The author is not responsible for bad puns whatsoever.
View Online
The author is not responsible for bad puns whatsoever.
*Knock knock*
Finally, it's time. All the waiting, all the planning, all the... fantasizing, it will all pay off. Remember, take it slow. Play cool, be polite, have a plan to f-
"Ah, hello there."
He blinked. Dammit, He thought, I didn't even realize the door had opened already.
Snapping out of his thoughts, Princess Sureshot looked up... only to see the most beautiful of creatures to ever exist.
That slender frame, those shapely legs, but even more then that, her face. Sweet Celestia, he thought, using the name of his sister to signify how serious he felt, Is it even legal to look like that?.
He saw a perfectly styled indigo mane, hanging over one her eyes. Speaking of eyes, the other one was a big black orb surrounded by an azure ring, itself topped of by long lavish lashes, obviously worked on to make them stand out even more. If one were to take a picture of only her eyes, and mix it amongst a thousand others, he would still instantly recognize them. And to finish it all of, that smile. That, damned smile, the one that immediately caught his eye, and honestly never stopped since. It was like Faust herself was smiling at him, there's no better comparison.
Right, He suddenly realized, one too many times, I'm looking at a goddess.
A godess who's smile crept up a bit in the corner.
"Are... you alright?" She asked, a voice that could even impress Fluttershy's choir.
Sureshot snapped back to attention, again. He composed himself for a moment, straightening himself.
"Eh, sure. I guess I was just stunned by seeing such a beauty?" He said, a kind of goofy smile on his face, causing Rarity to giggle.
"Oh, you flatterer, you." She said, stepping back a bit, "Come, follow me."
After closing the door of the Boutique behind him, Sureshot turned around... only to be greeting by a jiggling backside, dressed in a glittering big dress. A rather large backsi- No, not yet. There will be time for that later. He caught himself, slightly shaking his head, before entering the main room.
There, he was greeted with extravagance. Sure, it looked the same like it always did, but that didn't matter to him. One could easily see how talented Rarity was as a designer not only for clothes. The room was bathed in warm colours, and candles lined the whole room. Though it was more dark then usual, this only further served to set the mood, which he thought was doing that quite well. There, in the middle of the room stood a large, round table, decorated with a simple white cloth, with two fancy sets of plate and cutlery on it. Rarity motioned for him to take a seat.
"So, my princess." She said, that slight smile again, and a tone that just riled him up. "Do you find everything to your liking?" She asked, fluttering her lashes. As if it ever wouldn't be, he thought, but said "Of course. I can't wait to taste your surely divine cuisine." Rarity only refinedly laughed again, before leaving the room, undoubtedly to check on the food.
While waiting for her to come back, he let his vision wander around, but his thoughts were elsewhere. He remembered the first time he saw her, at the gala, terribly disappointed by how his nephew has treated her. He was too shy to talk to her back then, and still kind of is, but its gotten better. After inquiring with her sister, and learning that she was not only one of the most beautiful mares he ever saw, but that she was also one of the famed elements, generosity no less, not a day went by that he didn't think of her.
Sure, the elements were not as known at the time, since news about his then possessed younger sister kidnapping his older sister was rather successfully kept low, the more threats that she defeated with her friends, the more his fascination grew. Here was not only a refined mare, easily moving about any rank of society, but also a mare that sure knew how to kick some flank, strong-willed and unwavering in the face of even the direst of threats.
Sure, much the same could be said about the others, one even a fellow princess now, but she-
His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and seven plates floated in, followed by his host herself. "Here we are then. Apologies if it might have taken too long, but only the best will do." She said, a bright smile on her face.
Sureshot couldn't believe his eyes. If one says something like that, another would think of foie grass, hop shoots, or even vanilla sticks, but no. Here lies, perfectly arranged on seven plates, an extravagant buffet of horseshoe fries and hayburgers. He looked up in shock, staring at Rarity but not knowing what to say. She only giggled in response, before saying: "Oh, come now darling, surely you don't think I would make something randomly on the off chance that you wouldn't like it? I asked Princess Celestia about it, and she responded that you dislike the more, ah, expensive types of foods."
After setting it all down, she added with a wink, "And these just taste so good... it's a guilty pleasure of mine, I must admit." She got seated. "Well? I would like to take that mouth that's been hanging open since I entered as a sign that you appreciate the gesture, but I want to be sure." She said, her head propped on her hooves.
After taking a few seconds, Sureshot.exe finally rebooted. "EH, I mean... wow. This is much better then I expected." He said, looking over all the plates, then looking at Rarity again. "Though, anything would be great if you made it, of course."
This comment made her blush, but she didn't response. Rather, she simply started eating, and he followed suit.
They ate in silence, both content to simply enjoy the meal, and each-others company. Sureshot would sometimes catch Rarity looking at him, as she did him, but nothing was said. Afterwards, when nothing remained, and Rarity had taken the dishes back to the kitchen and returned, they still didn't talk. He realized that, if he didn't act now, do something, anything, he would lose his chance. Not forever, no, but he would still rather not. But what could he say? How to break the ice? A thousand and one things ran through his mind, so engrossed he was that he didn't even notice Rarity come closer.
Before he knew it, she had kissed him. He pulled suddenly back, but upon seeing her eyes open in a confused look, he all too quickly dived back in. This made her eyes widen in turn, before slowly closing, both savoring the feeling. Hooves started traveling over bodies, eyes fluttered, and things got heated fast.
They started stumbling, moving, but with care to not knock over any of the still burning candles. Through one door, up the stairs, another door, and finally the bed, him on top, her having lost her dress on the way up, and both very eager. Sureshot briefly panicked about the possible presence of Sweetie Belle, but no, Rarity had made it very clear that she wanted no interruptions for tonight, so that thought got pushed out fast. Instead, in it's place came a desire to know her, and her body, more intimately. And so he got started.
When he broke the kiss at last, her eyes fully opened again, but not in confusion this time. No, now they were filled with pure, unbridled lust. She saw the look in his eyes too, hungry, but also filled with child-like amazement, and knew what he wanted to do. Thus, she merely splayed herself out on the bed, giving him easy access to the entirety of her body. He didn't hesitate to start.
First came her hooves. Long, shapely, fur trimmed a bit short, but sexy all the same. Then her barrel, lithe, no fat whatsoever. Even though she admitted to liking the unhealthy fast food, and how much ice cream she ate if her friends are to be believed, it was still toned and supple.
Before he went lower, however, he motioned for her to turn over. Though she protested a bit, as indicated by the halt of moaning that had been going on, she eventually complied. He certainly didn't exaggerate his estimation from earlier, he realized, after moving from her neck and back to her behind. If anything, it was an understatement! He couldn't even wrap his hooves fully around one, let alone both, and he was so mesmerized in kneading them that he lost track of time.
Eventually, even though Rarity certainly seemed to enjoy the attention by the constant increase of her moaning, she eventually turned around again. Before Sureshot could ask what she was doing, he got his answer when he felt that same soft hoof on his now rather hard penis. Sure, he wasn't the largest, but he certainly wasn't one of the smallest either. Rarity didn't seem to mind either way, as her hoof made a nonstop pumping motion. Unfamiliar he was with the feeling of someone else touching his private parts, he quickly started to get close, shaking. Rarity realized this as well, as she immediately took him in her mouth. Though she didn't get far, it was much further then Sureshot could take, and he released his first load not a minute after Rarity had started. She didn't pull away well after he was finished, and seeing her take a big gulp made him instantly hard again.
After wiping off her mouth, she turned around again, propping her head on the cushions. Looking back, her gaze was nothing but pure and utter lust, and Sureshot immediately went to work again. It didn't take him long to find-
"Her entrance, and he started pumping his hips in and out of that wet, tight tunnel" Celestia finished. She didn't look impressed. The other two people in the room did show some emotion, however. One was blushing profoundly, while the other looked like he wanted to sink deep, deep into the ground and never come out again.
Sureshot didn't even know how it was possible, but somehow, some way, sister Celestia managed to find his fanfic. His fanfic about Rarity.
Specifically, the unfinished one about him railing her.
Yeah.
"So, what did you think of it, Luna?" She asked in a serious tone, making the blue alicorn look up in surprise. She looked wildly between her sister and brother, not knowing who to speak to, but settled on Celestia eventually.
"Eh, that's... I think it's, kinda..." She started murmering. "Kind of, pretty good, actually?"
"Come again?" Celestia said, thought the other two knew for certain she had heard her, what with alicorns having heightened senses and all. She still looks unimpressed however, so at least it isn't for torture purposes.
"I, eh, liked it, I suppose?" Luna eventually managed out. Sureshot only seemed to sink his head further and further, certainly not wanting to hear how his sibling may or may not have gotten aroused by his own work.
Celestia only shook her head. Here it comes, Sureshot thought, now she'll tirade me about how I'm writing stupid fics about sex and Rarity.
Though he thought right, it wasn't in the way he anticipated. "There's so much wrong here. First of all, what is this segue from the after-dinner to the kiss, huh?" She asked, still in that serious tone. Both Luna and Sureshot looked confused at her words. "It's like you didn't even care about establishing an actual conversation, but directly went to the porn stuff instead?"
Luna and Sureshot looked at each other, not sure what to say to this. It was certainly not the response either of them expected.
Celestia didn't seem to notice, only looking over the scroll in her hooves again. "And those errors. There's a difference between it is and its. Surely you should have learned this by now?" She sighed, her listeners only getting more and more confused.
"And recuperation! I honestly don't get why so many ponies write about stallions instantly going at it again after climax, it's honestly an insult to anypony that actually had sex before. Actually, come to think of it, did you base all of this off of other fiction you've read of the same ilk, brother?" She asked, looking up again, and finally noticing the looks her sister and brother were giving her. "...what?" She said, looking unsure now.
"You're... not mad?" Sureshot cautiously asked. Celestia frowned, saying "Of course I am, didn't you hear the things I just said?" Sureshot shook his head, trying to find the words he wanted to say.
"I mean, about how I wrote myself into a sex fantasy with Rarity?" He finally said. Celestia looked more unsure. "Hmm? Would you thi-" Her eyes suddenly widened, as if realizing something. Then, she began to giggle, looking between me and the scroll, harder and harder until it eventually became full blown laughing. Sureshot looked to Luna again, but she only gave him a shrug and the same confused look.
Finally, after her laughter had died down, Sureshot spoke up again. "What... what was that all about, then?"
After wiping a few tears that had started to form in her eyes, Celestia responded. "Oh... ho... ha, ha. I get it." There was the biggest smirk on her face. "Did you really think that I would get mad about that?" She asked, to which Sureshot only slowly nodded. Celestia shook her head, still smiling. "Oh, dear brother, this is nothing. You should see my collection, or Luna's!"
The latter suddenly shouted "SISTER!", heavily blushing. She was ignored by her sister. "I mean, between the two of us, you don't even want to know what's going on in her stories." Luna blushed even harder, if that was possible at all. Celestia only leaned in a bit closer to Sureshot, who's mouth was now permanently hanging open. "Or, for that matter, mine."
Sureshot didn't respond. Rather, he just fell straight over.
"Faust dammit sister, now look what you've done." Luna said, blush still going strong. "The poor thing flat out fainted!"
"Eh, he would have learned eventually" Celestia shrugged, levitating her fainted brother to a better position, before grinning again. "And besides, who knows what he'll come up with next, aren't you at least interested?"
Luna only looked away with an even heavier blush, not dignifying that outrageous question with an answer. But, in doing so, it wasn't difficult to see the now damp spot that had formed on her chair...
Author's Note
Yes.
