shock; her eyes wider than they'd ever been in her life and causing her date to stifle another chuckle. "Indeed. I thought it would be nice to surprise you with that and it would seem I was right." he teased as he gave a cheery, respectful nod at the usher before the two were led to their table in the center of the restaurant, right before the stage where Octavia could confirm her guess of the violin and piano being played in a calm, slow harmony. "I... I am not sure what to say." Octavia admitted, sheepishly, as Royal Riff pulled her chair back to seat her. "Nothing needs to be said, Octavia." he replied with that confident smirk as he took his own seat across from her. "Simply enjoy tonight, that is my only request of you." Octavia gave a respectful smile at the stallion before her as a pair of menus were carefully placed on the table. But, while Royal Riff apparently already knew what he wanted for tonight, Octavia found her eyes wandering over the elegantly crafted letters that detailed everything from appetizers to desserts as flashes of a pencil wiggling in blue magic danced through her head. She knew what the stallion across from her was after; how could she not after such a bold act? Inviting her to dinner the day after they met, to a restaurant such as this and going so far as to flaunt his connections by revealing that his family owned the business? It was as obvious as that knowing grin on his face, and part of Octavia hated him for it. Deep down, she knew this was all an act, simply the motions of a game being played with her as the willing pawn - a dance done for show, rather than enjoyment. It was the very life that Octavia hated, the very life that trapped and strangled her all those years, the very life that prevented her from expressing herself and making friends who cared more about her as a pony than her family name. The very life her mother had groomed her into. But was it truly all that bad? Was sacrificing her personal life for greater success something to hate her mother over? After all, Octavia had never truly had a friendship or somepony who wasn't expected to care for her yet still did. There were no suitors there on their own will, always pushed by their parents at a ploy to integrate into a more wealthy family. There were no friends seeking to know the real Octavia, only those wishing for the prestige of knowing the daughter of the famous Mezzo Piano or seeing the inside of their rather quiet mansion. Likewise, there were no tears over a fight with a friend, no depressive slump from a coltfriend breaking up with her. Could she truly be so angry over missing something she didn't even know the feeling of? The only references she could build her grand dreams of friends and lovers off of were movies and books, always fiction and always designed to strike at the heart of the viewer in all the right ways. Was what Octavia wanted even attainable, even right to expect from another pony? Or were her expectations too high, and would she be making a foalish choice by turning Royal Riff down? "And for you, Miss Octavia?" the waitress spoke, quietly and respectful, with a polite smile on her face. "The Salade poĂȘlĂ©e numĂ©ro deux with a side of Tanzlbulb, please." she requested without missing a beat as she folded her menu closed and set it before the waitress, who departed with them after a respectful bow. "Refined and simple on one hoof, but adventurous and exciting on the side." Royal Riff stated, humor dripping in his voice. "You are an interesting mare, Octavia." "I simply see no point in restricting myself in life. There is so much to see and do, Riff." Octavia admitted with a playful tilt of her head. Royal Riff simply maintained his smile and gave a nod in agreement as the waitress disappeared around a corner and out of sight. "Do tell me, Octavia, what brings you to the University of Fillydelphia?" he asked as he took a careful sip of his water; eyes gently gliding over Octavia's' sharp purple. "Establishing myself as my own mare and the like. Seeking to understand how the world works." Octavia replied, as she matched the stallion's gaze. "Music has always been my passion, ever since I was a little filly, but there is still so much to learn and so much to experiment with, so it is only fitting that I continue my studies into my instrument in my musical theory class." "How humble of you!" Royal Riff smiled a genuine smile as he set his glass down. "I must say, I knew you were a talented musician, but it is unfortunately all too common to see those aspiring ponies foalishly feel as though they have learned everything there is about their instrument after only a few short years." "Ah, so you're familiar with my family, then." Octavia pressed, taking a shallow breath to suppress her distaste. "Indeed but, that is not what I meant as I know you wish to distance yourself from them. Forgive me for the comment, I simply wished to highlight your talents." Royal Riff apologized, and Octavia gave a sudden blink as she realized where her mind was going. Stupid, stupid pony! she berated herself, slightly ashamed for how she had tried to railroad the conversation into negativity. This was supposed to be a happy night! "I'm sorry." Octavia admitted, ignoring the slight shock that came from the stallion's eyes as she began. "The mention of my family is simply... touchy, right now." Is he really shocked that I apologized? Octavia wondered, briefly, before Riff cleared his throat and recomposed himself. "The blame is all mine, Octavia." he insisted, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. "What else brings you to such an esteemed university?" "Musical theater has always been something that has captivated me and, had I not grown up with a cello in my hooves, part of me wonders if I would have made a name for myself in acting." Octavia laughed in an effort to shake herself of negativity. "There is also psychology, business management, and, of course, classical literature." "I am all too aware of the feeling of being forced into something you're not." Royal Riff offered with a sad nod. "Though I love my saxophone, I can always find the time to put a pencil to paper and write a short story. Excellent ones, if I dare say." "Really? And what does a stallion who has it all write about?" Octavia smiled warmly as she cocked her head. "Oh, well, foalish things of course." he chuckled, nervously, as he cast a glance towards the mare in hopes that she would simply let the topic be. When Octavia held her polite gaze and comforting smile, the stallion relented. "Things like romance, true love and all that." "Why do you think true love is a foalish thing to write about?" Octavia asked, neutrally. "I, for one, simply adored any romance novel I could get my hooves on when I was younger. I still enjoy them, from time to time, but my tastes have certainly become more... realistic." "I do not think any love is a foalish thing to write about." he explained, continuing that nervous chuckle as he straightened himself in his seat. "It is simply... Complicated, Octavia." Octavia gave a respectful nod of her head, a silent agreement not to press the issue any further, and the pair sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes with the stallion casting his eyes everywhere except the mare before him until their food arrived. "This is quite lovely." Octavia piped up as she deeply inhaled the enticing scent of her meal; slightly seared tomatoes topped olive-oil-kissed greens while sprinkles of shredded egg whites and Bleu de Gex litered the edges. A dollop of FĂĄncee dressing lazily dripped off of a leaf and onto another as Octavia opened her eyes once more to see Royal Riff avoiding her gaze but struggling to regain his confident smile. "Are you alright, Riff?" she asked, carefully, as she maneuvered her hoof around the fork to begin her meal. When her date made no response, or any indication that he had even heard her, she reached a hoof out towards his but he shied away before clearing his throat. His smile returned once more, but something hidden behind his eyes told Octavia that he was pushing back a private thought; setting up an image he was expected to maintain. She had seen the look all to many times before in far too many ponies, but present company forced her to adopt a similar nature as the pair simply ate in respectful silence. She would make it a point to try and help him through his problem in a quieter environment. "Fillies and colts, I hope you're all ready to die-" the robotic voice with a custom buzz-fade at the end of each word calmly threatened. "Because I'm going to kill everypony!" Before fans who knew what was coming could cheer, the robotic voice that DJ-Pon3 used to address her crowd faded as a steady beat began to grow; its bass blown over the lyrics as not to kill the bumping mood as ponies began to bounce in time with the beat. With the crowd thoroughly losing itself in the music, DJ-Pon3 let out a wide grin as she bobbed her head and focused her eyes into the swarming sea of ponies, breaking concentration only for a few moments here and there to scratch a disk or produce another foreign sound that added her own personal taste to the music. These were her ponies. The friends and family she never had, those ponies who didn't care who she was when they were too drunk to see straight, or too tweaked to even notice her. On stage, she was an idol to them. A few hours in, however, and she set the track on a loop and stepped down from her podium to become a ghost within the ocean of bouncing flesh and fur; masquerading behind technicolor lights. "Hey there, sexy." a jet black stallion with a white mane shouted with a flirty tone over the music as he bounced his way closer to Vinyl. She couldn't hear him at all, of course, through the music nor her headset that protected her ears. But she could read lips like no one's business and, as the stallion stood before her, he spoke once more. "You're DJ-Pon3, right? The mare on stage?" Vinyl rolled her eyes, unseen behind her shades that expertly deflected glancing beams of green and blue, but nodded her head nonetheless. "Stormy Skies, nice to meet you." he announced, flaring his previously unseen wings in an attempt to show off, but the effect was lost on the mare occupied with losing herself to the music. "I hear you've got quite a reputation around these parts." Vinyl tilted her head, quizzically, with skepticism in her hidden eyes. "Oh, just the usual. You're a pretty big party mare; struggling DJ just looking for a good time." the stallion continued. "Doesn't matter who helps you feel good or, sometimes, what makes you feel good if you catch my drift?" Vinyl began to dance a little slower as she began to study the stallion as best as she could in the erratic lighting. He was slightly taller than her, and his wingspan was definitely impressive; no doubt that he was a frequent strenuous flier rather than just a simple pegasus. Sky guard, maybe? Vinyl idly thought to herself. "I was just wondering if you'd like to have a little more fun than usual, tonight." he continued, turning his head into a wing and shifting some feathers to the side to reveal little plastic bags that Vinyl was all too familiar with. "Five bits, if you're interested." Vinyl's eyes narrowed for many reasons, one of which was that acid was incredibly cheap in these parts, and she was well known enough in giving back to that community that it was rare when somepony tried to charge her for a trip. Another reason was because the stallion wasn't dancing as wildly as the others - in fact, Vinyl realized he was simply bobbing back and forth, and often fell out of beat for a few bumps. A cop? she asked herself. He certainly had the body for it and, now that Vinyl was looking more closely, it was hard to imagine the stallion doing anything except strenuous patrols and the occasional chase. And maybe a couple of romps here and there... Vinyl weighed the situation in her mind as her track hit the halfway point. If he was a cop, and she got busted, it'd be a year at most and a hefty fine that would dig into savings she no longer had. If he wasn't a cop, she got an even better night. Simple solution, put him to the test. Vinyl concluded as she stopped dancing and flicked her head to the side, beckoning the stallion to follow her as she bumped hooves with a bouncer who guarded a door to the private rooms in the back. And maybe I get a better night, anyway. "So, given your stature, I figure you're going to want more than one. I can do a discount on a bulk order, and drop it down to-" the stallion began after the door had been closed behind him, but the words never left his mouth as Vinyl firmly planted her lips against his and parted the pair to snake her tongue into the stallion's maw. He stumbled back a bit, but didn't break the kiss, and soon found himself playing with the unicorn's tongue as he bent his head down to kiss the smaller mare. It lasted less than half a minute before the kiss snapped as Vinyl pulled back, leaving a trail of saliva connecting the two for only a few centimeters before it, too, broke. The stallion didn't have a chance to catch his breath as Vinyl floated a notebook before his eyes: Ten minutes until the loop runs out. Stormy Skies cracked a shit eating grin as the notebook set itself on a table to reveal Vinyl Scratch in all her natural glory: her shades were off, revealing her gentle magenta eyes that silently thanked Celestia that these rooms were purposefully dimmed, and her headset flopped onto the floor with a practiced flick of her head. Her hind hooves were spread while her forehooves were pressed together tightly against her chest as she lay with her back pressed into the couch - beckoning the stallion to prove he wasn't a cop. Vinyl's fears began to resolve themselves as the stallion trotted towards her perhaps a little too eagerly, before his snout slowly brushed against hers as he made a play for her neck and earned himself a sharp gasp from the unicorn as he nipped at her. Vinyl wished her worries could fade completely so that she could simply enjoy the refreshing experience, but foreplay didn't prove anything to her; if she wanted to figure this stallion out, they'd need to go the distance, and Vinyl found herself panting into his ear as she pulled his head closer and grinded herself into the stallions crotch. It was already throbbing for her as she slowly humped her marehood against his penis, hiding her irritated scrunch as she found skin catching against each other; telling Vinyl that she wasn't as wet as she thought she was. Stupid body, work with me here! Vinyl commanded as the stallion pulled his head back a bit to address the panting mare below him. "Condoms?" he asked, simply, and Vinyl mentally slapped herself upside the head before her magic reached for a bundle stuffed into the cupholders of the couch. What's with me, tonight? Vinyl worried as she watched the stallion tear open a package. I'm getting way too sloppy; could have fucked up big time if it weren't for him... As the stallion rolled the condom over his eager meat, Vinyl seemed to stare right through him as she sighed to herself. She wasn't normally this reckless nor did it typically take more than a rough bite to excite her, yet here she was nearly bone dry with a stallion just ripe for the picking and she could think of a hundred other places she'd rather be. This was unlike her and, in the few moments it would take the stallion to finish putting on the condom, Vinyl sifted through her feelings for some kind of answer. He was a stallion, she was a mare. He offered her drugs, she needed to make sure he wasn't a cop. Cops wouldn't fuck her, and this was a test Vinyl had happily preformed dozens of times before. She was no stranger to love making; there was nothing more than an agreement between two ponies seeking the same thing: a simple bout of pleasure to distract themselves from their pain. It was mutual, and Vinyl felt she needed a soft reset right now more than anything. Then why can't I get into this? she wondered as she studied the stallion once more. He was a pegasus, and a good looking one at that. Simple colors, but the contrast appealed to her artistic eyes, and his muscles were toned no doubt due to thousands of flight hours. He was attractive, undoubtedly, and Vinyl could easily imagine spending a night with him. Then why don't I want to fuck him? "Sorry about the wait. Now, where were we?" the stallion confidently teased as he approached once more; solid meat swinging hypnotically between his hind legs before he bumped his nose against the white of Vinyl's cheek and planted a gentle kiss. Vinyl resigned herself to the night and the stallion pressed against her, electing to figure out her own feelings later as she tried her best to simply enjoy the feeling of hooves carefully tracing every inch of her white fur. Maybe when he actually starts fucking me I can get into it. Before long, the stallion switched gears as he made a dash at Vinyl's neck once more while settling himself on top of her, eliciting a satisfying moan from the mare as teeth dug into fur and flesh. Vinyl found herself panting once more as she gripped his head, and gave a cute little shiver in anticipation as the head of his horsecock patiently pulsed against the lips of her vagina. He was teasing her, the bastard! But, before Vinyl could give an annoyed grunt that would have demanded him to continue, her throat erupted into a cracked gasp as he entered her. Vinyl's heart pounded in her chest as she clung to his face, letting him roughly nip at her neck again and again as he slowly pushed himself deeper inside the unicorn as adorable twitches and sharp moans erupted from her snout every few centimeters. And just as soon as he had pushed himself as far as he could go and leaving Vinyl a softly panting mess, he began to slide out at a faster pace. In, then out, in and out, this is what Vinyl had been waiting for! As the stallion's speed increased, so too did her heart beat while she lay pinned underneath the thrusting hunk of a flier, and her hooves kneaded and rubbed against every inch that she could reach. This is what vinyl was missing, this is what she had needed to calm her nerves and cool her senses, this!... Was doing nothing except spiking her heart rate. Vinyl squinted and suppressed an irritated groan that would have been lost in the stallion's grunts regardless as the two continued for a few minutes more, Vinyl counting down the seconds as best as she could while doing her best to at least appear interested as she strained to hear the music beyond the nearly soundproof walls of the private room; the music was her clock, a custom track she had spun many times before. She knew the exact second the first and the last bass dropped. Two minutes before the song would end, the stallion let out a pleased cry as he slammed himself against the DJ, and Vinyl herself even stifled a sharp moan as his medial ring slipped past her lips. He had came, no doubt, but the condom protecting her from another life-shattering mistake prevented her from feeling much of the warmth that was supposed to follow a passionate act. Stormy Skies panted gently as he lifted his black fur from her white and, with a smirk, pulled himself free. "Was it good for you?" Vinyl Scratch smiled and nodded her head in a tired lie. She hadn't even came, and the most infuriating part was that she didn't know why. Her mind had wandered to every subject except the one right in front of her, and it was so unlike her that the unicorn felt a little sick as the stallion pulled off the filled condom and tossed it into the tiny corner trashcan. "You know, that's a really cute bow tie." Stormy Skies noted as he tilted his head towards Vinyl's hoof, where the accessory in question remained firmly tied. "Would have been kinky if you wore it around your neck so I could have pulled it off. But, anyways, thanks for that. Ready to make a deal?" Vinyl's eyes darted towards her hoof as the pegasus brought attention to Octavia's bow tie, and the DJ scarcely heard a word the stallion uttered after her eyes had fixated themselves on that cute combination of pink and white. Vinyl felt as though she would throw up as she scanned the hoof, and a feeling of nausea and guilt washed over her before she thrust her spare hoof towards the door, not even bothering to look at the jet black pegasus. "Uh, is that a no?" he asked, with an inquisitive tilt of his head. The only answer was a more firm jab of her hoof, and the stallion snorted as he rolled his eyes on the way out; the moment of sound that poured into the room as the door opened told Vinyl she had less than thirty seconds before she needed to be back on stage. Is she why I couldn't get off? Vinyl thought with a scowl as she stood and did her best to hurriedly clean herself. Why the fuck is she stuck in my head? I barely even know her, for Celestia's sake! Vinyl growled to herself as she threw her glasses and headset back on before storming towards the door. I have a show to run. she told herself. I don't have time for a commitment. It's not safe for her if... I like her... Vinyl nearly stopped in her tracks as she picked up after the pause in her thought, and an uneasy feeling fluttered itself throughout the mare's stomach. Vinyl was saved from the terror of thinking as the end of the song rang out, and the door slammed shut as DJ-Pon3 returned to work. She would make it a point to talk to Neon about her thoughts. Author's Note Sorry for the lateness of this chapter, I'm just a piece of shit ayyy đ Prologue"Octavia," her mother began, carefully weighing her next words as her daughter sat across from her while unicorn butlers elegantly brought out the next course of their meal. "Why in Equestria would you want to attend a public University when you know very well that I could simply hire the most educated private tutors to teach you whatever you wanted to know?" "Mother," Octavia replied, softly, as she let the gentle insistence on her tongue wiggle its way into her mother's mind. "That is precisely the issue. If I am to be my own mare, I must stand on my own and in my own light; I cannot rely on your finances, forever, and am eager to cease living in your shadow." "There is nothing wrong with your mother taking care of you, sweet Octavia." her mother insisted as she waved a unicorn offering a fine wine away. "It is my duty as a parent, after all. What kind of mother would I be if I forced you out on your own before you were ready?" "Once again, you are completely oblivious to my point! I am ready! I am twenty years old, mother; other ponies have started creating their own paths, leading their own lives. You lean over me in everything I do." Octavia explained, respectfully pleading with her mother as to not cause a scene, despite being in her own home. "I want ponies to stop seeing you when they look at me." Mezzo Piano furrowed her brow as her head turned down, ever so slightly, to signify that her mother was deeply considering her daughters' words. "But what would you study?" she asked, not as a challenge, but to genuinely understand the inner machinations of Octavia's mind, as she had regrettably proven how she couldn't know everything about her daughter. Octavia's breath caught in her throat as her heart thumped in her chest. I didn't think I'd get this far! she thought, as she frantically searched her mind and sifted through what she actually enjoyed learning about, rather than what her mother had urged her to pursue. "Oh, um... classical music, of course; perhaps I can glean a new perspective on the art from those who have come into it from different paths." Mezzo simply stared at her daughter, as Octavia's mind racked itself. You vacuous mare! Octavia cursed herself. That was entirely too obvious! Think of things to show her you are serious about surviving on your own! "...And musical theater, psychology, and business management. If I am going to be managing my own affairs, I must have the proper skill set with which to do so." Octavia stated, intelligently. Mezzo quietly sighed as she considered the situation, only passively acknowledging that she had been too engrossed in the conversation to have touched her food. Now, it was too late. "I suppose there is no talking you out of this?" Octavia politely shook her head as she held an outward smile; a symbol of her resolve. Internally, however, the mare was hurling every polite obscenity at herself for daring to be so bold with her mother - it was unbecoming! Before Octavia could show outward signs of her fears, an understanding smile crept onto her mothers face as she gave a short nod. "You have grown into a lovely mare, Octavia. It fills me with great pride, to see that you stand so firmly for what you want. Very well, you have my permission, although I believe you have proven you no longer need it. Go and do something with your life." Elsewhere, in a musty, unkempt apartment, a white unicorn mare with an electric blue mane coughed and sputtered after vomiting more souvenirs from last nights' party into the toilet of her small bathroom. She spasmed, slightly, after the fact, and gingerly held her place on the floor, overlooking the only thing that had kept her apartment from becoming even more filthy. After a few moments, and with a quiet sigh of relief, the mare reached up and pulled down on the small lever, making the contents of last night's mistake the problem of someone else before struggling to her hooves and stumbling into the hallway; sliding against the cool wall for support as she made her way back to her room. The unicorn opened her door with a flash of her magic, careful to close her eyes lest she induce a headache, before she quickly stumbled to the bed and collapsed within the cool, crisp sheets with a pleased sigh. Taking a moment for herself to bath in the refreshing cold that flooded her room, the unicorn was brought back to her senses as her phone buzzed to life from atop her nightstand. With a groan, she levitated the device in her magic and floated it over to her face as she rolled onto her back to discover who had disturbed her peace. Did you make it home, Vinyl? From Neon Lights, received at 3:36 P.M. Fucking idiot. she cursed herself, as she unlocked her phone and sent a reply. Yeah. Thanks for checking up on me. Sent at 3:37 P.M. She tossed the phone to her side as she blankly stared up in thought, struggling to remember the events of last night. She remembered going to yet another party and getting lost in the bounce and haze of electronic music, letting her hooves take control as she let herself go. She remembered another party-goer challenging her to a drinking contest. Big mistake. Vinyl thought, rather bitterly despite the smirk on her face. For as popular as I am, ponies don't seem to listen to the rumors that I can drink more than any of them. She shifted her position to get comfortable, once more, as she swam through her memories. She remembered winning the contest, the stallion passed out not long after the eighth round. She went back to dancing, intentionally bumping other party-goers to clear herself a space as the music took her completely. She remembered someone edging their dance closer to her, practically yelling above the crowd just to be heard through Vinyl's protective headset and the music. She remembered grinning as she read the words from the mares' lips, nodding. The next moment, Vinyl was stepping back onto the dance floor as she let the papery feeling settle on her tongue. Before long, the lights blurred and blended, and the music destroyed her body and rebuilt it with each beat, granting her life and taking it away. Vinyl furrowed her brow as she struggled to remember anything after that. Had she drank more? Had she done something with somepony? How did she get home? She lifted her phone to her face, once more, and tapped the screen with her magic. What happened, last night? Sent at 4:02 P.M. I don't know, I had a gig on the other side of town. Since you don't remember, I'm going to assume that you had another acid trip before drinking yourself into a coma. From Neon Lights, received at 4:04 P.M. Vinyl huffed in frustration. This had become a regular occurrence for her, long before she and Neon Lights broke up; it was almost a ritual. Every time there was a lapse in her schedule, something that gave her more than a day of breathing room, she filled it with alcohol and drugs. Pausing to calm herself down, Vinyl turned her head to the side to look towards the far end of her room. Shoved into the corner, atop an old turntable that she had grown too attached to despite it no longer working, sat a stack of notebooks. Vinyl stared at them, longingly, as she mentally redrew each drawing contained within those pages; a flower beginning to blossom in the park, an elderly couple sharing a morning at the bus stop, a taxi cart idly waiting on the side of the street. Vinyl had drawn the heart of Fillydelphia in those notebooks, each little glimpse painstakingly sketched and colored as she sat, watching her piece for hours. Vinyl closed her eyes in an effort to stave off a wave of depression as she remembered what it was like, back then, when she was an aspiring musician who wasn't overtaken with stress and failure. What happened to us? Sent at 4:13 P.M. You turned to drugs for help more than you turned to your friends. Honestly, Vinyl, how long are you going to do this to yourself? Get out of your apartment and get out of your head. Find something that occupies the time you have in between your gigs so you stop destroying yourself. Go to school, do something with your life. From Neon Lights, received at 4:19 P.M. First Day of School, part oneOctavia could barely contain her glee as she continued walking, her excitement being hidden by years of well-executed prim as she didn't allow herself even the slightest bounce in her step, or the minuscule crack of a smile. This is it! she thought, her mind having no layers with which to hide themselves. This is what it is like to live on my own, to be my own mare and in charge of my own life! This is so exciting, almost overwhelming! With great satisfaction, Octavia replayed the events of her first day once more, allowing herself to be swept up in her pride and excitement. Six in the morning, right on the mark, Octavia shot out of bed and began her routine: shower, brush teeth, eat breakfast, check the calendar for special and unplanned events. These actions had been ingrained within Octavia's memory for years as she disciplined herself as rigidly as she could in the hopes of pleasing her mother and those who surrounded her. Today, however, Octavia found no qualms in changing her routine, ever so slightly, with one exciting addition: double-check school bags. Books had been purchased in advance, finding no issue with money and musing that she may even prefer to keep these books after the semester, to reflect on and turn to if she ever found herself lost. Each thick square found a new home, nestled into the appropriately sized bag which appeared befitting for rather respectful mare: Classical Music Theory, its pages stuffed with Octavia's personal notes and sheet music, sat at the forefront of her left saddlebag, right up against her side. In the other bag, in an attempt to balance the weight and avoid a strain on her first day, Flourishing Economics and How to Apply Them sat nestled against her right flank. It was a large book that Octavia had found only slightly bothersome when it came time to fitting it within her bags. Returning to her left, almost posing as sisters, Acting for Musical Theater hugged the edge of her bag as it fought for the same space alongside a pouch of pencils and its sharpener. Finally, on her right, a yellow book simply titled Exploring Psychology found its home nestled in between the business book and a blank notebook. Octavia's life may have been rigid and strict, with clearly defined places for clearly defined things, but she brushed any concerns regarding her upbringing to the side as she took pride in the fact that this was her life, now. She was making her own decisions, choosing her own path, and discovering herself as she strode confidently out from beneath her mother's looming, overprotective shadow. Undoubtedly, Mezzo would call her daughter as soon as she was sure Octavia would be home in her singles dorm, but Octavia paid the worry no mind as she remained blissfully drunk in her own happiness, for once in her life. As she rounded the corner and came face-to-face with the humble looking wooden door, she breathed a calming breath to reset her mind on the right track before she pulled on the handle and proceeded into her last class of the day: Psychology. Vinyl stifled a yawn as she meandered down the crowded hallways of the Fillydelphia University, her powerful headphones blocking out almost all sound as a surprisingly quiet, bumpy tune rang into her head. Pausing a moment to scratch her nose and push her tinted glasses back up her nose, she sighed and shifted her weight to readjust the slumped saddlebag at her side. It was an older bag with a small hole in one of the bottom corners, and faded tan cloth gave it a rugged look while the rusted shoulder clasp told anyone who inspected it that Vinyl had never even attempted to adjust it for years as it hang rather low on the unicorn, who bobbed her head through the hallways with a frown on her face. This was a waste of time. she thought, bitterly. She recalled her first class, creative writing, and tasted bile on her tongue as she grew disappointed with how incredibly boring it had turned out to be, especially as she was forced to follow other, lame prompts rather than being able to write what her heart whispered. And a waste of money. she continued, not bothering to pause as she resorted to magic to straighten her shifting bag. She clenched her jaw and glared, unseen behind her glasses, as she remembered entering her modern musical theory class late and glowering at the ponies in her class whose faces brightened up and cheered as they recognized the signature purple shades and electric blue mane. Despite the money it brought in, Vinyl grew rather distasteful of her fame, especially in recent years, as it caused her a great deal of stress a she fought to stay above the pressure to perform, to always be on top of the hit singles charts. It caused her strife in her personal life, as she found many ponies she had once considered friends to only be interested in her for her newfound fame. With a pang of regret, her mind instantly rushed towards Neon Lights; he seemed to be the only one in her life who actually saw Vinyl for Vinyl, and his own venture into the business helped her bond with him as the two became closer and closer. They had flings, on and off, until Neon finally pressed for a more serious relationship. Of course, Vinyl jumped at the chance to share herself with someone who actually cared, but circumstances proved fatal to their relationship as Vinyl fought to compete with a rising star who ended up surpassing her. She easily fell back into a slump she had worked so hard to climb out of, turning back to alcohol and her party drugs as she let fears of constant failure and inadequacy plague her mind. In the end, she and Neon Lights split on friendly terms, and the two had remained close, but Vinyl doubted ever truly getting back together with him, let alone allowing someone else into her life. Can't stand breaking another stallion's heart because I'm too weak to change. she thought, bitterly. She pulled herself from her dead end thoughts and tried to focus on the present, instead of the past, as she used her magic to pull open the door to her final class: Psychology. "Good evening, class, and welcome to psychology eleven-oh-one." the pegasus stallion began, taking a commanding stance at the front of the room. "My name is Professor Steel-Shield, and I have to wonder how many of you really know what you're getting into, this semester." Military. Vinyl thought, as she studied the gray stallion from the back of the room. He had a large frame yet slender wings, and his buzzcut betrayed his age and background. With no hair to hide behind as Vinyl had, she could clearly see his steely-blue eyes as they scanned the classroom, like a dog determining the best cat to attack. "As opposed to some of the rest of your teachers, and believe me I've met them, I can assure you that this will not be a laid back class. Everything we do in this room has a painstakingly crafted purpose. There will be no idling, no sitting on your flanks twiddling your hooves, no excuse for not doing the work, and certainly no excuse for not asking questions." the stallion instructed. "You are here to learn, and I have been hired to teach you. Make no mistake; when you pass this class, and Celestia help me I will make you pass this class, you will look back on this day and say 'thank you, Professor Steel-Shield.' You will hate me, but you will learn to love me." Prick. Vinyl thought as the stallion paused in his speech. They let this guy teach? What, could he get no better job from the VA? Almost as if homing in on her sass and disrespect, the pegasus turned his stern eyes towards the white unicorn in the back row. "Miss Scratch, please remove your glasses." Vinyl blinked, as if she had been asleep, at the stallion's request. I can't take these off, the lights will kill me. she thought, as she pulled out her notebook and began scribbling a message to the teacher. "Miss Scratch." the stallion commanded, authoritatively, as he stormed to the back of the class to stand beside the mare. "Remove your glasses or I will remove you from my class. Eye contact is a matter of respect, and I will not stand for disrespect in this room." Vinyl floated the paper up to the professor, whose brow furrowed as he paused to read. "Unless you have a doctors note, I will still insist that you remove your glasses, as they are clearly not prescription. Additionally, I will not pass notes back and forth between us as though we are foals; you will speak to me like an adult or I will treat you like a child." Fucking prick. Vinyl thought, to herself, as she removed her glasses and winced at the blinding light that assaulted her strikingly magenta eyes. A pained gasp quietly escaped her lips as she turned her head downwards and quickly scribbled another short note to her teacher and floated it in his face before he had a chance to address this disrespect. The stallion paused for a moment to read the note, before his body betrayed an ever-so-slight startle of realization. "My mistake, Miss Scratch; that information was not in your student file. In light of this news, however, I am going to ask you to take a seat in the front of the class as it will allow me to better teach you, should you have any questions." the pegasus gave a short, apologetic nod, before walking back to the front of the class. Vinyl realized, with a sickened feeling in her stomach and a glare, that students were staring back at her as a result of the scene she had caused. Wincing through a newly formed headache, the unicorn stood up from her seat and silently stalked her way to the front of the room, where she took a seat beside a white earth pony mare with a short, blonde mane. Seemingly satisfied in being control of his own classroom, once more, Professor Steel-Shield continued with his opening address as Vinyl tuned him out. How the hell did I let Neon talk me into going to school? Vinyl moped. My classes are boring, my teachers are pricks, and it's costing me most of my savings just to come here to get even more pissed off. What I wouldn't give for some tequila right now... Her eyes already mostly closed for protection from the blinding fluorescence of the classroom lights, Vinyl found it easy just to close them a bit more as she found herself slipping back into her own mind at the thought of tequila. Hundreds of parties flashed through the unicorn's mind, thousands of bottles downed, millions of beats swayed to, hours of socialization among those who were only here to have a good time and couldn't walk straight enough to see that it was the DJ-Pon3 who was hanging out with them. Parties were one of the few things that helped Vinyl cope, and she felt at home in them. They were her element, where she was in charge of nearly every aspect. Vinyl found herself struggling to fight off the depressing realizations that, outside of those parties, she felt like nothing. Outside of destroying herself, she couldn't truly find a reason or a way to live, except for parties. Someone deeply cleared their throat just in front of her, and Vinyl cautiously opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the piercing gaze of a retired drill sergeant. "Miss Scratch, why did you sign up for my class?" To fix myself. Vinyl thought, for a split second, before scribbling a different answer on her paper. "You came to my class to learn how to be a better pony? Absolutely commendable, Miss Scratch." the pony announced, sarcastically. "You are truly setting a fantastic example of bettering yourself. Everypony, take notes on Miss Scratch: she comes to this class to be a better pony, yet here she is sleeping through my lecture on the very first day. Truly, an example to live up to. Move out of the way, Celestia, this is the pony who clearly knows what she wants out of life and isn't afraid to do what she must to get it." Octavia kept her composure as the professor verbally tore into the silent unicorn, who simply matched the intensity of his speech with the glare in her eyes, before he stepped back to the front of the class. She felt bad for the mare, who clearly appeared to have some condition, but ultimately decided that she had only brought the berating upon herself. "As I was saying," the stallion continued. "the final grade for this class will be determined by two scores: that of your final exam, and that of the class project. You will not pass unless you score a passing grade on your final, and at least a seventy-five percent on this class project." Professor Steel-Shield turned to give the white mare an accusative stare as he finished his sentence, before turning back to the class. "For those of you who missed, it, allow me to reiterate: your class project will be a semester-spanning attempt designed to force you to look at the life of another, and to understand how they got where they are, through their failings and victories. You all will be assigned a partner with whom you will meet and talk with every day that your schedule allows. You will get to know this pony, you will know their name, their favorite color, where their mother was born, what side of the bed they prefer to sleep on. This will be your unofficial best friend for the school year and, if you play your cards right, perhaps even the best friend you'll ever end up meeting." Octavia's eyes widened as her body betrayed her feelings of being impressed by the depths and purpose of this project, understanding the exact purpose for such an undertaking, given the nature of this class. She found herself admiring the intelligence of her teacher before he spoke up, once more. "Miss Scratch and Miss Philharmonica." Professor Steel-Shield announced. "Given both of your fame and conflicting personalities, you two are the first pair of partners." "E-Excuse me?" Octavia stuttered, her appearance of a calm and collected, sophisticated mare completely shattered in that moment as she fearfully turned her head to look at the white unicorn mare with a furrowed brow, who was eyeing the professor as though he was out to get her. "With all due respect, Professor Steel-Shield, may I request a different partner? Miss Scratch appears to have a lot on her hooves, at the moment, and my schedule scarcely allows time for such lengths of conversation." "Miss Philharmonica, are you instructing me on how to teach my own class?" Professor Steel-Shield accused, making the earth pony feel rather guilty. This was his class, after all. He had likely been carefully selected from a hoofful of other, highly recommended teachers. Of course I should trust his judgement; he likely knows far more than I ever will. she thought, mentally striking herself. "N-No, sir." Octavia stammered, regretting voicing her displeasure. Satisfied with putting down another unruly student, the professor continued assigning classmates together until the list had been depleted and the students were dismissed, with the white unicorn mare being the first out the door after she had hurriedly thrown her glasses back on, not waiting to meet with her partner as the other students were doing.
First Day of School, part two"Excuse me, Miss Scratch!" Octavia called out as she attempted to politely push her way through the throng of students as they scuttled to their next class. The unicorn made no indication of hearing her as she continued along, far ahead of Octavia, before she rounded a corner and disappeared. Octavia kept her composure through her frustration, and managed to push her way towards the direction of her project partner; through the double doors that led to the beautiful pseudo park that defined the Fillydelphia University. Octavia's gaze found itself scanning and picking through the mess of students, searching for a sharp blue mane, before she spotted her partner making her way across the grass. Clearing her throat and suppressing her smile, the refined mare easily slipped into a tölt and found herself satisfied with its balance of speed and grace as she snaked her way to the white mare. "Pardon me, Miss Scratch?" Octavia began, catching the irritated glance of the unicorn, who had stopped in her tracks and turned to face the mare. "My name is Octavia Melody Philharmonica, and I am your partner in our psychology project." Octavia bowed as she introduced herself, hoping the grace of her posture would only amplify her politeness, until she rose and found the unicorn eyeing her with a raised brow. Quickly, she surmised that, despite her partner's apparent fame, she may not be from the same class as she, and therefore unfamiliar with such standards. "Ah, um, forgive me for perhaps appearing unusual. I find myself held to a higher standard of expectations, you see." It bothered Octavia that she could barely make out the movements of the unicorn's eyes behind her dark glasses, as she had grown accustomed to judging the thoughts of others through their gaze. It was impossible to tell if she had made a negative impression, or not, but worry gave way to confusion as the unicorn simply raised a hoof towards Octavia, at which she stared in confusion, quietly seeking instruction through pleading eyes. The unicorn sighed and rolled her head, slightly, before gripping Octavia's hoof gently in her magic and raising it until it was level with Vinyl's, at which point they bumped horseshoes in a fluid motion before their hooves fell to the ground. Oh. Octavia thought, with slight dread. This was that kind of mare. Clearing her throat and ever so slightly scraping her hoof on the ground, Octavia spoke up, once more: "While I am unaware of any restrictions you may have, my schedule is clear for the following two hours. Is now a good time to begin our project?" Vinyl gave a half-hearted shrug and slowly led Octavia into the shade of a tree within the park before dropping her bag to the side and pulling out a notebook in anticipation as she lay in the grass. Octavia was far more graceful as she set her bag to her side and folded her forehooves while she lay across from the mare. "As you already know, I am Octavia Melody Philharmonica of the Piast family. You may know of my mother, Mezzo Piano." Vinyl scribbled something down and turned the page so that Octavia could read. In an instant, the reserved earth pony mare found her eyes drawn to the page with her eyebrows wide in amazement; this mares' calligraphy was absolutely incredible, and her pencil strokes flowed with elegance as the curves within the letters carved rivers into the paper! Never heard of you. she wrote. Octavia felt thoroughly conflicted. On one hoof, she found herself entranced by the style of writing from what she had assumed was such a low class mare. On the other hoof, she felt disrespected at the short and direct style in which she responded. And on yet another hoof, she felt relieved that this mare hadn't an inkling of knowledge about her family, or her mother. She could establish herself, here. But, before she could express her hopes or ask another question, she found a new sentence just under the first, in that same elegant form. Name's Vinyl Scratch, aka DJ-Pon3. You've probably heard of me. she had written. "Unfortunately, it seems as though I have not heard of you, either. We appear to come from drastically different circles." Octavia admitted, sheepishly. "What would I have heard of you?" Now it was Vinyl's turn to be taken aback, as it dawned on her that this gray earth pony didn't know about her fame, which meant that she was unaware of the rumors surrounding her private life. She cracked a small smile and scribbled another line into the paper. Don't worry about it. It's pretty relieving that you haven't heard of me, actually. Octavia reluctantly cracked a smile of her own as she gave a small nod. "I am all too familiar with wanting to live as an invisible pony, sometimes. It is tiring when ponies look at me and see my mother, rather than a mare who can stand on her own." The two shared a brief silence of understanding before Vinyl wove her pen into the paper, once more. What brings you to Fillydelphia University? she wrote. "I informed my mother of my intentions to be my own mare, and decided I needed the skills to actually do so. I am taking classical music theory because the cello is my instrument, and it would be foalish of me to believe I have learned everything there is to know about it." Octavia explained. "I am also taking musical theater as a hobby, as well as business management to garner the skills needed to essentially be my own stage manager, and psychology in order to better understand how to appeal to ponies and develop my own life. What brings you to such an esteemed university?" A friend convinced me. Creative writing, though I don't know why. Modern musical theory, if you can believe that coincidence. And I'm in psychology for exactly what Mr. Steel-Shield said: to be a better pony. Vinyl wrote Octavia nodded in understanding. "What makes you think you need to be a better pony?" Personal stuff. Vinyl scribbled, rather slowly, as if uncomfortable. "No need to feel embarrassed, this assignment is about us getting to know each other. Do not feel like you can not tell me anything." Octavia insisted. Really, it's fine. What's your favorite color? she wrote. Octavia glanced down at the paper and frowned as she gave Vinyl a light, accusative glance. "It is not entirely fair to simply not answer my questions, Miss Scratch. Our assignment is to understand and become friends with one another, and I cannot do so if you do not work with me. This is as much your grade as it is mine." Whatever smile Vinyl had been holding onto had completely disappeared by this point, replaced with a frown as she scribbled another line in a huff. Forget it. It was nice talking with you, while it lasted. As Vinyl stood up to leave, Octavia rose, as well, and commandingly cleared her throat. "Miss Scratch, I do not know what has come over you or what you are dealing with in your life, but my grade is important to me, and I will not have it sullied by uncooperativeness. Your refusal to speak only makes this more difficult, on top of your unwillingness to remain civil with me. Perhaps we should continue this at another time, after you have had a chance to calm yourself? How may I contact you?" Vinyl shot Octavia a hard glare as she angrily tore into the paper with her pencil, going as far as to actually tear the paper in some parts before she threw her page on the ground and stormed off past Octavia, whose eyes tracked the mare as she left until she rounded a corner and disappeared from sight. What an unruly and absolutely uncouth mare. Octavia snorted in thought, before turning to read the note she had been left. I'm mute, you dumb ass! And forgive me for not wanting to spill my entire life to somepony I just met, school project or no. We all have secrets and things we don't want others knowing, so just piss off. I don't want friends, and I especially don't want to be friends with such an uppity mare who thinks only of herself and doesn't even begin to understand that she's not in whatever high class mansion she came from. This is Fillydelphia, get used to it. Vinyl stormed across the grass of her university as she fumed. What the fuck is her problem? Vinyl thought to herself as she weaved through oncoming students. Is she so fucking sheltered that she doesn't understand basic privacy? Load of good that snobby upbringing did for her, mare can't even stay polite if she doesn't get her way. Vinyl threw her head to the side as she shifted her hair out of her face and pulled her headphones out of her bag with her magic, finding their comfortable home as they hugged her ears. Not long after, quiet, upbeat music began to trickle its way into her mind and she found herself walking in time to the beat as she took a breath to calm herself. In an instant, she realized that she had stormed off in the wrong direction. When she should have been heading back to her apartment, she instead found that she stood in front of the administration building, where she had registered for her courses. I could end this all, right now. she thought, tuning out her music as she read the golden letters that adorned the side of the building. Cancel my courses and drop out. It'd be fast and easy, and I'd have no problem making that money back if I could land a better gig. Vinyl struggled with herself for only a few seconds more before she hung her head, dejectedly, and turned away to head home. I don't want to lose Neon... she thought. If I dropped out, that'd be it. I'd lose the only friend I actually have and then... I don't know what I'd do with myself... Vinyl shook her head in an attempt to stave off her thoughts before she turned her music up just a smidgen louder, satisfied that it would occupy her thoughts and keep her from doing anything rash as she made her way home. When she arrived, her bag thudded to the floor and her glasses and headphones kept each other company on the kitchen counter of her small apartment. Vinyl wasn't ashamed of her home. It was small, yes, and the kitchen and bathroom were the first things on your right and left as you entered, but it suited her. She didn't need a lot of space, and found the small quarters of her three-room apartment surprisingly comfortable. It was messy, yes, but that was just Vinyl; her style. Still, while she may not have been ashamed of her apartment, and while she was comfortable with the space, she couldn't shake the feeling that it felt so incredibly cold. Empty. For a moment, she thought about calling Neon Lights over, hoping he could see that she was making a difference in her life even if she wasn't entirely entranced with the idea. Maybe he'd stay, if only for the night. Vinyl walked her narrow hallway and opened the door to her bedroom before falling face-first into her bed. As she took in the utter silence of her apartment, she began to cry into her sheets. It's not fair! she mentally screamed as she punched the blanket beneath her. I have fame and money, so why the fuck can't I just be happy?! Deep down, however, Vinyl knew the source of her misery. It was exactly like Neon had said, all those months ago when he had convinced her to go to school: "You turned to drugs for help more than you turned to your friends." But it's not my fault! Vinyl argued with herself. Why can't ponies just treat me like Vinyl instead of DJ-Pon3 all the fucking time?! I'm more than that! I... Vinyl paused, mid mental sentence as a rogue thought crossed her mind. You shoved away the pony who did treat you like Vinyl. Vinyl shook her head in protest as she levitated a pillow into her face. I didn't want to hurt her... I don't want to hurt any pony... she thought. I can't let them close because they'll just see what a fucking slob I am. They'll hate me because I drink too much, or because I use party drugs, or they'll just see what a shitty person I am... Just like Neon... Vinyl lay in her own depressive pool for a moments, simply sulking, before she hovered her phone towards her face and pulled up Neon Light's text. Before she could start the conversation, however, another text buzzed itself into existence and filled the screen. Hey, Vinyl! It's Cherry Blast. Remember me? I'm throwing a party tonight, want to swing by just as a guest? There's gonna be booze and your favorite you-know-what ;) From Cherry Blast, received at 5:31 P.M. Vinyl froze in shock as she read the text, her heart thumping in her chest. "You stupid, stupid pony!" Octavia berated herself with a pained frown painted on her face as she pulled another stack of books from one of the several cardboard boxes that were neatly stacked against the wall in the living room of her rather exquisite singles dorm. "How could you have been so rude? How could you have forgotten your manners in an instant?" Octavia ashamedly recalled the events that had transpired no more than an hour ago, painfully reliving the realization that she had practically insulted and violated the personal space of her best chance at a friend. "What a tremendous first day, Octavia! You managed to fall back into the shadow of your mother in both classical music and theater class, your psychology teacher now despises you for insinuating that you know how to run his class, and you threw away the best chance at your own friendship all in the span of less than twelve hours! This is what you call 'being your own mare'?!" she exclaimed, carefully setting the books into their alphabetically-sorted spots on her shelf before moving to collapse the now empty box. In stark contrast to Vinyl, Octavia's dorm room was much larger and cleaner, featuring a dining room in the kitchen and a small study that she would reforge into her cello room. Despite feeling much smaller than home, she couldn't help but admire the spacious room that was certainly reserved for only the most prestigious families. Still, Octavia soon realized, it felt rather... Empty. Yes, she had mostly unpacked and, yes her affects filled her living space quite nicely, but Octavia found that she felt out of place and uncomfortable in such an environment with no one else. Growing up, there had always been someone nearby - be they a butler, a maid, or even her own mother. Octavia was always in the company of some pony who could play with her, help her study, or even preform her errands. Now, she was growing incredibly bothered by the idea that she was living independent from everything that defined her mother. If this is the cost of living in the sunlight, then so be it. Octavia thought, doing nothing to satisfy her discomfort. As she put the finishing touches on personalizing her kitchen, her ears perked at the gentle sound of Pearly Water - Symphony #8 and groaned. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, her mother was now calling her to muddle her feelings even further. "Hello, mother?" Ocavia began as she held the large, earth-pony designed device to her ear. "Octavia, dear!" her mothers' caring voice sounded from the other side. "I do hope I am not disturbing you, but I simply wished to see how you were doing. How has the first day of your own life played out?" "Oh, no need to worry, mother, everything has been simply wonderful." Octavia lied, an uneasy silence filling the device. "You know, dearest, you always were a terrible liar." her mother teased, softly. "I understand that you want to separate yourself from me, but please do not feel as though you cannot speak to me about what is bothering you; you would do well to ease your poor mother's heart, with you so far away from home." Octavia gave a small sigh, half in relief, and half in frustration that her mother knew her so well that she practically could keep nothing from her. "I... it is difficult, mother, being on my own. I was aware that it would not be an easy thing, to live on my own in nearly all aspects, but I am facing difficulties with issues I was not even aware I had. I... I may have hurt somepony, already." "Oh, Octavia, do not fret." her mother reassured her. "I am sure it was a simple misunderstanding, or perhaps you just misread their reaction. What all was said?" Octavia gave a guilty swallow as she recalled the meeting after class with Vinyl, repeating the tale to her mother in great detail. When she had finished, Octavia stood silently, waiting, as her mother thought over the situation. "I have had regrets, you know." Mezzo began. "About how I raised you. It was difficult, after your father passed away, and I have almost never stopped questioning myself, asking myself each night if I had done the right thing that day. Do you remember the charming little earth pony colt with the blue coat and yellow mane whom you invited to your eighth birthday?" "Glitter Star? Your memory continues to astound me, mother." Octavia laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Yes, well, there was a reason he was unavailable to play with you after your birthday. I... I told his parents that he was unsuitable for you. He was a colt, after all, and I had heard stories about how he would get rather physical when he played with his friends. Colts will be colts but, nevertheless, all I could imagine was him accidentally hurting you. That fear plagued my mind for many nights, and I felt justified in my decision until your seventeenth birthday." A feeling of dread overcame Octavia as she began to put the pieces together. "...Sapphire Shores?" she asked, uneasy. "I am afraid so." her mother admitted. "When she spoke to you after your performance, you were in tears for the rest of the night. She had meant her comment as a joke, dear - she truly respected you and adored your music. But, I realized just how late I was to correct my decisions. Because I kept almost every pony you could have had a chance to develop a friendship with out of your life to try and protect you, you were woefully unprepared for the rest of the world when you finally did leave your comfort zone, if only for a moment." Octavia remained silent as she processed her mothers' words, struggling to not lash out. She is the reason I have always been uncomfortable outside of my house... Octavia thought, her brow furrowing and her eyes wandering as feelings of betrayal welled up inside her before her mother spoke up, once again. "I am sorry, my sweet Octavia." her mother quietly apologized, regret heavy on her voice. "I cannot fix the mistakes of my past, but I can help you to build your future. Go to this new friend of yours and apologize. Place yourself below her, admit your faults and attempt to reconcile. Do not give up, do not let this mare pass you by. You are so much better than that, my dearest Octavia. You are worth so much more." Author's Note If you got pinged about an update after this chapter was already published, I'm sorry. I was just fixing an error in Octavia's speech for consistency.
RegretsOne more class to go. Octavia thought, withholding a smile. This is it. I'm going to march in there, sit down next to her, and apologize. Octavia took a deep, reassuring breath as she calmed herself and set her worries aside. Her mind had been swarming for the last two nights with thoughts of resentment towards her mother for denying her so many chances, fears that she would be forever broken, and worry over what she had said to Miss Scratch. She didn't mean for what she said to have had such a negative impact on her, but that didn't change the fact that it did, and Octavia was determined to make it right, to prove to herself that she was not broken, that she could live her life to its fullest and have a chance at everything she had ever wanted. She had played the conversation in her head from every angle, over and over, so much that she found herself garnering peculiar glances from her classmates as she realized she had become completely entranced in her own thoughts, at times. She shook her head with an inward smile, finding humor in how she was fretting over the situation. Yes, she felt guilty, and yes she wanted to make amends. It was who she was, at heart: a caring pony who, deep down, didn't want to hurt anyone. Still, she found it humorous the lengths at which she had gone to right this bad experience. Had she not known any better, Octavia might even entertained the thought that she cared a little- "Pardon me, Miss Philharmonica." Professor Steel-Shield stated, pulling Octavia from her thoughts as she turned to face her steely-eyed instructor who simply stared at her, impatiently, until he cleared his throat and motioned behind her. Oh! Of course! Octavia realized as she turned to see what was behind her. She had been standing in front of the door to her psychology class for the past two minutes, staring silently at the wooden door with the large framed window. She sheepishly stepped out of the way to allow the pegasus the opportunity to unlock and step through the door before Octavia followed and took her seat at the front, on the opposite side of the aisle, this time, right next to where Miss Scratch was supposed to sit. As she waited for the rest of her classmates to arrive, she replayed the scripted conversation she had written out in her head, quietly mouthing the words of both parties to herself. "Good evening, everypony. Glad to see at least some of you showed up." Professor Steel-Shield began, turning to write on the board behind him. Octavia blinked in surprise as she looked around the room, noticing at least six more empty chairs than there were two days ago. Octavia realized, with a pained frown, that Miss Scratch was one of those absent. Did I hurt her enough to make her drop out? Octavia began to worry as she critically replayed the initial conversation for the thousandth time. "Judging by the fact that Miss Scratch is not in attendance, I can only imagine that the reason for so many missing students is yet another party." the professor guessed, bitterly, as he sharply underlined today's lesson. Octavia, however, was far too engrossed with the fears and worry within her own mind to truly focus on today's lesson, and she found herself periodically glancing back at the door, hoping to see even a tuft of electric blue hair outside the door. "Miss Philharmonica." Professor Steel-Shield announced, pulling Octavia from her thoughts with a jump. "If you would like to leave, you are free to do so, although I would have expected better from a member of the Piast family. However, if you would like to stay with the rest of us in class, perhaps you can tell me what the oldest psychological debate is, and what it means. If you were really paying attention, now is the time to prove it." Octavia froze in her chair, stifling a blink as she locked eyes with the fierce-looking professor, who seemed to stare fury deep into her soul. She struggled to remember something, anything, that the professor had said before his question, and found her mind coming up blank. She felt ashamed as she let her head hang, defeated and utterly humiliated - this was unlike her! She had always paid attention in classes, scoring high above her peers. Now, she couldn't even remember the rest of the students coming into class. "Nature versus nurture." the professor stated as he turned to address the class, having received nothing but silence from Octavia. "Two conflicting theories on when ponies develop themselves. Are we wholly made at birth, destined to fill a predetermined mold based on our genetics? Or are we shaped, over time, by our environment? Or, perhaps, are both true? How much is within our control?" Octavia dutifully gave her teacher her full attention, now, her shame burning resolve in her mind that Miss Scratch was not going to be coming to class, today. Eventually, class drew to a close, and the professor turned to address the class as a whole: "Given the lack of determination displayed by those who chose not to attend day two of the first days of their life, anyone who finds that their partner no longer takes this class will be given a waving grade for the assignment. You will pass, but you will be sorely missing out on a phenomenal psychology lesson. If you have contact with your partner, and they are debating dropping out, talk with them about it for more sake than just that of your own grade." "With that out of the way, let's see who here is taking this as seriously as it is. Would anyone care to share what they've learned about their partners, so far?" Professor Steel-Shield asked. "Don't be shy, I'm going to be reading all of this when you write it down the last week of class. Yes?" A yellow coated mare with a green mane slowly stood up as she lowered her hoof and struggled to maintain her balance. "I... I learned that my good buddy Dewdrop used to work for the Weather Patrol in Ponyville." the mare stated, her voice slow and heavy, as though she were hungover. "And he has a little sister that he worries will think he abandoned her, so he writes her a neat little letter every day." "Miss Sunshower, did you come to my class intoxicated?" Professor Steel-Shield questioned, a hint of fury building on his tongue that caused the young mare's eyes to widen as she shook her head. "N-No, sir. I'm just very tired. I stayed up too late, uh... partying." the mare stammered as her voice grew quiet. "Then see that you straighten out your priorities and get a full nights' sleep." the stallion frowned. "Impressive, nonetheless. Mister Dewdrop, what have you learned about Miss Sunshower?" "I-I learned that Sunshower was actually in the weather management portion of the Weather Patrol at the same time I was a junior cadet in the skyway patrol portion." Dewdrops informed. "A-And she's an only child but she's always been jealous of siblings." "Wonderful work, you two." the professor nodded as the two took their seats, once more. "Theirs is a good start into what this project was designed to do. Already, they've found similar interests and even learned funny coincidences. This is the start of a good friendship between them, that much I can tell, already. Class is dismissed." Octavia found herself practically stumbling over her hooves in an effort to catch Sunshower before she could leave, making sure to recompose herself as the mare raised a tired glance to her. "Miss Sunshower? By any chance, did you happen to see Miss Scratch at the party you attended, last night?" A tired nod came from the mare as she pushed the rest of her books into her saddlebag. "Would you be able to put me in contact with Miss Scratch? She and I are partners and we failed to adequately discuss methods of communication, yesterday." Octavia asked, to which the mare blankly stared. "That... Is a lot of big words..." she mumbled, to herself. "She wants DJ-Pon3's number." Dewdrop reassured her, snapping the mare from her confusion as realization covered her face. Octavia practically beamed as the mare took out her phone. Vinyl Scratch gave a slight groan as she slowly opened her eyes. Her head was pounding, the light was killing her, and she couldn't find her shades to save her life. The mare chose to close her eyes, once more, as she tried to assess the situation without sight. Bile. I taste bile. That means- Vinyl thought, before her eyes shot open and her mouth began expelling whatever she had consumed, last night. The mare blinked and shuddered as she regained her senses, realizing with a sigh that she was going to have to clean that up. With a start, Vinyl followed the splotch of her vomit all the way up the strawberry-colored chest of the passed out mare whom she had been sleeping atop, and her face grew red as memories came rushing back. She had stared at Cherry Blast's text for only a few moments before her mind was made, instantly tapping out a request for an address. The next moment, she was on the cold Fillydelphia streets, shivering inside her black hoodie as she bobbed her head in anticipation of killer tunes, her current headset quiet while her shades sat firmly on her face even in the dead of night. She remembered hearing the party before she saw it, and a quick knock on the door was all she needed to gain entrance. Sometimes, Vinyl thought. Being famous has its benefits. She recalled the alcohol running down her chin as she chugged to the chant, finishing her mug while the poor mare who had challenged her had hardly even started her. She remembered the familiar papery feeling on her tongue as she made her way to the dance floor, forever caught in the addicting beats that threatened to rip her very spirit asunder. Memories of the strawberry mare with an orange mane flooded her mind as she remembered how she had swayed and bumped her way to Vinyl's side until the two were practically grinding on each other. The only logical step after the song had ended was to pin the eager mare against the wall and drag her lips across her snout and down her neck, tracing her belly, until they found their home in the hot, wet regions in between the mare's legs. Vinyl found her face flushing, once more, as she vividly recalled every flick of her tongue, every gasp that escaped her lips, and every spasm she caused the mare, until the favor was soon returned. She remembered the party carrying on well into the next day, with guests filing out just as soon as more poured in. She didn't remember falling asleep after the second night, let alone pressed firmly against Cherry Blast's chest. Vinyl felt used, and clambered over the mare in disgust as feelings of betrayal flooded her mind while she searched for her shades and headset. Did she really just invite me to eat me out? Vinyl thought, with a huff. She wasn't opposed to mares, and she was no stranger to several stallions, but something didn't sit right with how the situation played out to Vinyl. Snatching up her shades from under a crushed pizza box and swiping her dangling headset from the ceiling fan, the recovering mare carefully picked her way through the few ponies who were too drunk enough to safely make it home as they lay, dead asleep, on surfaces around the house. Finding her way into the kitchen, she quickly secured a pair of wash cloths and returned to the sleeping mare; carefully wiping and cleaning the vomit from her chest as Vinyl did her best not to wake her or dwell on the bitter feelings swimming through her head. Unable to locate the washing machine, Vinyl resorted to leaving the dirty rags in the bathroom sink, as some frisky couple had awoken in the bath tub and were attempting to recreate their previous night, together. Having no other reasons to stick around, Vinyl made her way out of the house and down the street, thankful for her shades as she caught the sun high in the sky. Oh fuck! Vinyl thought, with a start, as she whipped out her phone to check the time. It was 5:02 in the afternoon, nearly fifteen minutes after her last class ended. She internally screamed at herself for allowing herself to fall so low, to let an entire day go by. She prayed to Celestia that Neon Lights wouldn't find out that she had missed her second day of school to go partying - she dreaded the conversation that would bring. Would he forgive her? Would that be the last straw, he giving up on her and accepting her as a failure, finally abandoning a shitty pony after all these years of heartbreak? Vinyl fought back tears and hurried home, not wanting to deal with anything other than food and a shower. As she hurried through the door into her apartment, she scarcely felt her phone buzz in the pocket of her hoodies as she crawled out of it and tossed her gear onto the bed, trotting into the shower. Vinyl could hold her emotions back no further as the cold water hit her back, quickly growing warm. She slid down to the floor of the shower and firmly held her forehead against the wet tile as she gritted her teeth and let the tears flow into her white coat. She had tried convincing herself that it was different, at one point, that she wasn't like her father; an alcoholic who spent his days despising his grueling office work and watching television with several beers on standby. He hardly ever glanced at her mother, let alone address his daughter. In the rare case when he did, tears were shed and threats were hurled from either side as Vinyl did her best to tune the two out. When she was young, her solace had been burying her face into the side of her Princess Luna plush. As she grew older, her cope turned into drawing, then music, and finally she joined her father in destroying himself as she began stealing his own beer, her young mind fooled by the belief that if she simply drank it all, her father would have nothing left and he would get better. She snorted at herself in disgust as she slowly stood up. So much for not turning out like him. she thought, bitterly, as she began pouring shampoo into her fur, idly scrubbing herself as she sniffed away tears and replaced her misery with resentment. "Weakness ran in her blood" she remembered some asshole cop muttering as her father was whisked away to jail once again. As much as she hated it, as much as she fought to change it, she always found herself failing just like her mother and father had. Her mother was hopeless to change her situation, becoming too dependent on him and his abusive tendencies, and Vinyl grew disgusted with home life to the point where she had even tried to run away, at some point. Her family was such a failure, that Vinyl could only remember one nice thing her father had done for her: As soon as she graduated high school, a year behind, her 19th birthday present had been her father swinging from the ceiling of their living room. Shortly after that, her mother grew emotionally detached, and Vinyl found no resistance when a moving truck came to get her things for her. It was a past that Vinyl tried her hardest to push away, but every time she found herself waking up after another party, the cops' muttering words flooded her head once more, and it all came rushing back. The unicorn rinsed herself clean and shut off the cool water, wrapping her mane in a lengthy towel as she dried herself. Vinyl was grateful that the mirror was fogged, not wishing to see herself in such an emotionally and physically disheveled state. Content with her dryness, she made her way into the kitchen and shoved a cup of noodles into the microwave, finding herself lost in the slow turns and hums of the microwave until a buzz from her bedroom pulled her from her thoughts. Glancing at the time left for her food, Vinyl rounded the corner into the hallway and into her bedroom, where she lay on her bed as she fished her phone out of the crumbled, musty hoodie. One missed call: 919-438-7692 One new voicemail. Vinyl raised an eyebrow as she read the notification. It wasn't strange that she received unknown callers, but it was especially strange that they left a voicemail, as anywhere that would hire her for a gig was already in her contacts, and she practically shared numbers with any religious party-goers like herself. With a shrug, she unlocked her phone and connected to her voicemail, floating the phone to her ear as the microwaved beeped. "Hello, Miss Scratch, this is Octavia." the voice began. Vinyl suppressed a groan, wondering which poor pony she would have to murder to find out who gave this prissy princess her number. "I wanted to apologize for the turn our conversation on Monday took. I... Am often unaware of how to properly act in social situations due to lack of experience in my youth, although that is no proper excuse. I was wondering if you would be willing to meet with me outside of school, on neutral ground, so that we may get to know each other." Vinyl rolled her eyes as she levitated her dinner from the microwave and pulled a fork from inside a cup in her sink. "I am not doing this for the grade, Miss Scratch. It was wrong of me to focus so much on my schooling when this new adventure is truly about forging my own path in the world, and I would like that path to start with you, as a friend. I feel as though we may be able to assist in each others' needs." Vinyl winced at the thought, more out of genuine fear rather than spite, as she brought a fork full of noodles into her mouth. "If you would be willing to forgive me, I would be honored to meet you tonight, between six o'clock and nine o'clock. Please call me when you receive this message." Vinyl set her phone on the counter as the voicemail ended, battling herself as she stuffed more noodles into her face.Vinyl was put off by this mare, someone she had pushed away within the first day of meeting. She hated the way the mare held herself, speaking so carefully that it almost made Vinyl want to slap the silly out of her so she could have a normal conversation. She didn't want to risk hurting this mare, to get her hopes up only to destroy them once she learned of her issues. But, deep down, Vinyl really wanted to say yes. Vinyl only needed one moment more to make her decision, before her phone was floating in front of her face once more, with quiet magical taps dotting the screen. You talk a lot. Sent at 6:09 P.M. It took no less than a minute before her phone buzzed to life once more, capturing the mare's full attention as she dumped her now empty container into the slightly overflowing trash can. Forgive me, much of my life has been spent by myself, being groomed to such a high standard that I never had the opportunity to understand how life operated outside of my tiny circle. From Octavia, received at 6:10 P.M. Vinyl found herself smirking in appreciation. For as high class and proper as she pertained to be, she certainly had some sense of humility. Vinyl found it comforting as she typed her response, thankful that this mare wasn't entirely snobby. It's cool, I forgive you. Where did you want to meet up? Sent at 6:12 P.M. Faster than Vinyl thought possible for an earth pony, her reply came in, causing the unicorn to bite her lip as she tried to imagine how this mare typed so quickly. The Teacup Café on University Street, 6:30? From Octavia, received at 6:13 P.M. Vinyl smiled and grabbed her gear before heading out the door.
The Teacup CaféVinyl felt surprisingly disappointed as she pushed open the glass door to the rather small café. It was nearly empty, with much of its business being conducted in the day, but it still offered a home and a quiet place to study for those few students who remained, nestled in their corner booths with books spilling over the table. She didn't know why she was so disappointed - she only lived three minutes away, and it was foalish to expect the mare to have beaten her here, already. As she took a window seat in a booth, a shadow spilled out across her table and Vinyl fished out her notebook and pencil from within her hoodie. "What can I get for you, this evening?" the cream colored mare with a mocha brown mane calmly asked. Her voice was low and kind, careful not to disturb the peace for her other customers, as she held a little pad and pen at the ready in her magic. Vinyl scribbled her response as the mare patiently stood by, giving a small nod as she scribbled onto her own notepad and spun on her heels towards the service counter, leaving Vinyl to idly survey the café in a bide to pass the time. It was an older shop, she could tell that even through all the remodeling over the years in an effort to keep up with the times. I wonder if the University came first or last. Vinyl thought, amusing herself with the story of an upstart business falling on hard times until the school came around, sending an influx of customers like clockwork and saving the family shop. She found herself smiling softly at the mare as she returned with a gently steaming coffee, which carefully set itself onto the table in front of her as the waitress gave a smile and nod, in return. Vinyl took a breath to calm her nerves as she turned her attention to her cup, soon becoming lost in her own thoughts as the swirl of steam distracted her eyes. She wondered why she had come, although that downhill train of thought was quickly caught as Vinyl found sound reasoning in her desire to change. Anything is worth a shot. she mused, struggling to stave off the crippling thought of Yes, but how many times has that failed? "Do those glasses allow you to see ghosts?" a friendly, teasing voice spoke up, a little too quiet and respectful for even this environment. Vinyl blinked to regain thoughts as she lifted her head to the side to take in the sight of the light gray mare who offered a small, if not awkward smile as she took a chair across the table. "Forgive me, I meant so in jest." Vinyl mentally smacked herself as she realized the mare had been waiting for a response, only to receive silence from the unicorn who was lost in her own thoughts. Vinyl scribbled her words onto her notebook. Sorry, I spaced out. she wrote. "It is quite alright." the mare replied with an affirmative nod as the waitress returned to take the newcomer's order. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me, I can only imagine what annoyance I brought you at the end of our previous encounter." It's fine, really. I forgot about it as soon as I got home. Vinyl lied in scribbles, pausing for a moment before continuing a line underneath. So, how do you want to do this? Vinyl saw a hint of relief play itself out across the mare's lips as she read the first sentence, before she flicked her eyes up to meet Vinyl's in a respectful gaze. "Actually, I was wondering if you would like to lead this conversation. I have proven that I can be a bit... bossy, and I do not believe either of us appreciates that." Vinyl twiddled her pencil around in the air as she considered the mare's words. Why can't I be more like her? a fleeting thought shot out across Vinyl's conscious. She admits her mistakes. Vinyl's thoughts were spared a torrent of poor emotion as the returning waitress spoke up. "One daffodil sandwich with water for the lovely mare - what's the occasion, tonight? First date, or just friends?" she teased. Vinyl didn't have a chance to react as Octavia beat her to the punch with an embarrassed squirm. "J-Just friends! Meeting for a school project!" she immediately blurted, louder than socially acceptable as a blush crossed her snout. "W-Why would you think we were...?" The waitress gave an amused smile as she gave an apologetic nod. "My mistake - I've been servicing this café for the last twenty years and I like to think I've become rather good at reading my customers: a well groomed mare meeting another mare who hides behind her glasses and a hoodie at night? The gossip would be absolutely delicious!" the mare continued, eliciting no reaction from Vinyl as the white unicorn simply stared. "Of course, I've been wrong before. But, just in case I'm right, no need to fret, hun: there's a reason our city has filly in the name." With a wink, the waitress turned herself back towards the kitchen and disappeared behind the swinging doors as Vinyl focused once more on the notebook in front of her. What's your favorite color? she scribbled, catching a grateful glance from Octavia as Vinyl broke the ice. "Pink." Octavia informed, flatly, as she motioned to the simple little bow tie that adorned her neck. Cute. Your turn. Vinyl wrote, her face betraying no emotion. In truth, she felt at ease, more than anything else; she had frequently been accosted by fans before, so she grew used to the brash nature of their words and requests, from autographs to confirming the latest gossip. Vinyl wasn't exactly well known for quiet sit-downs, and her sexual life earned her quite a reputation, so it stood to reason that if this waitress knew anything about her that she would think something deliciously scandalous was happening in her little café, and Vinyl found great comfort in Octavia's well-to-do politeness. If she knows anything about me, Vinyl thought. I'm glad she's not showing it. "What about your favorite color?" Octavia inquired, politely folding one hoof over the other as she refused to touch her food or drink. Blue, like my mane. Vinyl scribbled. You alright? You're not eating. "Oh, I assure you I am fine. It is considered rude to eat in front of one who has no food, but even more rude to order nothing when your guest has ordered something." Octavia informed with a curt nod as Vinyl raised an eyebrow. Seems like it's designed to make you fail no matter what. she wrote. If you're hungry, eat. Nopony here cares about that. Octavia opened her mouth as if to defend her teachings, but found herself soon agreeing as she closed her mouth and looked down at her food. She is right. Octavia admitted, regretfully, as she began to understand the entrapment of many of her teachings. This is not upper Fillydelphia, the rules are different and I do not wish to stand out... As the gray mare began quietly chewing her sandwich, Vinyl continued on her notebook. You mentioned your mother, yesterday. What's she like? "She is caring, as any mother, but perhaps too protective of me." Octavia explained after a small swallow of her meal. "When I was younger, she loomed over me and guided my every step. In some places I thank her, such as with my education, but in others it dawns on me just what I missed out on with her controlling my life." I know how that feels. Vinyl wrote. Mom and dad basically tried to shut me in a box; they didn't let me do anything outside the house other than school, but they didn't try and do anything with me at home. "That sounds positively horrible!" Octavia said as she expressed her concern by lowering her sandwich. "How did you manage it?" Snuck out a lot. Vinyl wrote, simply. Started hanging out with crowds that I knew would piss my folks off. Of course, dad was too engrossed in his beers to really care, and mom was so wrapped around his hoof that I don't know how she survived afte- Vinyl stopped her pencil dead in its tracks as she caught herself openly delving into territory she considered incredibly private. Why the fuck am I telling her that? the unicorn thought as she scratched out the words after "off". If Octavia had read what Vinyl wrote before she scratched it through, she betrayed her knowledge with only a sad, understanding look in her eyes as she began to change the subject. "Perhaps I have been approaching this too boldly." she admitted. "How would you feel about this: rather than me pressuring you to open up, you ask me absolutely any question and I will answer it to the best of my abilities. No limits, and I must answer. In return, I will only ask simple questions such as what activities entertain you, and the like." Vinyl found herself leaning back in the booth at the mare's offer. Any question, no limits? Vinyl repeated in confusion. Why would you do that? "Because I have found that the best way to get to know someone is by opening yourself, completely, to them. Showing them exactly what you are made of, that there are no secrets or ill intentions." Octavia explained. "My mother told me that, if you can believe it." Vinyl remained pressed back in her seat as she stared down at her notebook in thought, leaving Octavia to resume eating quietly. Vinyl was entirely lost when it came to ideas for questions - she could be incredibly invasive, showing no mercy as she pulled apart this poor mares life, or she could be so delicate that she practically ignored the offer and stuck with barely scratching the surface of either's history. In truth, part of Vinyl knew what this mare was up to: she wanted a friend in the city, someone to show her around and help her fit in. Vinyl's lips pursed as she remembered her night with Cherry Blast and how degraded she had felt, afterwards. Still, Vinyl couldn't help but entertain the thought that this mare, even if she was simply at Vinyl for her own goals, could also be Vinyl's salvation - her freedom from the mess of her current life. If she could just open up to her, she may find someone who pushes her to do better. She may find a friend who didn't grow cold due to her own failures, like Neon had. Vinyl's hopes were put to rest as she hastily scribbled her question. Why do you wear that stupid bow tie? Vinyl wrote, forcing herself to scratch out the insult as an afterthought. Octavia paused for a moment after reading the question, her eyes growing dull as she relived some memory unknown to Vinyl before speaking up. "Because it reminds me of my father. What age are you?" Nice going, idiot. Vinyl quietly berated herself as she took note of the mare's sad demeanor. She had overstepped herself in her effort to force this mare back, to not let her close enough to be hurt. You fucked up anyway. Bravo. 21. Vinyl wrote, the curve in her two waving elegantly in sharp contrast to the strikingly bold line of her one. I'm sorry. I'm not really good at talking to other ponies; my actions tend to tell everyone anything they need to know about me. "And what do your actions say about you?" Octavia asked, sincerely, carefully watching her tone as to not sound accusatory and push Vinyl over the edge. Memories of stumbling home drunk in the dead of night scurried their way across Vinyl's eyes. Throwing up in garbage cans, making out with mares and stallions she had never met before, occasionally stealing over priced things from a store... These were the actions that defined Vinyl's character, and presented her as a mare only looking out for herself, for her next big party, and the ever longing feeling of that papery goodness on her tongue. That I want to change. Vinyl slowly wrote, after several moments of stillness. I'm going to school. Octavia's worried, caring eyes soon brightened as she read the words etched into the notebook. "I think that is absolutely commendable, Miss Scratch. It is not an easy path to walk, let alone choose, and I can only imagine the difficulty one has in admitting their need to change." Call me Vinyl. the unicorn scribbled, her insides tearing as she considered the mare's words. She thinks you're commendable! Vinyl snorted in thought. She thinks you're strong enough to really fucking change who you are, deep down. For all that fancy education, she's an idiot - you're never going to change and you know it. Weakness runs in your blood. "Vinyl," the mare began, with a smile, as her quiet voice pulled the unicorn from her thoughts with a little blink. "Why do you wear those glasses, everywhere?" Vinyl hesitated as she placed the tip of her pencil to the paper. Was this it? The moment of truth Vinyl had been fighting with herself for? If she told this mare everything, maybe she could help her, get her to see that Vinyl knew she was destroying herself and that she felt hopeless to stop it. Or, maybe, Vinyl thought, swallowing her hope as she admitted defeat to the oppressive voice in her mind, once more. She'll see you as a filthy addict and turn her nose up in disgust. Optical photo-sensitivity. Vinyl wrote, explaining only half the truth. Born that way, most lights hurt to look at. Vinyl stared at her half lie with a sadness hidden by her tinted glasses. The full truth was that hefty acid use had left her body only a fraction of what she had once been. Nowadays, even something as simple as a porch light blinded her, anything above a speaking voice threatened to make her ears bleed, her concentration had been shot to the point where she found herself spacing out at nothing more than anything else, and her periodic insomnia and loss of hunger only served to make her irritable beyond all recognition which led to frequent fights - something she was all too happy to partake in. This was who Vinyl was, now, and this is who she would be until she could take it no more before she would inevitably follow in her father's footsteps. Already doing that. Vinyl thought, bitterly, as she did her best to push a craving for liquor away. "Vinyl?" the mare's voice spoke up, once again, to pull the unicorn out of her inner darkness and into the light. "Are you alright? I apologize if I encroached onto a sensitive subject." I'm fine. she scribbled, lying to herself to ease the pain. Octavia simply looked sadly into those reflective purple glasses, seeing her own reflection. The quiet, careful stare shared between them was only known by Vinyl, and that made the silence all the more painful before Octavia began to speak. "I do not want to push you into an uncomfortable position, and I will leave if you so wish-" Octavia began, before Vinyl suddenly shifted in her seat. No! Vinyl quickly jutted down as she interrupted the mare, only smacking herself after the fact for such an impulsive action; something she was all too familiar with. "...but it is quite apparent that you are in great pain and likely being far too hard on yourself. I hate to see others in pain, let alone feel powerless to help them..." Octavia continued, her head turned down as if in shame. Vinyl briefly wondered if she felt ashamed for not offering sooner, or if helping others was something snobby ponies looked down on. "Can I help you, Vinyl? Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?" Vinyl stared at the gray mare with her mouth slightly ajar, in shock. She's asking you if she can help...? Vinyl thought, as though such an act was foreign to her. It was as though this mare had stepped through a door into an alternate dimension and happily clashed with every expectation thrown at her. It was unreal. Vinyl fought herself each step of the way as her pencil found itself gripped in her light blue magic, slowly rightening itself as it hovered over the paper. Within her mind, Vinyl was wracked with uncertainty, fear, a fleeting sense of hope, and found herself incredibly uneasy. Completely overcome with anxiety, Vinyl shuddered as her eyes widened and her dinner presented itself pouring over her notebook with a sickening sound of sludge in motion. Before Octavia could blink, she was on her hooves and bolting out the door; scarcely paying attention to a pleading cry from the gray mare to wait. "Vinyl, wait!" Octavia pleaded immediately after she had recovered from the shock of the unicorn vomiting before her. The next instant, she found herself setting a stack of bits to cover both meals on the table as the waitress emerged from the back with a perplexed look on her face as Octavia bolted after her friend. "I am terribly sorry, Miss!" Octavia hardly concerned herself with her appearance as an unruly mare as the door slammed outward in her haste. Few ponies were around, and she found herself no longer caring what others thought of her as she surveyed the street for any signs of a fleeing white mare. She spotted her friend not a moment too soon, as the unicorn bolted into a building further down the street, away from the University. "Vinyl, please wait!" she found herself yelling, too late as the mare disappeared through the double doors. It didn't take long for Octavia to reach them, as well, and she eagerly pushed her way through to discover a tidy little lobby with a sign above the curved desk that sat in the center of the room: Turtledove Apartments. Regaining her composure despite the older looking receptionist not even casting a glance in her direction, Octavia cleared her throat and let her face settle into a neutral demeanor as she approached. "Pardon me, Miss." Octavia began, respectfully, as the gray-maned mare lifted her head from her computer. "Does a Vinyl Scratch live here?" The mare returned to her computer, typing a few buttons as the light changed on her face. "Room fifty-two, east end of the building." the mare informed her, boredly, before returning completely to her work. Octavia found the room rather easily, it being the last door on the left, and raised her hoof to knock on the dark wooden door with resounding force - polite, yet commanding. "Vinyl? This is Octavia." she began, pressing her snout against the door. "I apologize for pressing too far, I should have known to leave well enough alone and to respect your boundaries." Silence from beyond the door made Octavia wonder if she was even being heard, of if the mare had her head under a pillow, shutting the world out. Octavia sighed, sadly, as she sat before the door and thought of what to say. "I did not mean to upset you, I only meant to offer you my help if you so wished it. I did not want you to feel as though you were forced to accept it. I..." Octavia felt her forehead press into the door as tears welled up in her eyes. Congratulations, you stupid pony. Octavia thought. You have gone and sullied the best chance you had at a friendship, even worse you hurt this poor mare enough that she is hiding in her own home probably sobbing her heart out. At once, everything came pouring out of Octavia as her composure was utterly destroyed in the lonely hallway. "I... I'm sorry, Vinyl. Ever since I was a little filly, I was forced to live a life that I didn't want, forced to be somepony I wasn't." Octavia cried. "I could never bring myself to argue against my mother, to tell her what I was feeling. She would have scolded me and brushed off my desires as childish and insisted that I was too young to know what I wanted, to know how the world worked." Octavia paused and tried to catch her breath through her nose, to no avail. "But I know who I am, and I know what I want! It's just.. so very difficult to break out of this mold my mother poured me into. All my life, I've been expected to act, speak, and think a certain way and I've hated it! But I could never learn any better until..." Octavia paused and caught her breath with a large inhale as memories of her seventeenth birthday came flooding back to her. She had played her cello, a new opening piece of her own writing, as a closing to her party-goers; a short thank you for their attendance. Sapphire Shoes, a young pony whose life had been captivated by opera and whom Octavia had come to respect called her performance "Not bad" with a smile and a wink. It was a light hearted comment, meant as a compliment, but Octavia's sheltered life had forced her into rigid expectations when it came to praise. Ponies were supposed to critique the work of others, to praise its success with lavish descriptions and compliments. Octavia had simply never expected someone to critique her work in such a downplayed manner. She told all of this to Vinyl, or perhaps Vinyl's empty room, as tears dripped down her cheeks and coated her right hoof from periodic wiping. She hadn't wanted to hurt this pony, she hadn't meant to appear so abrasive. She only wanted to help, and now she hoped that she could explain her failures away so that Vinyl would rush out and forgive her. All she wanted was- Click. Octavia raised her head to eye the knob with hopeful eyes as she processed the sound that had almost certainly come from the lock. A moment after, she steadied herself as the door cracked open just enough for Octavia to see a tired looking red eye peering out from a pitch black apartment, floating a torn sheet of paper out into the hallway. You used a contraction. it said, as Vinyl cast a raised brow at the mare. "I... What?" Octavia stammered in confusion as she wiped away the rest of her tears. You've never used a single contraction in the entire time I've heard you speak. Vinyl wrote. Octavia sat, speechless, as she stared into those wincing red eyes. It was true, she had never used a contraction, before; it was considered improper and made her seem uneducated. Yet here she was, bawling at the door of a pony she had only met three days ago, falling to pieces. And those eyes... Vinyl pulled the note back into her home as the door swung open all the way and the unicorn took a step back, begrudgingly flicking her head to the side as if to invite her in.
Just friendsVinyl did her best not to pay attention to the disdainful way Octavia glanced around her dirty, dark apartment, leading the mare to the only room she had that was appropriate for lounging, the bedroom, and did her best to guide her through only the light coming from her horn. As they stepped through the door, Vinyl made a point to leave it ajar as she climbed onto the far end of the bed with her back to her broken turntable, and levitated an empty notebook and a half consumed bottle of liquor to her side. She stared at Octavia, expectantly, as she watched her squint and look around the room with little waves of her hoof. Am I fucking stupid? Vinyl thought as she realized the mare couldn't see. Lighting a small candle that sat upon her dresser illuminated the room with a dim glow bright enough to not bother Vinyl while allowing Octavia to see as she now looked around for someplace other than the bed to sit. Another flick of Vinyl's head told the mare that there was no other spot, but she was welcome to climb up. With hesitation at the unfamiliarity of the situation, Octavia placed a hoof on the sheets and lifted herself up. I'd hate to see the look on that waitresses face. Vinyl thought, as a realization of the scenario dawned on the unicorn, who opened her notebook with a hoof. Sorry, I'd turn on a light for you and wear my glasses, but I took out my light bulbs when I moved in. Saves me a lot of money, too. she wrote. Octavia didn't need to crane her neck or wait for Vinyl to turn her notebook towards her, as the two were practically in each others' face. Octavia felt cramped and crowded in this small room, on this tiny bed, and she struggled to understand how somepony would live like this, in an apartment with only three rooms! "It is alright, I cannot expect you to bend to my whims in your own home, after all." Octavia admitted as she teetered on the edge of the bed, trying to gain some personal space. Why did you start using contractions? Vinyl wrote, waiting for Octavia to explain as she took a quick swig from her drink. "I... I do not entirely know." the gray mare admitted. "I wonder if it is because I grew so overwhelmed and I dropped my guard, so to speak, and all of my... upbringing washed away..." You should drop your guard more often. the unicorn scribbled. Makes you more approachable. You seem too snobby, otherwise. Octavia's nose scrunched at the comment, but she held her tongue as she took a deep breath and focused inwards, unsure of how to let years of social training wash away. Before she could try, more pencil scratches told Octavia that another question was coming from Vinyl. Why are you here? read the scribbles. "I came to apologize. I did not mean to make you uneasy nor unwell, and I..." Octavia paused, searching her mind for the right, careful words. One misstep and she might find herself on the other side of that apartment door, once again. "I would like to be able to confide in someone who does not expect so much from me. I would like a friend." Vinyl took another, much larger, swig from her bottle before it floated down to her side, once more, and she stared at the paper, blankly. Octavia's mind began to ebb with fear, hoping she had not chosen the wrong words and praying that she could find a way to actually salvaged this. Before she could speak, Vinyl's pencil wiggled to life. Only if you keep using contractions. she had written, causing Octavia to tilt her head in confusion at the unusual request, before Vinyl continued. I don't like to admit that I need help, but I do. So if we're going to be helping each other you need to do something for me, and I'll do something for you. For me, you need to not come off as a snob. You need to appear like someone I can talk to. So keep using contractions and ditch that prissy speech. Octavia considered the mare's words, carefully, not so much focusing on her demands but more so paying attention to her admittance. She knew Vinyl had been deeply troubled by something, but the extent of her issue was only becoming more apparent as she learned more about this mare. "I wi... I'll try." Octavia promised, with a smile. "But you will... You'll be more honest with me. I want to help you, Vinyl, but I can't if I don't know exactly what is bothering you or why." With a quiet sigh and a slight nod, the unicorn agreed before she tilted her head back and finished the final quarter of her bottle in a single go; setting the empty bottle onto the dresser as she pulled her notebook close. I have a drinking problem. she began, moving to the next line as she formed a list of her issues. I have a drug problem. I abuse acid. I have sex with ponies I don't even know. My eyes hurt all the time. I get lots of headaches. Parties are the only way I can let it all go and stop hurting for a while. I am weak. I hurt everyone I meet. I don't- Octavia tentatively lay a hoof on Vinyl's, snapping the mare from her trance as she realized that tears were streaming down her own face and she had literally torn into the paper at several points. She dropped her pencil in shock as she shivered from the suddenly realized emotions that welled within her, as Octavia bent her head to catch the unicorn's frightened glance. "It's alright, Vinyl. No need to be afraid." She promised, casting a reassuring smile. "You're not weak and, in fact, you're one of the strongest ponies I have had the pleasure of speaking with. You recognize your problems and are actively working to better yourself, and that makes you strong." Vinyl didn't feel strong, however. She felt weak and helpless, even more so as the mare retracted her hoof from atop her own. She closed her eyes, tightly, and struggled to breathe properly as she fought her anxiety and her craving. She was weak. "Vinyl, where are you going?" Octavia asked, as the white mare leapt off the bed and trotted her way around it towards the door, letting Octavia watch her with only a hint of satisfaction that the mare did not barge out the front door. A light grew from somewhere beyond Octavia's vision, in the direction Vinyl had turned, before the sound of clinking glass told Octavia all she needed to know before the mare returned with a case of poorly crafted beer. "Vinyl, I don't think that's such a good idea." I said I have a problem. Dropping it immediately won't fix it, so if you're going to try to stop me you can leave now. Vinyl scribbled, easily popping the cap of her beer off and taking a rather large gulp as her pen wiggled itself to life. Or, you can lighten up and have a beer, yourself. "I'm not old enough to drink." Octavia stated, concerned with the demeanor of her new friend as a beer floated its way to her. And I do acid. You see any cops? Vinyl wrote with a tired glare. Relax, you'd have to drink a thousand of these shitty things to get anywhere near my level of issues, and one isn't enough to even get me tipsy. Octavia eyed the frosted bottle before her with fear. Luna's Moon was stylized in captivating letters, accompanied by the aforementioned princess laying atop the two o's with her own bottle in hoof. Mother warned me about peer pressure. Octavia thought, in worry. But... Do I trust Vinyl? she continued as she glanced at the mare, who was glaring daggers into her almost empty bottle, now - completely oblivious to Octavia and her dilemma and likely lost in her own thoughts. She needs to feel like she's not alone, like she's not a monster... One bottle couldn't hurt... Vinyl blinked out of her depressive trance as she heard clinking of teeth against a glass bottle, and raised her head to see Octavia struggling to get the bottle open with her teeth. Vinyl quietly popped the cap with her magic before returning to finish her first bottle, being too busy fighting off her own thoughts to her Octavia's thanks. Congratu-fucking-lations, Vinyl. the berating voice sounded from within her own head. You've corrupted another pony to your cause. How long until she starts calling you just to host parties? She seems like an amphetamines kind of mare, don't you think? Honestly, why do you even bother reaching out for help? the voice continued, and Vinyl pictured a mocking smile on her inner demon. How many times has this happened, now? How many more ponies are you going to fuck over until you just kick the bucket? Octavia let out a frightened cry as she leapt, backwards, off the bed. Vinyl stood before her on the bed, a mix of rage and sorrow filling her eyes as she threw the empty bottle into the wall beside her, shattering the glass. Vinyl didn't even notice Octavia before she fell back into the bed, face down, as the quiet sound of crying pushed its way out from beneath the covers. Octavia's eyes were wide as her heart slammed against her rib cage, processing what had just happened. A flick of her eyes told her that the door was only a few feet away, and she could be back in the hallway in a matter of seconds. As her heart calmed and the situation deescalated, however, Octavia found her eyes drawn back to the white unicorn mare sobbing into the sheets. She needs me. Octavia thought, building up her resolve. She didn't invite you into her home just so you could leave her behind, Octavia! She needs you to be there for her, right now! She trusts you, because... Octavia lifted the package of beers in her mouth and dutifully trotted out into the hallway, placing them back in the fridge in the kitchen before climbing back up the bed and laying next to the mare; draping her hoof over the unicorn as she pressed her face against her shoulder, comfortingly. Because she's your friend. Octavia smiled, softly as she awoke to the lovely and quiet sound of Dancing Stars' "Instrumental #7", before her smile grew agape as she took in her surroundings and recalled last night's events: she had comforted Vinyl long into the night, until her tears grew quiet and were replaced with gentle breaths as the unicorn slept. As it was far too late to return home, she had chosen to stay just in case Vinyl awoke, but soon fell asleep further up the bed as to give the unicorn her space. Now, however, Octavia found herself laying on her side, with the white unicorn pressed snugly against her chest, with her muzzle firmly planted against her neck. Gentle breaths still pursed the unicorn's lips, blowing hot air into Octavia's fur and causing her heart to thump. As Octavia tried to pull away to get out of bed and turn off her alarm, she found Vinyl's snout slowly chasing her neck, remaining ever pressed into her, and a fierce blush overcame the earth pony. What would other ponies think?! Octavia thought, stitching the entire night's events together - unfortunately well aware of what it would look like to others. But I'm not that kind of mare! She slid out of bed and found freedom from Vinyl's touch, leaving the mare to gently shift as she fruitlessly searched for the prior comfort, still very much asleep. Moving quickly and quietly, Octavia silenced her phone and read the date: 6:00 am on Thursday. Octavia cursed herself for falling out of her routine so easily, completely neglecting last night's personal cello practice, and tiptoed out the room and into the hall before she began her journey back home. She had plenty of time before her first class of the day, but scarce time if she wanted to get home in enough time to begin her daily routine. For a moment, she slowed her pace as she thought about Vinyl and how upset she must be in her life, in that small apartment, and Octavia found herself pulling out her phone and leaving a message for her friend when she awoke. Sorry I wasn't there to make sure you were alright when you woke up. I stayed the night to make sure you were safe, but I have class at nine o'clock and needed to go. Send me a message when you are awake? Sent at 6:04 A.M. Author's Note This is likely it until after 7/7/2018. I've cranked out 6 chapters in the period of three days and need a bit of a break.
The Root of Our ProblemsOctavia stifled a yawn for the twelfth time as her eyes began to droop, once more, before they snapped awake yet again. She had managed only a measly three hours of sleep at Vinyl's apartment, and cursed herself for falling so far from her disciplined routine. At one point, it was like clockwork to her - a finely tuned and oiled machine, ticking the days away until her next out-of-the-ordinary event, and she had grown to admire its rigid construction and foundation that planned out every event as to avoid any unwanted surprises. In the past few days, however, she had completely disregarded any semblance of order and self-care in her life as she frequently missed the afternoon cello practice, as well as dinner at times. She began to wonder if this change, trying to establish herself as a separate entity from her mother, may be the cause. Was she acting out against her mother's teachings, subconsciously? Or perhaps she had always been this undisciplined, at heart, and found nopony to keep her on such a track. Octavia could not come to a solid conclusion, and instead allowed her mind to wander, freely, until it wiggled its way back to Vinyl and the night before. Her feelings of the white unicorn were conflicted, to say it simply. She cared about Vinyl, as a friend, and was incredibly proud of the mare when she finally managed to open up and speak about her problems, but part of Octavia worried that it would only get worse if she continued, and the gray mare fearfully recalled Vinyl's outburst. Am I pressing too far? Octavia thought, feebly. How am I to gauge her level of comfort if she always appears uncomfortable? Octavia rested her chin in her upturned hoof as she analyzed her thoughts, being too engrossed within her own mind to be aware of her uncouth posture. Was it wrong of me to follow her home? She opened up, in the end, but perhaps I forced her hoof... Octavia frowned. Perhaps it was worse that I stayed the night - I doubt I would have allowed the same, given the circumstances. Still, she did end up... Octavia's focus snapped back to reality as a furious red blush spread out across her snout, only to quickly be covered by a hoof as she replayed the morning's events in her mind: Vinyl pressed comfortably against her chest, her cool white fur intermingling with Octavia's gray, and the mare's snout making its home against her neck as affectionately warm air penetrated her fur and spread out across her skin. If anything, Vinyl appeared to have appreciated Octavia spending the night, but the gray mare still had her doubts as to if it was the most appropriate decision. "Miss Philharmonica?" a calm and neutral voice came from the front of the class. Her teacher, an older earth pony mare with a faded red mane and a bluish-gray coat stood before all her students, staring at Octavia expectantly as the class fell silent. That blasted name, again. Octavia frowned as she squirmed in her seat and placed her hooves in a more presentable manner. "Yes?" "Very good, then." Mrs. Bellweather nodded, before turning back to her book to continue asking questions regarding last night's reading. Octavia's eyes narrowed as her mouth turned agape, slightly. She felt as though she had missed an important part of the conversation, but was hopeless to put what pieces remained together long enough to form a coherent picture before a snide whisper sounded from behind her. "There goes Miss Philharmonica, again: a prodigy who can't even pay attention in literature class." spoke a quiet pony behind her, followed by a cruel snicker. "What do you suppose her mother would say if she saw how her daughter was acting?" Octavia let her glare be known as she felt fury rising within her chest. This was the last straw, the straw that broke the camel's back. She was tired of being compared to her mother, by her teachers, by her classmates, by common ponies simply wishing to say hello. She was her own mare, Luna damn it to Tartarus, and she would establish herself as such with no regard to the feelings of others. She turned to address her disparaging peers, a piercing gaze cutting through any and all obstacles, as words crawled their way up to her mouth - intent on speaking her mind once and for all. "Pay them no mind, Miss." a careful, calm voice began from her left. She turned to face this new voice as her animosity washed away, taking in the sight of an almost-gray-with-hints-of-purple earth pony sporting a carefully parted, wavy white mane and two content orange eyes. His ever so slight smile spoke well of a confident yet reserved stallion. "Their own mothers would think poorly of them, speaking so negatively of their classmates." Octavia swallowed whatever spiteful words had risen from the depths of her stomach before she returned to face the front of the classroom. "Are you alright?" the stallion continued, quietly, as his eyes remained glued to the teacher. "I could not help but notice that you appear very troubled." Octavia's brow furrowed as she considered discussing her worries with her classmate. Part of her knew that ignoring the teacher for her own conversation was rude and spat in the face of her education, but Octavia relented when she realized that she could not focus on the lesson, regardless, as her thoughts swam with strife. "I... No. I am not alright." she began, with a quiet sigh as she bowed her head, raking her mind for the right words to adequately paint a picture of her concerns. "A friend of mine, whom I admittedly have only know for a few days, is in a rather strangling situation and I want to help her but am not sure how." The stallion gave a small nod to show he was listening despite keeping his eyes forward. "I feel as though I am encroaching too far, but my desire to help another pony in need frequently destroys any social barriers I am aware of. On top of that, I feel trapped in my own life: I have been unable to hold myself to the routine I have lived for the last fifteen years, and every time I try to live my own life somepony decides now is the best time to compare me to my mother." Octavia sighed. "It is unfair - I am my own mare, yet everything I try to do that would establish myself on my own gets twisted into something about my mother not being proud of how I act. I am sick of being held to such expectations, yet I cannot seem to escape them." The stallion remained silent as she finished, his careful eyes revealing nothing but years of experience in keeping his opinions well-guarded, before he whispered his reply. "I admit that I am unfortunately unfamiliar with such experiences. Have you considered seeking professional help from the university psychologists?" "I have not." Octavia admitted, with a sigh, as she turned to face the teacher once more. She felt only somewhat worse than before, having sought help from another only to receive a referral. "I apologize, Miss." the stallion whispered, casting a concerned glance at Octavia. "I truly wish I could be of assistance but, sometimes the best thing we can do is guide another to better help." "Mister Riff and Miss Philharmonica." the teacher interrupted, catching Octavia in an understanding nod. "Are you two quite done? May I have my classroom back, please?" "My apologies, Mrs. Bellweather." the stallion spoke up, bowing his head respectfully. Mrs. Bellweather simply gave the pair a cold gaze from her emerald eyes before returning to her lecture. "Royal Riff, by the way." the stallion whispered, so quietly that Octavia would have missed the comment, completely, had she not caught the movement in the stallion's lips. "Octavia Melody Philharmonica." she whispered back, just as quiet as he, and the two shared a smile. "I do not believe I have your number. Only fitting for two musicians to stay in contact." he whispered. Octavia's eyes slightly widened at the boldness of his request, and how calmly it had rolled off of his tongue, as though he were ordering dinner. That confidence spoke to Octavia, and she withheld a smile as she spoke. "I do not recall giving it to you. How silly of me." Royal Riff's smile broadened as Octavia began wriggling her pencil in her mouth. A small smile crept onto the unicorn's snout as she squirmed atop her bed, clearly enjoying her dream of- Squawk! Vinyl Scratch's eyes winced open at the invasive sound, thankful for her black-out curtains that fought off the mid-day sun that threatened the peaceful dark of the unicorn's lonely apartment bedroom. She gave a slight groan at her pounding headache as she rubbed her eyes free of the gunk that bodies were known to produce during sleep and fumbled around for her glasses, finding them beside her headset atop her bedside table. Something foreign, an ever so slight difference in the unchanging stillness of Vinyl's life made itself known under her hoof, and the unicorn upturned her foreleg to inspect the strangeness: a thin white band of lace with a cute pink bow stitched in the middle. Octavia? Vinyl wondered, to herself, as she pieced together last night's events. Octavia chasing her down after her anxiety-induced outburst, Vinyl reluctantly letting the gray mare into her home, at least one bottle of alcohol downed in almost an instant, and then... Squawk! came the cry, again, snapping Vinyl from her thoughts as a scowl adorned her snout with the pulling back of her curtains. A decently sized raven sat perched atop her windowsill, and turned to face the unicorn as the two were revealed to each other. The bird hesitated, for a moment, before taking flight as Vinyl watched it soar higher and higher into the sky until it vanished behind a building. The symbolism was almost lost on Vinyl, whose mood soured even further as she drew the curtain close and turned back to survey the bed where she had slept beside her friend, thankful for her company, just the night before. But Octavia wasn't here, and that realization was only made worse by the lingering fear that Vinyl had perhaps scared her off for good, that her outburst had been too much and sent the little gray mare who only wanted to help Vinyl stop hating herself scurrying for cover. The emotional pain was soon accompanied by physical as Vinyl made her away around the bed, letting out a pained gasp as something sharp tore into her hoof. Idiot. she told herself as she winced, lifting a hoof to carefully step over the shards of glass that littered her carpet at the foot of her bed as she limped into the bathroom to tend to her wound. Shards came out easily with magical persuasion, blood clotted and was soon bandaged, but Vinyl still felt the burning sensation in her hoof as she stared into the sink and washed down the mistakes of last night. Vinyl found herself looking up into her surprisingly clean mirror as a wave of pity fell over her. Her mane was disheveled, her fur matted in odd locations and directions, a semblance of a frown constantly adorned her snout, and her head hung rather dejectedly. This is how Vinyl walked through life, hopes dashed as she made her way to the next big distraction. But today is different. Vinyl thought, furrowing her brow as she stared into the reflective purple lenses of her glasses. With a tentative pause, she slowly enveloped her glasses in her magical aura and slid them off of the bridge of her nose; staring into her vibrantly red eyes. Though tired and half closed, with bags underneath, Vinyl's heart skipped a beat as she noticed a glimmer from her iris, a momentary shimmer that told her she had taken the first step. It told her that she had done well. But Vinyl's frown remained as she replaced her glasses, the negative part of her conscious quickly beating any feelings of hope she had into a pulp. She had felt periodic joy, of course, but whenever it wasn't drug induced it was soon squashed as life threw another curve ball her way, and Vinyl knew it would only be a matter of time before the curve ball came flying. She stepped into the hallway as she mentally placed the day: Thursday. It was a free day for Vinyl, before two nights of gigs would occupy most of her time, and today was usually spent zoning out at the television or drinking until a party later in the night. But today is different. Vinyl thought, once again, fighting back against the oppressive voice within her. I took a step in the right direction, damn it! That has to count for something, doesn't it?! Vinyl shook her head in an attempt to dislodge the voice, knowing she was losing the battle, until a soft buzzing sound came from her bedside table which attracted the dulled unicorn; thankful for a distraction. Two new messages. read her screen, obscuring either message as the device dutifully notified its owner. Vinyl was slow to unlock her phone, fearing one of her fake friends was asking her to attend another event, and Vinyl wasn't entirely sure what her answer would have been. Her fears were soon put to rest, however, as the twin messages appeared in summary: one from Octavia, and the other from Neon Lights. The unicorn did her best to ignore the first message, instead looking over Neon Light's as she carefully began picking the glass out from within the carpet. Hey, Vinyl. How was your first week of school? From Neon Lights, received at 3:12 P.M. Vinyl's worries faded away as she replied to Neon Lights, providing him with a hefty summary of the last four days. She winced as she forced herself to explain how she had missed the second day of school and how she had hurt her new friend, already, but found her mood improving as she told him of the night before despite her outburst. I'm proud of you, you know? Listen, I'm in the area for the next few hours and was wondering if you wanted to catch up at The Feed Bag? 4? From Neon Lights, received at 3:20 P.M. Vinyl nodded at her phone as she responded, as though Neon could see her. She slipped into her hoodie once more and stuffed her pockets with a notebook, pencil, and her phone, but stopped short as she reached for her headset. She had placed Octavia's bow on her bedside table, and Vinyl hesitated to entertain the thought of inviting Octavia to meet her ex. Is it weird? Vinyl mused as she shook her head clear of the nonsense and grabbed her headset as she turned to the door, before a feeling won over the mare as she returned for the bow; stuffing it inside her hoodie. I'll ask her if she's busy after Neon and I are done. "Miss Philharmonica?" the gentle voice of the receptionist sounded, pulling Octavia from her worries as she adorned a polite smile and slid off of her chair. "Professor Starry Night will see you, now." Octavia gave a respectful nod in appreciation as she passed the desk, making her way down the hall and into the office of her school psychologist. He was a short, pudgy earth pony with a dark blue coat and a short, spikey yellow mane. He smiled at Octavia as she entered, and adjusted his wide-brimmed glasses as she sat. "Miss Philharmonica, welcome! My name, as you may have guessed, is Starry Night. I am your psychologist for the year." The stallion laughed in a friendly tone that betrayed his age as he shifted some loose papers on his desk into a rather large file. "Now, before we begin, I do have a few questions that I hope you can answer. I've been going over your file-" the stallion explained as he patted the bloated manila folder. There must be over five hundred pages in there! Octavia thought, in disbelief, as she eyed the folder with shocked eyes. "And I must say, it is quite impressive. But there are a few gaps." the stallion noted, as his tone grew serious. He paused and gauged Octavia's reaction as she turned her attention back to him and saw a small gulp of worry travel down her throat. "You have an extensive psychology report but I'm not seeing any completion letters in here, and my worry is only compounded by the fact that you specifically requested my help rather than that of your own psychology teacher, Professor Steel-Shield. Miss Philharmonica, do you feel any of your previous concerns have been properly addressed and resolved?" Octavia found herself dumbfounded at the direct approach of this stallion. It was true that she had seen many psychologists in her younger years, all at the behest of her mother for sometimes silly things such as feeling sad over the loss of a toy, but all of her previous psychologists had allowed her to take the lead and scarcely paid any concern to the issues that preceded them. Perhaps that is what dulled the mare's faith in clinical help, and what forced her to look at this stallion in a new light as her mouth hung agape. "...I do not believe so, in truth." Octavia began. "Most of the other psychologists my mother employed were shooed away once my mood improved, or focused on my mother's concerns more than mine. I choose you over my teacher because part of my problems stem from an assignment he issued." Starry Night simply listened as his client spoke, twiddling a pen in his mouth as he scribbled a few notes until a short silence befell the pair and the professor seized the opportunity to speak up. "Would it help you more to start with those unaddressed issues from your childhood?" "Actually, I would like to focus on some specific things, today." Octavia began as she sat up straight in her chair and found herself struggling for words and where to begin. Her eyes were drawn back to the large file as an inkling of doubt dashed across her mind: Could I have more affecting me than I know? "Would you like me to put the file back in my cabinet?" Professor Starry Night spoke up as Octavia blinked, free from her thoughts. "No, it's fine. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to find a place to start." Octavia mumbled with a sigh, scarcely noticing the perplexed look on her psychologist's face as he scribbled another note down. "I suppose we start with the biggest: my mother was an overbearing pony who had a hoof in absolutely everything I did. Ponies see her through me, and it's bothering me a great deal because my entire purpose for coming to university is to carve my own path out of life." Professor Starry night nodded in understanding as he scribbled out notes, following along as Octavia continued. "Any time I do something typically regarded as uncouth, it's always 'oh, what would her mother think?' or 'does her mother knows she's doing this?' and I am sick of it! I want to break free but I don't know how." "Can you give me some examples of what you're doing when ponies compare you to your mother?" the professor asked. "Well, just this morning I was speaking to another classmate during a lecture, and two other students began whispering about what my mother would think if she saw me like this." Octavia explained. "And another was about three weeks ago at a recital, where it was entirely too cold, and I was shaking enough to impact my performance. Those in my string quartet muttered something about my mother being able to play better - my own string quartet! And my mother plays the piano, not the cello!" "Hmm." Starry Night mused as he finished writing. "And which seemed to hurt or make you aggravated more?" "The incident this morning, I believe." Octavia admitted. "Because it... Because I was on my own, so to speak. At least with the quartet, I was still under my mother's influence. But here, she has no control over anything I do or say." "Really?" the professor inquired, with a hint of surprise. "Were the members of your quartet friends, or more so coworkers?" "Hardly friends, though we did have a few activities outside of performances." Octavia explained. "We were acquaintances through passion, nothing more." "I see. Do you have anypony you consider a friend?" he continued. "I do, now. Or, at least, I think I do." Octavia began. "Her name is Vinyl Scratch, and we share psychology class, together. She is actually also one of my concerns, today." Octavia paused as she expected the earth pony to push forth a question, but received only a patient look before she pressed on. "Well, she is the first pony I can actually consider a friend in a long time as my mother made it a point to keep as many positive influences as she could out of my life." Octavia muttered before calming herself. Now was not the time to tear into her mother. "Although I'm not sure if she considers me a friend, especially since we've only known each other for less than a week." "And... Why do you think you two may not be friends?" the professor asked, pausing mid sentence to circle a previous note. "Well, aside from how little we know about each other in addition to the fact that we only met on Monday, I feel like I'm being a little too... Invasive?" Octavia sheepishly admitted. "She's struggling with herself and I'm doing my best to help her, but sometimes she snaps at me." "In what ways do you think you're being invasive?" Starry Night asked, leaning back in his chair as he set his pencil down. Octavia suddenly felt very insecure as her psychologists' calm eyes bored into hers, and she found herself full of guilt as she imagined what Vinyl would do if she found out that Octavia had spilled her secrets to a shrink, of all ponies. Vinyl is the kind of mare to keep things quiet and to herself when she can... Octavia thought. But, if her problems are affecting me, too, do I have a right to tell someone else? "Miss Philharmonica?" Starry Night quietly questioned as Octavia took a deep breath. "Please don't call me that. I... I think that's part of the reason ponies keep comparing me to my mother, because they know I'm a part of that family even if they've never seen me." Octavia concluded. "Understandable. What would you prefer I call you?" Starry Night asked, finding a small smile growing over the mare's gray snout. "Octavia Melody. I'm dropping the family name." "Well, Octavia Melody, I think you've found an answer to your first problem." Starry Night informed her, sharing the same beaming smile. "Discover and establish yourself!" "Vinyl!" Neon Lights beamed with that charming, suave demeanor as he looked up from his milkshake. His short, spikey gray mane remained motionless as his head turned to greet the unicorn, slick with generous amounts of styling gel, and his light blue-gray coat was short and clean as he pulled the mare into a friendly hug. "I'm really glad you came." Vinyl gave a somewhat forced smile at him as the pair took opposite seats in the booth, and the mare hurried to free her notebook from her pocket as a waiter approached. "What can I get for you two, today?" he inquired, a forced smile of his own adorning his face that spoke of years of customer service. As the two placed their orders, Vinyl found herself zoning out on Neon as he debated between potato fries and onion rings. It was strange being here like this, with Neon, just sitting down in a friendly place on friendly terms. It was true that they had stayed in touch after their breakup, but Vinyl stayed true to her nature and kept him at bay as she dealt with the stress of her breakup in the only way she knew how. She couldn't place the last time Neon had actually spoken to her, but she quickly crushed that fear as she scribbled her order for the waiter. The situation was even stranger to the mare as she found herself studying the unicorn while his lips moved in speech, but Vinyl sent no power to her ears. Her eyes locked onto the cool black shades that sat on his head, propped up by his horn. Vinyl had bought them on a whim on one of the couples' frequent outings, and now they were old and scraped in places, with the slightest wrapping of tape holding one of the arms to the rest of the frame. But she found some comfort in the fact that he was still wearing them after all these years, after everything that happened between them. And then, Vinyl chose the road most traveled as she began comparing herself throughout the years, how she had been a much more carefree and outgoing mare, how she took life as it came with great strides and a plan to push through resistance. And now, here she was, sitting in a busy little chain restaurant with a cheesy name, meeting with someone she never wanted to let go but being powerless to keep. Feelings of bitterness welled within Vinyl as she realized how close, yet how far, Neon was to her. "Vinyl? You in there?" Neon whispered as he held the same sweet, charming smile that had captivated her way back when he was a rising star. "Don't tell me you've fallen asleep on me behind those glasses." Vinyl snapped-to as she shook her head clear and scribbled out her words. Sorry, I zoned out again. What were you saying? Neon gave a small sigh before he took a sip from his milkshake. "I was saying that I've missed you, you know? And this: just sitting down and meeting with a pony I care about. Have you taken my advice for those focusing treatments?" No, sorry. I've been pretty busy. she wrote. ...I've missed you, too. "Yeah..." Neon whispered, staring into his glass as he idly swirled his straw. "Listen, Vinyl, I don't want this to be awkward. If you want me to go, I will. We can keep things between us to texts." No, it's not that! Vinyl hurriedly reassured him as her eyes met with his worried gaze. I'm just working through some things, right now. Got a lot to think about, is all. "Well, you know I won't press if you don't want me to, but you also know I give great advice." Neon reminded her as he flashed a toothy, friendly grin. "What's up?" Vinyl found no hesitation like she had with Octavia because she knew Neon, and she trusted him. There's this mare in my psychology class. She's my assigned friend for the semester, and we're supposed to open up to each other and learn all we can. So you can see the issue, yeah? Neon nodded thoughtfully as he read over Vinyl's words, resting his chin in his hoof as he thought aloud: "Have you tried dodging sensitive stuff? I know most of what you think's important is sensitive, but you have other stuff, right?" Vinyl shook her head, slowly, as Neon gave her a pained look. "Come on, Vinyl, you've gotta look at the positive. You and I both know it's there." the stallion softly pleaded. "I mean, you're going to school, you've got reliable work, you've got your own apartment." And I missed my second day, my gigs are netting less and less people, and my apartment is a pigsty. Vinyl scribbled. Every time I try to look at the positive I'm reminded of the negative. "That's why you're going to have to actively challenge that thinking. It's not going to be easy, and you're going to... relapse-" Neon said, wincing at the poor choice of words. "But nothing worth having in life comes easily. How many times have I told you that?" Vinyl didn't touch her pencil as she considered his words with her head hung low. She knew he was right and there was no fighting that, but she felt trapped by the compounded failures to the point of giving up. As though sensing her thoughts, Neon reached across the table and placed his hoof before her eyes to grab her attention, once more. "Listen, Vinyl. I know you." he began, in a comforting, caring whisper. "And I still care about you. I've seen you when you're up, and if I didn't think you had it in you to rebound, we wouldn't be sitting here. We all have rough times, some more rough than others, but the reason you and I lasted as long as we did was because you're a strong mare who doesn't let anything stop her from getting what she wants." I don't know what I want, anymore. she lazily wrote, before she pushed her notebook to the side in order to clear room for her arriving food. She didn't wait for Neon to speak as she levitated her sandwich to her mouth and graced it with a large, hungry bite while Neon stared at her with an amused smile. "You certainly wanted that sandwich." he stated, as-a-matter-of-factly, as he dug into his own onion rings. It's not the same. she wrote, shooting him a playful glare as they ate. "It may not be as big of a decision as you were hoping for, but sometimes the little things pile up into a great big thing." Neon explained through bites, Vinyl only finding his charm growing as he spoke with food in his mouth. It was a rugged, carefree kind of charm. "But we just found at least one thing you know you wanted. So, what's another?" Vinyl caved in to his persuasive ways and tilted her head to the side in thought as she took another bite. What do I want? she asked herself. I want Neon... No, don't go there. He's just a really good friend, now, and I don't want to lose that. I... Neon's ears perked as Vinyl righted her head and set her food down, grabbing her notebook with a determined furrow of her brows. I want a friend. "That's a much better start." Neon agreed as his eyes silently scanned the purple, reflective lens of Vinyl's glasses. She knew what he was searching for as she carefully removed her glasses and raised a hoof to shield her eyes from the light to show Neon exactly what he was searching for: that same spark that she had seen this morning. But now Neon saw it as constant as ever. "So what's keeping you from that?" Vinyl replaced her shades as a dim smile graced her lips. She was feeling oddly invigorated, like she was picking up where she left off all those years ago. But she couldn't shove the negative voice within her head that easily, and worries and reasoning came crashing down on her logic, flooding her mind with flawed fears over why she couldn't have friends, why she wasn't deserving of them. "Tell me about this mare." he started up without missing a beat. He truly knew Vinyl better than herself, and it was the comfort of that knowledge coupled with the fact that he still believed in her that kept her going; that whispered to her that she could change, despite the torrent of self doubt that washed over her in her life. "What's her name, first off?" Octavia. Some fancy pony from a lot of wealth who thinks she understands how the world works outside of her mansion on the hill. Vinyl wrote. "Mhm. Now tell me something nice about her, something you like." he pressed. She... She's really innocent. And I don't want to hurt her. Vinyl wrote. "That's good!" Neon reassured the mare as he leaned forward in his seat. "Don't focus on the bad, just the facts about her. Tell me some more things you like about her." She's kind, and she seems to really care about helping me. Vinyl continued. And she hates her mom, just like me. I really don't know her that well, so that's it. Neon simply nodded as Vinyl's pen fell silent at her notebook's side, letting the air of the busy restaurant fall over their table as the two munched in thought. "So what's keeping you from getting to know her?" Vinyl shot Neon an unseen glance that questioned if he had really just asked that, as though he'd gone stupid, before her pencil wiggled to life. I told you, I don't want to hurt her. "Yeah, you mentioned that, but what specifically are you afraid of? Walk me through the worst interaction you can think of." Neon instructed, sensing the worried look Vinyl was shooting him through her shades before reassuring her. "We're going to challenge your thinking and get you to plan positively." Vinyl shrugged her shoulders, slightly, but her trust in Neon was strong as she brought the pencil to the paper once more. She wants a real friendship, like a go-out-and-do-stuff thing, then she see what a piece of shit I am. She sees how dull and boring I am, then I take her to a party to liven myself up and she sees how bad I can get. Then I lose her, like you Neon's eyes softened as his smile faded, while Vinyl hastily scribbled out the last line of her fears in ashamed frustration. "You know, I've never stopped caring about you, Vinyl. I wouldn't be here if I didn't care." Neon whispered. "And you know that the reason I left was because you didn't come to me for help when I felt you should have." "But this mare, she doesn't know you. You're a complete stranger to her." Neon continued, not allowing Vinyl a moment to beat herself up. "Yet she still cares about you like you're her childhood friend, Vinyl. You and this mare have nothing to lose and everything to gain from a friendship, but now it's your turn to take those steps; she's already done her part for this act, and she's waiting on you to catch up." But I- Vinyl began to write, wincing back as Neon snatched her pencil from the paper as he stood with his forehooves on the table, looming towards her with a serious gaze in his eyes. "Don't let this mare get away from you, Vinyl. If you want her to be, this will be your shot to bettering yourself because you'll feel like you have to do better than you are now to keep her from running." Neon explained with a quiet, stern tone. "You've told me that you have no one in your life except me, but you still don't help yourself because I'm just barely within your reach that it's comfortable for you. So this mare is your lifeline. She's going to be your motivation to change, since I am obviously not." Vinyl stared at Neon with wide eyes, completely taken back by his sudden shift in demeanor as she found herself sinking into the back of her seat, before the unicorn stallion retreated to his side of the table and rolled Vinyl's pencil back. A pleading, powerful, pained look shot through Neon's eyes as they locked with Vinyl's, and things began to fall into perspective for the bewildered mare as Neon resumed eating. Neon, I'm sorry. I didn't mean- she began, before the unicorn shook his head. "I'm not upset with you, Vinyl." he promised. "I just need to you understand how much it hurts me to see you like this, day after day. I thought breaking up would force you to face reality, but it hasn't, so that's why I just said what needed to be said. You need to change yourself if you want to keep this mare out of harms way, because shoving everypony away isn't going to make you happy." The two sat in relative silence for a few minutes more, each munching their food until they parted ways with a friendly hug, and Vinyl sat alone in the booth. Her mind was swimming with thoughts, pouring over what Neon had said to her; the impact of his demeanor ringing as loud as his words, and the white unicorn mare found herself pulling her phone from her hoodie, but paused as she found a white lace with a pink bow tie wrapped around the device. Vinyl gave a deep, resolving swallow as she carefully pulled the lace from her phone and began drafting a message. Author's Note This chapter dedicated to CommanderCuddle, who couldn't find the fic they wanted :(
Solutions Hey, Octavia. Want to hang out? From Vinyl Scratch, received at 6:22 P.M., yesterday Octavia stared at the text with a troubled gaze as the device sat before her hooves. Octavia had had a lot to think about after her appointment, yesterday, and never heard her phone go off as Vinyl's message came in. She stared at the words, reading them for a seventh time as her mind rumbled and turned. Do I? she thought, with concern. She's a nice mare, but I just have so much going on right now. And it certainly doesn't help that I think she's a part of my stress, be it intentional or not... Octavia sighed to herself as she lay her chin on the table and eyed the device with mock distaste. Royal Riff's call had come in just a few minutes after Vinyl's text, and he had asked the cellist to dinner - dinner! - after meeting only several hours before. She replayed the conversation in her head for the ninth time, tossing and turning it over in her mind as she analyzed it as though looking for a crack, a flaw, or any other imperfection. Good evening, Miss Philharmonica. he had said, with that damn confident but quiet tone that told Octavia that he was sporting a rugged smile on the other end. Please, simply call me Octavia. she interjected, politely. Of course. he had agreed, with a taste of humor on his tongue. I trust that you have had a pleasant day, thus far? I must say I have, and it was rather enlightening near the end. Wonderful. If I may be so daring, perhaps I could ensure you continue to have an excellent day by inviting you to dinner, tomorrow night? My treat, of course. Dinner? I- well, you- she had stammered, completely taken aback by the stallions' bold charm. But there was another layer to her shock that Octavia wasn't quite sure she had understood at the time: trepidation. ...That would be quite lovely. And now, after a full day had passed and with only an hour before she was to be picked up by the stallion, she still hadn't come to a decision about why she had agreed or why she was regretting it. She had spent the whole day waltzing through her classes while her mind was among the stars, and the well-graded paper from today's musical theory assignment told her that she was operating on a rather effective autopilot. But these high marks in stark contrast to the sharp decline of Octavia's academic prowess a few days earlier did nothing to cheer the gray mare up. This wasn't about doing better in school; this was about her and... ...Royal Riff? Octavia tasted the name in her mind as she pushed her eyebrows together in a troubled, thoughtful gaze. He was a well groomed stallion, in both a literal and figurative sense of the phrase, yet he maintained a hint of a rugged and bold charm that made him so alluring at times. He was a growing musician, as Octavia herself was, and his instrument of choice was a saxophone that he played with both power and grace - a truly stunning performance made only more impressive by the fact that he was also an earth pony like her, and had no magic with which to finely manipulate the keys. He was in a league that few earth ponies managed to find themselves in, and Octavia was right up there with him. He was well educated, well spoken, well meaning, and all the things that Octavia had been raised to match, admire, and expect. In short, he was exactly the type of stallion she could see herself spending the rest of her years with; exactly the type of stallion her mother would approve of... My mother. Octavia huffed as she spat the name in her mind. Of course her mother would approve of him - he was perfect! But her mother had been the puppet master in the sideshow that was her life for far too long, and Octavia was eager to find and exploit every way she could cut her strings. But how far am I willing to go? Octavia let her anger fade as she scrunched up her snout in thought. Was she willing to risk her career and personal life just to spite her mother? Would she throw away potentially the best relationship she could see just to get back at her mother? Octavia feared that her anger may be getting the best of her, and a little wooden earth pony mare with snipped strings lay motionless on a stage in her eyes every time she thought of turning away Royal Riff. No. Octavia thought, defiantly. This isn't about Royal Riff, this isn't about my mother. This is about me and... "...Vinyl?" Octavia's heart skipped a beat as she tasted the name on her tongue, and her stomach was greeted to a gentle fluttering feeling that was almost mistaken for sickness. The memory of a few nights ago waltzed through Octavia's mind like it was a welcomed guest, and the mare felt her cheeks grow hot as she imagined the gentle, warm breath of the unicorn seeping into the fur on her neck. Octavia reluctantly toyed with the idea in her mind, tumbling and tossing it over like a child playing haphazardly with a doll that would soon be broken from their mistreatment. Vinyl Scratch was the exact opposite of Royal Riff: where he was neat, she was messy. Where he was polite, she was curt. Where he was open and brash, she was closed and reserved. Where he was ruggedly charming, she was charmingly rugged. Where he was the comfortable upper class, she was the determined lower class. Where he was a stallion, she was... "A mare." Octavia whispered to herself as the scowling face of her mother glared at her from the depths of her mind. It was true: Vinyl was the epitome of everything her mother would disapprove of. Messy, rude, reclusive, lower class... A mare. Octavia groaned as she held her face in her hooves. A mare! A female! A member of the same sex, denying any chance for her mother to have grandfoals to gush over. The spiteful thought caused a smirk to appear on Octavia's face, but quickly reverted into a frown as her head shot up in realization. Could I possibly be that spiteful? she thought with a worried gaze. She replayed the memory of Vinyl pressed close to her that night, she let her heart thump soundly in her chest, and she felt her face grow hot as she let out the quietest of pants to catch a breath she hadn't realize she had been denying herself. She imagined running her hoof through that striking blue mane, trailing her snout against that white cheek, pressing her lips to hers and... There was nothing. There was no thump of her heart, no quiver in her stomach, and no heat on her face. Octavia didn't feel anything from that day dream. With a frustrated groan, her face found itself at home in her hooves, once more, as Octavia racked her mind for answers. It sickened her that she may simply be toying with the idea of Vinyl for nothing more than striking back at her mother, but it was clear there were no feelings for the unicorn. But what about Royal Riff? she thought as she let her mind wander around that possibility. A charming candlelit dinner, a walk in the park at night, a heartfelt confession of their feelings... a soft kiss on her lips... Her heart skipped a beat for a fraction of a second, but Octavia took note of it as she searched her body for more feelings only to thump her head into the table when she could find none. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know if she disliked Vinyl because she was a mare, because she was the opposite of everything she had been raised for, or because she didn't want to drag the poor unicorn into a feud between her mother and herself. She didn't know if she disliked Royal Riff because he was all of the things she was expected to adore and fawn over, because he was far too forward, or because it would entrap her in the very life she was fighting so hard to get way from. She just didn't know. But the one thing she did know was that it wouldn't be long until her date would arrive to fetch her, and Vinyl's poor neglected text had long gone unresponded to. Sorry, Vinyl, but I need a few days to myself. Have some things I need to figure out. From Octavia, received at 6:51 P.M. Vinyl regarded the text for a few moments as she worked to shovel another forkful of noodles into her mouth before her plastic utensil scraped loudly at the bottom of the empty styrofoam cup. She blinked in surprise at the noise; had she really eaten an entire cup of noodles while staring at the message? Vinyl gave a small grunt as she rolled off of the bed and deposited her trash into the now empty bin. It was nearly seven, an hour before Vinyl had to be at her next gig on the other side of the city, and she hadn't even showered yet. So what if she doesn't want to hang out? Vinyl shrugged to herself as she made her way into the cold bathroom. You have a gig in an hour, anyway. Vinyl's hoof expertly fumbled around the tiled wall of her shower in search of the shampoo as glorious hot water came pouring from the heavens and giving the unicorn a reason to release a sigh of relief. So what if it only took her a whole day to turn you down? Vinyl closed her eyes as she fought the negative thoughts in her head, barely hearing Neon's distant, echoing words of "challenge your thinking!" in her mind before they were overtaken with the voice Vinyl struggled against. I mean, it's not like she wants to stay as far away from you as possible after your stunt. Shut up. Vinyl fought back as she tilted her head towards the faucet and let the hot water wash away all of her stress as the liquid cascaded down her forehead and snout. She has a life of her own. She has things to think about other than me. Or maybe... the voice sneered as the unicorn began to pour and lather shampoo into her coat and mane. You're exactly what she's been thinking about. The poor little unicorn bitch she so foalishly tried to save. the voice taunted. But what makes you worth saving, Vinyl? Shut up, dad! she mentally screamed as a hoof pounded into the wall. Her eyes were clenched shut as shampoo rinsed itself off of her hide, the water doing wonders of masking her tears but the bathroom tiles betraying her sobs to her empty apartment. Her dad simply laughed in her head, an echo of a dead stallion fading into the recess of her mind. She tried to tell herself it was true, that she wasn't worth saving. But, deep down, she knew she wanted to be saved yet she wasn't strong enough to carry on all by her lonesome. She needed someone to offer a hoof out to her, as much as she hated it... And Octavia was that hoof. She's her own pony, Vinyl. She's got a life outside of being your friend. the unicorn tried telling herself as she shut the water off. She's a high class mare going to school, she probably has six classes every day and a flankload of homework to boot. ...And she's so far out of your league you can't even begin to- Vinyl scrunched up her nose in frustration and fought the negative thoughts back with all of her might. It was once in a blue moon that she won those fights, but it seemed like Princess Luna was being generous tonight. As she stepped back into the hallway with a pair of towels levitating themselves over every inch of the dripping unicorn, Vinyl found her eyes drawn down the hall towards the open door of her bedroom, where her phone sat beside a cute little pink bow tie interweaved with a white lace. She had been meaning to get it back to Octavia but simply hadn't found the time. Plus, it apparently wasn't that important to the mare or else she would have come by to at least ask Vinyl if she'd seen it, which allowed the unicorn ample time to wrap it around her hooves every so often when she found herself lost in her own mind, fighting a losing battle against that cursed stallion. As simple as it may have been, that little pink bow tie was Vinyl's flimsy little shield, but a shield nonetheless. And a shield that smelled a little good, she supposed... Before long, Vinyl found herself on her side atop the cold, inviting bed with the lace wrapped around her hoof once more. She gave a comforted smile and a shallow sniff as she closed her eyes; gently pressing pink to white as she sought to recapture her memories from that night: It had been only a few hours since her outburst, and the taste of alcohol was still rancid on her tongue as she blinked herself awake. Hardly a noise sounded from around the quiet downtown apartment, but Vinyl's ears flicked as she caught the gentle breathing of a gray mare curled up into herself on the other side of the bed. It was Octavia. I mean, it was obviously Octavia, but Vinyl was simply stunned that she was still here, and glanced at the clock in her phone to confirm that she had, in fact, been asleep for a few hours. And yet, here she lay after everything. Her anxiety attack at the cafĂ©, her glower from the doorway, her attempt to drown Octavia out with alcohol, and finally her outburst at her own insecurities. But the mare didn't run. The mare didn't yell at Vinyl, trying to guilt her into changing her self-destructive lifestyle. Instead, Octavia just... listened. And stayed. And went out of her way to be there for a mare she knew next to nothing about, because that's the kind of pony Octavia was proving herself to be: a pony who put others before herself. The realization hit Vinyl like a bag of bricks, none heavier than the bricks of shame and guilt that pelted her square in the jaw and forehead as she realized how selfish she was being by letting Octavia only get so far before slamming the metaphorical door in her face. It wasn't something she had planned, it was just something that... just happened. Octavia wasn't like any of the mares or stallions who had ever made it past her front door. She wasn't loud, she wasn't horny, she certainly wasn't drunk or tweaked in any capacity, and she didn't have a one track mind that spelled disaster if she didn't get her way. Octavia was quiet, caring, and shifted herself to the sidelines for Vinyl when even the unicorn herself didn't know it was what she needed. It reminded her of Neon, and Vinyl found it refreshing to simply be truly cared for. Shame she's probably into stallions. the voice chuckled. For once, it wasn't dripping in obvious malice. No, the voice let its words sink in for a moment, to let Vinyl mull over the thought that she was out of luck due to something she'd never have the power to change. Vinyl almost wished for a different, more direct attack. The voice fell silent once more, content with the state it was leaving the unicorn in as she turned her back to the sleeping mare and let her eyes drift across the neglected turntable shoved into the corner. It was her first turntable. Really, one of the first ever produced, and zebra advancements in technomagical hybrids had come so far in just five years that what once took up the space of a bed now easily fit into a suitcase. Still, there was something about the old school style that Vinyl couldn't help but admire. She carefully rolled out of bed and cast a wary glance back towards Octavia to make sure she hadn't woken the mare before her hoof found itself gliding against the smooth black metal. Vinyl smiled a soft little smile as she idly rubbed a hoof along the mat, imagining herself in the club where she belonged and spinning a silent track. It was a good time, some of her first gigs - probably the best days of her life up until she made the mistake of partying a little too hard, taking a step too far, and falling much too deep into a hole she thought she had closed years ago. Vinyl retracted her hoof and let her eyes wander further up the turntable, where a stack of notebooks sat slumped in the corner. Her art project. Her little rude hoof pointed in spite out at the world as she dared to capture what light she knew existed despite having lived through the dark. Weeks were spent sketching her subject just right, and a few more days were spent coloring and shading the life into those pages. She could have taken a picture for reference, but it somehow felt less sincere to her; less real. Too easy. And, as Neon had always told her: "nothing in life worth having comes easily." She swallowed the lump in her throat as her mind wandered back into the dark, casting doubts throughout the unicorn's mind as she feebly wondered what changed in her, but she already knew the answer: the pent up fears and resentment towards her family and her life were never vented, never resolved. She turned down the same path her father had to hide his pain and dug the very hole that his daughter would soon find herself trapped in as she shoved her friends away as a result of her pride. She suppressed a sigh as she closed the notebook she hadn't even realized she had been looking at, casting the unfinished sketch of a unicorn sitting awkwardly on a bench with a broad smile on her face into darkness once more. She was at peace, while Vinyl was struggling. Turning back towards the mare and quietly climbing back into her own bed, Vinyl's eyes traversed the soft gray landscape of the earth pony beside her and the peaceful smile on her lips as she slept; nothing but the gentle rise and fall of her side as she faced the unicorn betraying her life. Shame she's probably into stallions. Vinyl thought, echoing the words of the stallion in her mind as she closed her eyes. Shame I'd probably just hurt her even if she did like me... Still, as much as Vinyl feared letting another pony get too close to her, she couldn't help but smile a tiny, wanting smile as dreams of the two simply talking happily invaded her mind. Walking, dancing, studying... Kissing... Vinyl drifted off to sleep with a warm smile plastered on her face for once in a long time. And, with a start, she was back in the present day as her ringtone of "You Know" blared beside her head. It was the slow, bumpy ringtone that warmed her up for wild dancing, but she knew all too well that it was also the same song she applied to any of her work contacts. "Scratch, it's fifteen minutes until opening!" a gruff stallion warned, clearly on edge at the fact that his DJ wasn't even there. The unicorn's eyes shot open wide as she scrambled to her hooves and threw her belongings into her saddlebag in such a rush that she hadn't even realized she still had the little pink bow tie on a simple white lace still tied around her hoof as she bolted out the door. "Gardens of the Everfree?" Octavia began in bewilderment. "How in Equestria did you manage to get a reservation on such short notice?" Royal Riff gave a polite chuckle at his date's amazement as the stallion held the door open for her, and Octavia was nearly blown back by an overload of her senses. The lighting was polite and neutral, yet cast beams down on expertly placed pillars of marble that appeared to glow a celestial white as a result. The sound of the house musicians glided through the air as though it was flown by microscopic pegasi themselves, and Octavia felt a relaxing calm overtake her as she began to pick the telltale sounds of a violin and a piano in their midst. But neither of those senses could put a scratch past the smells that attacked Octavia's nostrils in such brevity that she almost mistook this establishment as that of a lower end food chain. Before she could voice her concern or immediate displeasure, however, the scents continued their assault and bombarded the poor gray mare with dashes of spice, hints of fruit, pinches of fresh greens, and tantalizingly tiny tastes of Tanzlbulb - an ingredient so rare that it was almost thought extinct for the last two centuries before an explorer reintroduced the world to its confusing but delicious scent of fried onions yet intoxicating taste of gooey fruit. Octavia felt the slightest bit of drool pooling in her mouth as it threatened to spill out over her lip, and she swallowed without haste as Royal Riff stepped through the door behind her. "An easy feat when your uncle is the owner of the entire franchise." he admitted, with a smile. "Your family owns Gardens of the Everfree?!" Octavia whispered in absolute shock; her eyes wider than they'd ever been in her life and causing her date to stifle another chuckle. "Indeed. I thought it would be nice to surprise you with that and it would seem I was right." he teased as he gave a cheery, respectful nod at the usher before the two were led to their table in the center of the restaurant, right before the stage where Octavia could confirm her guess of the violin and piano being played in a calm, slow harmony. "I... I am not sure what to say." Octavia admitted, sheepishly, as Royal Riff pulled her chair back to seat her. "Nothing needs to be said, Octavia." he replied with that confident smirk as he took his own seat across from her. "Simply enjoy tonight, that is my only request of you." Octavia gave a respectful smile at the stallion before her as a pair of menus were carefully placed on the table. But, while Royal Riff apparently already knew what he wanted for tonight, Octavia found her eyes wandering over the elegantly crafted letters that detailed everything from appetizers to desserts as flashes of a pencil wiggling in blue magic danced through her head. She knew what the stallion across from her was after; how could she not after such a bold act? Inviting her to dinner the day after they met, to a restaurant such as this and going so far as to flaunt his connections by revealing that his family owned the business? It was as obvious as that knowing grin on his face, and part of Octavia hated him for it. Deep down, she knew this was all an act, simply the motions of a game being played with her as the willing pawn - a dance done for show, rather than enjoyment. It was the very life that Octavia hated, the very life that trapped and strangled her all those years, the very life that prevented her from expressing herself and making friends who cared more about her as a pony than her family name. The very life her mother had groomed her into. But was it truly all that bad? Was sacrificing her personal life for greater success something to hate her mother over? After all, Octavia had never truly had a friendship or somepony who wasn't expected to care for her yet still did. There were no suitors there on their own will, always pushed by their parents at a ploy to integrate into a more wealthy family. There were no friends seeking to know the real Octavia, only those wishing for the prestige of knowing the daughter of the famous Mezzo Piano or seeing the inside of their rather quiet mansion. Likewise, there were no tears over a fight with a friend, no depressive slump from a coltfriend breaking up with her. Could she truly be so angry over missing something she didn't even know the feeling of? The only references she could build her grand dreams of friends and lovers off of were movies and books, always fiction and always designed to strike at the heart of the viewer in all the right ways. Was what Octavia wanted even attainable, even right to expect from another pony? Or were her expectations too high, and would she be making a foalish choice by turning Royal Riff down? "And for you, Miss Octavia?" the waitress spoke, quietly and respectful, with a polite smile on her face. "The Salade poĂȘlĂ©e numĂ©ro deux with a side of Tanzlbulb, please." she requested without missing a beat as she folded her menu closed and set it before the waitress, who departed with them after a respectful bow. "Refined and simple on one hoof, but adventurous and exciting on the side." Royal Riff stated, humor dripping in his voice. "You are an interesting mare, Octavia." "I simply see no point in restricting myself in life. There is so much to see and do, Riff." Octavia admitted with a playful tilt of her head. Royal Riff simply maintained his smile and gave a nod in agreement as the waitress disappeared around a corner and out of sight. "Do tell me, Octavia, what brings you to the University of Fillydelphia?" he asked as he took a careful sip of his water; eyes gently gliding over Octavia's' sharp purple. "Establishing myself as my own mare and the like. Seeking to understand how the world works." Octavia replied, as she matched the stallion's gaze. "Music has always been my passion, ever since I was a little filly, but there is still so much to learn and so much to experiment with, so it is only fitting that I continue my studies into my instrument in my musical theory class." "How humble of you!" Royal Riff smiled a genuine smile as he set his glass down. "I must say, I knew you were a talented musician, but it is unfortunately all too common to see those aspiring ponies foalishly feel as though they have learned everything there is about their instrument after only a few short years." "Ah, so you're familiar with my family, then." Octavia pressed, taking a shallow breath to suppress her distaste. "Indeed but, that is not what I meant as I know you wish to distance yourself from them. Forgive me for the comment, I simply wished to highlight your talents." Royal Riff apologized, and Octavia gave a sudden blink as she realized where her mind was going. Stupid, stupid pony! she berated herself, slightly ashamed for how she had tried to railroad the conversation into negativity. This was supposed to be a happy night! "I'm sorry." Octavia admitted, ignoring the slight shock that came from the stallion's eyes as she began. "The mention of my family is simply... touchy, right now." Is he really shocked that I apologized? Octavia wondered, briefly, before Riff cleared his throat and recomposed himself. "The blame is all mine, Octavia." he insisted, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. "What else brings you to such an esteemed university?" "Musical theater has always been something that has captivated me and, had I not grown up with a cello in my hooves, part of me wonders if I would have made a name for myself in acting." Octavia laughed in an effort to shake herself of negativity. "There is also psychology, business management, and, of course, classical literature." "I am all too aware of the feeling of being forced into something you're not." Royal Riff offered with a sad nod. "Though I love my saxophone, I can always find the time to put a pencil to paper and write a short story. Excellent ones, if I dare say." "Really? And what does a stallion who has it all write about?" Octavia smiled warmly as she cocked her head. "Oh, well, foalish things of course." he chuckled, nervously, as he cast a glance towards the mare in hopes that she would simply let the topic be. When Octavia held her polite gaze and comforting smile, the stallion relented. "Things like romance, true love and all that." "Why do you think true love is a foalish thing to write about?" Octavia asked, neutrally. "I, for one, simply adored any romance novel I could get my hooves on when I was younger. I still enjoy them, from time to time, but my tastes have certainly become more... realistic." "I do not think any love is a foalish thing to write about." he explained, continuing that nervous chuckle as he straightened himself in his seat. "It is simply... Complicated, Octavia." Octavia gave a respectful nod of her head, a silent agreement not to press the issue any further, and the pair sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes with the stallion casting his eyes everywhere except the mare before him until their food arrived. "This is quite lovely." Octavia piped up as she deeply inhaled the enticing scent of her meal; slightly seared tomatoes topped olive-oil-kissed greens while sprinkles of shredded egg whites and Bleu de Gex litered the edges. A dollop of FĂĄncee dressing lazily dripped off of a leaf and onto another as Octavia opened her eyes once more to see Royal Riff avoiding her gaze but struggling to regain his confident smile. "Are you alright, Riff?" she asked, carefully, as she maneuvered her hoof around the fork to begin her meal. When her date made no response, or any indication that he had even heard her, she reached a hoof out towards his but he shied away before clearing his throat. His smile returned once more, but something hidden behind his eyes told Octavia that he was pushing back a private thought; setting up an image he was expected to maintain. She had seen the look all to many times before in far too many ponies, but present company forced her to adopt a similar nature as the pair simply ate in respectful silence. She would make it a point to try and help him through his problem in a quieter environment. "Fillies and colts, I hope you're all ready to die-" the robotic voice with a custom buzz-fade at the end of each word calmly threatened. "Because I'm going to kill everypony!" Before fans who knew what was coming could cheer, the robotic voice that DJ-Pon3 used to address her crowd faded as a steady beat began to grow; its bass blown over the lyrics as not to kill the bumping mood as ponies began to bounce in time with the beat. With the crowd thoroughly losing itself in the music, DJ-Pon3 let out a wide grin as she bobbed her head and focused her eyes into the swarming sea of ponies, breaking concentration only for a few moments here and there to scratch a disk or produce another foreign sound that added her own personal taste to the music. These were her ponies. The friends and family she never had, those ponies who didn't care who she was when they were too drunk to see straight, or too tweaked to even notice her. On stage, she was an idol to them. A few hours in, however, and she set the track on a loop and stepped down from her podium to become a ghost within the ocean of bouncing flesh and fur; masquerading behind technicolor lights. "Hey there, sexy." a jet black stallion with a white mane shouted with a flirty tone over the music as he bounced his way closer to Vinyl. She couldn't hear him at all, of course, through the music nor her headset that protected her ears. But she could read lips like no one's business and, as the stallion stood before her, he spoke once more. "You're DJ-Pon3, right? The mare on stage?" Vinyl rolled her eyes, unseen behind her shades that expertly deflected glancing beams of green and blue, but nodded her head nonetheless. "Stormy Skies, nice to meet you." he announced, flaring his previously unseen wings in an attempt to show off, but the effect was lost on the mare occupied with losing herself to the music. "I hear you've got quite a reputation around these parts." Vinyl tilted her head, quizzically, with skepticism in her hidden eyes. "Oh, just the usual. You're a pretty big party mare; struggling DJ just looking for a good time." the stallion continued. "Doesn't matter who helps you feel good or, sometimes, what makes you feel good if you catch my drift?" Vinyl began to dance a little slower as she began to study the stallion as best as she could in the erratic lighting. He was slightly taller than her, and his wingspan was definitely impressive; no doubt that he was a frequent strenuous flier rather than just a simple pegasus. Sky guard, maybe? Vinyl idly thought to herself. "I was just wondering if you'd like to have a little more fun than usual, tonight." he continued, turning his head into a wing and shifting some feathers to the side to reveal little plastic bags that Vinyl was all too familiar with. "Five bits, if you're interested." Vinyl's eyes narrowed for many reasons, one of which was that acid was incredibly cheap in these parts, and she was well known enough in giving back to that community that it was rare when somepony tried to charge her for a trip. Another reason was because the stallion wasn't dancing as wildly as the others - in fact, Vinyl realized he was simply bobbing back and forth, and often fell out of beat for a few bumps. A cop? she asked herself. He certainly had the body for it and, now that Vinyl was looking more closely, it was hard to imagine the stallion doing anything except strenuous patrols and the occasional chase. And maybe a couple of romps here and there... Vinyl weighed the situation in her mind as her track hit the halfway point. If he was a cop, and she got busted, it'd be a year at most and a hefty fine that would dig into savings she no longer had. If he wasn't a cop, she got an even better night. Simple solution, put him to the test. Vinyl concluded as she stopped dancing and flicked her head to the side, beckoning the stallion to follow her as she bumped hooves with a bouncer who guarded a door to the private rooms in the back. And maybe I get a better night, anyway. "So, given your stature, I figure you're going to want more than one. I can do a discount on a bulk order, and drop it down to-" the stallion began after the door had been closed behind him, but the words never left his mouth as Vinyl firmly planted her lips against his and parted the pair to snake her tongue into the stallion's maw. He stumbled back a bit, but didn't break the kiss, and soon found himself playing with the unicorn's tongue as he bent his head down to kiss the smaller mare. It lasted less than half a minute before the kiss snapped as Vinyl pulled back, leaving a trail of saliva connecting the two for only a few centimeters before it, too, broke. The stallion didn't have a chance to catch his breath as Vinyl floated a notebook before his eyes: Ten minutes until the loop runs out. Stormy Skies cracked a shit eating grin as the notebook set itself on a table to reveal Vinyl Scratch in all her natural glory: her shades were off, revealing her gentle magenta eyes that silently thanked Celestia that these rooms were purposefully dimmed, and her headset flopped onto the floor with a practiced flick of her head. Her hind hooves were spread while her forehooves were pressed together tightly against her chest as she lay with her back pressed into the couch - beckoning the stallion to prove he wasn't a cop. Vinyl's fears began to resolve themselves as the stallion trotted towards her perhaps a little too eagerly, before his snout slowly brushed against hers as he made a play for her neck and earned himself a sharp gasp from the unicorn as he nipped at her. Vinyl wished her worries could fade completely so that she could simply enjoy the refreshing experience, but foreplay didn't prove anything to her; if she wanted to figure this stallion out, they'd need to go the distance, and Vinyl found herself panting into his ear as she pulled his head closer and grinded herself into the stallions crotch. It was already throbbing for her as she slowly humped her marehood against his penis, hiding her irritated scrunch as she found skin catching against each other; telling Vinyl that she wasn't as wet as she thought she was. Stupid body, work with me here! Vinyl commanded as the stallion pulled his head back a bit to address the panting mare below him. "Condoms?" he asked, simply, and Vinyl mentally slapped herself upside the head before her magic reached for a bundle stuffed into the cupholders of the couch. What's with me, tonight? Vinyl worried as she watched the stallion tear open a package. I'm getting way too sloppy; could have fucked up big time if it weren't for him... As the stallion rolled the condom over his eager meat, Vinyl seemed to stare right through him as she sighed to herself. She wasn't normally this reckless nor did it typically take more than a rough bite to excite her, yet here she was nearly bone dry with a stallion just ripe for the picking and she could think of a hundred other places she'd rather be. This was unlike her and, in the few moments it would take the stallion to finish putting on the condom, Vinyl sifted through her feelings for some kind of answer. He was a stallion, she was a mare. He offered her drugs, she needed to make sure he wasn't a cop. Cops wouldn't fuck her, and this was a test Vinyl had happily preformed dozens of times before. She was no stranger to love making; there was nothing more than an agreement between two ponies seeking the same thing: a simple bout of pleasure to distract themselves from their pain. It was mutual, and Vinyl felt she needed a soft reset right now more than anything. Then why can't I get into this? she wondered as she studied the stallion once more. He was a pegasus, and a good looking one at that. Simple colors, but the contrast appealed to her artistic eyes, and his muscles were toned no doubt due to thousands of flight hours. He was attractive, undoubtedly, and Vinyl could easily imagine spending a night with him. Then why don't I want to fuck him? "Sorry about the wait. Now, where were we?" the stallion confidently teased as he approached once more; solid meat swinging hypnotically between his hind legs before he bumped his nose against the white of Vinyl's cheek and planted a gentle kiss. Vinyl resigned herself to the night and the stallion pressed against her, electing to figure out her own feelings later as she tried her best to simply enjoy the feeling of hooves carefully tracing every inch of her white fur. Maybe when he actually starts fucking me I can get into it. Before long, the stallion switched gears as he made a dash at Vinyl's neck once more while settling himself on top of her, eliciting a satisfying moan from the mare as teeth dug into fur and flesh. Vinyl found herself panting once more as she gripped his head, and gave a cute little shiver in anticipation as the head of his horsecock patiently pulsed against the lips of her vagina. He was teasing her, the bastard! But, before Vinyl could give an annoyed grunt that would have demanded him to continue, her throat erupted into a cracked gasp as he entered her. Vinyl's heart pounded in her chest as she clung to his face, letting him roughly nip at her neck again and again as he slowly pushed himself deeper inside the unicorn as adorable twitches and sharp moans erupted from her snout every few centimeters. And just as soon as he had pushed himself as far as he could go and leaving Vinyl a softly panting mess, he began to slide out at a faster pace. In, then out, in and out, this is what Vinyl had been waiting for! As the stallion's speed increased, so too did her heart beat while she lay pinned underneath the thrusting hunk of a flier, and her hooves kneaded and rubbed against every inch that she could reach. This is what vinyl was missing, this is what she had needed to calm her nerves and cool her senses, this!... Was doing nothing except spiking her heart rate. Vinyl squinted and suppressed an irritated groan that would have been lost in the stallion's grunts regardless as the two continued for a few minutes more, Vinyl counting down the seconds as best as she could while doing her best to at least appear interested as she strained to hear the music beyond the nearly soundproof walls of the private room; the music was her clock, a custom track she had spun many times before. She knew the exact second the first and the last bass dropped. Two minutes before the song would end, the stallion let out a pleased cry as he slammed himself against the DJ, and Vinyl herself even stifled a sharp moan as his medial ring slipped past her lips. He had came, no doubt, but the condom protecting her from another life-shattering mistake prevented her from feeling much of the warmth that was supposed to follow a passionate act. Stormy Skies panted gently as he lifted his black fur from her white and, with a smirk, pulled himself free. "Was it good for you?" Vinyl Scratch smiled and nodded her head in a tired lie. She hadn't even came, and the most infuriating part was that she didn't know why. Her mind had wandered to every subject except the one right in front of her, and it was so unlike her that the unicorn felt a little sick as the stallion pulled off the filled condom and tossed it into the tiny corner trashcan. "You know, that's a really cute bow tie." Stormy Skies noted as he tilted his head towards Vinyl's hoof, where the accessory in question remained firmly tied. "Would have been kinky if you wore it around your neck so I could have pulled it off. But, anyways, thanks for that. Ready to make a deal?" Vinyl's eyes darted towards her hoof as the pegasus brought attention to Octavia's bow tie, and the DJ scarcely heard a word the stallion uttered after her eyes had fixated themselves on that cute combination of pink and white. Vinyl felt as though she would throw up as she scanned the hoof, and a feeling of nausea and guilt washed over her before she thrust her spare hoof towards the door, not even bothering to look at the jet black pegasus. "Uh, is that a no?" he asked, with an inquisitive tilt of his head. The only answer was a more firm jab of her hoof, and the stallion snorted as he rolled his eyes on the way out; the moment of sound that poured into the room as the door opened told Vinyl she had less than thirty seconds before she needed to be back on stage. Is she why I couldn't get off? Vinyl thought with a scowl as she stood and did her best to hurriedly clean herself. Why the fuck is she stuck in my head? I barely even know her, for Celestia's sake! Vinyl growled to herself as she threw her glasses and headset back on before storming towards the door. I have a show to run. she told herself. I don't have time for a commitment. It's not safe for her if... I like her... Vinyl nearly stopped in her tracks as she picked up after the pause in her thought, and an uneasy feeling fluttered itself throughout the mare's stomach. Vinyl was saved from the terror of thinking as the end of the song rang out, and the door slammed shut as DJ-Pon3 returned to work. She would make it a point to talk to Neon about her thoughts. Author's Note Sorry for the lateness of this chapter, I'm just a piece of shit ayyy đ
Prologue"Octavia," her mother began, carefully weighing her next words as her daughter sat across from her while unicorn butlers elegantly brought out the next course of their meal. "Why in Equestria would you want to attend a public University when you know very well that I could simply hire the most educated private tutors to teach you whatever you wanted to know?" "Mother," Octavia replied, softly, as she let the gentle insistence on her tongue wiggle its way into her mother's mind. "That is precisely the issue. If I am to be my own mare, I must stand on my own and in my own light; I cannot rely on your finances, forever, and am eager to cease living in your shadow." "There is nothing wrong with your mother taking care of you, sweet Octavia." her mother insisted as she waved a unicorn offering a fine wine away. "It is my duty as a parent, after all. What kind of mother would I be if I forced you out on your own before you were ready?" "Once again, you are completely oblivious to my point! I am ready! I am twenty years old, mother; other ponies have started creating their own paths, leading their own lives. You lean over me in everything I do." Octavia explained, respectfully pleading with her mother as to not cause a scene, despite being in her own home. "I want ponies to stop seeing you when they look at me." Mezzo Piano furrowed her brow as her head turned down, ever so slightly, to signify that her mother was deeply considering her daughters' words. "But what would you study?" she asked, not as a challenge, but to genuinely understand the inner machinations of Octavia's mind, as she had regrettably proven how she couldn't know everything about her daughter. Octavia's breath caught in her throat as her heart thumped in her chest. I didn't think I'd get this far! she thought, as she frantically searched her mind and sifted through what she actually enjoyed learning about, rather than what her mother had urged her to pursue. "Oh, um... classical music, of course; perhaps I can glean a new perspective on the art from those who have come into it from different paths." Mezzo simply stared at her daughter, as Octavia's mind racked itself. You vacuous mare! Octavia cursed herself. That was entirely too obvious! Think of things to show her you are serious about surviving on your own! "...And musical theater, psychology, and business management. If I am going to be managing my own affairs, I must have the proper skill set with which to do so." Octavia stated, intelligently. Mezzo quietly sighed as she considered the situation, only passively acknowledging that she had been too engrossed in the conversation to have touched her food. Now, it was too late. "I suppose there is no talking you out of this?" Octavia politely shook her head as she held an outward smile; a symbol of her resolve. Internally, however, the mare was hurling every polite obscenity at herself for daring to be so bold with her mother - it was unbecoming! Before Octavia could show outward signs of her fears, an understanding smile crept onto her mothers face as she gave a short nod. "You have grown into a lovely mare, Octavia. It fills me with great pride, to see that you stand so firmly for what you want. Very well, you have my permission, although I believe you have proven you no longer need it. Go and do something with your life." Elsewhere, in a musty, unkempt apartment, a white unicorn mare with an electric blue mane coughed and sputtered after vomiting more souvenirs from last nights' party into the toilet of her small bathroom. She spasmed, slightly, after the fact, and gingerly held her place on the floor, overlooking the only thing that had kept her apartment from becoming even more filthy. After a few moments, and with a quiet sigh of relief, the mare reached up and pulled down on the small lever, making the contents of last night's mistake the problem of someone else before struggling to her hooves and stumbling into the hallway; sliding against the cool wall for support as she made her way back to her room. The unicorn opened her door with a flash of her magic, careful to close her eyes lest she induce a headache, before she quickly stumbled to the bed and collapsed within the cool, crisp sheets with a pleased sigh. Taking a moment for herself to bath in the refreshing cold that flooded her room, the unicorn was brought back to her senses as her phone buzzed to life from atop her nightstand. With a groan, she levitated the device in her magic and floated it over to her face as she rolled onto her back to discover who had disturbed her peace. Did you make it home, Vinyl? From Neon Lights, received at 3:36 P.M. Fucking idiot. she cursed herself, as she unlocked her phone and sent a reply. Yeah. Thanks for checking up on me. Sent at 3:37 P.M. She tossed the phone to her side as she blankly stared up in thought, struggling to remember the events of last night. She remembered going to yet another party and getting lost in the bounce and haze of electronic music, letting her hooves take control as she let herself go. She remembered another party-goer challenging her to a drinking contest. Big mistake. Vinyl thought, rather bitterly despite the smirk on her face. For as popular as I am, ponies don't seem to listen to the rumors that I can drink more than any of them. She shifted her position to get comfortable, once more, as she swam through her memories. She remembered winning the contest, the stallion passed out not long after the eighth round. She went back to dancing, intentionally bumping other party-goers to clear herself a space as the music took her completely. She remembered someone edging their dance closer to her, practically yelling above the crowd just to be heard through Vinyl's protective headset and the music. She remembered grinning as she read the words from the mares' lips, nodding. The next moment, Vinyl was stepping back onto the dance floor as she let the papery feeling settle on her tongue. Before long, the lights blurred and blended, and the music destroyed her body and rebuilt it with each beat, granting her life and taking it away. Vinyl furrowed her brow as she struggled to remember anything after that. Had she drank more? Had she done something with somepony? How did she get home? She lifted her phone to her face, once more, and tapped the screen with her magic. What happened, last night? Sent at 4:02 P.M. I don't know, I had a gig on the other side of town. Since you don't remember, I'm going to assume that you had another acid trip before drinking yourself into a coma. From Neon Lights, received at 4:04 P.M. Vinyl huffed in frustration. This had become a regular occurrence for her, long before she and Neon Lights broke up; it was almost a ritual. Every time there was a lapse in her schedule, something that gave her more than a day of breathing room, she filled it with alcohol and drugs. Pausing to calm herself down, Vinyl turned her head to the side to look towards the far end of her room. Shoved into the corner, atop an old turntable that she had grown too attached to despite it no longer working, sat a stack of notebooks. Vinyl stared at them, longingly, as she mentally redrew each drawing contained within those pages; a flower beginning to blossom in the park, an elderly couple sharing a morning at the bus stop, a taxi cart idly waiting on the side of the street. Vinyl had drawn the heart of Fillydelphia in those notebooks, each little glimpse painstakingly sketched and colored as she sat, watching her piece for hours. Vinyl closed her eyes in an effort to stave off a wave of depression as she remembered what it was like, back then, when she was an aspiring musician who wasn't overtaken with stress and failure. What happened to us? Sent at 4:13 P.M. You turned to drugs for help more than you turned to your friends. Honestly, Vinyl, how long are you going to do this to yourself? Get out of your apartment and get out of your head. Find something that occupies the time you have in between your gigs so you stop destroying yourself. Go to school, do something with your life. From Neon Lights, received at 4:19 P.M.
First Day of School, part oneOctavia could barely contain her glee as she continued walking, her excitement being hidden by years of well-executed prim as she didn't allow herself even the slightest bounce in her step, or the minuscule crack of a smile. This is it! she thought, her mind having no layers with which to hide themselves. This is what it is like to live on my own, to be my own mare and in charge of my own life! This is so exciting, almost overwhelming! With great satisfaction, Octavia replayed the events of her first day once more, allowing herself to be swept up in her pride and excitement. Six in the morning, right on the mark, Octavia shot out of bed and began her routine: shower, brush teeth, eat breakfast, check the calendar for special and unplanned events. These actions had been ingrained within Octavia's memory for years as she disciplined herself as rigidly as she could in the hopes of pleasing her mother and those who surrounded her. Today, however, Octavia found no qualms in changing her routine, ever so slightly, with one exciting addition: double-check school bags. Books had been purchased in advance, finding no issue with money and musing that she may even prefer to keep these books after the semester, to reflect on and turn to if she ever found herself lost. Each thick square found a new home, nestled into the appropriately sized bag which appeared befitting for rather respectful mare: Classical Music Theory, its pages stuffed with Octavia's personal notes and sheet music, sat at the forefront of her left saddlebag, right up against her side. In the other bag, in an attempt to balance the weight and avoid a strain on her first day, Flourishing Economics and How to Apply Them sat nestled against her right flank. It was a large book that Octavia had found only slightly bothersome when it came time to fitting it within her bags. Returning to her left, almost posing as sisters, Acting for Musical Theater hugged the edge of her bag as it fought for the same space alongside a pouch of pencils and its sharpener. Finally, on her right, a yellow book simply titled Exploring Psychology found its home nestled in between the business book and a blank notebook. Octavia's life may have been rigid and strict, with clearly defined places for clearly defined things, but she brushed any concerns regarding her upbringing to the side as she took pride in the fact that this was her life, now. She was making her own decisions, choosing her own path, and discovering herself as she strode confidently out from beneath her mother's looming, overprotective shadow. Undoubtedly, Mezzo would call her daughter as soon as she was sure Octavia would be home in her singles dorm, but Octavia paid the worry no mind as she remained blissfully drunk in her own happiness, for once in her life. As she rounded the corner and came face-to-face with the humble looking wooden door, she breathed a calming breath to reset her mind on the right track before she pulled on the handle and proceeded into her last class of the day: Psychology. Vinyl stifled a yawn as she meandered down the crowded hallways of the Fillydelphia University, her powerful headphones blocking out almost all sound as a surprisingly quiet, bumpy tune rang into her head. Pausing a moment to scratch her nose and push her tinted glasses back up her nose, she sighed and shifted her weight to readjust the slumped saddlebag at her side. It was an older bag with a small hole in one of the bottom corners, and faded tan cloth gave it a rugged look while the rusted shoulder clasp told anyone who inspected it that Vinyl had never even attempted to adjust it for years as it hang rather low on the unicorn, who bobbed her head through the hallways with a frown on her face. This was a waste of time. she thought, bitterly. She recalled her first class, creative writing, and tasted bile on her tongue as she grew disappointed with how incredibly boring it had turned out to be, especially as she was forced to follow other, lame prompts rather than being able to write what her heart whispered. And a waste of money. she continued, not bothering to pause as she resorted to magic to straighten her shifting bag. She clenched her jaw and glared, unseen behind her glasses, as she remembered entering her modern musical theory class late and glowering at the ponies in her class whose faces brightened up and cheered as they recognized the signature purple shades and electric blue mane. Despite the money it brought in, Vinyl grew rather distasteful of her fame, especially in recent years, as it caused her a great deal of stress a she fought to stay above the pressure to perform, to always be on top of the hit singles charts. It caused her strife in her personal life, as she found many ponies she had once considered friends to only be interested in her for her newfound fame. With a pang of regret, her mind instantly rushed towards Neon Lights; he seemed to be the only one in her life who actually saw Vinyl for Vinyl, and his own venture into the business helped her bond with him as the two became closer and closer. They had flings, on and off, until Neon finally pressed for a more serious relationship. Of course, Vinyl jumped at the chance to share herself with someone who actually cared, but circumstances proved fatal to their relationship as Vinyl fought to compete with a rising star who ended up surpassing her. She easily fell back into a slump she had worked so hard to climb out of, turning back to alcohol and her party drugs as she let fears of constant failure and inadequacy plague her mind. In the end, she and Neon Lights split on friendly terms, and the two had remained close, but Vinyl doubted ever truly getting back together with him, let alone allowing someone else into her life. Can't stand breaking another stallion's heart because I'm too weak to change. she thought, bitterly. She pulled herself from her dead end thoughts and tried to focus on the present, instead of the past, as she used her magic to pull open the door to her final class: Psychology. "Good evening, class, and welcome to psychology eleven-oh-one." the pegasus stallion began, taking a commanding stance at the front of the room. "My name is Professor Steel-Shield, and I have to wonder how many of you really know what you're getting into, this semester." Military. Vinyl thought, as she studied the gray stallion from the back of the room. He had a large frame yet slender wings, and his buzzcut betrayed his age and background. With no hair to hide behind as Vinyl had, she could clearly see his steely-blue eyes as they scanned the classroom, like a dog determining the best cat to attack. "As opposed to some of the rest of your teachers, and believe me I've met them, I can assure you that this will not be a laid back class. Everything we do in this room has a painstakingly crafted purpose. There will be no idling, no sitting on your flanks twiddling your hooves, no excuse for not doing the work, and certainly no excuse for not asking questions." the stallion instructed. "You are here to learn, and I have been hired to teach you. Make no mistake; when you pass this class, and Celestia help me I will make you pass this class, you will look back on this day and say 'thank you, Professor Steel-Shield.' You will hate me, but you will learn to love me." Prick. Vinyl thought as the stallion paused in his speech. They let this guy teach? What, could he get no better job from the VA? Almost as if homing in on her sass and disrespect, the pegasus turned his stern eyes towards the white unicorn in the back row. "Miss Scratch, please remove your glasses." Vinyl blinked, as if she had been asleep, at the stallion's request. I can't take these off, the lights will kill me. she thought, as she pulled out her notebook and began scribbling a message to the teacher. "Miss Scratch." the stallion commanded, authoritatively, as he stormed to the back of the class to stand beside the mare. "Remove your glasses or I will remove you from my class. Eye contact is a matter of respect, and I will not stand for disrespect in this room." Vinyl floated the paper up to the professor, whose brow furrowed as he paused to read. "Unless you have a doctors note, I will still insist that you remove your glasses, as they are clearly not prescription. Additionally, I will not pass notes back and forth between us as though we are foals; you will speak to me like an adult or I will treat you like a child." Fucking prick. Vinyl thought, to herself, as she removed her glasses and winced at the blinding light that assaulted her strikingly magenta eyes. A pained gasp quietly escaped her lips as she turned her head downwards and quickly scribbled another short note to her teacher and floated it in his face before he had a chance to address this disrespect. The stallion paused for a moment to read the note, before his body betrayed an ever-so-slight startle of realization. "My mistake, Miss Scratch; that information was not in your student file. In light of this news, however, I am going to ask you to take a seat in the front of the class as it will allow me to better teach you, should you have any questions." the pegasus gave a short, apologetic nod, before walking back to the front of the class. Vinyl realized, with a sickened feeling in her stomach and a glare, that students were staring back at her as a result of the scene she had caused. Wincing through a newly formed headache, the unicorn stood up from her seat and silently stalked her way to the front of the room, where she took a seat beside a white earth pony mare with a short, blonde mane. Seemingly satisfied in being control of his own classroom, once more, Professor Steel-Shield continued with his opening address as Vinyl tuned him out. How the hell did I let Neon talk me into going to school? Vinyl moped. My classes are boring, my teachers are pricks, and it's costing me most of my savings just to come here to get even more pissed off. What I wouldn't give for some tequila right now... Her eyes already mostly closed for protection from the blinding fluorescence of the classroom lights, Vinyl found it easy just to close them a bit more as she found herself slipping back into her own mind at the thought of tequila. Hundreds of parties flashed through the unicorn's mind, thousands of bottles downed, millions of beats swayed to, hours of socialization among those who were only here to have a good time and couldn't walk straight enough to see that it was the DJ-Pon3 who was hanging out with them. Parties were one of the few things that helped Vinyl cope, and she felt at home in them. They were her element, where she was in charge of nearly every aspect. Vinyl found herself struggling to fight off the depressing realizations that, outside of those parties, she felt like nothing. Outside of destroying herself, she couldn't truly find a reason or a way to live, except for parties. Someone deeply cleared their throat just in front of her, and Vinyl cautiously opened her eyes, only to be greeted by the piercing gaze of a retired drill sergeant. "Miss Scratch, why did you sign up for my class?" To fix myself. Vinyl thought, for a split second, before scribbling a different answer on her paper. "You came to my class to learn how to be a better pony? Absolutely commendable, Miss Scratch." the pony announced, sarcastically. "You are truly setting a fantastic example of bettering yourself. Everypony, take notes on Miss Scratch: she comes to this class to be a better pony, yet here she is sleeping through my lecture on the very first day. Truly, an example to live up to. Move out of the way, Celestia, this is the pony who clearly knows what she wants out of life and isn't afraid to do what she must to get it." Octavia kept her composure as the professor verbally tore into the silent unicorn, who simply matched the intensity of his speech with the glare in her eyes, before he stepped back to the front of the class. She felt bad for the mare, who clearly appeared to have some condition, but ultimately decided that she had only brought the berating upon herself. "As I was saying," the stallion continued. "the final grade for this class will be determined by two scores: that of your final exam, and that of the class project. You will not pass unless you score a passing grade on your final, and at least a seventy-five percent on this class project." Professor Steel-Shield turned to give the white mare an accusative stare as he finished his sentence, before turning back to the class. "For those of you who missed, it, allow me to reiterate: your class project will be a semester-spanning attempt designed to force you to look at the life of another, and to understand how they got where they are, through their failings and victories. You all will be assigned a partner with whom you will meet and talk with every day that your schedule allows. You will get to know this pony, you will know their name, their favorite color, where their mother was born, what side of the bed they prefer to sleep on. This will be your unofficial best friend for the school year and, if you play your cards right, perhaps even the best friend you'll ever end up meeting." Octavia's eyes widened as her body betrayed her feelings of being impressed by the depths and purpose of this project, understanding the exact purpose for such an undertaking, given the nature of this class. She found herself admiring the intelligence of her teacher before he spoke up, once more. "Miss Scratch and Miss Philharmonica." Professor Steel-Shield announced. "Given both of your fame and conflicting personalities, you two are the first pair of partners." "E-Excuse me?" Octavia stuttered, her appearance of a calm and collected, sophisticated mare completely shattered in that moment as she fearfully turned her head to look at the white unicorn mare with a furrowed brow, who was eyeing the professor as though he was out to get her. "With all due respect, Professor Steel-Shield, may I request a different partner? Miss Scratch appears to have a lot on her hooves, at the moment, and my schedule scarcely allows time for such lengths of conversation." "Miss Philharmonica, are you instructing me on how to teach my own class?" Professor Steel-Shield accused, making the earth pony feel rather guilty. This was his class, after all. He had likely been carefully selected from a hoofful of other, highly recommended teachers. Of course I should trust his judgement; he likely knows far more than I ever will. she thought, mentally striking herself. "N-No, sir." Octavia stammered, regretting voicing her displeasure. Satisfied with putting down another unruly student, the professor continued assigning classmates together until the list had been depleted and the students were dismissed, with the white unicorn mare being the first out the door after she had hurriedly thrown her glasses back on, not waiting to meet with her partner as the other students were doing.
