It is, right? I can’t tell.
Starlight winced as an errant shard of her alarm clock hit her on the horn.
Stupid thing shouldn’t have been so loud, she thought as she yawned and stretched her way out of bed, the smell of burnt metal and plastic filling her nostrils as she took a whiff. The unique scent of magical energy mixed with synthetic materials brought a smile to her face and woke her up like no coffee could.
She was still getting coffee, though. That was non-negotiable.
Her gaze caught an opened letter from Sunburst on the nightstand. Starlight grimaced, grasped it in her glow, then left.
“So, what is this supposed to be?” Trixie asked as she held a piece of paper this way and that, her voice ringing clear in Starlight’s ears through the din of Sugarcube Corner.
Starlight took a sip of her coffee. “I dunno,” she said as she bit into a croissant. “He just sent this to me with this note.”
Trixie looked over to see Starlight slip another piece of paper onto the table. She picked it up and looked it over.
“Is… this… vore.” Trixie exhaled. “Is this a question, or a statement?”
Starlight shrugged, the scent of bread and brewed liquids mildly distracting her. “I think it’s a question.” She shook her head and took another sip. “Look, I just got this letter with a cryptic note and a vaguely…” she trailed off. Starlight looked up. “Do you think that’s sexual?”
Trixie shook her head vigorously and sharply inhaled. “No, I do not think it’s—” Trixie looked over the picture again “—hm, maybe?” She grunted. “I don’t know what foals are into these days.”
“Well, anyway, it’s unsettling.” Starlight took another bite. “Do you think Sunburst is asking academically?”
Trixie’s gaze was lost in the image.
“Trixie?”
No answer.
Starlight slammed the table, jostling Trixie to attention.
“Wha? Who?”
Trixie pursed her lips at Starlight’s glare. “Whatever his intentions, it’s rather… entrancing.”
“To say the least,” Starlight said as she plucked the picture from Trixie’s grasp and put it away, then finished her coffee. “Anyway, I couldn’t figure out who to ask before I headed off to school.”
“Why don’t you ask someone at that school you go to?” Trixie asked as she floated the picture over to Starlight, who blushed as she slipped it in the envelope.
“I can’t do that!” Starlight said. “What if they think I’m weird?”
Trixie shrugged. “Just tell them it’s Sunburst’s picture.”
Starlight took a curt sip and stood up. “I’ll, uh, I’ll consider it,” she said as she walked away. “Remember to pay the bill. I can only bail you out so many times.”
Trixie waved. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Starlight sipped on her empathy cocoa, then placed it on her desk.
Mostly because there wasn’t much else to do. She supposed that was a good thing, though. Too much guidance counseling might indicate endemic issues with the student body, and that’d lead up to external investigations into Twilight’s teaching methods, or worse, inquiries into the home lives of the students, which could lead to international—
“H-hello?”
“Alacrity is the seed of dysfunction!”
Ocellus, the colorful young changeling who had entered her workspace, raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Starlight blinked a few times, then shook her head and giggled. “Sorry, you just caught me off guard.” She leaned forward onto her desk. “What’s up?”
“Well,” Ocellus blushed. “I think I made a new friend.”
“Okay, that’s good!” Starlight said. She waved a hoof. “I understand the goal of this school is to make friends, but why tell me?”
Ocellus bit her lip, then looked away. “It’s, um, like…”
Starlight smiled. “Just let it all out at once.”
What followed was a torrent of words that not even Discord himself could follow. Words tripping over words and blending into each other, words overlapping, and even words holding up other words in dark alleyways and taking their money. Starlight was pretty sure no single being could even make the sounds Ocellus was making with her throat.
So she sipped her empathy cocoa and nodded.
She then pursed her lips as an idea came to her.
“Hey, Ocellus,” Starlight said.
“—and then she was like oh I think you have a nice flank too and… oh, yes, Counselor Starlight?”
Starlight pulled out the cursed image and showed it to Ocellus. “I want you to tell me what’s in this picture.”
“—and then,” Twilight fumed, “and then you flash pornography at one of my students!”
Starlight shrugged with a blush. “I don’t… I don’t know if it’s pornography, actually?”
Twilight narrowed her eyes in the direction of the precise location of Starlight. “Well, Ocellus was under the impression that it was pornography, so I’m inclined to believe her.”
“Well, I’ll let you be the judge of that.” Starlight pulled out the picture and floated it over to Twilight. “You’ll know it when you see it, right?”
Twilight’s iron jaw clenched as she grasped the picture in her magic. “We’ll see about this por—” she started before her eyes caught what was in the picture. Her eyes widened, her jaw softened, and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “W-what is this, Starlight?”
“Iunno.” Starlight scratched her head. “Sunburst thinks it may be something called ‘vore’ and asked for my input.”
“Well, uh,” Twilight said as her face turned a deep shade of crimson, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave while I fully examine this.”
“Can’t I just—”
“Now.”
Starlight huffed as she turned tail and left. “Fine. Sheesh.” She slammed the door behind her and took a breath.
She’ll just have to tell Sunburst she never figured out if the picture was vore or not.
“Hey,” Rainbow Dash said as she entered the office.
“Hey,” Starlight returned.
A moment passed upon which Rainbow Dash left Twilight’s office and slammed the door. “H-hey,” she quavered.
“Hey.”
Starlight grunted and opened the door. “Is it vore or not—”
“I’M DOING RESEARCH LEAVE ME—”
Starlight slammed the door and pressed her lips together.
That seems like highly inappropriate research to do in a scholastic setting.
