Playing Pretend

Spike felt weightless, formless. He drifted out in the open like nothing was holding him back. His eyes opened, and he was met with nothingness, empty space. The dragon felt cold, and the silence that surrounded him was painfully loud. He floated around like this for what seemed like a thousand years. Then, his feet made contact with something hard, and he was able to stand up.

He looked down and observed himself, dressed in his usual attire. Then, he saw what he was standing on. He was on solid ground, but it was sandy, coarse, and grey. It stretched for who knows how many miles, as far as he could see in any direction. The dragon quietly wondered to himself where he was, and more importantly, how he got there. The last thing he remembered was retrieving his and Twilight’s clothes from the dining hall before returning to his own bed and passing out.

Spike raised an arm, and it responded in the affirmative, but everything felt floaty. He then did the same with his other arm. Pushing down with both arms, he was able to lift off of the ground for a moment before gently falling back down onto his feet. He took a step forward, and when his foot hit the ground, the dust kicked up and the noise echoed in his ears. Everything sounded muffled and far away.

Spike turned to his left, then to his right. “Hello?” His own voice sounded strange to him, just like the sound of his foot steps. “Hey, is anyone there? I don’t know where I am.” Out of the corners of his eyes, he saw a flickering blue light. It was blinding at first, so he averted his gaze, but it dimmed and vanished as quickly as it had arrived.

When the dust settled, Luna stood before him. She wore a brilliant, blue gown and a sad smile. “Hello, Spike... I am here.” Then, she gestured above her head, pointing to the black space above them. Now, it wasn’t all empty as a beautiful and colorful world hanged over them. “As for where we are... I’d like to welcome you to my realm, the moon.”

Her voice sounded clear, powerful, and upset. She stepped forward, floating gracefully across the ground. Then, she outstretched her arms and brought them together, clapping her hands. A wave of light fired out in all directions, and as it washed over him, Spike felt like normal again. A short hop confirmed that the weightlessness was gone.

Spike grinned and ran to meet the princess, coming to a stop just short of her. “Luna, am I glad to see you... I don’t know how I got here. I mean, If this is your place, I didn’t mean to intrude or anything, I promise.”

Luna let out a light chuckle and raised a reassuring hand, placing it firmly on his shoulder. “You’re not intruding, Spike. I brought you here.” She retracted her hand and brushed her hair from her eyes. “I wanted to talk to you in private, and this seemed like the best place to do it.”

Spike’s eyes widened as he spun in a circle, taking in the foreign landscape around him. He’d never seen anything like it. At least, not this close. “You mean we’re really on the moon?”

The princess held her hands in front of her and shook her head slowly. “Not quite so, actually... None of this is real. You’re dreaming, Spike. Seeing as I was in Canterlot and you were not going to visit me any time soon, I thought this might be the best way for us to spend some time together.” She touched a finger to his upper arm and drew down to his wrist, her eyes pleading into his. “You do still want to spend time with me, don’t you?”

Spike frowned and rubbed the back of his head. His thoughts turned to Twilight and what they did together. He’d gone too far with her, and he didn’t even realize it, having been so caught up in the moment. He couldn’t lie to Luna. He had to tell her about Twilight. She’d been fine with him sleeping with Celestia, but that was over with. Part of him actually wanted to be with Twilight. “Luna...” He took her hands on his. “I do... I really do, but... I...“ He couldn’t get the last few words out. How could he?

There was a definite change in her after that last word. There was a tug as she tried to retract her hands, and her ears folded back. “You do not have to finish, Spike...” She turned her gaze and shut her eyes, blinking out the tears that had been building up inside of her. “I should have known Twilight Sparkle would get to you before me. You’ve known her far longer than me, after all...”

The dragon held even tighter onto her hands. He felt afraid that if he let her go, she’d disappear. “Luna, please... I didn’t mean to hurt you... I just...” He paused, realizing that coming up with an excuse would not help the situation for either of them. “I don’t know why it happened. I don’t even know why this is happening to me in the first place.”

Luna’s ears perked up, and her eyes opened, meeting his. “What do you mean, Spike?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “This... All of it. You, Celestia, Twilight... I don’t know how it all started. A few days ago, I was just... me, and now, I’m caught up in this big mess that’s threatening to ruin everything I care about. I guess what I’m saying is I just want to go back to when things were simpler, when everything made sense.” His shoulders felt as though a great weight had been lifted off of them. It felt good to speak his mind, even if doing so didn’t exactly solve his problem.

The princess looked thoughtful as she rubbed his hands between her fingers. “Spike, I’m so sorry... I feel responsible, and I can’t make things right.” A very serious look came over her. “You can, though.”

Spike shook his head. His chest felt heavy with grief. All he wanted right now was to crawl into a deep, dark hole and disappear from the world. The emotion he was feeling the most at the moment was an awful combination of sadness, anger, frustration, and self loathing. “What are you talking about? How could I possibly fix this?”

She smiled sadly and squeezed his hands. “Tell the truth, Spike. It’s clear to me that you have strong feelings for several mares, but you cannot have them all. How did you feel after you told me about your feelings for Twilight?”

He raised his eyebrows at her, unsure if he had understood her question. He thought back to a few moments before, and then he caught on. “I felt... relieved.”

The princess nodded her head and beamed at him. “Yes! Exactly, Spike... If you want a way out of this, you have to tell Twilight how you truly feel about her.” Then, her gaze fell. “I want you, Spike, for myself, but if Twilight really feels the same way about you, then I won’t stop you from choosing her over me.”

Spike wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make him feel better right off, but it was the best option he had. The last thing he wanted to do was choose one love of his life over another. Then, there was the third outlier. “What about Celestia?”

Luna’s ears fell flat, and her eyes narrow as she glanced off to the side. “My sister... I do not think she’ll care either way. She only used you for a night of passionate lovemaking.” That didn’t make him feel better either. Part of him was still afraid of disappointing her. He’d never responded to the note she left him, after all. She’d invited him back to see her, so maybe there was a connection there. “You’re a sweet, young dragon, Spike, and I truly am sorry that you have to make such a difficult decision that never should have been yours to make. No matter what happens, I hope you find the happiness you desire with the mare you deserve.”

Spike wanted to say something, despite not having anything at the forefront of his mind to say, but he faltered as he felt his feet lift off of the ground. He was beginning to rise, floating ever so slowly away from the surface of the moon. He held on to the princess’ hands desperately, not wanting to let her go. “Luna, wait...”

Her sad smile returned. “It’s time for you to go, Spike. Wake up, and do what must be done.” Then, her fingers slipped from his, and he continued to float away, higher and higher until Luna was nothing but a small, blue dot on a world of grey ash. His arms and legs flailed aimlessly, but it was hopeless as he floated into the black emptiness of space alone.

***Up Next: The Confession***