Lately

Can't get out.

The hospital room was dimly lit by the moonlight shining through the window. Fluttershy was sitting on the floor next to the love of her life. Everyone else was already asleep but her mind was too.. clouded. Everything had gone by so quickly. Rarity and Fluttershy had rushed to the hospital as soon as they heard. This was the first time in the last couple of hours that she could think in peace without the interruption of all the chaos.

She looked at her side to see Rarity sleeping. Her head on the blanket of the hospital bed that still had her tears on it. Fluttershy looked up at the little filly sweating heavily in her sleep. Her breaths were quick and panicked. A feeling of pain appeared in her chest. She wanted to help her so badly. She just wanted to make everything ok.. but how?

She removed her wing from Rarity's shoulder and stood up. She wanted to go outside. to just.. escape from all of this for a moment. It was just becoming.. too much to handle. She sneaked past a sleeping Rainbow Dash, snoozing softly in a corner of the room. "She's still here.. Even after all of our friends left.. She must really be worried.." She thought to herself.

Fluttershy's hoofsteps had awakened Rainbow Dash from her sleep. She could see Fluttershy exit the room. "What is she up to?" Rainbow thought. She slowly got up on her hooves and started following Fluttershy.

Fluttershy instinctively walked to the one place she could always go to clear her mind. The sound of her hooves tapping the grass was very calming to her. She took a deep breath and released it as she looked up at Luna's moon. After a while she neared the clearing where she had taken Rarity on their first date.

She sat herself down against a big tree and stared into the lake. Tears started to form in her eyes. She had no control over it. She just needed to cry. She had to be strong for Rarity. For sweetie belle.. but all she wanted to do was cry.. She covered her eyes with her hooves as tears started to escape from them. "I don't want to lose them.. I don't want to lose anypony!" she said in a whining voice.

Rainbow Dash's heart broke at the sight of her shy friend crying. She slowly walked closer to the pegasus and conjured up her most soothing voice.

"H-Hey Shy.. a-are you al right?" she asked softly.

The pegasus quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes and turned to her friend. "Rainbow.." She said, trying to appear strong infront of her friend but her voice sounded like she had cried quite a bit. "I'm fine.."

The two ponies stood there on the hill. The moonlight was just bright enough for Rainbow Dash to see the tears on Fluttershy's cheeks and the pain in her eyes. Rainbow dash did not respond. She just walked over to her friend and hugged her tightly.

"Rainbow.. Really.. I'm fine.." She objected. She could feel the warmth of her friend pressed up against her. It was comforting to feel Rainbow's head resting on her shoulder. Finally she gave up. She started to cry heavily as she pressed her eyes into Rainbow's shoulder.

"Oh Rainbow! I feel so helpless! I want to help her so badly! I can't stand to see Rarity like this.." She cried. Rainbow did not speak. She merely stroked Fluttershy's back as she held her in her arms. "It feels terrible.. to want to help.. but not be able to.."

"Sshh Shy calm down.. It's going to be ok.."

"No it's not! You heard the doctors she might die!" She managed to say between her crying. It was hardly audible because of her sobbing.

A heavy feeling hit both of them.. That realization.. That somepony close to you might actually Die.. It felt so.. unfair. What kind of god would do that.. You just want to scream at the world in anger. Dash's eyes filled with tears as well as she thought about it.

After a while Rainbow managed to calm Fluttershy down. The timid pegasus wiped her eyes. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. It felt good to cry carelessly for once. "Rainbow.. What are we going to do.. We have to do something!"

"Shy.. we are going to be there for them. That is the best we can do and even thought it may feel hollow and meaningless and even though you just want to get mad at yourself for not being able to help her more. Rarity NEEDS you right now. She needs you right now more than ever." She said with a look of compassion in her eyes. "In case the worst might happen.. You have to be there to catch her when she falls.. It is useless to dwell on the past.. we have to look forward and forget.. because if we surround ourselves with sorrow how can we ever hope to be happy?"

Fluttershy looked up at her friend in amazement. Those were the most intelligent and kind words she had ever hear her friend say. Ever since she had met the blue pegasus when they were fillies she had never been good with emotions. "Thank you Rainbow.. For everything.." she said softly.

"No. Thank you shy! Thank YOU for being the most awesome, kind and loving pony I know! You comforted me when I got bullied and beat up back in school. And now I'm returning the favour!" She put her hoof on her friends shoulder as she lowered the tone of her voice. "Don't you ever let anyone say.. That you are not beautiful.. Cause you are shy. You are amazing! And I KNOW that you will help Rarity and everyone else Get through this. Because that's what you do! You help people and expect nothing in return. If everypony in this world was a bit more like you.. it would be a much better place.."

Fluttershy's heart warmed at her friends speech. she was speechless. Lost for words. Those were the kindest words she had ever heard anyone say to her.. She responded by hugging her friend even tighter for no words could describe her feelings at that moment.

Twilight was lying in her bed. face towards the ceiling, Alone with her thoughts. Her entire world was silent. She would often spent her nights like this, thinking about one thing or another but never before did her thoughts become so.. silent. She could not get the words to appear in her mind. Her best friend was about to lose her little sister..

She just stared at the ceiling in silence. her eyes started to get wet so she closed them causing the tears to escape from her eyes. "It doesn't make sense.." she thought to herself. "Why doesn't it make sense!" she yelled loud enough to cause the young dragon sleeping at the end of her bed to wake up.

"Twilight? What's wrong?" He said as he noticed the tears in Twilight's eyes. He did not get to see it a lot. Twilight preferred to avoid crying. she thought it was an impractical waste of time but that night everything just became too much. "Why are you crying?"

"Spike.. Go back to sleep. It's not important." She said, trying to appear strong.

"Not important my tail! You haven't cried since.. since.. I don't think I've ever seen you cry!"

"I don't want to talk about it.. You wouldn't understand.."

The baby dragon walked over to his caretaker and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Try me. I can be pretty understanding." He said with a look of concern.

Twilight sighed. "I can't get my mind off of Sweetie Belle.. It seems so.. unfair. It doesn't make sense for the world to be this cruel.." Twilight was always more down to earth than other ponies. She knew that bad things happened without reason all the time but still.. It all seemed so.. unreal. She had dedicated her life to the study of every subject possible. To be the most intelligent and wise pony in Equestria. But even after all those years of studying.. Death was still something she could not understand.

"Twilight.. Why do you have to act like you know when you don't know? It's ok if you don't know everything." he said with a look of compassion.

Twilight's eyes started to tear as she hugged the little dragon tightly.

"Why don't you do what you always do when you are upset Twilight?" He asked

"Of course!" She said as she jumped out of her bed and grabbed a quill and a piece of paper. "Dear Princess Celestia" she said softly as she started writing.

Applejack sat on top of her sheets. she looked outside at the moon shining its light on the orchard she called home. She tried her best to keep her mind from thinking about it.. She stomped her hoof into her bed as she fought the tears forming in her eyes. she got off of her bed and kneeled on the ground with her hooves joined in prayer.

Prayer.. The only thing that could ever give her solace from the hardships of life. It felt nice to know that there was always someone there to listen to her problems.. She could never go to her friends or family. She had to maintain a certain image of strength.. But no matter how strong she was physically her mind was weak.. soft-hearted..

Big macintosh had finally finished his work on the orchard. He was walking up the wooden stairs of the Apple Family's home. He heard his little sister softly talking in her room. Who was she talking to? He slowly nudged the door open and peeked through to see his sister praying on the edge of her bed as tears escaped from her eyes.

"God.. Ah know that you do what you think is best for us.. but.. this doesn't make sense.." As she bit her lip and a single tear fell from her face she could only speak one word. "why?" A question that many have asked before. A question that arises in the hearts of the faithful when something terrible happens.

"Why.. WHY!" She started yelling. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" She was crying out for an answer to sooth her mind but all she got in return was silence.. "Can't you see why Ah am angry with you! She's just a little filly!" She was desperately looking for an answer. But once again.. all she got was silence.. It were these moments in her life that she doubted her faith. "What kind of god kills fillies.." She whispered under her breath.

The red stallion walked into the room. "Ya have all the right to be angry ya know?" he said softly. "As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe.. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has has happened that we just can't accept.."

He walked over to the bed and sat down next to his little sister. "Ah know that you're mad AJ.. Ah'm mad too.. But that there filly aint dead yet.. She's a fighter. So instead of praying for god to change the past. Why don't ya pray for a better future?"

She looked at her brother with teary eyes. "Ah shouldn't cry.. Ah am too strong to cry.. "

"Mourning aint no sickness or weakness, mourning is strength. It’s okay to feel and to express your feelings.." Suddenly he heard the sound of hooves in the doorway. He turned his head to see Applebloom standing in the hallway looking at them with teary eyes.

"C'mere little filly.." He said as he beckoned his little sister to come closer. He hugged his two sisters tightly as one single tear escaped from his eyes.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I know that I usually write to you about my findings on the magic of friendship. But this letter is about a personal matter. It is easy for us to accept death when we are not confronted by it. We know it exists but we choose to ignore it until somepony close to us might actually experience it. You can get mad with the world. You can scream all you want but that will not change the fact that it is going to happen.

Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle has been poisoned badly.. And she probably wont make it.. I got angry at the world because I didn't understand the reason behind it all.. As an immortal you must have dealt with death alot in your lifetime.

How do you deal with it?

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.