Wilson takes a bath

by kapinder

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Other, Comedy, Tragedy, Fluttershy, Random, Adventure, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4453

Fluttershy tries to her best make sure Wilson gets clean

The 3rd story in the Wilson series.
When Wilson returned to ponyville last week, not once has he taken a bath.
Fluttershy cant take his lack of hygiene, so she tries her best to trick him into getting clean. With every attempt failing, she slowly becomes more insane and more drastic for him to get clean.
This story WAS going to be A LOT longer BUT I ran out of motivation :D
You COULD consider this an adventure for Fluttershy... in a way I guess... I don't know...
It's a tragedy: that Fluttershy has to live with somepony who has the Worst hygiene ever
It's sad: at around the end of the 2nd chapter
It's a comedy: due to the really stupid jokes I added

Published 2012-08-01 11:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-01 11:24:02 UTC

Pro-Log

"Hey Wilson," Fluttershy said knocking on his door. "Are you still alive? You haven't left your room in three days." The door opened and a grey fog left the room. When Fluttershy smelled is she said, "That's aweful, what smells so bad?"

"That's the smell of pollution," Wilson said walking out, taking off his gas mask. "I made this machine that can hold radiation, and use it as power. I was going to make some kind of ventilation, but got to lazy."

"Like... Gamma radiation?" Fluttershy asked quickly closing the door.

"Yeah, Gamma works the best."

"Is... is that even safe?" Fluttershy asked nervously. "Didn't you hear about the radiation disaster at Marenobyl." (I apologize if I offended anypony.)

"Well it's in my hooves," Wilson said. "So yeah... we are either completely safe, or completely screwed."

"Can you put the machine in your pawn shop insted?" Fluttershy said. "There is no way that radiation can be good for the animals, and the smell is putting most of them in shock."

"But that means I have to do stuff," Wilson said sighing.

"Please," Fluttershy begged.

"Fine... but you owe me."

Ugh...ok," Fluttershy said. "What do you want?"

"I want you..." Wilson said staring at Fluttershy while putting his hooves on her shoulders. "...To dance and sing the song Milkyshakes in the middle of Ponyville. And yes, you even have to give a lapdance to a random colt." (If you thought I was going to make this a love story... then you don't know me :D)

"Never in my life... will I do that, even if it's not in public..."

"Well that's a shame," Wilson said opening the door to his room and let the fog come back out. "I mean, at worst the animals will turn into cannibals just like on that movie The Mountins have Eyes, or Wrong Path."

"Okay fine I'll do it," Fluttershy said slamming the door shut. "But the second someone calls me a whore, I'm stopping."

"Hurray!"

"But you have to give a random lapdance to a colt also," Fluttershy said. "While I sing it."

"No"

"You have to be my background dancer."

"No."

"Background singer?"

"No."

"Stand there looking stupid."

"No."

"Go a day without wearing your steampunk wings."

"No."

"A day, wearing something that isn't a suit?"

"No."

"Go outside for ten hours."

"No."

"One hour?"

"No."

"Ask Twilight on a date."

"No."

"Rarity?"

"No."

"Ace?"

"Let me think about that... nahh."

"Let me have what ever I want in your pawn shop."

"No."

"One thing?"

"No."

"A picture frame?"

"No."

"Go to a store, buy the smallest box of condoms, and when everypony is looking, ask *is this the smallest you have?*"

"No."

"Buy extra absorbent tampons, and when everypony is looking, say *As you can see... I bleed pretty heavy once a month.*"

"Deal," the two then shook hooved to make it official.

"Ok and... done," Wilson said finishing the ventilation in his building. "Hopefully this place won't break down, like it normally does."

The major of Ponyville walked into what was Wilson's pawn shop, to now what is a nuclear reactor. She said, "Wilson, do you have the proper paperwork in order to harness radiation?"

"Ugh... does this gun count?" Wilson ask pointing a gun at the mayor. "It's not that much paperwork, but if you are going to make a big deal about this, my hoove just might twitch a little."

"Yeah okay you have the right paperwork," The major said nervously walking out. "Sorry for wasting your time. Just... you know... don't kill us all with radiation."

"Yeah, sure, whatever works," Wilson said taking off a hazmat suit. He opened a vent leading to the smoke of the radiation, inhalied it through his nose, closed the vent, and said, "...Smells a lot like death."

"Not your smartest idea," Ender said.

"I think..." Wilson said rocking back and forth. "I think I'm slightly high... should I be concerned?"

"Ugh... maybe," Ender said unsure of what to do. "You just exposed yourself to direct radiation, you might die."

"Sounds like fun," Wilson said leaning against a wall as his eyes slowly dilated. "Luckily... luckily... luckily I'm only using Alpha at the moment... luckily."

The day has passed and Wilson finally went home. Looking at the door, he was completely confused on how to open it. He tried hitting it with his head, throwing rocks at it, and then a spark of knowlegde came to his mine. He slowly inhaled and shouted, "Fluttershy... open the door! Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy opened the door and ask, "Why are you yelling?"

Wilson just continually screamed "Fluttershy." She then poked him and Wilson said, "Fluttershy!... oh hey Fluttershy, when did you get here?"

"Okay," Fluttershy sighed. "What did you get high off of this time?"

"Radiation," Wilson said. He took a few steps inside and fell to the ground, "It's some... good shit."

"I think the radiation is killing your brain cells," Fluttershy said as she closed the door.

"No no it's some... good shit," Wilson replied while crawing.

"Don't you think you should shower off all the radiation on you?" Fluttershy asked.

"No... it's good sh," Wilson said falling asleep. Fluttershy sighed as she picked him up, and carried him to his bed.

1: Fluttershy tries to get Wilson wet

(Don't you just love how misleading the chapter title is :D)

The sun has risen and Fluttershy went to check on Wilson. "Wilson, you still alive?"

"Go away," Wilson said talking into his pillow. "I feel like crap."

"Well that's because you thought it was a good idea to be directly exposed to radiation," Fluttershy said, moving the blanket off of him. When she noticed his skin was a dark brown color, she scream and ran to a corner of the room.

"Why are you yelling?" Wilson shouted while getting out of his bed.

"You... your skin," Fluttershy said nervously.

Wilson looked at his hoof and moved it around, knowing the dark brown color was cracking. "Hey... a layer of my skin turned into dirt," He said reaching for the knife. He scraped the knife against his skin saying, "Ahhhh!... just like shaving. Ahhh!... only with a knife. Ahhh!... bearly even hurts. Ahhh!... this knife is pretty sharp. Ahhh!... dang I cut myself that time. Ahhh!....... Ahhh!."

Fluttershy noticed that every time he scraped off the dirt, the worse the room smelled. Coughing she said, "Wilson you smell worse and worse every time you do that. Take a bath."

"Never!" Wilson demonically said. "Besides why should I? Ahhh!... this works too."

"But you will not smell bad after getting rid of the dirt, unlike doing this," Fluttershy said almost throwing up.

"Ahhh!... don't worry I know what to do," Wilson said reaching for an airfreshener and spraying it on himself. "There, now I smell like a... fresh summer breeze. Besides how would not taking a bath make my life any harder?"

*One reason later*

"Ahhh!... excuses," Wilson said leaving the house still shaving off the dirt.

"I'm going to laugh my ass off when you have to shave the dirt off you dick," Ender said following Wilson.

"Ahhh!... challange accepted."

Hours of pain have ended from shaving off the dirt, inside his store, Wilson noticed a bright red button. He studied it for a few minutes and went on to say, "What do you think this button does?"

"Well there is a note on top of it that says *Self Destruct Button, only a complete dumbass would push this*," Ender said. "Maybe it gives out free candy."

"Candy!" Wilson delightfully shouted about to press the button.

The door opened and in came Twilight, "Ugh Wilson... a lot of pegisi from Cloudsdale are saying the pollution is making them sick."

"Thats stupid," Wilson said opening a vent, and shoving Twilight's head in it. "The pollution is perfectly fine."

Twilight pulled her head out and started breathing heavily, "Are you... are you fucking insane?"

"A little bit."

"I should get Princess Celestia to confiscate this building from you."

"That's not going to happen," Wilson said holding his sword to Twilight's neck. "Because if anypony tries to do anything to this building... I'm coming for you."

Twilight teleported behind Wilson, "You really think that a sword scares me?" She asked laughing.

"No," Wilson replied while shaking a can and spraying it on Twilight's face. "But this does."

"Ahhh... what the hell is this, pepper spray?" Twilight said falling to the ground.

"Oh sorry wrong can," Wilson said while pulling out another can and spraying it on Twilight's face.

Twilight blinked a few times and noticed Ender walking up to her saying, "Hey... did you miss me?"

"No not you again!" she screamed running out of the building.

"Where are you going?" Ender asked chasing her. "I just want to rape you! ...Emotionally!"

The day has passed and Wilson went home, but he noticed his front door open. Slightly parinoid thinking the Slenderpony was in his house waiting to attack, he pushed the door open with a stick. A bucket of soupy water fell to the ground, Fluttershy jumped out from behind a couch and said. "Aha!... Darn it missed you."

"I will never bathe!" Wilson demonically said as his eyes turned black for a second.

"It's almost been two weeks," Fluttershy replied getting a towel to clean up the water. "Air fresheners can only do so much."

"Sure they will," Wilson said spraying an Air freshener on himself while closing the door to his room.

"But you could get lice and crabs."

"Crabs you say!" Wilson said opening his door and taking a step out. "...sounds awesome, crab legs go for about $12 a pound, and if they just randomly walk up to me, I could make a profit," He then closed his door. Being speechless, all Fluttershy could do was facehoof.

The sun has risen and Wilson awoke coughing. "I fee like crap."

"Good your awake," Fluttershy said throwing water on him from a bucket she was holding.

"What the fu," Wilson said rolling out of bed, just dodging the water. "Good thing my bed sheets are waterproof."

Fluttershy dropped the bucket, "Oh come on!"

"Now if you could excuse me for a bit... I have to go and, Bleh!... deal with radiation sickness," Wilson said walking into the bathroom and throwing up. Fluttershy quickly closed the bathroom door and locked it, trapping Wilson in. When he tried to open it he said, "Fluttershy open the door, I have to go screw around with radiation."

"I'll let you out once you take a bath," She said slightly laughing.

"You do know there is a window in here right?" Wilson said opening a window and exiting the house. "I'll be back at around seven tonight. Bye"

"Damn," Fluttershy said hitting the ground.

"Ender did say free candy," Wilson said looking at the big red button.

He was just about to push it, when Ender teleported in the building and said, "K, I'm back."

"What I miss?"

"Well she ran to her house or something, her pet named Spike got worried, got some colts from a hospital to put her in an insane asylum for the night. And I was screwing with her head constantly the whole time," Ender answered.

"So... she won't say a word to me for about a week?"

"Maybe two if your lucky."

"Awesome," Wilson said switching the reactor from Alpha to Beta radiation. "I still don't see how radiation that isn't Gamma, could be harmful."

"Maybe most of the ponies are parinoid," Ender said sitting in a chair near the corner of the room. "Or just high."

A few hours have passed and then it happened. "Wilson," Fluttershy said entering the building with a fire hose, "I will not eat, sleep, take care of an animal, or anything else until you are clean." Wilson quickly thought of a way out of this. As he got on a gas mask, he opened a vent letting all of the smoke in the room. She was barely able to see anything, so she turned on the hose, and randomly sprayed it in different directions. As soon as she ran out of water, the door behind her closed. Coughing heavily trying to open the door she said, "Wilson... Wilson open the door I can't breath. Wilson please open the door."

"Don't you think you should let her out?" Ender asked.

"She will be fine," Wilson said.

"Let me out!" Fluttershy scream.

"Wilson I really thing you should..."

"She is fine," Wilson said barricading the door with his body.

"Wilson you really should open the door," Ender nervously said.

"She is perfectly fi..."

"Open the fucking door!" Ender shouted.

"Fine," Wilson said opening the door and pulling Fluttershy out.

There layed Fluttershy where she didn't make a single movement. Ender said, "Dude... you have to give her that kiss of life thing."

"Where in sleeping beauty, was there are part about the filly almost sufficating from smoke?" Wilson asked.

"No I mean like... CPR of something like that."

"What does kissing have to do with CPR?" Wilson asked. "I know how CPR works... BREATH!" He screamed punching Fluttershy in the stomach. Fluttershy woke up coughing heavily.

"I'm almost certain that is not how CPR works, "Ender said.

"Well she is breathing," Wilson said. "Your dumb idea was that I had to kiss her."

Still coughing, Fluttershy said, "Your a... dick."

"Shouldn't you take her to the hospital?" Ender asked looking at Fluttershy as she blacked out.

"She will be fine."

"...WILSON!"

"Fine I'll take her to the hospital," Wilson said picking up Fluttershy.

Getting to the hospital, a doctor asked, "Okay, so how did she get this way?"

"Well..." Wilson said. "She inhaled a lot of smoke, sufficated, and I gave her CPR."

"Well we will keep her here for the night, and if she recovers, we will let her go," The doctor said.

"Okay..." Wilson said.

"We will also let you know if we notice anything unordinary about her while she is here."

"Okay..."

"I'm sorry your wife got like this."

"Okay..."

"At most she will be in here for a week, but that's if something REALLY bad happens over the night."

"Okay..."

"Thats all."

"Okay..."

"You can go now."

"Okay..."

"Get the hell out before I call security."

"Okay..." Wilson said leaving the room.

"I ment get out of the hospital."

"Okay..."

"NOW!"

"Okay..." Wilson said leaving the hospital.

"Fucking idiot," the doctor wispered to himself while facehoofing.

Wilson decided to go home early. When he opened the door, all of the animals ran away due to the way he smelled. "I'm bored," Wilson said walking in and closing the door.

"Go masturebate to some porn or something," Ender said.

"...Good idea," Wilson said running into his room and putting on a movie.

Five minutes passed of Ender relaxing on a coach, he then realized, "Wait a minute... now I'm bored."

"Go anoy Twilight!" Wilson shouted.

"Hallucinations wore off!"

Wilson sighed as he grabbed a can of his hallucination spray. He stabbed a hole in it with his knife and threw it out of his window.

*Meanwhile at the library*

"No Spike I am not insane," Twilight said walking around. "It's Wilson's fault for my freakouts." A can broke through the window and hit Twilight in the head. She noticed it was Wilson's hallucionation spray and thought to herself, "Oh no."

Ender teleported in the place saying, "Hey... did you miss me?"

Screaming, Twilight ran to the corner of the library shaking. Spike sighed and said, "I'll call the asylum again."

The next day came, hours passed, and Wilson was board. After turning the radiation from Beta to Gamma, he stood on top of the ventilation tower wondering why less smoke than usual was leaving it. Ender teleported next to Wilson saying, "So... when do you think Fluttershy will get out of the hospital?"

"I'm going to say about... six seconds," Wilson said.

*Six seconds later*

"Wilson!" Fluttershy screamed flying above him while holding a sponge. "You will get clean... even if I die trying to make if happen." She charged at Wilson, flying as fast as she could. Taking a step to the left, he was able to dodge her attack, and she flew right into the ventilation tower. She then shot out like a missle and fell to the ground, as her skin started to glow.

Wilson dropped down to the ground saying, "I dont mean to scare you or anything, but if you dont get a chemicel shower within sixty minutes... you will most likely die." Completely scared and in shock, Fluttershy flew as fast as she could back to the hospital.

2: It's like Marenobly... but worse

Laying down on a couch inside his house, Wilson decided to watch a movie. The front door opened, and Fluttershy stomped her way in. "I had to go through a chemical shower... just because you wouldn't take a bath," Fluttershy said slamming the door shut. "Do you know how much a chemical shower hurts?"

"Oh hey," Wilson said getting up. "I was wondering when you..."

"Do you know!" Fluttershy shouted. "How much... a chemical fucking shower... hurts!?"

"I'm guessing... a lot."

"Because of you!" Fluttershy yelled giving Wilson The Stare. "I now have radiation poisoning which is causing my organs to fail! Just because you... wouldn't take a bath."

"That kind of sucks," Wilson said not really caring.

With rage in her eyes, Fluttershy punched Wilson as had as she could in his chest. She then proceeded to drag him by his tail and said, "You are taking a bath... NOW!"

"Noooo!" Wilson screamed dragging his hooves against the ground.

Fluttershy threw his body against the bathtub, she then walked in and slammed the door shut. Being slightly dizzy, Wilson was unable to see or hear Fluttershy turn on the water, and add soap into the bathtub. Regaining full consciousness, Wilson tried to get up; but Fluttershy picked him up over her head and said, "You will finally be clean..."

As Fluttershy threw him into the bathtub, Wilson felt as if time slowed down and that the only thing he could yell was, "Noooo!" As he made contact with the water, he could slowly feel his skin burn.

"You brought this on yourself," Fluttershy said hystarically laughing, while putting shampoo on her hoove. Slowly but painfully she washed Wilsons hair, they screams of lice could be heard as they jumped out of his head from every direction. The water turned a glowing neon green... most likely due to the radiation all over his body. Fluttershy then proceeded to get some steelwool, and started scrubbing Wilson's face until it would bleed. In complete shock, he couldn't move or say a word. Fluttershy then took some sandpaper and used it as a nail filer.

For almost an hour, a lot of other stuff occured that I was to lazy to think of... and he was finally clean. Crawling out of the bathroom with a trail of blood following him, Wilson then said, "To... clean... to... clean..." Fluttershy then filled a bucket with rubbing alcohol and dumped it on Wilson, he screamed saying, "Ahhh that burns just like water!" Fluttershy then covered Wilson from head to hoof in gauze, and carried him to his room.

"Good...night," Fluttershy said as she breathed heavily slamming the door shut.

"Ender..."

"What?" Ender asked walking towards the bed.

"I think... I think I'm going to die."

"That kind of sucks."

"Yeah... it does," Wilson said closing his eyes.

The next day came... "Wilson," Fluttershy said opening the door. "Are you alive?"

"...No," Wilson said talking into his pillow.

"There are a few people here who want to see you," Fluttershy said, pulling the blanket off of him.

"Tell them that I'm dead."

"It's an angry mob."

"Okay I'm getting up," Wilson said getting out of his bed. He pulled off all of the gauze and noticed his body was covered in scratches and scars. He then put on his suit and walked to the front door. As Wilson opened the door, he noticed a mob of ponies which turned out to be everypony from Ponyville and Cloudsdale. "...What's up?"

"Wilson, your nuclear reactor is a time bomb, and we want you to shut it down now," The major said.

"Yeah!" everyone in the mob shouted.

"What are you talking about," Wilson said walking outside. "The reactor is in perfect condition." And as he said that, his building exploded. Looking at the mayor, Wilson said. "Ugh... we should most likely... run... like now."

2013- Public announcement was made for every living thing to find shelter underground, in bomb shealters/ basements/ subway stations

2015- Radiation from a nuclear reactor exploding, has now covered the entire world.

2018- Radiation all across the planet is now passed 1000 Ci

2020- Mutation of new born life is at a 87% chance worldwide

2021- Mutations have become aggresive, and are only carnivorous

2023- The deathrate of ponies and animals of all ages has gone up by 780%

2026- Radiation has disappeared from 90% of the earth's surface, but the atmosphere causes instant mutation of all living things.

2029- Physical contact with any mutation causes instant death.

2030- Earth is going through a nuclear winter

It was the year 2033 and in the Maretro Subway Station, Wilson was trying his hardest to keep Fluttershy alive. "Shit shit shit," Wilson said freaking out. "Your blood toxicity is at 94%. Hold on Fluttershy, I promise that I will do my best to keep you alive."

"Wilson," Fluttershy coughed laying in a bed. "There is nothing you can do to save me."

"Don't say that," Wilson said holding Fluttershy in his arms. "I will help you in any way possible."

(Play the song How could this happen to me By: Simple Plan before reading on)

"You know *cough* just as well as I do... that I'm not going to live," Fluttershy said resting her head on Wilson's shoulder.

"It's not true," Wilson said hugging her with tears in his eyes. "You can't die... I refuse for it to happen."

"*Cough* I'm sorry Wilson," Fluttershy wispered closing her eyes. "This could have *couch* been prevented... if only you... would... have taken a bath..."

Wilson felt Fluttershy's body become cold, he layed her back on the bed and screamed, "NOOOOOoooooo! How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes. Got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away. I'm sick of the life, I just want to scream! How could this happen to me?" Wilson wiped the tears from his eyes and placed a gun to his head. "I can't... and I refuse... to live a life without you." He then closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

Ehh-Pee-Log

"And that's why you should take a bath," Fluttershy said to Wilson.

(Yes this whole story was just the reason Fluttershy gave to Wilson... how busted are your balls?)

"So what your saying is..." Wilson said. "If I dont take a bath... you will go insane, forcefully give me a bath, my building will explode, you will die, and I will commit?"

"Yes."

"Ahhh!... good reason but not good enough," Wilson said shaving the dirt off of him.

"Please take a bath," Fluttershy pleaded giving Wilson puppy eyes.

"...Nah," Wilson said. Fluttershy sighed, and then punched him in the nuts. "Okay fine... I'll take a bath."

"Good," Fluttershy said smiling.

*One bath later*

"Okay I'm clean..." Wilson said putting on his suit.

"Great, see you later" Fluttershy replied waving goodbye.

Wilson opened the front door and noticed a angry mob of ponies from Ponyville and Cloudsdale at his house. "Wilson we want you to turn off the reactor now!" the mayor yelled. "It is a time bomb on the verge of destruction."

"Pfft," Wilson said walking outside. "It's perfectly fine." And as he said that, a part of the ventilation tower on his building fell off. Wilson then looked at the mayor and said, "...I'll get right on it."

Fluttershy was in the middle of Ponyville holding a radio. She breathed heavily and started to sweat, noticing Wilson staring at her in the corner she closed her eyes, let go of the radiot, and started it. She started dancing to the beat, and then sang, "My milkshakes bring all the colts to my den, and then I, turn them into men. And then I *ding* turn them into men. I'd teach you, but you will never be a perfect ten. I know you want it, the thing that makes me, and what the colts want to see. They lose their minds, they all unwind, so I think it time. La la-la la la, keep it cold. La la-la la la, that's what I was told. My milkshakes brink all the colts to the den..." Fluttershy continued to sing the song, people gathered around her in every direction, looking at her in complete shock. Then came the part where Fluttershy was supose to give someone a lapdance. Out of all the ponies to pick, she chose Ace.

As she continued to sing and dance right on top of Ace, the only thing in his mind was, "And I jizzed... in my pants. If she tells anyone, I'll say she's a slut. I could get away saying she rubbed my butt. But just look at the way she is dancing so I jizzed... in my pants."

The song was over and Fluttershy stood in place. She looked around and noticed that everypony was staring at her. Feeling so embarrassed, she closed her eyes trying to hold in her tears. Insted of everypony calling her a whore, they all cheered. Fluttershy noticed everypony clapping there hooves. She then walked away saying, "Ugh... thank you." She then walked up to Wilson and said, "Okay, now for you to do your part."

Wilson was in a store looking for the most absorbent tampons he could find. After a few minutes of searching, he went to the cheakout counter and the cashier said, "Will that be all?"

Noticing everypony staring at him, Wilson said, "Yes. As you can see... Fluttershy bleeds pretty heavy once a month." Everyone laughed as he walked out.

"What the hell!" Fluttershy angerly said. "I told you to say *As you can see... I* not Fluttershy... *I bleed pretty heavy once a month*."

"And I did say that you do bleed pretty heavy," Wilson said smiling. Fluttershy could do nothing more then just facehoof at how she screwed up. As Wilson walked away, he started to sing, "Trololololo lololo lololo... Trololololo."