Heart 𝄞Beats♫

Vinyl felt surprisingly disappointed as she pushed open the glass door to the rather small café. It was nearly empty, with much of its business being conducted in the day, but it still offered a home and a quiet place to study for those few students who remained, nestled in their corner booths with books spilling over the table.

She didn't know why she was so disappointed - she only lived three minutes away, and it was foalish to expect the mare to have beaten her here, already. As she took a window seat in a booth, a shadow spilled out across her table and Vinyl fished out her notebook and pencil from within her hoodie.

"What can I get for you, this evening?" the cream colored mare with a mocha brown mane calmly asked. Her voice was low and kind, careful not to disturb the peace for her other customers, as she held a little pad and pen at the ready in her magic. Vinyl scribbled her response as the mare patiently stood by, giving a small nod as she scribbled onto her own notepad and spun on her heels towards the service counter, leaving Vinyl to idly survey the café in a bide to pass the time.

It was an older shop, she could tell that even through all the remodeling over the years in an effort to keep up with the times. I wonder if the University came first or last. Vinyl thought, amusing herself with the story of an upstart business falling on hard times until the school came around, sending an influx of customers like clockwork and saving the family shop. She found herself smiling softly at the mare as she returned with a gently steaming coffee, which carefully set itself onto the table in front of her as the waitress gave a smile and nod, in return.

Vinyl took a breath to calm her nerves as she turned her attention to her cup, soon becoming lost in her own thoughts as the swirl of steam distracted her eyes. She wondered why she had come, although that downhill train of thought was quickly caught as Vinyl found sound reasoning in her desire to change. Anything is worth a shot. she mused, struggling to stave off the crippling thought of Yes, but how many times has that failed?

"Do those glasses allow you to see ghosts?" a friendly, teasing voice spoke up, a little too quiet and respectful for even this environment. Vinyl blinked to regain thoughts as she lifted her head to the side to take in the sight of the light gray mare who offered a small, if not awkward smile as she took a chair across the table. "Forgive me, I meant so in jest."

Vinyl mentally smacked herself as she realized the mare had been waiting for a response, only to receive silence from the unicorn who was lost in her own thoughts. Vinyl scribbled her words onto her notebook.

Sorry, I spaced out. she wrote.

"It is quite alright." the mare replied with an affirmative nod as the waitress returned to take the newcomer's order. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me, I can only imagine what annoyance I brought you at the end of our previous encounter."

It's fine, really. I forgot about it as soon as I got home. Vinyl lied in scribbles, pausing for a moment before continuing a line underneath. So, how do you want to do this?

Vinyl saw a hint of relief play itself out across the mare's lips as she read the first sentence, before she flicked her eyes up to meet Vinyl's in a respectful gaze. "Actually, I was wondering if you would like to lead this conversation. I have proven that I can be a bit... bossy, and I do not believe either of us appreciates that."

Vinyl twiddled her pencil around in the air as she considered the mare's words. Why can't I be more like her? a fleeting thought shot out across Vinyl's conscious. She admits her mistakes.

Vinyl's thoughts were spared a torrent of poor emotion as the returning waitress spoke up. "One daffodil sandwich with water for the lovely mare - what's the occasion, tonight? First date, or just friends?" she teased.

Vinyl didn't have a chance to react as Octavia beat her to the punch with an embarrassed squirm. "J-Just friends! Meeting for a school project!" she immediately blurted, louder than socially acceptable as a blush crossed her snout. "W-Why would you think we were...?"

The waitress gave an amused smile as she gave an apologetic nod. "My mistake - I've been servicing this café for the last twenty years and I like to think I've become rather good at reading my customers: a well groomed mare meeting another mare who hides behind her glasses and a hoodie at night? The gossip would be absolutely delicious!" the mare continued, eliciting no reaction from Vinyl as the white unicorn simply stared. "Of course, I've been wrong before. But, just in case I'm right, no need to fret, hun: there's a reason our city has filly in the name."

With a wink, the waitress turned herself back towards the kitchen and disappeared behind the swinging doors as Vinyl focused once more on the notebook in front of her.

What's your favorite color? she scribbled, catching a grateful glance from Octavia as Vinyl broke the ice.

"Pink." Octavia informed, flatly, as she motioned to the simple little bow tie that adorned her neck.

Cute. Your turn. Vinyl wrote, her face betraying no emotion.

In truth, she felt at ease, more than anything else; she had frequently been accosted by fans before, so she grew used to the brash nature of their words and requests, from autographs to confirming the latest gossip. Vinyl wasn't exactly well known for quiet sit-downs, and her sexual life earned her quite a reputation, so it stood to reason that if this waitress knew anything about her that she would think something deliciously scandalous was happening in her little café, and Vinyl found great comfort in Octavia's well-to-do politeness.

If she knows anything about me, Vinyl thought. I'm glad she's not showing it.

"What about your favorite color?" Octavia inquired, politely folding one hoof over the other as she refused to touch her food or drink.

Blue, like my mane. Vinyl scribbled. You alright? You're not eating.

"Oh, I assure you I am fine. It is considered rude to eat in front of one who has no food, but even more rude to order nothing when your guest has ordered something." Octavia informed with a curt nod as Vinyl raised an eyebrow.

Seems like it's designed to make you fail no matter what. she wrote. If you're hungry, eat. Nopony here cares about that.

Octavia opened her mouth as if to defend her teachings, but found herself soon agreeing as she closed her mouth and looked down at her food. She is right. Octavia admitted, regretfully, as she began to understand the entrapment of many of her teachings. This is not upper Fillydelphia, the rules are different and I do not wish to stand out...

As the gray mare began quietly chewing her sandwich, Vinyl continued on her notebook. You mentioned your mother, yesterday. What's she like?

"She is caring, as any mother, but perhaps too protective of me." Octavia explained after a small swallow of her meal. "When I was younger, she loomed over me and guided my every step. In some places I thank her, such as with my education, but in others it dawns on me just what I missed out on with her controlling my life."

I know how that feels. Vinyl wrote. Mom and dad basically tried to shut me in a box; they didn't let me do anything outside the house other than school, but they didn't try and do anything with me at home.

"That sounds positively horrible!" Octavia said as she expressed her concern by lowering her sandwich. "How did you manage it?"

Snuck out a lot. Vinyl wrote, simply. Started hanging out with crowds that I knew would piss my folks off. Of course, dad was too engrossed in his beers to really care, and mom was so wrapped around his hoof that I don't know how she survived afte-

Vinyl stopped her pencil dead in its tracks as she caught herself openly delving into territory she considered incredibly private. Why the fuck am I telling her that? the unicorn thought as she scratched out the words after "off". If Octavia had read what Vinyl wrote before she scratched it through, she betrayed her knowledge with only a sad, understanding look in her eyes as she began to change the subject.

"Perhaps I have been approaching this too boldly." she admitted. "How would you feel about this: rather than me pressuring you to open up, you ask me absolutely any question and I will answer it to the best of my abilities. No limits, and I must answer. In return, I will only ask simple questions such as what activities entertain you, and the like."

Vinyl found herself leaning back in the booth at the mare's offer. Any question, no limits? Vinyl repeated in confusion. Why would you do that?

"Because I have found that the best way to get to know someone is by opening yourself, completely, to them. Showing them exactly what you are made of, that there are no secrets or ill intentions." Octavia explained. "My mother told me that, if you can believe it."

Vinyl remained pressed back in her seat as she stared down at her notebook in thought, leaving Octavia to resume eating quietly. Vinyl was entirely lost when it came to ideas for questions - she could be incredibly invasive, showing no mercy as she pulled apart this poor mares life, or she could be so delicate that she practically ignored the offer and stuck with barely scratching the surface of either's history. In truth, part of Vinyl knew what this mare was up to: she wanted a friend in the city, someone to show her around and help her fit in. Vinyl's lips pursed as she remembered her night with Cherry Blast and how degraded she had felt, afterwards.

Still, Vinyl couldn't help but entertain the thought that this mare, even if she was simply at Vinyl for her own goals, could also be Vinyl's salvation - her freedom from the mess of her current life. If she could just open up to her, she may find someone who pushes her to do better. She may find a friend who didn't grow cold due to her own failures, like Neon had.

Vinyl's hopes were put to rest as she hastily scribbled her question. Why do you wear that stupid bow tie? Vinyl wrote, forcing herself to scratch out the insult as an afterthought.

Octavia paused for a moment after reading the question, her eyes growing dull as she relived some memory unknown to Vinyl before speaking up. "Because it reminds me of my father. What age are you?"

Nice going, idiot. Vinyl quietly berated herself as she took note of the mare's sad demeanor. She had overstepped herself in her effort to force this mare back, to not let her close enough to be hurt. You fucked up anyway. Bravo.

21. Vinyl wrote, the curve in her two waving elegantly in sharp contrast to the strikingly bold line of her one. I'm sorry. I'm not really good at talking to other ponies; my actions tend to tell everyone anything they need to know about me.

"And what do your actions say about you?" Octavia asked, sincerely, carefully watching her tone as to not sound accusatory and push Vinyl over the edge.

Memories of stumbling home drunk in the dead of night scurried their way across Vinyl's eyes. Throwing up in garbage cans, making out with mares and stallions she had never met before, occasionally stealing over priced things from a store... These were the actions that defined Vinyl's character, and presented her as a mare only looking out for herself, for her next big party, and the ever longing feeling of that papery goodness on her tongue.

That I want to change. Vinyl slowly wrote, after several moments of stillness. I'm going to school.

Octavia's worried, caring eyes soon brightened as she read the words etched into the notebook. "I think that is absolutely commendable, Miss Scratch. It is not an easy path to walk, let alone choose, and I can only imagine the difficulty one has in admitting their need to change."

Call me Vinyl. the unicorn scribbled, her insides tearing as she considered the mare's words.

She thinks you're commendable! Vinyl snorted in thought. She thinks you're strong enough to really fucking change who you are, deep down. For all that fancy education, she's an idiot - you're never going to change and you know it. Weakness runs in your blood.

"Vinyl," the mare began, with a smile, as her quiet voice pulled the unicorn from her thoughts with a little blink. "Why do you wear those glasses, everywhere?"

Vinyl hesitated as she placed the tip of her pencil to the paper. Was this it? The moment of truth Vinyl had been fighting with herself for? If she told this mare everything, maybe she could help her, get her to see that Vinyl knew she was destroying herself and that she felt hopeless to stop it. Or, maybe, Vinyl thought, swallowing her hope as she admitted defeat to the oppressive voice in her mind, once more. She'll see you as a filthy addict and turn her nose up in disgust.

Optical photo-sensitivity. Vinyl wrote, explaining only half the truth. Born that way, most lights hurt to look at.

Vinyl stared at her half lie with a sadness hidden by her tinted glasses. The full truth was that hefty acid use had left her body only a fraction of what she had once been. Nowadays, even something as simple as a porch light blinded her, anything above a speaking voice threatened to make her ears bleed, her concentration had been shot to the point where she found herself spacing out at nothing more than anything else, and her periodic insomnia and loss of hunger only served to make her irritable beyond all recognition which led to frequent fights - something she was all too happy to partake in.

This was who Vinyl was, now, and this is who she would be until she could take it no more before she would inevitably follow in her father's footsteps. Already doing that. Vinyl thought, bitterly, as she did her best to push a craving for liquor away.

"Vinyl?" the mare's voice spoke up, once again, to pull the unicorn out of her inner darkness and into the light. "Are you alright? I apologize if I encroached onto a sensitive subject."

I'm fine. she scribbled, lying to herself to ease the pain.

Octavia simply looked sadly into those reflective purple glasses, seeing her own reflection. The quiet, careful stare shared between them was only known by Vinyl, and that made the silence all the more painful before Octavia began to speak.

"I do not want to push you into an uncomfortable position, and I will leave if you so wish-" Octavia began, before Vinyl suddenly shifted in her seat.

No! Vinyl quickly jutted down as she interrupted the mare, only smacking herself after the fact for such an impulsive action; something she was all too familiar with.

"...but it is quite apparent that you are in great pain and likely being far too hard on yourself. I hate to see others in pain, let alone feel powerless to help them..." Octavia continued, her head turned down as if in shame.

Vinyl briefly wondered if she felt ashamed for not offering sooner, or if helping others was something snobby ponies looked down on.

"Can I help you, Vinyl? Is there anything I can do to ease your pain?"

Vinyl stared at the gray mare with her mouth slightly ajar, in shock. She's asking you if she can help...? Vinyl thought, as though such an act was foreign to her. It was as though this mare had stepped through a door into an alternate dimension and happily clashed with every expectation thrown at her. It was unreal.

Vinyl fought herself each step of the way as her pencil found itself gripped in her light blue magic, slowly rightening itself as it hovered over the paper. Within her mind, Vinyl was wracked with uncertainty, fear, a fleeting sense of hope, and found herself incredibly uneasy. Completely overcome with anxiety, Vinyl shuddered as her eyes widened and her dinner presented itself pouring over her notebook with a sickening sound of sludge in motion.

Before Octavia could blink, she was on her hooves and bolting out the door; scarcely paying attention to a pleading cry from the gray mare to wait.

"Vinyl, wait!" Octavia pleaded immediately after she had recovered from the shock of the unicorn vomiting before her. The next instant, she found herself setting a stack of bits to cover both meals on the table as the waitress emerged from the back with a perplexed look on her face as Octavia bolted after her friend. "I am terribly sorry, Miss!"

Octavia hardly concerned herself with her appearance as an unruly mare as the door slammed outward in her haste. Few ponies were around, and she found herself no longer caring what others thought of her as she surveyed the street for any signs of a fleeing white mare. She spotted her friend not a moment too soon, as the unicorn bolted into a building further down the street, away from the University.

"Vinyl, please wait!" she found herself yelling, too late as the mare disappeared through the double doors. It didn't take long for Octavia to reach them, as well, and she eagerly pushed her way through to discover a tidy little lobby with a sign above the curved desk that sat in the center of the room: Turtledove Apartments.

Regaining her composure despite the older looking receptionist not even casting a glance in her direction, Octavia cleared her throat and let her face settle into a neutral demeanor as she approached.

"Pardon me, Miss." Octavia began, respectfully, as the gray-maned mare lifted her head from her computer. "Does a Vinyl Scratch live here?"

The mare returned to her computer, typing a few buttons as the light changed on her face. "Room fifty-two, east end of the building." the mare informed her, boredly, before returning completely to her work.

Octavia found the room rather easily, it being the last door on the left, and raised her hoof to knock on the dark wooden door with resounding force - polite, yet commanding.

"Vinyl? This is Octavia." she began, pressing her snout against the door. "I apologize for pressing too far, I should have known to leave well enough alone and to respect your boundaries."

Silence from beyond the door made Octavia wonder if she was even being heard, of if the mare had her head under a pillow, shutting the world out.

Octavia sighed, sadly, as she sat before the door and thought of what to say. "I did not mean to upset you, I only meant to offer you my help if you so wished it. I did not want you to feel as though you were forced to accept it. I..." Octavia felt her forehead press into the door as tears welled up in her eyes.

Congratulations, you stupid pony. Octavia thought. You have gone and sullied the best chance you had at a friendship, even worse you hurt this poor mare enough that she is hiding in her own home probably sobbing her heart out. At once, everything came pouring out of Octavia as her composure was utterly destroyed in the lonely hallway.

"I... I'm sorry, Vinyl. Ever since I was a little filly, I was forced to live a life that I didn't want, forced to be somepony I wasn't." Octavia cried. "I could never bring myself to argue against my mother, to tell her what I was feeling. She would have scolded me and brushed off my desires as childish and insisted that I was too young to know what I wanted, to know how the world worked."

Octavia paused and tried to catch her breath through her nose, to no avail. "But I know who I am, and I know what I want! It's just.. so very difficult to break out of this mold my mother poured me into. All my life, I've been expected to act, speak, and think a certain way and I've hated it! But I could never learn any better until..."

Octavia paused and caught her breath with a large inhale as memories of her seventeenth birthday came flooding back to her. She had played her cello, a new opening piece of her own writing, as a closing to her party-goers; a short thank you for their attendance. Sapphire Shoes, a young pony whose life had been captivated by opera and whom Octavia had come to respect called her performance "Not bad" with a smile and a wink. It was a light hearted comment, meant as a compliment, but Octavia's sheltered life had forced her into rigid expectations when it came to praise. Ponies were supposed to critique the work of others, to praise its success with lavish descriptions and compliments. Octavia had simply never expected someone to critique her work in such a downplayed manner. She told all of this to Vinyl, or perhaps Vinyl's empty room, as tears dripped down her cheeks and coated her right hoof from periodic wiping.

She hadn't wanted to hurt this pony, she hadn't meant to appear so abrasive. She only wanted to help, and now she hoped that she could explain her failures away so that Vinyl would rush out and forgive her. All she wanted was-

Click.

Octavia raised her head to eye the knob with hopeful eyes as she processed the sound that had almost certainly come from the lock. A moment after, she steadied herself as the door cracked open just enough for Octavia to see a tired looking red eye peering out from a pitch black apartment, floating a torn sheet of paper out into the hallway.

You used a contraction. it said, as Vinyl cast a raised brow at the mare.

"I... What?" Octavia stammered in confusion as she wiped away the rest of her tears.

You've never used a single contraction in the entire time I've heard you speak. Vinyl wrote.

Octavia sat, speechless, as she stared into those wincing red eyes. It was true, she had never used a contraction, before; it was considered improper and made her seem uneducated. Yet here she was, bawling at the door of a pony she had only met three days ago, falling to pieces. And those eyes...

Vinyl pulled the note back into her home as the door swung open all the way and the unicorn took a step back, begrudgingly flicking her head to the side as if to invite her in.