Fallen So Far

by GoddessOfCarries

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Raindrops, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Self Insert
Length: 1342

It's hard enough to know your days might be numbered. It's even harder when your only company is a literal goddess. But the worst part? The worst part is that you fell in love with her.

It's one thing to know that you're dying. It's another that you know that no one cares about you.

It's one thing to know you're sick and weak. It's another to know that you have no one to fall back on.

It's one thing to know you've met a goddess. It's another to be completely in love with her.

It's one thing to know you've fallen long ago. It's another to know that you've fallen so far.

My first ever multi-chapter fic to be published, and also an admittedly lame way of introducing my OC.
Cover art is by johnjoesco on DeviantArt.

Published 2018-07-13 06:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-13 06:00:07 UTC

I - Crashing Down

My name is Raindrops. Sunshower Raindrops.

To be honest, I didn't really know why I told you that. It didn't even matter. My name was as insignificant as I was. Ponyville was a small town - yet I was forgotten, like an old book buried within the mountains of new ones high up on the shelf.

I didn't expect myself to be very popular - I was just another weather-pegasus after all. What made me different from Cloud Kicker or Rainbowshine, aside from not living in Cloudsdale? The Elements of Harmony were the main heroes of this town, the focus of all of Equestria. That leaves over a million ponies in the world. What makes me different from them?

Well, let me answer that. The biggest difference is that they were noticed. They had friends and family. I didn't. They mattered to somepony - and I didn't. I lived in Cloudsdale once - technically I still have an old house there, but I saw no point in going back to that place. A house is not what makes a home a home - the ponies living in it were. And those that once made my old cloud house a place to live in were long gone - leaving me alone and lost on these streets, even though I had a house that most ponies would deem cozy. We all live in the background - some have even jokingly referred to us as "background ponies", but I knew that every mare and stallion I see on the street had something more to them - something that they knew that made them important. Only I felt like I was truly fading away into the shadows, becoming less and less of myself, much less being noticed by anypony else.

With every passing day, my routines became more like chores and less like something that makes up a part of me. Even rain-making, something that I literally lived and died for, seemed more exhausting than inviting. I used to find comfort while staring into the rain - now it just feels empty, just like every other moment.

As I walked out of the door on that seemingly ordinary day, I wondered if ending it all was a good choice after all. It wasn't the first time I've thought about such things, but the tiniest shred of hope still lived at the back of my heart, like a faint ray of golden sunshine trying to fight its way through a thick curtain of grey clouds. I didn't understand where the hope was coming from. I waited for years for a miracle to happen - for someone to come knocking at my door and putting me out of my misery, but every single day was as dark and dull as the previous ones. I was starting to wonder if I was slowly giving up.

I grabbed the watering can in my mouth, not feeling any positive effects of the sunlight on my skin while I watered the little flowers I managed to grow in my garden. I always glance at the bright roses my neighbor Roseluck grew with the tiniest amount of envy. Although I knew it was her special talent and she had two other friends who grew their own flowers too - I can't help but wish that I had something beautiful to call my own too.

I knew my mind wasn't focusing on flowers when I thought that. My family's... not around anymore, to say the least, but I still dreamed of my special somepony before. I always had visions of my very own soulmate, one that would stay with me until the end of my otherwise meaningless life, one that would never be around to comfort anypony except me. I didn't know how she'd look like or how we'd meet - I only knew that she'll be a mare and she'll love me as much as I would. Figuring out that I was a fillyfooler wasn't hard when I had no friends or even acquaintances that would care. I mean - I still talk to Berry Punch every now and then... but given she's either drunk or unconscious all the time, I couldn't really count her as much of a friend.

I was on leave on that day, so I proceeded to go back in the house when I felt a slight dizziness. I shook my head. It wasn't a big deal - I didn't think I slept well since... well, ever. I was just going to enter the door when I heard a pony bouncing down the streets. I sighed.

"Morning, Raindrops!" Ponyville's resident party pony called out to me. I turned around with my best fake smile on. "Morning, Pinkie." If my voice sounded monotone, Pinkie chose to ignore it. "Well, I really wish I could stay and chat longer but I have a lot to do today! A party is coming soon and I have to make sure nothing goes wrong!" I let out an internal sigh of relief as she bounced off again, the smile never leaving her face. I wouldn't really consider Pinkie a friend, despite her constant invitations and greetings. It didn't matter much to me, it didn't make me feel special. She did this to everypony - she was only doing her job.

"Oh I'm so excited to meet her I can't even wait I still can't believe that Twilight told me -"

The rest of the mare's words were lost as I closed the door behind me. It was at that point that the dizziness grew worse. I wobbled a few steps forward, almost crashing into a coffee table. I got a little worried - maybe I should look for some medicine. If I recall correctly, I should have some medicine regarding headaches and similar complications. I immediately headed for the kitchen, not wanting to risk flying yet just in case a crash happens again.

"Hey, 'Drops!" A familiar voice called out. I groaned. Lemony Gem. That mare could only be asking for favors if she ever called me like that. I looked out of my kitchen window, and indeed, the blue-maned unicorn was looking at me from her own. Her mane and coat looked shockingly similar to mine, but I knew we had almost nothing in common between us. I rolled my eyes slightly, immediately regretting the action as it caused a fresh wave of pain through my head. "What do you want now, Gem?" I yelled back.

"Would you mind coming over? I could really use some help, and I don't have wings..." She asked meekly.

I sighed, then remembering the reason why I was in the kitchen at the first place. "Yeah, be there in a minute!" I half yelled, half muttered back. The sooner I get over this, the better. I rummaged the shelves for any medicine that might have helped me in my situation. It could have just been me being in a hurry, but I swore I felt my vision blurring, making it difficult for me to locate anything properly.

"Uh, 'Drops?" Lemon's voice called out from the window. "Are you okay? You seem a little pale."

Managing to stop myself from rolling my eyes this time, I opened my mouth to yell "I'm fine."

But before the words came out of my mouth, the whole world swept past me with a blur.

I didn't even recall Lemony Gem yelling my name as I was greeted by a blanket of darkness.

Author's Note

And that's how I know I suck at beginnings.

No, seriously, this is my first multi-chapter fic and I already know I'm terrible at this :raritydespair: I just wanted this to be a series which is child-friendly yet can address a serious topic to younger audiences well. I promise I'll make the chapters in the middle suck less.

If you all have any comments on how to improve my writing, leave them down. I will gladly accept them. :twilightsmile:

~Frosty