You are anon, and as usual, you find yourself in a unusual predicament. Originally form earth, yada-yada, transported to another dimension or some shit, yada-yada, talking horse people, you get the idea by now. Straight to the point, you managed to find a job in Equestria as a stage hand for a out-spoken blue unicorn who thinks quite highly of herself, Trixie Lulamoon. You traveled as a duo from town to town, performing cheap magic acts for the town folk, and yes, the pay is just as bad. Though with no Equestrian education on your part, and being equally ostracized like your narcissistic partner, you and luna were the best you two could do for one another.

You are in amidst packing away equipment after a earlier show when Trixie startles you from behind. “What is taking you so long with those light fixtures? Hurry up! We need to be packed and on the road by five or we’ll never make it to the next town by Ten! ‘The Great and powerful’ TRIXIE needs at least eight hours of beauty sleep before a show! So hurry up!”

Oh yeah, if it wasn’t obvious already, she hates you to hell and back. You don’t know why she’s on your case all the time either. Most ponies would just keep their distance if they were nervous around you but would never have the guts to harass you like a beer wench the way this diva does. But in some ways, it was a nice change in pace. At least she talks to you. After a few more minutes of stuffing shit in places that wouldn’t fit like it did before, you two were off.

A few hours later you two were making your way through bumble fuck nowhere. You, of course, were honoured with the great privilege of pulling Trixie’s wagon (Thats how she described it anyway) for miles until you found yourselves trekking a dark misshaped pathway through a eerie forest. The cart would jump and rattle with every bump and pot-hole, quickly taxing your back muscles, and making you even more exhausted. “Hey, uh Trixie? Believe it or not this is actually pretty tiring. You mind if I take 5, maybe 10? I kinda want to avoid getting scoliosis. At least before I’m 30.”

Trixie just heckles back at you through the front window. “Quit your complaining you miserable oaf. Because of you, we are already behind schedule! If you had gotten everything ready in time like I said, then yes, we would be able to make a pit stop, but unfortunately thats not the case is it? So the great, and powerful, TRIXIE, must demand that we keep moving! I’m not wasting anymore time because of you!”

You simply roll your eyes and sigh. “Jesus get of your high horse woman. You’re pulling rabbits out of hats, not curing the sick.” You sputter over your shoulder.

Trixie just looks at you in confusion and anger. “For goodness sake, keep your eyes on the road! Are you trying to get the great, and powerful, TRIXIE, into a accident? And what, in Equestria, is a Jesus?”

“How am I gonna get us into a accident?! I’m not exactly clocking in at Wonderbolt records here!” You twirl around, spitting back.

The pathway begins to decline.

“And who’s fault is that? You could probably go faster if you were using all four of your limbs instead of your mouth! Oh, but I forgot, that would be the smart thing to do! And I simply can’t ask that of a complete moron can I? I might as well ask a earth pony to make it rain!”

“No thats not how my body- You know what?” You drop the carts two handles, letting it hit the ground with a sudden thud. “Thats it. I’m done. I am, officially, one hundred and ten percent, DONE, with this bull~SHHHHHHIT! HOLY FUCK!”

Your screams of agony were accompanied with a sicking crunch. Unfortunately you failed to take note of the decline in the road. So when you dropped the cart, in continued to roll forward. Right over your foot, and across your ankle. Trixie halts the cart with her magic while you fall on your back, rocking back and forth, screaming more obscenities. “What did I tell you you big dumb idiot? Never question the great, and powerful, TR-”

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HELP ME!”

Trixie simply sighs and rolls her eyes while hopping out the front of the wagon. Dragging you inside, she proceeds to pull the both of you to a safe spot to inspect your injury. The inside of the cart was much bigger than the outside, providing lots of living space, making frequent travel much more bearable. The only positive to this nightmare of a job. Thank you magic.

“Well thats just great. Your joint is fractured.” Trixie groans.

“Agh~ Feels like its fucking’ broken to me.” You wheeze through clenched teeth.

“Well it might as well be!” Trixie yells, throwing her hooves into the air. “If you can’t work then I have to set up, perform AND drag your dead weight!” She moans again.

“Wow, don’t you just have wonderful bedside manners.” You scoff back at her while pointing to your bruised ankle. “So can you work some REAL magic here? Or is that horn only for cheap party gags?”

“Keep THOSE manners up and i’ll dump you on the side of the road and you can crawl back home.” Trixie snarls.

“Seriously debating on wether or not thats the better option here.” You spit back.

Trixie chuckles softly as she focuses on your ankle. “I think you’ll find that you would just be a hopeless mess without me.” A blue aura encompasses your now swollen foot, followed by a soothing warm sensation spilling over the inside of your ankle like water. Exactly Like magic, your wound felt almost as good as new.

“Well fuck me. You ‘can’ heal the sick.” You snicker, pulling your leg closer to inspect it.

“No I just numbed the pain. It’s healing at its normal pace so you’ll still have to keep off it for a few weeks. I just don’t want you keeping me up at night with your obsessive moaning and whining.”

“Well, thanks anyway I guess. Even if it was your moaning and whining that got me fucked up to begin with.”

“Are you kidding me?! You’re the one who let go of the cart! On a hill! Don’t blame me because you don’t know how simple physics work you blithering idiot!”

Your petty arguing went on for another ten minutes until the both of you had no energy left to keep going. Although, you’re pretty sure if you did, it would have gone on all night. The following day, Trixie, amazingly, managed to get the both of you to her next gig in just the nick of time. You still helped were you could. No way was Trixie letting you ride for free. You could have lost your whole leg and she still would have had you doing something. Luckily for you, you had more time to catch some R&R before Trixie’s next show.

“TRIIIIIIXIIIIIEEEEE COULD COME HERE? I NEED YOUR HELP.” You groaned form your usual nesting place.

“You have always needed my help! Celesta forbid you were ever capable of doing things on your own!” Trixie snarls, storming towards you. Before she could say another word, a ratty T-shirt hits her in the face, suspended on her horn.

“Could you give that a wash darling, Its pretty gamy, thanks Trix your a pal.”

“UUGH! ~ack! I’m surprised you even care about hygiene!” Trixie’s horn lights up from under your gnarly T-shirt, tossing it to the side. “Now listen here you Neanderthal! If you think that I’m your personal-”

Trixie’s rant comes to a sudden halt while starring blankly at your exposed upper body like a deer caught in a pair headlights. You glance to the left, then back to her, waiting for an insult to be tossed your way. Trixie then regains her composure. “J-just keep your muzzle shut or I’ll tape it shut!” She tosses your shirt back in your face and trots off only to quickly return a second later.

“But I’m not going to smell this for a another week.” And like that, she rips your shirt back in a magical grip, taking it outside.
You raise a eyebrow in confusion but quickly brush the thought off your mind. Outside, Trixie stops and looks down at the fabric suspended in her magical grasp. Wincing slightly, she slowly leans in and takes in a deep whiff. A soft red hue emanates from beneath her powdery blue cheeks before she tosses your shirt on a make-shift clothesline.

Author's Note

Hot dog, a new story? Seems so. Be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter. As usual, Thats where it gets spicy..