On A Pink Horse

by overdonefictions

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1123

Death rides a Pink Horse

Death rides a Pale…what? No. Death rides a pink horse and they eat cupcakes and have picnics and hang out with Pinkie's friends.

Here's a look at a day in the life of Pinkie and Death.

Kind of a joke that I came up with upon seeing the cover image. I knew I needed to write this. The Character of Death, if you couldn't tell by the title, is based on Piers Anthony's interpretation of Death and his occupation. The character himself is not Zane, but another Death, created for the purpose of being Death (has never been human, but maintains the visage of Death as a human skeleton).

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-29 21:40:06 UTC

On A Pink Horse

"Deeeeeeaaaaaaaaaath! Time to wake up!"

"Pinkie, it's too early."

"No it's not, now c'mon! We've got a job to do!"

Death was forced out of bed by the pink and pastel pony. Death likes to sleep naked, so he had to cover himself with the sheets quickly, blushing vigorously as he did so.

"Pinkie! I don't wanna!"

"But you have to! Think about it! The longer you delay, the more somepony suffers!"

"Alright. Fine."

Death grabbed his robe and checked his watch. Ten minutes until the death of his target. Death grabbed his scythe and ran to the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth. Death ran downstairs to the kitchen, he opened the cupboard and grabbed a bag of trail mix. Pinkie Pie was already outside, donning her saddle. Death ran outside after her and leapt on.

"Onwards Pinkie!"

Pinkie Pie galloped off. Death checked his compass to make sure they were going in the right direction. The needle pointed towards the hospital again. Always the hospital. Death was a bit tired of going to the hospital and seeing all the suffering ponies. He sighed.

"What's wrong Death?"

"Oh nothing. I just don't like my job."

"What do you mean? Don't you like hanging out with me?" Pinkie spoke with a tremor in her speech.

"No Pinkie, it isn't that, I just don't like taking ponies. They're all so happy and joyful. It makes me wish that ponies never died."

"Death. Everypony dies. Unless you're like you or me! Bound to Celestia to relieve the burdens of life!"

"I guess you're right." Death feigned a smile.

They rode for a while. Death felt a little better, but he still wished he didn't have to do this.

"Pinkie?"

"Yeah Death?"

Death paused for a moment before he asked "Do you ever think about when your friends will get old and die?"

"Sometimes...but I always try and look forward to the new friends I'll make! I'll still be sad, but it can't be helped."

Death was happy to know Pinkie's friends as well as Pinkie did. Death was very fond of Pinkie, but he needed a social life, and not many ponies care to be friends with death.

Pinkie Pie stopped at the hospital and whinnied. She seemed to like doing that whenever they arrived somewhere. Death got off of Pinkie and headed through the doors, Pinkie followed suit. Inside the hospital the receptionist eyed Death cautiously. She had recently been hired, so she still wasn't used to seeing Death on  a daily basis. Death walked up to the counter and rang the bell. It was one of the few things about going to the hospital that he enjoyed. The receptionist peeked out from under the counter.

"What room is it this time?"

The receptionist eyed him, then spoke with fear. "P-probabaly i-in s-s-section B, room 240." She smiled fearfully.

"Thank you." Death smiled back and waved goodbye.

Death headed for the stairs. He was trying to stay in shape, but was finding it difficult due to Pinkie's frequent parties and diet of only sweets. Death wasn't sure how she survived. Death entered the dull, white stairwell, looking at every picture of a stick pony running from a fire, since there was nothing else in there to look at. Death climbed to the second floor and opened the door of the stairwell, Pinkie Pie following closely behind. The corridor was a little less blank than the stairwell, mainly because of the windows looking out onto the park. A very picturesque scene of foals playing on the swings made Death hate his job even more. He brought so much misery...

Death knocked on the door of Room 240. No answer, as he expected, but he always knocked for the sake of common courtesy. Death opened the door slowly, checking his compass to make sure he was in the right place. Pinkie Pie waited outside the room. The pony he was here for was behind the curtain on the far side of the room. Death pulled it back, viewing an extremely bandaged pony with his eyes closed. His watch showed he still had five minutes until his death, but the pony was clearly in pain. Death decided to spare him the suffering. Reaching in with a slender, bony finger, death hooked the pony's soul on the tip of his finger and drew it out. The pony's face turned from one of contorted pain, to one of peace.

Death opened the pouch at his side and placed the soul into it for later evaluation. Death checked his watch and saw that he was done for the day. Thank Celestia. Death exited the room and headed down the stairs, stopping again to look at the playground. Pinkie Pie raced him down the steps, beating him by about half a flight. The duo exited the hospital, Death waved goodbye to the receptionist as they left.

Death mounted Pinkie Pie and they trotted off at a comfortable pace. Death decided to bring up the subject of activities for the rest of the day.

"So Pinkie, what should we do for the rest of the day?"

"I'm glad you asked that! I have the perfect idea! Okay, so, Twilight just recently finished her monthly cataloguing, Rarity has just finished a big order for a pageant in Manehattan, Applejack should be done with her daily chores by noon, Rainbow Dash should be done with her practice and evening nap by 1:00, and Fluttershy gets back from that "Care for your Otter seminar" at around 1:00! So that means that everypony's schedule is free! So I had the brilliant idea to have a picnic!"

"A picnic sounds like fun."

"You betcha! I've already prepared some food, and I suggested it to Twilight yesterday, she said she'd bring potato salad, Applejack will most definitely bring apples, Rarity makes a great salad, Fluttershy will probably make a soup or something, and Rainbow Dash...doesn't cook...but that's okay! We'll have plenty of food for everypony!"

"Alright then, let's go grab a blanket."

"You go do that, I'll round up the girls!" And thus, Pinkie bounced off, leaving Death to find a blanket large enough to hold The six ponies, himself, and probably Spike. Death, however, didn't know where to look. He wasn't sure where to find one. When he suggested it, he thought Pinkie would do it and he would round up their friends. On second thought, it was probably better that she did it. The scene played out in his head:

"Fluttershy!"

"Eeep!"

"Fluttershy, I have come for you!"

"No! NO! Go away!"

Yep. Definitely better that Pinkie did it. Death figured he could search Sugarcube Corner for a blanket befitting of picnics.