Baloney Sandwhich

by sunshinemonster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Cadance, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 1391

A game of BS

Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and Discord play a game of BS.

Published 2018-07-19 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-19 03:10:01 UTC

BS!

Author's Note

Okay, BS stands for something else, but in the World of Equestria it is called Baloney Sandwich.

Which, by the way, Baloney means foolish or deceptive talk; nonsense.

Oh wait, the sandwich is spelled Bologna. Ooopsies! Oh well! 🙃

BS from now on will be known as Baloney Sandwich!

BS!

Another quiet, boring day, and four alicorns teleported into the Royal Room of Baloney Sandwiches, along with a Discord.

"So what's the urgent matter?" Discord asked, snapping his fingers to make the deck of cards on the crystal table turn into a house of cards.

Celestia grinned childishly, "BS!"

"Baloney Sandwich?" Discord replied, leaning against the cards, which stayed in place, not even shifting the slightest.

"Precisely," Celestia replied, "Let's get started!" Her face was childish, happiness and competitiveness mixed together.

"Since youngest goes first," Twilight said, shuffling the cards and dealing them to the five players with magic, "I thought I'll start."

"Nope," Luna countered, "It's the one who's spent the most time trapped somewhere, which is me."

"No," Discord replied, "The one with the most powerful magic. Which is, spoiler alert, me."

"Actually, Discord," Celestia glared at Discord, "I'm most important. Now that that's out of the way, let me start."

Cadance sighed, "Ever heard of Ace of Spades?"

"Right."

"And I have the Ace of Spades," Cadance continued, dropping the Ace of Spades face up in the center of the table with her magic.

"Now I go!" Celestia and Discord shouted simultaneously.

"Person to the left of me," Cadance reminded them.

"Which is me," Discord grinned, "Two 2's."

"One 3" Twilight continued.

Luna pulled out four cards, "Four 4's."

"BS!" Twilight yelled, flipping over the cards, before sinking back down into her chair. "Darn it."

"Take them!" Luna grinned, and shoved the cards into Twilights neat hand of cards.

Celestia pulled out a single card. "One five."

"One 6"

"Two 7's"

"BS" Luna said.

"Ugh," Discord sighed, snapped his fingers to grab the deck of cards, and sank into his chair, literally, disappearing from sight.

"My turn," Twilight dropped one card into the center, "One 8."

Discord popped out of the center of the table, shouting "BSSSSS!", before slithering back to his chair in snake form.

"Sorry, take it!" Twilight replied, and flipped over the card, showing an 8.

Discord smiled sheepishly, and snapped his claw, the 8 slipping into place.

"One 9"

"One ten"

The game continued for a bit, BS's being called, and a lot of fun happening, including Celestia flipping the table over with her magic, Luna "accidently" dropping a star on the table, Discord changing all the spades into his face, Twilight changing them back to normal, and a dancing teapot. Needless to say, the game continued on through all these disasters. Princess of the Sun never leaves a game of BS unfinished. Neither does Discord. The competition between the two was literally about to cause a supernova.

"One Jack." Discord announced, and dropped a card onto the ever growing pile.

"BS," Celestia cheered, and flipped over the card. "But I have four Jack's! This can't be possible!"

"Oh, oopsies," Discord snapped, and the card changed back into it's original number, five.

Everypony glared at Discord. "No cheating allowed."

"But Celestia still has to take the pile!" Discord replied, "It was a Jack!"

"No I don't," Celestia replied mater-of-factly, "You still lied."

Discord sighed, and snapped his fingers, the cards disappearing from the pile, and reappearing in Discord's huge hand of cards.

Twilight dropped a card in the center of the table, "One queen."

"BS." Cadance said quickly.

Twilight took her card back as it was the only one on the table. "Do you have four queens?" she asked.

"One king." Luna said.

"BS." Twilight replied quickly, using her magic to put the cards in Luna's hand.

"One Ace."

"BS."

"Four 2's."

"Four 3's."

"Two 4's."

"BS."

"One five."

"BS."

"Why do I have a feeling that everyone has four of everything?" Celestia asked, looking down at her hand of cards, four 6's, four 8's, four Jack's, and four Queen's.

"Since we do!" Twilight laughed, and started rolling around on the floor kicking her hooves.

Luna looked at Twilight, before saying in a stern voice, "Such behavior is highly befitting of a Princess." Luna cracked up after that sentence. "I also have four of maybe all of my cards," she giggled.

"And so do I," Discord answered.

Cadance smiled, "I'll let you guys guess what I have."

The game continued on, with somepony or Discord calling BS almost every turn. The cards changed hooves once every so often, but nearing morning, everypony still had about the same number of cards.

Twilight yawned, "I need to sleep now," She dropped her cards in the center. Cadance and Luna followed suit, dropping their cards in the middle.

The three of them stumbled out of the room, and fell sound asleep in the guest rooms which were a couple rooms away. They didn't even notice that the rooms may or may not have been occupied by some VIP's, Very Important Ponies.

A couple days later, and hundreds of cups of coffee later, the game of BS was still going....

What happened?

Years later, Equestria has changed dramatically while Celestia and Discord's never ending game of Baloney Sandwich continued.

Celestia stepped out of the room, a grin on her face. "I've won! I've won!"

"And I lost," Discord muttered, snapping his fingers and disappearing to somewhere in Equestria.

As she walked down the halls, Celestia noticed that the guards were all dressed in purple, and whispering something, glancing at her every so often.

A grown dragon that had the same coloring as Spike walked through the halls.

Celestia stepped outside, and noticed the sun was a rainbow, and everything outside seemed to shimmer in the rainbow light.

"Celestia!" Twilight cried, and ran over, her friends at her side.

The first thing Celestia noticed was that Rainbow Dash was an alicorn.

The Spike-looking dragon also walked in.

"Princess Celestia!" the dragon shouted, "Why did that game take so long?"

"Spike!" Twilight said, "Let's explain what's happened in the past five years to Celestia first."

"I'd like that," Celestia nodded, "Let's start with WHY IN EQUESTRIA IS THE SUN RAINBOW?"

"Erm," Rainbow Dash muttered, "That probably has something to do with me being the Princess of the Weather now."

"Sombra is now king of the Shadow Empire." Seeing the look on Celestia's face, she quickly put in, "He's reformed, and the Shadow Empire is made up of his kind."

"So, I'm no longer needed?" Celestia asked, grimacing.

"Well, you can take over the sun for me," Rainbow answered, "But Luna is currently leader of Equestria. Me, Twilight, Applejack, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Bell, we serve as a council, we make decisions together."

"Wait," Celestia blinked, "WHAT?!"

"Yeah," Twilight answered, "Sorry, but you've got no place in leading anymore. Although, there'll be a vote in a couple months for a Council Members!"

Twilight paused for a minute, allowing Celestia to take all of this in, "Let's start with the first year.... "

"Rainbow here became an Alicorn within a week of us leaving that game of BS. That year, Yakyakistan also gifted us a statue of Luna, Rainbow, and me. We returned the favor with a statue of the Yak Prince and some of their leaders. The Grifon's started their civil war nearing the end of the first year."

"Second year, Luna and I decided to change your lightening rod guard uniforms to some colors more suiting us. We also remodeled the entire castle, it was too yellow for us."

"Third year, I made a breakthrough, it turns out the more an Alicorn uses it's magic, the more powerful her magic becomes."

Celestia gasped, "So you are probably the most powerful Alicorn in all of Equestria?"

"Alicorn, yes. Pony, no. Third year, some wizards from a far away land of Hogwarts came, and created a small settlement. They are very advanced in spell and potion making, so Albert Severus is here helping us learn their magic, and Tempest Shadow's son, Thunder Strike, is there, helping them learn our form of magic. "

"Fourth year, not much. Fifth year, Flurry Heart started school, Sunburst and Sunset Glimmer are teaching her."

Celestia blinked, "I missed a lot."