Starlight Becomes a Capitalist

by Amethyst_Dawn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Sunset Shimmer, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Equestria Girls
Length: 1968

Starlight Glimmer learns the about the pure glory of Capitalism... shenanigans ensue.

During her latest visit with Sunset Shimmer, Starlight glimmer inquires innocently about the human world's economic status. Sunset Shimmer decides to teach her the old-fashioned way: learning via experience.

Little does she realize what she's about to cause.

Featured July 18th-??? 2018 (I wasn't paying attention...)

Published 2018-07-18 09:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-18 09:20:02 UTC

E Pluribus Unum

"So what are we doing here again?" Starlight asked, shuffling her feet nervously on the sidewalk as her friend shoved her along. The classic black tuxedo Sunset had forced her to wear was a tad bit restricting to her movement, but not nearly as uncomfortable as it looked.

"I told you," Sunset grunted, ceasing her shoving as soon as they reached a street corner. "I'm going to teach you about the wonderful world of capitalism by helping you take part in it!"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "I understand what capitalism is, Sunny. It's the same system we use back home..."

"Maybe, but have you ever run your own business?"

Starlight gave her friend a deadpan stare.

"Brainwashing an entire town and establishing socialism doesn't count." Sunset asserted, returning the glare.

"Fine," Starlight conceded, shrugging indifferently. "But is this outfit really necessary?"

"You gotta look the part of a businesswoman for what we're about to do."

"Alright, I guess that makes sense. But... this?" Starlight lifted a single finger, and aimed it towards a small top hat suspended above her head by a thin metallic band. It leaned back so that, from the right angles, it appeared to be floating in midair. "I question the necessity of this."

"That?" Sunset giggled, and extended her index finger: pressing Starlight's nose like a button. "That- boop! -just looks cute on you."

Starlight wrinkled her nose slightly, but otherwise ignored the comment in favor of getting this whole situation over with as fast as humanly possible. She looked around the busy street, only noticing a few vendors here and there and the occasional pedestrian stopping just long enough to purchase their wares. She returned her attention to Sunset, who had somehow changed her own outfit to resemble an accountant, and had pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She looked back at Starlight through a pair of false glasses, and gave a smug grin.

"A little trick Pinkie taught me, don't think too hard about it." She winked, answering the unspoken inquiry. She held up a large clipboard, and jotted down a few numbers with a ballpoint pen. "Now then, let's get to the fun part. I have five hundred dollars handy. You see that Lemonade stand on the corner there?"

Starlight paused for a brief moment, then searched the four street corner's until she found her query. "Uhh... Squirt's Squeezings, right?"

"That's the one," Sunset nodded nonchalantly, "and you're going to buy it from him."

"... WHAT?!"

Starlight finally let loose a breath she didn't realize she was holding in as she walked away from the lemonade stand, the sign above having changed to read "Glimmer's Grouchy Lemonade". Sunset's smirk was oozing with pride as she stepped towards her entrepreneur-in-training.

"So how did it go?" She asked calmly. Starlight let out a relieved chuckle, and rubbed the back of her neck.

"You really overestimated his asking price, Sunny." She stated, handing back fifteen green bills. "He only wanted fifteen for the stand if we promised to pay him by the hour."

Sunset nodded, and took the cash. She hurriedly wrote down a few more numbers, and motioned her head towards an additional stand down the road. "Well, his establishment isn't our only target..."

There was a knock on the solid oak door, stirring Starlight from her thoughts and provoking her to straighten out her jet black tie. She nodded to Sunset from behind her desk, who promptly stood up to open the entrance. On the other side stood a tall, green-skinned man with grey hair cut in an almost military stlye. His eyes met Starlight's with a determined squint, and his mustache bristled. He looked less than amused, and Starlight braced herself for a heated encounter.

"So, you're the Sour Queen, eh?" The man asked with a mischievous tone, stomping into the office with little ceremony. Starlight cringed slightly at the nickname. She'd been given it after buying out every single lemonade stand in the city, and driving them all towards greater profit with clever marketing over the course of a single afternoon. She decided to apply some strategy to this particular encounter, having done enough research to know what her appointment liked to see in businesspeople.

"That's what they call me," she confirmed with a smile, leaning back in her plush chair calmly. "But I suppose the nickname might need reworking, you seem to be in a mood a fair piece more sour than my best products right now, Mr. Mason."

Starlight noticed Sunset freeze out of the corner of her eye, but she maintained eye contact. J.J.J. Mason's brow furrowed as his glare doubled in intensity, and Sunset waited with baited breath as the air grew thick. Suddenly, and without warning, Mason burst out into a fit of uproarious laughter. His head tilted backwards until the girls thought for sure he'd fall over backwards before he straightened back up, face red with amusement.

"Alright kid, I'll humor you. You said you wanted to talk business, so I'm here."

Starlight quirked an eyebrow, and slowly rose from her chair. "'Talk' business? Oh, no no no..." She tittered, resting both hands on her desk as she gave the larger man a look of pure, cocky confidence.

"... Mr. Mason, I am business."

Sunset brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. Her form-fitting green dress displaying her figure as she draped herself dramatically over her boss' desk. It had only been two days, and GlimSun-Corp. had grown massively. Two girls from the middle of highschool now stood atop a mighty financial empire of their making, and they kept their business running smooth and efficiently. The woman in charge, Starlight Glimmer, stood in the highest office in the city; staring out the window onto everything she now owned with a benevolent smile. She stayed out of politics, but by all other means, she could've run the city if she wanted to.

"Sunset..." she asked calmly, hardly turning from the window. "What's out income per second at this rate?"

"Thirteen sepdecatillion dollars profit per second, ma'am." Sunset replied, sliding off the desk and sauntering towards the window. "We did it, Glimmey. We've reached the top, and now we can go home."

Starlight kept her eyes transfixed on the city below as Sunset rested her head on her shoulder. The innumerable-ionaire contemplated the implications of quitting. Should she? Should she really stop now, when the world was wrapped around her fingers?

She looked up to the moon, now successfully colonized and monetized. Low-gravity theme parks, werewolf reservations, and even a few cloning operations had been built. The foundations for an outreach to the stars had been laid, advancements in technology were few, but Starlight had lead the economy to new heights and priorities. Soon, a starship of her company's design would be launching an expedition to Mars, and from there she would lead humanity to spread to the solar system and beyond.

By the end of the week, she could own all of the solar system. And if she was patient, by next month... the known galaxy.

"No,"

Sunset's head lifted from Starlight's shoulder, and the amethyst-eyed girl could feel her best friend's confused gaze. She remained still as stone, unable to look Sunset in the eye.

"I have only begun to build my empire, earth is but a pebble compared to my plans for our race. Soon we will reach to the farthest stars, and call them our homes." A fierce glint flickered in her eyes, and her mouth twitched into a most wicked smile. "The ship that carries humanity's fate shall sail unto new shores, and from here on out... I shall be the one at the helm. All will call me their Empress, and I will reign with love for my people."

The color drained from Sunset's face as she took a step back. "Wha... who have you become?!"

Starlight turned, and snapped her fingers. By her mental command, the nanomachines that composed her diamond-blue tuxedo began to rearrange themselves until the look of her clothing resembled nothing designed by man nor Rarity before. A golden collar like that of a fish's fins rose from what had become a sleeveless, violet gown that draped a full yard onto the floor. Black gloves tipped with gold fingers adorned her hands, each knuckle bejeweled by a gem of a different color, and a large kunzite framed in the center of the back of each hand. She spoke with an authority beyond her, and there was a sound in her voice that made Sunset wish to flee.

"I am Starlight Glimmer, soon-to-be goddess of all the starlight that has shone long enough to reach our planet." She lowered her head in a questioning glare. "And whom would you be?"

Sunset barely tried to answer the question as she ran towards her friend: seizing her by the shoulders and shaking her violently.

"Starlight!" She cried out desperately. "This isn't real! This isn't you! Wake up! Please, for the love of god, wake up!"

With one smooth move of her arms, Starlight wrestled away from Sunset, and held her firmly in an inescapable grip.

"If you wish to go back home, then you have my blessing to do so..." she chuckled, leaning down to whisper in Sunset's ear. "But I'm staying, dear Sunny. I have a galaxy to run."

As soon as she was released, Sunset ran out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her. She had to find Twilight Sparkle, and she had to find her now.

Twilight stared at the scene in front of her with mix of shock and melancholy understanding. It was both unexpected and predictable that Starlight would give in this much this quickly to such trivial pursuits. She rubbed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, and turned away.

"What's the name of this game again?" She asked, resting her other hand on her hip as she leaned against the doorway.

"It's, uhh... Adventure... Capitalist...?" Sunset answered uneasily, feeling an impossible amount of guilt about the entire situation. Both girls looked back into the room where Starlight sat upon the bed: her hair was a mess, her clothes were dank, and her eyed were red and baggy. An unnerving smile was glued onto her face as she furiously tapped the screen of her smartphone, laughing like a maniac. There was a single mantra she kept saying over and over.

"After Mars, the galaxy... after Mars, the galaxy... after Mars, the galaxy..."

Twilight sighed and closed the door slowly, looking Sunset dead in the eyes. "Go get Pinkie, she can take away Starlight's phone. Then lock her in there, wait for her to fall asleep, and I'll take her home. She'll wake up in a day or two, and we'll pretend like this never happened for at least a month. Got it?"

Sunset nodded.

"Now then," Twilight added impatiently. "What did we learn?"

Sunset grinned sheepishly. "Heheh... heh... never give an Equestrian an addictive mobile game."

Twilight nodded, satisfied with the answer. Though her tone remained stern as she spoke again.

"I thought you would've learned that after you showed me Slither.io."

Author's Note

... IT'S AN ADDICTIVE GAME SUE ME!

This game has completely distracted me from everything I was supposed to be doing over the past two days, so I figured I might as well spread my torment to all you fine folk. :pinkiecrazy:

As always, thumbs up or down if you liked or disliked it. Please leave a comment so that I feel loved. And don't be shy about offering criticism even if this is a playful bit of nonsense.

Until Next Time, God Bless You!
~Amethyst Dawn :heart: