Zarram's Nightmare in Equestria

by BrendanandJohn

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure
Length: 6636

After getting tricked by his nemesis, Zarram finds himself in a land he's not quite accustomed to

Terrified in a land filled with multi-colored ponies, an Undead Mage, by the name of Zarram, attempts to get back home.Will he get back home and learn a thing or two in the process? Read and find out... You know, if this dangerously generic description doesn't scare you away first...

But hey, at least someone shut the inter-dimensional door, right?

*Seeing as Zarram is technically undead, I find it hard to classify this as a traditional "Human In Equestria" fiction. However, since he was once alive as a human, and apparently the demographic for Undead in Equestria fics seem to be small, this WILL be classified as a HIE Fic... just hope it's not too generic*

And yes, everything that you guys know doesn't have to do with MLP:FIM and seems alien to you is probably mine. Yup, I created Zarram, Dreadnorr and everything else, only using minor references and "Easter Eggs" to other sources such as games, books, movies, and all that good stuff. Since my original series is still incomplete, and not very known, I cannot, in all good conscious, call this a crossover

Also, if anyone feels this should have a "Dark" tag, just tell me and I'll see if I can change it

Picture coming soon, need to learn to draw ponies...*

Big thanks to NATOstrike for helping me edit some stuff.

Published 2012-07-30 22:34:06 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-07 16:13:12 UTC

Zarram the Stalker

Author's notes:

Sorry this took like a month to make and only for a thousand words. The chapter itself only took me a day, but I've been caught up with stuff. I'm going to try these shorter chapters to see if it'll make me post more, but I'm not going to try to make them short on purpose. I try to make each chapter and after the characters leave a given area, this time being some one's house.

I'm also still looking for criticism. Tell me what you guys think about shorter chapters. Would you like them, or would you have wanted this chapter to extend into another area?

But above all else, enjoy...
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The lush grass rustled beneath Zarram's feet as he cautiously made his way to the mysterious cottage, taking note of it's unique architecture as he approached. The whole design struck him as something beautiful if not a little too small, with the front door handle being at about waist level and the door frame only allowing him passage if he slouched over. With a few knocks on the door, Zarram hoped to attract the attention of the resident, instead, however, he attracted the attention of the small yellow horse.

Noticing the horse, he turned to it to discover that it was quite frightened, and in an attempt to calm it down tried talking to it with a friendly voice. "Hey there!" He smiled and continued "You're rather adorable, you know that?"

The horse backed up, staring at Zarram with it's mouth agape, while the small white rabbit ran behind the house.

"No, don't be afraid, I'm just here to see your owner, that's all. I'm lost" He smiled widely and innocently at the disturbed creature, revealing razor sharp teeth from cheek to cheek.

The visage sent the yellow pony into a panic, causing it to run away frantically as a squealing noise emitted from it's mouth.

Still smiling, Zarram stared at it as it ran away "Horses don't make that noise where I come from... I'm scared." Turning his attention back to the door he yelled out asking if anyone was home while pushing up against the door lightly, opening slightly as his body touched it. Without much regard to the owner's personal space or privacy, he opened up the door fully and waltzed on in.

Taking a look around, Zarram soaked in the atmosphere of the cottage's interior. The walls were cream colored with an autumn red vine design on them. The door frames had pink heart and butterfly designs, while the window shutters had a brownish leave design. There were bookshelves lining the room as well, all filled with books about; nature, taking care of animals, healing in the form of a tree, and all that stuff. Other details included a couch, flower pots, and a dog bed on the ground, but nothing in the room seemed out of the ordinary.

Zarram walked over to the circular window on the opposite side of the room, staring out of it once he had reached it, looking at the forest he had just left. "You know" He started speaking to himself "This isn't such a bad place. I mean, the only interaction that I've had was with an odd, adorable horsie, b-."

Before finishing his sentence, Zarram was cut off by a white rabbit jumping through the window and grabbing hold of his face, hitting his eyes with it's back legs.

"Oh by the empress, get it off" He screamed, hitting his head violently against the wall, failing to hit the rabbit with each hit. "I was wrong, I was so very wrong! This is not a nice place at all!" He fell to the floor flopping around like a fish out of water in a vain attempt to remove the rabbit from his head. The violent struggle for survival went on for what felt like hours, only to be interrupted by the sound of two beings bursting through the entrance to the house.

"What in Celestia's name is that?!?" A loud female voice echoed throughout the room, startling the rabbit, causing it to jump off of Zarram's face, and even scared Zarram a bit as well.

A softer, and obviously frightened voice responded "T-that's the m-monster. I told you it was real this time." The voice sounded more frantic once she realized the rabbit was battling the invader. "Oh Angel, are you okay?"

The rabbit nodded.

"Did you beat up that mean old monster?"

The rabbit nodded.

"Aren't you a good boy?" The voice sounded noticeably more happy while still maintaining it's soft demeanor.

Zarram got up off the floor, and rubbed his eyes. It took a moment for him to recover his vision from the brutal attack, but when he finally recovered it, he was shocked to see no one there except the yellow pony and another one, this one sky blue with a rainbow mane. "Hey, where did you guys go." He scratched his head "I'm not a monster... Well, technically I am, but I have a great personality!"

"Hey, quiet you!" The blue one blurted out "If you move an inch you'll be sorry!"

Zarram was completely flabbergasted "B-but h-"

"I said QUIET." The pony zipped through the air and hovered around Zarram.

Zarram stared for a second, even more lost than he was just moments ago. "And they fly" He spoke to himself.

"Hey, do you want trouble mister?"

Zarram raised an eyebrow, and chuckled. "My silly, little pony. I assure you, I am a master magistrate of the Crystalshard Academy. There are few that can best my magical prowess." He snapped his fingers, fully expecting a conjured flame to appear in his hand, but alas, only a few sparks flew from between his fingers. "Heh, I said only few can best me" He snapped his fingers again and again, to no avail. Nervously chuckling he fell to the ground and begged forgiveness from the obviously irritated pony "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" He pleaded "I don't want to die by something as adorable as you!"

"Than shut it and follow us. We're taking you to somepony that can tell us more about you."

"Um, Rainbow Dash" The timid yellow pony spoke out, reminding everyone that she was there "I-I don't think walking around town with a monster is a very good idea."

"Hmm, that's true Fluttershy, but when can we do?" Rainbow Dash thought for a moment "I know." She zoomed up stairs, leaving a rainbow streak behind her, and quickly came back down, holding a carrot, some tape, a blanket, and some scissors. She looked at Zarram, who was now frowning, with a smile.

After some adjustments, and clever arts and crafts-manship, the disguise was ready. A blanket with eye holes cut out, and a carrot taped to the top, was draped over Zarram to conceal his identity.

The blue Pony smiled at her work "I don't get how Rarity stresses herself out with this stuff, it's easy."

"It's nice and all, but, umm... Why is there a carrot on his head?" Fluttershy questioned shyly.

"Easy!" Rainbow dash flew next to Zarram, now in disguise, and pointed to it "See, he looks like a ghost, and that means he needed a Ghost Horn. All good ghosts have Ghost Horn."

"It's true" Zarram blurted out "I'm undead, I know this stuff."

"I... I see."

Rainbow Dash nudged Zarram towards the door "Come on now, It's time to go see if the egg head has any books on you."

"Come and Knock on Our Door"

The now disguised Zarram clumsily walked next to the two Pegasi, as they walked over the old stone bridge that granted entrance into the peaceful hamlet known as Ponyville. While he could barely see out of the hastily made eyeholes that Rainbow Dash cut out of the sheet, Zarram could make out what seemed like many other of these small, interesting creatures. Some of them had wings, some of them had horns, and some were just like normal horses, or at least as normal as one could get in this plane of existence. They were all around the same size, about up to his waist, maybe a bit taller, and each was as brightly colored as the last.

"Hey, rainbow one." Zarram called out following behind Rainbow dash "You realize that I'm twice your size? We aren't exactly being sneaky."

"Don't you worry about it, you." she said, nonchalantly. "There's enough crazy stuff that goes on in this town where this won't even be questioned."

"I'm just saying, it would make me feel a little bit more relaxed if you could at least come up with a reason for why you're walking around town with a person twice your height in a ghost costume." Zarram took note of the shuffling behind him as it sounded more like dragging than walking. He turned around to see a nervous looking Fluttershy, head bowed down and eyes darting all over the place. "Look, this whole thing is giving your friend here a nervous episode, maybe we could just go back the way we came and I can live in that forest for the remainder of my days?"

"Don't worry about her, she's always like that. Isn't that right Fluttershy?"

The nervous yellow Pegasus looked up at Rainbow Dash and mumbled something. Regardless of what ever was actually said however, Rainbow Dash only heard 'Absolutely, pal.'

"See?" She continued trotting down the dirt road leading the strangest parade that this world has ever seen "And if you go back to the forest how am I supposed to know that you won't prey on us later? You are a monster after all?"

Right before Zarram had the chance to object to Rainbow Dash's statement, the group was stopped by a small orange Pegasus.

"Hey Rainbow Dash... Umm, who's that?" the purple maned filly asked as she looked up inquisitively at her idol.

"Who, the ghost?" Rainbow Dash replied nervously searching for an answer "Um, it's... uhhh... He's... He's Fluttershy's cousin!"

Fluttershy's ears perked up and her eyes darted toward Rainbow Dash as she began to speak softly, "But Rainbow Dash, my cousin is i-"

"In denial!" Rainbow Dash shouted, rushing over to Fluttershy, stuffing her hoof into the poor yellow Pegasus' mouth while completing her sentence. "As you would know, Fluttershy is one of the shyest ponies around, and her cousin is the same way. That's why he has a blanket over him." She smiled at the filly after she finished explaining.

"But, what about the carrot?" the little Pegasus asked as she pointed to it with her hoof.

" Oh, that? Um... He's also a Unicorn stuck in a Pegasus's body, and that's exactly why we need to go and see Twilight."

"Oh, okay." She paused and looked down dejectedly "Maybe I'm the same way..."

The orange filly waved to the group as they parted ways.

"Who was that?" Zarram asked.

Rainbow Dash turned her head to look at him to answer his question "Scootaloo? She's just a kid here, nothing else that's important now. I just want to get to the Library and find Twilight."

"I see..."

They approached a giant tree that seemed to be at the heart of the town and stopped. Various pink tinted windows of all shapes and sizes decorated the trunk, along with several balconies allowing one to stand outside. At the very top was a platform with a telescope mounted on it, which most likely allowed one to stargaze for hours on a clear night. At the base of the tree was a door with a candle design imprinted on it, and right next to it was a sign with a book.

"I guess this is the place, huh." Zarram asked "You know, the library with a candle on the door instead of a book..."

Rainbow Dash nodded and approached the door, shouting loudly before knocking "Hey Twilight! We need your help!"

The Rainbow maned pony's assault on the door continued until a lavender colored Unicorn opened it, saving it from further abuse at the cost of her own head.

The Unicorn flinched in pain as the Pegasus' hoof hit her cranium three times "OW! Rainbow Dash, that hurt!" She rubbed her head, ruffling her dark purple mane in the process, and continued to speak. "What do you ne-"

"I'll explain inside! Rainbow Dash exclaimed pushing Twilight inside the library, Zarram and Fluttershy following closely. As soon as the group was fully inside the walls of the library, Rainbow Dash sped over to the door, slamming it shut and locking it.

"Rainbow Dash, what's going on?" Twilight asked looking over at a frightened Fluttershy and the tall disguised figure that were now in her house. "And what is that thing?"

Raindow Dash hovered around the confused Unicorn and frantically started explaining the situation at hand. "A monster came out of the forest and attacked Flutterhy and we found him looking through her house and him and Angel were fighting and... " she stopped to catch her breath, leaving Twilight no more informed than she was moments ago.

With a loud sigh, Zarram flung the sheet off of his body while beginning to explain who he was "My name is Zarram, Magistrate of the Crystalshard Academy." He dusted his robes off as he finished his introduction, straightening out the sleeves and smoothing out some wrinkles as well.

Looking over the interior of the library made it evident that the owner of it takes magnificent care of the books, something that Zarram has always had a deep respect for. The walls were literally lined with a large array of books, ranging from do it yourself construction to children's books about the fairy tale behind why the sun comes up every morning. Where there were not shelves reserved for books, a beautiful vine design flowed throughout the empty space on the walls.

"I would assume that you work here, so..." Zarram stopped when noticed that Twilight staring at him mindlessly, mouth agape. "Can I help you?"

She shook her head, snapping back to reality "Yes, you can actually!" she said excitedly. "You're like nothing anypony has ever seen before, or at least I think." The pony paused for a second and contemplated something before yelling out for her assistant. "SPIKE! Get me 'The Guide to Anything and Everything Equestrian: Bestiary' and my notebook!"

"Listen, I'm sure that you might be a little more level headed than the wallflower and the flamboyant one over there, bu-"

"I have so many questions for you. A bipedal sentient race, how outlandish!" She giggled "SPIKE GET HERE QUICK!"

Zarram sighed "Fine, then I have a question for you too. Do you get those highlights done by the same person that does her hair?" he asked with a smirk, pointing towards Rainbow Dash.

"Hey!" yhe cyan pony exclaimed angrily from the background.

Just as Zarram finished insulting Rainbow Dash's mane, a small purple dragon walked down the stairs carrying a large bestiary in one arm, and a note pad in the other. As he reached the base he gasped in surprise at the sight of Zarram, dropping what he was carrying. Before it hit the ground, a pinkish purple aura encased the books preventing them from touching the floor, and levitated to the lavender mare.

"Who is that?" the baby dragon asked with vigor while maintaining an inquisitive tone.

"This is out guest Spike, he's going to teach us things that no pony knows!"

"I see... why does he look weird?"

"Spike, don't be rude. I'm sure he looks normal for... whatever he is..." Twilight looked over Zarram trying to figure out his species. "What are you exactly?"

"I'm undead." Zarram stated blandly

" I see... but, an undead what?"

"Mage..."

Twilight's ears perked up when he revealed that "You mean you're a magic user? You can teach us about YOUR magic too!"

"I wouldn't count on it." Zarram stated sourly. "Unless you want to know about how to make sparks shoot out of your hand, my magic seems to be mostly useless here."

"I see." The Unicorn jotted down some notes as she continued speaking to him "Why is that?"

"I have no idea!" He shouted "Listen, I really don't mean to sound rude, but I have no idea where I am, and to be quite honest with you, I don't care, I just need to get back home."

"Uh huh." Twilight jotted down some notes.

"Wait, what did I say that needed to be written down?"

"Oh, nothing, but I'm just... studying you..."

Zarram sighed once more "Can you help me or not?" he asked, adding in some extra inflection at the end of the sentence. "If you can, I'll let you draw me like one of your equine women."

Twilight thought for a moment, using her magic to tap the pencil she was writing with against her head "I'm truly sorry, but I have no idea how to help you. I don't even know where you come from, but I do know someone who might."

"And who might that be?" the undead mage asked impatiently.

"Princess Celestia!"

"Really? You have connections to a princess? That's great!"

The mare smiled and nodded "Indeed. She's my teacher."

"That's even better, she's educated! And if she can't help, I'm sure the king or queen can!"

"King or queen? we don't have one of those, just the Princesses" Twilight said, correcting Zarram

"Wait, princessES? Shouldn't one of them be a queen than?"

Twilight looked at him as though such a statement could be considered heretical "That's not how it works. Celestia is the Princess of the Sun and Luna is the Princess of the Moon. They rule as equals."

"This is a very backwards place..."

Spike grabbed a parchment and pen from a nearby desk and walked up Twilight. "Should I send a letter to the Princess now?"

Pondering for a moment, Twilight devised a plan that would sneak education in for both her and Zarram. "No. I think that I'll take him to Canterlot to see the Princess personally."

"But Twilight, I don't think that it's a good idea to take someone like that out to Canterlot. People might get scared."

"Oh Spike, it'll be fine." she chimed "Now you an Owlicious take care of the place while I'm gone." She trotted next to the two Pegasi that were standing near the door. "And you two make sure no one worries about this, he's perfectly safe."

The two nodded in unison, Rainbow Dash saluting afterwards.

"Come on now, let's get moving, daylight's burning!" Twilight exclaimed, leading Zarram out the door.

Ponies? Who said anything about Ponies?

Author's Note:

Hello everyone. I would like to say thank you for choosing my story. I've been working very hard on it between the days I've worked, and I'd appreciate any feedback, questions, concerns, or pretty much anything you have to say to me. I always love to grow as a writer and artist, so I do take constructive criticism heavily into consideration with my next project.

Also, since this is my first time using this website, and if any of the format is odd, just be sure to bring it to my attention. And in case you can't read this because of some odd formatting error

TELL ME THIS THING IS BROKEN SO I CAN FIX IT!!!

There is a bit more to this author's note at the end of the chapter, only because I don't like ruining things for the readers.

So with that said, please sit back, relax, and enjoy my idiotic, psycho-babble that I would dare call a fan fiction

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Dreadnorr screamed in anger, flipping a table with some writing utensils on it and flinging ink onto one of his minions that were standing nearby. As the small, imp-like creature began to clean up the mess a booming voice echoed from above. Looking up, it saw the visage of a hulking, pale, blue skinned undead that was his master, with green glowing irises staring back down.

"What am I doing wrong?!" Dreadnorr shouted at the trembling being "Every time, EVERY TIME, he always manages to beat me!"

The minion, still shaking, shrugged in confusion allowing Dreadnorr to see that it was sympathetic towards his anguish while wiping the ink off of the horns that protruded from the sides of it's head.

"Him and that annoying little brat are the bane of my existence! Without them, the Academy would be absolutely nothing. I mean look at it; he's a string-bean, a book worm, and the masked one is a chubby little human boy." He let out a drawn-out sigh "So why is it so difficult?" Letting out another sigh, Dreadnorr placed his butt upon the floor and plopped down next to his minion.

With the long moment of silence, and the burning desire to please his master, the minion opened it's mouth to speak. "W-well.... t-t-they do have magic on their side, while you, my lord, have..." The minion paused as Dreadnorr turned his head looking him right in the eyes, holding it's own mouth shut for fear what he had just said.

He crawled on all fours to be face to face with the dark little creature, pushing the skin where his nose would be up against it's cheek "No, continue, I REALLY AM intrigued to hear what your feedback" with a sarcastic tone.

The minion, now absolutely terrified, continued his sentence slowly while biting at one of it's claws "W-w-well.... you are much stronger than him... and y-y-you have a castle...b-b-but I was gonna say that you have noth-"

Dreadnorr picked the demon up by it's neck before it could even finish it's sentence "YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT ALREADY!?!" Kicking a leg on the table that he had previously thrown, shattering it, sending splinters everywhere. "But even still, I have access to many powerful magic artifacts that should aid me in battle, not to mention my alchemical brilliance."

The creature, now beginning to run out of air, clawed at it's master's hand as Dreadnorr squeezed tighter with his continuing rage. He quickly threw it to the ground, noticing the creature's pain, and changed the topic for a brief moment "You're very lucky you know? Usually you'd be dead, but with all these smelly tree huggers running around nowadays a simple dead minion in the trash is enough to get a flash mob outside your castle. and on top of that, you guys aren't easy to make."

Taking a few deep breaths, the minion had seemed to spring back to life within a few seconds and was already standing at attention in front of Dreadnorr.

Returning to the original topic, Dreadnorr sat back down and looked at his minion "You know, maybe I need some outside help." pondering for a moment he pointed towards his minion "You want a raise, right?"

The minion, confused, nodded his head with a smile on it's face.

"What are some of your ideas for how'd you get rid of someone that beats you at every turn. Now come on, there' no such thing as a stupid idea."

For a moment, the minion looked up scratching it's chin before it's face lit up with excitement "I know, you say he always beats you at every turn right? Well, do something that is not expected. During a battle break out into interpretive dance halfway through"

"Oh, I like it, but what tactical advantage does it serve?"

"Oh... the tactical advantage.... Well, I didn't think that deeply into it, I just intended for him to be dumbstruck for a moment..." The minion continued "Maybe wear a razor tutu?"

Dreadnorr placed his hand over his face and groaned "Any other ideas?"

"Well... Oh, this is a perfect idea to use his own magic against him effectively for a cheap price!"

Dreadnorr jumped to his feet in excitement when he heard these words come out from his minion's mouth, letting out an excited and hopeful "Yes?" he bounced in place like a child walking into a toy store while exposing his pointed teeth in a crooked smile.

"You take a mirror and reflect it back at him."

Having the smile on his face shatter into a frown and his hopeful eyes melt into pure rage, he let out a scream of frustration "He uses fire... FIRE! Do you have any idea how the physics of flames work?"

"I- I was just thin-"

"No! Just no! You were not, and if you truly were, I certainly feel bad for the people who brought a being such as you into this world!"

The minion felt the need to point out that Dreadnorr was indeed the sole person that had brought him into the world. "But you did, sir"

Dreadnorr's face grew emotionless. "Well..." Before anything else was said, Dreadnorr punted his minion out the window, sending glass shards in every direction, and causing the tattered drapes to fall down below it. As it flew out the window Dreadnorr shouted "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"

Looking around the now nearly devastated room, Dreadnorr came to a sudden realization. He felt a lot better than he did just moments before, and it wasn't just because he broke several items in the room and became the number one minion football player. Something was missing, something that caused him such agony. Pondering for a moment he came to the conclusion that getting rid of the minion had made him feel much, much better. "Getting rid of that pesky thorn gave me an idea."

Turning his attention to the dusty bookshelf propped up on the wall behind him, he started searching frantically for a specific book. Throwing each book off the shelf as he searched each row he finally came across one that might help him.

Chuckling a bit to himself he murmured the title "Portals for dummies, by Johnson Cave... Excellent." He opened the book with lightning speed and began to read the index, repeating each chapter aloud "Earth Magic, no. Fire Magic, no. Blood Magic, uh, no. Portals without Magic, ah hah! Page 243." Quickly flipping to the page he had found the perfect portal, one that can be made with a lot of the ingredients that he already had. "Eye of newt, essence of rubber, bath salts, the blood of a magic creature, some soda, and grape jelly (for consistency)" Laughing he continued to read the pages in which the portal was described. "Warning, there is absolutely no possible way to know where this portal will take you. As a matter of fact, we don't even know if this portal will allow you to find a way back, we've only tested it on an orange." Raising an eyebrow Dreadnorr smiled "Well, not my problem". Before closing the book however, he noticed the 'notice' on the page stating the incantation required to actually make the portal work. "Oon-ta Wah-noonta Haya-busa"

Darting out of the study, laughing, he barked at some nearby minions to clean up the room as he headed towards the laboratory. Spending most of the night inside that mysterious room, he had created a truly foul liquid, one that would have to be smeared in the right shape with the proper incantation recited to actually work. Inspecting the vial, he held it up to the light "Look at that, enough for two portals, how delicious." He chuckled.

With the remainder of the night he proceeded to set the trap, as he had now thought of the perfect way to lure those two meddlesome magic users into it. He started painting the pattern that was depicted in the book underneath two of the chairs in the dining room, as a minion passed by. Dreadnorr beckoned for it to come over to him while pulling a letter out of his pocket "Take this to the messenger owls, have it sent to Zarram."

The minion grabbed the paper out of his hand and looked a bit nervous "But sir, you discontinued the own messenger program."

"I did?" Dreadnorr asked, confused "Oh Yeah.... Why did I do that again?"

"You got angered when the owls kept asking you "who" when you told them deliver a letter."

Looking down at the floor, the memories of his failure as an owl trainer surged through his mind. "Well if that's the case, you take it there." With a salute the minion proceeded to run out of the castle to deliver his master's message.

Taking a step back to look at his handy work, he took note of one thing. The ghostly, white markings were in plain sight underneath the chairs against the dark stone floor "Oh, gee, that's inconspicuous" he joked to himself "Oh well, I'll go get the shag carpets."

The following day a tall, purple figure who looked somewhat similar to Dreadnorr, in the respect that he had no hair, ears, or nose, approached the castle dressed in grey and red robes holding a blood stained letter in his hands. He inspected the castle, noting many cracks along the wall with moss and vines growing up from the mote before shouting at the gate keeper , politely asking if he could come in.

With this request the gate keeper readied an arrow for Zarram's head before a huge claw picked him up from behind and threw him out of the way, into the wall behind him "I've got the door, you dolt." Dreadnorr waved at Zarram as he opened up the gate for him.

Zarram strolled in passing an arrangement of odd, and somewhat disturbing, statues that populated the castle's main hallway. Of all the ones on display, one stood out to him the most. A poorly put together statue of a man riding a lion with a flag sticking out of his head as his hand hanging on by a thread. Upon close inspection, it was evident the statue was not meant to look like this and was most likely fixed after some accident.

"Admiring my fine taste in home decor I see." Dreadnorr said, walking up behind him. Looking at all of the statues he nodded at them "Yes, they are quite amazing. I certainly enjoy their presence when I'm not gluing them back together after one of our brawls..." He paused as Zarram looked down and kicked some of the dirt that piled up near the door "Which is actually why I have requested your presence here today. I wish to negotiate somewhat of a peace."

Zarram looked down at the smeared note "I figured that might have been the reason you wanted us here." Despite still being uneasy about the whole situation, he smiled.

"Exactly... speaking of 'us' where is that little guy?" Dreadnorr painted a fake smile on his face.

"Oh, James? Yeah, he had to stay and help out at the academy today, something with combustible fruit and such, but I decided to see what you wanted anyway."

Dreadnorr shook his head "Well that's a shame. I'm sure he would have enjoyed it here this evening." He lead Zarram to the dining room "But we mustn't let the lack of his presence deter us from getting to the meat of the matter." Dreadnorr chuckled "And there's more food for us too."

As they entered the dining room, the two approached an obnoxiously long, wooden table with many seats surrounding it, the two on the closeer end having shag carpets under them. Dreadnorr politely stepped in front of Zarram in order to pull a seat out for him.

Zarram took the seat while smiling and giving a nod "Thank you very much". He rubbed his feet on the carpet beneath him "I like the carpet too, they look nice and make me feel fancy."

Smiling back and laughing Dreadnorr patted his shoulder. "Don't mention it." he began walking away, and with a much more serious tone whispered to himself "It's my pleasure."

"Uhh, what?!?" Zarram shouted as he held his hand over where his ear would be. "This table kinda makes it hard to hear you!"

"Oh don't worry!" Dreadnorr Shouted back as he approached his seat like a child would approach theirs for the first day class.

"Pardon!?"

"I said, DON'T WORRY!"

"I still can't understand you!"

"I SAID!" pausing for a moment he mumbled to himself "Forget it" as he got out of the chair he was planted in and took it to the end of the table where Zarram was sitting, proceeding to place it on the table top right in front of Zarram,.

Face to face with Dreadnorr's brown, steel tipped boots, Zarram looked up and smiled "Those boots are quite nice."

With an agitated tone, Dreadnorr's eyes narrowed as he responded "Quite...". Looking back down at Zarram's chrome dome he began to make conversation with his nemesis one last time, almost to subconsciously tease him. "So, now this is just a fun little question Zarry... I can call you that, right?"

Zarram shook his head indicating 'no'.

"Right, any who, fun question time. What would you do if you were sent to, I don't know, an alternate dimension, where reality can range from butter coming out of your tear ducts or ducklings conducting a train full of daggers into an orphanage on a daily basis?"

Pondering the question for a moment, and feeling a bit unnerved, Zarram heavily considered his answer before opening his mouth to speak "Well, I think that I would be miserable... or I'd make a living off of being an undead popcorn salesman." he nervously laughed.

Nodding his head and smiling, Dreadnorr continued the conversation by expanding upon the original question "And what do you think that the world would be like with out you?"

"Well, the Academy would probably get taken over by some horrible force, that's for one. Everyone that I know would probably die as a result as well." Zarram pulled at his collar. "So, where's the food?"

Dreadnorr felt like jumping with joy when he heard those words leave his mouth. {This is it.} Sending the chair flying backwards, Dreadnorr leaped off his butt and onto his feet. Throwing his hands up in the air, he chanted "OON-TA WAH-NOONTA HAYA-BUSA!" three times. Prepared for a spectacular light show, with an amazing vanishing act to tie it all up, he was disappointed to notice that Zarram was still sitting right there. {What... What went wrong?}

Raising an eyebrow, Zarram looked up at Dreadnorr. "What was that?" he asked.

{Think fast} Dreadnorr thought to himself. "It's a new tradition here in the castle. All the minions and I do a dance and sing a song to celebrate, uh... LIFE! Before eating, that is." He said with a suspicious smile and nod.

"How... fun?" Zarram began to get out of his chair before Dreadnorr stopped him.

"Oh no, don't stand, it will break tradition. Only the host must dance."

"But who sits when you do it with the minions?"

"... no one..."

Dreadnorr began to dance about like a fool as he started repeating the chant from before. Beckoning for Zarram to join in, they both started saying it almost in unison. "OON-A WAH-NOONTA HAYA-BUSA!"

As they repeated the chant for a third and final time, a bright light illuminated the room as a vortex formed under Zarram's seat, sucking him into an unknown abyss. Fearing that he too would be sucked in, Dreadnorr dove off the table and crashed onto the stone floor.

The portal began to settle down and eventually dissipate, and Dreadnorr stuck his head up to look around. "Did... Did it work?" He waited for a response." Zarram you're a milk suckling loser who runs around with your student all day because no one likes you!". He ducked under the table in case Zarram was still there and ready to burn his bones to ashes. With a moment of silence Dreadnorr sprung to his feet.

"YIPPIE, I DID IT!" He laughed uncontrollably while he called for one of his minions. An ink stained and bandaged minion walked in and saluted "Oh yes, today is a good day in deed." His smile widened, looking as if it would crack his face in half if his cheeks stretched much further. "Get me my Jolly ole' Dandy Cane, I'm going for one of my happy walks." The minion bowed and proceeded to exit the room as Dreadnorr continued his jig.

As Dreadnorr was celebrating his victory in his dining room, happy as ever, Zarram was having quite the opposite experience, getting thrown about in the fabric of time and space.

After what seemed like an eternity of agonizing pain and torment, he ended up getting spit out of the rift that with only two mementos; the chair he was sitting on, now broke due to impact, and the carpet that was under his seat at the dinner table.

Rubbing his back Zarram arose from what looked like a magic carpet flight gone horribly wrong. He kicked the broken bits of the chair off of the carpet and picked it up, dusting it off. "you know what, these carpets don't look nice, ya jerk!" He shouted, as he shook his fist in the air.

Taking a moment for the severity of the situation to set in, Zarram had now just realized that he was completely and utterly lost, and possibly not even in the same realm that he was accustomed to. Surveying his surrounding, he took note of a few things. For one, he was in a forest, one not unlike the ones back home, but this one looked and felt very differently. The trees somehow looked 'friendlier' and the grass was much greener. The overall feeling, while still feeling like a dangerous and dark forest should, felt a bit more friendly as well. The feeling, however, was far from calming.

Letting out a sigh, Zarram began walking in a straight line in no particular direction. "Well, time to find civilization, that will be good." Remembering the horror stories from back home about the ghouls and cannibals he almost began to regret that statement "Or maybe not finding civilization would be better."

After walking for what could have been hours, Zarram could see what seemed to be the edge of the forest. Going into a prone position and crawling to where the bush seemed to clear, he spotted a single house, one that looked as if it was covered in grass or moss with plenty of bird houses everywhere. Standing outside was a small, yellow horse like creature with a pink mane with a small white bunny standing besides it.

"Hmm." Zarram started talking to himself, as he often did when intrigued by things "This can mean one of two things; the horses here are naturally very deformed and brightly colored, or that is one sick horse" Continuing to inspect the creature, Zarram noted a branding on it's flank "So it's domestic, that's good. The owner must be home in that house."

Getting up out of the bush, Zarram began to walk towards the mysterious house...

________________________________________________________________________

Yes, Zarram did end up in Everfree forest, and If I truly butchered where Fluttershy's house is in relation to the edge of the forest, I'm sorry. I'm still kind of getting in to the show.

I'm also truly sorry if there aren't enough ponies in this chapter, it was kind of the prologue

And by the way, I love comments. I love them so much, especially ones that show interest in my story or ones that want to help me.

So go now my pretties... Comment, love, hate, dance...