Blindsided

When Lazuli woke up, she expected it to be…well, she hadn’t expected to wake up at all, so she didn’t actually know what she expected until her eyes were open. Instead of the cold concrete of the cafeteria, though, she found herself lying in a bed. An actual bed, with clean sheets, somehow, and a heart rate monitor beeping steadily at her side. She felt like absolute garbage, though.

She tried to sit up, but an intense pain both from her left side and her back made that impossible. She hissed, laying her head back on the pillow and clenching her eyes shut. She still felt groggy, but not hungry or dehydrated. The IV stuck in her left foreleg had probably pumped her with nutrients, which she was happy for.

Shaking her head to clear it, Lazuli looked around. It was only when she turned her head to the left that she nearly jumped right out of her gown, her bandages and her skin, seeing the looming form of Steel Resolve sitting by her beside. “F-fucking-“ She rasped, then realized her throat was as raw as could be and it hurt to talk.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” Steel’s voice was low, and once her eyes properly focused she saw that his left wing was in a cast against his side and he had bandages all over his body. “You’ve been out a while.”

“Wh…” Lazuli coughed. Steel helpfully lifted a cup of water to her lips, and while she hated being babied, she drank from it. The refreshing luke-warmness of the water passing over her sore throat helped. “H-how…long…?”

“Three days, give or take. We uh…didn’t find you in the cafeteria ‘til after the fighting was over.”

“Is…” Lazuli grimaced, gritting her teeth. “Is…everyone…”

“I won’t sugarcoat it, Laz, we lost a lot of soldiers, and a fair few were injured too.” He shook his head. “Was damn difficult getting them off the base with the bridges destroyed, but we managed. Good thing is, our guys remembered their training, stuck together. We lost a lot less than they did…too bad most of them fought till the death.”

“Nngh…” Lazuli put a hoof on her stomach, inhaling sharply and managing to scoot upright slightly. “I n-…I…” She wheezed, not properly able to formulate a sentence until she regained her bearings. “I need to…see…Cirrus…”

“She’s still out, Laz.” Steel gently put a hoof on her shoulder to keep her from getting up. “And you’re not rested enough to get up.”

Lazuli was worried about a few things – one, why she didn’t hear all kinds of activity in the hospital when they had likely dozens upon hundreds of injured soldiers to treat. She tried to voice that, painstakingly slow, and Steel caught on halfway through.

“Most of the injured soldiers got brough to Canterlot General, on the other end of the city. Closer to the base. They’re more suited for on-the-spot treatments of large groups of patients, not like here. We brought you here because you didn’t need surgery, just some bone resetting in your wings and bandages for your wounds. Plus…felt cruel to bring you to a hospital away from Cirrus.”

“What…about…Kiama?” She found it easier to speak the more she did it.

“Kiama, uh…” Steel gently patted his leg, chewing on his lip. “She’s alive. Barely, and she’s on life support, but she’s alive. Got her metal limb ripped clean off too. And uh…speaking of the zebras, did you rip Ayize’s head off?”

Lazuli knew it was crude, but she couldn’t help a small smirk. “Yeah…”

“Geez…well honestly, I think we have you to thank for helping us win. Ayize had been giving her troops orders over the radio the whole time. Once she was dead, they were even more disorganized than before. You really helped, Laz.”

Lazuli felt…guilty, in a way. She didn’t deserve to be hailed a hero just because she went after a mare for petty vengeance.

“And…the robot?”

“…Robot?” Steel raised an eyebrow. “Which one? There were a lot of those.”

“No, the…” Lazuli shook her head. “The robot zebra.”

“Ayize?”

“No!” Lazuli sat up, then whined in pain and fell back. “The- the synthetic…all robot…the one outside.”

“I…don’t remember seeing anything like that.” Steel tilted his head. “You sure you got your memories straight, Laz?”

“He was-“ Lazuli started to say, then grimaced and shook her head. “Nevermind.” She played it off like she wasn’t worried, and really she knew that she shouldn’t be, but in the back of her head it terrified her.

“Alright…well.” Steel sighed, grunting a bit as he stood up, clearly still sore. “The doctors said you should stay in bed for another day or so after you wake up.” He turned around to head for the door. “Just until you’re properly…awake. Your wings will heal, as long as you don’t work them too-“ His ear twitched. “You’re already standing up, aren’t you?”

Lazuli had, indeed, gotten out of the bed. She was wobbly on her hooves, and uncertain, but she was standing nonetheless. “…No…” She mumbled.

Steel suppressed a smirk as he opened the door. “Well you just lie there and rest, then. I’ll leave the door open…in case you need help.” He stepped out, ducking his head as he exited the room, leaving the door ajar. Lazuli smiled openly, but she needed to get her balance first.

It took her almost three full minutes to steady herself enough to make it out of the hospital room. Her gown felt uncomfortable, and every step sent a dull throbbing pain through her left side, but she forced herself to move regardless. She was just glad none of the hospital staff decided to stop her, and that whatever doctor was in charge of her was apparently just not paying attention to his charges for the moment.

Lazuli appreciated that, though. While it took her a bit to properly figure out what wing of the hospital she was in, eventually she found her way to Cirrus’ room. She had to fumble with the door handle for a moment before she pushed it open, grimacing slightly and dropping back down on all fours as she shuffled in. Cirrus was still asleep – her head still bandaged, though the bandages were no longer red, and she had less equipment hooked up to her than before. The gentle beeping of the monitor was the only sound in the room once she shut the door.

It was extremely uncomfortable to sit down, but once she was seated on the stool her aching limbs seemed to allow it. “Hey Cirrus.” She spoke out loud, as she had before, just in case she could in fact hear her. “I know I haven’t been here the last few days…” She spoke quietly so she didn’t make her throat even sorer than it already was. “But I’m here now. And I’m not leaving.” She leaned down, grunting a bit at the uncomfortable stretching in her wings, risking a small kiss on Cirrus’ cheek.

Pushing her stool up against the cabinet in the corner, she managed to find a way to lean up against it so that it didn’t hurt her broken wings, then stayed there.

“So…she’s just been in there the whole time? Two days?” Steel’s voice made Lazuli’s ear twitch, just outside the door to the room.

“Just about.” Doctor Silver’s voice responded. “I’m not about to tell her she can’t be. The more she’s out of bed, the better…plus if she’s well enough, who am I to tell her she can’t be there for her wife?”

“I don’t like it, though.” Steel grunted. “It’s not healthy for her to be in there all the time.”

“I know that, but I don’t think it will be much better if she’s away from her.”

Steel just snorted. The door to the room slowly opened, revealing the large grey Pegasus as he stepped inside with a slight smile. “Hey, Laz.”

“I’m not deaf.” Lazuli growled.

“Oh…uh.” Steel shook his head. “Okay, yeah, I was concerned.” Silver walked in behind him. “I know you want to be there when she wakes up, but you’re spending way too much time in here.”

“I’ll do what I want.”

“And even though it’s good that you’re moving,” Silver said, “Your body still needs rest. Especially to heal those broken bones.”

“I can rest in here.”

“Lazuli…” Silver grimaced. “I can’t let you be in here all the time. I’m afraid I’ll need to restrict you to regular visiting hours. You can’t just spend all this time in here.”

“You think I’m leaving her alone?” Lazuli started to stand up, her back painfully cracking with a slight hiss from her before she continued. “You’re gonna have to drag me out.”

“Laz, you’re being unreasonable.” Steel said firmly. “Just go back home some time soon, okay? You need rest.” Earlier, a day after she had woken up, Steel suggested putting both Cirrus and Lazuli in the same room – but Lazuli was discharged officially that day, since all she really needed were the casts and bandages. Now that she was awake, she didn’t need full care.

“I’ll rest when I know she’s okay.”

“This is giving me deja-vu.” Steel pressed a hoof to his forehead, then sighed. “Listen. I can’t force you out, but Silver’s giving you restrictions. If you don’t listen to him, we will have to drag you out.”

“I’ll be here every damn minute I can.” Lazuli moved her stool closer to the bed, her head turned away to hide the fact that she was on the verge of tears again. “It’s my fault this happened. All of it. I’m not letting her wake up without apologizing.”

“Mmm…” Silver rubbed his chin with a hoof. “I’ll…leave you two alone again, I suppose.” He sighed, gently placing a hoof on Steel’s shoulder and stepping out of the room. Steel lingered for a bit longer, then exited with him, shutting the door behind them.

When the door shut, and the heavy hoofsteps of her commander had left, Lazuli let herself go. Her head laid against Cirrus’ chest, tears wetting the blankets as she openly sobbed and mumbled incoherent, feeble apologies that deep down she knew wouldn’t be heard, but either way she needed to get them out. Crying was something that didn’t come easily to Lazuli, and she had cried more in the past week than she had for twenty years.

“I’m…sorry…” Lazuli whispered. “It’s all me…I did this to you…” She laid her head down. At some point, without fully realizing it, she drifted off to sleep.

At some level, Lazuli appreciated that they had left her there. No one had moved her from her position – probably because that would require handling her broken wings, which would only hurt her further. She liked to think it was partly because they cared about keeping the two of them together, though given their last conversation she doubted it.

When she woke up, she had to pull her head back a bit just to get the sheet to stop sticking to her face. Dried tears had caused that, and she quickly wiped her cheeks to try and hide some of the evidence of her crying. “Morning, Cirrus…” Lazuli mumbled half-heartedly. The moon filtering through the curtains told her it wasn’t morning, though, so she corrected herself mentally.

“Mmmrng…” A low groan from the mare on the bed had Lazuli’s head suddenly shoot upright, her ears pointing straight up and her eyes completely devoid of sleep instantly.

“Cirrus?!” Lazuli’s tail inadvertently started to sway back and forth with mixed excitement and worry.

“Lmmph…” Cirrus whined, her hooves twitching a bit, then pawing at the sheets. Her eyes slowly started to open, teeth gritted tightly together as she moved for the first time in over a week, nearly two.

“Cirrus!” Lazuli covered her mouth with a hoof, then quieted herself. “Honey, can you hear me?”

“Wh-…” Cirrus blinked several times. Her eyes remained fixated straight ahead, but her head started to move. “L-…La…” Her throat was dry, but she seemed more ready to speak than Lazuli had been. “Laz…?” She mumbled. “Where…?”

“I’m right here, hon.” Lazuli placed a hoof on one of Cirrus’s with a wide smile. She couldn’t control her happiness. “How do you feel?”

“I c-…I…I-I c…” Cirrus’ heart rate picked up slightly, the monitor beeping at a slightly higher rate. “I…I’m n- I-I can’t see you, where are you?”

“Wh…Cirrus, I’m right here.” Lazuli gently raised her tail, using it to turn her head towards her. “See?”

“I…I…” The machine started beeping faster. “I…I can’t see, I- I can’t see anything, why- wh-why can’t I see?!”

“Cirrus, just calm down, I’m sure your eyes are just adjust-“

“I can’t see!” Cirrus was panicking, her breaths quick and erratic. Her body, not used to this much activity after her time spent unconscious, struggled to keep up, and her heart reached a level that it had the doctor opening the door.

“What’s going on?” Silver looked towards the bed, seeing Cirrus panicking, and quickly ran over. His bright silver magic encased Cirrus in a calming embrace, the shimmering waves of magic washing over Cirrus’ body and making her heart rate drop back to normal levels over the course of a minute or so. Lazuli just sat there, terrified, glancing between Cirrus and Silver with a frightened look.

“Lazuli, what happened?” Silver asked her, slightly less frantic now that Cirrus was calming down. The mare seemed more focused on breathing than anything else, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

“I- sh-she- she woke up, I was- I was just trying to greet her, she-…she said she can’t see anything.”

“I-I can’t see…” Cirrus repeated, mumbling weakly, fearfully. “I can’t see…”

“…Lazuli, I need you to leave the room.” Silver said.

“What? You can’t be serious, I’m not-“

“This isn’t a request. Leave the room. I need to speak to Cirrus alone.”

“B-“

“Don’t say another word. I’ll come and get you once this is sorted out.”

Lazuli could tell that Silver wasn’t going to bend the rules to let her stay for this, and if she was in proper shape she might have argued further, but she didn’t have the strength. She started to back out of the room, her eyes focused on Cirrus – the only recurring thought in her head as she exited the bedroom was one thing. One thing that she had been trying to convince herself wasn’t true, but now she simply couldn’t avoid it.

I did this to her…