Fuck, I slept good. Okay, objectives?

[Shit To Do]
[1]
[2]
[3]
[Todays Shit To Do]
[Eat]
[Drink]
[Probably Save Canterlot]
[Hopefully Get Royally Laid]

....FUCK!!!! Well.....

*Later*

*Tchoo, Tchoo, Tchoo, Tchoo, Tchoo, Click* "Fuck" *TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH TCH* "Finally! I have a few questions. One. How the fuck did they capture you?"

*Growl* Wow. How prideful is Daybreaker? She's Blueblood Mk2 or some shit.

"What my sister meant to say, was that they snuck behind the throne, and forced a magic inhibitor ring over our horns." Huh. At least Nightmare's helpful.

"Huh. Your guards are still a fuckin' disappointment. You'd think they'd be even slightly competent. Anyway, are you 2 okay?"

"Yes." Daybreaker's probably not. But she's a prideful bitch.

"Yes." Same thing. "How did you get here?" Fuck me. Hopefully Daybreaker.

"So....."

*Earlier*

*Changeling transforming sounds* "Hello. I'm here to kill you and your friends."

"Oh, okay." Fuck, I'm sly. "Wait, wha-" He couldn't finish the sentence. Side effect of gauntlet blades through the throat. So is blood spatter. Oh shit.

"Get him!" Nope. "Where the fuck are you?!" As if I'll answer. After moving through the castle, which took an hour due to the fact the castles a fucking maze. Also had to kill shit. Details. Anyway, I get to the throne room. Opening it, I see Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon tied-up? Eh, fuck it.

"Do you want to taste metal?"

"No."

"Too fucking bad." I showed mercy, feeding him one bullet. Everyone else, well you know. So, as I finished my tale, I was knighted twice. Yeah, I'm now Sir Sir Sir Moral Sword. My rank is higher than a prince. I'm literally a co-worker to Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon. Let's check my progress.

[Getting Laid Progress Estimation]
[1]
[2]
[3]
[Estimation]
[50 Percent]

Ehh, could be better. I'm not even going to describe Canterlot Castle. Oh, yeah, I'm now supposed to organize a meeting between the King and Osiris's royalty. Annnnnd.... "Sir Sword! You have a letter." Noble #226 (Yes that's his actual fucking name.) Handed me a scroll:

Dear Sir Sir Sir Moral Sword:

The Diamond Dogs are launching an attack against Wall Section 1745. Please defend it.
You'll love your reward.

So, I just need to kill slavers to get royally laid? Great. So after dinner, I get ready to go. But of course, I have limited ammo. I could make more, but why should I do that when I can just have others to help me? So I write out some forms and pin them to some shit as a job application. This'll be fun.

Author's Note

OC job application:
-Cannot be an alicorn
-No weapons (I'll arm them)
-You might have to adapt their backstory (You need to provide one.)
-Of course, describe what they look like, their personality, and cutie-mark (Providing an image would help)
-Use the Private Message system for this, but the comments will work.