Where Nopony Has Gone Before

by Kane Magus

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Adventure, Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 98632

The sequel to "The Quandary of DisQord", this is another Star Trek TNG / FiM crossover fic.

(The continuation of this story-verse is Star Trek: Pegasus.)

This is a direct sequel to my previous fic The Quandary of DisQord and is, of course, another Star Trek: The Next Generation / Friendship is Magic crossover. This time, however, Q has decided to bring the crew of the Enterprise-D along for the ride as well.

This is a much lighter story than Quandary was (since Quandary was the story of Discord's reign prior to his first defeat, it was bound to be a bit on the dark side). Also, be warned, though I tried to keep them to a minimum, there are still a few references to and spoilers for Quandary in this fic here, so I'd obviously recommend reading that one first before reading this one. Though, at the same time, this one is hopefully self-contained enough that you wouldn't necessarily have to read Quandary first in order to understand anything, if you don't care to.

Also beware, there is a bit of very mild one-sided shipping between one of the ponies and one of the humans, but nothing super serious or squicky or anything like that. And the Discord/Celestia ship from Quandary is touched upon again, of course. Just thought I'd mention it here, in case someone might be turned off by that sort of thing.

As with Quandary, extensive (and spoiler-filled) Author's Notes can be found after the end of the final chapter.

(Cover image is a direct screen-grab from the Next Gen episode "The Arsenal of Freedom" that I played around with in GIMP.)

Published 2012-07-31 03:44:04 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-31 03:44:04 UTC

Arrival

Where Nopony Has Gone Before

by Kane Magus

Chapter 1 - Arrival

Red.

For a brief few seconds, Commander William T. Riker knew nothing but red. ‘Red… alert?’ he groggily thought to himself, as his senses began to return to him. Yes, the red alert klaxons were indeed blaring. He quickly realized that he was lying prone on the carpet in front of the chair in which he normally sat, to the right of the currently empty command chair, though it was in fact the captain’s chair in which he’d been sitting just a few seconds earlier. Reaching a hand up to grab the nearest armrest, he pulled himself to his feet and surveyed the situation. He shook his head to clear it and realized that the spinning wasn’t just in his head after all. The Enterprise itself was spinning. A quick glance at the forward view screen easily confirmed this, since the star field was swirling across the screen in a horizontal direction.

Lt. Commander Data was still firmly in his seat at the Ops panel. Ensign Gates was trying to pull herself back up into the Conn chair. At the back of the bridge, Lieutenant Worf was standing at Tactical, leaning forward and gripping the top edge of the panel. Given that this was the night shift, there weren’t any other senior officers on the bridge at the moment.

“Report!” Riker said loudly, making himself heard over the red alert. “What the hell just happened?”

“Sensors read that there was an energy discharge of unknown origin just off the port warp nacelle!” said the Klingon tactical officer. “It has knocked us off course. Damage and injury reports are minimal, though inertial dampeners are having difficulty adjusting to the ship’s rotational velocity.”

“Helm is not responding at all, sir,” said Gates.

“Commander, if I may make an observation,” said Data, swiveling his chair to face the first officer.

“Yes, Mr. Data?” said Riker.

“Though the impetus of our current movement seems to be of a much greater magnitude than before,” said the android, “this situation appears to be almost identical to when Q transported the Enterprise to sector J-25.”

Data’s words sent a chill down Riker’s spine as he considered the implications. He immediately tapped his combadge and said, “Captain Picard to the bridge!”

“Already on my way,” was the immediate response. Indeed, it was less than a minute later that the turbolift doors opened and Jean-Luc Picard stepped out onto the bridge. “Report, Number One,” said Picard as he strode to the center of the room.

“We’ve been hit by some kind of energy discharge and it has knocked us off course,” said Riker. “According to Mr. Data, it is very similar to when Q sent us to our first contact with the Borg.”

“Q,” said Picard with distaste. “Mr. Worf, shut off the bridge audio on the red alert.” He paused and looked around, as if waiting for something, and then continued speaking. “Well, if this is indeed Q’s handiwork, I expect we’ll be paid a visit by him soon enough. Mr. Data, can you get a fix on our current trajectory?”

“While our final destination is as of yet unclear,” said Data, “our current movement has already taken us out of the Alpha quadrant. It is difficult to measure our exact velocity, but it is much higher than it was when Q transported us to the J-25 system. If we continue along this heading, we appear to be moving toward the edge of the galaxy, at a point along the border between the Beta and Delta quadrants. There are no known star systems in our current path, although that region of space is still only one point three percent charted. Assuming no major changes in our current velocity, we will exit the galaxy entirely in approximately three minutes, and forty-seven seconds.”

“Exit the galaxy? That’s assuming the ship survives passing through the Galactic Barrier,” Riker noted.

“Given what we know of Q,” said Picard, “anything is possible. Assuming, of course, Q is indeed responsible for our current predicament.”

As if on cue, there was a burst of light and sound at the front of the bridge, just in front of the Ops and Conn stations. When the light faded, a figure in a burgundy Starfleet uniform was standing there.

“Speak of the devil,” muttered Riker.

“Q,” growled Worf.

“Very good, microbrain,” said Q, tossing off a jaunty salute in the Klingon’s direction. “Nice to see you have a slightly greater memory-span than that of a goldfish.” Ignoring Worf’s growls, Q turned to Picard and said, “Yes, I could easily get this ship through the Barrier if I needed to. However, we are fortunate in that we don’t need to go quite so far.”

“Where are you taking us this time?” asked Picard, both warily and wearily.

“Oh, you’ll see soon enough,” said Q. He walked over and sat down in the chair normally used by Counselor Deanna Troi. He waved to the two empty seats next to him and said, “Please, have a seat. No need to be so tense.”

“Q, enough of this foolishness already,” said Riker, who chose to remain standing along with Picard.

“Foolishness?” said Q, placing a hand on his chest. “Moi? When have I ever engaged in foolishness during my visits with you?”

“How about every single time,” muttered Worf, just loudly enough to be sure that he was heard.

“Mr. Worf,” said Q, swiveling the chair partially around to look at him. “My nature can be described as whimsical or mercurial, but never foolish. The sheer magnitude of your lack of a sense of humor causes me almost physical pain. However, I think you’ll be cured of that soon enough when we reach our destination. Then again… you are a Klingon. Hmm.”

Picard had had enough. “Q, either tell us what your business with us is about, or return us to our original location and leave us be!”

Q swiveled the chair back toward the front of the bridge again. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not going to drop you into the path of another Borg ship, if that’s what you’re concerned about. No, the place we’re headed to is a lot more lively and fun than the Borg could ever be.”

“Somehow,” said Riker, “that doesn’t lessen the sense of looming dread I feel whenever you put in an appearance. If anything, it does the opposite.”

“I’m serious,” said Q. “I think you’ll get a real kick out of this place. Ah, and look, we’ve arrived already.” As he spoke, the movement of the ship slowed quickly and then ceased altogether. He was looking at the forward view screen, and the others followed his gaze. On the screen was a rather Earth-like planet around which the Enterprise was now in orbit. White cloud swirls, brown and green continents, and blue oceans. The landmasses were clearly different, but beyond that, they could have been looking at Earth itself.

Picard watched Q for a moment and then, when it was clear that the entity wasn’t about to be forthcoming with any useful information, he turned toward the Ops station. “What can you tell us about the planet, Mr. Data?”

“Sensors register the planet as Class M,” said the android. “There are signs of civilization on the surface. Initial scans seem to indicate a largely pre-industrial level of technology, though there seem to be limited areas with somewhat higher levels of technology present as well. No indication of extra-planetary capabilities.”

Riker nodded and said, “And what is our current location with respect to Federation space?”

Data touched a few keys on his panel and replied, “As I previously surmised, sir, we are currently on a point along the demarcation plane between the Beta and Delta quadrants, just on the Beta side, nearly at the edge of the galaxy. We are approximately forty-three thousand, seven hundred light years from the closest starbase. If we were to maintain a speed of warp nine for the duration of the journey, it will take us roughly twenty-eight years, nine months, twenty-five days to return to Federation space.”

Picard and Riker looked at one another, and then they both glared at Q. After a few moments, Picard shook his head and said, “Well, I remember what happened the last time we were in a similar predicament and we ignored Guinan’s advice to start back immediately. I suppose the sooner we get started, the better. Ensign Gates, lay in a course back to the Federation. Warp nine. Engage.”

Ensign Gates tapped some keys on the Conn panel, which replied with sounds indicative of there being an error of some sort. “Helm is still not responding, sir.”

“Oh, please,” said Q, rolling his eyes. “Picard, did you really expect I would let you leave that easily, after I went to the trouble of bringing you all the way here?”

“It was worth a shot,” said Riker, still glaring at the entity in annoyance.

Q stood up and walked toward the view screen. “Well, I’ll give you a little hint about what is going to happen here. Simply put, I am not going to allow you to return home until you beam down to the planet there and do what you do best: explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and to boldly go… well, I’m sure you get the gist. Besides, in this case, that last one isn’t entirely accurate anyway.”

Not having a clue what Q was rambling on about there at the end, Picard turned his eyes to the view screen. “Q, as I am sure you are well aware, our Prime Directive explicitly prohibits us from interfering with developing cultures.”

Q impatiently blew air through his lips. “Bah! Don’t bore me with that Prime Directive malarkey. I don’t care a whit about that. It’s true that this civilization may not have developed space travel, but is that really the only criteria you use for determining the worth of a culture? In many ways, the beings down on that planet are more advanced by far than even you humans are. It’s part of the reason I want you to meet them. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two. Besides, as I said, I’m not going to let you leave this system until you do. Sure, I could just whisk you down there myself right now, but I’d rather sit back and observe how you go about the whole thing, standard procedures and all that, as long as they aren’t too boring, of course. So, there you have it. Your choices are to rot here on this ship, locked in orbit around this planet for the rest of your days, or to beam down there and take a look around. Meet the locals. Maybe have a party.”

“You’re not helping your case,” grumbled Worf.

“Oh, Mr. Worf,” said Q. “I’m particularly interested in seeing your reaction when you see what the people of this planet are like. You really need to learn to lighten up.”

Picard sighed again, and then threw up his hands. “All right, Q. You obviously leave us with no meaningful alternative. But before we go down there I want you to tell us everything we need to know about these people. How do we blend in? I don’t want to contaminate their development any more than absolutely necessary.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” said Q. “It would spoil the surprise. I’ll tell you this much, though. You’re not going to be able to just put on a fake rubber forehead in order to pass as one of them. They’re definitely and immediately going to know that you’re not from around these parts. Besides, I feel that they need as much of a shake up as you do.” Q turned to Data and placed a hand on the back of his chair. “Data, do that little scan thing again and let us know what you can glean about the inhabitants of this planet, particularly their physical make-up. Oh, but wait, let me pick the best spot first.” Q turned back to the view screen and held his hands out toward it. While moving his hands as if he were sculpting clay, the planet began to turn on the screen. Picard could tell from the subtle movements of the ship, however, that Q was actually moving them in relation to the planet, rather than moving the planet itself. “Ah, there we are,” said Q. “I’d suggest starting with that area directly below the ship.”

Data scanned again. “There are several areas that appear to be towns or cities in this region, though a good portion of the land is either devoted to agricultural endeavors or have been left to nature. Life signs primarily appear to be…” at this point, he paused and then turned to face toward Picard and Riker. “…equine in nature.”

“Horses?” said Riker, raising an eyebrow.

“Not horses,” Q corrected. “Ponies.”

“Q, what kind of game is this?” said Picard, exasperation clear in his voice.

“No games, Jean-Luc,” said Q. “Well, not yet anyway. What? You don’t think that ponies can be intelligent enough to be the dominant species on the planet? You believe all sapient life in the galaxy is humanoid in nature? How very narrow-minded.”

“We believe no such thing, and you damn well know it,” said Picard, getting more annoyed with each passing second, though he wasn’t sure if he was more annoyed at Q or at himself for allowing Q to get under his skin so easily.

“Look,” said the entity, “if it makes you feel any better, I used to be… shall we say… very close, personal friends with one of the rulers of the nation directly below the ship, and the people there are very friendly. I’m sure you’ll receive a warm reception.”

“I find that hard to believe,” said Riker. “If anything, creatures that could be friends with you are creatures that I think we should definitely be wary of.”

“Believe what you want, Riker,” said Q. “You’ll find out soon enough. Anyway, when you beam down, I would suggest starting with this area here.” He pointed toward the view screen, and a glowing red dot appeared on the screen where he was pointing. “The smaller town, there.” He made a circular motion with his finger and the red dot traced a thin line around one of the smaller settlements. “However, I would advise that you avoid the forest to the west. Very nasty things live in there. Also, for future reference, the seat of government is here, but I’m not going to let you go there just yet.” He pointed to a mountain that was a moderate distance to the northeast from the town he’d earlier indicated. There was clearly a larger city built into the side of this mountain. Q held up a hand and added, “Oh, and one more thing. I’ve already taken the liberty of tinkering with your universal translators so that you will be able to understand the languages spoken on this planet. No need to thank me.”

Picard and Riker shared another look. “Opinions, Number One?” asked Picard.

Riker glanced at Q, and then looked at the view screen. “Well, as Q has already made it very clear that he’s not going to return us to Federation space until we do as he says, and as much as I hate to jump through hoops for his amusement, I have to admit that I am very curious as to what makes this particular planet so special that he would bring us all the way out here.”

“That’s the spirit, Riker!” said Q cheerfully.

Picard studied the view screen for several moments, before finally tugging at the waist of his uniform and nodding. “Very well,” he said. “Assemble an away team and beam down. However, try to remain undetected for as long as you can. Any reconnaissance will be helpful before formal first contact, even with the limitations Q has imposed on us. Oh, and I recommend bringing Counselor Troi along with you as well.”

Riker nodded. “Mr. Data, Mr. Worf, you’re with me.” He tapped his combadge and said, “Counselor Troi, please report to Transporter Room 4 immediately. We have an unplanned first contact situation on our hands.” With that said, Riker, Data, and Worf entered the turbolift.

Picard watched as some junior officers arrived a few moments later to replace the departing command staff, and then he turned to Q. “I want to have a word with you, Q,” he said, gesturing toward his ready room, “in private.”

Q nodded. “But of course, Jean-Luc.” He waved a hand and both he and Picard disappeared in a burst of light and sound. They reappeared in the ready room, with Q lounging in Picard’s chair and his feet casually thrown up on Picard’s desk while Picard himself was left standing on the other side of the desk. “What do you wish to discuss?”

The captain let out an exasperated sigh, but otherwise chose to ignore Q’s flippancy for the moment. He walked forward and leaned toward Q, his hands resting on the desk. “What are you trying to accomplish here? What do you really want? Are you trying to teach us another lesson in humility or something similar?”

Q shrugged. “I thought I already made that clear. For now, I only want you to beam down and meet the citizens of this planet.”

“But to what end?” asked Picard. “What do you get out of this?”

Q smiled and said, “Simply put, Jean-Luc, as Riker himself already noted, I get amusement out of this. Don’t feel too bad, though. As I said before, I sincerely do think you’ll like this place. As to what end? Well… I merely wish to establish a connection between your world and theirs. This isn’t like when I introduced you to the Borg. I’m not trying to impart any wisdom this time, though I’m sure you could learn a lot from the ponies down there, and they from you. In any case, I don’t intend for this to be some grand adventure with perils to overcome or villains to defeat or other nonsense such as that. I’m much more interested in observing the… slice of life, as it were.”

“And how long do you intend to keep us trapped here?” asked Picard.

“Oh, I haven’t decided yet,” said Q, steepling his fingers and gazing down at them. “Also, that’s sort of up to you, you know? But don’t worry. I don’t intend to keep you here for decades or anything like that. I doubt it’ll even be years, for that matter, or even months. But I really can’t stress enough that once you meet those ponies down there, you won’t be so quick to want to leave.”

“Well, Q,” said Picard, standing up straight again. “It’s obvious that I’m not going to get any straight answers out of you as to what your true goal here is. I should have expected as much. So be it. You say you intend to observe what’s going on down on the planet? Perhaps you should get to it, then, and leave my ship in peace.”

“Jean-Luc, are you implying that I need to leave the ship here in order to do that?” asked Q, with mock surprise. “Trust me, I already have things well in hand down there. Or perhaps I should say… well in hoof.”

“And just what do you mean by that?” asked Picard, more than a little concerned.

Q smiled enigmatically. “I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”

A burgundy earth pony stood on a hill overlooking Ponyville from the south. He shook his dark brown mane and took in the vista before him, from the Everfree Forest in the west over to the Whitetail Woods in the east. Near the base of the hill was Sweet Apple Acres. In the far distance, shrouded in a bit of haze, was the mountain on which the city of Canterlot rested. And there, in the center, was Ponyville itself.

The pony glanced down at himself and raised one of his front hooves to examine it. Nodding to himself that everything was in order, he glanced back at his flank. His cutie mark was one that no pony in Equestria had ever seen before, but that would change soon enough. The away team was on their way, after all, and they wore the very same symbol on the breasts of their uniforms.

The pony then looked up at the sky, where he knew the starship was hanging almost directly overhead, though his currently limited pony eyes couldn’t see it. He didn’t need to see it, however. Why should he? He was, in fact, currently on board the ship, sitting in the Captain’s ready room, just as he was down here on the planet surface at the same time.

With a chuckle to himself, Q trotted a few steps toward Ponyville and then disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

“Ponies, you say?” said Counselor Deanna Troi. She and Riker were standing next to the transporter console.

“That’s what Q claims,” said Riker.

“And he says he’s adjusted the universal translator,” said Troi, “meaning that these ponies are able to talk?”

“That is a reasonable assumption to make, Counselor,” said Data. He handed Riker and Troi each a tricorder and then began inspecting his own.

“Well, this should certainly be interesting,” said the counselor.

At that moment, Worf entered the transporter room. He had a Type-II hand phaser stowed in his uniform. He handed another Type-II to Data, and a Type-I to Riker.

“Do you really think all of us need to be armed?” asked Troi with mild distaste as Worf held another Type-I out to her. She reluctantly took it and stowed it in her uniform.

“This is a scenario devised by Q,” Worf said. “It is better to be prepared.”

Riker said, “I agree. Though, knowing Q, he could very easily disable the phasers if it suited his whims.”

Troi shook her head. “I just hope we won’t need them at all, regardless.”

Riker nodded and said, “I agree with that as well. So then, are we all set?”

Data completed the inspection of his tricorder and stowed it in the appropriate pouch on his uniform. “I believe so, Commander.”

“All right,” said Riker. He walked up onto the transporter platform and turned to face away from the wall. When the others had joined him, he said, “Energize, Chief O’Brien.”

“Energizing, sir,” said Transporter Chief Miles O’Brien, who until that point had remained silent, simply listening to the away team as they discussed their mission. He watched as the cascading beams of light enveloped them and then faded away, leaving the transporter room once again empty, except for himself. “Ponies, eh?” he muttered to himself. “This ought to be rich. I wonder if any of them will be paying us a visit here.”

Party

Chapter 3 - Party

“Girls, you know I’m not going to just let you take my balloon out for a spin by yourselves, right?” said Twilight Sparkle, as she tried to navigate her way around Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, all of whom were bouncing in circles around her. She was trying to levitate a tea kettle that was whistling on her stove, but was finding it difficult to concentrate while being surrounded by the excited fillies.

“We already looked through all those books you showed us,” said Apple Bloom, “and we couldn’t find anything about asternuts.”

“Astronauts,” corrected Scootaloo.

“That’s what I said, ain’t it?” said Apple Bloom. “We couldn’t find a lick of info about them or their flyin’ trains.”

“Well, it’s like I told you to start with. Such things simply don’t exist outside of comic books,” said Twilight, with an ever so slight edge of impatience in her voice. “Girls, please, I need to set this kettle off the burner before it boils over.”

“Oh. Sorry, Twilight,” said Sweetie Belle, suddenly sounding a bit dejected. “We’ll get out of your hair now.”

“Aw, I didn’t mean it like that,” said the purple unicorn, feeling guilty over being short with the fillies. “Listen, would you like some tea? Once I get the kettle situated, I’ll share some of it with you.”

“That sounds great,” said Scootaloo. A sudden rumbling sound coming from the direction of her tummy made her grin guiltily. “We haven’t eaten anything since breakfast anyway. We’ve been too busy making plans for our next adventure.”

Twilight telekinetically picked up the kettle and floated it over to the nearby table. She looked at the three fillies and frowned. “Girls, it’s after three o’clock in the afternoon. You can’t skip meals like this or you’ll get sick. Believe me, I used to do that sort of thing all the time when I was your age and I had my nose stuck in a particularly good book. I’d completely lose track of time and the next thing I’d know, my stomach would be grumbling and I’d be feeling light-headed. I even almost fainted once, right in the middle of a lesson. Princess Celestia wasn’t happy about that, I can assure you.”

“Yeah… I guess we do tend to get so caught up in what we’re doin’ sometimes that we just forget all about eatin’ or anything else,” said Apple Bloom.

“Well, I might have a little something that will tide you over until you can get some real food in you,” said Twilight. She looked up toward the loft area where the beds were and called out, “Spike! The tea’s almost ready. Also, if you haven’t already eaten all of those cookies that Pinkie brought over the other day, bring those down with you.”

“I’ll be right there!” said the baby dragon. Seconds later, he was zipping down the stairs, carrying a cookie jar. It was mostly empty, but there were still about a dozen small cookies in the bottom. He set it on the table and took a seat next to the others.

As the three Cutie Mark Crusaders helped themselves to the cookies, Twilight started pouring out cups of tea. Right as she finished pouring her own cup, the door to the library opened and Pinkie Pie hopped through it.

“Hello, Pinkie!” said Twilight brightly. “What brings you here? Would you care to join us for some tea?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” said the pink pony. “Aw, looks like all the cookies are already gone, though. I’ll have to remember to bring you some more later.” She sat down at the table and starting sipping a cup of tea. Then her eyes widened. “Oh no, wait, there’s no time for that right now! I have a party to plan! That’s why I came here!”

“A party?” asked Scootaloo.

“What’s it for?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Oh, you’ll never believe it!” said Pinkie Pie. “There are HUMANS over at Sugarcube Corner!” There were five simultaneous spit-takes (one of which was accompanied by a short belch of green dragon fire), and Pinkie found all eyes staring at her in shock. “See? I told you that you wouldn’t believe it!”

“Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Is this some kind of joke? If it is, it’s a weird one, even for you.”

“No joke at all,” said Pinkie. “Mayor Mare is there too, and she introduced me to them. There are four of them and they came from some kind of ship that’s floating up in the sky above Equestria. She wants me to throw a party to welcome them to Ponyville.”

The eyes of the CMC and Spike had widened into saucers while Twilight’s narrowed dubiously. “Pinkie…”

“I am totally 100% telling the truth,” said Pinkie Pie. “Cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She made hoof motions that ended with her poking herself in the eye.

“Wow,” said Twilight. She knew Pinkie didn’t invoke her vows lightly at all. After a moment, the unicorn couldn’t think of anything else to say, so she just said “Wow,” again.

“I know, right?” said Pinkie. “I was the same way at first! I was all like ‘HUMANS!’ and then I was afraid that it had woken up the twins, but they could sleep through my party cannon going off right next to them, so no worries there. Don’t ask me how I know that, by the way. And then the Mayor introduced me to the humans and told me she wanted me to throw a party, but I don’t know how to throw the kind of lame-o worse-than-the-Gala party that she wants me to throw, so I came here to see you!”

Twilight tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “The concept of throwing a ‘lame-o worse-than-the-Gala’ party made you immediately think of me?”

“Uh huh!” said Pinkie Pie, completely oblivious to the unintentional insult. “I’m sure you’ve got a book or something around here that could help me out.”

“Why don’t you just round up some food and send out invitations?” asked Spike. “It doesn’t sound like the Mayor wants anything super fancy. Just get ponies to show up and the party will probably take care of itself.”

“Hey, that’s a good idea, Spike!” said Pinkie. “But I don’t really have time to prepare formal invitations or anything like that, and it’s going to be open to everypony anyway, or at least as many as we can cram into Sugarcube Corner at one time. I guess this should be more of a word-of-mouth sort of thing. Ooh, I know!” She turned to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Why don’t you girls help me out with that? You run around and let everypony know about the party that doesn’t already know and tell them to spread the word, and I’ll go get the food. Maybe you’ll even get ‘Spreading the Word about an Awesome Party’ cutie marks!”

“I thought you said it was going to be a lame-o party,” said Scootaloo a bit warily. “I don’t want a lame-o party cutie mark.”

“Trust me,” said the pink pony, leaning in and lowering her voice conspiratorially. “No party thrown by Pinkie Pie is going to be lame-o, even if it may not have the usual attitude and pizzazz, as Rarity would say. But… I guess I do kind of get the Mayor’s point, though. I’m sure most ponies are just going to want to talk to the humans or at least get a good look at them, and if the music is too loud or if there’s too much activity, that would make it hard to do that. But that doesn’t mean it can’t still be fun, right? So, how about it? You girls want to help me?”

The CMC looked at each other and nodded. “Okay,” said Apple Bloom. “We can always try that asternut thing later.”

“Oooh, asternuts! I should buy some of those for the party!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Astronauts!” corrected Scootaloo once again.

“Those too!” said Pinkie, nodding. “I should probably get some more normal food as well, though.”

“Uh…?” said Sweetie Belle in total confusion. “What…?”

“Come along, girls!” said Pinkie excitedly. “Cutie Mark Crusader Announcers of the Awesome Party for the Humans, away!” As she galloped toward the door with the CMC following her, she turned her head back to the purple unicorn and said, “Thanks for all the help, Twilight!” The door slammed shut behind them as they left.

“Um… don’t mention it?” said Twilight softly, knowing that Pinkie Pie was already long out of earshot. She turned to Spike. “I didn’t help her with anything.”

“Is it just me,” said Spike, “or was Pinkie Pie even more loopy than usual?” He made a twirling motion at the side of his head with a finger.

“Not really,” said the unicorn. “Well, okay, aside from that part about there being humans at Sugarcube Corner, anyway. That part sounded a bit loopy.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly the part I was talking about,” said the dragon.

Twilight furrowed her brow and said, “You know she wouldn’t invoke a Pinkie Promise like that if she weren’t really serious.”

“But… humans…?” said Spike. “How is that even possible? I thought humans were just old bedtime stories. Why are they here? How’d they even get here?”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out for sure,” said Twilight Sparkle, finishing her cup of tea and standing up. “Let’s head over to Sugarcube Corner.”

“You sure you don’t want to beam down, Jean-Luc?” asked Q. “This is going to be one hum-dinger of a party, once I crash it.”

“Q, I will freely admit now that this planet is indeed very intriguing,” said Picard. “However, whenever you talk about getting directly involved, you make me nervous.”

“Oh, Picard, lighten up,” said Q airily. “You worry far too much. That’s probably why you’ve lost most of your hair, you know. I’m just going to make sure that this thing is more like an actual party and less like a funeral or a staff meeting or some other horrid thing like that.”

Picard sighed. “Q, we both know that you’re going to do whatever you want to do, whether I approve of it or not. All I ask is that you please not do anything that will risk the lives of my crew or those ponies.”

Q shook his head in disappointment. “Picard, how many times do I have to say this? No adventure. No peril. No death-defying heroics required. I’m not going to be sending a battalion of French pigmen soldiers after them this time. No penalty boxes either. I am only interested in the purely mundane. That said, however, I am not interested in the mind-numbingly boring, and that’s why I intend to liven up this snore-fest and turn it into a real shindig.” Q turned back to the view screen. “You’re going to wish you were there, mark my words.”

“Somehow, I doubt that,” muttered Picard.

Riker looked up as the door to Sugarcube Corner opened and a couple of newcomers entered the establishment. One of them was a pale purple pony with a darker purple/pink striped mane and tail, the mark on her flank being a large pink six-pointed star surrounded by five smaller white stars. This pony had a horn on her head, indicating that she was a unicorn. As for the pony’s companion… Riker glanced at Troi when he heard a sharp intake of breath from her direction.

“Is that really a dragon?” she whispered.

Riker widened his eyes and shook his head slightly in a “Your guess is as good as mine” sort of gesture and turned back to the newcomers, both of whom were standing just inside the doorway and staring open-mouthed at the away team.

The Mayor looked up from her idle conversation with Data and Worf and said, “Ah, Twilight Sparkle! There you are. We were just talking about you earlier.”

“Er, y-you were?” said Twilight, a bit nervously.

“Indeed,” said the Mayor. “Twilight, I’d like to introduce you to our visitors.” She introduced the away team to the pony and then turned to Riker. “And this, of course, is Twilight Sparkle, about whom you’ve already heard, along with her assistant, Spike.” Spike grinned nervously and wiggled his fingers in greeting.

“So… cute,” muttered Troi under her breath, only loudly enough that Riker could hear her.

“Did Pinkie Pie come to visit you?” asked the Mayor. “She said she was coming to you for help with the party I asked her to plan.”

“She did drop by,” said Twilight, “but she didn’t stick around for very long. She’s out making arrangements for food while Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle spread word about the party. I’m sure it won’t be long before ponies start pouring into this place. That’s why we’re here ourselves, in fact.”

The Mayor nodded and said, “Very good. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to head back to City Hall for a while. There are some loose ends I need to tie up before the party gets started. And I should probably check in with Pinkie Pie to make sure she isn’t trying to arrange a Wonderbolts performance or something. However, if you don’t mind, Twilight, I’d like for you to officially act in my stead as liaison to our new friends here. Include your other friends in this as well, when they arrive.”

Twilight smiled and said, “I’m honored.”

“Thanks,” said the Mayor. With a nod to Twilight, Spike, and the away team, she turned and trotted out the door.

“So… uh…” said Twilight, turning back to the away team. “You say that you’ve heard other ponies talking about me?”

“Indeed we have,” said Riker with as warm and non-threatening a smile as he could manage. “Nothing bad, I assure you. You seem to be the go-to pony for advice.”

Twilight blushed a bit and said, “Well, I don’t know if I’d go quite that far. It’s mostly just that I work in the library, so other ponies come to me when they need help with research or something.”

“Then perhaps you could be an invaluable resource for us as well,” said Data. “Since we are here on a mission of research and exploration, making use of your services would be most helpful.”

Twilight smiled again and said, “Sure, I’d be delighted to help you. I’m sure I have just as many questions for you as you have for me, though. I mean… it’s not like humans drop out of the old legends and into Ponyville everyday, you know.”

Troi nodded. “Well, the purpose of the upcoming party is for us to get to know one another, and we’ll be glad to answer any questions you might have as well. Any official research can wait until later. So, to start things off, I have a question of my own.” She turned to Spike. “You really are a dragon, aren’t you?”

Spike puffed out his chest and grinned even bigger than before. “Been one all my life, ever since Twilight here hatched me from my egg.” He paused and then a look of confusion came over his face. “Wait, how come you know about dragons already?”

“Well, I’ll tell you,” said Troi. “And I’d love to hear everything about you as well.” She patted an empty seat in invitation, and Spike obligingly hopped up onto it.

Riker watched for a moment as the counselor and the baby dragon began to chat, and then turned back to Twilight. “Maybe it’s just me, but you seem to be somewhat less shocked by our sudden appearance than most of the other ponies.”

Twilight shook her head. “Oh no, this is just as big a surprise to me as I’m sure it’s been for everypony else. It’s just that, well, I’ve seen a lot of pretty unusual things since moving here to Ponyville from Canterlot, so it takes quite a bit to truly shock me these days. And…” She grinned and blushed again. “I had advance warning from Pinkie Pie, of course. Even so, it was still more than a bit of a surprise when I first came in here and saw you sitting there.”

A new voice sounded from the doorway. “Oh my! So Sweetie Belle was telling the truth after all. There… really are humans in Ponyville.”

Riker looked toward the door and saw another unicorn pony. She had a white coat and purple mane and tail, with three diamonds on her flank. She seemed far more elegant in stature than most of the other ponies they’d met so far, somehow. When she caught sight of Twilight Sparkle and Spike, she walked over to join them.

“Hello, Rarity,” said Twilight. As she made introductions, they heard more voices from the doorway, as other ponies started arriving for the party.

“I swear, if that sister of mine was just pullin’ our tails…” said one of the voices.

“She seemed very sincere to me,” said a second, much softer voice. “I really don’t think she was fibbing or anything like that. At least, I hope not.”

“Well, if she was, she’ll be muckin’ out the stables by herself for the next week,” said the gruff first voice again.

“Applejack! Fluttershy!” called out Twilight. “Over here!”

Riker looked at the newest pair of ponies. One was an orange pony with blonde mane and tail, with three red apples on her flank. She was also wearing a cowboy hat. The second was a yellow pony with light pink mane and tail, with three pink and blue butterflies on her flank. She also had wings, indicating that she was one of the pegasi. Once again, Twilight made introductions between the away team and her friends.

“Well I’ll be…” said Applejack in amazement. “I never gave those old stories much credit, but it looks like they’re true after all.”

“Yes, it’s quite a shock, to say the least,” said Rarity.

Fluttershy nodded in agreement, but didn’t say anything more.

The place was starting to fill up rather quickly. Most of the ponies kept to themselves, at least for the time being, but all eyes were on the away team. Soon, Pinkie Pie returned, along with the three younger ponies that the away team had seen earlier at the treehouse.

“Hey!” said Pinkie Pie, as she bounced over to join Twilight and the others. “Looks like everypony’s here already! The place is starting to fill up too. Good thing the food I ordered should be delivered soon. And I think I smell something absolutely delicious coming from the kitchen, too.” She looked around for a bit. “Oh, wait! Where’s Rainbow Dash? I figured she would have been one of the first to show up.”

Scootaloo was a bit confused as well. “Yeah, me too. When I told her what was going on, she said she’d definitely be here. And then she took off like a lightning bolt. I couldn’t even tell which way she went, she was gone so fast.”

Pinkie nodded and said, “I’m sure she’s just waiting to make sure her entrance will be as cool as possible. Oh look, Derpy and the others are here with the food! I’ll be right back, you guys. Go ahead and enjoy the party.”

Riker watched the pink pony for a moment, and then turned to the others. “So you guys and Pinkie are all close friends, I take it?”

“Oh yeah,” said Applejack, nodding. “We sure are. We’ve all been friends goin’ on, what, a little over two years now, I reckon?”

“That sounds about right,” said Rarity. “Most of us were at least acquainted with one another before that, but we all didn’t really become such close friends until after Twilight and Spike here moved to Ponyville, which was around that time.”

“And there’s also Rainbow Dash, who isn’t here yet,” said Fluttershy softly. “I wonder where she could be.”

Pinkie Pie came back in again, followed by some ponies carrying large boxes that Riker assumed contained food for the party. He was interested in seeing what was going to be served. At first, he’d just assumed it would simply be raw hay or grass or something, which didn’t sound all that appetizing, but given that the ponies had a confectionary, he figured that they probably had other forms of prepared food as well.

“Just sit it on the table there,” said Pinkie Pie. “Ooh, watch out, Derpy!” One of the ponies, a gray pegasus with a blonde mane and tail and a flank mark that appeared to be a cluster of bubbles (and, Riker noted, whose eyes seemed to be pointing in two different directions at once), was carrying a large box on her back, but seemed to be having trouble with it, despite using her wings in an attempt to balance it. Luckily, Pinkie was there to catch it before it fell completely. Pinkie put the box on the table, opened it, and started setting out the contents, as did the other delivery ponies. “Feel free to stick around after everything is unloaded,” she said to the delivery ponies. “After all, this party is open to everypony.” She turned her head back toward the group of ponies clustered around the away team and called out, “Hey, AJ! Your brother is outside with a big cartload of apple stuff and says he could use a hoof!”

“Oh gosh, I completely forgot about Big Macintosh!” said Applejack. “C’mon, Apple Bloom!” She and her sister hurried out the door, then came back in a bit later, carrying several apple related dishes on large platters in their mouths. Behind her, a larger male pony entered, pushing a small cart in front of him with his mouth, which was laden with even more apple-related dishes. This pony had a red coat, and orange-blonde mane and tail, with the mark of a green apple sliced in half on his flank. Riker assumed that this was Applejack’s aforementioned brother.

With the food situated, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Apple Bloom came back over and joined the rest of their friends. “Want to join us, Big Mac?” asked Pinkie.

“Nope,” said the tall red pony. “Well, I’d like to, but I told Granny Smith that I’d be right back after I made the delivery, so I reckon I’d better be gettin’ back to the farm. Thank ya kindly, though.” He nodded to his sisters. “Have fun, you two.”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” said Pinkie, watching Big Macintosh as he left. She turned back to the group and opened her mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by yet another commotion coming from the entrance.

“I SAW IT!” said a loud voice from just outside the door, which was followed by a muffled crash. “Oops! Sorry there, Big Mac, you just came out of nowhere. Lemme help you up.” A few moments later, a pegasus pony burst through the door and stood there, breathing heavily, with all eyes now on her. “I saw it, you guys!” This pony was light blue in color, with an interestingly rainbow colored mane and tail, and with a flank mark that depicted a similarly rainbow colored lightning bolt shooting out of a cloud. She looked around the room and when she caught sight of Twilight and her friends along with the away team, she rushed over. “I saw it! It was awesome!”

“What did you see, Rainbow Dash?” asked Fluttershy.

“Hold on, let me catch my breath,” said the blue pony. She shook her head furiously, blinked a few times, and took several deep breaths, then looked at the gathering. “I saw their ship!” she exclaimed, nodding her head at the away team.

Riker’s eyes widened in shock and he glanced around at the other away team members, who showed equal measures of surprise. “You saw our ship?” he asked.

“I sure did!” said Rainbow Dash. “Or, at least I think I did, anyway. When Scootaloo told me about there being humans at Sugarcube Corner and how you’d come here in an orbiting ship of some sort, I just had to try to see it. I figured that since you were here, the ship had to be overhead, rather than, like, on the other side of the world or something, so I took off and started flying straight up. I flew as high as I’ve ever flown, up to the point where the air starts getting thin and the sky starts looking like nighttime, even though it’s still daytime. And there it was! It was hard to see though, so I figured it was either really small or really far away.”

“Our ship is currently in orbit at a point approximately six-hundred and fifty miles above the surface of this world,” said Data.

“Huh. So, it must be really big then,” said Rainbow Dash, with a nod. “Even as high as I went, I’m sure it wasn’t much higher than maybe fifty or sixty miles at the most. Your ship’s pretty awesome looking.” She turned to her friends and started describing it. “It kind of has this large disk shaped head, with a neck that tapered down to a thin body with a sort of red and blue dish at the front of it, and with these long narrow wings with red and blue glowing lights on them extending up from the sides. The whole thing was kind of a metallic gray, with little dots over most of the surface, which I guessed were windows since some of them were lit up like in a house at night.”

“That certainly sounds like the Enterprise, all right,” said Troi, rather impressed that this pony was able to see it.

“Enterprise, huh?” said the blue pegasus. “That’s a pretty cool name, too. Oh, I’m Rainbow Dash, by the way. It’s very nice to meet you all.” Yet another round of introductions was made.

Riker looked at Twilight Sparkle and said, “Okay, I know that you are a librarian.” He turned to Pinkie Pie. “And that you work here in Sugarcube Corner.” He swept his eyes over the other ponies. “So, tell me, what do the rest of you guys do?”

Applejack adjusted the string holding her hat a bit and said, “As ya probably already guessed, me and my little sis here live on a farm just outside of Ponyville with our brother and granny. It’s called Sweet Apple Acres. If ya came in from the south, ya probably saw it already. We grow some other things, too, but mostly we grow apples, as well as make and sell various apple-related foodstuffs.”

Apple Bloom nodded and said, “And when ya’ll try ‘em out, you’ll see that we grow the best apples in all of Equestria.”

“That we do, sugar cube,” said Applejack, smiling down at her sister. She then turned to Rarity and nodded, indicating it was the unicorn’s turn.

“As for me,” said Rarity, “I am a fashion designer. I own and run Carousel Boutique, which is not too far from here.”

“A fashion designer?” said Troi, with a note of surprise. “But… I haven’t seen any ponies wearing clothing at all, aside from a bit of jewelry or other accessories.” She glanced at Applejack’s hat and the ties in her mane and tail and Apple Bloom’s bow as she said this.

Rarity nodded once and said, “It’s true that there isn’t much call for such things here in Ponyville itself, at least not on a day to day basis. Most of my business lately has been going to Canterlot, especially after the big wedding not too long ago. My suits and dresses have been flying off the racks, sometimes hardly before I’ve even finished them.” She turned to one of the smaller ponies and said, “My dear sister Sweetie Belle here has been a big help as of late. I don’t know what I’d do without her, these days.”

Sweetie Belle blushed, but Troi could tell that this made her very happy to hear. “I’m just glad you gave me another chance after all those disasters from before,” she said.

“As am I,” said Rarity, with a warm smile. “You’ve come a long way from those days and are learning a lot.” Once again, Troi could tell that Rarity’s praise made Sweetie Belle intensely happy, though it didn’t really take an empath to notice that. However, Troi noticed that she was sensing very strong feelings from someone else as well. She glanced down at Spike, and saw that he was gazing at Rarity while she spoke, his cheeks ablaze and a moony look in his eyes. Troi smiled inwardly, but didn’t draw attention to this as she turned back to the white unicorn. But then, she caught a similar feeling coming from someone else nearby as well, though it wasn’t quite as strong as what the dragon was putting out. She shifted her eyes around and noticed that Twilight Sparkle seemed to be occasionally darting her eyes toward Riker and then quickly looking away again, her cheeks momentarily reddening slightly each time she did so. Troi raised an eyebrow at this. It seemed as though the first officer himself hadn’t yet noticed the surreptitious looks he was getting. ‘I’ll have to mention this to Will later,’ she noted to herself, before turning back to the two white unicorn sisters.

“Why, you might even get a sewing cutie mark soon,” Rarity said to her sister.

“You really think so?!” said the younger pony excitedly.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” said Riker. “We’ve all noticed the marks that the older ponies have on their flanks. Are these what you call cutie marks?”

“Indeed they are,” said Rarity, nodding. “They’re marks that young ponies get when they come of age. These three here,” she said, gesturing to Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo, “have been trying very hard to make theirs appear. Most would say too hard.” The three fillies in question shuffled with embarrassment at this.

“Well, they ain’t managed to burn down the whole town quite yet,” said Applejack, with a chuckle, “so I reckon there ain’t too much harm in it.”

“Most intriguing,” said Data. He was studying each pony’s cutie mark as through memorizing them for later research.

“By the way,” said Rarity as she looked at Troi appraisingly. “I must say that your own dress there is simply marvelous. Oh, and you must tell me who does such wonderful things with your mane.”

“Why thank you,” said Troi, smiling broadly. “As for my hair, you’d have to speak to Mr. Mot. He’s a regular miracle worker.”

“Best barber in all of Starfleet,” said Riker with a nod. “Maybe you’ll get to meet him.” He then turned to Rainbow Dash. “So, how about you?”

Dash grinned and struck a pose. “I am the best weather pony in all of Ponyville. Probably all of Equestria, even.”

“Weather pony?” asked Worf. “Does that mean you’re a meteorologist?”

“Uh, what’s that?” asked Rainbow, not recognizing the word at all.

Data said, “A meteorologist is a specialist who studies the atmosphere and is often able to predict the weather before it happens.”

“Aw, heck no,” said Rainbow, shaking her head. “I don’t predict the weather, I make the weather.”

Troi tilted her head. “You… make the weather?”

Rainbow nodded. “That’s right! You notice how there isn’t a cloud in the sky today? That was all me. All clouds cleared in ten seconds flat! Next Tuesday, though, the weather team has a big thunderstorm planned, so you’ll want to stay inside then.”

“I’m not sure I understand you,” said Riker. “How do you control the weather? We didn’t register any weather control technology in our initials scans of the planet.”

Dash shrugged. “That’s probably because we don’t use machines for it. Well, there are some factories in Cloudsdale for the really big stuff, I guess, but for the most part, it’s just something that we pegasi do ourselves. It’s my job. How do you control the weather where you come from?”

Troi said, “Well, while we do have some weather control devices in place on our home planets to prevent the most severe weather, like tornadoes and hurricanes and such, the weather usually just sorts itself out without our intervention.”

Rainbow shared a look with her friends and raised an eyebrow. “Weird. That sounds sort of like the Everfree Forest.” She motioned in a vague westerly direction with one hoof. “Nopony can control the weather there. Fluttershy tends to get a little bit of spill over from there on occasion, since her cottage is just outside the forest, but I’m usually able to clear things up before it gets too bad.”

“Don’t forget to tell them about how awesome a flyer you are, Dash!” said Scootaloo with excitement.

Dash grinned and said, “Aw, I’m not one to brag…” This got her a chortle from most of the other ponies, mainly Applejack and Rarity. She gave them a somewhat nasty look, but before she could say anything, Scootaloo took up the slack.

“Dash is the fastest pony in the whole wide world,” said the orange filly. “She’s won the Best Young Flyers competition in Cloudsdale two years in a row now. I bet someday soon she’ll even be asked to join the Wonderbolts! They’d be fools not to take her in, if you ask me, especially since she’s even faster than they are, of course.”

“Aw, Scoots, you’re embarrassing me,” said Rainbow with a grin that let everyone know that she was as far from embarrassed as she could be at the moment. “Anyway, that just about sums me up. I guess that means it’s your turn now, ‘Shy.”

Everyone turned to the yellow pegasus at this point. When she saw that all eyes were now suddenly on her, she let out a small squeak and shrank down.

“You’ll have to forgive Fluttershy,” said Rarity kindly. “She’s not very good with large crowds like this.”

“No… no, it’s okay,” said Fluttershy, summoning up her courage. “Well, I… I take care of all the animals at my cottage and help them to find good homes with loving families… and I help out with waking some of them up from their hibernations during the Winter Wrap-Up… and I suppose I also help out if anypony’s pet is sick and the vet is too busy… and I raise and sell eggs… and I babysit sometimes... and I help out with the music during festivals and such… and I help Rarity with her design work sometimes… and I used to be a fashion model… and I… I… oh… I guess I don’t really do all that much. I’m sorry.”

After a brief silence, during which the other ponies and the away team simply sat there staring at Fluttershy, Riker cleared his throat and said, “It actually sounds like you do quite a bit, to me.”

“Oh no, it’s okay,” said Fluttershy, blushing profusely. “I know you’re just saying that to make me feel better because I don’t really have an actual full-time job like the other ponies. It’s awfully kind of you.”

“Darling, don’t sell yourself so short,” said Rarity. “Who cares if you don’t have a full-time nine-to-five job? You’ve helped us out so many times. Why if it weren’t for you, that huge dragon would still be sleeping on that nearby mountain and we’d all be breathing nothing but that horrid smoke right now.”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, “and don’t forget how you totally saved the day when the tornado for transferring water from Ponyville to Cloudsdale for the rainy season didn’t have enough power.”

“Or how ya got us past that manticore in the Everfree Forest when we were goin’ to get the Elements of Harmony back durin’ that whole thing with Night Mare Moon,” said Applejack.

“Or… how you saved me from that cockatrice,” said Twilight softly.

“Or, most importantly, how you sang my evil enchantress song when I couldn’t because of the poison joke!” said Pinkie Pie. “Especially since you had that really silly deep voice yourself at the same time.” She giggled at the memory.

Troi could sense that all of this attention was embarrassing Fluttershy terribly, so she took a different approach. “Fluttershy, it sounds like you’re very good with animals. Why don’t you tell us about them?”

“Oh yes,” said Fluttershy, perking up a bit. “Well, there’s Angel, my pet bunny. He helps out a lot with all of the other animals. I’d be lost without him. And there are the chickens that lay the eggs that I sell. And then there are all the other various animals waiting to be adopted.”

“It sounds like you have quite the menagerie,” said Troi. “I’d love to see it.”

“Really?” said Fluttershy hopefully. “Oh, I mean, yes! Sure, I know that they’d love to meet you. They’ve never seen a human before. How about tomorrow morning? If that’s okay, I mean.”

“That sounds delightful,” said Troi, smiling warmly.

Pinkie Pie looked around. “Well, everypony, I don’t know about you, but I’m starved. I think I’m going to go grab some hay fries and a few of those yummy looking apple fritters. And maybe a slice or three of one of those cakes that Mrs. Cake baked for us.” She got up from the table and made her way over to the buffet. All three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders were right behind her.

“Did you guys bring cider?” asked Rainbow Dash of Applejack. “Please tell me you brought cider.”

“Sure did,” said Applejack, nodding.

“Awesome!” said Rainbow Dash. She took off toward the beverage table, barely avoiding bowling over three or four other ponies that were nearby. A few seconds later, she was already back and holding a frothing tankard of rich-smelling apple cider.

Twilight looked at Riker, blushed again, and said, “Yeah, I hate to say it, but we probably shouldn’t keep you to ourselves all evening. I’m sure a lot of other ponies would like a chance to speak with you, too. I’m going to go get something as well.”

Riker nodded and turned to the others on the away team. Keeping his voice low, he said, “Go and mingle. Sample the local cuisine. And, most importantly, make yourselves available to anyone who wishes to speak with you.” Riker nodded once to Worf and said, “That includes you, Lieutenant.”

Worf grumbled. “I am a Klingon warrior, sir, not a diplomat.”

Riker shook his head. “You are also a Starfleet officer, Mr. Worf. This sort of thing is our bread and butter. Or would you prefer to return to the ship?”

“No, Commander,” said Worf, reluctantly. “That won’t be necessary. I will go and… mingle.”

“Fascinating,” said Picard, as he continued to watch what was being displayed on the view screen. “Simply remarkable.”

Next to him, Q was sprawled out in Troi’s chair, with his eyes closed and his head lolling to the side. He was snoring very loudly and obviously. When Picard spoke, he jerked upright and said, “Huh? Wha? You say something, Picard?” He glanced at the view screen. “Oh, finally. I thought they’d never stop yapping.”

“Q,” said Picard, with annoyance, “you say you want us to meet with these ponies, and yet, when we do, you do nothing but berate us. What do you want from us?”

“Fine, fine,” said Q grudgingly. “You have a point. It’s just that I’m glad the whole awkward introductory phase is finally over. Now then, I do believe it’s about time that I finally make my grand entrance. Last chance, Jean-Luc. Sure you don’t want me to teleport you down there?”

Picard sighed. It had been too much to hope for that Q would abandon his plans to interfere and simply let things run their natural course. He just hoped that Q didn’t make too big of a mess once he got started.

Party Crasher

Chapter 4 – Party Crasher

“Um, excuse me.”

Data had been using his tricorder to scan one of the columns that appeared to be made out of an actual giant candy cane, but when he heard the voice speaking, he stowed the device and turned around. Standing before him was the green unicorn from earlier who had fainted when she saw the away team. He accessed his memory banks and recalled that the Mayor had called this pony Lyra.

“May I help you?” he asked politely.

“Uh, I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy,” she said hesitantly. “But I have, like, a million questions to ask you. My name is Lyra Heartstrings. I heard that your name is Data, right?”

“That is correct. I am not currently busy at all. However, with that said, I am not sure if we have enough time for a million enquiries, but I will endeavor to answer as many as I am able,” said Data. At Lyra’s slight chuckle, he tilted his head. “Did I say something amusing?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just that I didn’t mean I literally had a million questions,” said the unicorn. “It’s just an expression. But I do have quite a few, all the same.”

Data stared ahead blankly for a fraction of a second, then nodded. “Ah. I understand. Well, I shall answer what I can.”

“Okay,” said Lyra. She paused, and then bowed her head. “Come on, Lyra, you can do this,” she muttered to herself. She shifted her eyes over to Bon Bon, who was sitting at a nearby table and smiling at her encouragingly. Lyra nodded her head and looked up at Data again. “Okay. So, um, what’s it like? You know, what’s it like to have… hands?”

Data tilted his head. “What an intriguing question. I have never truly considered the matter to any great extent until now.”

“I’ve read all the stories about humans and there’s just something about your… your hands that fascinates me,” said Lyra. “I just wanted to know what it’s like.”

Data considered briefly, then said, “Allow me to answer your question with a question of my own. What is it like to have hooves, or a tail, or a unicorn horn? I have noticed that unicorns are able to telekinetically lift and move objects with a force of an unknown nature. I find that to be very fascinating.”

“Our magic?” said Lyra. “Well, it’s… er… you know, I’ve never really thought about it before. It’s just something that comes naturally.”

“Then you understand my dilemma when it comes to describing what the experience of having hands is like,” said Data. “I have possessed them ever since I was first activated.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Activated? What do you mean?”

“I am an android,” said Data. “A humanoid machine. I was constructed by a human named Noonian Soong, who made me in his likeness.”

The unicorn’s eyes widened even more. “Wait… you were built? Including your hands, right?”

Data nodded. “That is correct.”

Lyra looked at Data’s hands and said, “Um… in that case, do you think it would be possible for me to… get some artificial hands as well?” She was blushing furiously.

Data opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Even though his brain was capable of working at sixty trillion operations per second, he was still finding himself at a complete loss to come up with an appropriate response to this question.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Worf was standing in a corner, somewhat apart from everyone else. He cradled a tankard of cider in his hands, occasionally lifting it up to take a swallow from it. He’d tried… mingling… but found that the ponies tended to shy away from his gruff manner, even though he’d tried his absolute best to be as friendly as he possibly could. For some reason, though, he felt like the extra effort had just made them even more afraid of him. It was just as well. He looked over at Counselor Troi, who was completely surrounded at the moment. Those three younger ponies from before, as well as the small dragon, the fashion unicorn, and that incredibly meek pegasus were among the throng that was encircling Troi. Despite being so closed in, she seemed to be greatly enjoying herself. Worf wished that he had her sense of calm in situations such as this. He would have given almost anything to be fighting a dozen Nausicaan warriors with a bat’leth in his hands, instead of being here.

“Hey,” said a voice from his right. Worf turned his head and saw the blue pegasus pony with the rainbow colored hair. He recalled that her name was Rainbow Dash, appropriately enough.

“Yes?” said Worf.

“Well, I couldn’t help but overhear when you were talking to Mr. Riker earlier,” said Rainbow Dash. “I believe you said that you were a… a Klingon warrior?”

Worf nodded. “Yes, that is correct. My people are called Klingons. We are a race of warriors.”

“So I guess you do a lot of fighting where you come from?” said the blue pony.

“I serve in Starfleet, rather than on a Klingon warship, so there isn’t as much fighting as a Klingon warrior would normally encounter, but even so, yes, I have seen my share of combat on the Enterprise, given my role as the chief of security,” said Worf.

“I bet this sort of thing is probably incredibly boring for you, huh,” said Dash while slowly scanning the room with her eyes. “Normally, Pinkie’s parties are way cooler than this, but this one is pretty lame. I mean, don’t get me wrong or anything. It’s totally awesome to meet you and your friends and all… it’s just that, well, it’s mostly just been a whole bunch of standing around and talking, you know? Heh… kind of like what we’re doing now, huh?”

Worf grunted. “Yes, I have to agree. I have never been one for… social functions such as this.”

A somewhat awkward silence hung in the air for a few moments, and then Rainbow asked, “So how do you like the cider? Pretty amazing, isn’t it?” She was holding another full tankard of cider in one of her front hooves. Worf had no clue how these ponies were able to hold things in their hooves like that, even with the handles on the tankards in this case, but decided not to pursue the matter. At any rate, this was at least the fourth or fifth such tankard that he’d seen the blue pony ingest since her first one from earlier. It was probably a very good thing that it wasn’t alcoholic. With that said, however, Worf would have preferred something with more kick to it, like chech'tluth.

“It is very nice,” said Worf, taking another swig of his own. “A fine warrior’s drink, though I think I still prefer prune juice overall.”

“Prune juice?” asked Rainbow. “Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever had that before. I’ll have to give it a try.” She lowered her eyes a moment, as if deliberating something, then looked up again. “So… how about we spar sometime?”

“Excuse me?” said Worf, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Listen,” said the blue pegasus, suddenly cutting loose with a torrent of words, as though this was something she had been holding in for a long time. “I have a black belt in karate, but I never have anypony to practice with around here. I tried to teach Apple Bloom at one point, but she didn’t take to it at all. Maybe I could get Scootaloo interested, but I haven’t had a good opportunity to mention it to her yet. Rarity, surprisingly, is no slouch, but she’s just not into it enough to want to spar with me. Applejack can brawl with the best of them, but she has no formal training and isn’t interested in taking any either, since she’s usually too busy on the farm. As for Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, or Fluttershy, man, forget about it. I mean, sure, I’ve seen what Fluttershy can do to a full-grown freaking bear when she’s practicing her chiropractics, but does she want to try to turn that into actual self defense? Not a chance. I used to train with my friend, Gilda, but… well… I haven’t seen her at all for a couple of years now, and… it’ll probably be a while before I see her again… if ever.” Dash looked more than just a little wistful as she said that last part. “Anyway, I just want somepony to spar with, that’s all. It’s kind of frustrating, you know? And I figured that you being a warrior and all, you might be up for a little sparring match.”

Worf had been listening politely, but then tilted his head as something she’d said struck him as odd. “Wait a moment. Back at the beginning, did you say karate? That is a form of fighting that originated on Earth a thousand years ago. How is it possible that you are familiar with it?”

Rainbow Dash copied Worf’s head tilt. “On Earth? How can that be? As far as I know, ponies have known about it for around the same amount of time.”

“Yes, this is something we were discussing earlier,” Worf said. “Apparently, it seems to be the case that there has been some sort of contact between Earth and this planet at some point in the past. But, again, I don’t understand how that can be possible.”

Rainbow shook her head and groaned. “Ugh, this is starting to give me a headache. This sort of thing is way more up Twilight’s alley than it is mine. I’ve read a few of the stories about humans and how they came from the other side of the rainbow or something like that, and they’re cool and all, but I don’t know much about the details of it. All I know is that I know karate and I’m itching to put my skills to the test against somepony like you, if you’re willing.”

Worf smiled. Maybe some of these ponies weren’t so bad after all. “It’s getting late today, but how about tomorrow morning? It would be an honor to face you.”

“Radical!” said Rainbow Dash. “Let’s go ask Applejack if we can borrow one of her fallow fields. My dojo, sadly, is closed for repairs at the moment, after… er, an unfortunate accident that I don’t care to go into.”

“Very well,” said Worf. “Let’s go ask her.”

Meanwhile, in yet another section of the room, Riker was busy chatting with Twilight Sparkle. Despite her earlier declaration to not occupy the away team all night, the purple unicorn had still found herself gravitating back to Riker’s presence. She had found that if she kept herself from looking directly at him for any length of time, the strange burning in her cheeks, not to mention the rest of her, wasn’t nearly as bad. But at the same time, she found it increasingly difficult to prevent herself from looking at him, all the same, nor did she really want to.

“So there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about,” said Twilight. “How is it that we’re able to understand one another so easily? If you were to visit some of the areas outside of Equestria, you’d find creatures that speak vastly different languages than what we speak here, so I can’t imagine that we, being from entirely separate planets, just happen to speak the same language. The odds against such a thing are incredible.”

Riker smiled and pointed to his combadge. “It’s thanks to this. We have something called the universal translator. It can decipher spoken language on the fly and render it in a form that is understandable to the listener. And, likewise, my speech is translated into a form that you will understand.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. “That tiny thing is capable of so much? Even the translation magic we have here in Equestria isn’t quite so immediate. And it’s all in that little badge?” When she realized that she was staring at the badge, and thus staring at his chest, her face went bright red again and she averted her eyes once more. She had no idea what was making her feel this way, and it was incredibly frustrating.

“To be fair,” said Riker, “while there is a basic translation program installed in all combadges, it’s really the library computer on the Enterprise to which they’re all linked that does the bulk of the work.”

“D-did you say… library…?” said Twilight, her eyes lighting up. She suddenly looked like a kid in a candy store.

“Indeed I did,” said Riker, grinning at her reaction. “The library computer on the Enterprise is a vast store of information on pretty much every aspect of life in the Federation and most of our neighbors. Scientific data, history, the arts, entertainment, you name it.”

Twilight was smiling from ear to ear. “Oh, you can’t possibly know just how much it would mean to me to be able to look through your library.”

Riker nodded. “Perhaps I can convince Captain Picard to let you take a look.” With a wink, he added, “Along with a tour of the ship, of course. It’s only fair that we return the favor, after all, given all of the hospitality we’ve received here.”

“Wow!” said Twilight excitedly. “I so very much look forward to it.” She took a moment to calm herself down a bit. She realized that during the past few exchanges, she had somehow managed to actually look him in the eyes without that strange heat immediately filling up her face. As soon as she made this realization, however, it brought the heat back with a vengeance, and she averted her eyes again. While looking down at the table with frustration that she tried her absolute best to hide from him, she said, “So, this is what it’s like for you all the time, huh? You sail around in your starship and find new planets to explore and people to meet? It sounds like an amazing life.” She risked another glance up at him again at the end.

Riker’s smile dimmed slightly, and he said, “Well, I have to be honest with you. The situation here is somewhat… unique. Normally, we wouldn’t make contact with a new culture right away. There’s usually months, perhaps even years, worth of planning that goes into a potential first contact scenario before anyone ever actually sets foot on the surface of a newfound planet. And sometimes, we simply decide it would be in the best interests of the new culture in question if we didn’t… contaminate it with our presence, before they’re ready. It is what we call our Prime Directive. We feel that it isn’t right for us to just barge in on a still developing civilization and pollute their natural progress with our presence before they are ready. To be perfectly candid, since your society hasn’t developed space travel yet, which is one of the main criteria we use to determine whether or not a first contact should take place, we almost assuredly would have left your world alone had we come across it via normal exploration.”

“Well, I have to say that I’m really glad you didn’t ignore us, in this case,” said Twilight, smiling through the burning in her cheeks. “But what did you mean when you said that the circumstances were unique?”

“Hmm, how should I put this…?” said Riker, already beginning to regret steering the conversation in this direction.

“What he means, my dear Twilight Sparkle,” said an overly loud and, to Riker’s ears, overly obnoxious voice from directly behind Twilight, “is that they are here all thanks to me.”

At the sound of that loud voice (which, Riker noted, was no longer being disguised as it had been before), the party essentially ground to a complete halt. Riker watched as Twilight’s pupils narrowed to pinpricks and her jaw dropped. It was as though she were experiencing something much more acute than simple surprise at a new voice unexpectedly joining the conversation. No, if his short time on this planet had made him any judge of pony expressions at all (and he’d definitely noticed some rather… interesting ones on Twilight’s face through the course of the night), she was currently exhibiting abject horror. Out of the corner of his eye, Riker noticed Troi suddenly jerk her head around in their direction, and then look around at the other ponies, all of whom seemed to be expressing similar emotions. He also noted that Worf and Data were already starting to move toward them as well, since the voice had been loud enough that everyone in the room had heard it.

Twilight Sparkle turned around as quickly as she could, expecting the absolute worst, and saw… something completely different from what she had been expecting. Standing before her was a burgundy earth pony, with brown mane and tail. Most peculiarly, his cutie mark was the same symbol that the Enterprise crew was wearing, that very badge that Riker had just been showing her, in fact. For that matter, the entire color scheme of this pony oddly seemed to match that of Riker’s uniform, what with the mostly burgundy coat and the black area around his cutie mark. Still, she’d know that voice anywhere. But it couldn’t be, could it?

Actually, now that she thought about it, she must have just been imagining things. Her initial horror on hearing that voice was entirely uncalled for. Now, in fact, she couldn’t even recall who it was exactly that she thought this strange pony’s voice had reminded her of in the first place. She blinked her eyes a few times in confusion, feeling as though she’d just been bucked in the head or else had ingested far too much of some of the Apple family’s harder variety of cider (or had been gazing into the eyes of Mr. Riker for too long while letting her thoughts wander). The feeling started to pass, and when she looked at the pony again, he smiled at her ingratiatingly. She returned the smile weakly. After all, she couldn’t explain this vague, lingering feeling of dread at all, and wasn’t it already fading away entirely? Still, even if she could no longer remember whatever it was that had her so incredibly spooked just a moment before, there was still something vaguely unsettling about this new pony, all the same.

“Q!” said Riker, getting to his feet. “What are you doing here?”

“What? I thought this party was open to everypony,” said Pony-Q, and then narrowed his eyes. “Not that there’s much of an actual party here at all, mind you.”

“What… were you saying… before?” asked Twilight, her voice slightly slurred, as though she was a bit muddled. Riker had no doubt whatsoever that this was Q’s doing, but chose not to challenge the entity about it, at least not at this moment.

“I said that the reason these fine aliens are here is because of me,” said Pony-Q. “I brought them here.”

“You’re… not really a pony yourself, are you?” said Twilight, her voice quickly returning to its normal state.

“Very perceptive, my dear,” said Pony-Q. “You’re obviously much smarter than you look. No, I am not a pony. This is merely a guise that I have taken.”

“Ya ain’t one of them changeling critters, are ya?” said Applejack, who had made her way over to them, along with Rainbow Dash and Worf. Similarly, Data was just getting to them, along with that fainting green unicorn that they had seen earlier and her cream colored earth pony friend. And, lastly, Troi arrived with most of Twilight’s other friends. Applejack glared angrily at the burgundy pony and said, “Because we had more than our fill of those varmints at the wedding the other day!”

“Oh please don’t lump me in with those tiresome creatures,” said Pony-Q dismissively. “Now that Queen Chrysalis certainly has a lot of style and charisma, I’ll grant, but the rest of them? What dullards. No creativity at all.”

“Then what are you?” asked Rainbow Dash.

Pony-Q bowed theatrically and said, “You may call me Q. It’s short for Q. I am a member of, appropriately enough, the Q Continuum, a race of omnipotent beings for whom the entire universe is a sandbox in which to play.”

“And what, may I ask, are you doing here?” asked Rarity. She was standing in a vaguely defensive posture in front of her sister and her two friends. Sweetie Belle, for her part, was trying her best to see around Rarity, as were Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

“Why am I here, you ask?” said Pony-Q. “It’s very simple. I am here to liven up this horrifically pedestrian thing that bears only the vaguest of resemblances to an actual party.” He turned to Pinkie Pie and said, “My dearest Pinkie, I know you tried your best with what little you had to work with, but I’m sorry. This party is truly the pits.”

Pinkie Pie, though as concerned about this unexpected party-crasher as any of the other ponies, especially since the humans seemed to not like him very much either, decided that directly showing fear would be useless and that no harm could come from playing along with him, at least for now. She nodded and said, “I know, right? I told the Mayor we at least needed a band.”

“Then, my dear, it is a very lucky thing for you that I’m here,” said Pony-Q. “One band coming right up!” He tapped one of his front hooves on the floor and three new ponies appeared behind him in a burst of light and sound, causing all the other ponies to flinch back in surprise. The new ponies wore the same color scheme as Pony-Q with the same cutie mark (though they were missing the captain pips, Riker noted). All three of them, and now Pony-Q as well, were wearing huge sombreros and frilly blue/white polka dot bowties at their necks. One pony was carrying an acoustic guitar, another had a violin, and the third was holding a guitarrón mexicano. Pony-Q himself held a trumpet to his lips and let fly with the first few notes of a peppy mariachi rendition of “La Paloma,” with the other three band members quickly joining in. Pony-Q played for a bit longer, and then lowered the trumpet. He tapped the floor again and a fourth pony appeared, to which Pony-Q’s own costume had been transferred. Pony-Q handed the trumpet to this pony and turned back to Pinkie Pie while the band played on.

“Nice!” said Pinkie. “Not what I would have chosen, but still pretty neat.”

“Q!” said Riker, with great annoyance. “Enough of this!”

“Oh no, Riker,” said Pony-Q, shaking his head defiantly. “Not this time! We’re not aboard your dull starship where fun goes to die, and you’re not the boss of me, so nyah nyah nyah!”

“So, uh,” said Twilight, as she watched the burgundy pony dance a small jig to the music while Riker fumed, “it’s pretty clear that you already know one another…”

Worf suppressed a growl and said, “We’ve had… dealings… with this creature in the past, yes.” He was so very tempted to draw his phaser and open fire, futile though he knew it would be. The only thing holding him back was the danger to bystanders.

“Dealings? Creature?!” said Pony-Q, in an offended tone of voice. “Worf, you wound me. But I, magnanimous and magnificent being that I am, forgive you for your transgressions. Here, have a cigar.” Pony-Q tapped the floor again and lit cigars appeared in the mouths of Worf, Riker, and Data. Worf immediately took the cigar from his mouth, snapped it in half, and then snapped the two halves into quarters. Data and Riker removed theirs as well, though less quickly and violently than Worf had.

“What do you want, Q?” said Riker, the aggravation obvious in his voice.

Pony-Q shrugged. “Well, my work here is actually more or less done, at least for the time being anyway. I just wanted to liven up this squaresville snore-fest of a party a little bit, that’s all. Having accomplished that, I think I’ll sample a few of the various flower sandwiches.” He took a few steps toward the buffet table, and then turned back. “Now don’t let my arrival kill the mood or anything. Go on, go on. Get back to it. I believe, Riker, that you were about to regale dear Twilight with the absolutely thrilling tale of how I launched your ship clear across the galaxy in a matter of minutes.” He turned back to the buffet table, and suddenly gasped in delight. “Ooh, forget the sandwiches! I see that somepony thoughtfully set out a bowl of gemstones for any dragons that may be in attendance. Mmm, I think I’ll have a few sapphires, and maybe a ruby or two. Don’t worry, Spike, there’ll still be plenty left for you, I assure you.” Pony-Q nodded to the small dragon, who merely stared at him with the same wide-eyed astonishment and wariness that most of the others did. Pony-Q snatched up a few gems and popped them into his mouth. He turned around, stood up on his hind legs and made shooing motions toward Riker and Twilight with his front hooves. Then he leaned back and rested his elbows on the buffet table and merely began to watch.

All eyes remained on Pony-Q for several moments, but when it appeared that he clearly wasn’t going to be doing anything else interesting for the time being, aside from munching on gemstones, the party began to return to some vague semblance of normality. The mariachi band continued to play.

Riker lowered his voice and addressed the away team. “Resume whatever you were doing before Q showed up. Try to keep everyone as calm as possible.”

“I don’t think that will be an issue,” said Troi, somewhat ominously.

“What do you mean by that?” asked Worf.

“I’d prefer not to discuss it in this crowd,” said Troi, “but I think it’s rather significant. When we get a moment alone, I’ll explain in more detail.”

“Very well,” said Riker. “Carry on for now.” He watched as the away team moved away, and then sat down again next to Twilight Sparkle. She still looked a bit dazed and unsettled by Q’s sudden appearance. “Are you okay?”

Twilight flinched a bit as though she’d be lost in thought. “Er… yes, sorry. I was just thinking about something. I don’t know why, but that Q pony reminds me of someone else. It’s like it’s right on the edge of my memory, but I just can’t bring it into focus for some reason. I feel like it’s very important that I remember, but I… just can’t.”

Riker frowned. “Do you feel like you’re being coerced in some way?”

The purple pony frowned as well. “It’s… possible. Does Q really have that sort of power?”

“He is, as he claims, essentially omnipotent,” said Riker. “He once shared his power with me and tried to get me to join their Continuum. Even in the brief time I had the power, I… kind of let it go to my head. Fortunately, with the help of my colleagues, I was able to regain my humanity and give up the powers, but… it was rather intoxicating, all the same. So in short, yes, he does indeed have the ability. And if he is intentionally interfering with your memories in some way, I hate to admit it, but there’s probably not a whole lot that can be done about it, until he decides otherwise.”

“That’s… rather terrifying,” said Twilight, trying and only partially succeeding at suppressing a shudder. “Darn it, even that seems familiar to me somehow, but I just can’t put my hoof on how or why.”

“I can try to confront him again,” said Riker, looking over at the omnipotent entity. Pony-Q grinned back at him. Riker narrowed his eyes and turned back to the pony sitting next to him. “On occasion, we have been able to persuade him to be reasonable about some of the more irritating things that he does. Usually, though, he just does whatever he wants, regardless.” He made as if to get up from the table again.

“No!” said Twilight, more sharply than she had intended, which caused her to blush yet again, to her frustration and annoyance. “Please. Don’t put yourself at risk for my sake.” She looked around at the other ponies. “None of the others seem to be affected by this, or at least if they are, it doesn’t seem to be affecting them as strongly as it is me. No, for now at least, I think we should just pretend like everything is okay. Let’s not antagonize him if we don’t need to. If whatever it is that I’m not able to remember is somehow a threat to him, perhaps it’s better that I don’t remember it, at least for the time being.”

“Are you sure?” said Riker, concern evident in his voice. “I don’t like to see anyone suffering needlessly.”

Twilight smiled wanly. “I’m not suffering really. It’s just a nagging feeling that there’s something going on here, something beyond what is apparent on the surface.” Her face flushed bright red once more and she added, “I… I do appreciate your concern, though. So… anyway, what were you saying, before we were so rudely interrupted?”

Riker leaned back in his chair and sighed. “Right, well, he is correct about one thing at least. The reason we are here is because of him, though we are more familiar with him in his human form. As he said, without warning, he suddenly launched our ship over forty thousand light years from our initial position to here. The trip took about three minutes thanks to his powers, but under our own engines, the return trip would take almost thirty years, even at maximum speed. After we arrived in orbit, he said that he would refuse to send us back until we came down here and met you all.”

Twilight eyes increasingly widened as she listened to the story. She shook her head in confusion. “It’s amazing that he really has that much power. But… why here? Why us? What possible reason could he have to bring you so far just to meet us?”

“That is one of the things he refuses to tell us,” said Riker. “But with Q, there’s always an angle of some sort. There’s always some sort of ulterior motive behind everything he does.”

With a burst of light and sound, Pony-Q appeared at the table between Riker and Twilight Sparkle, causing both of them to flinch back. “Riker, you are so paranoid. As I’ve been telling Jean-Luc over and over again, I have very little planned here, this time. I am merely the catalyst. I bring you here and force you to beam down, and then you do the rest. I simply sit back and watch. And provide the music, as needed.”

“Er, ‘beam down’?” asked Twilight.

“Ugh,” said Pony-Q with utter boredom, laying his head down on the table and closing his eyes. “I’ll let you field that one, Riker.”

“Our ship has a transportation system that allows us to break down our bodies into energy, send that energy through space to a distant location nearly instantaneously, and then reintegrate ourselves at the target location,” explained Riker. “We simply call it ‘beaming down.’”

“Oh, so it’s kind of like unicorn teleportation,” said Twilight, nodding.

Riker blinked and said, “Um… well, I didn’t know that unicorns could teleport, but… yes, I suppose it would be like that.”

“I have to admit, though,” said Twilight, glancing at Pony-Q, “that it’s rather unnerving to see an earth pony teleporting around like that.”

“And why do you think I chose the guise of an earth pony in the first place?” said Pony-Q with a grin. “It’ll raise so many more eyebrows if I’m in this form when I teleport or start flying around like a pegasus than it would if I were, say, in the form of an alicorn, obviously. But whatever… anyway, I’ll be so glad when you finally get all these little technicalities about universal translators and transporters and cutie marks and unicorn teleportation and weather control and whatever other boring stuff out of the way, so that you can start talking about things with more substance to them.”

“And just what is it that you’d like us to discuss, exactly?” asked Riker in exasperation. “Anything in particular?”

“Oh, whatever comes to mind,” said Pony-Q. “But please, just stop explaining all the mundane crap to one another. It’s so very tiresome.”

Riker and Twilight glanced at each other, and then back at Pony-Q.

“Oh for the love of…” muttered Pony-Q. “Okay, how about you share some of those old myths and legends from your respective histories about each other? That should be fascinating, I’m sure. But, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over there, way out of earshot.” Pony-Q stood up and walked away, heading in the general direction of the buffet table again. Ponies hastily moved to get out of his way as he walked past them.

“I don’t think anywhere is truly out of his earshot,” muttered Riker.

“Well,” said Twilight, with a shrug, “be that as it may, I suppose that is as good a topic as any other. It really is rather strange that we’d be myths in each other’s cultures, after all. And, I admit, I’m definitely interested to share them with you.” And there was that aggravating blush yet again. Twilight felt like kicking herself. If only she could figure out what was causing it… She cast her eyes briefly in Pony-Q’s direction as she pondered this little problem.

“All right,” said Riker. “I think I know a good one to start off with.” With that, he started telling the tale of Pegasus, son of Poseidon and Medusa, and his brother Chrysaor, and how they’d been both born from the remains of the Gorgon after she’d been slain by the hero Perseus.

On the bridge of the Enterprise, Q suddenly looked around as though he’d heard something out of the ordinary.

Picard opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but Q made a shushing sound and held up a finger. “Hold on, I thought I sensed…” Q waited a moment, then sighed and let his shoulders slump. “And I did. All right, Picard, hold the fort for me here. I’ll be right back.” He teleported away, leaving Picard to wonder what was going on.

Less than a second later, he reappeared on the outer hull of the Enterprise, on the stardrive section, halfway between the two warp nacelles. He looked around again and said, “All right, Q, I know you’re here. Come out of hiding already.”

With a burst of light and sound, another entity appeared, humanoid in appearance with blonde hair and wearing a gray and green jumpsuit. “Took you long enough to detect me,” said the newcomer.

“I sensed you when you first arrived, actually,” said Q. “Back before the away team even beamed down. But you seem to have gotten restless all of a sudden. What do you want?”

“Well,” said the other Q, “I wanted to get your attention so that I could warn you. At first, I was the only one who knew about this new little excursion of yours, and I was content to simply watch how it turned out, but now the rest of the Continuum knows.”

“I couldn’t care less,” said Q. “I’m not doing anything wrong this time.”

“Yet, anyway,” said the second Q. “However, it’s not so much that the Continuum as a whole knows about it, but that she knows.”

“What?! Q knows that I’m here? I thought you said you wouldn’t tell her anything!” said Q angrily. “I thought we were bros, man!”

Q2 held up and waved his hands defensively and said, “I didn’t breathe a single word to her about any of what we talked about concerning this world! But you know how she is! She has her ways of finding these things out.”

“Argh! If she shows up, it could ruin everything!” said Q, seething.

“Ruin what?” asked Q2. “I’ve been watching you all this time and even I can’t figure out what you’re up to yet.”

“Listen, what I’m planning here is of no concern to the Continuum or to her,” said Q. “All I’m doing is establishing relations between two species for whom I have a particular fondness. That is all, nothing more and nothing less.”

“Q is not going to see it that way,” said Q2. “No, she won’t see it that way at all.”

“What do you mean?” asked Q.

“Well, let’s just say that if I were you, and most fortunately I am not, but if I were, I would steer clear of Canterlot altogether,” said Q2.

“What?” said Q in surprise. “Wait… she thinks I’m here… to see Celestia?”

“Well,” said Q2. “To be perfectly honest, I’m surprised that you haven’t been to see her yet, myself. I thought that would’ve been one of the first things you’d do.”

“You think I want to spend another several thousand years trapped in stone?” said Q. “My other body is still sitting there in that statue garden even at this very moment, and I have no interest in adding another statue to her collection, either as a pony or as a human. Besides, I…” He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “My feelings for Celestia have cooled since then. I have no interest in paying her a visit whatsoever.”

“You,” said Q2, shaking his head, “are a terrible, horrible, abysmal liar. You always have been and you always will be. I’m surprised the mortals don’t catch you out more often than they already do.”

Q hung his head. “You’re right. I do want to see her again. I need to see her again. We didn’t part ways under the best of circumstances last time, as you well know. At the very least, I just want to try to make peace with her, if nothing else.”

“Q, as far as Celestia is concerned, you are nothing but a statue, as you said,” said Q2. “She has no idea that you are out here gallivanting around, free and clear. What do you think she will do when you show up? You’ve already hoodwinked these ponies into not recognizing you, even though some of them immediately did as soon as you opened your big mouth in their presence. At least until you messed with their heads, anyway.”

“That was for their own good,” said Q defensively. “I couldn’t just have them knowing that the entity they thought of as Discord was free once again! It would have made things a lot more difficult.”

“Are you going to risk revealing yourself to Celestia then?” asked Q2. “Won’t that also ruin whatever the &~%|(!*^$`+# you have planned here as well?”

“It… might,” said Q. “But it may actually work in my favor. Either way, I still have to risk it. I have to see her, at least once more. Surely you can understand that, Q?”

“I understand it just fine,” said Q2. “After all, I was the one who suggested you come back here, wasn’t I? But Q certainly won’t. I’m not saying not do it, mind you. I’m just saying that if you reveal yourself to Celestia, I haven’t the slightest clue how Q will react. But I can assure you that whatever she does, it probably won’t be pretty.”

Q wrung his hands and started pacing. “Look, just… just run interference for me, okay? You can do that much, can’t you?”

Q2 tilted his head and crossed his arms. “And why, pray tell, would I get myself involved in this at all? What possible reason could I have to be that stupid? She already thinks you and I are in cahoots even now, you know.”

“And that’s exactly why you should help me!” said Q. “If things go belly up, do you think she’ll stop at just me? No, you said it yourself. She knows I’m here. And that means she knows you are here as well.”

Q2 frowned. “So why shouldn’t I just go to her right now and tell her about all of this? If I come clean now, maybe she’ll leave me out of it, at least.”

“You think so, huh?” said Q, crossing his own arms and regarding his fellow Q. “You’re not forgetting that incident with the Deltived asteroid belt again, are you? You recall just how incensed she was about that whole affair, right? I doubt she’s completely forgiven you, even now.”

Q2 ground his teeth and then shook his head. “Okay. Okay, &~%|(!*^$`+# it all. You have a point. I’ll see what I can do. I can’t guarantee anything, of course, especially if she’s able to convince the rest of the Continuum that you’re up to no good once again, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Q, you’re a lifesaver,” said Q. “That’s all I can ask.”

“But you, my friend, are going to owe me big time for this,” said Q2. He then disappeared in a burst of light and sound, leaving Q standing alone on the Enterprise hull.

Q considered his options and then merely shrugged. The wheels were already in motion, and there was nothing he could do now but see how things played out. He teleported back onto the bridge of the Enterprise. At Picard’s questioning look, Q smiled and said, “Nothing to concern yourself with, Jean-Luc. Nothing at all.”

“And that,” said Twilight Sparkle, “is the legend of how the brave human warrior Megan defeated the dark lord Tirek with the Rainbow of Light.”

“This Megan features in a lot of your myths,” noted Riker. “She was also involved in the story with… the Smooze, I believe you called it?”

“Yeah,” said Twilight. “Her younger brother and sister were involved in that as well, along with the many others. And… well, that’s all of the myths I know that involve humans.” She brought a hoof to her mouth and stifled a yawn. “Wow, it’s even later than I thought. How the time flies when you’re having fun, huh?” She looked into Riker’s eyes briefly, and then averted her own, blushing yet again, while mentally kicking herself.

To spare her any more of the embarrassment that she’d obviously been feeling, which he’d pretended all evening not to notice, Riker looked around the rest of the room. Most of the other ponies had already left, including Fluttershy, Applejack with Apple Bloom, and Rarity with Sweetie Belle. Spike had also left for the library a little bit ago, after asking Pinkie Pie if he could take the leftover gems with him. Scootaloo had stayed behind in order to hang out some more with Rainbow Dash, but she was currently fast asleep at a nearby table. Rainbow Dash was sitting at the same table, with yet another full tankard of cider in front of her, along with Worf, who was also nursing another tankard of the stuff. They were having what appeared to be a rather intense conversation, but Riker couldn’t make out what they were saying since they were keeping their voices low for Scootaloo’s sake. In any case, Riker was glad that Worf had found at least one pony that he seemed to get along with here. He looked over at Data and Troi, who were just finishing up with helping Pinkie Pie and the Cakes clean up after the party. Pony-Q had long ago teleported away to who knows where, but Riker knew they hadn’t seen the last of him at all. His mariachi band, however, had only just vanished a few minutes ago, just after Spike had departed.

“Well,” he said, “I suppose we should be getting back to our ship for the night. It’s been a long day. Before I turn in, however, I will speak to the Captain about arranging a tour for you and your friends. I’m sure he’ll agree to it.”

Twilight smiled and said, “I look forward to it.” With that, both of them got up from their table and headed toward the others. They picked up on the end of the conversation between Rainbow Dash and Worf as they approached.

“So, we’ll meet here first thing in the morning and then head on over to Sweet Apple Acres, right?” said Dash.

“Yes,” said Worf. “Again, I look forward to sparring with you.”

“Cool,” said Rainbow, grinning. “Anyhow, I should be getting Scoots home. Her parents are probably worried sick about her by now. I hope she doesn’t get in too much trouble for staying out so late. I kinda feel like it’s my fault.”

“She really looks up to you, doesn’t she?” said Troi, who approached the table along with Data and Pinkie Pie.

“Yeah,” said Dash. She looked down at Scootaloo and smiled softly, then raised a hoof and lightly ruffled the filly’s purple mane while she slept. “I guess she does. Even though we’re not actually related, I… well, I often think of her as the little sister I never had. But don’t any of you dare tell her I said that.” She nudged the small orange pony awake and said, “C’mon, kiddo, it’s pretty late. Let’s get you home to bed, huh? Don’t worry. I’ll take the rap with your parents so you won’t get in trouble.”

Scootaloo shook her head slowly and muttered, “Aw, do we have to? Why can’t we go back to your place? It’s been a while since the last time you let me sleepover.”

Rainbow considered it for a moment, and then said, “You know what? Why not? Tank’s been a bit lonely with just me around, since I’m usually not home for most of the day anyway. We should still drop by your place first to let your folks know that you’re all right, at least.”

“Awesome,” said Scootaloo sleepily, and began to nod off once more, but Rainbow nudged her awake again. She nodded to the others and wrapped a wing around the orange filly as they headed out the door.

Pinkie Pie watched them go, and then said, “Well, I have to admit that the party didn’t turn out so bad in the end, after all. That Q guy’s music really livened things up quite a bit, and I have gained a new appreciation for mariachi, so it’s all good. Why do you guys seem to think he’s such a big meanie pants anyway?”

Troi frowned and said, “He has appeared to us several times in the past, and every time, it has been… an ordeal.”

“To say the least,” muttered Worf. “He’s a menace.”

“I have to admit,” said Twilight, “he makes me rather uncomfortable as well.”

Troi glanced meaningfully at Riker, but didn’t say anything. He nodded slightly in return. He then turned to Pinkie and said, “I wouldn’t worry too much about him, at least for the moment. He’s a capricious entity, and his actions have undeniably caused us harm in the past, but he’s rarely been outright intentionally malevolent. And, so far at least, this has been the mildest visit from him that we’ve had yet, aside from the initial relocation of our ship, anyway. Still, when Q is involved, caution is always advised.”

Pinkie shrugged and said, “I’ll take your word for it, but I personally thought he was a hoot.” She let out a huge yawn, and then grinned. “Sorry about that. I’m about to fall asleep on my hooves here.”

“Then we’ll get out of your hair,” said Riker. “Thanks once again for the hospitality. We appreciate it.” He nodded to the away team members as a signal, and they stood up next to him. He tapped his combadge and said, “Riker to Enterprise. Four to beam up.”

Twilight, Pinkie, and the Cakes watched in awe as the cascading transporter beams enveloped the away team and then faded out of existence.

“Wow,” said Pinkie. “That’s a pretty neat trick.”

After they reappeared in the transporter room, Troi took Riker aside for a moment. “Will,” she said, “down on the planet when Q first appeared… those ponies weren’t just surprised. Many of them were flat out terrified. A few of them were also intensely angry and seemed as though they wanted to attack him on sight, or, at least, as soon as they heard his voice anyway. After they saw him, however, I sensed confusion, as though the pony guise that he’d adopted wasn’t what they’d expected to see.”

“Yeah, I got a good look at Twilight’s face when she first heard him speak,” said Riker. “She looked as though she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that some horrible monster had appeared right behind her.”

“More than that,” said Troi, “there was a deep sense of familiarity. But then… it all just faded away, the terror, the rage, the sense of familiarity, everything. Except for Twilight Sparkle, that is. It seemed like she retained a sliver of whatever it was they felt when Q first appeared. Q obviously did something to them to mask what I have to assume were their memories of a previous encounter with him. I simply can’t imagine what he must have done to them in the past to elicit such an intense reaction from them just from hearing his voice, but it can’t have been pleasant.”

Riker nodded. “Twilight said that she felt like there was something important that she should have been remembering, but couldn’t. I’ll definitely mention this to the Captain in my report,” said Riker.

“Oh, and by the way, Will,” said Troi, with a bit of a smirk on her face. “Speaking of Twilight, she seems a bit… taken with you.”

Riker raised an eyebrow. “You noticed that too, huh?”

“Oh come on,” said Troi. “I’m an empath, remember? Not that it really required an empath to notice. Besides, she made it a point to be around you the whole night, and several times I noticed her looking at you and then blushing and turning away the instant you made eye contact. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one in the room who noticed it either. Rarity seemed to be paying particular attention to the two of you as well.”

“Well, I have to admit, she is kind of cute,” said Riker, with a grin.

“Isn’t she a bit young for you, Commander?” asked Troi, crossing her arms. “And also perhaps a bit too… pony for you?”

“Jealous?” asked Riker. Troi responded by punching him in the arm.

“Ow!” Riker said with a laugh, and then sighed and shrugged. “I’m just teasing. Anyway, I’m sure it’s just a harmless crush. She is indeed a lovely girl, I suppose, for a pony anyway, but I can safely say that I don’t feel the same way about her in return. It’s actually more than a little weird to consider, given that they look a bit too much like ponies from home, though at the same time I have to admit that it’s rather flattering, too.”

“Just be careful, Will,” said Troi in a more serious tone. “For some reason, I get the impression that she doesn’t actually fully recognize her feelings for what they are. She seems somewhat frustrated by them, perhaps even frightened by them. For now, I would advise caution and that you let her down as gently as possible, if it comes to that.”

“Don’t worry, Deanna,” said Riker. “I won’t do anything to hurt her if I can help it. Anyway, you look rather tired. It’s been a long day. You should get some rest.”

“You as well,” said Troi. “You’ve been awake since the last night shift, after all.”

Riker stifled a yawn and said, “And don’t I know it. Well, I have to report to Captain Picard first, as well as ask him about arranging a tour for our new friends. We’ll beam back down first thing in the morning. I know you have plans with Fluttershy, and Worf has apparently agreed to a sparring match with Rainbow Dash as well. I should probably put Dr. Crusher on alert for that one. Also, I’m not sure what’s up with Data and that green unicorn… Lyra, I think her name was, but they were talking well into the night before she finally left with her friend. Oh well, I suppose they can sort it all out in the morning. Well, morning for the ponies anyway. It’s still early evening ship time.”

“Yeah,” said Troi, “I hate adjusting to planetside time differences too, but we’ll manage, assuming we stay here that long, of course.”

Riker nodded. “Good night, Counselor.”

“Good night, Commander,” said Troi, with a smile.

They parted ways, with Riker headed for the bridge and Troi to her quarters. As Riker rode the turbolift on the way to the bridge, he mulled over what he was going to tell the Captain. So much had happened that it would be difficult to condense it down. The turbolift doors opened and Riker strode out onto the bridge, but then stopped in his tracks. On the main view screen was himself, as seen from behind. He turned around and looked behind him, but didn’t see anything that would be recording this view. He turned back when he heard Captain Picard speaking.

“Q, I told you that you don’t need to keep recording my away team like this, especially now that they’re on the ship,” said Picard. “In fact, I insist that you stop.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining when they were down on the surface,” retorted Q.

Riker walked toward Picard and Q. “What’s going on here?” he said.

Picard sighed and said, “Q used his powers to set it up so that the view screen showed what was happening down on the surface of the planet. He created a… camera of some sort. It has been following you since shortly after you arrived in Ponyville. I should have made you aware of it as soon as he did it, but I must admit that I became distracted by the rather colorful citizens of the planet below.”

“I… see,” said Riker. “Well, I suppose that means that my report to you won’t need to be so detailed, if you’ve already seen everything.”

“I still want your official report,” said Picard, “but it can wait until later.” He turned to Q and said, “Q, for the last time, shut that damned thing off!”

“If you insist,” said Q. He waved a hand and the view screen went back to showing the planet from orbit. “I’m going to turn it back on tomorrow, though, after they beam down again. Maybe do a little split screen action as needed. Oh and by the way, Jean-Luc, if I were you, I’d definitely take Riker up on his offer to the ponies to let them have a tour of the ship. Let’s just consider that to be another condition of my letting you leave here at some point.”

Riker was somewhat annoyed that the away team had been eavesdropped upon for almost the entire duration of their time on the planet surface, but chose not to voice this. He just chalked it up to yet more of Q’s aggravating antics. Instead, he said, “I suppose that means that you overheard what Deanna and I were talking about in the transporter room as well, then?”

Picard nodded, and looked at Q with narrowed eyes. “Yes. Q and I have already discussed that, but Q is being less than forthcoming, as usual.”

“Let me put it as plainly as I can so that your simple human minds can understand it: it’s none of your damned business,” said Q bitterly. “It’s all in the past, regardless. I assure you that I have no intention of reawakening those dark times if I can at all avoid it, and I’d rather not think about it, if you don’t mind. It wasn’t pleasant, even for me. In fact, now that you’ve soured my mood, I’ll take my leave of you for the time being. Until tomorrow, Jean-Luc.” He tossed off a haphazard salute, and then disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

Picard and Riker shared a glance. If whatever had happened was bad enough that even Q was ashamed of it, as he had appeared to be… well, Picard didn’t care to dwell on it, especially considering all of the things that the entity had done to him and his crew, none of which Q ever seemed to display an iota of regret about. Picard let the matter drop for now and turned back to Riker. “Well, Number One, let us discuss your promise to our new friends of a tour of the ship, as well as access to our library computers.”

“I hope that wasn’t too presumptuous of me, sir,” said Riker, a bit chagrined.

“Perhaps, Number One,” said Picard, with a smile. “But, thanks to Q, the damage has already been done as far as the Prime Directive is concerned. I suppose I should be trying to mitigate that by not allowing them to see the full breadth of our technology, but I just can’t help but look forward to having them aboard as our guests. There’s just… something about these ponies. So, yes, I will permit tours of the ship. With that out of the way, who all will be among the party to board?”

Riker thought about it for a bit, and said, “Well, for now, I think we should limit it to Twilight Sparkle and her immediate circle of friends, since they are the official liaisons per the Mayor’s instructions. While I’m pretty sure that most of the town would like to see our ship, I’m not sure we can handle that many, at least not all at once.”

Picard nodded. “Very well. Make it so. Tell Miss Sparkle that she and her friends are welcome aboard at their earliest convenience. We can schedule other tours later for anyone else that wishes. To be honest, I’m also thinking of scheduling a short shore leave for the crew here as well, provided those in authority agree. But for now, Number One, I believe that you’ve had a rather long day and night before. Mr. Data and I can handle things up here for the time being. Go, get some sleep.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Riker. As he entered the turbolift, he overheard as Data turned to Picard and said, “Captain, I have a special request to make. It concerns the unicorn known as Lyra…” The doors shut and Riker didn’t hear the rest of it.

Slice of Life

Chapter 5 – Slice of Life

The next morning, Deanna Troi materialized in a clearing to the west of Ponyville. In the distance, she could see the small cottage which she assumed belonged to Fluttershy, so she started in that direction. As she neared the cottage, she began to pick up impressions from the forest beyond. Similar to everything else she had sensed on this world so far, the creatures in the forest seemed to have a much higher level of awareness than animals on most other worlds. From the forest denizens, however, she also sensed a profound wildness that was definitely absent from the creatures that she’d sensed elsewhere. Combined with the intelligence, it was a rather frightening prospect indeed. She was glad that Q had been straight with them, for once, and had warned them away from this place. Why anyone, especially a pony as timid as Fluttershy, would want to live next to this place boggled Troi’s mind.

She was so engrossed in her musings about the forest that it startled her when the door to the cottage suddenly sprang open and a small white bunny bounded out, carrying a basket full of vegetables. Behind the bunny, Fluttershy herself walked out, carrying a similar basket filled with bird feed. When she caught sight of Troi, she smiled warmly.

“Good morning, Counselor Troi,” she said softly. “I’m very happy you were able to visit. I’m just about to feed the animals their breakfast, if you want to join me.”

“Please, call me Deanna,” said Troi with an equally warm smile. She fell into step beside Fluttershy. “So this is Angel?” she asked, gesturing toward the bunny.

“Yes,” said Fluttershy. “Angel Bunny! Come say hello.”

The bunny set his basket aside and hopped back to Troi and looked up at her appraisingly. He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. Troi got the feeling that he didn’t quite know what to make of her yet. She knelt down in front of him and said, “Hello, Angel. My name is Deanna. It’s nice to meet you.”

The bunny straightened up and stuck out his paw in a manner that indicated rather clearly that he wanted to shake her hand. With amusement, Troi extended her own hand and clasped his paw. The bunny did indeed shake his paw up and down, then nodded in satisfaction and turned back to the basket of food.

“I think he likes you,” said Fluttershy. “He’s usually very shy around newcomers. You must have a way with animals yourself.”

“Not so much,” said Troi. “You’d think, being an empath, I’d have better luck with them, but I’m not much better than anyone else in that regard. I have vague memories of my family owning a dog when I was very small, but that was a long time ago. Also, I’ve done some pet-sitting for Data’s cat Spot on occasion as well. I have to admit that she didn’t take to me very well, though. She only seems to really like Lieutenant Barclay and Data himself.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” said Fluttershy. “All of my friends and I have pets. In fact, it wasn’t too long ago that I helped Rainbow Dash pick out her pet tortoise. She was the last of us to get a pet, aside from Spike.”

“A tortoise?” said Troi with mild surprise, thinking back to the bold pegasus with the rainbow-colored mane. “That sounds like a somewhat odd choice of pet for her.”

“Tank proved himself in an elaborate contest to determine the best pet for her,” said Fluttershy. “Well, he might not have technically won the competition, but he proved to be the most loyal of them all, so he won on a loophole. I’m glad, because I personally think that they’re a perfect match. I was rooting for him to be picked, all along.”

“So what sort of pets do your other friends have?” asked Troi.

Fluttershy paused to toss some feed to her chickens, and then said, “Well, Twilight Sparkle has an owl named Owloysius. I’m not sure where he came from, actually. He just appeared one day. Spike was very jealous at first.”

“Spike? The dragon?” asked Troi. “Why would he be jealous of an owl?”

“He’s still a baby dragon,” said Fluttershy. “He thought that Twilight was trying to replace him as her assistant with Owloysius.”

“Aw,” said Troi sympathetically, “that’s terrible.”

“Yes, it was quite sad,” said Fluttershy. “He even ran away from home for a while, but he came to realize that Twilight would never replace him. She calls him her #1 assistant, but he’s really more like a little brother to her. It turned out okay, and they’re all good friends now, especially now that Peewee has joined their little family.”

“Peewee?” asked Troi.

“He’s a newborn phoenix,” said Fluttershy. “Spike rescued the egg from those other mean old dragons. Or at least, that’s what he told me anyway, since I wasn’t there. I’m very afraid of dragons, you see. Well, other than Spike, that is. Where was I? Oh, right, yes. Spike recently went on a journey to meet with others of his kind. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity followed him to make sure he didn’t get into trouble, and… well… I really do hate to talk ill of other creatures behind their backs, but from what I’ve been told, the other young dragons were big jerks. Did you know that they smash phoenix eggs for fun? It’s horrible! Most of the eggs hatched before the dragons could smash them and they managed to escape with their parents, except for the egg that Spike found. Despite all the peer pressure, he refused to smash it, and I’m so proud of him for that!

“After Twilight teleported them all back to Ponyville, the egg later hatched in the library, and that’s where Peewee came from. Ooh, I can’t wait for him to meet Philomeena. That’s Princess Celestia’s own pet phoenix. They paid a visit to Ponyville a while back, and I… er… well, I thought she was really sick, but the Princess said she was just molting. I’ve never seen a bird molt quite like that before. It was really surprising.”

Troi listen to this story with astonishment. “So… even phoenixes exist here…”

“Oh, do you have them where you come from as well?” asked Fluttershy.

“Only in legends, similar to unicorns, pegasi, and dragons,” said Troi. “This place really is incredible. I apologize. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

Fluttershy shook her head and said, “Oh, it’s no problem. Let’s see… next is Rarity’s cat, named Opalescence, or just Opal for short. I don’t understand why, but most other ponies don’t seem to like her very much. She’s always been a little sweetie for me when Rarity drops her off for her grooming appointment, though.”

“I bet you would get along well with Spot, too,” said Troi, with a nod.

“Oh, I’d love to meet her,” said Fluttershy. “Okay, so there’s also Winona, Applejack’s dog. She helps out with herding the cows and sheep. Honestly, though, I think Applejack should just try asking them nicely to go where they need to go, rather than trying to herd them like that, even if she is very good at it.”

Troi raised an eyebrow. “Wait, so are you saying that the cows and sheep are able to talk as well?”

“Oh yes, of course,” said Fluttershy, nodding. “Daisy Jo came by to trade some milk for a few of my chicken eggs just the other day. They’re all perfectly reasonable creatures, and I don’t think Applejack really needs to corral them the way she does. But I suppose that sometimes they do get spooked and instincts just take over, so I guess it’s occasionally necessary. Even ponies can be the same way, sometimes. The western edge of Sweet Apple Acres is fairly close to the Everfree Forest, after all, so sometimes strange things can happen out that way.”

Troi’s eyes widened a bit and she said, “Oh that reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask about that forest. I assume this is the Everfree Forest you mentioned?” She swept her hand westward, indicating the dark forest looming nearby. “Before we came down from our ship, Q warned us against going in there. He claimed that it was dangerous, and based on what I sense coming from there, I’d say I have to agree with him.”

“Oh yes, it can be very dangerous,” said Fluttershy. She gave a small involuntary shudder. “All sorts of scary things live in there, such as timberwolves and dragons and cockatrices. Twilight Sparkle was turned into stone by a cockatrice once. If I hadn’t happened upon her when I went looking for the Cutie Mark Crusaders, there’s no telling how long she would have been in there. I still have nightmares about it sometimes.”

“How awful!” said Troi. “Wait… the Cutie Mark Crusaders are those three little ones, right? What were they doing in the forest?”

“I… was babysitting them one day,” Fluttershy explained. “One of my chickens had gotten loose without me realizing it and had ventured into the forest. The girls snuck out during the night without telling me and went into the forest to try to find her. Luckily, I managed to catch up to them before anything bad happened to them, but that’s when we found Twilight turned into stone. The cockatrice attacked us, but I… convinced it to turn Twilight back to normal.”

Troi’s eyebrows shot up. “You convinced it…?”

Fluttershy blushed. “I have a… special gift with animals. Well… most of the time, anyway.” The yellow pegasus looked somewhat abashed when she said that last. In an attempt to change the subject, she said, “It’s not all bad in the Everfree Forest, though. I can see why somepony might be scared of the manticore at first, but he’s really just a great big kitten. And Steven lives there as well.”

“Steven?” asked Troi.

“He’s a sea serpent who lives in one of the rivers that cuts through the forest,” said Fluttershy. “Shortly after Twilight Sparkle moved to Ponyville, we had… a special errand that took us inside the forest, and he helped us across the river. He’s good friends with Rarity as they share the same fashion sense. And, most importantly, Zecora keeps her hut in the forest as well. She’s a zebra sage that moved here from far away. She occasionally comes into Ponyville for supplies, and sometimes ponies go to visit her for advice. That’s where Twilight was going when the cockatrice caught her, in fact. I like to think that if I hadn’t found her myself, Zecora would have found her soon enough. And even if she couldn’t have made the cockatrice turn Twilight back to normal, Zecora is very good with potions, so I’m sure she could have made an antidote.”

“This planet gets more interesting by the minute,” Troi mused. “Oh, but I’ve distracted you again. You were telling me about the pets that your friends have. Well, I suppose that leaves Pinkie Pie. What sort of pet does she have?”

“Pinkie’s pet is named Gummy. He’s a baby alligator,” said Fluttershy. “We just held his second year birthday party a few weeks ago, along with Pinkie Pie’s the next day. He’s very sweet, but he does have a bad habit of biting things… and sometimes ponies. I suppose it’s all right, though, since he doesn’t have any teeth.”

Troi’s eyes widened. “Well, what about when he gets older? Won’t his teeth grow in as he gets bigger?”

Fluttershy blinked. “I hadn’t considered that. I… I suppose I’d better have a talk with Pinkie Pie about it.”

Troi was about to mention that alligators on Earth are born with their teeth, but before she could speak, there was a sudden, earsplitting scream from off in the distance.

“Oh no, that sounded like it came from Sweet Apple Acres!” said Fluttershy. “It sounds like somepony is hurt!” She and Troi started making their way in the direction of the farm as quickly as they could.

Around the same time that Troi was beaming down to Fluttershy’s cottage, Worf and Rainbow Dash were already arriving at the empty field Applejack had agreed to let them use for their sparring. Rainbow Dash was wearing a white karate gi, with a black belt tied around her midsection, underneath her wings, and a white headband. Similarly, Worf was wearing his white mok’bara outfit.

Scootaloo blearily walked along behind them, still trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes. Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh were in an adjacent field planting some crops, and had been for at least a couple of hours by this point, but when they saw the three new arrivals, they decided to take a break.

“Heya, Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom. “Yer up awful early, ain’tcha?”

Scootaloo yawned and said, “Ugh, I don’t see how you can stand it.”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “I’ve been doin’ it all my life, so it’s pretty normal for me, I guess.”

While the two fillies went off a short way by themselves to chat, Applejack spoke to Rainbow Dash. “So is this’un good enough? I picked one that didn’t have anything growin’ in it, but hadn’t been plowed yet either, so it should be nice and flat for ya.”

“It’s perfect. Wouldn’t you say, Mr. Worf?” said Rainbow.

“Yes, this will be more than acceptable,” said Worf, nodding. “Thank you.”

“So what’re you guys gonna be doin’ here anyway?” asked Big Macintosh.

“Just a little friendly sparring,” said Rainbow, with a grin.

The large red pony looked back and forth between Rainbow Dash and Applejack, and then turned fully to Rainbow Dash. “You ain’t gonna let things get too heated like it did with my sis here durin’ the Iron Pony competition, are ya?”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack shared a nervous laugh. “Of c-course not,” said the blue pegasus.

“Well, ya’ll don’t mind if we watch, do ya?” asked the orange earth pony.

“I don’t mind if Rainbow Dash doesn’t,” said Worf.

“Sure,” said Rainbow, with a shrug. “Heck, after this, you might even get it in your head to take me up on my offer to train you, AJ.”

“We’ll see about that,” said Applejack dubiously.

“So,” said Rainbow as she turned to face the Klingon, “ready to start?”

“Yes, but we should do some warm up exercises before we begin,” said Worf. He moved a short distance away from the ponies and began doing a mok’bara routine.

Rainbow Dash watched for a bit, and then said, “That kind of looks like tai chi.”

“It is similar,” said Worf, “but this is a Klingon technique called mok’bara. You surprise me again, though. Tai chi, like karate, is an ancient art from Earth.”

“Yeah, like I said, I don’t get it either,” said Rainbow, shrugging. “We ponies have known about tai chi for centuries.” She watched Worf for a bit more and then started her own routine. She rose up on her hind legs and began a kata. Worf was impressed that, when standing up on two legs, Rainbow Dash was almost as tall as he was. Her routine involved a lot more quick movements than his slower paced mok’bara routine did. He was most intrigued when she threw in some jumping kicks toward the end. Being on the receiving end of one of those would not be pleasant for an opponent.

“Wow, Rainbow Dash,” said Scootaloo, as she and Apple Bloom rejoined Applejack and Big Mac to watch the upcoming match. “That looks pretty cool!”

“Wanna learn, pipsqueak?” said Dash, just after pulling off an aerial roundhouse kick and then returning to a ready pose. “I’m more than willing to teach you.”

“That’d be awesome!” said the orange filly excitedly, finally fully awake.

“How’d ya learn to walk around on yer two hind legs so easily like that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Years and years of practice,” Rainbow replied. “And it’s not nearly as easy as it looks, trust me.”

“Ya know, I might even be willin’ to give it a try again,” said Apple Bloom, which brought an even bigger smile to Dash’s face.

“Well, for starters, just watch our sparring match here,” said Rainbow. “It’ll likely involve more high-level stuff than what a novice would learn at first, but it should give you a taste of what’s to come, at least.” She threw a few shadow punches and some more high kicks to show off for the fillies, and then turned to face the Klingon.

“I am ready to begin now, if you are,” said Worf.

“All right,” said Rainbow. “I’ve been looking forward to this all morning.”

Worf and Rainbow Dash faced one another and bowed, and then they both struck ready combat poses. As they circled one another, a feeling out process began. Dash threw a few quick jabs with her forelegs and some low kicks with her hind legs, all of which Worf easily blocked. Worf attacked a few times as well, which Dash blocked just as easily. And then Rainbow Dash decided to turn it up a notch or five.

Worf suddenly found himself entirely on the defensive. Incredibly, Rainbow wasn’t attacking him with just her legs, but was incorporating her wings and even her tail as well. Worf realized that he was facing not a four-limbed opponent but what was essentially a seven-limbed one. He was finding himself hard pressed to block everything she threw at him and was being driven back. So, he decided to change tactics. Instead of blocking, he focused mainly on dodging, and waiting for his moment to strike back.

Rainbow Dash, for her part, suddenly found that Worf simply wasn’t where she thought he would be when she struck. It was amazing how quick he was, especially for someone of his size, and especially given that he was facing her, of all ponies. She started trying to misdirect him. She attempted a jumping kick, and then used her wings to quickly change direction in mid air. This worked a few times at first, landing her some blows since Worf was unused to fighting opponents that could fly, but after a short time, even these tricks began to lose their effectiveness. And then, suddenly, Dash found that Worf had gripped both of her forelegs. He rolled onto his back, planted his feet in her midsection, and tossed her. She pirouetted in mid air and landed on all four hooves a few yards away from the Klingon, who had already flipped back up onto his feet as well.

“Very nice,” they both said simultaneously and shared a grin. Dash charged at Worf, rose up again, and unleashed another flurry of blows, even faster than before. Worf blocked and dodged most of the attacks, but she got him with a particularly stiff one in the side of his torso, which caused him to grunt but didn’t slow him down at all. She hadn’t meant to hit him quite that hard, but she’d been caught up in the moment. With the minor distraction that these thoughts caused her, Worf swept her hind legs out from under her. She flapped her wings furiously and managed to remain upright, but she was still horribly off balance, even so. She launched a few wild blows in an attempt to drive the Klingon back, but before she could completely regain her equilibrium again, Worf performed some sort of crazy leaping uppercut that caught her directly under the chin and sent her head over heels backwards. She landed hard on her side, and then slowly climbed to her feet. She spat to the side and saw flecks of blood hit the hard-packed ground. The taste of copper filled her mouth.

“Sorry,” Worf said. “Got a bit carried away there.”

“No problem,” said Dash, with a fierce grin. ‘Let’s see how he handles this,’ she thought to herself and then took to the air. She rose to about twenty or so yards off the ground, angled herself backward in a flip toward the ground and then went into a mad dive. Just before she reached the ground again, she abruptly changed direction and angled directly at Worf, front legs extended and a small force cone visibly building around her. The entire process of this had taken Dash less than five seconds at the most. Worf stood directly in her path with his arms in a defensive stance, but at the very last possible moment, he simply sidestepped completely out of the way, although the mere wake of her passing still knocked him off balance. As she shot past him, she looked back in shock that he was able to avoid the attack. She thought she’d been moving far too quickly for him to react.

“Dash, look out!” shouted Applejack, but it was too late. Dash looked forward and had only enough time to let out a short squeak before she crashed headlong into a small open-air shed, underneath which was an array of farm implements.

Worf winced at the loud cracking sound that was heard amidst the rattle of farm equipment. It was a sound he was very familiar with, and he knew immediately what the most likely cause of it was. This was confirmed when the air was split with Rainbow Dash’s sudden shriek of pain. She stumbled out of the fallen pile of farm tools, walking shakily on all fours once more. One of her wings was bent downward at a sickeningly awkward angle and they all knew instantly that it was clearly broken.

“Rainbow, are ya all right?!” yelled Applejack. “Your wing…!”

Rainbow Dash almost cut loose with a long string of curses in response, but the sight of Scootaloo and Apple Bloom watching her with wide, fearful eyes forced her to bite down on her tongue to keep them unvoiced. She hobbled over to Worf, taking care not to move her wing if she could avoid it. “Looks like the match is over,” she said regretfully, her voice strained. She very gingerly tried her wing. “Owowowow! Okay, not smart, Dash. Ugh, sorry our match had to end like this, Mr. Worf. Entirely my fault. I never should have tried that last move against someone as skilled as you.”

“Things did indeed get a bit more heated than I had intended,” said Worf. “But it was a glorious battle. You fought with much honor.” He walked over to the small satchel that he’d brought with him and started fishing around inside of it.

“Well, it’s too bad we won’t get to spar again any time soon,” said Dash, looking ruefully at her broken wing and then inhaling sharply through clenched teeth as another bolt of fiery pain lanced through it, just from the motion of turning her head. She sucked more breath through her teeth and added, “I’ll be laid up in the hospital for several days with this, at least.”

“Perhaps not,” said Worf. He pulled his combadge out of the satchel. Tapping it, he said, “Worf to Sick Bay.”

A female voice came from the device. “Crusher here. What can I do for you, Lieutenant?”

“Rainbow Dash and I have just completed our sparring exercise,” said Worf.

The doctor interrupted. “Broken bones, lacerations, or concussions, this time, or some combination of all three?”

“Broken bones, in this case,” said Worf. “And a few minor cuts.”

“I’ll be right down,” said Crusher.

A short time later, transporter beams appeared near the group. They faded away, leaving behind a red-haired human female, wearing a blue Starfleet uniform over which she wore a long blue coat.

“I assume you’re my patient?” asked the doctor, looking at Rainbow Dash. “I’m Dr. Beverly Crusher, by the way, Chief Medical Officer on the Enterprise.”

“I’m Rainbow Dash, and this is Applejack, Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo,” said the blue pegasus. The other ponies nodded in turn. “And, yeah, I took a pretty bad spill as you can see.”

Crusher had already pulled out her medical tricorder and was scanning the blue pony with it. After a few seconds, she nodded. “It looks like a pretty clean break. In addition to that, you have a cut on your lip along with a few minor bruises in various other places on your body. The main concern here is the broken bone in your wing, of course, but don’t worry, it’ll be as good as new in no time.”

“What? Really?” asked Dash. “How is that possible?”

“Here, I’ll show you,” said Crusher. She opened her medkit and took out a device. “Hold still for a bit. I need to realign the bone in your wing before I can set it and heal it. This is going to hurt at first, but only for a few seconds at most. I’ll try to be as gentle as I can, but prepare yourself.”

Dash watched apprehensively as the doctor reached out a hand and gently took hold of the awkwardly hanging wing. To Dash’s credit, the cry of pain as Crusher moved the wing back up into its normal alignment only came out as a hissed whimper as the pegasus clenched both her teeth and her tear-filled eyes tightly shut.

While trying not to jostle the injured wing any more than she had to, Crusher took the device she held in her other hand, pointed it at the break, and activated it. A translucent energy field appeared around the wing.

Dash winced at the new sensation, expecting it to hurt even more. Instead, however, her wing suddenly felt numb. “What did you do?” she asked, opening her eyes.

“I’m using the bone regenerator to repair your wing,” said Crusher. “It realigns the bones and then re-knits them. The process should be complete in a few seconds.” Sure enough, after a moment, Crusher switched off the device. “How do you feel?”

Rainbow Dash moved her wing experimentally and then looked at the doctor with wide eyes. ‘That’s… amazing,” she said. “It still stings a bit, but other than that, my wing feels as good as new!”

“Even so, you should take it easy for a little while,” said Crusher. She pulled out a dermal generator to seal the cut on Dash’s lip, then turned to Worf and began to scan him with the tricorder.

“Doctor, please,” said Worf. “I am fine.”

“You most certainly are not,” said Crusher firmly. “You have three cracked ribs.”

“Whoops,” said Rainbow Dash, grinning sheepishly. “I was afraid that I’d hit you a bit too hard back there. Sorry about that.”

“Is everypony all right?!” came a voice from the distance. They all turned to see Fluttershy and Counselor Troi quickly crossing the field from the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage. “We heard a scream and came here as fast as we could!”

When the yellow pegasus and the Betazoid counselor reached them, Crusher said, “Just a few broken bones. Worf and Rainbow Dash here were sparring.”

“Ah,” said Troi knowingly. “Say no more.”

The ponies all shared a glance with each other at that. “Is this a regular thing with you or somethin’?” asked Applejack to Worf.

“He’s one of my best customers,” said Crusher with a smirk, before Worf could reply. “I’d probably be out of a job if it weren’t for him.”

“Hardly, doctor,” said Worf gruffly.

“Are you all right, Rainbow Dash?” asked Fluttershy with much concern.

“Never felt better,” said Rainbow, flexing both of her wings as wide as they would go. “My wing was actually broken just a few minutes ago, but now it’s like it never even happened. Dr. Crusher is awesome!”

“Heh, thanks,” said Crusher. “If only all of my patients were as appreciative as you. Mr. Worf, hold still!” She finally finished re-knitting his ribs and then healed a few minor cuts that he’d sustained during the fight.

“Ya know,” said Applejack, “for a minute there, Dash, I was almost afraid you were about to hit ‘im with a sonic rainboom.”

Rainbow Dash was appalled at this. She looked at Applejack, her eyes wide with shock, and said, “Applejack! We were only sparring! I didn’t want to completely atomize him, you know. Besides, a sonic rainboom would’ve been really messy for you guys as well, as close as you were.”

Worf, Crusher, and Troi exchanged glances at this. “What is a sonic rainboom?” asked the Klingon.

“Only the most awesome, amazing move ever!” said Scootaloo excitedly.

“A sonic rainboom,” said Fluttershy, who was also surprisingly excited by the discussion, “is when a pegasus flies really fast and then there’s this big explosion of energy and rainbow-colored light. It’s quite a sight to see. Rainbow Dash is the only pony to ever pull one off, but she’s done it at least three times now.”

“Four,” said Applejack. “It does a bang up job of tearin’ down old barns too.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh with a nod.

“Aw, you guys are embarrassing me,” said Dash, though she was grinning in a way that indicated that she wasn’t embarrassed at all, but was instead basking in all the attention she was getting.

“I’d be most interested in seeing one of these sonic rainbooms,” said Worf.

“Hey, I could do one right now if you want!” said Rainbow.

Dr. Crusher shook her head and said, “Hold it right there. I just repaired your broken wing only a few minutes ago. I’d advise you to give it at least a few hours or so before even normal flight, much less before pulling off any crazy stunts. Also, you guys should probably lay off the sparring for at least the rest of the day as well.”

“Aw,” said Rainbow, disappointed.

Before she or Worf could protest any further, however, another new voice came from the distance. “Hey! There you all are!”

Everyone turned in the direction the voice had come from. Approaching them from the general direction of Ponyville was Pinkie Pie, who had spoken, along with Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and Commander Riker.

Riker noticed Crusher and said, “Good morning, Dr. Crusher. By your presence here I have to assume that Worf and Rainbow Dash have finished their sparring match.”

“That’s right,” said the doctor, “but they’re all back in top shape now, assuming they don’t go overboard for the next few hours, anyway.”

Riker looked at all of the gathered ponies and said, “As I’ve already said to these guys, I’ve spoken with the Captain, and he would be delighted to have you aboard the Enterprise. All of you are invited.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo grinned and ran over to talk to Sweetie Belle. Applejack and Big Macintosh shared a glance, and then Big Mac said, “I thank ya kindly, but I reckon I’d better stay here on the farm. These crops need plantin’, and, more importantly, Granny Smith is a bit under the weather today as well, so I need to look after her. Applejack, Apple Bloom, you keep yer eyes open up there, because I’m gonna want to hear all about it when ya get back.”

“Will do, Big Mac,” said Applejack, though she was sad that her brother was missing out once again.

Riker shrugged and said, “Well, this won’t be the one and only tour of the ship that we’re offering. If you’d like to visit later, you’re more than welcome.”

Dr. Crusher said, “And you say that your grandmother is feeling ill? Maybe there’s something I can do to help.”

Big Mac thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Well, I have to admit, after seein’ what ya just did with Rainbow Dash’s wing there I reckon maybe ya might just be able to do somethin’. Besides, Granny was a bit disappointed that she couldn’t make it to the party to meet ya’ll yesterday, so this’d be a great surprise for her.”

Crusher smiled and said, “Lead the way.”

Big Mac smiled in return and nodded his head toward the distant farmhouse.

As Dr. Crusher and Big Macintosh moved away, Riker turned to the others and said, “Well, right now is as good a time as any, if you’re all ready, that is.”

“Yeah, I think we’re finished here, at least for now,” said Rainbow Dash, glancing up at Worf, who nodded in return.

“My animals have all been fed,” said Fluttershy, “and Angel can take care of them for a little while.”

“I hate to leave my brother behind like this,” said Applejack, “but if that doctor of yours can heal Granny Smith of her head cold, I think we can spare a few hours.”

“Your grandmother is in very good hands,” said Troi confidently.

“So we’re all set then?” said Riker. “Well, first let me explain how the transporter beams work. At most, you’ll just feel a tingling sensation, but the biggest thing is the jolt of suddenly finding yourself in a new location. That’s usually the main issue with first time users. Then again, for those of you with teleportation abilities, it’s probably old hat.” He smiled at Twilight as he said this, and she grinned in return, blushing slightly as well.

“It’s not going to leave us singed, is it?” asked Spike.

“Of course not,” said Riker, raising an eyebrow.

Spike glanced up at Twilight and said, “Well, I guess it has that going for it over unicorn teleportation.”

“That only happened once,” said Twilight, slight indignation in her voice. She swatted at Spike with her tail, but he ducked out of the way, a grin on his face. Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to the others.

“Most of us have been teleported by Twilight at some point or another,” said Rarity. “There was no singeing involved, I should add. As such, it shouldn’t be much of a problem. For those of us who haven’t been teleported, just think of this as another adventure.” She smiled down at the three younger ponies as she said this, trying to alleviate some of their obvious nervousness.

“It’s really not an unpleasant experience at all,” said Troi reassuringly.

“W-we’ll be okay,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah,” said Scootaloo. She shared a glance with Apple Bloom, who nodded.

Riker nodded. “All right, gather around and we’ll beam up.” He did a quick mental count of how many were about to beam up and said, “Riker to Cargo Bay 2. Thirteen to transport up. Energize.” They soon rematerialized in Cargo Bay 2 and were greeted by Captain Picard… and Q.

“You know, Jean-Luc,” said Q, “I could have saved you the trouble of having the cargo bay transporters reconfigured by just teleporting them all up here myself.”

“So… this is what you look like as a human?” asked Pinkie Pie, staring at Q appraisingly. “The resemblance to your pony form is uncanny.”

“What can I say? I am an artiste,” said Q. At Picard’s glower, Q grinned and said, “Oh, sorry, Jean-Luc, am I interrupting something? Do carry on.”

Picard sighed and turned to face the visiting ponies. Doing his level best to simply ignore Q, he smiled and said, “I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard. It is my great pleasure to welcome you aboard the Enterprise.”

Tour

Chapter 6 - Tour

“Come,” Data said, as the door chime to his quarters sounded. He didn’t look up from what he was doing. As he worked, he listened to the doors open, footsteps cross the threshold, and then the door swish shut again. “Hello, Geordi, what can I do for you?”

“Hi, Data,” said Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge. “I’d heard that you requested time from Captain Picard for a special project, so I thought I’d swing by and see what you’re up to.”

Data paused in his work and said, “I am glad that you are here. Tell me, what is your opinion of these?” He held up what it was he had been working on so that Geordi could inspect them.

La Forge looked closely at the items for a moment, and then took them from the android for closer examination. “Data, are these hands? Furry green hands?”

“Yes,” said Data. “While I was on the surface, I was approached by a pony named Lyra Heartstrings, and she had… a most unusual request. After she learned that I was a constructed being, she asked if I could make her a pair of prosthetic hands similar to my own. After some consideration, I decided that there would be no harm in agreeing to such a request.”

Geordi continued examining the hands. “I don’t get it. Why would this pony want hands, of all things?”

“I am not sure I fully understand the reasoning behind it either,” said Data. “She claims to be a fan of humans, due to the legends surrounding them in pony culture. Particularly, as you can see, she is fascinated with hands.”

“Wait… these aren’t just models, are they?” asked La Forge. “I’m picking up circuitry inside them. That and they’re made of biosynthetic material.”

“You are correct,” said Data. “When they are complete, they will be fully functional hands. They are designed to be attached to the ends of this pony’s hooves and will be powered by her… unicorn magic. I am not entirely familiar with the process, but I have observed some other examples of pony technology that performs similar functions, so I believe that I have successfully emulated the mechanism here.”

“Unicorn magic,” said Geordi, raising an eyebrow behind his VISOR. “So it’s true then? Magic really does exist on this world?”

“It is indeed a form of externally manipulatable energy that is biologically generated within a pony’s body. All of the ponies possess this power to some extent, although unicorns possess the most direct and obvious manifestations of it,” said Data. “And not all unicorns are able to wield it to the same degree. Twilight Sparkle, for instance, seems to be considered by most as a prodigy when it comes to magic. Rarity, on the other hand, seems to possess little more than the basic telekinesis shared by all unicorns, though she does claim to have a special ability to find gemstones in the ground that others lack. What is most impressive, however, is the apparent strength of the powers wielded by the rulers of Equestria.”

“How so?” asked La Forge. He turned the green hands over in his own a couple more times, and then set them back on Data’s workbench.

“We were told by Twilight and her friends that their rulers, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, have the ability to raise and lower the sun and moon, respectively,” said Data. He picked up one of the hands and began working on it again.

La Forge whistled. “That’s a pretty bold claim. Do you think it’s true?”

Data shook his head. “I cannot be certain. While on the planet surface, after learning about this power that the ponies have, I began investigating it, and I encountered something interesting. After returning to the ship, I performed another scan of the planet and the space around it, which confirmed my initial findings. There is a subtle energy field, similar to that used by the ponies, which surrounds the entire planet. Or rather, there are two such fields. I have found that an energy signature of a pony is unique to that pony. Similarly, the fields that surround the planet indicate the same sort of thing, but on a much grander scale, and it is clear that there are two separate fields at work. Both of them extend outward from the planet at least as far as the moon, and one of them extends much farther than that, likely reaching as far as the star itself. The origin point of these two energy fields is centered on the city of Canterlot, which is where the rulers of Equestria reside, so it is reasonable to assume that they are indeed the source of the energy fields. While I do not believe that they directly control the rising and setting of the sun and moon, I do believe that they have the ability to manipulate the rotation of the planet, such that it would give the appearance of them doing so. That said, however, the energy fields do extend all the way out to the moon and sun, so it is possible that these creatures do indeed have the ability to directly exert their powers upon them as well.”

“That’s pretty amazing, Data,” said Geordi. “Do you think there’s any potential danger to the ship, given that we’re inside of those fields?”

“I have insufficient data to answer that question at the moment,” said the android. He made a few slight modifications to the hand that he was working on and set it down on the table. “I have completed the bulk of the work on this project. All that remains is to present them to Lyra when we return to the surface again, and perhaps make a few slight modifications on site. As such, I have free time until the next duty shift.”

“Well, I’m about to head down to engineering,” said La Forge. “I’m sure the tour will be coming by there at some point, and I want to be there when they get their first look at the warp engines. Care to join me?”

In the interests of efficiency, Picard had decided to split the tour up into three separate groups, given the relatively large number of ponies (and one dragon) involved. And, since they were already present at the time and also were already familiar with the ponies, he chose Riker, Worf, and Troi to lead each group.

Riker’s group consisted of Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, and Apple Bloom. They were currently on the bridge, with Twilight sitting at one of the stations that had been temporarily reconfigured as a general access library computer terminal. The others were gathered around while Riker finished giving a few instructions on how to use it.

“So… this is a ‘computer,’ huh?” said Twilight. “You know, when you were talking about your library computer at the party, I guess I sort of selectively misheard the ‘computer’ part. To be honest, I was expecting books. Lots and lots of books.”

“Heh, that’s our Twilight for you,” said Spike.

“You’re not disappointed are you?” asked Riker.

“No,” said Twilight. She then blushed and said, “…well, okay, maybe a little bit. I mean, this is great and all, but it all seems so… impersonal, somehow. You can’t really curl up with one of these terminals at your leisure, you know.” She glanced at the others and added, “Besides, I’m sure this must be really boring for you guys, just watching me try to work this thing.”

“Not at all, sugar cube,” said Applejack.

“Actually, it’s pretty amusing watching-” Spike began, but yelped when Applejack not so subtly kicked him in the leg.

Apple Bloom was staring at the screen. “I can’t say I understand even a little bit of the stuff you’ve been lookin’ up on that thing, though.”

Twilight said, “That’s just it… there’s so much here, I don’t even know where to begin.” She touched the terminal and flinched back when it spat out a quick low-pitched buzzing sound, indicating an incorrect input. She ignored Spike’s guffaw and looked down at the offending hoof. “And there’s the sad fact that these touch pads just aren’t made for pony hooves.”

Riker stroked his beard for a bit. “Hmm, I have an idea. Come with me.” They followed him into the turbolift and, to the computer, he said, “Holodeck Six.”

“Ah, these must be our friends from the planet below!” said Mr. Mot, as Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, and Counselor Troi entered the ship’s salon. “What brings you to visit with me this fine day?”

“And you must be the master craftsman I’ve heard about,” said Rarity. She swept her gaze around the room before focusing in on the blue-skinned Bolian hairdresser. “Your reputation precedes you, Mr. Mot.”

“All good, I hope?” said Mot with a smile.

“The best,” said Rarity, flashing a smile of her own. She and Mot started chatting about various generally fashion and grooming related subjects, with Sweetie Belle intently listening in. Troi and Fluttershy moved away a bit to talk amongst themselves.

“So, what do you think so far?” asked Troi.

“It’s amazing,” said Fluttershy. “Overwhelming even.”

“But…?” prompted Troi, sensing that there was something Fluttershy was leaving unsaid. When the yellow pegasus blushed bright pink, Troi knew she’d been right.

“Well…” said Fluttershy hesitantly. “Please don’t take this the wrong way because I really don’t want to offend anypony, but… it’s just… there are no plants or animals around, at least that I’ve seen so far. Everything is so… gray.”

Troi smiled. “I suppose that just means that our next stop on the tour should be the arboretum.”

Fluttershy returned the smile and was about to respond when she was startled by Mr. Mot suddenly speaking from directly behind her.

“And how about you, young lady?” asked Mot. “Your friend here tells me that you and she often meet for treatments at the spa down on your planet. Would you care to join her and her sister in seeing how we do things in the Federation?”

Troi and Fluttershy looked past Mot and were surprised to see that in the very short time they’d been chatting, Mot had already managed to get both Rarity and Sweetie Belle into salon chairs, their manes done up in towels, mud on their faces, and cucumber slices over their eyes.

“Oh, do join us, Fluttershy,” said Rarity. “This mud is simply divine. Where did you say it was from again, Mr. Mot?”

“Imported from the Parallax colony,” said the Bolian. “We do have a holodeck simulation of the colony on file which includes their famous mud baths, but the sensation of the mud in a holodeck simply cannot quite compare to the real thing, in my opinion.”

Fluttershy looked uncertainly between Rarity, Mot, and Troi.

Troi smiled again and said, “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, Fluttershy. The arboretum will still be there when we’re done here.” She watched Rarity and Sweetie Belle for a bit and then added, “In fact, I do believe I’ll join you.”

“And this,” said Geordi La Forge, gesturing theatrically, “is the heart of the ship: the warp drive.”

Worf’s group, which consisted of Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Pinkie Pie, looked in awe at the pulsing blue engines. Rainbow hopped up on her hind legs and rested her forelegs on the railing surrounding the engines in order to get a slightly closer view. “So, just how fast can this ship go, anyway?” she asked.

“Are you familiar with the concept of light speed?” asked Data, who had indeed tagged along with Geordi, after putting aside his own personal project.

“I… might have heard Twilight mention something about that, during one of her lectures on star charting,” said Dash, not even turning her head as she gazed into the dilithium crystal chamber. “Not sure I completely understood all of that stuff though.”

“The speed of light,” explained Data, “is the metric by which warp speed is measured. Until Zefram Cochrane proved otherwise with his prototype warp drive, light was considered to be the fastest thing in the universe. As a point of reference, light travels at a velocity of 186,282.397 miles per second.”

This got Rainbow’s attention. She dropped down from the rail and turned around. “Are you saying this ship can go that fast?” she said incredulously.

“Much faster,” said Geordi. “Light speed is merely warp factor 1. Our maximum safe speed is warp 9.6, though we can go faster than that in a pinch, but not for long.”

“And that means…?” asked Scootaloo.

Data said, “Warp speed increases exponentially. Warp 2, for example, is 10.08 times faster than the speed of light. Similarly, warp 9 is 1,516.38 times greater than light speed. At warp 9, the Enterprise is moving through space at approximately 282,474,901.163 miles per second.”

The jaws of both Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo dropped open.

“Wow, Dashie,” said Pinkie Pie, “that’s even faster than you can go when you’re doing a sonic rainboom.”

Dash turned her head toward the pink pony. “Pinkie, it’s not in the same ballpark. Heck, it’s not even in the same galaxy. The fastest I’ve ever reached, with the help of a sonic rainboom, is around mach 10 or so. That’s only a little over 2 miles per second.”

It was La Forge’s turn to gape in shock. “This is under your own power?” he asked in amazement. “Just you and your wings?”

“That’s right,” said Dash, with more than a hint of pride in her voice. “Well, a bit of pegasus magic is involved as well, of course, but it’s still pretty much just me.”

“That’s incredible,” said Geordi, marveling at the blue pony.

“Looks like we’re all full of surprises today,” said Pinkie cheerfully. “That’s great, because I love surprises!”

“I’d sure say so,” said Geordi. “Well, anyway, that wraps up the tour of engineering. So, Worf, where are you taking these guys next?”

Worf, who had remained silent and somewhat lost in thought during the explanation of the warp engines, looked at his tour group and said, “I think the only thing we have left is the holodeck. I know that Commander Riker’s group is currently using Holodeck Six, so we shall go to a different one. I’m interested in showing Rainbow Dash my calisthenics program, among other things. After that, we’re all planning to meet up again in Ten Forward.”

“Sounds good,” said Geordi. “Maybe Data and I will join you in Ten Forward when the tours are complete. Oh, and Worf… go easy on the calisthenics, okay? I heard you’ve already had one visit from Dr. Crusher today.”

Worf grunted noncommittally and led his group on the way out of engineering.

The large doors hissed shut behind Riker as he followed the ponies into the holodeck. The yellow grid lines crisscrossing the room were the only color on the otherwise completely black walls, floor, and ceiling. “This,” he said, “is the holodeck.”

The ponies and dragon looked around at the sparse room, clearly not very impressed. Riker smiled knowingly. Most people weren’t, at first, especially if they’d never heard of a holodeck before or knew what one was capable of.

“So, you wanted a library,” he said, glancing at Twilight, “with lots and lots of books, I believe?” He grinned at her as she nodded, smiled, blushed, and then looked away from him. He turned away to spare her any further embarrassment and raised his voice slightly. “Computer, give me a library. It needs to be large enough to store all of the Enterprise’s publicly available library computer data, but in physical book form.”

The computer chirped a negative sound effect and said, “Such a program is not feasible. To recreate all of the library computer data in such a manner would require more memory space than is allotted for holodeck operations.”

Riker nodded. “Fair enough. Then create a multi-roomed structure that will theoretically hold all of the required data in book form, but don’t actually manifest the rooms or populate any of them with books until the room in question is about to be physically occupied by one of us. Sort and label the rooms by category. For the initial room, make available all data pertaining to the Enterprise itself and its mission log that is accessible by civilians.”

The computer chirped a bit more as it processed the request, then said, “Acknowledged. Program complete.”

“Start us in that first room,” said Riker. “Begin program.” He looked down at the ponies in anticipation as the holodeck began to reconfigure itself. He was rewarded with gasps of shock and, from Twilight Sparkle, utter delight as the bare black walls gave way to what, impressive even to Riker, had to be one of the largest rooms they had ever seen. The room was filled wall to wall with wooden bookshelves, which were in turn filled from floor to ceiling with books, the covers of which came in all shapes, sizes and colors.

“This is astonishing,” said Twilight, looking around the room with wide eyes. “I could spend days… no, make that weeks, in here. Too bad we only have a few hours. But… again, there’s just so much, I don’t even know where to start.”

Riker said, “Computer, create a librarian for us. Human.” A few seconds later, a small, elderly human woman appeared before the group. She seemed to be about seventy or eighty years old. She looked kindly at the group and said, “How can I help you?”

Applejack and Apple Bloom looked at one another in surprise. “Is it just me,” said Applejack, “or is that lady the very spittin’ image of Granny Smith, except as a human? What do ya think, Apple Bloom?”

“Not only that, but she kinda sounds like Granny, too,” said Apple Bloom.

Riker raised an eyebrow. “Interesting. I can assure you that this is entirely coincidence. Hmm, perhaps the computer is randomly reading data from medical scans Dr. Crusher made of your grandmother, for some reason.”

Twilight smiled at the librarian and said, “I’d like to see some books that have a general overview of the Enterprise. What it’s capable of, what its mission is, its history, everything.”

“Right this way,” said the librarian. She led Twilight down one of the many rows of books, with Spike tagging along behind her. Soon, they were lost to the sight of the others within the vast room, though Twilight could still be heard chatting with the librarian as they moved away.

“So, is there anything you’d like to see here?” asked Riker, turning to the other two ponies.

“Can this holowhatzit thing make us a farm?” asked Applejack. “I’d like to see what kind of crops grow on other worlds.”

Riker smiled and said, “Indeed it can. In fact, I can have it do that right here.” He turned his eyes upward again and said, “Computer, create a door on the nearest wall that leads to an outside area. In that area, create a farmland suited to the conditions of growing the most prevalent food crops on various worlds known to the Federation and provide samples of each. Include Earth, Qo'noS, and Betazed, with other worlds chosen at random from the database. Don’t include any specimens that are toxic to humans or equines. Label each section accordingly. Execute.” A door appeared on the near facing wall. Riker moved over to it and opened it. “After you, ladies,” he said, motioning with a flourish and a smile.

Applejack and Apple Bloom walked through the door and were instantly spellbound by what they saw. While there were several plants that were familiar to them, such as apple and cherry trees and corn stalks and grapevines and the like, many of the plants were things that they wouldn’t have imagined in their wildest dreams to exist.

“This is so awesome!” said Apple Bloom. She started bounding up and down the rows, stopping to look briefly at each of the plants. Turning back to Riker, she asked, “Are they safe to eat?”

Riker nodded and said, “Sure. Some of them would require cooking or processing before they’d taste very good, of course, but the fruit should be fine.”

Applejack shook her head in amazement. “Well,” she said, “like Twi and her library there, I think ya just conjured up somethin’ that we could get lost in for a good few hours and not even notice the passage of time at all.”

“Take as much time as you want,” said Riker. “We still have plenty before the get-together scheduled for later this evening. If you need me for anything, I’ll be back in the library. Or you can also ask the computer if you have any questions as well. Wait, actually, I have a better idea. Computer, create a human gardener for us.” The computer chirped for a moment, and then an elderly human male appeared next to Riker, wearing a white shirt, pair of greenish-brown overalls and a straw hat. Riker stared at the man for a second and then broke into a wide grin. “Well, I’ll be damned. The computer must be in a whimsical mood today. It’s Boothby!”

“Who’s Boothby?” asked Applejack, looking the old man up and down while he returned the scrutiny in silence.

“He’s the groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy,” said Riker, “and one of the wisest men I know. Just ask him anything you need. He’ll treat you right.” He nodded respectfully to the Boothby hologram and started back toward the library.

“I know you’ve been asked this already, Q, but I’m going to ask you once more,” said Guinan. “Why did you bring us here? Really?” The Ten Forward hostess was starting intently at the omnipotent entity, who was sitting at the bar next to Picard.

“You honestly expect me to tell you?” said Q, with a snort. “Of all the creatures in this universe, you are probably the last one in which I would confide. Besides, I’ve already explained my reasons to Jean-Luc here. I don’t see why I should trouble myself with explaining them to his bartender.” Q turned to Picard and added, “You know, Jean-Luc, my offer to remove this insidious creature from your ship still stands. You truly can’t begin to fathom the risks you run by keeping her on board.”

Picard met Q’s eyes and narrowed his own. “Q, I will be frank with you. I trust Guinan a hell of a lot more than I trust you. You have been nothing but trouble for us from the first moment you ever stepped foot on this ship. You claim you have no ulterior motives behind your presence here, now, but I don’t believe that for a single second. I want to know what you have planned, and I want to know now!”

Q leaned back in his chair and clasped his fingers together. “And if I told you, would you believe me? I doubt it. You just said yourself that you don’t trust me. Well, I’ll tell you the truth anyway. I am here to help establish relations between the Federation and this world. That is all there is to it, Picard, nothing more, and nothing less. Now that I’ve told you, what are you going to do? You’re already fulfilling my goals admirably. Just keep doing what you’re doing now and I will be most satisfied. It will all work out nicely in the end, I assure you.”

Guinan gritted her teeth in disgust and blew air through thinned lips. “Same as always, aren’t you Q? Q is right about you. You’ve never been a good liar.”

“I am not lying,” said Q, starting to get perturbed, but then, he suddenly became calm again. In a deceptively cheerful, conversational tone, he said, “You know, I could force you to believe me. I could meddle with your minds just as easily as I have with these ponies in order to force them to forget my previous encounters with them. I could have you fawning over me as though I was all of your gods rolled into one. But I choose not to do that. Why? Because I want you to see me for what I really am. I am telling you the truth. What more can I say than that?”

Picard crossed his arms. “But are you telling us the whole truth?”

Q looked back and forth between Picard and Guinan. “There’s just no winning with you people, is there? Fine. Don’t believe me. You’ll see soon enough that I have no hidden agenda here. I merely wish to make a connection between your peoples. Now, as much as I know you’d prefer to keep haranguing me, I suggest you put that aside for now. The ponies are almost here.”

Q was correct. Less than a minute later, the doors to Ten Forward opened and the ponies, along with their humanoid tour guides, started coming through. Along with Worf, Troi, and Riker, Picard saw that Data and La Forge had joined the group as well, along with a few other crewmembers.

As all of the newcomers started to settle in, Picard moved to the center of the room and cleared his throat, then said, “Once again, I would like to welcome all of you to the Enterprise, and more specifically to the Ten Forward lounge. Your hostess for this evening will be Guinan.” He nodded in the El-Aurian’s direction, which she returned. Q was heavily rolling his eyes, but both of them ignored him. Picard turned back to the assemblage and said, “Servers will be around shortly if you’d like anything to eat or drink. Rest assured that we have programmed our replicators to be able to handle food that you are familiar with, at least based upon what was served at yesterday’s party down on the planet. If, however, you’d prefer to try something new, I’m sure my crew would be glad to recommend something, so feel free to order whatever you like. So, for now, just relax and enjoy.” He smiled and returned to his seat at the bar.

One of the servers approached the table Worf was sitting at, along with Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and Pinkie Pie. “Can I get you anything?” asked the server.

“Hey, Worf,” said Rainbow Dash, “what was that drink you told me you liked, again? Some kind of juice, I think it was?”

“Prune juice,” said Worf. He turned to the server and said, “Two glasses of prune juice, if you please.”

“I want to try it too!” said Scootaloo.

“Make it four,” said Pinkie Pie with a decisive nod.

As the server moved away to get their orders, from the next table over, Geordi La Forge chuckled and said, “Oh no, Worf. What have you done?” He was sitting with Data, Ensign Sonya Gomez, and Lieutenant Reginald Barclay.

“What do you mean?” asked Worf, seriously. “What’s so funny?”

Data looked confused, while the others at his table continued chuckling. “I am afraid I must concur with Lt. Worf. I fail to see the humor in this situation.”

Gomez looked at the three ponies with something like pity and said, “Well, let’s just say that prune juice is something of an acquired taste. And there are sometimes… side effects from drinking it, but… well… that’s definitely not something fit to be talked about at the dinner table, so I’ll stop right there.” She turned to the server at her own table and said, “I would like a hot chocolate, please.”

“I still do not understand,” said Data.

“Nor do I,” said Worf. He looked up as the server returned with four glasses of a dark purplish-brown beverage on a tray. He picked up his glass and drained half of it in a single gulp. “It is not a problem of mine if your delicate human metabolisms can’t handle a true warrior’s drink.”

Rainbow Dash sniffed the drink and raised an eyebrow. She picked it up and took a sip of it, her eyes widening as she did so. She nodded and said, “Hmm, not bad at all. It’s a bit strong, and the aftertaste is kind of weird, but it’s pretty good overall. I like it. It’s not as good as the Apples’ cider though. Sorry Worf.”

“Fair enough,” said the Klingon, draining his glass and setting it back on the tray. “The cider is also a fine drink.” He turned to the server, he said, “Bring us a pitcher of prune juice, please.”

Pinkie Pie picked up her glass and chugged down half of it, similar to how Worf had earlier. Her face immediately went a bright shade of green and she swallowed it down with a momentarily visible widening of her throat. She set the glass down and slid it forward on the table and said, “Yeah… no, that’s definitely not for Pinkie. I think I’ll have a cup of hot chocolate as well.”

Scootaloo looked warily back and forth between Pinkie and her own glass of prune juice. Pinkie was a pony known to have eaten cupcakes drenched in hot sauce, after all, and if this was something that even she didn’t like… Scootaloo shook her head and decided to take a sip, regardless. She began to cough and her eyes started to water. She tried another sip and one of her eyes began bugging out and throbbing.

“So, uh, what do you think, Scoots?” asked Dash, mild concern in her voice.

“It’s… really… good,” said the orange pegasus filly. She took another sip and squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to swallow it. Tears formed in the edges of her eyes.

“You know, squirt,” said Dash, looking at her dubiously, “you don’t have to pretend to like it just to try to impress me. I’ll understand, trust me.”

Scootaloo took another sip and this one seemed to go down slightly more easily. “No, really,” she said, between gasps. “It’s not bad at all. It’s just really, really strong, like you said, but I do like it. Say, is this sort of like what that hard cider tastes like?”

“H-how do you know about hard cider?” asked Rainbow, a bit more sharply than she had intended. She turned to face Scootaloo more fully.

“S-some of the older colts were talking about it at school one day,” said Scootaloo, suddenly nervous due to her idol’s reaction to what she’d said. “They said it was much better than the normal stuff or even zap apple cider. They said it made you feel kind of weird, but good.”

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie shared a glance. “Listen to me very carefully, Scootaloo,” said Dash. “I want you to promise me right now that you won’t try to drink that stuff until you’re older. Much, much older. Same goes for your friends over there, too.” She glanced over at the table where Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were sitting, completely oblivious to this conversation. “You be sure to tell them that.”

“Well… all right,” said Scootaloo, not quite understanding what was going on, but willing to do what Dash said. “If you say so.”

“I think we’d better have a chat with Cheerilee when we get back to Ponyville, too,” said Pinkie Pie, in a bit more subdued tone than her usual one. Dash nodded.

Scootaloo looked back and forth between the two older ponies, worry in her eyes. “D-did I… did I do something wrong?” she asked apprehensively.

“No, you didn’t,” said Dash, gently. “But if you hear those colts talking about drinking hard cider again, you tell them that it’s not cool at all, and you can tell them that I was the one who said so. If they don’t believe you, I’ll come and tell them myself.”

After a moment of silence, in which Worf, Geordi and the others watched the ponies, Lt. Barclay coughed and said, “Well, that’s sounds like a potential crisis averted.”

“I’ll say,” muttered Geordi.

“Good on you, Rainbow Dash,” said Gomez, directing a big smile at the blue pony. “It sounds like you’re a good role model for the youngsters on your world.”

“Yep, that’s me,” said Rainbow Dash proudly. “I always try to live my life in a way that others can look up to, especially the young ones.”

“Mare Do Well,” Pinkie Pie said, not so subtly coughing into her hoof as spoke.

Rainbow glared at Pinkie for a bit, then grinned sheepishly. Scratching the back of her head with a front hoof, she said, “Though… sometimes even I can get a bit carried away, all the same. But… nopony’s perfect all the time. Right, Pinkamena Diane?” She looked pointedly at Pinkie Pie as she said the last part.

“Er… right,” said the pink pony, more than a bit embarrassed, but she quickly got over it and reverted back to her normal bubbly self. “So, are we ready to order the food yet? I want to try something new! What can you recommend, Mr. Worf?”

“Oh no,” Geordi groaned, barely above a whisper. Gomez and Barclay shared another chuckle, while Data merely looked on, as confused as before.

Worf ignored the others and said, “I would recommend zilm’kach.”

Geordi watched Worf for a bit. “Okay, what is zilm’kach?” he said warily.

Data said, “Zilm’kach is a Klingon fruit. It is similar to an Earth apricot.”

Worf looked at Geordi and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. “With all due respect, sir, I am very well aware that our visitors’ diets are vegetarian in nature. Did you perhaps expect me to recommend something like racht or heart of targ or rokeg blood pie?” Turning back to the ponies, he said, “I would recommend gladst as well. I’m told that it’s similar to seaweed on Earth. I don’t know if you have a similar dish in Equestria or not, but I enjoy it.”

La Forge smiled and said, “I’m sorry, Worf. I shouldn’t have doubted you. In fact, by way of apology, I believe I’ll try some zilm’kach and gladst myself.”

“I accept your apology,” said Worf, with a nod. “You won’t be disappointed.”

“That’s what I’ll have too, then,” said Gomez.

“Same here,” said Barclay.

“When in Rome,” Data said, to the surprised amusement of his colleagues.

Pinkie Pie nodded and said, “Well, that settles it. Zilm’kach and gladst all around. Wow, that’s pretty hard to say.” The conversation settled down a bit as the food was delivered to them.

Meanwhile, a larger table nearby was being shared by Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Apple Bloom, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, Riker, and Troi. All of them, except for Spike, had various vegetarian concoctions in front of them. Twilight, at the recommendation of Riker, was trying a Caesar salad.

“This is very good,” she said, after swallowing a mouthful of romaine lettuce. “And it’s also something we can easily make back in Ponyville as well. Thanks for recommending it!” She looked up at Riker briefly, then blushed and turned her face back down to her salad.

Troi smiled at Riker, with an eyebrow raised slightly. He gave her a mild look that said “Don’t you dare…” before turning his eyes to his own salad. She glanced at Rarity and noticed that the white unicorn was also looking subtly back and forth between Twilight and Riker, with a speculative look in her eye. The white unicorn’s eyes briefly met Troi’s and they both smiled knowingly to one another.

“Same here with this bean burrito,” said Applejack. She took a big bite out of the black bean and lemon cilantro rice burrito, loaded with guacamole, and looked down at Apple Bloom, who was eating the same thing. “We’re definitely gonna need the recipe for these babies before we head back down.” Apple Bloom nodded enthusiastically, her mouth completely stuffed.

Rarity and Sweetie Belle were sharing a large bowl of mushroom pasta between them, which they seemed to be greatly enjoying. Fluttershy was delicately picking at a salad identical to the ones Twilight and Riker were eating. Troi was eating a bowl of Bolian tomato soup, based on an earlier recommendation by Mr. Mot during their time in the salon. As for Spike, he had a large bowl of mostly diamonds in front of him. The dragon and ponies had all been amazed to learn that gemstones were no longer rare in Federation society, since they could be easily replicated just as almost anything else could be. Even something as valuable and highly sought after in Equestria as diamonds was common place here, which is why Spike had loaded his plate with those, since he rarely got to eat them back home. The dragon was quite pleased with his meal.

Riker found his eyes continually returning to the bar, where Guinan, Picard, and Q were still sitting. More than once, he’d observed Picard or Guinan gesticulating harshly, in response to which Q would just role his eyes or smile in a blasé manner or sometimes both of those things at the same time. Turning to Troi, he said, “I can’t help but wish that I were a fly under the bar there.”

“I’m not sure you would enjoy it,” said Troi. “The Captain is very frustrated. Even Guinan seems unusually tense.”

Riker shook his head. “I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘unusually’ in this case. That is Q they’re talking to, after all. You remember how the two of them have interacted with one another in the past, don’t you?”

Troi turned her eyes away from the bar and back to Riker. “As I recall, during his brief time as a full human, she stabbed him in the hand with a fork.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow at this. “This Q… entity certainly seems to bring out the worst. Is there anything you can tell us about him? Given that he is apparently the reason that we’ve all been brought together like this, it would be nice to know what we’re dealing with here.”

Riker shook his head and sighed. “I wish I could. The truth is that we don’t know very much about him ourselves. Even though I was once briefly given the power of the Q myself, I still can’t rightly describe to you what it was like. He’s essentially omnipotent and can do whatever he wants. That’s the long and short of it. And lately, it seems as though all he wants to do is toy with us.”

“I was reading about him in the library you made for me on the holodeck,” said Twilight. “It was in a book about your first mission as a crew. It said something about how Q put you on trial? What was that all about?”

Riker turned to Troi and said, “Since I wasn’t present at the time, perhaps you can answer this one.”

Troi thought back to that time and shivered. “It was a farce is what it was. He put us on trial for the crimes of all of humanity up to that point, and the court he chose for the trial was a mockery of justice of the worst sort. When Lt. Yar spoke up against him, he… he froze her solid.” She paused to let the gasps from around the table die down. “Fortunately, he returned her to normal shortly afterward, but still… It was only after the Captain petitioned Q to test us so that we could prove to him that we were no longer the savages that he accused us of being that the horrible trial ended and he returned us to the ship.” She glanced over at Q. “I fear that the tests didn’t end with Farpoint Station, however. I believe that he is still testing us, to this day, and the situation here is merely another extension of that, though to what end I can’t begin to guess.”

“One moment, he’s sending pig-like alien soldiers wearing ancient Earth military garb after us, and another moment he has us all in Sherwood Forest, reenacting the old Earth tale of Robin Hood,” said Riker. “Everything we have seen about Q shows that he is an unpredictable, chaotic being.”

Twilight’s brow was furrowed. “I still can’t figure out why, but what you just said, about him being a chaotic being, sounds extremely familiar to me.”

Applejack frowned and said, “Come to think of it, there’s somethin’ tinglin’ at the edges of my memory as well. Somethin’ I feel like I should be rememberin’ but can’t.”

“It is the same with me as well,” said Rarity. “It is as though we, ourselves, have indeed encountered this creature before. Or, at least, one that is very similar in nature to him. I can’t recall anything about it, however. It’s like there’s a hole in my mind where those memories should be.”

“Yes, I feel the same way,” said Fluttershy. “I don’t remember anything in particular, but I can’t help but feel really frightened for some reason when I think about it, like something really bad happened.”

Everyone involuntarily jumped when Q suddenly appeared at the table with them, with his signature burst of light and sound. Riker looked quickly back at Picard and Guinan, both of whom were staring after Q as though he had left mid-conversation, which Riker assumed is exactly what had happened.

“Enjoying this little get-together, everypony?” said the entity cheerfully, clapping his hands together. “I hope you have, because it’s almost time to beam back down to the surface. It is getting rather late, wouldn’t you say?”

“That’s not your call to make, Q,” said Picard, coming up from behind him.

Riker glared at Q. “You knew we were talking about you. Talking about how you have apparently done something to these ponies that you’re currently blocking out of their minds. And despite your admonitions earlier that you wanted us to talk about something of actual substance, this particular topic clearly seems to be one that you don’t want us to be discussing.”

“Psh, you’re speaking nonsense, Riker,” said Q dismissively.

“Oh no, Q,” said Picard. “Not this time. You said yourself last night that you had been to this planet before. And you just admitted to Guinan and me that you are indeed actively blocking their memories of that visit.”

“I believe I also said that the whole thing was none of your damned business, didn’t I?” said Q, in a pleasant tone of voice that nonetheless did little to conceal the underlying hint of menace.

“Q, whatever you have done to these ponies, I want you to undo it, immediately!” Picard thundered.

“Ha! Really, Jean-Luc? You’re actually trying to order me around?” asked Q, genuinely amused. “You act as if you have any sort of authority over me at all.” His voice took on a very mocking tone as he added, “Or power.”

“Maybe I don’t,” admitted Picard, “but you do recall what happened to you the last time you stepped over the line, do you not? The Q Continuum stripped you of your powers and forced you to live among us as a human.”

“And now you’re resorting to vacuous threats. Bah,” said Q. “I thought you above such pettiness, Jean-Luc. Besides, the Continuum has done far worse to me in the past.” His gaze swept across all of the ponies as he said this. “But who is to say I’m stepping over the line here? You? Ha. Here and now, the Continuum has no cause to censure me at all. Therefore, no, I won’t be returning their memories to them just yet. Perhaps in time I will, after my plans have come to fruition and it no longer matters.”

“Ah, so, you do have an agenda that you’re not telling us about?” asked Troi.

“And here we go with the baseless conspiracy theories again,” said Q, throwing his hands up in annoyance. “As I’ve already said more times than I care to count, all of my cards are on the table. When I say that I want nothing more than to establish a connection between this world and Earth, I mean exactly that. And you all are doing a splendid job of helping me to achieve my goal. Keep up the good work!” With a wave of his hand, Q disappeared in another burst of light and sound.

The silence that followed his departure was quite lengthy, broken only when Pinkie Pie loudly called out from the other nearby table, “Well, that was certainly a mood killer, wasn’t it?”

Once again in the cargo bay, Picard and Riker were conferring with Twilight Sparkle while the others were getting themselves situated for the transport down to the planet surface.

“We know that whatever it is that Q wants, it seems to hinge upon us establishing relations with one another,” said Picard. “Do either of you have any suggestions as to why that may be?”

Twilight shook her head. “I really can’t think of any reason why an omnipotent entity would or even could gain anything from this that he didn’t already have or that he couldn’t make happen with his own power.”

“Nor I,” said Riker. “This just doesn’t make any sense at all.”

Picard nodded. “Any suggestions on how we should proceed?”

Riker looked around the room at the other ponies and said, “Well, I hate to suggest this, but we could attempt to deny Q what he wants. Assuming he doesn’t just use his powers to force the issue anyway, of course.”

“What do you mean, Number One?” asked Picard.

“Back when this all began, Q gave us two choices,” said Riker. “He told us that we could either beam down and meet with the citizens of this planet… or we could remain locked in orbit above the world for the rest of our days. Perhaps we could exercise that choice. If we break contact with the planet altogether, it may disrupt whatever Q has planned, even if it means that we’d be stuck here forever.”

Twilight felt like she’d been bucked in the gut, and she looked up at Riker with obvious hurt that he would say such a thing. Picard seemed oblivious, but Riker studiously avoided her gaze. “I don’t think…” she began, then took a deep breath and started again. “I mean, is that really the best course of action? Though my friends and I may feel that whatever he did to us was something awful, even though we can’t recall it now, we can’t be certain that that’s the case, can we? It could be that he wants us to think that way, for some reason. Or it could just be that we’re overreacting simply because we don’t know what he did in the past. Who knows for sure if what he is planning really is something bad? While it’s certainly in your hands as to whether or not you end all contact with us, I… I would prefer that you not choose to exercise that option. Even if it’s playing into his hands, I would think that the good that could come of it still outweighs the bad, don’t you?”

Picard nodded. “She does have a point. As round about as they may have been, Q’s actions have indeed aided us in the past, in some cases. Take our first encounter with the Borg, for instance. While it is certainly regrettable that Q’s actions indirectly cost us the lives of eighteen crew members during that encounter, it ultimately did give us advance warning of the Borg threat. Without that, the losses we incurred when the Borg finally did arrive in Federation space could have been even more catastrophic than they were. So, yes, it is entirely possible that Q may indeed have our best interests in mind here, in his own twisted way. I cannot deny the possibility.”

Riker looked down at Twilight and smiled. “I agree. It was a suggestion that I didn’t relish the thought of acting upon either, for more reasons than one, but we have to get all of our options out in the open. That said, sir, I can’t think of any better suggestion aside from to simply stay the course. We can’t let our apprehensions about what Q may or may not be planning get in the way of how we do business. I think we should continue to act as we have been. Besides, as I said, if Q really does have something planned, I doubt that there is much we could do to stop him from carrying out those plans, even if we did try to thwart him. In other words, I don’t believe we should break contact with our new friends here.”

Twilight flushed with relief at this. At the same time, she chided herself for it. She still didn’t understand what she was feeling or why, but for some reason, the possibility of never again seeing their new friends on the ship, particularly Will Riker, had filled her with something akin to panic. She glanced around at the other ponies and noticed Rarity was looking at her intently. When she made eye contact with the white unicorn, Rarity shifted her eyes to Riker for the briefest of seconds, then back to her and then smiled knowingly. Twilight was utterly confused by this. She smiled uncertainly in return. She turned back to Picard when he started speaking again.

“I agree entirely, Number One,” said the Captain. “We can’t start second guessing ourselves based upon what we think Q might be planning. We need to simply remain as we are and do what we would have done normally… well, within the constraints of ‘normal’ as Q has imposed them upon us, anyway. If and when Q springs whatever trap he has for us, assuming there is one, then we’ll adapt to it then as best we can.” He raised his voice slightly to address all of the ponies, who by now were all standing on the transporter pads, except for Twilight. “Commander Riker will be beaming down with you temporarily, just to make sure the transport goes smoothly and that everyone arrives home safely. If there are any further issues that arise on the surface, let him know.” As Riker and Twilight took their places on the transporter pads, Picard turned to the transporter console and said, “Chief O’Brien, are we ready?”

Miles O’Brien nodded and said, “Indeed we are, sir. Coordinates are set for the open area just in front of the confectionary shop. Ready to energize on your mark.”

Picard turned back to the group. He nodded and said, “Very well. Energize.”

As soon as O’Brien swept his hand up the transporter panel, Q suddenly appeared in the room. Just as the transporter beams began to take effect, he ran forward and leapt into the beams himself.

“Q! What the devil are you doing?!” shouted Picard, but it was too late. Picard turned to O’Brien, and said, “Chief, what’s happening? Has Q’s interference affected the transport at all?”

O’Brien worked the controls swiftly, and said, “Yes it has, sir. The beam down coordinates have been reconfigured. The new destination seems to be somewhere a few dozen miles to the north and east.”

Picard said, “I believe that’s the location of the capital city that Q pointed out to us. Chief, bring them back up.”

“I’m trying, sir,” said O’Brien. “But something is locking out the controls. Transport is complete, sir, and I can’t regain a lock on them. Even Commander Riker’s combadge is being jammed.”

“Dammit, Q,” Picard muttered to himself. “What the hell are you planning?”

“I told you, Jean-Luc,” said Q, who was suddenly standing behind Picard once again. “You’ll just have to wait and see.” Picard turned and glared into his grinning face, wanting for all the world to knock that smug look off of it.

Menace

Chapter 7 - Menace

After the transport ended, Riker took a look around and was surprised to see that they weren’t anywhere that he had ever seen before. “What the…?” he said and tapped his combadge, which responded with a low-pitched chirp that indicated connection failure. “Riker to Enterprise! Enterprise, come in!”

The ponies all looked around in confusion. The room was full of other ponies who were looking at them, just as confused as they were, likely even more so.

“What are we doin’ in Canterlot?” asked Applejack.

“Not just Canterlot,” said Rarity, “but directly in the middle of Princess Celestia’s court!” In fact, looking toward the throne in the distance, they all saw not just Princess Celestia, but also Princess Luna. Apparently, the beam down had occurred just at the moment when Luna and Celestia were to make the change between Day Court and Night Court. Both of the princesses were staring at the newcomers in as much shock at their sudden arrival as the newcomers themselves felt at being there.

Suddenly, from within the group of ponies, there was a burst of activity.

“Hey, watch it!” said Rainbow Dash as something jostled her. From out of the group that had beamed down, a familiar burgundy earth pony broke away from them and charged toward the princesses at full gallop. His speed was astonishing and he had reached the princesses before the others even fully registered that he had been among them in the first place.

“Q?” yelled Riker. “What the hell?”

Pony-Q glanced back and saw the others still looking after him in confusion, but he knew it would only be a matter of seconds before they gave chase, not that it mattered if they caught up with him, of course. He had far bigger issues with which to concern himself at the moment.

“What is the meaning of this?!” said the Sun Princess sternly. “Who are you?”

“Dear Princess Celestia,” said Pony-Q, not disguising his voice at all. “Please do not be alarmed by my sudden appearance here. I don’t know how much time I have and it is vital that I speak to you. Luna as well.” He nodded in the Night Princess’s direction.

Both Celestia and Luna widened their eyes in utter shock. The voice of the pony speaking to them was unmistakable.

“YOU!” shouted Luna angrily.

“Discord?!” said Celestia in confusion. “But… what…? Why…? How are you here?” She turned her head and quickly looked out the window. Outside, she could clearly see that the statue which, until this very moment, she had believed contained the soul of Discord was indeed still standing there, just as it had been ever since it had been relocated from Ponyville after Twilight and her friends had defeated him the last time.

“Yes, it’s me,” said Pony-Q. “I am indeed the one you know as Discord, though that is not my true identity. But I can’t explain all of that right now. Please hear me out, as I have very little time. You have to trust me when I say that I mean you no ill will whatsoever. Just give me a chance to explain why I’m here.”

Luna was seething, and Celestia herself was tempted to immediately call for the guards, or else to teleport to the vault and gather up the Elements of Harmony again. Indeed, she looked beyond this strange burgundy pony that was calling himself Discord and saw that the Bearers and their four charges (counting Spike) were running toward them. She had no idea why or how they were here or what means had brought them here. And… was that a… human among them? What was going on here?

Pony-Q took their brief silence as permission to speak and said, “This is why I am here. I’m sure you recall the old legends of humans and how they had visited this world in the past. Well, I am here to tell you that those stories are indeed true, and that-”

“Q!!!” screamed a sudden, room-filling voice that none of them recognized.

None of them except for Pony-Q, that is. “No,” he said in shock. “NO! It’s far too soon! She can’t have found me already!”

Just before the throne, between where Pony-Q stood with the princesses and all of the other ponies, there was a burst of light and sound. When it faded, there was what appeared to be a female human standing there. She was tall and had flowing auburn hair. She also had an extremely enraged look on her face. The Bearers of Harmony and those with them ground to a halt some distance behind this new arrival.

The newcomer stalked toward Pony-Q and said, “I knew that you would come here sooner or later. I’ve been watching you like a hawk, Q. Did you really think your pathetic little trick with the transporter beams would fool me in the slightest?!”

Pony-Q sighed. “It was worth a shot. Listen, Q, I can explain everything if you’ll just hear me out and-”

“Ha!” said the female Q derisively. “No, I don’t want to hear a word out of you, or anyone else, until I have had my say.”

Pony-Q opened his mouth to speak and, to his astonishment, found that he couldn’t speak at all. He looked at the female Q in shock. He glanced around at all of the others in the room and saw that they were being prevented from speaking as well.

“Bet you’re wondering how I’m doing this, aren’t you,” she said. “Your little buddy’s pathetic attempts at distracting me were fruitless.” Next to her was another burst of light and sound and when it faded away, there stood a grey earth pony with blonde mane and tail. A stylized green letter ‘Q’ could clearly be seen on his flank. Pony-Q glared at him in silent rage.

“Sorry, Q,” said Pony-Q2. “There was nothing I could do. She already had the backing of the Continuum on this one, I’m afraid.”

“Be gone!” said the female Q to Pony-Q2. “I neither want nor need you here.”

Pony-Q2 glared at her for a moment, and then said, “Fine. Just be wary that you don’t overstep your bounds here yourself. You may have the Continuum on your side for the moment, but things can change.” He then disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

The female Q smiled haughtily and said, “Fool. I’ll deal with him later. Anyway, Q, even though I do have the Continuum on my side here, your little trick of splitting yourself in half has worked in my favor as well. Dividing your power like that is very, very unwise, don’t you think?”

Pony-Q ground his teeth in frustration, but could say or do nothing in response. His powers were being completely blocked. It was a feeling with which he had become aggravatingly familiar.

The female Q turned and waved her hand toward the ceiling. In the air, several yards above everyone, a strange oblong, translucent, wavering window opened up. Through this, they could see a view of Jean-Luc Picard and the human version of Q. The two of them were just exiting out of the turbolift and arriving on the bridge.

“Yes, I know you’re up there as well, watching everything that goes on down here,” said the female Q. “Well, now the tables have turned and everyone here will be able to see what goes on up there as well.” On the “screen,” Human-Q and the other humans on the ship were staring out at them, in just as much shock as all of the others in the room, and with just as much inability to speak as well.

“Now then,” said the female Q, turning back to Pony-Q. “Let’s get down to business shall we?” She strode past Pony-Q and stopped directly before Princess Celestia. “Ah…” she said, as she stared into Celestia’s eyes. The female Q studied the pony for a several moments and then sneered in disgust. “So you’re the pitiful pony trollop who has held my Q enthralled for so many millennia, are you? Hmph. I see absolutely nothing worthwhile at all.” Both Pony-Q and Human-Q glared at the female Q with fury in their eyes. Celestia, for her part, remained motionless. She, like everyone else, couldn’t speak, and she didn’t want to antagonize a creature powerful enough to accomplish such a feat if she didn’t absolutely have to.

“Well then. Here’s what is going to happen, Q,” said the female Q, turning away from Celestia with utter contempt. “First of all, you are going to be stripped of your powers once again. This ought to be very interesting, considering that you are currently in two separate forms simultaneously. You want to be among both human and ponykind? Fine. Then you’ll do so as both a simple human and an earth pony.” Both Pony-Q and Human-Q slumped as they felt their powers leaving them entirely, rather than simply being blocked. They felt their minds splitting into two, and then couldn’t sense each other at all after that.

“And now?” the female Q continued. “Now, I will reveal to these other ponies the secret that you have been trying so hard to keep from them.” She ignored the pleading looks on the faces of both Pony- and Human-Q. Turning to face the Bearers of Harmony and the others, she snapped her fingers. In the air, a few yards in front of and above them, there was another burst of light and sound. When it disappeared, the large stone statue of Discord floated there for a few seconds and then crashed to the floor. It wobbled upright for a bit, and then toppled over.

Looks of sudden, horrible realization flooded into the eyes of all the ponies in the room, save for Celestia and Luna, since they both already knew who the burgundy pony had claimed to be. That didn’t make this any less shocking for the princesses, however. Pony-Q hung his head low, while Human-Q could be seen burying his face in his hands, which he then clenched into fists that were shaking with frustration and rage.

“Finally,” said the female Q. “You will cope with this situation. Let’s see how you like dealing with all of these ponies that you tormented, now that you don’t have your powers to torment them or even to protect yourself.” The female Q sneered in his face and, with a wave of her hand, disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

Released from the power holding them mute, both Pony-Q and Human-Q cut loose with a loud, simultaneous, “&~%|(!*^$`+# YOU, Q!” Pony-Q looked down at all of the ponies he had played with during his time as Discord. They looked about as happy as he expected them to be, which is to say, not at all. What he didn’t expect, however, was for them to all begin to advance upon him at once. Even Twilight and her friends were slowly moving toward him, their eyes filled with what could only be described as black murder. “Uh oh,” said Pony-Q.

Through the window to the Enterprise, which was still open, Human-Q could be heard pleading with Picard. “You’ve got to get him out of there! They’ll tear him apart! I haven’t a clue what will happen if half of me is lynched by a mob of angry ponies.”

Picard raised an eyebrow and said, “Oh, really? I’ve a mind to beam you down there to join him, actually.”

“That’s not funny, Picard!” yelled Pony-Q through the screen. He looked past the mob and saw Riker standing there. “Riker! Help me! You can’t let them get me!”

“And why not?” asked the first officer, crossing his arms and assuming an indifferent posture. “Seems to me like you brought this on yourself, wouldn’t you say?”

“I can’t believe I was actually going to let you join the Continuum, you ungrateful bearded troll!” shouted Pony-Q. He spun around and faced Celestia and Luna. “Please, help me,” he pleaded. “I told you before that I’m not here to cause trouble! You’ve got to believe me!” He looked first at Celestia, then at Luna.

The Mistress of the Night merely grinned darkly and said, “You’re looking at the wrong princess, Discord. I’ve never like you. I’m more than tempted to join them myself, to be quite honest.” She pawed the floor with her hoof as she said this.

Pony-Q knew that his only hope of salvation, slim as it was, lay with Celestia. “Please, Celestia,” he said. He hated the sound of his own begging voice, but he didn’t want to be strung up or torn apart by these ponies. “You can’t let them do this!” Celestia was glaring down at him angrily. Pony-Q felt his chances slipping away by the second. “Do you remember the apology that I gave you back in your chambers so long ago? I was absolutely sincere, and I will repeat it now. I am sorry for everything that I have ever done to you and your little ponies. If you still feel even a glimmer of what you used to feel for me, then don’t let this happen!”

Celestia continued to glare at Pony-Q, and then shook her head, as though breaking herself out of a trance. She looked at him again with confusion in her eyes, then up at the advancing mob. She turned her head to see that even her sister was looking down at the burgundy pony with nothing but blackest hate in her eyes. She turned again to the mob of ponies, who had by now reached the base of the ramp leading up to her throne. She called out, “My little ponies! Stand down. I will deal with this matter myself, in a manner that I deem appropriate.” Shockingly, the ponies continued to advance, not even heeding her words. Celestia stepped forward and placed herself between Pony-Q and the approaching mob. Using the Royal Canterlot Voice, she said, “I SAID STOP THIS AT ONCE!” She unleashed a brief portion of her power, and a dazzling light blasted out of her horn, momentarily blinding everyone in the room and, through the “window,” everyone on the bridge of the Enterprise as well.

The mob halted at this display of power. Pony-Q and Celestia looked around at all of the suddenly confused faces.

“W… w-what’s going on?” said Twilight Sparkle, who was the closest of the mob, being only a few feet away from Pony-Q and the princesses. “I feel so… weird.” Farther away, Riker was also blinking repeatedly and shaking his head, as if to clear it. Picard and the others on the bridge of the Enterprise could be seen reacting similarly via the “screen” left behind by the female Q.

Luna shook her head as well. “I, too, feel as though I’m just now awakening from a spell of some sort. I was getting ready to tear that miserable wretch limb from limb. I mean, it is true that I hate him as much as I always have, but even so, I wouldn’t have attacked him in the clearly pitiful state that he’s in now. Tia, what’s going on here?”

Celestia looked back and forth between the mob of ponies, her sister, the humans, and the small burgundy pony cowering behind her. “I don’t know,” said the princess. “I remember everything that happened, but as soon as that female creature disappeared, I felt a sudden, nigh overwhelming force of wrath overtake me.”

There was a sudden sound like that of booming thunder throughout the chamber, and then the voice of the female Q could be heard resounding through the room. “Hmph, so you have passed my test, Q. Or rather, I should say you have failed it. If that harlot of yours were not still harboring feelings for you, then she would not have broken free of the fog I placed over all of their minds, and your hideous pony form would have been torn asunder where it stands. So, it looks like you get to survive. Good for you, I suppose, though I would have been most interested to see what would happen if half of a Q were killed. It must comfort you to know that she really does still love you, after all this time and even after every horrific thing you’ve done to her and all the others.”

Celestia’s face was bright pink with mortification at the words being spoken. Pony-Q looked up at her, feeling happy at this revelation, but also extremely angry that the female Q was airing out the princess’s private feelings like this, not just in front of him, but in front of everyone. He turned his eyes up to the ceiling and said, “Q, please, just listen to me! You don’t have to do this! None of this has anything to do with what happened between me and Celestia in the past. That’s not why I came here!”

“Yes, just hear us out!” said Human-Q, from within the “screen.”

“SILENCE! Both of you!” thundered the voice of the female Q. “I have no interest whatsoever in your dissembling. Save that for the mortals. Anyway, as I was saying… fine, so you get to live another day. Well, enjoy your time while it lasts.”

“Wait… what do you mean?” said Pony-Q, nervously.

“What have you done?” said Human-Q, equally as nervously.

“I have sent you a present,” said the female Q’s disembodied voice.

Just as she said this, Worf could be heard through the “screen” saying, “Captain, long range sensors are picking up something.”

“What is it, Mr. Worf?” said Picard. “A ship?”

“Oh dear,” said Pony-Q.

“You didn’t,” said Human-Q.

“My present to you should be there before too long,” said the voice of the female Q. “It’s in a very, very large gray metal box. You’ll have to forgive me for leaving off the bow, however. I just couldn’t find the time or interest in tying one onto it.”

“Please say you didn’t,” said Pony-Q. “Tell me this is just a joke.”

“Captain!” said Worf, the urgency clear in his voice. “It is a Borg cube!”

“She did,” said Human-Q, miserably. “And if it’s a joke, it’s not funny at all.”

The voice of the female Q could be heard laughing as it faded away.

Up on the bridge of the Enterprise, Captain Picard stood next to Worf, studying the tactical display. “What are they doing, Lieutenant?”

“I don’t understand it, sir,” said the Klingon. “They’re just sitting there at the extreme edge of our long range sensors, completely motionless. I would have expected that they would have already been heading in this direction.”

Q walked over to stand on the other side of Worf. “The Borg, as you well know, Jean-Luc, are nothing if not extremely methodical about everything they do,” he said. “If, as I suspect, that witch sent them here the same way I did your own ship, then the Borg are currently sitting tight and trying to figure out what is going on. My guess is that they are running a complete self-diagnostic on all of their systems, which will take a while, as well as trying to reestablish contact with the rest of the Collective. For now, we might have a little time to breathe, but as soon they complete that, they will detect this star system. And then they will detect the Enterprise. And then they will come.”

Picard turned to face Q and said, “I have to agree. That is exactly what they will do. However, I have a question for you.” As he spoke, Picard moved away from the tactical station and headed back for his command chair. “Who the devil was that woman down on the planet? I have to assume she is a member of the Q Continuum, but why is she doing all of this?”

Q sighed, and followed Picard. Standing alone next to Worf wasn’t somewhere he particularly cared to be, especially given that he no longer had his powers at the moment. “That, mon capitaine, was Q. She and I had a… thing, as you humans sometimes call it, at one point in time. On again off again, and all that. We’re currently deep into the ‘off again’ phase. She, however, seems to believe, mistakenly I might add, that we are always in the ‘on again’ phase. She’s very… clingy to put it as politely as I can. Jealously can be a very, very ugly thing, especially when it’s entirely unwarranted as it is in this case.”

“So all of this,” said Picard, “is because of a lover’s spat between you and her?”

“I suppose you could say it’s something like that,” said Q, sighing deeply. “I was hoping that I could talk to Celestia without her interfering, but obviously I was mistaken on that count. It’s so very aggravating.”

“And what was that about you and the pony princess?” said Picard. “That female Q said something about there being some sort of relationship between you and the princess as well. Is that-”

“Picard!” said Q, glaring at the Captain. “Don’t. Not right now. As I told you before, this is none of your business.”

“Q,” said Picard, his temper starting to flare. “Because of this situation, there is now a Borg cube within my sensor range. I believe that makes this very much my business, wouldn’t you say?”

“No,” said Q, “I wouldn’t say that at all. Besides, I believe you have more important things to worry about than my… love life.” Q made a face and muttered to himself, “There is that word again. Despite everything, I still don’t understand it.”

“What do you mean I have more important things to worry about?” said Picard.

Q looked up at the Captain again. “Why, how you plan to keep me from being assimilated by the Borg, of course.”

Picard frowned. “How we plan to keep you from being...? What?”

Q rolled his eyes and sighed again. “Jean-Luc, I’ll be straight with you. Existing as a Borg drone for a few decades or so wouldn’t matter to me a bit. It would be a novel experience for me, among many other novel experiences. Eventually the Continuum would figure that I’ve been ‘punished’ enough and would remove me from the Collective. In the meantime, however, I cannot in good conscience inflict such a horror upon you and your species, or the rest of the galaxy, for that matter.”

“What are you blathering about, Q?” said Picard, in exasperation.

“Think, Picard!” said Q, poking himself in the side of the head with an index finger. “Think! When they turned you into that abomination known as Locutus, what happened? Even with your meager human knowledge, the Borg were able to use that knowledge to annihilate thirty-nine Starfleet vessels, without taking a single scratch themselves. Now, pause for just a very brief moment and think about this. What would the Borg be capable of with the knowledge of a Q? Even locked in this feeble human brain, the knowledge is still there.”

Picard blanched at the concept. He stared at Q for a long while, and then said, “Q, I see your point. However, with that said, in order to get at you in the first place, the Borg would have to disable the Enterprise, and even without your added incentive, I have no intention of allowing that to happen. I’ll destroy the ship and you with her before I let that happen.”

Q had turned his back on Picard and was watching the view screen, which was still showing what was going on in Canterlot. Q, in a voice that was suddenly filled with excitement for some reason, said, “Picard, it may not need to come to that!”

“What do you mean?” asked Picard, but Q wasn’t listening. Instead, the former-omnipotent-entity-turned-human was staring intently at his pony self while the burgundy pony was currently deep in conversation with Pinkie Pie.

“Yes! Why didn’t I think of that?!” said Q. “Oh wait, I did think of it! Way to go, Pony-Me!” He brought his hand up and snapped his fingers. After a second or two, in which nothing happened, he snapped them again. Then, after another second or so, he turned to Picard and sighed. “Ugh. Jean-Luc, I’m going to need you to beam me down to the planet immediately.”

“And why should I allow that?” asked the Captain, crossing his arms.

“Simply put,” said Q, “my pony self has come up with a potentially brilliant solution to all of our problems, and I want to be down there to give him all the help I can, even if I am just a mere human now.”

The Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 8 – The Calm Before the Storm

“Are you truly Discord?” asked Celestia of the burgundy pony standing before her. She walked in a slow circle around him, studying him, and then looked over at the statue which was still lying on the floor in front of her throne.

Pony-Q nodded. “I am. However, as I said, that was only a guise that I took during my previous time on this world.” He glanced up at the “screen” left behind by the female Q. “And now, since we seem to have some time, I suppose I can explain some things to you.”

“Please do,” said Celestia. “I am all ears.” She, Luna, the Bearers of Harmony and their wards, and the human were all gathered around them. “And you can also explain whatever it was you were trying to say before your… friend showed up.”

Pony-Q looked up at Celestia and said, “There are some things that I will say only to you and you alone in privacy.” He glanced around at his audience. “But I can lay out the bare facts right now. I am called Q, a member of the Q Continuum. Well, former member, at this point in time, I suppose I should say. Several million years ago, in my relative youth, I happened across this world. Since there were no sapient creatures on the planet at the time, I fashioned for myself a body made up from parts of various creatures that could be found here.” He gestured toward the statue. “That body right there, in other words. And for eons I watched this world grow. Soon, in my reckoning of time anyway, ponies became one of the dominant forces on the planet. As such, I decided to start interacting with you.” He smiled wistfully at Celestia. “I’m sure you know the rest of that story.”

“She may,” said Riker, “but I don’t. Q, you’re claiming that you lived on this world for millions of years? We can hardly tolerate you for mere days at a time. I have to say that I feel sorry for you ponies if you had to put up with him for that long.”

“No, it wasn’t a pleasant time, true enough,” said Luna darkly.

Twilight, being the only one among her friends to have built up the nerve to speak at all so far, given the circumstances and the presence of both Celestia and Luna, said, “Well, I’d be lying if I claimed that I wasn’t interested in hearing this story. All that we knew until now is that Discord was an old enemy of yours and that you had banished him to stone at some point in the past using the Elements of Harmony. But… what is this about you loving Discord? That… that can’t possibly be true… can it, Princess?”

Celestia had a pained look in her eyes. “Someday, Twilight Sparkle, I may indeed tell you the whole story. But that day will not be today. Suffice it to say that things were… a bit more complicated than I initially led you to believe. With that said, however,” she said, turning back to face Pony-Q, “your imprisonment, both times, was entirely justified. You might have been charming and gentle at first, but by the end you were nothing but a disgusting, despicable, evil creature. Chaos incarnate.”

All of them, especially Riker, expected Pony-Q to take umbrage at this. Instead, he merely hung his head. “I don’t disagree with that, at all,” he said. “And believe me, if I had everything to do over again, I would change how I behaved. In fact, I’ll let you in on a little secret. The only reason you captured me this last time, or at least my body there anyway, is because I was feeling guilty and allowed it to happen.” Despite his conciliatory feelings at the moment, Pony-Q still smirked at the expressions that appeared on the faces of Twilight and her friends as he said this. “What? Did you honestly believe that even your Elements of Harmony, legitimately powerful though they are, I’ll admit, could actually hold a candle to the power of a Q? Sorry, but even when Celestia and Luna used them on me several thousand years ago, the only reason they were successful then is because the Continuum itself stepped in and blocked my own powers.” He looked up at Celestia and Luna, whose expressions now mirrored those of the Bearers. “But Celestia, I…” He swept his gaze around all of the other eyes that were on him and then shook his head violently. “Bah, I don’t care if I do say this in front of everypony. Celestia, I never stopped caring for you. Not once. Even at the height of my villainy, and there is indeed no better word to describe my behavior than that, there was always a small part of me that was being flayed alive by what I was doing to you in my madness. And surely you recall what happened in the immediate aftermath of the original incident with Night Mare Moon, even if you haven’t discussed that with anypony else.” Luna looked at Celestia with surprise at this, but the Sun Princess didn’t meet her sister’s eyes.

The long, awkward silence that followed this statement was finally broken when Celestia cleared her throat and averted her eyes from Pony-Q’s own. “Be that as it may,” she said, “I still don’t know if I can trust you, Discord. Or… should I call you Q?”

“Whichever you prefer,” said Pony-Q, shrugging. “Either is fine by me.”

“I’ll call you Q, then. The other name brings up far too many unpleasant memories,” said Celestia.

“But… also some pleasant ones as well?” said Pony-Q, hopefully.

“Discord… Q… whoever you are,” said Celestia. “Please don’t. Not now. Just… just tell me why you have come back again, after all this time. Is it safe to assume that you are the reason why there are humans here?” She glanced at Riker, with whom she had exchanged the briefest of introductions only a few minutes ago.

“Yes,” said the burgundy pony, “they’re here because of me. As for what I was going to tell you before that… witch stuck her nose in my business, however… it doesn’t matter any longer. At least, it doesn’t while the Borg are here, anyway.”

“So who or what are these… Borg?” asked Luna.

Pony-Q turned to Riker and said, “You want to take this one, or shall I?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Actually, I might be able to answer that, at least in part. I was reading about it in the library up on their ship. From what I understand, the Borg are a race that is part machine and part biological creature.”

“Ooh, like Mr. Data?” asked Pinkie Pie.

Twilight shook her head. “No, they’re not like Mr. Data. He is an android, a full machine created in the likeness of humans. The Borg, on the other hand, are made up of creatures that began their lives as fully biological creatures, at least until the Borg… um, what is the word, Mr. Riker?” She glanced up at him, managing to keep her sudden (and, to her, still infuriatingly inexplicable) blushing to a minimum for the time being.

“Assimilate,” said Riker ominously. “You see, the Borg care about one thing and one thing only. They strive for perfection. As such, they roam the galaxy, looking for other species and their worlds. When they find them, they forcibly take their technology and incorporate it into their own. In the process, they also abduct members of that species. These unfortunate souls become what we call Borg drones. They are stripped of all of their individuality. Everything that makes them unique is robbed from them, and they become part of the chorus of the unified mind that is the Borg Collective.”

“That’s sounds terrible,” said Rainbow Dash, shuddering unconsciously. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that would be like.”

“Let’s hope that you never find out,” said Riker. “While I’ve never seen non-humanoid Borg drones personally… well, I don’t want to alarm you unnecessarily, but if and when the Borg learn about the abilities that the ponies on this world possess, I fear that they will stop at nothing to try to gain that for their own use. And once you’ve been assimilated into the Collective, that’s pretty much it. The only person known to have been assimilated by the Borg and then successfully recovered is… Captain Picard.”

The long silence that followed this was finally broken by Twilight as she said, “So… what can we do? How do we stop them?”

“You don’t,” said Pony-Q, in a matter-of-fact manner. “Oh, sure, you can try to resist them for a time, but they will win in the end. Resistance, as the Borg themselves say, is futile. The only reason the humans were able to defeat them when they invaded Federation space, after a single Borg ship had wiped out almost forty of their starships, was through sheer, blind, stupid luck. I seriously doubt such circumstances will present themselves this time. Oh, and before you even get the idea into your head, let me just say right now that you’re not going to be able to friendship your way out of this predicament. Your Elements of Harmony might be able to deal with some of them, but you will be overwhelmed. Celestia and Luna might be able to take out several of them each before the inevitable occurred, as well. And this, of course, assumes that the Borg don’t immediately adapt to your magic somehow. I don’t know if it’s possible for them to do so, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. When they come, they will come in numbers. If I still had my powers, of course, none of this… would… even be… an… issue…” Pony-Q had just happened to be looking in Pinkie Pie’s general direction as he was saying this, but then his eyes suddenly focused in on the pink earth pony directly.

Pinkie Pie glanced back and forth at her friends and said, “What? Why is he staring at me? Is there something stuck in my teeth?”

Pony-Q walked over to her and began tilting his head back and forth, as though studying her intensely. “Yes… it just might work,” he muttered to himself. “Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” He walked in a slow circle around her in much the same way that Celestia had circled him earlier.

“What are you talking about?” asked Twilight. “Why the sudden interest in Pinkie Pie?”

Without turning his head to face her, Pony-Q said, “Twilight Sparkle, you once wanted to know how her Pinkie Sense worked, right? Well, give me a bit of time, and I might very well be able to answer that question for you. Come on, Pinkie Pie, let’s you and me go for a little walk. We need to have a very important little chat.”

Pinkie was a bit hesitant. “Can’t you say whatever you want to say in front of everypony? You’re… you’re not going to declare your love for me next, are you?”

Pony-Q gave her a lopsided grin. “Pinkie Pie, my dear, if what I’m thinking actually pans out, I just might. But there are some things I need to talk to you about that I’m not sure I, or you, want anypony else to hear about, at least for now. I don’t want to get anypony’s hopes up or unnecessarily alarm them until I know for sure that I’m right about this. Please, just humor me for a little while, if nothing else.”

“Hold on just a dang minute,” said Applejack. “Why should we trust ya alone with one of our friends, especially now that we know yer Discord?”

Pony-Q sighed. “First of all, I mean Pinkie Pie no harm whatsoever. Second of all, even if I did, I currently have no powers aside from those granted me by this feeble earth pony body. I don’t even have the innate strength that all other earth ponies possess. I’ll be frank,” he said, glancing briefly at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who had, along with Spike, simply been watching and listening, completely overwhelmed by what all had been going on since they’d beamed down, “even one of you little fillies could probably kick my rump if it came to some sort of physical altercation. Ugh, seriously, I wish now that I had given myself an alicorn body. Anyway, third, and most importantly, if I’m right about this… well… like I said, I don’t want to get anypony’s hopes up prematurely. But I really do need to talk with Pinkie Pie in private about this. You’ll all just have to trust me, as difficult as I know that may be.”

“Well… okay,” said Pinkie. “How about we go to the statue garden? Now that that big ugly statue of Discord isn’t out there anymore, it’s a much nicer place to be!” She looked at Pony-Q and, at the expression on his face, said, “Oops, sorry.”

Pony-Q looked down at the statue. “You know, now that I look at it myself, that thing was kind of an eyesore, wasn’t it? Powerless though it may be at the moment, I think my pony form here is much more pleasing to the eye, at least. What do you think, Celestia?” He turned and looked up at the Sun Princess, who just frowned slightly and rolled her eyes in response. Pony-Q shrugged and started walking toward the outside exit, with Pinkie Pie at his side.

At their departure, Celestia turned to Riker. “So, Commander Riker, I believe that you, my sister, and I have quite a bit more to discuss concerning this situation. I would also like to speak with your Captain as well, at his earliest convenience.”

Riker nodded. “That can easily be arranged. If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll see if I can contact the ship. I’m sure you’ll agree that speaking directly through this ‘window’ created by the Q is not ideal.” He glanced up at the aperture, which was now moving to follow Pony-Q outside, and then stepped away from the group and tapped his combadge. After a moment, he turned back to Celestia and nodded.

Facing the other ponies, Celestia said, “My little ponies, while you are here, please make yourselves at home. For the time being, my sister and I have a lot to deal with, given the circumstances, but if you have any problems, don’t hesitate to let us know.” With that, Celestia and Luna moved over to where Riker was standing.

Twilight Sparkle found her gaze lingering on the human, her cheeks starting to burn once again. This time, however, she quickly shook her head in frustration and tore her gaze away. She’d been trying for the past two days to identify what these feelings were or what was happening to her and it was increasingly bothering her. Finally deciding that she just couldn’t continue to try to deal with it by herself, she turned to her friends. “Guys,” she said hesitantly. “Um, I realize this may not be the best time for this, but I… I have a… little problem, and I need somepony to talk to.”

Rarity smiled and said, “I was wondering how long it would be before you finally broached this subject with us.”

Twilight tilted her head. “What do you mean? You don’t even know what I’m going to ask about.”

“Oh, but I think I do, Twilight dear,” said Rarity. “But don’t let me rush you. I know that this is a… delicate matter for you.”

Twilight looked around at all of her friends. They were looking back at her intently, waiting for her to speak again. She kind of felt like a bug under a microscope and suddenly wondered if bringing this up might not have been such a good idea after all. She glanced back at Riker, felt the heat flush her face again, and said, “Okay, but not right here. Let’s… put a bit of distance between us and him… them. I meant them. Us and them.” She started to walk away, with the others following her. After they’d moved safely out of earshot of Riker and the princesses, she turned to her friends again. “Girls, I… think that Q may have done something to me.”

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy looked concerned, but Rarity simply chuckled slightly. The Crusaders and Spike merely watched in confusion.

“What makes you say that, sugar cube?” asked Applejack with concern.

“Well,” said the purple unicorn. “There’s something wrong with me. I don’t know what. But it only happens when… when I’m around Mr. Riker. Well, that’s not entirely true. It happens whenever I think about him as well, even if he’s not around.”

“What is it that happens?” asked Dash. “You’re not sick are you?”

Twilight shook her head in frustration. “I don’t know, honestly. It’s just that whenever I look at him, I feel kind of faint. My heart starts beating faster, all the blood rushes to my face, and I lose concentration. I… I can’t describe it any better than that. It’s very frustrating.”

Applejack, Dash, and Fluttershy looked at each other, realization setting in.

“Is it a bad feeling, darling?” asked Rarity, although she already knew the answer.

“Well, that’s just it,” said Twilight. “I can’t say that it feels bad at all. In fact… it feels kind of… wonderful, really. It’s… well… it’s actually rather embarrassing how good it makes me feel. But… I’ve never felt anything like this before, and it’s more than a little frightening as well. What can it possibly be? Do you think Q put some kind of curse on me or something, before he lost his powers? We already know that he tampered with our minds in other ways to block our memories of Discord, after all.”

Rarity shook her head. “I’m going to tell you what I think you are experiencing. I’ve been watching you since the humans first arrived, and I’m pretty sure I’m right. Just please don’t take this the wrong way or become offended by what I’m about to say.”

“Well, what is it?” said Twilight, when Rarity paused as if considering how exactly she wanted to say whatever it was she was about to say. “If you know something, please don’t leave me in the dark!”

“All right, I’ll just give it to you straight. I… believe you have… um… a bit of a crush on the good Commander, dear,” said Rarity. “All the signs are there.”

Twilight’s eyes widened in shock. “A… a crush? You mean, like… you think I… like Mr. Riker? Like, like like him? Like… in the way you like a special somepony? Like that?”

“Well, I have to say, that is sorta how yer, uh, symptoms sound to me,” said Applejack. “I think Rarity’s right, Twi.”

Twilight shook her head furiously. “No, that… that can’t be it! He’s a… and I’m a… ewww. You can’t possibly think that I… I mean… that doesn’t even make sense!”

“Love sometimes doesn’t make sense,” said Fluttershy softly.

“I-it’s not love!!!” Twilight shouted, and then cringed when other nearby ponies looked in her direction. She quickly glanced over at Riker and was relieved that he hadn’t heard her outburst. Turning back to her friends, she said, “I’m really sorry, Fluttershy. I didn’t mean to shout at you. But, it… can’t be love… can it?”

“You have been kinda actin’ like how Miss Cheerilee and Big Macintosh acted when we mixed up that Love Poison,” said Apple Bloom. “Well, okay, maybe not quite that over-the-top, but still…”

“Yeah, even we’ve noticed that much,” said Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement with her friends.

“But…” said Twilight. “I… How…? Why…?” She stumbled over to the nearest chair and plopped down in it. “I… I have a crush. On a human. That’s just so… so… weird.” She sounded like it was the end of the world. “Do you think I’m weird?”

Spike said, “What’s so weird about that? It’s not any different than me and-” He suddenly clapped his hands over his mouth, blushing furiously and looking everywhere but at Rarity. He knew that the gorgeous white unicorn already knew how he felt, ever since the incident where he had grown huge and rampaged through the town, and he knew that Pinkie and Twilight already knew because he’d flat out told them, and he knew that Photo Finish, of all ponies, knew because Twilight had blurted it out later after he’d told her, even though she’d promised to keep it secret. But he was certain that none of the other ponies knew about his crush on Rarity, and he intended to keep it that way. He failed to notice the subtle smirks that Applejack and Rainbow Dash shared, or the warm smile that Fluttershy was bestowing upon him, or even the giggles of the CMC.

Rarity decided to spare Spike any further embarrassment. Instead, she walked over next to Twilight and patted her softly on the back while the purple unicorn sat slumped over on the chair. “Come on, darling, it’s not so bad.” She glanced over at Riker, who was still conferring with Celestia and Luna and, presumably, Captain Picard as well. “I must admit, I do find him quite the charmer myself. It’s perfectly understandable that one might develop feelings for him like you have.”

“Yes, he… is rather handsome… for a human,” said Fluttershy. She blushed more than a little bit herself at this admission.

“It’s gotta be the beard,” said Applejack, also looking at the human in an appraising manner. “What do ya think, Dash?”

“Meh, his beard isn’t nearly as cool as Worf’s,” said Rainbow Dash with a shrug. When the others turned to look at her, she shook her head and waved a hoof. “Before you even start, no, I do not have a crush on Worf. He’s way cool and all, but… no. Just… no.” She shook her head again and rolled her eyes. “I have to admit though… Mr. Riker is rather easy on the eyes. I can see why you’d fall for him, Twilight.”

Twilight raised her head out of her hooves and turned to her friends again. “But what do I do about this? What can I do about it?”

“That depends, darling,” said Rarity. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I… I don’t know,” said the purple unicorn. “I have no idea how to handle something like this. It’s completely outside of my area of experience. I mean, sure, I’ve read the occasional romance novel or two. Who hasn’t? But… I never expected anything like that to ever happen to me, especially not with a human. I am completely unprepared to deal with this, so I really need your advice, you guys.”

“Well… do you want to tell him how you feel?” asked Fluttershy.

“Or do ya want one of us to?” asked Applejack.

Twilight’s only audible response to this was a slight squeak, accompanied by a vehement shaking of her head.

Rarity sighed and said, “Twilight, dear, I hate to break it to you, but I’m fairly sure that he’s already well aware of how you feel. In fact, I know that Counselor Troi knows how you feel, and she has most likely let him know about it, even if he hadn’t already figured it out on his own.”

Twilight closed her eyes and slumped back in the chair, letting her head rest against the back of it. She brought a front hoof up to one of her temples and started massaging it. “Oh no, you’re right. She’s a Betazoid, and they can read minds. Of course she already knows. Oh dear…”

“Technically,” said Fluttershy, “Deanna, er I mean Miss Troi, can only read emotions, not full thoughts, given that she’s only half-Betazoid. She mentioned that to us at the party while you were talking to Mr. Riker.”

Twilight opened one eye and fixed it on the yellow pegasus pony. “That’s still just as bad,” she said. “Argh. I’ve been… I’ve been mooning over him the entire time, haven’t I? I’m such a foal. It’s just… it’s just that he’s been so very nice to me… us… to us, that I… I… Oh… I feel so ashamed.” She completely covered her face with her front hooves, trying to hide the fact that it was almost entirely red at the moment.

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Rarity firmly, “there is absolutely nothing for you to feel ashamed about.”

“That’s right, sugar cube,” said Applejack. “Ya can’t help who ya fall in love with, now can ya? And there ain’t a thing wrong with that.”

Twilight slowly lowered her hooves but kept her eyes closed. “I… I suppose. It’s just… well, like I said, I’ve never felt like this before with anypony else. I mean, I’ve occasionally daydreamed about what it might be like, in the abstract, but the reality of it all is just… it’s just so… so confusing. Not to mention terrifying.” She opened her eyes and sat up straight. “I wonder…” She looked over at Riker and the others again. This time, however, her eyes were upon Celestia, rather than Riker. “I wonder if this is how it was with the Princess and Discord.” The other ponies shared somewhat uncomfortable looks with each other as Twilight went on. “You guys heard the same thing I did. That female Q said that the Princess wouldn’t have been able to break out of the spell that had been put over all of us if she didn’t… didn’t still have… feelings for Discord. It boggles my mind to think that they…” She shook her head.

“Uh, so are you comparing Mr. Riker to Discord?” said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight looked at Dash sharply. “Of course I’m not! Discord was horrible! Mr. Riker is… is…” She trailed off and looked down, embarrassed all over again. She shook her head again and said, “But yeah, if this is how the Princess felt about Discord, and still feels even now to some extent, well… I guess we can’t say that even he is all bad, can we? Wow… I… never thought I’d be talking about Discord like this, you know?”

“Speaking of Discord,” said Spike, “He and Pinkie Pie have been out there for a while now. I wonder what they could possibly be talking about.”

“So what do you want to talk to me about?” asked Pinkie Pie, as she and Pony-Q aimlessly meandered their way around the statue gallery.

“Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q. “I am going to ask you a few questions. It’s okay if you can’t answer them, but I want you to take me seriously and at least try to answer them, please.”

“Okie dokie lokie,” said Pinkie cheerfully. “I’ll do my best!”

Pony-Q nodded. “Thank you. This is very important. Okay, first of all… your Pinkie Sense. You claim that you have no direct control over it, correct?”

Pinkie nodded. “That’s right. It just kind of comes to me at random.”

“Hmm,” said Pony-Q and then nodded. “What would you say if I told you that I could help you gain direct control over it?”

Pinkie Pie slowed her pace a bit as she thought about this. “I would probably say that you’re crazy. But then again, I’ve seen what you can do as Q, and I’ve seen what you were able to do as Discord as well, so… who knows? Maybe you could. By the way,” she said, looking back and forth as she spoke, as if to make sure nobody was eavesdropping on them, “I just want to tell you that despite all the other mean things you did as Discord, I was a huge fan of your cotton candy chocolate milk rain clouds.”

Pony-Q grinned. “Yeah, those are pretty great, aren’t they? Well, what would you say if I told you that I could teach you how to make them yourself?”

Pinkie’s eyes widened at this. “Really? You can do that? But… I thought you said you didn’t have your powers anymore. Wait…” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You aren’t trying to trick me into joining the Q the way you did Mr. Riker, are you?”

“As you just said, I don’t have my powers any more,” said Pony-Q. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t need to do that. Pinkie Pie, I want you to listen to what I am about to say very, very carefully. You already have the power. Not that of the Q specifically, of course, but you possess a power very similar.”

Pinkie Pie’s mouth hung open at this. “Okay, now I know you’re crazy. Or maybe you’re just trying to play some kind of prank on me. Is this the part where you yell ‘You just got Punk’d!’ or ‘Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!’ or something?” She started looking around again to see if she could find any hidden cameras.

“Pinkie Pie, this isn’t a joke or a prank,” said Pony-Q. “It’s much, much better than that. I am telling you that you, right now, already have a power nearly on par with that of a member of the Q Continuum, and you’ve had it your whole life. All you’ve lacked is awareness of it and mastery over it. I believe that I can help you with both of those things, even despite lacking powers of my own at the moment.”

The pink earth pony stopped and stared at the formerly omnipotent entity. “You’re really serious, aren’t you?” she said. “You really do think I have these powers.”

Pony-Q nodded. “Hear me out. Think back to some of the things that have happened to you in the past. For instance, think back to your birthday last year.”

Pinkie frowned. “I… I’d rather not, actually. I was… kind of a big dumdum that day, and… well… it would be better if I don’t dwell on that too much.”

“I apologize,” said Pony-Q. “I didn’t mean to dredge up bad memories, but I only want you to focus on a single part of that day. Or, you know what, forget that. There’s another day when the exact same thing happened. Remember the day when Rainbow Dash’s friend Gilda came to visit?”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes. “And that’s another day I’d rather not remember. I just wanted Gilda to stop being such a grumpy grump and be friends with all of us, but it blew up in my face. I feel bad that Dashie lost a friend that day, to be honest. I hate the thought of anypony losing friends like that, even if they’re grumps like Gilda.”

Pony-Q sighed. “Again, I apologize. But here’s what I’m getting at. At a point on each of those days, for whatever reasons, Rainbow Dash was trying her absolute very best to get away from you, right? And yet, you were able to keep up with her.”

“Uh huh,” said Pinkie with a nod. “What’s your point?”

The formerly omnipotent entity raised an eyebrow. “And that doesn’t seem a bit strange to you?”

“Why should it?” asked Pinkie, shrugging her shoulders.

“Rainbow Dash,” said Pony-Q, “is the fastest pony in the world, right?”

“Yep,” said Pinkie with a nod. “Even without the sonic rainboom to help her, she’s still the fastest pony ever. I bet she could even whup the Wonderbolts in a race.”

Pony-Q clicked his tongue and said, “And yet, despite all that, you, a simple earth pony, were able to chase her and keep up with her. Not only that, but you were able to actually be at the places she fled to before she even got there herself, some of which, I might add, were places that only a pegasus could easily reach. Again, this doesn’t seem unusual to you at all?”

Pinkie tilted her head to the side. “Well, when you put it like that… it kind of does seem a bit weird.”

“Okay, how about in the Everfree Forest?” asked Pony-Q. “You laughed at those tree monsters and they disappeared, just like that.”

“That’s… not weird at all. Is it?” asked Pinkie. “Besides, I’m not the only one who did that. All of my friends were able to do that.”

“Only because you convinced them of it first,” said Pony-Q. “You were the one who decided that laughing at those things would be what it took to defeat them, and it worked. That’s not enough to convince you? Then here’s another example. Remember the time when Fluttershy became a fashion model? Remember how Twilight Sparkle knew that Fluttershy hated it and that Rarity was jealous of it, but neither of them wanted to tell the other and both made Twilight promise not to tell as well? Remember how, every time she was just about to break her promises, you would pop up out of nowhere and stop her? Like from within a bowl of sponges, or out of an apple cart? That last time, when Twilight blurted out Spike’s secret at the end, you appeared to her from within a mirror. Pinkie Pie, you can’t look me in the eye and tell me that appearing to another pony from the inside of a mirror is something that normal ponies can do.”

Pinkie Pie stared at Pony-Q with wide eyes. “I… I don’t know. I never really think about that sort of thing. I just do it. I… okay, you’re starting to really make me sound like some kind of freak here, and I-”

“One more example,” Pony-Q interrupted her, trying to drive his point home. “It’s a fairly minor one, but still an example. I’m just going to say it right out. Pinkie Pie, the amount of sweets that you eat on a daily basis would straight up kill any other pony. Stone dead. That is not an exaggeration in the slightest. Derpy’s obsession with muffins, or Soarin’ and his taste for pie, or even Princess Celestia’s penchant for cake… none of them hold the slightest candle to you. For instance, think back to that ridiculously huge cake-éclair-donut-mousse monstrosity that you guys put together from the leftovers of the entries to the National Dessert Competition. Remember that? Remember how you inhaled that entire gargantuan thing in a single bite?”

“But… I just have a sweet tooth, that’s all,” said Pinkie, a bit defensively.

“You even ate the blue ribbon,” said Pony-Q drily.

Pinkie shook her head. “I don’t eat all that much more than other ponies.”

Pony-Q just looked at her, saying nothing.

“Okay,” admitted Pinkie, “maybe I do. But… that doesn’t mean I’m some sort of freakish reality warper like you are, er… were, does it?”

“And don’t even get me started on that whole ‘breaking the fourth wall’ thing, because quite frankly that terrifies even me,” said Pony-Q.

“What do you mean?” said Pinkie Pie, in utter confusion. “I have no clue what you’re talking about with that one.” She paused and then looked around at seemingly nothing at all. “Oh… wait… hold on, are you talking about all of my friends there on the other side of the-”

“Stop!” said Pony-Q. “STOP! Don’t even go there. Let’s just say that, yes, I am indeed referring to your friends on the… other side… and leave it at that.”

“They’re watching us right now, you know,” said Pinkie Pie. Again, she turned her head around and looked at seemingly empty space. She grinned and winked.

“Yes. I know,” said Pony-Q, glancing in the same direction that Pinkie was looking and then quickly averting his eyes. He let out a shuddery sigh. “I’m sorry, but I just find it very creepy. Be very thankful that you haven’t seen some of the things that I have seen. But, yeah, like everything else, it’s yet another example of your powers.”

Suddenly, a few feet away, they heard the tell-tale tinkling sound of transporter beams. A few seconds later, Human-Q was standing next to them. “I didn’t miss anything did I? I saw you talking to Pinkie Pie on the view screen and I’m here to help. This, by the way, is an absolutely brilliant idea, if I do say so myself. Have you mentioned the fourth wall yet?”

“Yep, just did,” said Pony-Q. “But she doesn’t seem to believe me when I tell her that she really does have powers like mine. Er… ours.”

“This is very weird,” said Pinkie Pie. “You guys have the exact same voice. And since I now also remember it as the voice of Discord, it’s even weirder.”

“You’ll get used to it,” the two Qs said simultaneously. They looked at each other and both raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, that was a little bit weird, yeah,” said Human-Q.

Pony-Q turned back to Pinkie Pie. “Anyway, surely you’ve experienced other little things that clued you in to the fact that you’re simply not like other ponies, right?”

Pinkie shook her head in frustration. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, really. It’s just that… well… I don’t want my friends to think of me as some kind of weirdo. No offense, but I don’t want them to think about me the same way everypony seems to think about you. Especially Discord you. The humans seem to think that you’re nothing but a nuisance as well.”

“Pinkie Pie,” said Human-Q. “There’s nothing wrong with being different, or having abilities that others don’t have. They dislike me because, well… I’ll be frank. Being a Q is all I know. Having powers like mine, when I have them anyway, is just my nature. I… sometimes have trouble relating to mortal creatures because of it, and they to me. It’s not unlike how you would deal with something like an amoeba or whatever. Sure, you can study it easily enough, but it’s very hard to relate to it, you get me? You, on the other hand, have lived your whole life as an earth pony. And, unlike when Riker was given the power of the Q, you’ve already had all of these powers your whole life as well, even if you haven’t been able to directly control them.”

“Still,” said Pinkie, “my friends don’t know that. If I were to suddenly start doing crazy things like you, they’d get really annoyed with me. Even now, behind my back they’ll say ‘Oh, that’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.’ They think I don’t hear them say it, but I do. I don’t want them to be even more irritated by me, or worse, scared of me. I don’t want to lose my friends!” She had the beginnings of tears in her eyes as she spoke. “I… these powers you say I have. Deep down, I know you’re telling the truth, and that scares me. I don’t want to be different from anypony else, not anymore than I already am.”

Human-Q and Pony-Q shared a look, and then Human-Q said, “Okay then, let’s talk about something else for the moment. Surely you remember the time when the so-called ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie came to Ponyville, right?”

Pinkie Pie furrowed her brow. “Sure I do. I was there for the show when that big meanie pants Trixie made fun of my friends. But I don’t see what that has to do with what we’re talking about here, though.”

“Consider this,” said Pony-Q. “Twilight Sparkle spent that whole day worrying about how you guys would be angry at her for having more magic than anypony else, and that you’d think she was nothing but a big show-off like Trixie. She was afraid to even admit she had it, let alone use it, for fear that she’d lose her friends.”

“But… but that’s just crazy talk,” said Pinkie indignantly. “We’d never hate Twilight for her magic. That’s part of who she is, after all. It’s her special talent. And she saved the whole town from the Ursa Minor later that night. I saw the whole thing! It was amazing! We were so proud of her!”

“Right you are,” said Human-Q. “That’s exactly how it ended up with Twilight when she used her magic to return the Ursa Minor to its cave. Everypony, with the exception of Trixie, was happy about the whole thing. Now… just imagine how they’ll feel if you were to use your own powers to save the entire planet from the Borg.”

Pinkie pondered for a bit and then shook her head. “But… I’m different from Twilight. She has control of her powers. I don’t. I can’t even control my Pinkie Sense. And I have no idea how I’m able to keep up with Rainbow Dash. I just… do. And the trees in Everfree… I was just remembering what my Granny Pie used to tell me as a filly. And the mirror thing… I… can’t explain that one at all. As for the sweets… I just really, really like sweets. I never thought there was anything weird about that. Even if I really do have these powers that you say I do, I don’t have a single clue how to use them.”

“And that’s where I come in,” said Pony-Q. “Er, where we come in.” He glanced up at his human self, who grinned back down at him.

“Yeah, being in two entirely separate and disconnected bodies is taking a bit to get used to,” said Human-Q. “But never mind that. It may actually come in handy for this. So, Pinkie, what do you say? Will you let us teach you how to use your powers?”

Pinkie nodded slowly. “If… if you really think you can, then…” She grinned. “Okie dokie lokie. I’m game! When do we start?”

Human-Q looked up at the “window” that had followed them out to the courtyard. It was currently showing the tops of Picard’s and Worf’s heads, as the captain was looking in on the status of the Borg ship once again. It also gave them an excellent view of the tactical display as well. “It looks like the Borg are still sitting tight for the moment, which is what I expected. If I know the Borg, and assuming this slab of meat called a brain is not failing me entirely, I calculate that it will still take them several more hours to finish their self-diagnostic, before they start looking outward again, and after that, unless we just get really unlucky, it still should take them a bit more time to notice us here, so… I think we can at least wait until morning to start. It’s rather dark out here right now, after all. And I’ll be honest, I’m starting to feel the effects of that terrifying thing called ‘sleep’ overcoming me.”

Pony-Q yawned mightily. “Huh, same here. I really hope ponies don’t sleep any differently than humans do. It’s bad enough remembering how it was as a human. So, are you going back up to the Enterprise now?”

Human-Q shook his head. “The only experience I have with human beds is with the one that was in the brig. I think I’d rather try my luck with pony beds… or perhaps a gravel pit. Let’s go see if we can convince Celestia to lend us a room here at the palace.”

“Sounds good,” said Pony-Q. He turned back to Pinkie Pie and said, “Okay, so first thing in the morning, we’ll get started in teaching you how to use your powers.”

Preparations

Chapter 9 - Preparations

“This,” said Geordi La Forge, “is a photon torpedo.”

Twilight Sparkle looked down at the large, oblong, black object. It was amazing that such a deceptively simple looking thing was capable of such destruction, at least based upon what she’d read about them in the holodeck library and what she’d been told about them just now by the chief engineer. And yet, in this case, the problem was that it actually wasn’t destructive enough.

Long into the night, while everyone else had tried to sleep, Captain Picard, Commander Riker, and Princesses Celestia and Luna had conferred about the Borg threat and what could potentially be done about it. Picard had admitted that his ship’s weaponry was no match for that of a Borg cube and that, unless something could be done to counter this weakness, there would be no way for the Enterprise to stop or even slow down the Borg vessel. One of the ideas Luna had suggested was to attempt to use magic to enhance the weapons on the ship. When told of the plan, Twilight had volunteered to test this possibility to see if it would bear any fruit. This is why the morning found Twilight in the torpedo bay, along with La Forge and Data. If anything came of it, some of Celestia’s magical advisors would be beamed up to the ship to make any changes to the ordnance as directed by Twilight and La Forge.

“From what we have been told,” said Data, “you are going to attempt to infuse some of your magical energy into the torpedo. Even with my recent experiments into such things, I am still unclear as to how this process will work, but I understand that this is how most of your more complex technology operates.”

“That’s true,” said Twilight. “However, there has never been a device as complex as this one on our world. Besides, what we have is designed from the start to be compatible with our magic, so I’m not sure if this will work at all.”

La Forge nodded. “All we can do is try it and see how it turns out. The torpedo isn’t fully armed at the moment, so there should be little chance of it accidentally exploding on us here, but with that said, still be careful with whatever you plan to do.”

Twilight looked more closely at the torpedo. Tentatively, she sent out a field of magic that surrounded the weapon, probing at its insides and simply testing to see what she could find out about it. “You say that the explosion is caused by an interaction between matter and antimatter? I have to admit, that’s very advanced stuff even for me. Only some of the most learned of magical scholars throughout the history of Equestria have even speculated at the possible existence of something like antimatter, and none of them ever managed to create any in order to work with it.”

The chief engineer said, “Well, in this case, the antimatter is only being used as a catalyst, so there isn’t anything too particularly complicated about the operation of the torpedo, aside from the guidance systems perhaps. We fire it, it hits the target, the energy field surrounding the antimatter is disrupted, and boom. The problem is that the Borg cube is capable of easily withstanding multiple matter/antimatter explosions such as this. Many more than we have torpedoes.”

Twilight chewed her lower lip a bit as she let her magic give her an impression of the workings of the torpedo. It wasn’t as incredibly complex as she had expected it to be, but she still had to work a bit to wrap her head around some of the finer details. “Hmm,” she said after a moment, “I suppose I could try to simply infuse the outer casing of the torpedo with magic. It might increase the yield of the explosion. Or maybe I could do something with the energy field holding the antimatter for a similar effect. Perhaps combine the two. I don’t really want to mess with the antimatter itself, though.”

Data nodded. “That is reasonable. If you wish to begin the process now, I will monitor with my tricorder. If there seems to be a risk of the torpedo exploding, I will immediately transport it out into space.”

“I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” The unicorn took a deep breath and concentrated as she began to increase her magical output. The torpedo was being blanketed in a thick field of purple energy. This process went on for about five minutes.

“I think this will work, Data,” said La Forge. “We won’t know for sure until we test it, but I think this might just do the trick. Don’t ask me how, but I think it will.”

“I’m ready to try enhancing the energy field now,” said Twilight.

“Acknowledged,” said Data, holding his tricorder steady as the magical field being put out changed subtly.

“Whoa, Data,” said Geordi suddenly. “I’m detecting irregularities in the containment field. I think it’s about to collapse! Twilight, stop whatever you’re doing!” The unicorn quickly withdrew her magical field and stepped back, breathing heavily.

“It is too late,” said Data. “Field collapse is imminent. I am jettisoning the torpedo now.” His fingers flew over a nearby console and the torpedo was enveloped in transporter beams. Immediately afterward, the ship rocked violently for a few seconds before finally returning to normal.

The nearby communications panel beeped and the voice of Captain Picard came through. “Mr. La Forge, was that you? We just detected a massive explosion at the edge of transporter range. It appeared to be a photon torpedo detonation, but… the explosive yield was at least eight hundred times greater than even maximum-yield torpedoes.”

La Forge looked back and forth between Data and Twilight and whistled in amazement. He tapped the comm panel and said, “I believe we’re on to something here, Captain. We had to jettison the torpedo due to instability in the antimatter containment field, but we had success with infusing the material components with magic. I believe that if we focus our efforts on that, rather than attempting to enhance the energy field, we will have similar but more controllable results. Sir, I believe that when the Borg finally wake up and decide to visit, we’ll definitely be able to give them something to think about.” He flashed a grin at Twilight and nodded.

“Keep me posted, Mr. La Forge,” said Picard. “And nice work, Miss Sparkle. Picard out.”

Twilight calmed her breathing and said, “I-I’m really sorry about that.”

Geordi shook his head. “No apology is necessary. None of us could have predicted how the torpedo would react to your magic. Based upon the results, I’d say the experiment was highly successful, even if it cost us a torpedo. And now we know not to mess with the energy field, as well.”

“It’s not that,” said Twilight. “I’m sorry because I… I kind of let myself get distracted a bit there. I… well, I didn’t sleep very well last night, for one thing.”

“I imagine that was the case for many,” said Data. “With the Borg threat looming over us, it is only understandable.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I mean, yeah, this whole thing with the Borg is definitely very scary, but… I had other things on my mind last night as well.”

“Want to talk about it?” asked Geordi, giving her a friendly smile.

Twilight looked at the chief engineer for a moment. “Can I ask you something?” At Geordi’s nod, she took a deep breath and continued. “Would you consider yourself to be friends with Mr. Riker?”

Geordi nodded again and said, “Well… yeah. Sure. We often meet up in Ten Forward during our off-hours, and most of the command staff gets together at least once a week for poker, which includes the Commander. He cleans us out more often than not.”

“Poker?” asked the purple unicorn.

“A game,” said Data, “originating on Earth. It is played with a deck of playing cards. The object of the game is to-”

“Data,” said Geordi, shaking his head slightly.

“Ah, yes. I suppose that the details of the game are not relevant to the conversation,” said the android.

Twilight was beginning to blush. “So… can you tell me anything about him? What’s he like when he’s not on duty?”

Geordi watched the unicorn closely before responding. “Well… as I said, he’s interested in playing poker, for one thing, and he’s very good at it. Let’s see… he plays the trombone. Jazz is his specialty. And he’s pretty athletic. He’s rather good at Parrises squares, and I’ve seen him in Worf’s mok’bara classes on occasion. What else…? Um… he’s in Dr. Crusher’s theater troupe, he plays 3D chess, and he’s a pretty good cook. Oh, and he’s… er… quite popular with the ladies.” His VISOR indicated a marked increase in Twilight’s body temperature as he said the last.

“May I ask you a question?” asked Data of the purple unicorn. “It is of a personal nature so if you decline to answer, I will understand.”

“Er… s-sure,” said Twilight, nervously. “Ask away.”

“Is this line of inquiry related to your infatuation with the Commander in some way?” asked the android.

Twilight’s response to this was for her face to go entirely beet red, her eyes to widen into saucers, and for her jaw to drop. “I… I… how… how did you know?” she finally managed to stammer out.

“Simple observation,” said Data. “I was watching you during your interactions with the Commander during the party two nights ago as well as during the get-together in Ten Forward yesterday evening. Taking into consideration the difference between human and pony behavior and physiology, your conduct then, as now, seems consistent with that of someone experiencing a… crush, I believe it is called.”

“Am I… was I the only one who didn’t immediately recognize this for what it was?” the purple pony muttered to herself miserably.

Geordi winced in sympathy with Twilight. Turning to Data he said, “Data! You can’t just… just blurt out something like that! I’m sorry, Twilight. You’ll have to forgive Data. He’s still a bit… …well… clueless when it comes to topics such as this. No offense intended, Data, but it’s true.”

“None taken, since it is not possible for you to offend me,” said the android. “And… I apologize, Twilight, if I have caused you undue stress with my question and observation. As Geordi says, I am indeed rather ‘clueless’ about this subject.”

“No problem!” said Twilight, a bit too cheerfully. “Apology accepted! I’m sorry I brought it up! Can we talk about something else now?!”

Geordi shook his head and smiled gently. “I have to admit, this sort of thing is a bit outside of my area of expertise as well. The person you really want to talk to is Counselor Troi. Well, and I suppose that you’ll probably want to eventually talk to Commander Riker himself about this at some point as well.”

“I… I…” said Twilight, “er, okay. I’ll talk to Counselor Troi when we’re done here. So, uh… are we done here?”

Geordi shrugged. “Well, we’ve made very good progress, so if you want to continue this later, that’s fine. I think we have enough data to go ahead and get your princess’s people up here. Still, given the circumstances, I was hoping that I could get you to take a look at the phaser array as well. See what kind of magic you could work on it.” He grinned. “It’s a bit weird to say that and literally mean it.”

Twilight nodded. “Okay. I think I’d rather focus on something other than my… um, issue, for the time being. Show me these phasers of yours.”

Worf felt the hairs on his neck stand up and was once again glad he was wearing the protective headgear that covered his ears and shielded his eyes. Less than a second later, yet another targeting dummy standing several yards away from him was absolutely disintegrated as a lightning bolt came crashing down into it. He raised the visor that was covering his face and looked up into the sky. As he had been the first time he’d seen it, he was still amazed at the ability of the pegasi to form and move around clouds as though they were semi-solids rather than the pure water vapor he knew them to be. Several pegasi were doing just that at the moment, in fact. He saw a blue blur flitting back and forth among the clouds and smiled. He lowered the visor again as a voice crackled over the short-range communicator attached to the headgear.

“Good job, Fluttershy!” said the voice. “Okay, you ready down there, Worf?”

“I am ready, Rainbow Dash,” said Worf. He glanced over at the remaining tactical dummies that were standing a moderate distance away from him.

“This time, I’m going to take out all five of them at once,” said the pegasus over the channel. “Here goes!”

Once again, that telltale feeling of hairs standing up all over his body briefly preceded the sudden crack of thunder. As he watched, five simultaneous lightning bolts instantaneously threaded their way to the ground, all of them striking home against the five remaining dummies. The dummies, of course, were utterly obliterated. The smell of ozone filled the air. A few seconds after this, Rainbow Dash herself drifted down from the clouds above and gracefully alighted on the ground in front of him. She was wearing a headset similar to the one Worf was wearing, but without eye protection, since pegasi didn’t need it. Another moment later and Fluttershy joined them from above as well.

“Very good,” said Worf. “Should the Borg send down drones to the planet surface, this should indeed handle them rather effectively, at least for a little while.”

“I still don’t see how anything can adapt to being struck by lightning,” said Dash with a slight frown. “Well, if that is the case, then I guess I’ll have to wait and take out as many as I can all at once before they can adjust. What do you think, ‘Shy?”

Fluttershy had her head lowered and wasn’t meeting their eyes. “I…” she said. “I still don’t feel comfortable about using the weather as a… as a weapon like this.”

Rainbow faced her friend fully and said, “Look, Fluttershy, I know how you feel. But if everything we’ve heard about these Borg jerks is true, it’s going to be us or them. We need to be ready to do what we have to in order to protect those we love, you know?”

“It’s just…” said the yellow pegasus, “I… well, are you sure that there’s no way that we can try to talk to them? To make them see reason and leave us alone?”

Worf sighed, but not unkindly. “Fluttershy, I understand your concern. As much as my warrior’s blood sings to me in anticipation of the upcoming battle, I know that you ponies are not warriors. I realize that this must be difficult for you. Think about it like this. You are one with nature, are you not?”

“Yes,” said Fluttershy, a bit uncertainly. “But…”

“The Borg,” said Worf, “are the exact antithesis to nature. To them, this planet and everything on it, even the living creatures, are nothing more than raw materials to be processed and consumed. Think about how your friend Rarity digs up gems to be used in her fashion design work. This is how the Borg will treat you if they can get their hands on you. The difference between Rarity and the Borg, however, is that her work is for the purpose of creating things of beauty. In fact, I’m sure she appreciates the beauty of the gems themselves as she harvests them. She also doesn’t lay waste to her environment in order to pursue this. The Borg have no use for beauty. To them, beauty is only one of many things that they consider to be irrelevant. When they come, if you do not defend yourself, they will destroy you or, worse, make you part of their Collective. I’ve seen what they do and it is not pleasant. If they succeed here, this world will be reduced to nothing more than massive, gaping, empty craters covering the entire surface of the planet. I don’t mean to be overly harsh with you, but that is the simple truth. The Borg will not be kind, nor will they show mercy. Kindness and mercy are irrelevant.”

Fluttershy’s response was nothing more than a small, fearful squeak, her eyes wide as she regarded the Klingon.

Rainbow Dash looked at her friend with sympathy. “That’s why we have to be ready for them,” said the blue pony. “We can’t let them just come down here and take everything we know. We have to be ready to fight them.”

“I… I… understand,” said Fluttershy finally. “I hate it. I hate the thought of harming anything, but… if I have to, I will do what it takes.”

Rainbow nodded. “Good. So how about we practice making our personal tornadoes again?”

Worf agreed. “Yes, that is a good plan. Even if the Borg’s personal shields can somehow adapt to the energy of a lightning bolt, I still believe that they will find it most difficult to adapt to the concussive force of being lifted hundreds of feet into the air and then dropped.”

Fluttershy nodded slowly. “Okay,” she said. “But you know I don’t have very much wing-power, Dash. Maybe I should focus on helping with the directed flooding?”

Dash looked at Fluttershy appraisingly and then nodded. “Yeah, maybe that’s best. Still, I just want to see you give it one more shot, okay? Do it for me?”

“Okay, I’ll give it another try,” said Fluttershy, with determination.

Worf watched as the two pegasus ponies took to the skies once more.

“Good morning, Pinkie Pie!” said Pony-Q as he inspected the area in which they were to begin training the pink pony. “It was nice of Celestia to cordon off this section of the gardens for our use.”

“I see you brought some friends with you,” said Human-Q. He looked past Pinkie at Applejack and Rarity, who were following closely behind her as she slowly approached the two former Qs.

“We didn’t like the thoughts of leaving her alone with the two of you together,” said Rarity, eyeing the two entities carefully.

“Yeah,” said Applejack. “One Discord was bad enough, but two? Even if ya don’t have yer powers, I still wouldn’t trust ya as far as I could buck ya.”

“Fair enough,” said Human-Q. “The more the merrier. Where are your sisters, if I may ask?”

“The Princesses sent them back to Ponyville on the overnight train,” said Rarity, “along with Scootaloo and Spike.”

“What?” said Pony-Q. “And Jean-Luc didn’t offer to beam them back there? How inconsiderate of him.”

“We didn’t ask him to,” said Applejack, with annoyance. “Ya know we can’t start becomin’ too dependent on them and their fancy doodads.”

Human-Q narrowed his eyes. “Well, for now at least, you’d better get used to being dependent on them. That ship up there is the only thing standing between you and complete assimilation by the Borg. Anyway, I figured you’d have wanted to keep your family close at hand. How will you keep an eye on them if they’re all in Ponyville and you’re here?”

Rarity shook her head and said, “I feel much better with them safe at home, rather than here in the thick of things. After all, they said that this would probably be the first place to be attacked when those monstrosities show up.”

Pony-Q smirked. “Ha! You think Ponyville will be any safer than Canterlot when the Borg arrive? Well, perhaps… but only because the Borg wouldn’t have as much use for such a podunk little town as Ponyville anyway. As such, it probably would be one of the last pieces of this world to be scooped out and dragged up to the Borg ship for processing into fuel. If anything, you did them a disservice by sending them back. At least here, they’d be among the first to go. Back in Ponyville, however, they’ll have to experience the terror of watching the rest of the world torn apart first, knowing that it’s only a small matter of time before it happens to them as well.” He softened the mocking expression on his own face at the looks of horror he saw on the faces of the other ponies. “Sorry, but I’m just telling it like it is.”

“Ya really don’t think we stand a chance here, do ya?” asked Applejack quietly.

“Ordinarily, I would say you don’t have a prayer,” said Human-Q. “In fact, even with the Enterprise up there in orbit, you still wouldn’t have the slightest chance. But we aim to change that here and now.” He looked at Pinkie Pie. “What’s the matter, Pinkie? You haven’t said a word since you got here.”

“I…” said the pink pony, and then took a deep breath. “I just don’t know if I can do this. I know I said I was game and all, but… still…” Pinkie Pie had explained to her friends last night what the Qs had planned. As she had suspected, her friends had thought the Qs were as crazy as she had initially believed. She hadn’t shared with them all of the evidence that had been presented to the contrary, though. She had been somewhat relieved but at the same time somewhat apprehensive when Rarity and Applejack had insisted on coming with her this morning.

“Don’t you worry a pretty pink hair on your head, my dear,” said Pony-Q. “That’s what we’re here for. With our help, you’ll reach your full potential in no time.”

“So let’s begin, shall we?” said Human-Q. “First off, let’s try something that I know you’ve already done in the past, though you may not recall it yourself. Okay, my fine pony self and I are going to run away from you, and I want you to catch us.”

Pinkie nodded. “Okay, that doesn’t sound too hard.”

“Both of us,” said Pony-Q, “at the same time, in different directions.”

“Wait… what?” said Pinkie in confusion. “But…?”

“Readysetgo!” said Pony-Q. At that, both he and Human-Q took off, running away from Pinkie. Each of them went in the exact opposite direction from the other. After galloping for several seconds, Pony-Q slowed to a halt and turned back to look at Pinkie, who was still standing where she’d been when they’d started running.

“What are you waiting for, Pinkie?!” shouted Human-Q. “Come on! Catch us!”

Pinkie Pie looked back and forth between the two Qs. “But… I’m just one pony! How am I supposed to catch you both at the same time?”

“Don’t think about it,” said Pony-Q. “Just do it! Like you did all of that other stuff we talked about last night! Once we convince you that you can do it, we’ll work on the how of it later.”

“But I…” said Pinkie, with much frustration in her voice.

“Come on, already!” said Human-Q. “We’re burning daylight here! The Borg could wake up and be on their way at any time now!”

Starting to get angry, Pinkie Pie decided to go after the human variant of Q. On a sheer whim, she decided that he was the slightly more annoying of the two of them, so he’d be the one she tackled first. With surprising speed, even to her, she caught up to him and launched herself at him. He threw up his arms to try to ward her off, but she barreled into him at full speed and knocked him down.

Human-Q grinned up at her as she straddled him. “Hey now, there’s no need to be quite so frisky.” He rose up onto his elbows and tilted his head to look past her. Raising his voice, he yelled, “Good job, Pinkie Pie! I knew you could do it! We’re off to a great start so far!”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened and she jumped off of the human entity beneath her and whirled around. In the distance, at the spot where Pony-Q had been standing but was now lying on the ground, she saw… herself! Another Pinkie Pie was standing there, staring back at her. The shock on the other Pinkie’s face mirrored her own, just as it mirrored that of Rarity and Applejack, both of whom were watching in absolute astonishment. There was a sudden sound not unlike that of a rubber band snapping, and suddenly Pinkie Pie found herself standing back at the point where she had originally started. She looked around and saw that the second Pinkie was gone. And now, she felt the strange sensation of having two sets of memories: one of running after Human-Q and another of going after Pony-Q instead.

“Ooh!” said Pony-Q. “Nice! Teleportation as well! I wasn’t expecting that quite so soon. Then again, I know you’ve already done that before too.”

“Wha… what?” said Pinkie Pie, in a bit of a daze. “I did it? I actually did it?”

“I’m not quite sure what I just saw there, sugar cube,” said Applejack.

“But… it really did look like you just split yourself into two separate ponies and chased them both down, just like they told you to do,” said Rarity. “Astounding…”

“Well,” said Human-Q. “Now that we know for sure that you can teleport, let’s try it again. Okay, you see that apple tree over there? I want you to teleport over to it.”

Pinkie Pie stared at the human. “What? Just like that?” she asked.

“Just like that,” said Pony-Q with a nod. “Again, don’t try to think about it right now. Just do it.”

Pinkie looked at the tree, which had to be at least thirty yards away. She looked back at the Qs, who were just standing there, grinning at her and making annoying shooing motions with their forelimbs. She turned to look at Rarity and Applejack.

“Don’t look at us, darling,” said Rarity. “We have no idea what’s going on here.”

“Probably even less an idea than you do, sugar cube,” said Applejack.

Pinkie turned back to face the tree again. She stared at it. She continued to stare at it. She leaned forward and stared at it as hard as she could. She leaned forward so far that her back legs lifted off the ground and stared so hard that her eyes began to water. And despite that, nothing was happening. She closed her eyes and ground her teeth in frustration. “I told you guys I couldn’t do this!” she said angrily. She opened her eyes again. And then she blinked. The apple tree was directly in front of her nose. She turned around and saw the others standing there, a good thirty or so yards away. Once again, Applejack and Rarity were staring open-mouthed, while the two Qs were dancing some kind of weird little jig together. They soon stopped dancing and beckoned for her to come back. When she started to gallop toward them, they waved their arms to indicate that she stop where she was.

“Don’t run!” yelled Human-Q.

“Teleport!” shouted Pony-Q.

Pinkie sighed deeply. She closed her eyes and did the exact same thing she did before, which, as far as she was concerned, had been absolutely nothing at all. And yet, when she opened her eyes again, there she was, standing right next to her friends.

“If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes…” said Applejack.

“Absolutely amazing…” said Rarity.

“You’re on a roll, Pinkie Pie!” said Human-Q with excitement. “This is going so much better than I could have possibly imagined it would, well at least not with this weak human imagination anyway.”

“All right,” said Pony-Q. “Let’s try something new and different, shall we?”

“What do you want me to try now?” asked Pinkie Pie, a bit hesitantly.

Pony-Q said, “Simple. I want you to try to turn yourself into a human.”

“Ooh, good idea,” said Human-Q. “Transmutation will be useful, definitely.”

Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “WHAT?! You want me to… what?!”

“I don’t believe I stuttered,” said Pony-Q. “I want you to change into a human.”

“But I…” said Pinkie. “What?”

“I’ll say it again,” said Human-Q. “Don’t. Think. About. It. Just. Do. It.”

Pinkie Pie sighed and closed her eyes. She ground her teeth. As the others watched her, she started visibly shaking with effort. A vein popped out on her forehead.

Human-Q crossed his arms. “I don’t know, my good pony fellow. I think you might have given her too difficult a task this time.”

“I have faith in her,” said Pony-Q. “Just wait for it.”

Applejack and Rarity glanced at one another, and then back at Pinkie again. Their friend looked like she might have a heart attack or a stroke at any moment she was straining herself so hard.

“Um, sugar cube…” said Applejack.

“Maybe you shouldn’t…” said Rarity at the same time.

“I CAN’T DO THIS!” screamed Pinkie Pie. She opened her eyes and looked… down… at her pony friends. All four of them were starting at her, wide-eyed and with mouths hanging open.

“I’ll be damned,” said Human-Q. He coughed into a clenched fist and turned his back on her. “You might want to, um, do something about… that, though…”

“About what?” said Pony-Q. He looked Pinkie up and down. “Oh, right. That.”

Pinkie looked down at herself and gasped in shock. She… she was a human! She’d done it! Somehow! And… not only that… not only had she changed herself into a human, but she had changed herself into a completely naked human as well. She noticed that on both of her flanks (‘Do humans even call them flanks like ponies do?’ she wondered) was her cutie mark. Unlike as a pony, where she was pretty much nude all the time by default and not bothered by it in the slightest, for some reason it now really, really embarrassed her, so she tried to cover herself accordingly with her hands. Hands? She had hands now, instead of hooves! Lyra Heartstrings would have been so jealous if the unicorn could have seen her now. She even had feet now, too! Human feet!

“Augh! Help!” she cried. “I’m naked!”

“Just… give yourself some clothes! And please hurry,” said Human-Q, who was doing his level best to fight the disgusting human urge to just turn around and leer at her.

Still trying to cover herself, Pinkie closed her eyes and ground her teeth again, to the point that tears were flowing down her face, partially due to effort and partially due to embarrassment. After a few seconds, without any warning, she suddenly felt some kind of fabric beneath her fingers (fingers!) where there had been nothing but pale skin (human skin!) before. She opened her eyes again and looked down once more. She was now wearing some pink overalls, the same color as what her coat had been as a pony. They were cut off at around mid-thigh. Underneath the overalls, she was wearing a tee-shirt that was the same color as her mane and tail had been, and was in fact, she noted, the same color as the curly hair on her head was even now. Something on the tee-shirt could be seen poking out of the top of the overalls, so she reached up and pulled the flap of the overalls forward slightly. On the tee-shirt was the image of her cutie mark. On her feet, she was wearing long white socks that rose up to about mid-calf, as well as a pair of light and dark pink sneakers. On her left wrist was some sort of device that was making a ticking sound. She held it up in front of her eyes and saw that it was a clock, except that on the face of it was an image of herself as a pony grinning up at her, and with her two pony forelegs acting as hands for the watch. If she was reading it correctly, it indicated that it was now a little past nine o’clock in the morning.

“Darling,” said Rarity admiringly, “that has to be one of the cutest outfits I’ve ever seen, either on a pony or a human.”

“Okay,” said Pony-Q to his human counterpart. “It’s safe to turn around.”

Human-Q did so and looked at Pinkie. “Oh, that’s much better. Though I have to admit that even now the despicable human pervert inside of me is still very glad that you chose to give yourself rather… um… healthy proportions, let’s say. Ugh.”

Pinkie glared at him. “I didn’t choose anything. This is just how I ended up looking! I don’t know how this is happening at all! I… I…” Her human legs suddenly began to buckle and she collapsed into an awkward sitting position on the ground. “I… I don’t know what’s going on! This… all of this is really, really, really frightening.” Without warning, she was suddenly bawling, tears fountaining out of her human eyes in jets to either side of her human face. Her previously curly hair collapsed into lankiness.

“Oh sugar cube…” muttered Applejack, as she and Rarity rushed forward (ducking under the fountains of tears) to try to comfort the crying human who used to be their happy, laughing pony friend.

Human-Q cupped his hand to his mouth and whispered down to his pony counterpart, “I just have to say… if she looked to you as a pony the same way she looks to me now as a human… well… I apparently have much more self-control as a pony than I do as a human.”

“You have no idea,” replied Pony-Q, also in a whisper. “It’s not nearly as effortless as I’m making it seem, either. Seriously, how do you think I felt when, with no warning at all, I found myself as an actual earth pony, rather than merely the simulacrum of an earth pony, and suddenly in the presence of Princess Celestia? Heck, even Luna…”

Human-Q winced in sympathy. “Ooh, yeah, I can imagine. It’s a bit strange, maybe, but I don’t feel anything for Celestia in this human form. Well, at least what I feel isn’t rooted in anything physical anyway, certainly not like what I’m feeling for Pinkie right now. For what it’s worth, I do still feel the same way for Celestia as I did as a full Q, as I’m sure you do as well. For some strange reason, that lack of a physical attraction to Celestia actually fills me with great relief. I know that humans tend to… um, look down on that kind of thing, in most circles anyway.”

“Well, at least for ponies,” said Pony-Q, “being naked is generally a normal state of affairs and not something outlandishly prurient like it is for humans. So I have at least that much going in my favor, since it seems I inherited the same sensibilities. For instance, I can look at Rarity and Applejack right now and feel nothing at all. Well, okay… nothing much anyway. They are rather lovely young fillies, I have to admit. It would probably be different if they were wearing their Gala dresses or something similar, though. *cough* Anyway, I can only imagine how rough it must have been for you a few minutes ago when Pinkie first changed.”

“Yeah,” said Human-Q, thickly. He swallowed hard, and said, “These humans can be rather vile, disgusting little beasts at times, I have to say. I seem to have picked up some of their worse traits in this body. I do hope I’m not stuck as one for much longer.”

Pony-Q watched as Pinkie continued to wail, while her friends awkwardly and ineffectively tried to cheer her up. “We really need to get her back on her feet,” he said, “both figuratively and literally. She’s no good to anyone in this state.”

Human-Q nodded. “I might have just the thing.” He raised his voice and said, “Hey, Pinkie Pie, time for you next lesson.”

“No!” sobbed the pink-haired human. “I just can’t do this! It’s too hard! I’m trying to turn myself back into a pony right now and I can’t even do that!”

“Well, you’re in a sad state of mind right now,” said Pony-Q. “Of course you can’t do anything like that. You need to cheer up!”

“You leave her alone, you brutes!” said Rarity angrily. “The reason she’s even in this state in the first place is because of you!”

“Us?” said Human-Q. “We haven’t done a thing to her except give her guidance. Everything she’s done this morning has been purely her own doing, using her own power. You saw it yourself. Listen, Pinkie, I really think you’ll like this next exercise. You just need to-”

“Didn’t you hear Rarity?” said Applejack, an edge of menace in her voice. “Leave our friend alone!”

Pony-Q shrugged. “Fine, then. If you want the Borg to destroy this world, it’s no skin off our noses. Come along, my human friend. We’re obviously not wanted here.”

Human-Q nodded. “Okay. I suppose we should go start practicing how to say ‘futile’ and ‘irrelevant’ and all that stuff. I’m sure we’ll be saying it a lot, quite soon.”

The two Qs turned and started walking away. They only got a few steps before Pinkie Pie called out to them. “Wait! I… I’ll give it another shot. I may not like this very much, but… I don’t want my friends to suffer just because I’m a big scaredy pony.” She awkwardly rose to her feet and stood facing them. “What do you want me to do?”

Human-Q smiled at her. “Like I said, I really think you’ll like this one. I have just four words for you: cotton candy chocolate rain.” He staggered backward a few steps when Pinkie Pie suddenly teleported to right in front of him. She’d been close enough that her hair, curly once more, had whipped forward and slapped him in the face.

“Really? You’ll teach me how to make them?! Oh boy!” she said happily, her depression of just a few moments ago apparently completely forgotten. She clasped her hands together and started jumping up and down with excitement.

Human-Q clasped a hand over his heart and tried to catch his breath. “Now I know how Jean-Luc and the others must feel when I suddenly drop in on them. I’ll try to keep that in mind for the future. And Pinkie… um, could you please stop hopping around like that. You’re, uh, really distracting me.”

“Okie dokie lokie,” she said cheerfully, though she continued to bounce on the balls of her feet. “Now tell me how to make those chocolate rain clouds! I can’t wait!”

Pony-Q shook his head and sighed. “Pinkie Pie, I was hoping you would have figured it out on your own by now.”

“Figured what out?” she said, tilting her head to the side.

“That you don’t need us to tell you how to do these things,” said Pony-Q. “Or, rather, we have been telling you how to do them all along. Repeat after me: Don’t think about how to do it. Just do it.”

“Don’t think about how to do it. Just do it,” said Pinkie dutifully.

“Right. Now… do it!” said Pony-Q. “Make us some chocolate rain!”

Human-Q muttered, “Yes, please do. I could use a cold shower right about now.”

Pinkie Pie finally stopped bouncing and closed her eyes, her hands still clasped together. This time, hardly more than a few seconds passed before she felt drops of liquid in her hair. She opened her eyes and looked upward. Sure enough, directly above all of them was a huge pink cloud of cotton candy, from which was falling a torrent of chocolate rain. She grinned broadly, closed her eyes again, spread her arms wide to either side of her, tilted her face up further toward the cloud, and just opened her mouth and let the chocolate milk fill it up.

“Well,” said Applejack, coming up behind her friend along with Rarity. “You certainly seem to be gettin’ the hang of this.”

“Whatever ‘this’ is, anyway,” said Rarity.

A burst of light and sound suddenly surrounded Pinkie Pie, similar to that which was the trademark of a Q, except that this one was pink rather than white, and the sound was similar to that of her party cannon going off. When it faded, the human was gone and the pink pony was standing in her place once again. A bit of confetti floated down to the ground around her.

“You know,” said Pinkie, “I think you’re right. I really am starting to get the hang of this.” She glanced at the Qs and said, “I still don’t know if I’m up to the challenge of taking on the Borg, though.”

“Well, I know that Jean-Luc and the Princesses came up with some plans of their own during the night,” said Pony-Q. “I think we should wait and see how those turn out first, and save you as a last resort when all else fails.”

Human-Q nodded. “Yeah, if nothing else, that’ll give you more time to practice your powers so that when the time comes, you’ll hopefully be ready. It should get easier the more you use them.”

“So what do we do now?” asked Pinkie Pie. “I’m a bit tired, to be honest.”

The Qs looked at one another, and then simultaneously shrugged. “That’s up to you, Pinkie,” said Pony-Q. “You’re the one with the powers now. You can do pretty much whatever you want, for the most part.”

“Well, what say we take a break from all of this, for a little while,” said Rarity.

“Yeah, Pinkie,” said Applejack. “Sounds like ya need to recharge yerself.”

“Let’s go visit the princesses,” said Human-Q. “As I said, I know they’ve got a few surprises cooked up for the Borg, but I want to hear the details.”

“Ooh, I do love surprises,” said Pinkie.

“Counselor Troi can be found in Gymnasium Three,” the computer had told Twilight when she’d asked. Now, she was following the guide lights to that destination. As she walked through the corridors of the Enterprise, she smiled distractedly to various crewmembers as they went past. She could feel their eyes still on her as she walked by them, but it didn’t bother her. She was too busying thinking about what she was going to say to Troi about her little dilemma.

“Gymnasium Three,” announced the computer as she arrived at a door in the hallway that looked like any of the other dozens of doors she’d passed on the way here. The purple unicorn took a couple of deep breaths and then approached the door, which opened obligingly when she drew near. Inside the gym, she did indeed see Counselor Troi, but the Betazoid wasn’t alone. Dr. Crusher and Guinan were also present. All three of them seemed to be doing stretching exercises.

“Hello, Twilight,” said Troi, as the unicorn entered the room.

“Er, if I’m disturbing you,” said Twilight, “this can wait until later.”

“Not at all,” said Troi. “Would you care to join us for a little while? We’re getting ready to do some aerobic exercises, but we can extend the warm up for a little longer if you want to join in.”

Twilight looked at the three humans (well, one human, one half-human/half-Betazoid, and one El-Aurian, anyway) in confusion. “Please pardon me for asking,” she said, “but how can you do exercises at a time like this?”

“A time like what?” asked Guinan. “Is there a better time you’d like to suggest? I’m always open to exercise tips.”

“Well, I mean, with the Borg and all…” said Twilight.

Dr. Crusher shrugged and said, “The Borg aren’t here just yet. We’ll be ready when they come. And in the meantime, I see no reason why we should postpone our daily routines just because of them.”

“So,” said Troi again, “care to join us?”

Twilight blushed and said, “Heh, I’m not very good at this sort of thing. I’m not a very… active pony, most of the time. I tend to spend most of my time just reading.”

“All the more reason to join us,” said Guinan. “Wouldn’t you say?”

“Well,” said Twilight hesitantly, “okay. What do I do?”

“For starters,” said Crusher, “let’s try this.” She demonstrated a simple yoga pose for the unicorn.

Twilight nodded and said, “That doesn’t seem too difficult.” As she attempted the exercise, she asked, “By the way, Doctor, how is Granny Smith? I haven’t seen you since yesterday, and haven’t been back to Ponyville since then either.”

Crusher smiled and said, “She’s in tip top condition once again. Her exact words were ‘fit as a fiddle’ I believe. She is remarkably healthy, considering her age. Hold on there, Twilight, that’s not quite right. Here, you need to balance yourself like so.”

For the next few minutes, Troi, Crusher, and Guinan showed Twilight various stretching exercises and some more yoga poses, which they modified on the fly to accommodate Twilight’s pony frame as needed.

“There,” said Troi, “so how are you feeling now?”

“Pretty good, actually,” said the unicorn. “The only real exercise I tend to get back in Ponyville is when I’m running around with my friends on some adventure or another. Well, and there was the time I came in fifth place during the Running of the Leaves marathon, but that’s about it, I guess.”

“And now that you’re in a better mood than you were when you came through that door,” said Guinan, “perhaps we can help you more easily with your problem.”

Twilight had been in the middle of a somewhat complicated yoga pose (for a beginner anyway) and at Guinan’s words, she froze completely and toppled over. She climbed to her feet and regarded the other three. “Er, you know why I’m here already?”

“You came to speak to me about Commander Riker, right?” said Troi.

“Y-yeah,” said Twilight. “Wait, how many already know about this? Even Data knew about it!”

“Well,” noted Dr. Crusher, “if you’ve been trying to keep your feelings for him a secret, you haven’t been doing a very good job of it. Even in the short time I saw you down on the planet yesterday before I left with Big Macintosh, I could tell.”

Guinan said, “And even though I was mostly distracted by Q at the get together yesterday, I still noticed as well. You sat next to him, you ordered the same food as he did, and you made eyes at him about half the time while studiously avoiding looking at him for the other half. And… well, others have noticed as well. It’s been a rather hot topic of conversation in Ten Forward. The only thing that can travel faster than Warp 10, they say, is juicy gossip.”

Twilight sighed, and hung her head. “This is so embarrassing.”

“I apologize. I’m sure you’d like to discuss this with Deanna in private. Would you like us to leave?” asked Guinan, sharing a glance with Dr. Crusher.

“Oh no,” said Twilight. “I couldn’t ask you to do that. And, well, I think I’d like to talk with all of you about it, actually, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,” said Crusher, “we don’t mind.”

“So…” said Twilight, blushing even more than before. “About Mr. Riker… I… I really don’t know what to do about this.”

“What is there to do?” asked Troi. “You have a very strong crush on him. That much is obvious, even to non-empaths. I think you already know what your options are.”

“I do?” asked Twilight.

“Well,” said Crusher. “You can talk to him about it.”

“Or you can choose not to,” said Guinan. “Which of those two options do you think would better ease your mind?”

The unicorn sighed. “I can’t keep it to myself forever. I’ll explode. Probably twice. But I don’t know if I’m ready to actually discuss this with him directly. I’d die of embarrassment as soon as I opened my mouth, I’m sure.”

Troi stopped her exercises and stood up straight. Regarding the purple pony carefully, she said, “Twilight, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to think about this carefully before you respond. What are your overall expectations here? What do you think will happen, in the end, if you do finally work up the courage to speak to Will about this?”

Twilight resumed her previous yoga exercises as she thought about this. After a moment, she sighed and said, “Well… I have to be realistic about it. You guys probably aren’t going to be here for too much longer, even if everything goes well and we stop the Borg. I know that. Assuming he gets his powers back any time soon, Q is going to send you back home again as soon as he gets what he wants, whatever that may be. And… I know that your homes are much too far away to ever visit here again in my lifetime. So, I guess my expectations aren’t really all that high. Besides, while I’m pretty sure he knows how I feel… I mean, everyone else seems to anyway… I don’t have any idea how he might feel about me in return. He’s been super nice to me the whole time, but I don’t know if that’s just out of politeness or… pity or what… Honestly, I think I would have been better off if I’d never felt like this in the first place.” She ended her exercise in a sitting position and just hung her head again.

Troi shared a glance with Crusher and Guinan. “Twilight. Look at me.” When the unicorn finally did so, Troi said, “You can’t help how you feel about someone. There’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.”

“Yeah,” said Twilight. “That’s what Rarity and the others said as well.”

“You have very wise friends,” said Guinan, nodding in a sage manner.

The unicorn smiled wanly and nodded. “Yeah, they’re good friends. More than I deserve sometimes. But… anyway, it’s just so… I don’t even know… what if I talk to him about this and… he doesn’t want to be around me any more after that? Then again, maybe that would be for the best, in the end.” Even as she said it, though, the others could tell that the mere thought of such was tearing her up inside.

“You should tell her, Deanna,” said Crusher to Troi. “About you and Will.”

Troi nodded, and then sighed. “Twilight, I can assure you that Will won’t think any worse of you if you confess your feelings. In fact, I know he won’t. Listen, in the past… Will and I were…”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “You mean… you were his special somepony? Er, I mean… someone?”

“More than that,” said Troi. “We were… are… Imzadi.” At Twilight’s confused expression, she explained, “It’s a Betazoid word. It’s rather difficult to translate, even with the universal translators. The simplest, but by no means complete, meaning of the word is ‘beloved.’”

“You said are,” said Twilight. “Does that mean that you still are…?”

“No,” said Troi. “And… yes. You see, even though we are no longer… together… in that way, we are still very close. There have been several women in Will’s life since we were together, and… more than a few men in my life as well. But, regardless of that, Will and I are still very close friends. This is why I can tell you that, no matter what happens, Will Riker will never hate you, since that is what I sense you fear the most. But, with that said, I do know his heart on this issue, and… well, it will be better for him to tell you himself. I just want you to be prepared.”

Twilight sighed. “Yeah… I kind of expected as much. I guess I really should just go and talk to him. The sooner the better, I suppose.” She looked into Troi’s eyes and smiled. ‘Thank you.” She looked at Crusher and Guinan as well. “All of you. This talk has done me a world of good, I think.”

Suddenly, the red alert klaxons began to blare throughout the room. Captain Picard’s voice came over the communications channels, audible to everyone on the ship. “All hands to battle stations! Repeat, all hands to battle stations!”

“The Borg have impeccable timing,” muttered Guinan. She and the others moved toward the door.

“Wait, where should I go?” asked Twilight. “I don’t have a battle station.”

Troi stopped and said, “Well, if you want, we can beam you back down to the surface before they get here.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, actually, I think I’d like to stay here and help, if that’s all right. Princess Celestia’s advisors are already here and infusing the torpedoes based on the earlier tests I did with Mr. La Forge and Data. But we were looking into something with the ship’s phasers as well. Geordi seemed to think it had a lot of promise. I think I’d like to return there and help out with that.”

Troi said, “Okay. That sounds like a plan.” She slapped her combadge and said, “Troi to Phaser Control. Twilight Sparkle will be joining you there, Lt. Johns. I believe she may be able to help out with the upcoming encounter with the Borg.”

“Understood,” said the voice on the other end. “We’ll be expecting her. She was here earlier and her aid will be most appreciated.”

Troi nodded and said, “There you go. Can you find your way back there?”

“I can just ask the computer if I get lost,” said the purple unicorn, ‘but I think I remember the way.” With that, the two of them followed Dr. Crusher and Guinan, the latter two having already departed on the way to their assigned battle stations.

Battle

Chapter 10 - Battle

“Report, Lieutenant,” said Picard.

A junior officer named Lathrop was manning the tactical station while Worf was down on the surface with several contingents of security officers. It had been determined that if the Enterprise failed to stop the Borg from reaching the planet, which was extremely likely, the security teams on the planet would aid the ponies in resisting the Borg invasion.

Lathrop quickly scanned the tactical panel and said, “They’re definitely on their way, sir. They’re moving at warp nine point eight. At that speed, they will be here in about forty seconds.”

“One minute they’re sitting there essentially asleep,” said Riker, “and the next minute they’re coming at us like a bat out of hell.”

The Captain tapped a button on the armrest of his command chair and said, “Picard to Princess Celestia, do you read me?”

“I do,” came the voice from the other end. “Thank you for letting us borrow these communication devices, especially now that the unpredictable ‘window’ left behind by the Q has disappeared altogether.”

Picard said, “And they will come in handy very shortly, I’m afraid. The Borg are on their way now.”

“Hmm, that’s not the most pleasant news I’ve heard all day,” said Celestia.

“Believe me, I definitely know how you feel,” said the Captain. “I trust that our contingency plans are proceeding apace?”

“We’re as ready as we’ll ever be down here,” said Celestia. “Also, our plans for the Borg ship up there are ready as well. But, as we discussed last night, it will be up to you to get them into the proper position first.”

Picard sighed and said, “If we can get them to focus their attention on us enough to pursue us, then we’ll do our best. We’ll keep this channel clear so that we can contact you at a second’s notice. Be ready.”

“Luna and I are prepared,” said the Princess.

“Very well then,” said Picard. “For now, we’ll try everything we can to keep the Borg away from the planet, but tell both my and your people down there to be ready, because the Borg could start beaming down without warning even so. Picard out.”

“Sir, the Borg ship is within visual range,” said Lt. Lathrop.

“On screen!” said Riker. The view of the planet changed to show the Borg ship dropping out of warp. No matter how many times he saw one, the sight of a Borg cube never failed to send shivers down Riker’s spine. He glanced at Picard, noting that the expression on the captain’s face was entirely inscrutable. There was no telling what exactly was going through his mind at the moment, given the circumstances.

“All right people, the dance begins now,” said Picard after a few seconds of silence. “Ensign Gates, lay in an intercept course to the Borg ship. Lt. Lathrop, arm the phasers and photon torpedoes. For now, however, use our normal ordnance rather than the specially prepared variants. While our normal weapons have any effect at all, we shouldn’t tip our hand too early. Ensign Gates, engage at maximum impulse.”

The starship banked away from the planet and began to move toward the menacing metal cube that was approaching.

“It’s a good thing that Q’s lockout of the helm controls ended when he lost his powers,” noted Troi, who had arrived on the bridge moments earlier.

“Indeed, Counselor,” said Picard. He tapped a sequence of keys into the arm of his command chair and said, “Lt. Lathrop, as soon as we are within weapons range, cut loose with everything you have at the coordinates I just fed you. The target in this case is the Borg’s propulsion system, at least insofar as we can target individual systems on a Borg cube anyway. We need to slow them down as much as possible.”

“Aye, sir,” said Lathrop. “Coming into weapons range… now. Opening fire!”

The distinctive chirp that indicated weapons fire emanated from the tactical console. On the forward view screen, several phaser beams and a tight spread of photon torpedoes could be seen lancing toward the Borg cube. The phaser beams scored deep stretches of blackened metal into the surface of the Borg ship and the torpedoes ate moderate chunks out of their hull as well.

“Damage to the Borg ship,” said Lathrop. “However, their speed has only dropped by eight percent. They will be within transporter range of the planet in twelve seconds!”

Picard said, “Damn! Continue firing, Mr. Lathrop!” He slapped the comm panel on his chair and said, “All hands on the planet surface, prepare for imminent invasion!”

“Listen carefully, everypony!” said Princess Celestia as she stood in front of the arrayed forces of the royal guard and her remaining court mages, with Princess Luna standing at her side. “As we planned, my sister and I will be teleporting the enemy into the valley nearby. However, we will be relying upon all of you to give us the time and space we need to use our magic. Don’t let them get close enough to touch you. Our human friends have warned us that this is how they begin their assimilation process.”

As the princess continued speaking to her guards, the two Qs, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack stood off to the side. They’d only just arrived when news that the Borg were on their way had reached them.

“Pinkie, this could be another opportunity for you to test your powers,” said Pony-Q. “When the Borg begin beaming down, you should try to aid the princesses in their efforts to teleport the drones down into the valley.”

Pinkie nodded. “Okay, I’ll try my best.”

“And don’t ya worry none,” said Applejack. “We won’t let them get close to ya while yer tryin' to help out the princesses.”

“You can count on us,” said Rarity, her horn beginning to glow slightly in anticipation of the coming battle.

“I really wish I had my powers right about now,” muttered Human-Q. “Hell, I’d even settle for one of those horrible little hand phasers.”

“You and me both,” said Pony-Q with a sigh. “It’s a terrible feeling knowing that we’re actually the least useful among the whole bunch here.”

“Just stay out of everypony’s way and that’ll be helpin' plenty,” said Applejack.

Before either Q could say anything in response to that, Princess Celestia suddenly shouted, “Get ready, everypony! They’re coming!”

Before she’d hardly finished speaking, green flashes of light could be seen appearing in various places within the vast hall of the court. Every pony in the room recoiled with revulsion at the sight of the cybernetic abominations that were the Borg drones. Before the drones could do much of anything, however, the princesses worked their magic and enveloped them in glowing yellow light, in Celestia’s case, and swirling purple tendrils of smoke, in Luna’s case. With that, the Borg were gone, on their way down to the waiting ambush in the valley below the mountain. Celestia and Luna launched into the air and flew out of the nearby windows in order to deal with any drones that had appeared outside in the city itself. The royal guards and mages rushed out through the doors to follow them.

“So far so good,” muttered Human-Q, “but there are many more where those came from.” His eyes widened and he screamed, “Pinkie! Look out!”

A green pulse of light had appeared directly behind the pink pony, leaving a Borg drone in its wake. She spun around, but the drone was already advancing toward her. She squeaked in fright and scrambled backward to try to get away from the drone. Before it could do anything to her, however, the drone found itself surrounded in a blue aura of magic and unable to continue forward.

“Urgh!” groaned Rarity as she held the drone in place. “I can’t hold this thing for long!” The drone turned to face the unicorn and raised its prosthetic arm toward her. A spark of energy could be seen dancing along the business end of it.

“Oh no ya don’t!” shouted Applejack. She charged the drone, spun around, and bucked it as hard as she could in the side of its torso. The drone went sprawling to the floor just as a burst of electricity flew from the end of the monstrous appendage, barely missing the white unicorn by scant inches.

“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?!” shouted Pony-Q. “Don’t just sit there! Get rid of that thing before it kills somepony! Or worse!”

Pinkie Pie had been sitting on the floor in shock, watching as her friends did battle with the drone, but at the urging of the burgundy pony, she stood up and her face twisted into an expression of terrible anger. “Nopony tries to hurt my friends and gets away with it!” she shouted.

The Borg drone disappeared in a burst of pink light and the sound of her party cannon being fired. Pinkie blinked. “Wow. That was easier than I expected it to be.”

“What did you do?” asked Rarity as she looked at the spot on the floor where the drone had been. “Did you send it to the valley?”

“Yep, I sent it to the same place the princesses are sending theirs,” said Pinkie. “I just did what they told me to do.” She nodded toward the two Qs.

“Don’t look now,” said Human-Q, “but there are plenty more where that one came from. Actually, no, it would probably be a very good idea if you did look!”

Pinkie spun around to see no less than five more drones nearly on top of her. “Gah!” she said in disgust. “Get away, you big nasties!” And, just like that, five more drones popped out of sight in a pink flash of light. “Ha ha, this is actually kind of fun.”

“Well,” said Applejack, “here come some more, so feel free to have all the fun ya want, sugar cube.”

“Whee!” said Pinkie as she turned to face another dozen or so drones that had beamed down nearby. As she mentally flicked these drones off to join their brethren in the valley below, she said, “All right everypony, just stay near me and don’t let them sneak up behind me. I’ll take care of the rest!” With that, they charged out of the now empty throne room and into Canterlot proper to help the princesses protect the city.

“They’ll be here any second!” shouted Worf. “Get ready!”

He was currently located in a field at the base of the mountain into which Canterlot had been built, a few miles from the outer limits of the city. The railroad tracks that led to and from the city could be seen in the distance. This was also the area in which Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and the others had been practicing earlier.

The plan was that Celestia and Luna would protect the city itself, along with their royal guards and the remaining court mages that hadn’t been beamed up to the Enterprise. Any Borg drones that beamed directly into the city would then, in turn, be teleported by the princesses to this location outside of the city, into the waiting crossfire of the Enterprise security teams as well as the Equestrian weather teams. While there were a few contingents of Starfleet personal stationed in some of the surrounding cities and towns, including Ponyville, the hope was that the Borg would focus most of their initial efforts on Canterlot itself, given that it was the most technologically advanced city on the planet. As such, the bulk of the forces were arrayed around Worf’s position. They intended to hit them with everything they had.

Worf shouldered his Type-III phaser rifle. His weapon, like all of the others, had been modified to randomly alter the emission frequency after each shot. Hopefully, this would allow them to take down several drones before the Borg adapted to their weapons. “As soon as they appear,” he ordered, “open fire with everything you have. Switch your targets quickly and take out as many of them as you can before they are able to adapt.”

Nearby, Rainbow Dash was similarly barking out orders to the weather teams. “Lightning teams, be ready to cut loose as soon as they show their ugly faces. Water team, hold back for now, but be ready to flood the valley on my signal. Everypony, be ready with your tornadoes to take on any that somehow survive the lightning and the flooding.” She looked over at the rest of the pegasus ponies that were hovering next to her. She smiled as Spitfire gave her a wink. Spitfire was there along with Soarin’ and the rest of the Wonderbolts, and they were all prepared to show the Borg that the “bolt” part of their name wasn’t just for show.

A sudden, huge burst of yellow light, accompanied by a swirling vortex of dark purple energy indicated that the battle had been joined in Canterlot, and that the incoming Borg were indeed being redirected by the princesses as planned. Dozens of Borg drones were being dropped into the valley. Worf had never seen so many at one time, save for the few occasions he’d been on board a Borg cube itself. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed that along with the golden and purple colored magic, he was also seeing flashes of pink as well. If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn he was seeing bits of what appeared to be confetti floating down to the ground after these pink flashes. However, he couldn’t let such things distract him at a time like this.

“Attack!” shouted Worf and Rainbow Dash at the same time. The previously quiet valley was suddenly alive with the whine of phaser fire, which was very soon joined by multiple loud cracks of thunder as lightning bolt after lightning bolt slammed down on the Borg drones.

But the Borg just kept on coming. Along with the ones being teleported in by the princesses, Worf also noticed that many drones were now being beamed down to this location directly by the Borg ship itself. Apparently, the Borg realized that the vast majority of the resistance was here, and were trying to stamp them out. Even worse, the phasers were beginning to lose their effectiveness. To Rainbow Dash’s amazement, even the lightning bolts were starting to be absorbed by the personal shields of the drones.

“Lightning teams!” she called out. “Pull back for now! Water teams! Get ready to unleash the flood!”

“Security teams, move to the agreed upon fall-back points!” Worf ordered.

Once everyone except for the slowly advancing Borg drones were out of the way, Rainbow Dash shouted into her headset, “Fluttershy! Now!”

Worf looked into the distance, toward where looming black rainclouds had been present all morning and had been busily filling up a nearby hastily constructed dam with water. He heard a low roaring sound coming from that direction, which was quickly getting louder and louder. And then it was visible. A huge torrent of water was flowing down from the now intentionally busted dam. Above it raced Fluttershy and several other pegasus ponies who were working hard to keep the flood moving in the intended direction. The Borg drones were completely unprepared when the water suddenly bounded a small crest and then crashed down upon them. Hundreds of drones were swept away by the newly formed river.

And yet, the Borg just kept coming.

“All teams, switch to tornadoes!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Mr. Worf, you’d better start getting your people out of here.”

“Acknowledged,” said Worf. He tapped his combadge and said, “Worf to Enterprise. What is the situation up there?”

“We’re hitting them with standard phasers and torpedoes,” answered Riker’s voice, “and they haven’t completely adapted yet, but we’re still not doing much to them and they’re utterly ignoring us. How are things down there?”

“We’ve destroyed hundreds of drones,” said Worf, “but they’re still coming. They’ve adapted to our phasers, as well as to the lightning bolts used by the weather pegasi. Ground teams are going to need evac as soon as possible.”

“Acknowledged,” said Riker. “Prepare for transport. Riker out.”

“All security teams, prepare to beam up,” said Worf. He watched as transporter beams began to grab people and transport them up to the Enterprise, many of them being immediately redirected to join the security teams elsewhere on the planet. As planned, he would be the last one to be transported up. He turned to watch as the pegasus ponies began to use their last trick. Small whirlwinds were being formed as ponies raced around in circles over various Borg drones. As these whirlwinds gained in power, the drones were sucked off of their feet and dragged hundreds of feet up into the sky. Then the whirlwinds were terminated, leaving the drones to crash to the ground. This method of attack was taking them out as effectively as the phaser beams and lightning bolts had been before, at least before the Borg had adapted to those. Worf noted that Rainbow Dash and the ones that she’d introduced as the Wonderbolts were particularly effective with this method, as they were grabbing upwards of a dozen drones at once, each.

“Enterprise to Worf,” came Riker’s voice again. “The Borg have opened fire on the ship. As such, we are unable to continue lowering the shields for transport. On the bright side, it doesn’t look like they’re beaming any more drones down to the surface at this time. It looks like we managed to transport everyone up except for you. I hate to say it, but you’re on your own down there for the time being. Get to cover as well as you can. We’ll try to get you out of there as soon as possible.”

“Acknowledged, Commander,” said Worf. He wasn’t too worried, at least for the time being. What remained of the Borg were still down in the valley, being tossed around by the tornadoes. As he’d expected, it didn’t appear that the Borg were able to easily adapt to the blunt force trauma of being lifted and dropped on their heads.

Suddenly, his entire field of view was filled with nothing but green energy. When the glared died down, he realized he was completely surrounded by yet more Borg drones. He spun around and looked at them as they all started to advance on him. There had to be at least thirty drones in the area around him. Perhaps it was a little going-away present from the Borg before they fully turned their attention to the Enterprise.

“So it takes this many of you to get rid of me, you honorless petaQs?” he muttered. Knowing that his phaser rifle was now useless, he tossed it aside. The Klingon reached down to his boot and drew a d'k tahg that he had sheathed there. “Come then! Today is an excellent day to die!” Before he could charge the nearest Borg drone, however, he heard voices calling out over his headset.

“Rainbow Dash!” shouted Fluttershy. “What are you doing?!”

“Can’t talk now, ‘Shy,” said Dash. “Gotta save Worf.”

“Dash, wait!” shouted another voice that he vaguely recognized as that of the Wonderbolt called Soarin’. He glanced up to see what was going on. Regardless of whatever was happening up in the sky, however, he knew that he only had scant seconds before the Borg reached him.

As soon as she’d seen the Borg appear around Worf, Rainbow Dash knew she’d only have one shot at saving him. She launched herself upward into the air at a breakneck pace and then immediately angled around on a downward approach toward Worf. The now familiar force cone began to build up around her. Trusting that the signal from the headset she was wearing would reach him, since she knew for a fact that she was already moving several times faster than the speed of sound and thus her voice had no chance of reaching him normally, she yelled out, “Hold up your hands, Worf!”

The Klingon acted on instinct and did as she said, dropping his dagger in the process. The pony was little more than a blue blur as she rapidly approached him. As soon as she grabbed him, whatever magic it was that prevented her from being affected by what had to be phenomenal g-forces was apparently extended to him as well, as otherwise his arms would almost assuredly have been ripped from their sockets. Almost instantly afterward, the pegasus and the Klingon were several miles above the ground. Worf looked back down and was astonished by what he saw. At the point where he had been standing mere seconds before was now a rapidly expanding rainbow colored shockwave. In addition to that, a large, similarly rainbow colored mushroom cloud was billowing upward from the point of contact as well, apparently due to the fact that the explosion had occurred so close to the ground. As for the Borg drones… they had all been utterly annihilated by the blast.

“Well,” said Rainbow Dash with a wide grin, “you wanted to see a sonic rainboom? There you go. What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?”

“That,” said Worf in utter amazement, “is a vast understatement.”

“Picard to Phaser Control,” the Captain’s voice emanated from the nearby comm console. “Do you read me, Miss Sparkle?”

“Yes, Captain,” said the purple unicorn.

“We’re going to switch to the magically infused weapons now,” said Picard. “The torpedoes are being loaded and armed. Are you ready to aid with the phasers?”

Twilight nodded to the phaser technicians in the room with her and said, “Yes, sir. Ready when you are.”

“Very good,” said Picard. “Begin immediately. Picard out.”

Twilight took a deep breath and began pouring every bit of magic she had into the phaser capacitors.

Picard gripped the armrests of his chair as the ship shook from another hit from the Borg weaponry. “Well, Number One,” he said, “it looks like we have their attention now.” Riker nodded grimly in response. Picard raised his voice a bit and said, “Mr. Lathrop, let’s try our new phasers. Target the cube dead center and fire a single beam on my mark. Sustain the beam until I say otherwise. Ensign Gates, back the ship away from the cube to the minimal safe distance for our new torpedoes. Mr. Lathrop, fire!”

“Firing, sir,” said Lathrop. The tactical console chirped again.

On the view screen, they saw a single phaser beam leap out of the saucer’s ventral phaser array and make contact with the Borg shields. At first, it seemed normal in that the Borg shields were simply absorbing it as before. However, they saw a thread of purple energy as well, spiraling around and intertwining with the red of the regular phaser beam. As the purple energy hit the green Borg shields, it began to fan out from the point of contact in a web like pattern.

“Sir!” said Lathrop excitedly, “in the areas where the purple energy is coming into contact with the Borg shields, their shields are… dissolving!”

On screen, the phaser beam suddenly lanced through the Borg shields and drilled into the hull.

“Continue firing, Mr. Lathrop!” shouted Picard. “Launch the torpedoes!”

They watched as photon torpedoes every color of the rainbow sailed out and smashed into the Borg ship. Picard assumed that this was due to each torpedo having been prepared by different ponies with different color signatures to their magic, similar to how Twilight’s was purple. While these torpedoes weren’t nearly as powerful as the one that had to be jettisoned during Twilight’s tests earlier, they were still a few hundred times more powerful than standard torpedoes. It was a testament to the toughness of the Borg that the cube wasn’t immediately vaporized.

“Massive damage to the Borg ship, sir,” said Lathrop. “I read at least forty-seven percent of the ship has been damaged.”

“That still won’t be nearly enough to put them away,” said Picard. “Keep firing, Mr. Lathrop. I want-”

“Sir!” said Data from Ops. “The Borg have initiated some sort of feed back loop through the phaser beam! It will reach the ship in 1.2 seconds.”

“Cease phaser fire immediately!” shouted Picard, knowing it was already too late. The ship rocked violently before he had even finished speaking.

“Damage reports coming in, sir,” said Lathrop. “Phaser Control has taken a direct hit, due to the feedback from the Borg ship. All phasers are completely offline.”

“Transporter room!” yelled Riker. “Beam everyone out of Phaser Control and directly to Sickbay.”

Chief O’Brien’s voice sounded over the comm channel. “I can’t, sir. The room is filled with some nasty sort of radiation that is preventing a transporter lock.”

Riker jumped to his feet and looked down at the Captain. Picard nodded, and Riker raced to the turbolift, glancing at Troi as he went by. Troi’s eyes mirrored his own concern. “Emergency teams, meet me at Phaser Control immediately!” he shouted into his combadge.

As the doors closed behind Riker, Picard said, “Ensign Gates, initiate maneuver Celestia Alpha One.”

Commander Riker arrived at the Phaser Control room at the same time as the emergency teams. Dr. Crusher was with them as well.

“Will, I’m reading fires inside the room,” said the doctor. “The suppression systems don’t appear to be working! And that damn radiation is still there as well!”

“Get that door open,” shouted Riker. “Now!”

He stood ready at the door while one of the technicians opened the panel on the wall and pulled down on the manual release lever. As soon as the door opened, they all had to move back as gouts of flame lunged out at them. The technicians opened up with portable fire extinguishers to beat back the fires.

A man stumbled out of the room and collapsed on the ground. “Lt. Johns is dead, sir,” the man struggled to say through heavy coughs. “As for the unicorn… I’m not sure, but she took the initial brunt of the feed back from the Borg ship.”

Riker took another quick look inside the room, raised his arms to cover his face, and then charged inside, completely ignoring Crusher’s shouts for him to come back. Smoke was everywhere and it was very hard to see, but he soon found a purple form lying on the floor a few feet away from the wall containing the access conduit to the main phaser capacitors. He knelt down next to Twilight, folded her legs beneath her, and lifted her up in his arms. Kneeling low as he moved, he rushed back out through the door.

“Dr. Crusher,” he said as he gently laid Twilight on the floor outside of the room. “How is she?”

The doctor ran a tricorder over the unicorn’s body and then shook her head grimly. “She’s alive, but barely. In addition to smoke inhalation, she seems to have gotten the worst of the radiation as well. I need to get her and Ensign Tompkins to Sickbay immediately.”

Riker nodded, and then swayed on his feet. His legs buckled and he dropped to one knee next to Twilight.

“Commander, you took a huge dose of radiation yourself just now,” said Crusher. She slapped her combadge and said, “Chief O’Brien, are we clear with the transporters?”

O’Brien’s voice said, “Yes, doctor. There’s still some residual radiation in the corridor, but I can get a lock on you now.”

“Beam me, Riker, Tompkins, and Twilight Sparkle directly to Sickbay!” said Dr. Crusher urgently.

“The Borg are following us, sir,” said Lathrop.

“Good,” said Picard. “That’s exactly what we want them to do.”

The Enterprise continued to launch multi-colored photon torpedoes at the Borg ship, but without the help of Twilight’s magic along the phaser beams weakening them, the torpedoes exploded harmlessly against the shields, despite their increased yield.

“We are approaching the star, sir,” said Data. “We will be within range in one minute seven seconds.”

“Steady as she goes,” said Picard. “Ensign Gates, initiate maneuver Celestia Beta Two. Engage.”

“Aye, sir,” said Gates, her fingers playing over her control panel. The starship angled down toward the surface of the star, with the Borg cube in close pursuit.

Picard watched as the star loomed ever larger in the view screen. “Ensign Gates, plot a course that will take us away from the star. On my mark, engage at warp nine.” He waited a few more seconds, then tapped the console on his command chair and shouted, “Princess Celestia, now! Ensign Gates, get us out of here!”

The starship surged forward as the warp engines engaged. At the exact same moment, a gargantuan X-Class solar flare erupted from the surface of the star. It completely enveloped the Borg cube.

“Slow to impulse, Ensign,” said Picard. “Bring us around.” He watched the view screen intently. With a sudden intake of breath, he saw it. The Borg cube, or at least what was left of it as it didn’t look much like a cube anymore, exited the still ongoing solar flare and flew in their direction once more, travelling at high warp speed.

Data worked the controls to the sensor array and said, “I am reading approximately seventy-two percent of the ship has been destroyed, but what remains is still coming this way. They are also somehow managing to regenerate their damage, even from such a severe state.”

“Damn it,” said Picard. “I was afraid of this.”

“What do we do now, sir?” asked Troi.

“I… don’t rightly know at this point, Counselor,” said Picard grimly.

Aftermath

Chapter 11 – Aftermath

“Princess Celestia,” Picard’s voice came over the combadge that had been given to her. “I am afraid that our trump card has failed. The Borg ship has somehow survived the solar flare.”

“Amazing,” muttered Luna. “Absolutely unbelievable.”

“What options do we have left?” asked Celestia.

“The Borg have adapted even to the magically modified torpedoes,” said Picard. “And our phasers are completely inoperable for the time being. To be perfectly frank, I am at a loss as to what more we can do now.”

“The phasers are… Wait,” said Celestia, with sudden concern in her voice. “Where is Twilight Sparkle? Is she okay?”

They could hear the deep regret in Picard’s voice as he said, “I am afraid that Miss Sparkle was in the Phaser Control room when it was hit with a Borg weapon. She is currently in critical condition, but Dr. Crusher is doing everything she can to save her life, you can be assured of that at least.”

“Oh… no,” Celestia said breathlessly. She staggered backward a couple steps and sank down onto her throne. “No… no…”

From nearby, Pony-Q said, “Did you hear that, Pinkie Pie?” The two Qs were standing next to Pinkie and the rest of her friends, including Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy who had arrived a few moments ago along with Worf, the Wonderbolts, and the rest of the weather teams that had been stationed in the valley outside of Canterlot.

“Twilight,” said the pink pony with tears in her eyes, real ones this time and not the fountain jets from before. She looked at her friends, all of whom had equally horrified looks on their faces.

Human-Q said, “Now is time for you to take center stage, my dear.”

“But…” said Pinkie, “I told you, I don’t know what to do! How do I stop them? Cotton candy clouds and sudsy floors and exploding chocolate aren’t going to hurt them! Well, okay, that last one might, but I doubt it will be enough.”

Pony-Q shook his head and said, “Pinkie Pie, you have to think grander than that. Think back to my time as Discord. I did much more than use those paltry parlor tricks. But in any case, whatever you end up doing will have to be done quickly. Otherwise, we’ll all soon be assimilated by the Borg.”

“Trust me,” said Human-Q. “The last thing any of you want is to become one with the Collective. It’s terrible. Your will stripped away… your sense of self eroded to nothing… the unified voice of a billion minds echoing in your head with yours joining them… forced to watch as your body is made to commit unspeakable atrocities against your fellow mortal creatures… screaming soundlessly inside your mind forever…”

“That’s enough, Discord!” said Luna. “Cease your fear-mongering.”

“He only speaks the stark reality of the situation,” said Pony-Q. “This isn’t some vague hypothetical here. This is what is going to happen, to all of us, if something isn’t done. And right now, the only one left who can save us is Pinkie Pie here.”

Pinkie was staring blankly ahead as if deep in thought. Suddenly, her entire body started shuddering violently, which lasted for several seconds, then stopped abruptly.

“Ya okay there, sugar cube?” asked Applejack.

“Was that your Pinkie Sense acting up?” asked Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie turned to look at her friends, the Qs, and the princesses. “After listening to them talking about Discord and assimilation and whatever, I just thought of a way to save us all,” she said, “and it’s a real doozy!”

The Qs looked at each other, eyes widening as realization dawned on them as to what she had planned. “No, wait, I didn’t mean-” said Pony-Q.

“Can’t stay to chat,” said Pinkie. “Off to save the world!”

“Pinkie wait!” said Human-Q, but she disappeared in burst of pink light and the sound of her party cannon going off.

“I have a really bad feeling about this,” the two formerly-singular-omnipotent-entities said simultaneously. They watched helplessly as streamers and confetti floated to the ground at the point where the pink pony had been standing before.

“Captain, the Borg ship has come to a halt,” said Data.

Picard furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he muttered to himself. “What are they doing now?”

“Sir, we’re being hailed from the planet,” said Lt. Lathrop.

“Open a channel,” said Picard.

Expecting to hear Princess Celestia’s voice on the other end, he was surprised instead to hear Q’s voice. The voice (Picard was unable to determine whether it belonged to the human or the pony version) said, “Jean-Luc, what’s going on up there? Have the Borg stopped?”

Picard shared a confused look with Counselor Troi then said, “Yes. Yes, they have. Is this your doing, Q?”

“Of course not,” said Q, “or, at least, not directly anyway. I, we, may have unduly influenced dear Pinkie Pie into doing something incredibly stupid, however.”

“What are you talking about,” said Picard. “What’s going on?”

The line was silent for a moment, and then Q said, “I really think you need to beam us up there, Jean-Luc. All of us.”

“Who are ‘all of us’ in this case, Q?” said Picard in exasperation.

“The two of us, obviously,” said Q, “along with Twilight’s friends as well as Celestia and Luna. And your filthy Klingon, of course. He could really use a bath.” Picard could faintly hear Worf’s growling over the comm channel, along with one of the ponies using some rather choice words in reference to various parts of Q’s anatomy.

Picard sighed wearily and said, “Q, put Celestia on.”

“Fine,” said Q, “but it’s not going to help you.”

A moment later, Celestia’s voice came through the comm channel. “I’m sorry, Captain. I have no idea what he’s up to… either of them. However, if what very little they have said is true, I believe that I agree that we should be up there.”

Picard pondered for a bit, and then said, “Very well. We’ll beam you up and then meet in the conference lounge.”

Roughly ten minutes later found all of the command staff, minus Riker and Dr. Crusher who were still in Sickbay, along with all of Twilight’s friends, minus Twilight herself as she was also still in Sickbay, as well as the two Qs and the two Princesses of Equestria sitting in the Enterprise conference lounge just off the bridge.

“Before anything else,” said Princess Celestia, “I’d like to ask about Twilight Sparkle. How is she doing?”

Picard frowned and said, “I’m sorry. Her condition has not changed. She is still critical, and she hasn’t awakened as of yet. As soon as there is any change, Dr. Crusher will let us know immediately.”

Celestia lowered her head and closed her eyes. All of Twilight’s friends had tears in their eyes once again, and even Luna looked on the verge of tearing up herself. Counselor Troi watched them and couldn’t help but begin to feel the rawness of her own eyes, and not only because she was feeling the anguish roiling off of the ponies in waves.

“Oh I’m sure she’ll be fine,” said Human-Q, waving his hand dismissively. “The one you should really be concerned about right now is Pinkie Pie.”

“So you claim,” said Picard. “Perhaps you’ll deign to explain that to us now.”

Pony-Q looked around at the various ponies, humans, Klingon, android, and the rest who were seated at the table. “I’ll just give it to you straight out. I think she has teleported herself to the Borg ship.”

After the chorus of gasps had died down, Data said, “Upon what do you base this hypothesis?”

“Very simple,” said Human-Q. “We were talking briefly about my past encounter with the ponies and also about what happens when you get assimilated by the Borg. And that’s when Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense went nuts.”

“Pinkie Sense?” asked Geordi. “What’s that?”

“Ugh,” said Pony-Q. “We really don’t have time for this right now… Oh, all right, fine. Pinkie Pie is able to foresee the future. She calls it her Pinkie Sense, and it consists of various unusual bodily twitches that she interprets as signs. It was an early manifestation of her Q-like powers, which my human double and I have spent the past several hours trying to foster in her. We mostly succeeded, but even so, I believe that she might have bitten off more than she can chew with this harebrained scheme of hers. She has powers like a Q, but she’s still not as strong as a Q. We just wanted her to try to blow up the Borg ship or something. Not… this.”

“Listen, Picard,” said Human-Q. “You need to mount a rescue operation immediately. If Pinkie Pie gets assimilated into the Borg in her current state, it would be even worse than if either of us were to be assimilated in our current states. At least we don’t have our powers at the moment. …and that’s something that I never thought I’d hear myself say.” Everyone in the room just stared at him in shock.

The voice of Lt. Lathrop suddenly issued from the comm panel. “Captain, we are being hailed by the Borg cube!”

Picard glanced at the others in the room, and then said, “Put it on the screen in here, Lieutenant.”

A short time later, the screen on the nearby wall lit up. It was showing the ominous interior of the Borg cube. Several Borg drones were lined up to either side of the screen. In the distance they saw something that chilled all of them to their bones.

“Too late,” muttered the two Qs simultaneously.

Slowly walking toward the screen was another Borg drone. This one was different from the others, however. For one thing, it was walking on all fours. It was an earth pony. All of the color had been drained from the pony’s coat, leaving it a pale gray color. And the pony’s mane was gone entirely.

“Oh my…” said Rarity softly, closing her eyes and lowering her head.

“Pinkie Pie?” said Rainbow Dash, her tear-filled eyes wide with shock.

The pony drone stopped walking. It was close enough to the recording device now that they could all clearly see that it was indeed the pony that used to be Pinkie Pie.

“What have they done to you, sugar cube…?” muttered Applejack sadly.

“I am… Pinkutus… of Borg,” said the drone. Its voice was definitely that of Pinkie Pie, except that it had a strange synthetic echo to it as well. However, the monotone with which it spoke now couldn’t have been more different from the normal cadences with which the pink pony had spoken. “Resistance… is futile. Your life, as it has been, is over. From this time forward, you will service… us.”

Picard felt a tiny bit of himself die as he heard these words coming out of the mouth of this drone. They were very nearly the exact words that he clearly recalled himself speaking when he had been revealed as Locutus. The silence that followed this statement lasted for several moments. None of them knew quite how to react yet.

The pony drone continued to stare forward at them, the expression on its face completely blank. And then, it did what had to be the absolute last thing that any of them could have expected it to do. It broke into a wide grin and winked at them.

“HAHAHahahahahahaaa…” said the drone. “I had you all going there for a minute, didn’t I?”

“P-pinkie Pie?” said Fluttershy, as completely flabbergasted as the rest of them.

“Yep,” said the drone. “It’s me! I mean, seriously? ‘Pinkutus’? That’s just ridiculous!” As she spoke, her coat regained its original pink color and her curly mane poofed back into existence on her head. “These mean old Borg grabbed me as soon as I appeared on their ship and no matter what I said, they kept responding with a bunch of nonsense about everything being ‘futile’ and ‘irrelevant’ and whatever, so I decided to play along with them for a bit.”

“How…?” said Picard, his mind trying to wrap itself around this but, at least so far, failing miserably. “How is this possible?”

The two Qs were grinning ear to ear. “Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q, “I can’t believe it actually worked! I could just kiss you right now! Right smack on the lips.”

“Um,” said Pinkie Pie, “no thanks. That’s kinda gross. Anyway, the Borg have something they want to say to you, so listen closely.” Pinkie paused as if listening. After several seconds passed, she narrowed her eyes and said, “COME ON! SAY IT!”

“We apologize for being big meanie pantses,” said the combined voice that the Enterprise crew recognized as that of the Borg Collective. “We are very, very sorry for trying to assimilate you. We know it’s wrong and we will never do it again. Cross our hearts and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our eyes.”

“What… the… hay…?” said Applejack, a look of incredulity on her face that matched that of just about everyone else in the room as well.

“Hold on a minute,” said Pinkie. “I can hear the Collective speaking in my head. Right now all they’re saying is ‘GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT’ over and over and over again. That’s not very nice, you guys! Hey, I know what’ll cheer up you Grumpy McGrumpersons.” As she spoke, the view on the screen zoomed out by a factor of about twenty feet or so. Now they could see that there were a dozen or so Borg drones lined up to either side of Pinkie Pie. She walked a few steps forward, and the drones behind her moved up to fill in the place that she had just vacated. Then the drones hooked their arms around the arms of the drones to either side of them and began to move.

It took a moment before those in the conference room could process exactly what it was they were seeing.

“Are they…?” said Worf.

“Dancing…?” said Celestia.

“It appears so,” said Data. “I believe this particular dance is called the can-can.”

“Wait,” said Pinkie Pie. “They’re trying to do something else now… let’s see… oh, boo! The Borg have disconnected this ship from the rest of the Collective and have set it to blow up and take me out with it. How rude!” Indeed, behind the chorus line of Borg drones, explosions could be seen occurring throughout the ship. When the drones that were dancing suddenly started twitching and falling over, Pinkie shrugged with an “Eh, what can you do?” kind of expression on her face. “Well, my new Borg friends,” said the pink pony, turning her back to whatever it was that was currently recording her, “it’s been fun, but I don’t intend to get blown up with you, so I’ll be going now.” With that, she was enveloped in a flash of pink light, accompanied by the sound of what the ponies knew to be her party cannon. Less than a second later, she appeared in the conference room. Now, however, she looked like her normal self, without all the Borg prosthetics attached to her. Bits of streamers and confetti floated down around her.

The view on the screen blinked out and then reconfigured itself to show what was left of the Borg cube. Explosions were jetting out from within the depths of the vessel at all points, and then, finally, after one gigantic fireball consumed the whole thing, the Borg cube was nothing more than scattered debris. Stunned silence was the only reaction in the conference lounge for several moments.

Finally, Human-Q broke the silence. “Pinkie Pie, you did it! I never doubted you for a moment!”

“Says the guy trying to get us to mount a rescue mission just a few minutes ago,” muttered Geordi.

Pony-Q ignored the engineer as he approached the pink pony. “So, Pinkie Pie, how about that kiss, huh? I think you’ve more than earned it.”

Pinkie backed away and held up a front hoof. “Ew! Get away!” she said, sticking out her tongue. “I may think you’re funny sometimes, but I don’t like you that much.”

“Hey, calm down a bit,” said Human-Q to his pony counterpart. “You’re starting to embarrass me.”

The sense of relief and happiness at having actually defeated the Borg hung thick in the room. However, when the comm panel chirped again, those feelings quickly fled, and with good reason.

“Sickbay to Captain Picard,” said Dr. Crusher, her voice sounding strained.

“Picard here. Go ahead, Doctor,” said Picard.

“It’s Twilight Sparkle, sir,” she said. “She has come around, but… well… I’m afraid that there’s nothing more I can do for her. I think she has maybe an hour left, if even that much.”

“May we see her?” asked Celestia, urgently.

“Doctor, Twilight’s friends are currently aboard the ship,” said the Captain.

“Of course they can come see her,” said Crusher. “But… she’s not entirely coherent at the moment, I’m afraid.”

Twilight’s five friend’s rushed out of the conference room as quickly as they could. Celestia and Luna lingered behind briefly. “Captain Picard,” said the Sun Princess, “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for us here.”

Picard held up a hand. “We couldn’t have done it without your help… or without Twilight’s help. I just wish it hadn’t come at such a price. We lost one of our own crewmembers when the Borg attacked the Phaser Control room as well. I suppose we should consider ourselves very lucky that this didn’t turn out far worse than it did, but…”

“…you don’t feel very lucky right now,” Luna finished for him. “I am sorry for your loss, Captain.” She bowed her head to Picard and turned to Celestia. “Come, sister, let us go visit Twilight Sparkle, before it is… too late.”

Twilight’s eyes fluttered open as she heard voices. They sounded like they were at the far end of an underwater tunnel, and she could barely make them out. She weakly moved her eyes around and saw the blurry shapes of her friends, as well as Princess Celestia and Luna standing over her. Even Spike was there. The baby dragon was sitting on the back of the Sun Princess with his arms around her neck with his face half buried in her mane and his large eyes locked onto the purple unicorn. She gave him a weak smile but was distracted when, from off to her left, she heard the voice of Dr. Crusher saying something about radiation, though she couldn’t quite make it out. She turned her head in that direction and noticed another form lying on a bed adjacent to her own. The shock of seeing Will Riker lying there unconscious brought her senses more sharply into focus.

“D-doctor,” she said. Her voice was cracking and her throat felt dry.

“Yes, Twilight?” said the doctor.

“What’s… what’s wrong… with him?” said the unicorn, her eyes fluttering back to Riker’s still form.

“He took a huge dose of radiation from the Borg attack,” said Crusher. “He rushed into that room without a moment of hesitation to get you out of there.”

Twilight felt a tear sliding down her face, despite the dreadful dryness she was experiencing otherwise. “Will he… be… all right?”

“I believe so,” said the doctor. Twilight’s eyes fluttered shut again, so she didn’t see the look of concern on Crusher’s face when the doctor regarded the first officer.

Twilight turned her head back to face the ceiling again. “I’m… glad,” she said, her voice slurring as consciousness started to fade out again, though she fought to stay awake as best as she could. As she listened, she heard one of her friends, Pinkie Pie it sounded like, asking Dr. Crusher something about her condition. She couldn’t follow the whole conversation, but it sounded like Pinkie was trying to tell the doctor something very important. Whatever it was, it wasn’t anything that interested Twilight all that much at the moment. She struggled against the heavy weights that she was sure had to be pressing down on her eyelids and looked over at her mentor. “I’m… sorry, Princess,” she said, her throat tightening and threatening to close up on her entirely at seemingly any moment. “I tried… my best…”

Tears were freely flowing down Celestia’s face as she regarded her most faithful student. “Twilight, your efforts have helped to save us all,” she said. “You have nothing whatsoever to be sorry for.”

Twilight swept her eyes slowly around the room again. All of her friends, even Princess Luna, were staring at her in silence, all eyes heavy with tears. Except for Pinkie Pie, that is, who Twilight could still faintly hear desperately conversing with the doctor. She tried to make out what her friend was saying, but it was all garbled at this point. No matter. Twilight smiled at her friends as she regarded each one of them in turn. None of them seemed to be able to think of the right words to say, but that was okay. They didn’t need to say anything. Twilight knew they loved her, just as she loved each of them. Everything seemed to be getting darker and colder now, despite the fact that the dryness she was feeling was reminiscent of being in the heat of the desert surrounding Appleloosa or Dodge Junction, except much, much worse.

“I feel…” said the unicorn. She swallowed thickly. “Everything feels… so far… away.” She vaguely registered that one of the nearby medical devices that had previously been beeping very slowly was now emitting a steady unbroken tone, though Twilight had no idea what it meant, and didn’t much care. As though it was happening to another pony, the unicorn noticed that Pinkie Pie’s face was suddenly less than an inch away from her own. She felt the warm wetness of Pinkie’s tears as they dropped from the pink pony’s eyes down onto her own face. Pinkie was frantically shouting something about holding on for just a little bit longer, something about how they could still save her. She could vaguely feel her body moving as Pinkie was apparently shaking her roughly, and despite the darkness that was quickly overtaking her, she saw the rest of her friends trying to pull the distraught pink pony away from her. At the same time, Dr. Crusher was barking out orders to nurses that the unicorn couldn’t see and hadn’t even known were there beforehand. None of it seemed important anymore, so Twilight closed her eyes and felt herself slip away entirely.

When Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes again, she found herself standing in what could only be described as bright white light. She could see nothing else at all, regardless of the direction she turned. She did, however, hear hoof beats approaching from somewhere in the distance, though she couldn’t see anything.

“Hello?” she called. “Is somepony there?” Finally, from the direction of the hoof steps, she could see the silhouette of a pony approaching her. From what little she could make out, the pony was white. “Princess Celestia?”

As the pony approached, it reached up with one of its front hooves and slid back the cowl that had been covering its head. A relatively dark flash of pink contrasted with the pure whiteness that surrounded them both otherwise.

“Nope,” said Pinkie Pie. “It’s just me.”

“Pinkie?” said Twilight in confusion. “What are you doing here? For that matter, where is ‘here’ anyway? What’s going on? The last thing I remember was lying in the Sickbay bed and…” Her eyes suddenly went wide. “…oh no. Am I… dead?”

“Not quite,” said Pinkie, “but it was a very, very close thing. Luckily, I was able to catch you here before you… crossed over.” She lowered her head and Twilight could see tears glistening in the bright light as they trickled down Pinkie’s face. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you when we were so close to saving you, so I decided to do something about it. That’s why I’m here.”

“But… how are you here?” said Twilight. “Wherever this is?”

“That’ll take some explaining,” said the pink pony, raising her head again to look at her friend, smiling through her tears. “It’s all good, though. We’ll have plenty of time later, but right now, I need to get you back to your body.”

“Back… to my body?” asked Twilight. “What do you mean? I’m right here!”

“In a sense, yes,” said Pinkie. “However, it’s only your soul that’s here. Your body is still lying on that bed back in Sickbay. By the time we get back, Dr. Crusher will have flushed all that nasty radiation out of your system, so you’ll hopefully feel a whole lot better than you did before you… departed.”

“But Pinkie… none of this makes any sense!” said Twilight, utterly confused. “I mean, what is this place, really? How did I get here? And why are you wearing that white robe?” She had a hundred more questions, but there seemed to be something pulling at her from behind. Her eyes widened as Pinkie Pie moved away from her. Or, more accurately, as she moved away from Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, what’s happening?!”

“Relax, Twilight,” said the distance voice of the pink earth pony. “You’re just going home, that’s all. It’s not your time to leave us just yet.”

Twilight’s consciousness was engulfed by the light.

When Twilight opened her eyes this time, she was once again in the… well… not exactly familiar surroundings of the Sickbay, but it was still better than… better than what? She tried to remember where she had just been, but all she could recall was bright light. There was the vague impression that she hadn’t been alone, but the details had already slipped away like a dream. She shook her head and blinked her eyes a few times.

“How are you feeling?” asked Dr. Crusher. She had a relieved smile on her face.

“Like I could drink ten whole barrels of apple cider all at once,” said the purple pony, her voice sounding incredibly raspy in her own ears. “Or failing that just put a big trough full of water in front of me and I’ll still be happy.” Hearing soft laughter at this, she turned her head from the doctor and saw her friends, all of whom were still gathered around her. Their eyes were still filled with tears, but these seemed to be tears of joy rather than sorrow. While her head was turned, Dr. Crusher pressed a hypospray against her throat.

“That should help with the thirst,” said the doctor. “I don’t think you’re ready to ingest actual liquids right now, though, no matter how you may feel at the moment.”

“Well, you’re the doctor,” said Twilight. “And… I do feel a bit better now, thank you.” The doctor nodded to her and turned to Riker. Twilight turned back to her friends once again.

“Welcome back, my most faithful student,” said Princess Celestia warmly.

Twilight blinked a few more times and said, “Back? Did I go somewhere? I thought I’d just dozed off for a bit.” She raised an eyebrow at the laughter again, though she got the impression that they were laughing out of relief more so than due to what she was saying actually being all that humorous.

“You’re a very lucky pony, you know?” said a voice to her left. She turned her head again and, with the now familiar blush creeping up her cheeks, looked into the eyes of Will Riker. “Or, I guess I should say we’re both lucky, in this case.”

“Huh?” said Twilight.

“If it wasn’t for your pink friend there,” said Riker, “I think both of us might have been out of luck altogether.”

Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie, who was favoring her with one of the biggest grins Twilight had ever seen on the pink pony’s face. “What’s he talking about?” She shifted her eyes to her other friends, then back to Riker, and then to Dr. Crusher.

“Pinkie Pie gave me the means to treat the radiation sickness that was, until just a few moments ago, running rampant through your body,” said the doctor. “Before that, I’d tried every treatment I knew, but nothing was working. The radiation itself was also unlike anything I’d ever seen before. Due to her brief time as a Borg, however, Pinkie was able to tell me what I needed to do to properly help you, thanks to her connection to the Collective. They may find healing to be irrelevant, but they still have very detailed knowledge about the weapons they use. We thought we’d lost you, even so, but… something happened. I can’t explain it, but you just… woke up again. Pinkie Pie says that she was able to catch you before you left, but I don’t think any of us are quite sure what she means by that.” The doctor gave the grinning pink pony a sidelong glance.

Twilight’s eyes widened as she regarded her pink friend again. “Uh… run that by me again?” she said in confusion. “And what was that about you being a Borg?”

“Well,” said Pinkie, “I told you we’d have plenty of time to explain everything later, and now it’s later!” With that, Pinkie began telling Twilight about everything that had happened down on the planet after the purple unicorn had beamed up to the Enterprise that morning, pausing briefly to let the others fill in the blanks about the battle in Canterlot and the valley, and then finishing up with how the Borg had met their defeat, and how Twilight herself had been saved from her close encounter with death. Pinkie Pie glossed over what exactly had happened in the brief moments between when Twilight had almost died and her subsequent reawakening, however.

“Wow,” said Twilight. After a moment, the unicorn couldn’t think of anything else to say, so she just said “Wow,” again. She raised an eyebrow briefly at the feeling of déjà vu she got at that, but then, completely out of nowhere, she opened her mouth and let out one of the biggest yawns of her life. Blushing in embarrassment, she grinned sheepishly and said, “Uh, sorry about that.”

“I think that means visiting hours are almost over,” said Dr. Crusher. She began to lightly shoo the ponies out of Sickbay. “She still needs rest, and it’s pretty late as it is, anyway, so how about we call it a night for now. I’ll let you visit again first thing in the morning. If you’d like to remain on the ship, we will be happy to assign you some temporary quarters nearby.”

Twilight basked in the warm and loving looks she received from her friends as they filed out of the room. “Rest well, Twilight Sparkle,” said Princess Luna from the doorway. “I will make sure you have only the happiest of dreams this night.”

“Get some sleep, my student,” said Celestia, being the last to leave, just behind the Princess of the Night. “We’ll be back first thing, don’t you worry.”

“I really hope you feel better soon, Twilight,” said Spike, still riding on the back of the Sun Princess and burying the side of his face in her mane.

Finally, after everypony had left the room, Twilight sighed. She turned her eyes back to Riker. “I know this might not be the best time for it,” she said, “but I… I think we need to talk. And given my recent brush with death… well, I feel like I want to do it sooner rather than later.”

Riker smiled and said, “Yeah. I can understand that.” He turned to look at Dr. Crusher, who was still hovering over them. “Doctor, if you don’t mind, I believe Twilight and I could use a bit of privacy right now.”

Crusher smirked and said, “Running me out of my own Sickbay, are you? Well, okay, Tompkins is in a different room and Nurse Ogawa is seeing to the administering of the radiation antidote to him, so there’s nobody here but the three of us at the moment. I think I should go check on him for a little while.” She regarded the two of them for a moment, then added, “Don’t stay up too late, though. I wasn’t kidding when I said that you need rest. That goes for you too, Commander. Contact me immediately if either of you need anything.” With that, Crusher left the room, dimming the lights and also locking the door as she left to make sure nobody else wandered in.

Twilight gazed into Riker’s eyes, strangely not wanting to immediately look away in embarrassment for once. Still, the blush in her cheeks was almost painful in its intensity as she cleared her throat. “So…” she said hesitantly.

“So…” echoed Riker, smiling in a friendly manner.

After a not entirely awkward bit of silence, Twilight said, “I… hear that you saved my life in the Phaser Control room.”

Riker nodded and said, “I suppose I did. Well, I was just doing what I would have done for anyone, really.”

“Really,” said Twilight. “And why exactly were you there, and not on the bridge? I read quite a bit in the library you conjured up for me in the holodeck. One of those things was standard operating procedure on the ship.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Riker, shaking his head in wry amusement. “That sounds like terribly dry reading,”

“Be that as it may,” said the unicorn, “I learned that it is usually standard procedure for the first officer to be on the bridge of his ship while it’s in the middle of an attack from hostile forces.”

“Well,” said Riker, coughing slightly and attributing it to the residual dryness that was still affecting him, “Captain Picard allows us some leeway when it comes to such stodgy regulations.”

“I see,” said Twilight. “And so, upon exercising that leeway, you just happened to be in the neighborhood of the Phaser Control room shortly after it was hit by the Borg attack. Just in the right place at the right time, I guess?”

“I suppose I was,” said Riker, speaking with mock-surprise. “Huh.”

Twilight just gazed into his eyes, letting the warmth spread from her face to the rest of her being. “T-thank you,” she said, at last. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for teasing you just now. I wouldn’t have dared dream of such a thing even just this morning, but now I feel… a bit calmer and more at peace, as if I’ve gained a new perspective somehow. It might have something to do with almost dying. I guess I should stop trying to put this off though. I should be upfront about it.”

“About what?” said Riker, with a teasing smile of his own.

“I think you know already,” said the unicorn. “But I’ll go ahead and say it straight out. I still don’t think I’ve fully accepted it myself yet, even now.” She took a deep breath. “I… have feelings for you. A crush, as everyone else who apparently knew about it even before I did myself has called it repeatedly. And I… I don’t quite know what to do about it. It’s kind of driving me crazy, just a little bit. I just feel like I needed to at least tell you or I’d explode. But… I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, really.” She said the last in a bit of a rush, as though steeling herself for the inevitable, but also with the slightest hint of hope tinged in her voice.

“Twilight,” said Riker. He paused to try to think of what he needed to say and how to phrase it in as painless a way as possible. “You’re a very lovely young woman. I have grown very fond of you over the past few days we’ve known one another. But…” He winced slightly at the look that came over the pony’s face as he said that word. “…I have to be honest with you, as it would be a grave disservice to you otherwise. I… like you, as a friend, a good friend, but unfortunately I don’t feel quite the same way about you as you do for me.”

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Turning herself to face the ceiling, she nodded slowly and opened her eyes again. “I think I knew all along that that’s what you were going to say,” said Twilight. “And… I think I needed to hear it as well.”

“Are you okay?” asked the first officer. “Believe me when I say that it is not my intent to hurt you, but… well… I know how these things are. Sometimes we still manage to hurt our friends even when we have the best of intentions.”

Twilight didn’t answer for a long while. She sighed again and then turned back to face Riker. “It does hurt and more than a little, but I think I’ll survive. More than that however, I think I’m more relieved that you don’t… hate me, and aren’t… I don’t know… disgusted by the very idea. You know, since you’re a human, and I’m a pony.”

Riker smiled and shook his head. “That has nothing to do with it. Sure, in humanity’s not too distant past, having relationships with those who are different from us was unfortunately frowned upon, even if it was just between humans of different skin colors. And, well… given that ponies on my homeworld aren’t sapient creatures, things like that are still very much discouraged even today, and rightly so. However, between sapient creatures such as us, I personally see no problem with such a thing, despite our differences. In fact, I’ve heard of such things blooming between creatures that are not physically compatible with one another… by any stretch of the imagination.”

“What do you mean?” asked Twilight, not quite sure if she actually wanted to hear the answer, but still curious even so.

“Well,” said Riker. “I once heard a rather incredible story of a relationship between a medusan and a horta. It’s one of the damnedest things I’ve ever heard, to be honest. Medusans are a telepathic race, and make fine navigators, but their physical appearance is such that most humanoids literally cannot even look at them without going mad and even dying. A horta is a silicon-based life form and is essentially like a living glob of lava. They eat rocks and move through them the same way we move through the air, using an acid secreted from their bodies which makes them harmful to touch. And, from what I’ve been told, the two of them were madly in love. Don’t ask me how they made their relationship work, but I hear they were together for around eighty years or so. So, yeah, a potential relationship between a human and a pony doesn’t seem all that strange now, does it?”

“I… I guess not,” said Twilight.

“Well, it’s something to keep in mind if you happen across another human in the future who catches your fancy,” said Riker. “As I said, Twilight, pony or not, you’re a very beautiful girl, and not just in how you look but in your personality as well. I’m sure that one day you’ll find a young man who will make you very happy. Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say young stallion?”

Twilight blushed and said, “I hope so. But… I’ll never forget you, even so.”

“You never forget your first love,” said Riker, a bit wistfully. He had a far away look in his eyes as he said this.

Twilight watched him for a bit and then said, “Tell me about her. If you don’t mind, I mean.” She brought her front hooves close to her chest to get as comfortable as she could on the Sickbay bed.

Riker rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling, propping his hands behind his head. “I was still a teenager, not long in Starfleet Academy when I first met her. She was a Russian ballet dancer, and I…”

Despite Dr. Crusher’s admonitions that they get some rest, the two of them still talked long into the night.

Truth

Chapter 12 - Truth

“Argh,” groaned Human-Q as he placed his fists in the small of his back and leaned backward to try to stretch out the kinks. “ARGH!” he shouted as he both heard and felt something pop. “Great, now my back is hurting again. Pony beds are bliss compared to these terrible Starfleet beds. Augh.”

“Don’t I know it,” muttered Pony-Q groggily from his position on the floor of the quarters he was sharing with his human counterpart. At some point during the night, the earth pony had simply decided that sleeping on the floor was a better idea. “I think they intentionally gave us the absolute worst room on the ship.”

“I have to agree,” said Human-Q. “I think I might have preferred even the brig to this.” He sighed wearily. “Well, anyway, what do we do now? The Borg are gone, so I guess that means we beat Q at her own game, at least for now. What’s next?”

“Be careful,” said Pony-Q. “She might be listening to us. Don’t tempt her to send another planet-eating doomsday machine after us.”

“Oh,” said a disembodied voice within the room, “what I plan to do to you now is so much worse than that.”

“Uh oh,” said the Qs simultaneously. Without warning, they both disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

When they reappeared, they found themselves once again in the court of Canterlot. They soon noticed that all of the ponies on the ship (along with Spike) as well as Captain Picard and Commander Riker had been teleported down as well. As for Picard and Riker, they had both been caught in varying states of dress. Picard was wearing an open nightshirt (which he quickly fastened shut) and a pair of shorts, while Riker was still wearing a Sickbay gown. Neither of them had their combadges with them and thus had no way to contact the ship.

“You cheated!” said the tall female Q, who was seated upon Princess Celestia’s throne. “You shouldn’t have been able to defeat the Borg in your current state!”

“Oh come on, Q,” said Human-Q. “We won, fair and square. You never said we couldn’t teach Pinkie Pie about her latent powers!”

“Yeah,” said Pony-Q. “Don’t be a big baby like Trelane and throw a temper tantrum on us now.”

The female Q stood up and advanced on them. “You watch your tone, both of you. Don’t forget that you have no powers to speak of at the moment, while I do.” She held up a hand and both of the Qs began to writhe around as though in immense pain. A second later, she dropped her hand and they collapsed to the floor.

“Ow!” said Human-Q, trying to catch his breath before rising to his feet again.

“Is that what ponies say as well?” said Pony-Q. “Ow? Close enough. Ow!”

“You leave them alone, right now!” said Pinkie Pie, teleporting herself into a position between the two former Qs and the female Q.

The female Q regarded the pink pony with a highly amused expression on her face. “Oh?” she said haughtily. “So you think to challenge a Q directly? You really believe yourself that powerful?”

“Uh, Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q. “You might want to stay out of this.”

“Yeah,” said Human-Q. “You may be good, but you’re not a Q.”

“I’m not scared of this bully!” said Pinkie Pie angrily. She looked the female Q square in the eyes. “It’s because of you that those nasty Borg showed up and tried to wreck everything!” She started advancing on the female Q. Despite her arrogance, the female entity found herself backing away from the pony nonetheless. “It’s because of you that one of their crewmembers was killed!” In a burst of pink light and party cannon sound, the pink pony turned into the pink-haired human she had been the previous day, wearing the same outfit as before. “And it’s because of you that my dear friend Twilight Sparkle got hurt and almost died!” The female Q bumped into the throne and involuntarily sat down again, leaving the human Pinkie Pie to glare down at her. “If you think I’m going to just let that go, you’ve got another think coming!”

“Get away from me!” shouted the female Q and swiftly raised her hand. Pinkie Pie was suddenly blasted clear across the room, where she smashed into the wall, hard enough to leave an indentation in the stone.

“Pinkie Pie!” shouted several voices at once.

The pink-haired human stood up, shook the dust and plaster out of her hair, and glared at the female Q. “Oh, that does it! It’s on, now!” She charged at her opponent, and after a couple of steps, she teleported the rest of the way. The female Q suddenly disappeared from sight as well, completely engulfed in a large cloud of dust. Inexplicably, various small items began to fly out of the cloud before vanishing in the air a second or two later, such as smaller puffs of cloud, blinking stars, lightning bolts, balloons, streamers and confetti, and even, crazily, multi-colored written words like “Blammo!” or “Kapow!” or “Zowie!” Eventually, even the larger dust cloud itself began to ricochet around the room, causing everyone else to have to dodge or duck as it flew by.

“Oh dear,” muttered Human-Q.

“This… may not end well for Pinkie,” said Pony-Q uncertainly.

“Psst,” said a voice from behind them. The two Qs turned and saw Pony-Q2 standing there with a huge grin on his face. “Don’t worry. I got this. I’m giving your pink friend the teensiest of teensy nudges that she needs to ensure that she comes out on top. Q has had something like this coming to her for a long time now. And believe me I wouldn’t want to miss it for anything.” He conjured himself up a big tub of popcorn as he watched. He held it out to the two Qs.

“Thanks,” said Human-Q, grabbing a handful. “But what about the Continuum? Doesn’t she still have them on her side?”

“Eh, don’t concern yourself with them,” said Pony-Q2. “I’ve convinced them that Q had overstepped herself, especially after you guys legitimately defeated the Borg in a most surprising and unorthodox manner. Brilliant plan that, by the way, teaching Pinkie about her innate powers and all. Some in the Continuum aren’t too awfully happy about that, mind you, but screw ‘em. Anyway, for now, they’ve decided that Q is just being a sore loser now, and they’re no longer going to be a party to any of this. That just leaves us.” The gray pony winced as he watched the dust cloud which was still careening around the room. “Oooh, that one’s going to leave a mark. Right in the face, too.”

The female Q flew head first out of the dust cloud, smashed into the ground, skidded several feet, and then slammed into the wall similarly to how Pinkie had earlier. However, she didn’t regain her feet nearly as quickly as Pinkie had. The dust cloud continued to bang around for several more seconds before Pinkie realized that the fight was actually over. Finally, it came to a rest next to the three other Qs. The cloud faded away, leaving the pink pony behind. Apparently she had transformed back into being a pony again at some point during the fight.

“How?!” said the female Q, getting unsteadily to her feet. Her hair was in disarray and she had a large, puffy black eye. She touched it gingerly, winced, and then held her palm flat over it for a second. When she removed her hand, her face looked normal once more. “How are you able to withstand my power?!” She finally laid eyes upon the gray earth pony. “Oh, I should have known you would be involved in this!” She held out a hand toward him as though about to launch some sort of new attack, but Pony-Q2 held up a hoof.

“Ah ah ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said. “You don’t have the backing of the Continuum anymore as I warned would be the case if you overplayed your hand. Even so, you admittedly probably would have defeated Pinkie Pie eventually, had I not leant a hoof, and a fight between you and me has straight fifty-fifty odds and could go either way. However, do you think you could defeat us both together? I can assure you that’s what it would come down to. It’s up to you if you want to try your luck.” He glanced over at Pinkie, who was glaring at the female Q and baring her teeth menacingly.

The female Q considered it for a moment, and then lowered her hand. “Fine,” she said angrily. “Have it your way.” She turned to Human- and Pony-Q and said, “But mark my words: I will be watching you. At the first sign of any more funny business out of you, be it here or anywhere else in the universe, I will be back.” She glared at them for a few moments longer, and then finally disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

“Glad that’s over with,” said Pony-Q2, shaking his head. He turned to face the other two Qs. “Oh, by the way, now that she’s finally gone, I have a little something for you two. Brohoof!” The gray earth pony held forward one of his front hooves.

The two Qs looked at one another, grinned, and held out their own hoof/fist and touched them to Pony-Q2’s. As soon as they did, they felt their powers returned, and with it, their direct combination back into a singular being. The two Qs, now one again, shared a look.

“I think this calls for a celebration, don’t you?” said Human-Q.

“I was thinking the exact same thing,” said Pony-Q, “but I think this requires something much grander than a simple mariachi band this time.”

“Couldn’t possibly agree more,” said Human-Q. He snapped his fingers. From somewhere outside, everyone heard two short drum rolls, followed by what sounded like a hundred bagpipes playing at once, as “The Green Hills of Tyrol” / “The Battle is O’er” floated through the open windows and into the royal court. Looking through the windows, they all saw a large pony band out in the courtyard, each of them looking identical to Pony-Q, except that they were wearing Scottish military parade regalia.

“Perfect,” said Pony-Q.

Human-Q sighed and looked down at his pony self. “You know, it’s just not the same now that we both share one mind again. I’m going to kind of miss the company, honestly. Well, I’ll see everyone up on the ship.” With that, he disappeared in a burst of light and sound, leaving Pony-Q and Pony-Q2 behind.

“Yeah,” said Pony-Q, shaking his head a bit ruefully. “It’s more than a bit strange being whole again. Don’t get me wrong, of course, I wouldn’t want to give up my powers for it again… but I think I might just have to work on trying to split my actual consciousness at some point in the future, perhaps into even more than just two separate entities. It’s a rather novel experience.”

“I wouldn’t know,” said Pony-Q2 with a shrug. “I’m perfectly content as a single entity, myself.” He looked around one last time and said, “Well, Q, looks like it all turned out well in the end after all. Perhaps now you can finally...” he raised his voice so that everyone in the room could hear him “…get around to telling everypony what you really have planned here.” He lowered his voice to a whisper meant only for Pony-Q and added, “Even though I’m still waiting to learn what that is, myself.” The gray pony grinned and winked at the burgundy pony, and disappeared in a burst of light and sound.

“Well thanks a lot, you ass,” muttered the burgundy pony.

“Don’t mention it,” Q2’s voice whispered in the air. “I’ll be watching.”

Outside, the pony band moved on to “Bonnie Lass o’ Fyvie.”

Pony-Q sighed and looked around at the eleven pairs of eyes, all of which were staring directly at him. “All right, all right,” he said, with a sigh. “All of you gather around, and I’ll finally let you in on what I was about to tell the Princesses before Q showed up and almost ruined everything. It’s story-time with uncle Q. But first…” He looked at Picard and Riker. “You two really aren’t dressed appropriately for mixed company such as this.” He tapped a hoof on the floor and, with the familiar burst of light and sound, the two humans were wearing Starfleet uniforms.

Picard immediately tapped his combadge and said, “Picard to Enterprise.”

“Captain,” said Data’s voice from the other end. “We have been trying to establish a transporter lock on you and Commander Riker for the past several minutes now, but something has been jamming us. Are you all right, sir? Dr. Crusher was particularly concerned when two of her patients mysteriously disappeared from Sickbay.”

Picard glanced at Riker, who in turn looked at Twilight Sparkle. When she nodded, indicating that she was feeling okay, Riker turned back to Picard and said, “We’re fine, sir, for the moment at least.”

Picard nodded in return and said, “Mr. Data, we’ll be remaining on the surface for the time being, so you have the bridge until we return.”

“Aye sir,” said Data.

“Keep trying to establish a transporter lock but stand by and wait for my signal otherwise,” said the Captain. “Picard out.”

Pony-Q shifted his gaze between Picard and Riker with a somewhat annoyed “Are you done now?” expression on his face, and then said, “So, anyway, here is what you’ve all been waiting for: the absolute, pure, unvarnished truth. Once you’ve heard what I have to say, however, you’ll hopefully realize that I’ve been straight with you from the beginning, just as I’ve been saying all along.”

Riker crossed his arms over his chest and said, “All right, Q. We’re listening, though I find it hard to believe that you’re suddenly willing to just spill the beans, given how coy you’ve otherwise been up to this point.”

Pony-Q rolled his eyes, but otherwise ignored him completely. “As I was saying, by now, you’ve all heard of the pony legends about humans having visited this world in the past, I’m sure. Well, I’m here to tell you that all of those stories are true, after a fashion. It involves some temporal and dimensional mechanics that I don’t care to go into at the moment, but there was indeed a direct link between this world and Earth. Well, to be more accurate, it was not this particular world. The link was between the Earth of this universe and a version of this world that exists in an alternate universe.”

“Alternate universe?” asked Princess Celestia. “What do you mean?”

Pony-Q turned to the Enterprise officers and said, “Tell me, are you familiar with the incident at the Halkan homeworld? It occurred a little over a hundred years ago.”

Picard nodded. “Yes. It’s not common knowledge, but all starship command officers have been briefed on the matter, in case such a thing ever happens again. The incident you refer to involved the original NCC-1701 Enterprise. During an ion storm, Captain James Kirk and his away team attempted to beam back up to their ship. Something happened, however, and they were temporarily transported into another universe entirely, and their counterparts from that universe were transported into ours.”

Pony-Q nodded. “That’s correct. The details of that particular incident aren’t important, however. All I wanted was for you to confirm the existence of alternate universes. So, as I was saying, there was a direct link between Earth and an alternate version of this planet here. Or perhaps I should say alternate versions, plural, though only one such world has, or at least had, the direct link to Earth. Ponies still exist on these worlds even now, though they are somewhat different than what you are here. In some worlds, there exist other types of ponies in addition to the ones you know, such as sea ponies or flutter ponies or breezies. In some worlds, there exists nothing but earth ponies. In most of these worlds, there even exist counterparts to you guys, in fact.” He looked at Rarity. “On one such world, for instance, you are the young Rainbow Princess, but you don’t much care for doing princess-y things and would rather be out playing or adventuring. Shocking, I know. You are advised by Cheerilee, who is a unicorn on this particular world. However, on another very similar world, Cheerilee is an earth pony, just as she is here. And on that world, she is Scootaloo’s elder sister.”

“Scoots is Cheerilee’s sister, huh?” said Rainbow Dash. “Weird.”

“Your own sister is there as well,” Pony-Q said, still speaking to Rarity, “though of course the two of you aren’t actually sisters there. She’s pretty good at baking sweets and such for her friends, or so I hear.”

“Huh. Are they actually edible, these sweets?” asked Rarity. “As good as she may have gotten at dress-making, her cooking still leaves much to be desired.”

“Yes, I’m sure your sister will be glad to learn that at least one version of her is capable of making toast without reducing it to molten sludge,” said Pony-Q. “Maybe you could use it as motivation for her to improve herself. So, let’s see? Who else? Ah yes, Pinkie Pie. You’re on these worlds as well. Your counterparts there actually aren’t all that different from the way you are here. You love parties just the same on all worlds.”

“Well, that’s good to hear!” said Pinkie with a smile.

“They’re a bit less hyper than you are here, of course, but even so… and, hmm, perhaps there’s another similarity between you as well,” said the once again omnipotent entity. “Where you have your Pinkie Sense, one of your doubles has something called her Pinkie Squink. It’s some weird elaborate ritual that allows her to visually manifest what she’s thinking for others to see, which she apparently uses for day-planning and other such mundane things. In any case, it’s evidence that this Pinkie Pie likely possesses powers similar to your own.”

“Wow,” said Pinkie. “You think it’s possible for me to meet her some day?”

“That’s up to you,” said Pony-Q with a shrug. “Now that you seem to have mostly mastered your own powers, pretty much anything is possible. Dimension hopping certainly isn’t a difficult task for a Q, anyway, so I wouldn’t expect you’d find it much harder. Who else… who else… Ah!” He turned to Rainbow Dash, and flashed a wide, toothy grin that made the pegasus feel slightly uncomfortable. “And you are there as well, my dear.”

Dash nodded, still a bit unsettled by the entity’s grin, but trying not to show it. “Of course I am. I bet I’m just as cool there as I am here, right? Sure I am, no doubt!”

Pony-Q’s grin got even wider and he narrowed his eyes. “If by ‘cool’ you mean that you are a prim and proper fashionista earth pony that would almost put even Rarity here to shame, then yes. Yes, you are. How positively dashing you are, darling!”

“What?!” said Dash, her eyes widening in disbelief.

“‘Rainbow Dash always dresses in style’,” sang Pony-Q. “I think that’s how your bit of the song goes, anyway. Anyway, darling, it involves some really dashing technobabble, but there are actually two subtly different versions of you, one of which resides in the universe with the unicorn Cheerilee and one with the earth pony Cheerilee. However, both of them are strikingly similar dashing darlings of rainbows and fashion and… Ugh, yeah, okay, I’ll stop there. Needless to say, neither one of them cares the slightest bit about speed or athletics or winning or anything like that. Well… I guess I’ll be fair. One of your namesakes did win that one foot race at alternate Scootaloo’s sports party, which is about as shockingly impressive as Twilight Sparkle coming in fifth place in the Running of the Leaves marathon.”

“That’s… that’s not true!” shouted Dash. “You’re just making all of this up, right? Right?! Quit horsing around!”

“Oh, c’mon, sugar cube,” said Applejack, trying to suppress a snicker. “Don’t get so bent out of shape. It ain’t like it’s actually you he’s talkin’ about, ya know.”

“Ahaha, and that brings me to you, dear Applejack,” said Pony-Q, turning his toothy grin upon the orange earth pony. “You exist on some of these worlds as well, one of which is the one that has the direct connection to Earth that I speak of. And such a silly pony you are on that world.”

Applejack lost her grin and turned to face Pony-Q. “What did you just say?”

“Oh no, I’m not singing your song,” said the burgundy pony. “Let’s just say that your counterpart is… er, not known for using her horse sense.” This time, it was Rainbow’s turn to laugh at her friend, and she didn’t even make the slightest effort to suppress it.

Pony-Q let the pegasus get it out of her system, and then continued, “All of you have counterparts on these other worlds, in spirit at least, if not in name. To be charitable, Rainbow Dash, you’re much more akin to a pegasus named Firefly, from the same world that the version of Applejack I mentioned comes from, than you are your actual namesakes on the other worlds. Fluttershy, though you do have a namesake on some of the other worlds, you’re most similar in nature to an earth pony name Posey, again from the same world as Applejack and Firefly, though there is another pony named Sweetheart who lives in the earth pony-only universe with whom you also share many similarities. Pinkie Pie, though your namesake is already fairly similar, you share even more similarities with a pegasus named, appropriately enough, Surprise, who is from the portal world as well. And there are, of course, more than a few ponies named Twilight in the various worlds, some of whom are unicorns. And as for Spike…” Pony-Q regarded the dragon. “You’re special in that there is a version of you on almost all of the worlds, and all of them are dragons, just like you.”

“Really?” said Spike, looking at Pony-Q in awe.

“Indeed,” said the burgundy pony. “For one, there is Master Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike, a dragon of over a thousand years in age who was awakened into the world of Princess Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Darling… oops, I mean Dash. And, of course, you all know the story of baby Spike, who was rescued by Megan from the Dark Lord Tirek, along with the transformed monster Scorpan, and the ponies that had been captured by Tirek, one of whom was the Applejack I mentioned before.”

“Discord,” said Princess Luna, more than a bit impatiently, “all of this is very interesting, I’m sure, but what does this idle trivia have to do with your purpose here?”

Pony-Q sighed and said, “You always were a kill-joy, Luna, you know that? I bet you’re just jealous that there isn’t a direct analogue to you on any of these other worlds.” He lowered his voice and muttered, “Unless you count Tirek himself, of course.”

“Care to repeat that?” said Luna, narrowing her eyes and flaring her nostrils.

“Nothing,” said Pony-Q, bestowing his wide toothy grin on the Night Princess. “Nothing at all. But… you’re right, I suppose. I’m getting distracted with having a bit of fun with your little ponies. Anyway, my general, overall point is that there are indeed alternate universes in which exist worlds similar to this one. And, again, on one such world there was a direct link to the planet Earth of this very universe.”

“And what about on our end?” said Riker. “Aside from the legends, there is no actual proof that what you are saying has any basis in truth.”

“Oh, the proof is there, Riker. You’re just not looking in the right places,” said Pony-Q. “Besides, in the particular instance I’m talking about here, the link was only active for a short time during your late 20th Century, and only a very small number of people on Earth ever knew about it then, and they never told anyone else about it. Also, the humans spent much more time in Ponyland than the ponies did on Earth. So, as I mentioned just moments ago, you all know the legends of the great warrior named Megan, and how she came to Ponyland on multiple occasions and performed heroic feats such as helping to defeat Tirek, Grogar, Arabus and such. Well, the truth of the matter is that Megan Williams was a simple, thirteen year old farm girl who lived on Earth, in a place called Iowa. In fact, here’s a bit of trivia that you natives of Earth might find interesting. The ranch on which she lived is on the very same land that eventually became the birthplace of your famed James Tiberius Kirk.”

“Hold on just a minute,” said Twilight. “I’m confused here. You say that our legends all happened in alternate universes, right? If that’s the case, then how is it that we have those legends here, on this world?”

Pony-Q sighed. “As I said, this all involves complex temporal and spatial technobabble that I really don’t want to get into right now. Suffice it to say that in the past there has been some… bleed through, for lack of a better term, between the various universes, including this one, and similar to what happened with Captain Kirk at the Halkan homeworld. This is how the legends transferred from world to world. For that matter, they also have vague myths of a draconequus called Discord on their worlds as well as legends of Night Mare Moon, though these don’t have quite as… immediate an impact on them as they do on you, of course. It’s much the same as how, on this world, the stories of Lavan or the Smooze are just that: simple stories. In any case, the portal has been opened at other times in the ancient past of Earth, which is how their own myths about the Pegasus and unicorns and dragons and such came to be.

“Anyway,” said Pony-Q, slowly turning in a circle so as to look at each of the members of his audience, “to cut an already too long story as short as possible, my goal here and now is for that wormhole to be opened anew. I want a direct link to be established between your world here and the homeworld of the humans. Of course, you can see why I temporarily abandoned these plans once the Borg started poking around in the vicinity, I’m sure.”

Picard and Riker shared a look. “Let me get this straight,” said Picard. “You’re saying that it is possible to open a wormhole of some sort that will directly link Earth and this planet? And you’re saying that this is why you brought us here?”

“That is correct, Jean-Luc,” said Pony-Q. “As I’ve been saying all along, all I wanted was to establish a connection between you and the ponies.”

Picard shook his head. “And why, pray tell, would you expect us to want to allow this to happen? No offense intended against you ponies, mind you, but having a direct link between Earth and an almost entirely unexplored sector of the galaxy is madness. Not even counting the Borg, who knows what sort of threats lay out here? If we open this portal of yours, they would have an open door into the very heart of the Federation.”

Pony-Q raised an eyebrow. “Who knows what sort of threats are here, you ask? I know. And I can assure you that there are none. This is a remote star system on the very edge of the galaxy. The next nearest star system is dozens of light years away from here. The next nearest inhabited star system is farther away than that. The next nearest inhabited system with a civilization actually capable of space travel is even farther still. There are no big threats in this neck of the galaxy.”

“What about the Borg?” asked Riker. “They know of the existence of this world now. It’s certain that they will be back someday.”

Pony-Q shook his head and waved a hoof dismissively. “I’ve already taken care of that. As soon as I got my powers back, one of the very first things I did was to erase all knowledge of this world as well as that of their lost ship from the memories of the Collective. The nearest Borg vessel is thousands of light years away from here. The possibility of them stumbling upon this world on their own accord again by chance is very remote. As such, you don’t have to worry about a Borg cube suddenly arriving at Earth through the portal either. In fact, I’ll do you one better. I will personally deter any Borg ships that wander too close to here.”

Picard raised an eyebrow and said, “Well, that’s… very generous of you, Q. Still, what about threats to this world from our end? There may not be any threats on this end, or so you claim, but there are plenty of hostile powers on our end. You would risk this world being exposed to that?”

“You have so little confidence in your own abilities, Jean-Luc?” said Pony-Q mockingly. “Okay, I’ll tell you what. If this portal is opened, and then afterward you manage to foul things up so horribly that Earth is conquered by the Romulans or the Cardassians or the Dominion or, heavens forbid, another Borg invasion or whatever else, then I give you my solemn word that I will close down the portal myself before anything gets through to here. Mind you, I won’t help you prevent Earth from being conquered to begin with, should such a thing ever occur. I’m not that generous.”

“Wait… the Dominion?” asked Riker. “What’s that?”

Pony-Q raised an eyebrow and a mysterious little smile played across his face. “Oh, that’s right. You don’t know about the Dominion yet, do you? Curse me and my non-temporally linear thinking, I suppose. Well, I don’t want to spoil anything as you’ll find out about them soon enough. You don’t have to worry about them interfering with this world, however, since they’re clear on the other side of the galaxy from here. Well, that’s assuming you don’t end up getting conquered by them, of course, but I’ve already said I’ll take care of things if it comes to that. Hopefully I won’t need to. I’ll just give you a little hint about the Dominion: keep an eye on the planet Bajor.”

Picard decided to file away these cryptic comments for now and to instead focus on the issue at hand. “I still don’t know about this, Q” he said hesitantly.

“Oh?” said the entity. “Well, how about I sweeten the pot for you a bit more? I’ll let you in on a little secret: I never planned to send you back to Federation space using my own power. Is that enough of an incentive for you, Jean-Luc? You have three choices to you now. One, you can stay here from now on. I’m sure you’d eventually be able to make lives for yourselves on this world, and I’d bet the ponies would be glad to have you as neighbors. Two, you can travel back to Federation space under your own power, which we already know will take you almost thirty years. How old are you now, Jean-Luc? Mid-sixties? You’ll be almost a hundred years old by the time you make it back home, assuming you even live that long. Or three, you can open this portal and fly your ship through it. You’ll arrive at Earth within seconds. While the portal will be low enough in the atmosphere for pegasi to fly through it with no problem, as in the old stories, it also extends high enough above the planet to allow easy passage for starships.”

Picard and Riker shared another look, and then simply stared at Q in silence.

“Think of the opportunities, Jean-Luc,” said Pony-Q. “You could send a fleet of science vessels through, or even build a starbase or three in the area. This whole sector of the galaxy would be open to you for exploration.”

“Ahem,” said Princess Celestia. “Excuse me, but do we get to have any say in this matter?”

“Well, of course you do, dear Princess Celestia,” said Pony-Q. He ignored her obvious irritation at his use of that pet name for her. “Especially given that the portal won’t be opened at all without your cooperation. I’m certainly not going to open it for you, after all, even though it would be child’s play for me to do so. If I were going to open it myself, I wouldn’t have bothered with bringing the Enterprise here at all.”

“Wait, you want us to open this portal?” asked Twilight.

“You six there are the only ones who can open it,” said Pony-Q. “Well, aside from me, obviously. You and your Elements of Harmony, or more importantly the Rainbow of Light generated by them, are the key to unlocking the door.”

“But how do we know where this thing even is?” asked Applejack. “You want us to just shoot the Elements off into the sky at random and hope we hit somethin’?”

“Of course not,” said Pony-Q. “That would be ridiculous. You have no way of finding this portal on your own, and I’m not going to tell you where it is either. That is where the good people of the Enterprise come in. They can find it for you.”

“How so?” said Riker.

“A simple search for verteron and chroniton particles in the atmosphere above the planet should suffice,” said Pony-Q. “Find the highest concentration and combination of those, and you’ve found the wormhole. And then, Twilight and her friends can use the Elements of Harmony to open it up. Anyway, like I said, I’m just the catalyst. I brought you together, and now it’s up to you. I hope the time that you’ve spent together over the past few days has shown that you both have much you can learn from one another. Anyway, I’ll be leaving you for now to decide what you want to do. I’ll be back when you’ve made your decision. I hope I won’t be disappointed. Ciao, for now.”

“Q, wait!” said Pinkie Pie, but the entity had already disappeared. “Aw, I had something else I needed to ask him about. Darn it. Oh well… I guess it can wait.”

Picard turned to face the ponies, Celestia and Luna in particular. “Well, it looks like we have a lot to discuss once more.”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed it does,” she said. “What do we do now? Do we open this portal or not? Whatever we decide to do here will have lasting implications for both of our worlds.”

Twilight’s eyes flicked over to Riker for the briefest moment as she said, “Well, this is admittedly a bit selfish, but… I’d really like to see what their world is like.”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “You’ve gotten to see ours after all, so it’s only fair that we also get to see yours.”

“I don’t know,” said Applejack. “I’m mean, I’m curious as the next pony and all, but this’ll mean a major change in our way of life if there’s a sudden rush of humans and others from their side of the galaxy. I ain’t necessarily sayin’ that’s a bad thing or nothin’, but… you know. This is a big deal, and we should give it the appropriate weight. It ain’t like it’s just gonna be a quick peek and that’s all.”

“You have a point, Applejack,” said Rarity. “But even so, just think about it. You could be the first pony to sell zap apple jam to an entirely new market. And this would open a whole new world for me and Carousel Boutique.”

“This is about more than just our profit margins, Rarity,” said the orange pony.

“I am well aware of that, Applejack,” said Rarity. “I’m just stating some possibilities. That’s all. Still, like I said, you do have a good point as well.”

“I think the most important thing,” said Fluttershy, “is that opening this portal will allow our friends to go home. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if I were trapped in their world with no way to ever get back to Ponyville and see my friends ever again. It’s so sad.”

“Fluttershy,” said Picard, not unkindly, “you mustn’t let our plight unduly influence your decision. This is much bigger than just us.”

“But it’s not just our decision,” said the yellow pegasus. “It’s yours as well. Even if we do decide that we want to open this door, we won’t be able to without you.”

Picard shook his head and said, “There’s also our Prime Directive to consider.”

Twilight cleared her throat and said, “No disrespect intended, Captain, but I believe that train has already long since left the station. As I understand it, your Prime Directive is intended to prevent undue contamination of a culture with advanced technology and concepts from your own before it is ready to handle it. Now, I will admit that what I’ve seen of your ship is indeed very impressive, it really is. However, given my own studies, I know that some of the things that drive your technology are things that magical scholars on this world have also been studying for centuries now. Take antimatter, for example. As I was telling Geordi and Data yesterday, magical scholars have been studying the theory behind this for a long while now.”

“This is true,” said Princess Luna with a nod. “It was one of the many side projects of Starswirl the Bearded. Just think, if Starswirl had focused his studies on that subject, instead of amniomorphism, it’s entirely possible that we could have achieved space travel ourselves thousands of years ago. For want of a nail…”

“Also,” said Twilight, “my study of your phasers and photon torpedoes was rather extensive, even in the short time I had to do so, and there have been concepts and ideas percolating in the back of my mind ever since, and I’m not just talking about weapons either. So… I’d have to say that it’s a bit late to be worrying about ‘contaminating’ us with your technology, unless you intend to wipe my memories of what I have learned, which I know is well within your abilities.” Both Picard and Riker looked horrified by this suggestion, which made Twilight feel a bit more confident as she continued, “And while our own technology may not be quite as advanced as yours, I think you’ll find that our magic more than makes up for that in many ways. And, lastly, who is to say that we haven’t ‘contaminated’ you with your newfound knowledge of magic and magically enhanced technology?”

Riker flashed Twilight a grin and turned to Picard. “Well, she’s got us there, sir.” Glancing back at Twilight, he said, “You’re not planning to build a bunch of torpedoes, are you?” Twilight simply smirked, rolled her eyes, and shook her head in response.

Picard nodded. “Very well, then. I still have reservations about this, and in any other case, I would forward this to Starfleet Command and the Federation Council to let them make a final decision, but that’s obviously not in my power to do now, at least not unless we’re prepared to wait half a century for a response, anyway. As such, I suppose the decision shall have to fall to me. Starfleet and the Federation may very well disagree with any decision that I make here, of course, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. And my decision is that, on the whole, the positives to be gained by opening the wormhole would indeed far outweigh any negatives. Would you agree with this assessment, Princess Celestia?”

The Sun Princess nodded. “Yes, I would. However, Equestria is only one of several nations on this world. I would need to consult with the leaders of the other countries before making such a monumental decision. I will send missives via dragon fire to their leaders to inform them of this. With that said, however, they do generally tend to follow my lead in matters of great importance such as this. It shouldn’t take too long to get a response back from them, one way or the other.”

“In the meantime, I will have the Enterprise begin searching for the location of the portal,” said Picard. “It may take a while to scan the entire planet, so that will give you time to send your correspondence to the other nations. Oh, by the way, Princess, I would like to take this opportunity to formally request that my people be allowed to take some long overdue shore leave here in your lovely nation.”

Celestia smiled gracefully and said, “After everything you have done for us, we would be delighted to host your people here. Feel free to have them visit at their earliest convenience. They shall receive only the best that Equestria has to offer.”

“I thank you on behalf of my crew,” said the Captain, nodding and reaching for his combadge. “I will inform them immediately.”

Loose Ends

Chapter 13 – Loose Ends

“I ain’t too sure about this, Dash,” said Applejack. She looked down at the white karate gi she was wearing, along with the white belt around her waist. Her hat was hanging on a nearby tree branch, though she wished it was on her head and that the gi was the thing hanging on the branch.

“Aw come on, AJ, it’ll be fun,” said Rainbow Dash, who was wearing her own gi as well. She glanced over at Worf, who was standing nearby in his own mok’bara gi with his hands clasped behind his back. An hour or two had passed since Picard had announced shore leave, and Worf had lost little time in contacting Rainbow Dash, who had, in turn, somehow managed to convince Applejack to get involved as well.

“Well, I ain’t ever needed any fancy trainin’ to hold my own in a fight before,” said Applejack. “Don’t really see why I should start now. I’ve been plenty fine with good ol’ Bucky McGillycuddy and Kicks McGee here.” She lifted each of her hind legs as she called them by name.

“So you say,” said Dash appraisingly. “All right, then, let’s see. Buck me.”

“What?” said Applejack. “Did I hear that right? Ya want me to buck ya?”

“You heard me. Buck me as hard as you can,” said Dash. “Right in the face.”

“Yer crazy, ya know that?” said the orange earth pony. “Are ya that anxious for another visit from that fancy doctor of theirs?” She nodded her head in Worf’s direction.

“Maybe I am,” said Rainbow with a confident smirk on her face. “So let’s see it, if you think you’ve got it. I’m standing right here. Give me your best shot.”

“Well, I don’t know what yer tryin’ to pull,” said Applejack, “but ya asked for it.” With a speed that impressed Worf, the orange pony flipped around, raised her back end off the ground, and lashed out with her hind legs. However, he was fully aware of how this was going to end as soon as Dash had started taunting, and he was right. “Ow!” hissed Applejack, who suddenly found herself planted face down in the dirt.

Rainbow Dash was putting her full weight down on Applejack’s lower back and was holding one of her back legs in a way that was bending it at an awkward angle. Dash was only applying enough pressure to make the hold a bit uncomfortable, but the earth pony knew if the pegasus applied just a bit more force, her leg would snap like a twig.

“All right,” said Applejack gruffly. “Ya made yer point. Now let me up.”

“Two things I observed,” said Worf, as he watched the blue pegasus jump to her feet and then help the orange pony up as well. “First, unless your opponent just happens to already be behind you, you leave yourself wide open while you’re getting into position to deliver your kicks. And second, it is very difficult to keep your opponent in view when you’re facing away from them like that. As you saw, despite your impressive speed, you still gave Rainbow Dash plenty of opportunity to counter your attack.”

Applejack looked a bit embarrassed. “Well, okay, I guess maybe I could use a bit of spit and polish after all.” She turned to Dash and said, a bit petulantly, “But I thought ya were gonna be trainin’ Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and maybe Sweetie Belle if the other two can convince her. I still ain’t too sure how ya’ll managed to rope me into all this anyway.”

“Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are still in school right now,” said Dash. “I’ll get to them when they’re free. I just thought the more the merrier, you know? I might even ask Big Mac if he wants to give it a try later, as well. But… look, AJ, if you really don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.”

Applejack looked at her friend and said, “Well, I don’t know…”

“I can understand if it’s too difficult for you,” said Dash, affecting an innocent tone of voice. “There’s no shame in giving up. Some ponies just aren’t cut out for this sort of thing. I totally get that.”

The orange earth pony’s eyes narrowed. “Ya’ll sayin’ I ain’t got what it takes to keep up with ya, is that it?”

The blue pegasus grinned devilishly. “I don’t know, AJ. That’s up to you. Do you think you have what it takes?”

Applejack mirrored Dash’s grin. “’Course I got what it takes. However…” She turned to Worf. “I think I’d rather train with him. I much more liked the look of your routine from the other day. What’d ya call it again?”

“Mok’bara,” said the Klingon.

“Mok’bara,” repeated Applejack. “It seemed more… down-to-earth than all that fancy high-flying stuff that you were doin’, Dash.” She expected Rainbow Dash to take offense at this and was mildly surprised when the blue pony instead got a contemplative look on her face.

“You know, Worf,” said Rainbow, “I actually wouldn’t mind doing a few of those exercises with you myself. It can’t hurt to know more than one discipline, after all.”

Worf smiled and said, “Yes, I will be glad to teach you. We should have plenty of time for me to at least train you in the basics, anyway. It takes years to fully master, of course. But then, once we open the portal back to the Federation, there’s nothing stopping you from seeking out the teachings of a true master of the art. For that matter, there are many other martial art styles to be learned as well, if you care to try. Even just on Earth, there are other forms such as aikido or judo, or you could seek out a Vulcan teacher of Suus Mahna, among many others.”

“Awesome!” said Dash. “I’ll definitely keep it in mind.” She glanced at Applejack. “Well, there’s no time like the present, I guess. What do you say?”

“I’m more than ready, if you guys are,” said Applejack.

“Very good,” said Worf, “then let us begin.”

“So, Data,” said Geordi, as the two of them strolled through Ponyville, “now that we’re down here, where’s this unicorn of yours? I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

“I am uncertain,” said Data. “Perhaps we should ask around.” He shifted the box that he was carrying to his other arm.

“That’s as good an idea as any,” said the chief engineer. “Let’s ask that pony over there. She appears to be a mail carrier, so maybe she can point us in the right direction. Hey! Hey, miss!” He hurried in her direction, as it appeared that she was about to take flight and leave, having just delivered some mail.

The gray pegasus paused and turned to face them. “Are you talking to me?” she asked. “I didn’t lose something again, did I?” She began looking around behind her, checking to see if there was any mail on the ground.

“I do not believe so,” said Data. “Your name is Derpy, is it not? I recall seeing you at the party from a few days ago. You were one of the ponies delivering the food.”

“Yeah, I’m Derpy, and… I’m sorry I almost dropped it,” said the pegasus, hanging her head low. “They always tell me I need to be more careful, and I try, I really do, but things just slip sometimes.” She stopped speaking and stared at them expectantly, as if waiting for them to say something.

“Is there a problem?” asked Data, after a couple seconds of awkward silence.

“Aren’t you going to say something about them?” asked Derpy.

“About what?” said Geordi, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

“My eyes, of course,” said the pony, a hint of frustration and sadness in her voice.

Geordi raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Derpy sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just that a lot of new ponies make fun of my eyes when they first meet me, or at least make some insensitive comments about them. Even if they don’t mean to hurt my feelings, they still do. I try to stay cheerful, but I get really tired of it sometimes, you know? Just because my eyes look like this doesn’t mean I’m crazy or stupid. So… I just thought I’d go ahead and get it out of the way just this once by bringing it up myself. Get it over and done with and move on to better things.”

“I still don’t understand,” said Geordi. “Do you have any idea, Data?”

“I believe she is referring to her strabismus condition,” said Data.

“Ohhh,” said Geordi, frowning slightly. “I get it now.” He looked down at the gray pegasus. “Derpy, I never would have known if you hadn’t mentioned it. My VISOR doesn’t allow me to see such details. And, trust me, maybe aside from Data here, I’m the very last person who would make fun of someone because of an eye condition.”

“Huh?” said the gray pony. “How come?”

“Well… I’m completely blind myself, Derpy,” said Geordi.

Derpy’s jaw dropped. “You’re… blind? Wha…?”

Geordi pointed to the VISOR on his face and said, “You see this? This is what allows me to see. Without it…” He reached up and removed the device to show her his own, purely white eyes. “…I’m not able to see a thing.” He held down the VISOR for a moment, and then returned it to his eyes.

“Oh… oh, I’m so sorry,” said Derpy, completely abashed. “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay,” said Geordi. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I know what it’s like to be teased because of something you can’t do anything about, and I know how frustrating it can get sometimes. I’m Geordi, by the way, and this is my friend, Data. Anyway, we just wanted to ask you for some help.”

“Well, anything you want, just ask!” said Derpy, feeling suddenly cheerful. “I’m your pony! That was my last delivery, so I’m free for the rest of the day, at least until Dinky gets home from school anyway.”

“Thank you, Derpy,” said Data. “Do you happen to know where we could find a unicorn named Lyra Heartstrings? I have something to give to her.”

“Oh yeah, I know where she lives,” said Derpy, nodding enthusiastically. “Her home is on my delivery route, and I was just there a few minutes ago. She lives with Bon Bon, and it’s not too far from here. I can take you there if you want!”

“Lead the way,” said Geordi, motioning with his hand.

They followed the gray pegasus for a while and soon arrived at what Geordi assumed was their destination. He was proven correct when Derpy trotted up to the door and knocked on it. A few seconds later, the door was opened by a cream colored pony with blue/pink hair.

“Oh hello, Derpy,” said the pony. “I didn’t expect to see you again today. Did you forget to deliver something?”

“Hi again, Bon Bon,” said Derpy. “Nah, I didn’t forget anything this time. I’m just here to help these guys out. They’re looking for Lyra.”

Bon Bon’s eyes widened when she noticed the human and android. “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll tell her you’re here right away.” She turned and cupped one of her front hooves to her mouth. “Lyra! You have visitors!”

“Be right there!” was the response from somewhere within the house. Another few seconds later and the green unicorn appeared at the door. When she noticed Data, and especially when she noticed the box he was carrying, she broke into a grin. “Is that what I think it is?” she said excitedly. “Oh, but where are my manners? Come in, come in! You too, Derpy, if you’re free.”

The three visitors followed Lyra and Bon Bon into the living room of the house. Lyra flopped down on the sofa in what, to Geordi, seemed like a rather human-like sitting position, which looked pretty odd for a pony. Bon Bon just rolled her eyes and took a seat next to the unicorn. She sat in a more pony-like fashion.

Lyra gestured to the other free chairs nearby and said, “Have a seat.” After everyone was seated, she looked at Data. “I can’t tell you how excited I am right now!”

Data nodded and said, “Yes, that is evident from your demeanor.” He placed the box on the table in front of the unicorn.

She quickly opened it up and gasped in amazement. “Wow! They’re even more awesome than I thought they would be! You even matched them to the color of my coat and everything!”

“As you requested, they have been designed to work with your magic,” said Data. “However, some testing and minor adjustments may be needed, as I am obviously not very familiar with the intricacies of unicorn magic, aside from what I have observed from similar magic-powered technology.”

“Oh boy,” said Lyra. She lifted one of the hands out of the box with her telekinesis and fitted it onto the end of one hoof. Her horn continued to glow as she flexed the fingers tentatively. Then, a wide grin plastered on her face, she used the hand she was already wearing to reach into the box and grasp the second hand, which she placed on her other hoof. “This is so cool!” she squealed happily.

“I’m sorry,” said Bon Bon, looking at the hands dubiously, “but that has to be the creepiest thing I have ever seen. Still…” She smiled at the unicorn. “…I’m happy for you, Lyra. I know you’ve been dreaming of something like this for a long time.”

“Yeah, this is one of the best days ever,” said Lyra. She jumped up from the sofa and stood upright on her hind legs. “I never thought the day would come when- ack!” She overbalanced and started to fall forward. As she fell, she held out the hands in front of her and automatically opened them so that the palms were facing downward, which she used to catch herself on the table. “So cool!” she said again, grinning up at the others. She pushed herself upright again, but this time she overbalanced in the other direction and ended up in a sitting position on the couch again. “Heh heh, I guess I should have asked you for some human feet as well,” she said. “Ponies just aren’t made for standing upright like that.”

“Hey, I know!” said Derpy. “You should take some lessons with Rainbow Dash! She can teach you how to stand up on your hind legs.”

Lyra turned to face the gray pegasus and asked, “What sort of lessons?”

“She’s trying to start up some karate classes,” said Derpy. “You should have seen her! She was standing upright just like you were just now, but she was doing all these crazy punches and kicks and cool poses and stuff. When I was delivering her mail one day a couple of weeks ago, she offered to teach me and I jumped at the chance.” The gray mare frowned. “I’m not sure what happened, though, but I think I… kind of broke her gym. I don’t know if she’s going to give me another lesson any time soon.”

“You know what? Maybe I’ll do just that,” said Lyra. “And if she takes me in, I’ll tell her you referred me and put in a good word for you, Derpy. Maybe she’ll give you another shot. You want to try it too, Bon Bon?”

“Oh, no,” said the earth pony. “No, no, no. All this walking around on two legs and the deal with the hands and all that stuff is your thing, not mine.”

“Suit yourself,” said the unicorn. She turned back to the guests. “Care to join us for lunch? I made a pair of chopsticks that I’m just dying to try out with these babies.”

“Sure,” said Geordi, nodding politely.

“When in Rome,” said Data, causing La Forge to just shake his head in amusement at the android.

“Got any muffins?” asked Derpy.

“This? Right here?” said Dr. Crusher. “This is very nice.” She, Troi, Rarity, and Fluttershy were all submerged up to their chins in a mud bath in Ponyville’s spa.

“Isn’t it, though?” said Rarity. “Fluttershy and I make it a point to come here at least once a week.” She closed her eyes as Aloe began to spread green mud on her face. Shortly afterward, Lotus applied a couple of cucumber slices to her eyes.

“My mother would absolutely adore this place,” said Troi. “If all goes well, perhaps I’ll bring her here someday. After we open the portal, she’ll likely be sent here at some point on official business anyway, so we might as well make the best of it.”

“Oh?” said Fluttershy. “Why would your mother be sent here?”

“She’s the Betazed ambassador to the Federation,” explained Troi. “There will almost assuredly be a delegation of ambassadors from many worlds sent here.”

Rarity sighed. “Applejack was right, wasn’t she? Things are never going to be the same here after we open this portal, are they?”

“Well,” said Crusher, “that will depend on you, of course. Your leaders have every right to tell us to shove off and leave you alone entirely, if that’s what you choose, and we will abide by that. On the other hand, however, you might be able to apply for Federation membership. While you don’t have space flight, which is generally one of the requirements for full membership, I’d bet you’d still be eligible for associate membership at the very least. And I know they’re going to want to assign protectorate status to this world, regardless of whether or not you actually become Federation members.” She smiled up at Aloe and Lotus, as the two twins began to apply the mud facial to her.

“Protectorate status? What does that mean?” asked Fluttershy.

“It simply means that this world would be under the protection of Starfleet,” said Troi. “There would be nothing intrusive, of course, but given that this portal will provide a direct line of travel between here and Earth, assuming Q is telling the truth of course, this will definitely become a high priority region for Starfleet Command. I wouldn’t be surprised if they want to build a starbase in this system at some point as well.”

“It all sounds so very complicated,” said Rarity. “It makes me glad, for once, that I’m not in Princess Celestia’s position. As for me, I just want to see if there will be any buyers for my dresses in your Federation.”

“Well, given what I’ve seen of your work, I’m sure you won’t have any problems with that, at all,” said Troi. She smiled and added, “In fact, I might be interested in updating my own wardrobe before we leave here.”

“Really?” said Rarity. “Well, then, I’ll have to design something extra special for you. Why, I think I’ll even delve into my stock of rarer gems for this one. Oh, the ideas are already beginning to spring to mind. I almost want to leave right this very minute to begin work on it, but… that would be a dreadful waste of this perfectly good mud bath.”

Crusher sighed contentedly. “Yeah… I don’t even think a horta would be able to dig me out of this right now.”

“It really is a wonderful way to spend the day, isn’t it?” said Fluttershy.

“That it most definitely is,” said Troi, tilting her head back as the two spa twins began to apply the mud mask to her face.

“What a horrible way to spend such a wonderful day,” said the voice from directly behind Princess Celestia, making her flinch as she was about to begin penning the final letter she needed to send out to the zebra nation concerning the portal.

“Discord,” she said, closing her eyes and slowing her breathing after the momentary shock. “Why are you in my personal chambers? Again, I should say.”

“I much preferred your other room, back in the old palace,” said Pony-Q. “Of course, I only saw it once, briefly, from the balcony outside. You know, even when I had made the palace my own abode during the time of my… madness… I never violated your chambers. It just didn’t seem right, somehow.”

“Yet you violated so many other things during that time,” said Celestia, not turning to look at him. “Again, Discord, why are you here?”

“So it’s Discord, is it? I thought you had resolved to call me Q,” said the burgundy pony. “Finding old habits hard to break, are we? Well, I don’t mind.”

“Discord… Q… whoever you are now,” said the Sun Princess, “I really need to send this last letter out, and you’re distracting me. What do you want?”

“Let me take care of that,” said Pony-Q. He tapped a foot against the floor and the previously blank page was instantly filled with words, each of them written in Celestia’s own style of writing. “Is that suitable?”

Celestia read over the document and furrowed her brow. “It’s… exactly what I would have written,” she said. “How…?”

“Child’s play, my dear,” said the burgundy pony. He reached around her and picked up the letter, ignoring the fact that she shrank back slightly at his invasion of her personal space. He bound the scroll and applied the appropriate seal to it. “I’ll just send this on its merry way.” He held the scroll up in front of him and breathed out a puff of dragon fire onto it, watching as it burnt away and the ashes winked out. He stepped back once again.

Celestia finally turned to face him, but didn’t say anything. She merely stared at him in a mixture of annoyance and… something else.

“I merely wish to talk with you,” said Pony-Q. “The last time I was here, I was most upset, and I don’t think we parted on the best of terms.”

Celestia sighed. “Discord, you corrupted both my sister and me and left us fighting over whether it should be eternal day or eternal night, causing the sun and moon to rise and set at a crazy, breakneck pace. So yes… I would definitely agree with you that we’re not on the best of terms right now.”

“Right now? As in the present?” said Pony-Q. “I was hoping that things would have mellowed out a bit since then. Seriously, Celestia, I don’t want us to be enemies any longer. In fact, I never considered us to be enemies, even during the worst of it all.”

“You tried to kill us,” said the Princess incredulously. “And, according to you, you would have succeeded if your Continuum or whatever you call it hadn’t brought you to heel. I still find it difficult to believe that your powers truly are greater than those of the Elements of Harmony. It is almost unthinkable.”

“Your relics really are incredibly powerful, I’ll grant you that,” said Pony-Q. “But they are indeed but a candle’s flame compared to the heart of the galaxy that is my own power. I’m not bragging when I say that, I am merely stating fact. And yes, while I did try to stop you from using the Elements on me, which would regrettably have ended your life, don’t forget that I also saved your life after you banished Luna to the moon.”

There was the slightest hitch in Celestia’s breathing as he said the last. “No,” she said softly. “I have not forgotten that. After sending my baby sister away, I… I just didn’t care anymore. I knew that the Elements would balk at being used in such a way, and indeed, I felt that horrible wrenching as their essence left me forever. I should have died that night. But… then I felt your presence. It was all around me, healing me. I don’t know how you did it, given that you were still trapped in the statue. And, at the time, I didn’t know why you did it either. I still don’t, really. I wasn’t even sure you still had awareness after your imprisonment…”

Pony-Q looked her deep in the eyes. “My dear Celestia, I was aware of everything. Every night, when you would come out and sit on the bench next to my statue and tell me of your day… that was the highlight of my existence at the time. It was the only thing preventing me from falling back into madness once more, I think. When I saw you lying there on the stone path next to me after Luna was gone… I don’t know what happened myself, or how. All I know is that the thought of your essence winking out forever filled me with absolute terror. I would have done anything to save you, and… apparently I did. Not even the Continuum could understand how I managed to temporarily break the bonds they had placed upon me. And, for that matter, I dare say I very likely would have done the same for you even if I had been successful in breaking your connection to the Elements the first time. Hell, I probably would have even saved your sister as well, even though she hated me, and still does even now.”

“Then why, if you still cared about me so much, did you return to your old ways when you broke out of the statue?” asked Celestia.

Pony-Q sighed. “I thought I made that clear. I was angry that you had taken Luna back into the fold after so short a time had passed. A thousand years. What is that to us? Nothing. She tried to destroy the world! I merely toyed with your little ponies for a few millennia. And yet I was to be trapped in a statue for eternity?”

Celestia closed her eyes as though she felt a migraine coming on. “Discord, please stop. Yes, I know that if Luna had succeeded, the world would have been doomed. But we are talking potentialities here. She could have destroyed the world, but she didn’t, because I stopped her. Who is to say that if she had defeated me and proceeded with her mad scheme that she wouldn’t have come to her senses on her own and returned the world to normality once she realized what she was doing?”

“Then why stop her?” asked the burgundy pony. “Why not just let her darken the world for a while? You could have saved yourself a whole lot of trouble and then would have had the ability to say ‘See, I told you so,’ when she saw what was happening.”

“I couldn’t take that risk, Discord,” said Celestia. “I didn’t want to risk that even one of my little ponies might not survive the ice age that would have followed, or that creatures in other nations would have burned alive in the inferno that would have engulfed the other side of the world. And, well, you were aware of Luna’s state of mind at the time, right? It’s possible that she actually would not have returned to her senses. I was even afraid that she might still be in such a state after she was brought back after a thousand years. Even worse, I was… and still am… afraid that it might have been more than just my baby sister inhabiting her body at the time. If she had been… …still, as I said, it was all just potentialities. What you did, however, was already etched in the stone of time. It had already happened. You needed to be stopped, and we stopped you.”

“And then you stuck me out in your statue gallery and let birds crap on my head for thousands of years,” said Pony-Q. Then he sighed wearily. “Look, my dear Celestia, I really didn’t come here to rehash the past, except insofar as to assure you again that I meant what I said before. My apology was and is most sincere. Listen, I know that it’s a lot to ask of you, but can you forgive me? After all this time?”

Celestia sighed. “You do indeed ask much of me, especially considering what you did to my parents. I… I can’t just forget or ignore what happened.”

Pony-Q lowered his head. “I expected as much.” Then he looked up at her again and said, “I can bring them back, you know.”

“What?!” said Celestia, sharply.

“Your parents,” said the entity. “I can bring them back. Time isn’t as immutable as you think it is. Temporal manipulation is nothing to me. I can make it as though they never left in the first place. Is that what you want? Would that make you happy?”

The Sun Princess stared at Pony-Q for a very long time, saying nothing. Then she slowly shook her head and said, “No. What you propose goes against nature. They are gone. My sister and I have long accepted this. I… I am offended that you would even offer such a thing, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” She fixed him with her eyes. “What game are you playing here, Discord? What is your reason for doing all of this? Bringing the human ship here, wanting to open the portal, what do you get out of it all?”

Pony-Q turned his back on her. “Even when I tell you the absolute truth, you still doubt me. You are very much like Jean-Luc in many ways, you know that, Celestia?”

Celestia smiled at this. “Well, I’ve only known him for a very short time, but I believe I will take that as a compliment.”

Pony-Q rolled his eyes, though she didn’t see it as he still had his back to her. “I’m serious. I am not playing any games here. What I get out of this is the connection that is made between you and the humans, and I don’t just mean the literal connection via the portal. I spent so much time among you ponies. A lot of that time was spent being a huge jerk to you, I admit, but even then, I couldn’t help but be impressed by you lot. And though I’ve only spent the tiniest of fractions of that amount of time among the humans, I have also grown to know them as well. That said, both of you are still a great mystery to me in many ways, but there is one thing I do know. Simply put, you have a lot in common with one another. And, given that there have already been connections between you in the past, after a fashion, I decided to take it upon myself to introduce you to one another. That is all, nothing more and nothing less.” He turned to face her again. “If you want anything more from me on the subject than that, then I am sorry as I have nothing more to give you.”

Celestia watched him for a bit more, and then nodded once. “I’m not sure why, or if it’s a wise thing for me to do, but… I believe you.”

“I guess I’ll take what I can get,” said Pony-Q with a sigh.

“There is another issue that concerns me, however,” said Celestia. “Pinkie Pie…”

“Oh?” said the omnipotent entity. “What about her?”

“I have little understanding of what you have done to her, or the transformation she has undergone, but… was it really wise to give her such power?” asked Celestia. “I grant that it was indeed what saved us in the end, but…”

Pony-Q shook his head. “I did nothing to her, except to give her the guidance that she needed to come into her own power. This was not something I gave to her from the outside. She has had this power within her all her life, as did her lineage before her, though never even remotely to the extent to which Pinkie herself has it. Even if I had not sped up the process, I don’t doubt for a moment that she would have eventually realized her power on her own at some point, and probably sooner than later.”

“But… what if something happens to her?” said the Sun Princess. “As you well know, power can corrupt. I have seen it happen…” She looked away momentarily with a rueful look on her face. “I don’t want to see something like that happen again. And this time, if she is as powerful as you say she is, I dare say there wouldn’t be a force on this world that would be able to contain her if something did go wrong, especially since she, herself, is one of the Bearers of Harmony on top of everything else.”

Pony-Q nodded. “Yes, I see what you’re getting at, but you don’t have to worry. I will be personally keeping a close eye on her. Let’s just say that if she begins to act up, it will reflect poorly on me in the eyes of the Continuum, and I could do without that bother. In fact I intend to have a little chat with her about this very topic before I leave.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Pardon me if your promises don’t reassure me, Discord… Q. Still… I suppose that there is nothing that can be done for it now, one way or the other. I shall have to trust that you know what you’re doing.”

Pony-Q looked her in the eye. “Dear Princess Celestia, I have accepted the fact that you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done to you. And I know that even though, deep down, you still do feel something for me, I accept the fact that you will never feel the same as you once did, all those millennia ago. I… suppose that’s for the best, in the end. Still, while I know that we will probably never again be close, I do hope that we can at least part more amicably than last time?”

Celestia gave him a half-smile and said, “Yes, I suppose we can at least do that much. Although you still seem to sow chaos in your wake even now, at least this time you didn’t cause my ponies any undue harm, not directly anyway. And, in your own way, you did help us to overcome this situation, even though, again, the whole thing was brought on by your arrival here in the first place.”

“Again, I’ll take what I can get,” said Pony-Q, with a half-smile of his own. “Besides, my dear Celestia, I never said that I would be leaving you forever. I may just return again, someday.” In a burst of light and sound, the burgundy pony was replaced by the draconequus form that Celestia knew so well. “And when I do, I may even decide to resume this form, just for old time’s sake. And so, I won’t say goodbye. I’ll simply say… ‘See you later.’” His half-smile became a full grin. With a jaunty wave, Discord disappeared in a second burst of light and sound.

Celestia watched the space he had occupied. She considered his final words and honestly couldn’t decide whether she was dreading it or actually looking forward to it.

“And here it is,” said Twilight Sparkle with a flourish of her hoof, “the Ponyville library. Yeah, I know it’s not nearly as big as the one you made for me on the ship.”

Commander Riker surveyed the large room and nodded in appreciation. “Maybe not, but it definitely has a charm to it that the one the computer made lacked. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the holodeck, it is that no matter how impressive the facsimile, nothing quite compares with the real thing. In most cases, anyway.”

“In most cases?” asked Twilight.

“Well,” said Riker, a bit hesitantly at first, “there… was this time when the ship was undergoing some maintenance and upgrades at Starbase 74, under the hands of some people from a race called the Bynars. One of the things they did was to enhance the holodecks. And… it was because of this that I met Minuet.”

The unicorn raised an eyebrow. “Minuet? Who’s that?”

“She was part of a plot by the Bynars to hijack the ship,” said Riker. “They were somehow able to create a holodeck program so incredibly lifelike that it was difficult to tell the difference between her and a real woman. And… what a woman she was…” He got a faraway look in his eyes for a moment, but when he noticed how Twilight was staring at him, he coughed and said, “Sorry.”

Despite everything that they’d talked about the night before, Twilight still found herself blushing and feeling the slightest tinge of unwarranted jealously, for which she mentally kicked herself. She tried to divert the subject by asking, “Well, did it work?”

“Did what work?” said Riker, still a bit lost in thought.

“Their attempt to take over the ship, I mean,” said Twilight.

“Yeah, it did,” said the first officer. “Both the Captain and I were in the holodeck when it happened, and had been completely cut off from the rest of the ship, communication-wise. Everyone else had been tricked into evacuating the ship due to a fake containment breach in the warp drive. After that, the Bynars successfully took control and brought the ship to their homeworld. Captain Picard and I finally became suspicious when Minuet kept trying to keep us from leaving the holodeck, so we finally realized something was going on. When we confronted the Bynars, we learned that their intentions were not malicious. They were merely trying to save their homeworld. Even so, stealing a starship is pretty serious business.” Riker sighed sadly. “For me, however, the worst thing about it was that when I returned to the holodeck later, Minuet was… gone. I was never able to bring her back after that.”

“Why not?” said Twilight, not all that thrilled that the topic had drifted back to the holodeck woman again. “What happened?”

“The computer just couldn’t recreate her,” said Riker. “I suppose after their plan had been accomplished, all of the reprogramming that they’d set in place for hijacking the ship was removed, and this included Minuet, sadly. It really felt like losing someone, you know? I mean, I know she was never real in the first place, but…” Once again, Riker noticed the look on Twilight’s face. “I… I’m sorry, Twilight. I wasn’t thinking. I should have realized this would have been something of a poor conversation topic, especially after everything we talked about last night.”

“No,” said Twilight. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who should-” Before she could finish what she was saying though, there was a pink burst of light and party cannon sound in their midst and suddenly Pinkie Pie was there with them.

“Hey chums, why so glum?” said the pink pony as steamers and confetti flittered to the ground around her.

“Gah!” Twilight was staring wide eyed at her. “Pinkie, what the hay?! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

Pinkie picked a stray bit of confetti out of the unicorn’s mane and said, “Sorry for bursting in like this, but I just happened to be passing by outside and I felt some seriously negative energy flowing out of this place. So, of course, I just had to pop in and see what was up and if there was anything I could do to make it better.” She looked back and forth between Twilight and Riker and she broke into a grin. “Aha! I know what this is all about, and I know just the thing.”

“What are you talking about?” said Twilight nervously. She still wasn’t even remotely accustomed to the fact that her friend was now essentially a being just like Q. Pinkie bent her head in close to Twilight’s ear, cupped a hoof near it to keep Riker from hearing, and started whispering.

“What?!” said Twilight, her eyes widening even more than before. “No, Pinkie! You can’t do that!”

“Sure I can,” said the party pony. “Just watch!”

“No, wait!” shouted Twilight, but Pinkie had already tapped the floor with a hoof.

Twilight disappeared in a pink burst of light. When the light faded, there was a human girl standing in her place.

“See?” said Pinkie. “I even remembered the clothing this time.”

Twilight looked down at herself in her new human form. She was wearing a light purple tee-shirt which had her cutie mark emblazoned across the chest, over which was a darker purple, unbuttoned denim jacket. She was also wearing a layered denim skirt of similar colors that came down to her knees. On her feet was a pair of dark purple Mary Janes, as well as a pair of light purple socks, the tops of which disappeared somewhere high beneath the skirt. The human girl looked at Pinkie Pie with eyes wide with fright. “What have you done, Pinkie?”

“What does it look like, silly?” said Pinkie. “I turned you into a human just like I said. Don’t worry, I’ll change you back in a bit, but you should take advantage of it while you have the chance.” The pink pony nodded her head toward Riker a couple of times and wiggled her eyebrows. “Eh? Eh?”

Twilight shook her head furiously. “Pinkie Pie, no! This is not cool! I want you to-whoa!” She had started to take a step forward but managed to trip herself with her own unfamiliar human feet. Luckily, Riker was there to catch her before she fell. She looked up at him and when she realized that she was blushing madly even in the midst of her shock, it only made her that much more upset. “T-thanks. Please, can you help me to the chair over there?” Riker nodded and did as she asked before turning to Pinkie Pie.

“I was afraid something like this might happen,” he said, his voice firm with indignation on Twilight’s behalf. “Pinkie Pie, I know how you feel right now. You feel like you can do anything you want. And for what it’s worth, that’s probably a justified feeling, because you very likely can do exactly that. It’s a very intoxicating one, I know that much. I felt it myself when Q gave me a taste of it. But what you have to realize is that just because you can do something like this, it doesn’t mean that you should do it.”

Pinkie frowned. “But… but I just wanted to make Twilight feel better.”

“Does it look like she feels better to you?” said Riker. He wasn’t being deliberately unkind, like he would have been with Q himself, because he knew that Pinkie’s heart was in the right place, but his tone of voice made it more than clear that he did not approve of this. He looked down at Twilight. With his hands still resting on her shoulders, partially entwined in her purple/pink striped hair, he could easily feel her shivering at the shock and fear of suddenly being in an unfamiliar body, though he had a feeling that the fear might be partially directed a bit more outward at the moment as well.

“P-pinkie, I know you meant well,” said Twilight, her voice quavering through unfamiliar vocal chords, even though it mostly still sounded like her voice as a pony. “But... I don’t want this. Change me back into a pony. P-please?”

Pinkie looked back and forth between Riker and Twilight. “I… I’m sorry, Twilight,” she said, hanging her head low and closing her eyes. “I’ll turn you back to normal right this minute.” In yet another burst of pink light, the purple-attired human disappeared and was replaced with the familiar purple unicorn.

Twilight sighed in relief. She started to say something, but then she got a better look at her friend. Neither she nor Riker could hear anything, nor could they see her face because she still had her head bowed, but they could tell from the way Pinkie’s shoulders were shaking that she was sobbing silently.

“Pinkie? What’s wrong?” said Twilight. When the pink pony raised her head, the look on her face broke Twilight’s heart.

“I knew this would happen,” said Pinkie Pie, her voice hitching and real tears streaming down her face. “I even warned Q that this would happen when he first told me about my powers. I told him that I’d lose all my friends. That you’d all be scared of me and hate me.” Twilight noticed with horror that the curls in Pinkie’s mane and tail were starting to unravel. Her thoughts drifted back to the nearly disastrous surprise birthday party that they’d thrown for Pinkie over a year ago. She remembered the rage in the normally perky pony’s voice as she had lashed out at all of them. She also recalled the worry in Rainbow Dash’s voice when the pegasus had later secretly confided in Twilight about what Pinkie had been up to when Dash had found her alone in her room.

“Oh, Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight, rushing over to her friend and nuzzling her. “I don’t hate you at all! How could you possibly think such a thing?”

“But you are scared of me,” said Pinkie miserably.

“It… it was just a momentary shock,” said Twilight. “T-that’s all.”

“Don’t lie to me,” said Pinkie, new sobs starting to overtake her again. “You know how much I hate that. And I know you know that, because you’re thinking about it right now. I’m a freak now, remember? I can read every thought in your head and sense every emotion you’re feeling. You’re remembering my birthday party and are worried that I might go crazy again like I did then. And you’re worried about how angry I might be because Rainbow Dash shared my secret with you, but you are trying not to think about how much worse it all might be this time since I now have the power to reshape reality. You’re scared to death of me and what I’ve become. I… I’m a monster now. I should move to the Everfree Forest, but I won’t because I don’t want to scare Zecora and Steven away. Maybe I could move out to the desert… no, then I’d scare the buffalo away. M-maybe I should leave with Q and live in his Continuum, if they’ll have me.”

Twilight felt tears stinging in her own eyes. “Pinkie Pie… if you truly can sense what I’m feeling, then you have to be able to feel how very much I love you. You’re one of my best friends. You were the very first pony I spoke to when I arrived in Ponyville. You went out of your way to make me feel welcome here and I will never forget that, even if I didn’t really appreciate it at the time. While I may indeed feel a tiny bit of… apprehension… at the news of your newfound powers, I’m sure that will pass soon enough, and it will never, ever overpower the bond of friendship I have with you.”

“That bond was with the old Pinkie Pie though,” said the pink earth pony. “You know, the one who didn’t have reality warping powers.”

“Pinkie, just last night, you used those very powers to save my life,” said Twilight. “And you saved all of us from the Borg. It’s not inherently a bad thing that you have them.”

“And yet, now,” said Pinkie, her sobs renewing once more, “I’m using them on you for trivial things, against your will. I guess it’s just in my nature to be a stupid, frivolous little pony. It was in that Gabby Gums article the other day, and even Fluttershy said the same thing, and it’s all true! I’m sorry, Twilight, I’m so sorry! I just wanted to make you feel better, but I royally screwed everything up. I’m just a freakish monster who doesn’t deserve friends like you and the others!”

“Oh, Pinkie…” said Twilight, her own voice choking up at her friend’s distress.

A fourth voice suddenly spoke from all around them within the room. “Pinkie Pie, you are not a freakish monster.” With a burst of white light and sound, Pony-Q was in the room with them. “And I have to say that it is insulting that you would think of yourself that way. What does that say about me?”

Riker, who had remained silent after Pinkie’s breakdown, sighed with heavy exasperation at the new arrival. “Q, this is probably not the best time…”

“On the contrary, Riker,” said Pony-Q, not even deigning to look in the human’s direction, “it appears that I’m already too late. It seems that Pinkie Pie has already done something that was probably perfectly harmless but which nonetheless frightened you frail mortals right out of your feeble little minds, am I right?”

“I turned Twilight into a human,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Oh please,” said the burgundy pony with a derisive snort. “See? What did I tell you? It was completely innocuous.”

Pinkie sighed and lowered her head again. “But… I did it without her permission and against her will. It was wrong.” She looked Twilight in the eyes and said, “I’m so very sorry. I only wanted to make you happy. Can you ever forgive me?”

Twilight smiled and said, “Of course I forgive you, Pinkie. Don’t worry about it. Like I said it was just a momentary shock, that’s all. If I’m still feeling a bit… nervous… about your new powers, well, that’s a problem with me and one that I’ll just have to work through myself. Don’t feel so bad, Pinkie. I know your heart was in the right place.”

“Oh Twilight…” said Pinkie, trying to curtail her sobbing.

“Oh spare me,” muttered Pony-Q, rolling his eyes. “Listen, Pinkie. I came here because we need to have another little… chat, and this incident makes it clear that we should have had it sooner.” He looked at Riker and Twilight pointedly and added, “In private, if you don’t mind?” When the unicorn and the human merely glared at him, he said, “All right, fine. Have it your way. Come along, Pinkie.” He tapped a foot on the ground and both he and Pinkie Pie disappeared in a white burst of light and sound.

“Pinkie!” shouted Twilight. “Oh no, oh no, this can’t be good! Did you see the look in his eyes?!”

Riker nodded, and the edges of his mouth turned downward. “He did seem a bit more annoyed than normal. I can’t say I understand what he’s thinking, even in the best of times.”

“But even worse,” said Twilight, “is the state that Pinkie herself was in.”

“Yeah, I noticed that…” said Riker. “Her hair suddenly went lank, and if my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me, it seemed that her colors were fading out as well. What does that mean?”

“It means that she’s in a terrible state of mind right now,” said Twilight, pain in her voice. “Oh, this is all my fault! I tried my best to make her feel better, but… I shouldn’t have let my fright show so much at the start. I shouldn’t have snapped at her like I did. I should have just played along with it. I should have…” She looked at Riker and then the intense emotions from the past few minutes finally proved to be too much, and Twilight sank down to the floor and started sobbing, rather similar to how Pinkie was earlier. “Now she thinks I’m terrified of her and that I hate her! It’s not true at all!”

“Twilight,” said Riker, kneeling down next to her. “You can’t blame yourself for this. It caught you out of the blue. Nobody would have reacted well to suddenly being changed into an entirely new lifeform like that.”

“She was just trying to help,” said Twilight. “It’s just that I think she doesn’t really understand this sort of thing… any more than I do, to be honest. She just… well, I don’t know what she thought I should do once I was a human…”

“It’s okay, Twilight,” said Riker, absently stroking her mane with his fingers in an attempt to calm her down. “Everything is going to be fine. I’m sure Q will bring Pinkie back safe. I don’t think he was truly angry with her, just somewhat irritated. Hopefully, his little ‘chat’ will be just that, and nothing more.”

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. “That feels really nice. You know, when you caught me as I tripped earlier, there was a very brief second there while you held me in your arms that I deluded myself into thinking… hoping… that you were about to…”

“To…?” said Riker, though he had a feeling what Twilight was implying.

Twilight rose up on her forelegs, tilted her head up toward him and kissed him softly on the lips. At the mild surprise on his face, she started blushing again and turned her head away from him. “I’m sorry. I… really shouldn’t have done that. I know you don’t feel the same way about me. I’m… not in a very clear state of mind right now. Again, I apologize. It’s just that you’ve been so nice to us all and to me in particular. It’s going to take some effort… and the way you’re still stroking my mane there really isn’t helping me to clear my head… though far be it from me to tell you to stop, mind you.”

Riker cleared his throat and stood up, with Twilight rising to her own feet a few moments later. “Sorry. Er… well, I’m glad you’re feeling better now, at least. And… well… one little kiss isn’t going to hurt anything, right? But… yeah… for now I think we should focus on the situation with Pinkie Pie.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, I agree. I’ll go and gather my friends and we’ll try to think about a way to deal with this. We can’t let Pinkie keep thinking the way she is now. Powers or not, she’s still our friend, and I know that none of them would want her to feel this way any more than I do. I just… hope we actually get a chance to tell her.”

“I will return to the ship, then,” said Riker. “We’ll scan the planet and the rest of the star system and see if we can detect them anywhere. That said, I wouldn’t put too much hope in us finding them until Q is good and ready to be found again. The best we can hope for is that Q will return her back here safe and sound. I doubt he would do something so brash as to harm her or… worse, especially given that he was the one who taught her how to use her new powers in the first place. It’s simply not his style, at least based on everything we do know about him.”

“I really hope you’re right,” said Twilight. She smiled and added, “Thanks again for all your help.” She turned and started for the door of the library, on the way to find her other friends.

“Don’t mention it,” said Riker, with an answering smile of his own. He tapped his combadge. “Riker to Enterprise. One to beam up.”

Little Chat

Chapter 14 – Little Chat

Pinkie Pie gasped in shock as she and Pony-Q appeared on the surface of the sun around which her world orbited. As she looked around, she decided that it would be a wise idea to upgrade from mere shock and progress onward to stark terror.

“Hold it right there,” said Pony-Q, as he bobbed up and down on the turbulent stellar matter. “Don’t say a single word. First, I want you to carefully reflect on how you are feeling right now, knowing that at any moment I could remove the bubble of protection that I have granted you which is preventing you from evaporating entirely.”

Pinkie Pie indeed didn’t say a word as she stared at the entity in mute fear.

“Got it?” said Pony-Q. “Good. Now, I want you to reflect on how it must have felt for Twilight Sparkle when you turned her into a human against her will, and how what you are feeling right now is probably similar to how she felt. I know you’ve already shown contrition about what you did to her, but I still feel like you need a more personal example of what such a thing feels like from the receiving end in order to drive the point home. Though, of course, it’s good to keep in mind as well that what Twilight felt is probably a mere shadow to what you are feeling now, given that her life was never in any real danger of ending suddenly, unlike yours is right now.”

Pinkie lowered her head and stared into the boiling plasma of the surface of the star. She remained silent, especially since she didn’t think she’d be able to speak at the moment without it devolving into terrified screams anyway. She was trying everything in her own considerable newfound powers to try to return to Ponyville, but her powers were being blocked. She could feel the excruciating heat all around her and knew that it was only at the whim of Pony-Q that she was still alive at all.

“Personally, the sort of thing that you did doesn’t bother me at all,” said Pony-Q, in a casual tone. “I could have turned your friend into a human and not batted an eye, even as she pleaded and begged to be changed back. Similarly, I could also strand you here for the rest of what would be your pitifully short life and I’d feel only the slightest tinge of regret as the millennia rolled onward. But you… you’re different, Pinkie Pie. I know that, and you know that. You seem to actually care about how others feel about you, even now that they are but insects to you. You want them to think well of you. You would go absolutely insane if they all hated you, wouldn’t you. That’s not a question, because I know that is exactly what would happen. Well, I have a bit of advice for you.”

Pinkie Pie looked up at him again and tried to focus entirely on the entity and to do what she could otherwise to ignore the rest of her maddening surroundings.

“Don’t do it. Don’t go insane,” said the omnipotent entity in the guise of the burgundy earth pony. “It may seem like a whole lot of fun at first, but afterward you just feel terrible about the whole thing. Believe me, I’ve been there. And as lovely as your mane and tail looks all lank like that, it’s just not you, you know?” He glanced down at the star matter and said, “Oh, you might want to brace yourself for a bit.”

Before he’d hardly finished the sentence, a solar flare erupted from the surface of the star right where they were standing. It was quite tiny in the grand scheme of things, a low B-class flare, but as far as Pinkie Pie was concerned, those brief few seconds that she found herself completely engulfed in star matter was her entire existence.

In a burst of light and sound, the pink pony suddenly found herself standing shakily on the outer hull of the Enterprise, just before her legs failed completely and she collapsed. Pony-Q was standing there in front of her again, nodding in approval, while she merely stared up at him, her eyes wide with horror. She was trying very hard to regain control of her shuddering breath again, and wasn’t altogether succeeding. The lack of air certainly wasn’t helping much in that regard.

“Very impressive,” said Pony-Q. “Even after I removed my protection from you, you still managed to hold yourself together for several seconds before I had to quite literally pull you out of the fire. Granted, another nanosecond or so and you would have been reduced to vapor, if even that. Let this be another lesson to you. I am more powerful than you. Any one of us Q will be stronger than you. The only reason you were able to defeat Q this morning is because Q was helping you in your battle against her. Keep that in mind. When I told you not to go mad earlier, that wasn’t just concern for your mental well being. While I, personally, am not one to chastise you for doing so, given that it would be rather hypocritical of me if I did, you can rest assured that the rest of the Q Continuum will come down on you hard. Very, very hard. And they won’t just be content with merely allowing you to be, let’s say, trapped as stone for several thousand years. No, that’s what they do when they’re being nice. That’s what they do when they are dealing with family. You, Pinkie Pie, are not a Q. There are some in the Continuum who would see you destroyed even now, merely for existing as you are. I’d rather not contemplate what they would do to you if you actively started to cause trouble. I say this not as a threat, but as a heartfelt warning to a kindred spirit. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, my dear. In fact, I would probably fight with every ounce of my being to prevent it from happening, but…” He sighed. “I’m just one Q after all.”

“What do you want from me?!” Pinkie Pie finally shrieked at him in anguish. “I already said I was sorry! I’ll never do anything like that ever again, I swear! I… I wish I didn’t even have these powers at all!”

“Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q, his voice softening from the hard, disciplinary tone he’d been using before. “Don’t say that. Your powers are a real gift, and ones that you came by honestly. They are yours in truth, and not something that was thrust upon you by an outside force like me. All you need to do is to learn to use them responsibly. Also, need I remind you that if you didn’t have those powers, we’d all either be dead or speaking Borg right about now? Seriously, I hope my little demonstration here hasn’t scarred you too much, and I hope that between this and your earlier experience with Twilight Sparkle, you will take this lesson to heart. Don’t toy with other beings. Again, I say this not because I personally care what you do, but because I know that you care. I know that you won’t like how you end up if you do. And, no, that’s not yet another threat. Even if the Continuum somehow were to let you get away with something truly terrible, I know that you would ultimately end up punishing yourself for it. Make of this what you will. I know you’ll do the right thing in the end.”

Pinkie Pie bit her bottom lip. “Well, this is what I wanted to talk to you about before, anyway. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? Things can’t go back to the way they were before, can they?”

“And why not?” said Pony-Q. “You’re nigh omnipotent now. You can do almost anything and everything you want. And if what you truly want to do is live a ‘normal’ life in Ponyville, then what is stopping you? The only difference now is that you’ll know how your Pinkie Sense works among other things, right? You’ll know that you can eat a literal ton of chocolate without having a tummy ache afterwards. Unless, for some weird reason, you decide that you want that tummy ache, then you can have it as well.”

“But I’m not the same pony that I was two days ago,” said Pinkie. “What do I do about my friends being scared of me now? How do I reassure them that I would never do anything to harm them? For that matter, how can I really be sure that I won’t do anything to hurt them even if I don’t mean to? Like… what happened with Twilight just now.”

“Baby steps, my dear Pinkie Pie. Baby steps,” said Pony-Q. “Don’t start off by trying to turn your friends into other creatures, for one thing. Or, at the very least, make absolutely sure that they’re okay with it before you do, anyway. As for your friends being frightened of you, that’s only to be expected. But I think you’ll find that their newfound fear of you isn’t suddenly their defining character trait. You still consider yourself their friend, do you not?”

“Of course I am,” said the pink pony. “Twilight is one of the best friends I have, along with AJ and Dashie and Rarity and Fluttershy and Spike.”

“Well, think about it like this,” said Pony-Q. “What if it was one of them instead of you? Let’s say Twilight Sparkle, for instance. In this hypothetical situation, let’s say that Twilight somehow suddenly finds or creates an artifact that allows her to master her magic to such an extent that even both Celestia and Luna combined pale in comparison to her. She now shapes reality as she sees fit, not unlike a Q… and not unlike you. You’re not sure if this power is corrupting her, but she reassures you that it has not. There are a few missteps at the beginning where she does some things that don’t quite go as she intended them to go, but in the end she makes things right and apologizes for screwing up. So how do you feel about her now?”

Pinkie Pie didn’t answer immediately. After a few moments of considering it, she said, “Well… I’d think it was really cool that she was so strong now. I might be a bit wary when she started doing some heavy-duty magic, at least until I was sure that she could handle it without blowing everything up. But I wouldn’t ever hate her for it, at least as long as she didn’t let it go to her head and become a big mean bully. And even then, I’d try to help her realize she was being a big meanie instead of just shunning her.”

“Very good,” said the burgundy pony. “Remember what you said at the end there. Don’t become a bully with your powers and you’ll do just fine. As long as your friends see that you’re still acting in good faith, their initial fear of you will fade with time. I do have some advice for you, though. Some real advice this time, that is, and not just warnings of dire threats to your existence or whatever. Don’t become a deus ex machina. Don’t become the one who solves all of your friends’ problems before they even know they have problems. Don’t become a Pony Sue. You might think that it’s fun at first to be the one who always gallops in at the last minute, or even the first minute, to save the day, or the one who makes everypony else love you without exception, or the one who… well, you get my drift. It may be amusing at first, but you’ll get bored with that, and very quickly. Here’s a tip, just from me to you. Play games of chance, whether it’s just a simple game of cards or something far more elaborate. I’ll leave it to your imagination what I mean by that. I’m sure you wouldn’t be into the deadlier variations on that theme, but still, just keep it in mind, okay? Also, don’t unduly affect the outcome of these games either, or else you’ll ruin all the fun of it. If you always win no matter what, then what’s the point, right? This is how I’ve managed to keep my sanity all these millennia. Well, for the most part, anyway. That’s why I’m still the fun guy you see before you now and not one of those stodgy old coots who spend their days sitting around the Continuum doing absolutely nothing at all.” As he said the last, his eyes suddenly lit up as though he’d just had the most brilliant idea imaginable.

“Is… everything all right?” asked Pinkie a bit nervously.

“I just had the most brilliant idea imaginable,” said Pony-Q excitedly. “You should come back to the Continuum with me!”

“What?” said the pink pony. “No! Why would I want to go there? All of my friends are in Ponyville. I mean sure, I considered it earlier, but…”

Pony-Q shook his head. “Oh heavens no, Pinkie, I don’t want you to come live in the Continuum. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I wouldn’t even wish that on Guinan. I certainly wouldn’t have forced Riker to endure such ennui for long. No, I just want you to visit for a bit. Here’s what I have in mind.” With that he started laying out his plans to Pinkie. At first she was unsure, but very quickly she was grinning from ear to ear and nodding enthusiastically and even offering some suggestions of her own to add to those of Pony-Q. Without her even realizing it, the color returned to her body and her mane and tail poofed back out into their normal curly state. And then, with simultaneous bursts of light (white in Pony-Q’s case and, of course, pink in Pinkie’s case) they vanished from the hull of the Enterprise.

“And then they just vanished!” said Twilight, as she explained to her friends what was going on in the aftermath of Pony-Q essentially kidnapping Pinkie Pie. It had been over an hour since the two had disappeared, and Twilight and her friends had gathered once more in the Ponyville library.

“But… I don’t get it,” said Rainbow Dash. “You think he was going to punish her or something?”

“You didn’t see him,” said Twilight. “He looked rather annoyed with her. But, more importantly, you didn’t see her. She lost her color and curls again, Rainbow.”

“Oh…” said Dash, frowning as comprehension dawned on her.

“What does that mean?” said Applejack. “I mean, sure, we all saw her at the birthday party, but…”

“Well, let’s just say,” said Rainbow Dash, “that if… when... when we see her again, we all need to do our best to reassure her that she’s our friend, no matter what.”

“But why would she ever doubt that?” asked Rarity. “Well, okay, aside from the time that she thought we all hated her because we were being so evasive about her surprise party. But I thought she’d learned her lesson from that already.”

“She can read minds now, Rarity,” said Twilight simply.

“Oh…” said Rarity, then her eyes widened. “Oh!” She sighed and said, “Well, I do admit that I’ve sometimes felt a bit… impatient with Pinkie in the past. But I never… well, rarely ever actually voiced those feelings. If she’s picking up on those hidden feelings now…”

“But… everypony feels like that sometimes,” said Fluttershy. “W-we can’t help it. Even I do, and not just about Pinkie Pie. We all have sides of ourselves that we’d rather not have others see. I… I’m one of the bad ponies who let her inner feelings out in a fit of anger once and… well, it made two of my best friends cry, and I still feel horrible about it to this day. Rarity, I… I’m sorry. I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am for that horrible outburst the other day. I would apologize again to Pinkie as well, but…”

“Fluttershy,” said Rarity, “you’re not a bad pony. Don’t worry about it. I know you were under a lot of stress during that time, and I know that you don’t really think that I’m… petty. We all say things that we don’t really mean sometimes, even if we think we do at the time. As for Pinkie, well… partying is where her passion lies, and while I admit that I have myself thought of her as rather frivolous at times, I also have to admit that some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life has been at her parties, so I guess there’s much to be said for frivolity. I wouldn’t change that about Pinkie for the world.”

“I just can’t imagine what it must be like for her,” said Applejack. “She’s friends with everypony in Ponyville and quite a few outside of Ponyville as well. But she can be a bit too… rambunctious sometimes. I’m sure ya’ll remember how she was when Cranky moved to Ponyville. That sort of thing is gonna ruffle a few feathers, even on us ponies who ain’t pegasi and don’t have feathers, but surely she has to realize that even if we get a bit short tempered with her at times, and might be thinkin’ less than kind thoughts about her occasionally, that don’t mean that we’ve stopped carin’ about her.”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, “I have to admit that I thought she was really annoying at first, and she can still be kinda grating even after I got to know her pretty well, but on the whole I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than Pinkie Pie and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, not even a single song-free day.”

Twilight nodded and said, “All right. So the plan is that as soon as we see Pinkie again, we ponypile her and give her the biggest group hug we’ve ever given and let her know just how much she means to all of us.”

“That’s assuming we ever do see her again,” said Fluttershy. “I can’t bear to think of what she must be going through right now, off who knows where with Discord… er, I mean that Q pony… who was Discord…” She shook her head in confusion. “Oh, she must be feeling just horrible.”

All further conversation was interrupted when there was a sudden burst of white/pink light which left Pony-Q and Pinkie Pie unexpectedly standing in their midst. Both of them were cackling madly.

“Ahahaha, that was perfect, Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q, who for some strange reason was wearing a lampshade on his head.

“Wasn’t it though?!” said Pinkie, who was wearing a matching lampshade on her own head. “You should have seen the look on Q’s face!”

“Oh and when I spiked the punch and then Q started to recite poetry,” said the burgundy pony. “I’ve never heard such a horrible thing in my entire long existence! It was absolutely hilarious!”

“I was just surprised at how many words he managed to find to rhyme with ‘orange,’” said Pinkie Pie, “even if he did have to switch to Ferengi or Antedean or whatever else in midsentence.”

“Yeah,” said Pony-Q. “Oh, and that mountain of ice cream you made! I thought Q was going to explode! I never would have expected what a total hog he was.”

“It was great, and I’m glad at least a few of them had fun,” said the pink pony. “It’s just too bad that they rather quickly kicked me out of the Continuum on pain of existence failure if I ever show my face there again.”

“Oh, psh. Don’t even worry about that,” said Pony-Q dismissively. “Most of those stuffy old codgers wouldn’t know fun if it literally came up and bit them in the flank. And in Q’s case that’s exactly what happened! And he really didn’t recognize it! Oh my, I should have taken pictures! But anyway, yeah, you’re not missing out on anything by never going back there again. And, you know, for what it’s worth, I could probably get you back in again in the future without them doing anything to you if you really did want to go back for some oddball reason. Anyway, I have business elsewhere at the moment, so I’ll see you later. Remember what we talked about before.” With a wave of a hoof, he disappeared.

After Pony-Q’s departure, Pinkie Pie finally realized where she was and that all of her friends were standing there and staring at her with their mouths hanging open. “Oh, hi girls, what’s up?” said Pinkie, giving them a cheerful wink. The lampshade flopped down over her eyes and she flicked it back up with a shake of her head.

Twilight worked her mouth for a bit and then managed to get some words out. “Um, Pinkie? Are you… okay? We were so worried about you.”

“Never been better!” said the pink earth pony. “Well, okay, I admit that I was feeling pretty down in the dumps when Q first pulled me away, but I think the chat I had with him has helped to put things into perspective for me. And just so you all know, I heard everything you said just now, and I don’t hold it against you that you might think badly of me sometimes. I know I’ve done things that I realize now may have annoyed you, and for that I’m sorry. I can’t promise that I’ll never do anything like that again, but I’ll try my best. So…” She looked at her friends expectantly.

“Huh?” said Rainbow Dash.

“Weren’t you guys planning to do something the next time you saw me?” asked Pinkie Pie with a grin. “I really could use that group hug right about now, I think.”

The other five ponies looked at each other then broke out into grins of their own. True to their word, they rushed over to their friend and gave her the biggest hug ever.

“It’s so good to have friends like you guys,” said Pinkie. “Even if we can sometimes get on each others nerves, I realize now that we’ll always be friends. In fact, I think I feel a song coming on.” At the involuntary groans in reaction to this, most notably from Rainbow Dash and Rarity, Pinkie giggled and said, “Just kidding!”

Connection

Chapter 15 – Connection

“Sir, I’m picking up the presence of Q on the planet surface,” said Lt. Jae, who was filling in for Data at the Ops station.

“Well, I guess that means he’s finished whatever he was going to do, otherwise we wouldn’t be seeing him at all,” said Riker. “What is his location?”

“In the Ponyville library,” said Jae. “He is in the presence of six others.”

Riker nodded. “Back to where he took her from, it sounds like.”

“Of course,” said Q, who suddenly appeared in the seat that Riker normally sat in, while Riker himself currently occupied the captain’s chair. “It would be rather ungentlemanly of me not to walk a lady back home after such a… hot date, wouldn’t you say? What, did you think I was going to go off and leave Pinkie Pie stranded on the surface of the sun or something crass like that? We just chatted for a little while, that’s all. She’s perfectly fine now, I can assure you. Besides, Riker, don’t you have more important things to be doing other than keeping tabs on me?”

“If you’re referring to finding the wormhole location,” said Riker irritably, “then we’ve nearly completed the full scan of the planet. As it turns out, we’re fairly sure that we found it almost as soon as we began the search. There is a large concentration of verteron and chroniton particles above Ponyville, or over the Everfree Forest more specifically. Apparently, there is some sort of large structure found within the forest, and it is directly above this that the collection of particles is found.”

“Ah, yes, the old abandoned palace of the royal family before the capital was moved to Canterlot,” said Q, nodding. “Analogue to Dream Castle in the other world, just as Ponyville is the analogue to Paradise Estate. It is entirely fitting that the portal would be found there, of course. Well, now that you’ve found it, all that’s left now is for the ponies to use their Elements of Harmony to open it up. I guess that means you need to get Celestia on the horn and get this ball rolling.”

Riker gave Q an aggravated glare, shook his head, and then tapped a button on the armrest of the command chair. “Enterprise to Captain Picard.”

“And so it’s decided, then,” said Princess Celestia. “We will allow the portal to be opened.” Her gaze drifted around the room to the ambassadors from the griffon, zebra, minotaur, and dragon nations, and then finally came to rest on Captain Picard. “All that remains is for the location of the portal itself to be found.”

Picard nodded and said, “And so it shall be. As you all know, my ship has been conducting a search of the planet for the past several hours now, and I expect this to be completed momentarily.”

“In that case, I believe our business here is concluded,” said Celestia. She turned to the ambassadors and said, “I thank each of you for your prompt responses in this matter, and I wish to extend my thanks to your leaders for agreeing that it is indeed in the best interests of our world as a whole to establish relations with the Federation.” She nodded as each of the ambassadors gave their reassurances that this was indeed the case and that they would pass along her regards to their respective rulers. Finally, she said, “You are free to stay here as long as you like, or if you prefer to return to your homelands immediately, my court mages are available to expedite your journey via teleportation.” With that, each of the ambassadors paid their due respects to the leader of Equestria and filed out of the room.

As if on cue, it was at this moment that Riker’s voice issued from his combadge, “Enterprise to Captain Picard. Sorry to disturb you during your meeting with the ambassadors, but you requested to be contacted as soon as we found something.”

Picard tapped his combadge. “We’ve just finished, Number One. Go ahead.”

“We’ve found the location of the portal, sir,” said Riker. “It is above the Everfree Forest, directly over a structure that Q calls the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.”

“Very good, Number One,” said Picard. “I’ll be returning to the ship in a few moments. Picard out.”

Celestia closed her eyes and shook her head. “Of course it would be there,” she said with a weary sigh. “Discord knew all along it would be there.”

“Is there a problem?” asked Captain Picard.

“Not as such, no,” said the Sun Princess. “It’s just that this location has… historical significance to Equestria… and to me in particular. However, more importantly than that, it has been long abandoned to the wilds of the Everfree. I doubt the Bearers of Harmony are going to be very thrilled to hear that they need to venture inside that forest once again.”

“Indeed, Q warned us away from there before we first came down here,” said Picard. “He claimed that it was a dangerous place.”

“He’s right,” said Celestia darkly. “He should know, given that he’s the one who made it into such a dangerous place in the first place. Several thousand years ago, it was just a normal forest like any other, but thanks to Discord, or Q as you call him, it’s now a wild place, ever free from the influence of all pony magic, including my own.”

“Why am I not surprised that he would be involved in such a thing?” muttered Picard. “Well, perhaps we can be of aid in this situation as well. Rather than have your ponies make the trek through the forest unnecessarily, we can transport them directly to the location of this castle. By your leave, I shall return to the ship and make the necessary preparations for this.”

Celestia nodded. “That would indeed simply things greatly, and I thank you once again. Well, then, I suppose I should gather Twilight and her friends and then unlock the vault containing the Elements of Harmony for them.”

“The Everfree Forest,” said Twilight Sparkle, as she read the letter from Celestia. “Just above the Ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.”

“Where it all began,” said Applejack. “It figures.”

“D-does that mean we have to journey through the forest again?” asked Fluttershy, the nervous hesitation at such an undertaking evident in her voice.

Twilight finished reading the letter. “No, we don’t. Captain Picard has offered to transport us to Canterlot to gather the Elements of Harmony and then directly to the castle, bypassing the forest entirely.”

Rarity sighed in relief and said, “Well, that’s good. I wouldn’t have minded visiting with Steven along the way, of course, but I much prefer to not have to get my hooves dirty in that nasty place.”

“We still have to go back to that creepy old castle, though,” said Pinkie Pie. “Oh well, at least it’ll be daytime this time. Maybe we should try to clean it up a little bit once we get there.”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, “I guess it wouldn’t be good that the first thing visitors from Earth see when they get here is a broken down old castle.”

Twilight shook her head. “While I do agree that the old castle could definitely use a good repair job, I think our first priority should be to get the portal opened. We can worry about anything else after that. For now, I just need to send a letter back to Princess Celestia letting her know that we’re ready, so she can contact the Enterprise. Spike!” She looked around the library foyer. “Where’d that dragon get to? He was just here a little while ago.”

The front door to the library opened and Spike came through. “You called?” he said. “Sorry, I only just got back from the café with lunch for everypony.”

“Oh how thoughtful of you, little Spikey-Wikey!” said Rarity. She walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head. Then she had to quickly catch the food with her telekinesis before it fell to the floor, given that Spike was now swooning and staggering around, with a blissful smile on his face and completely unaware of his surroundings.

The other ponies giggled at this display as Twilight rolled her eyes and said, “Well, we might as well have lunch first then, since Spike won’t be good for much of anything for a while.”

Roughly an hour later, as the transporter beams faded away, the six ponies looked quietly around at the somewhat familiar surroundings of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. Each of them was wearing their respective Element of Harmony.

“Mr. Worf, do you read anything?” asked Commander Riker. Given the potential danger from the surrounding Everfree Forest, Riker and Worf had accompanied the ponies back down to the planet, both of them armed with Type-II hand phasers.

Worf scanned the area with his tricorder then shook his head. “There’s nothing in the immediate vicinity, sir, but I am detecting multiple life signs in the area. Some of them appear to be rather large. However, they seem to be keeping their distance, at least for the moment.”

Applejack glanced in the Klingon’s direction, and then looked up at the castle. “So… here we are again, back to the place where we first found these things.”

“It certainly does look different in the sunlight,” said Rainbow Dash.

“I agree,” said Rarity. “It doesn’t look nearly as creepy and evil as it did the last time that we were here.”

Pinkie Pie bounced over to the open door that led to the interior of the castle and stuck her head through it. “You know, this wouldn’t be such a bad place if it didn’t have this spooky forest all around it.”

“It looks a lot like the palace in Canterlot,” said Fluttershy. “I guess that makes sense, though, since it used to be where the Princesses lived a long time ago.”

Twilight tilted her head back and gazed up at the upper reaches of the castle. “I suppose we should try to head up to one of the upper balconies. It would probably be easier to do this if we’re closer to the portal.”

With that, the six Bearers and their two humanoid companions began their trek through the dilapidated castle. The trip was mostly uneventful, aside from the occasional pebble breaking loose and echoing through the empty halls as it clattered around. Eventually they reached a room that somehow seemed to be a lot less timeworn than the rest of the castle. Something about it piqued Twilight’s memories and her eyes widened as she realized what it was.

“This… this looks like…” The unicorn gazed around at the room. “I believe that this used to be the personal chambers of Princess Celestia. It looks rather similar to the ones she has back in Canterlot.”

“Indeed it is, Twilight Sparkle,” said an unexpected new voice. The ponies, Riker, and Worf whirled around to see Princess Luna entering the room behind them. Worf glanced down at his tricorder and frowned, given that he hadn’t detected her presence at all, prior to her sudden appearance. Either she had only just arrived, or she had been somehow masking her presence until now.

“P-princess Luna!” said Twilight. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

Luna strode slowly into the room and looked around. “I’m not entirely sure why I’m here, myself. It’s just… when I heard from my sister that this is where you all would be coming, I just wanted to be here. I can’t really explain it. In fact, I haven’t even thought about this place much at all since… the last time we were here.” She let her voice trail off, as she was unwilling to bring up the circumstances surrounding the last time they had all been there.

“Why does this room look less run down than the rest of the castle?” asked Riker.

“That I do not know,” said the Princess of the Moon.

“That would be my doing,” said another new voice, one that was familiar to all of them. With a burst of light and sound, Pony-Q appeared in the middle of the room, next to Luna. “I couldn’t bear to let the ravages of time take this room as it has everything else. Call it silly sentimentality on my part, if you want.”

“Why are you here, Discord?” said Luna, dangerously.

“Sheath your claws, Luna,” said the entity. “I have no quarrel with you, as much as I know that disappoints you. I am merely here to make sure that nothing goes awry at the last minute. This is, after all, the big moment, isn’t it? The moment that all of this has been leading up to: the opening of the portal to Earth.” He looked around at the Bearers of Harmony and the slightest whiff of impatience entered his voice. “In fact, I would have expected you to have it already opened by now.”

Twilight considered arguing with him, explaining that they’d only just gotten here, but decided there would be no point to it. Instead, she looked toward the balcony and said, “I believe that will be the ideal place to attempt this.” As she and the other ponies moved toward the balcony, along with Riker and Worf, Pony-Q sidled up closer to Princess Luna.

“Ah, this brings back memories, doesn’t it?” he said.

Luna narrowed her eyes as she looked down at him. “Are you sure you wish to stir such memories within me? None of my memories involving you are pleasant ones.”

The entity smiled and said, “Well, then perhaps we can create some new ones here and now. The opening of this portal will mean the dawn of a new age for this world. I won’t take all the credit for it, but… well, I guess it’s safe to say that this moment wouldn’t be happening at all without me, right?”

Luna merely snorted and then ignored him completely as she walked out to join the others on the balcony.

“Hmph,” muttered Pony-Q. “That’s what passes for gratitude these days, I guess.” He watched through the open doors and smiled as the Elements of Harmony began to glow, the eyes of the Bearers became milky white, and the Rainbow of Light began to form. It was a much more pleasant sight now than it was the last time he saw it.

Vice Admiral Alynna Nechayev leaned back in her chair in her office at Starfleet Command headquarters and rubbed her eyes, glad for the brief respite from her duties. The last few days had been rather tense. The sudden disappearance of the USS Enterprise had been a top priority ever since the ship had failed to reach its destination several days earlier.

The respite was short-lived, however, as the voice of one her aides sounded through the communications panel on her desk, “Admiral, you have a Priority One communiqué waiting for you from Captain Jellico of the USS Cairo.”

Nechayev sighed and said, “Patch it through to my office.” She turned the viewing screen on the desk around to face her. A few seconds later, the screen winked to life and the face of Captain Jellico appeared. “Hello, Edward,” she said. “You have good news for me, I hope?”

The frown on the captain’s face answered her question before he even began speaking. “I am afraid not, Admiral. We’ve scanned the entire sector surrounding the last known location of the Enterprise. We have found absolutely nothing that would give us even the slightest indication as to what could have happened to her. There’s no sign of debris to indicate that she’s been destroyed, at least, but it’s like the ship has simply vanished into thin air.”

“That… is rather unfortunate,” said Nechayev. “I was hoping that there would be at least something out there to give us a clue as to what happened.”

Jellico sighed and said, “It’s a shame to lose such a fine ship like the Enterprise. I’ve heard plenty of stories about her and her crew. From all accounts, Jean-Luc Picard was a damn fine captain. I wish I could have met him.”

“You may yet get a chance to meet him someday, Captain,” said Nechayev. “I wouldn’t be so quick to write off the Enterprise. As history has shown us time and time again, rather strange things tend to happen to ships that carry that name. Continue the search and keep me informed. Nechayev out.”

Once the connection was closed, the admiral leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes again, sighing with frustration. She hardly had time to even begin processing what she’d been told by Jellico, however, when red alert klaxons were suddenly blaring throughout the building.

“What in the hell?” she said. It was a rare event indeed when something happened to raise a red alert at the very heart of Starfleet Command.

“Admiral!” shouted the voice of her aide over the comm channel. “Planetary defenses have lit up! Something… something is happening over Iowa!”

“You can be more specific than that, ensign!” barked Nechayev. “Give me some info here!” Rather than waiting for the aide to respond, she started rapidly typing keys on the pad in front of the screen through which she had been speaking with the Cairo.

The aide’s voice sounded incredibly nervous as he said, “There appears to be some sort of… wormhole forming in orbit above Iowa. It is extending down several miles into the atmosphere as well. There appears to be something coming through it. It looks like… like…” The aide’s voice trailed off.

“I’ll be damned,” muttered Nechayev, in great shock of her own. Her screen was giving her a visual feed of what was going on in space above the state of Iowa. Assuming her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, it appeared that a Galaxy-class starship was beginning to emerge from this newly formed wormhole. She could clearly see the registry on the hull of the ship: NCC-1701-D.

“Admiral,” said the aide once again, “there’s something else coming through the wormhole as well, but lower in the atmosphere. I… I don’t… surely there’s some sort of sensor malfunction, because it appears to be… winged horses!”

“So… this is it, huh,” said Q2. He and Q were standing on the highest point atop Starfleet Command headquarters and were looking down into the courtyard. Far below them, in the gardens, they could see the tiny figures of humans and ponies. Picard, Princess Luna, and the six Bearers of Harmony were meeting with several high-ranking members of Starfleet Command and the Federation Council. “The big pay-off.”

“Yeah, this is it,” said Q. He turned to his companion. “See? I told you it was nothing that would interest the Continuum. What do they care if there’s one more wormhole connecting two worlds?”

“Why go to all the trouble, though?” asked Q2. “You could have just opened the portal yourself. You didn’t have to bring the Enterprise all the way out there for that.”

Q turned his eyes back down to the meeting happening down below. “This was never about just linking the two worlds. I was far more interested in having my favorite little ponies meet my favorite little humans and then seeing how they would get along with one another.”

“So, would you consider your experiment a success?” asked Q2.

“Resounding,” said Q. He smiled as a short flash of bright yellow light heralded the arrival of Princess Celestia herself on Earth. For the briefest of moments after she arrived, she looked up in his direction and caught his eye. Q tossed his hand up in a lazy wave. She nodded at him almost imperceptibly and then turned to face the rest of those gathered nearby, none of whom had noticed this exchange. Q nodded. “Yes, I do indeed think it was all a huge success, if I do say so myself.”

The End

Author's Note

Author’s Notes (07-29-2012): Now with 100% less Doctor Whooves. I got some not unjustified complaints about shoehorning him into the previous fic in a totally pointless throw-away scene, just for the sake of having a totally pointless throw-away Doctor Whooves cameo in that fic.

Anyway, spoilers abound from this point forward, so read the actual fic first.

When I started writing this, I had no idea it was going to end up being almost three times as long as my previous fic (it was around 37,000 words whereas this one clocks in at almost 100,000 words o_O). I was expecting around the same length, or maybe almost double at the very most, though I thought that would have been pushing it. But the thing just wrote itself. These guys kept wanting to do things that I had no idea they’d be doing before I started writing. For instance, the only things I knew for sure I wanted to do before I started was that Pinkie Pie would become a Q-like being, and that Rainbow Dash and Worf would fight (and, yes, Worf does indeed use what was essentially a shoryuken against Rainbow Dash, though I’m sure he calls the move an appropriately Klingon name or something). At first, I was going to have Pinkie be the one who was upgrading the weapons in the Enterprise with her Q-like powers, but then I came up with the whole thing with Pinkie getting “assimilated,” which freed up the weapons for Twilight (and Celestia’s nebulous, unseen “magical advisors”) to tinker with. This of course, led to the entirely unplanned bit with Twilight getting hurt and then almost dying, mainly because I wanted to have at least one more dramatic scene take place. That and I wanted to give Pinkie a chance to mimic another Q scene (from “Tapestry”). That’s how it went.

So… about Pinkie Pie. Oh, Pinkie Pie. Here’s the funny thing. As I was originally watching the show, I found Pinkie Pie to be kind of annoying. She was actually my least favorite character. (Well, aside from the Cutie Mark Crusaders, that is. I have no problem really with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, or especially Scootaloo as individuals, but I hated me some CMC together, mainly because each of their episodes was just the same thing being rehashed over and over again. But then, of course, all four of them, the CMC and Pinkie that is, ended up being the very first of the main character ponies that the TNG guys even encountered. Go figure.) But, Pinkie started to grow on me as I was writing this fic, and as I kept going back and watching scenes of hers in the course of researching this fic. (Oh, and speaking of researching the fic, to go off on another short tangent, I actually went out and bought a bottle of prune juice. True story. Not really a fan, I have to say. My reaction to it is probably somewhere about half-way between Pinkie’s and Scootaloo’s. Finally managed to finish the damn bottle after almost a month.) Anyway, the fic started off with this premise: what if all those weird little things that Pinkie does really were indicative of her being more than she seems, rather than merely comic relief. This idea actually grew out of my previous fic, where Q explicitly says that Pinkie has latent powers that would put her almost on par with a Q. Sure, I’m not the first to come up with such an idea (thanks TVTropes and whoever else), but still. Yeah. Anyway, Pinkie Pie is not nearly so bad once you get to know her. Same goes for the CMC as well.

And now to discuss the Twilight Sparkle slash Riker ship. Um… yeah. I know that’s probably going to rub some people the wrong way. The whole thing ballooned way out of proportion from what I initially had in mind, which was itself just born out of another whim I had while writing the first pass. It was originally going to be just a few throw-away scenes, intended solely for the purpose of giving a little extra, unnecessary drama to Twilight’s existence during the fic (for the amusement of myself, at least, if nobody else). I mean, I knew all along that it wasn’t really going to go anywhere. I knew they weren’t going to “hook up” or anything, in other words. But it just kind of grew out of control. I wanted to have bits where Twilight would be all shy and blushing around Riker… while trying to keep such a thing in character for Twilight. But then I had to go and have others notice Twilight being all shy and blushing around Riker… and then I had to have Twilight need to deal with this somehow… and then it all just became this big ol’ Thing™. And then I was like, well how do I resolve this Thing™ now? And, so… I guess I didn’t really resolve it at all. She’s still just kind of crushing on him in the end, even if she knows he doesn’t feel the same way (though there are vague-ish hints that he might not be as unwilling to give it a shot as he claims, but I really didn’t want to go there >_>;). Anyway, for those who may enjoy that whole Thing™, (Fluttershy) yay (/Fluttershy). For those who don’t, well, I can totally dig why that would be the case, too. (I’ve been slowly working my way through the various Star Trek series over the past year or two and am currently up to Deep Space Nine. I was surprised and highly amused when I recently watched the episode “Melora.” Jadzia Dax shared a story with the title character of that episode that was very similar to the one Riker shares with Twilight in this fic, except that in Dax’s story, it was a Lothra and an Oxygene, rather than a Horta and a Medusan. That was entirely coincidental on my part, though I suppose it’s possible that when I first wrote that scene, I was channeling this episode based on vague memories of when I first viewed it almost two decades ago.)

My main worry about this fic, however, is all the interminable talking. It just goes on and on and on and on. I tried my best to spruce it up as much as I could, and to have Q hang a lampshade on it from time to time, but there are just too many scenes where they’re all simply standing around and talking. And talking. And talking some more. I feel that these scenes are still important scenes, for the most part, it’s just that they’re way too… inactive. It’s one of the main reasons I tried to split the main six up as often as I could, because it’s most noticeable when they’re all in one place, especially the scenes where it’s them and Picard and Riker and Q and Princess Celestia and Spike and the CMC and whoever else just happens to be there, standing around gabbing it up. Of course, on the other hand, it is Next Gen. They did an awful lot of talking on Next Gen. And, for me personally, while I do like the scenes where there are spaceships flying around shooting phasers and torpedoes at each other, or guys with hand weapons blasting each other with energy death, or Worf killing a fool with a bat’leth or whatever, I actually much preferred the scenes where the crew were just, you know, sitting around and playing poker or hanging out in Ten Forward, so I think this influenced my writing.

Oh and here’s a not-so-quick note about timeline stuff, and some major problems with it that I realized I had long after getting into it, but eventually decided to just flat out say screw it. It doesn’t really bother me enough to try to make it work, but it does bother me enough that I’m going to rant about it here. Okay, so here’s the deal. As far as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is concerned, this fic takes place not too long after the season 2 finale “A Canterlot Wedding.” As far as Star Trek: The Next Generation is concerned, this fic takes place at some point between the season 6 episode “Rascals” and the two-parter “Chain of Command” (or between “Rascals” and the first Deep Space Nine pilot episode “Emissary,” whichever happened to come first between “Chain” and “Emissary”). The reason for this is that “Rascals” is the last appearance of Miles O’Brien on TNG, and “Chain” is the one where Captain Jellico takes over the Enterprise. (All of this means that, as far as Q is concerned, “True Q” has occurred as of this fic, but “Tapestry” has not.) Anyway, neither of these things matter all that much in and of themselves. It’s when you combine them, and then on top of that try to relate it all back to my previous fic that this becomes a problem. See, in my previous fic (“The Quandary of DisQord”), I said that the TNG pilot episode “Encounter at Farpoint” occurred shortly after the FiM two-parter “The Return of Harmony.” The framing story for “Quandary” occurred right after the TNG season 3 ep “Deja Q,” which occurred about two years or so after “Farpoint” (if you assume a season counts as a full year). And now, “Rascals” occurred about three years after “Deja Q.” See the problem here? A total of around five to six years passed between “Encounter at Farpoint” and the beginning of DS9. But, of course, that many years have not passed between “The Return of Harmony” and “A Canterlot Wedding.” Only a year or so at the most has passed between those. So… for anyone else that is really bothered by this, just… I dunno, chalk it up to “complex temporal and spatial technobabble” and apply the MST3K Mantra to it. That’s what I’ve ended up deciding to do. Hell, maybe this is the revenge of Doctor Whooves, given that I didn’t mention him at all in this fic.

Some other minor things… many thanks to both the MLP:FiM wiki and Memory Alpha, the Star Trek wiki. For instance, I’d remembered in “Melora” that she and Bashir had eaten some Klingon food and that it specifically wasn’t just a bunch of nasty meat dishes like it was in the TNG ep “A Matter Of Honor”, but hell if I’d have been able to remember the names of them without looking them up on the wiki.

(Update 08-05-2012) Removed the "Deleted Scene".

(Update 01-19-2013) Moved the author's notes down to this spiffy new "Author's Notes" section.

Planetfall

Chapter 2 - Planetfall

The away team materialized on a small, wooded hill, the same one that Pony-Q had been on earlier in fact, though they were not aware of this. When the transporter beams had fully faded away, both Worf and Data pulled out their tricorders and began scanning the area. Riker and Troi merely looked around. Down the hill, maybe a little over a mile away, was the town that Q had pointed out to them. There also appeared to be a farm at the base of the hill, a bit to the south and west in relation to the town. Beyond that was the forest that Q had warned them about.

“Do you sense anything, Deanna?” asked Riker.

“Yes,” said Troi. “Yes I do.” She looked around in wonder. “It’s amazing. It’s almost as if… as if everything is alive, and teeming with emotion and intelligence.”

Riker looked around the area a bit more cautiously than he had earlier. “Are you saying they already know we’re here?”

Worf said, “I do not detect any life signs in our immediate vicinity, sir, aside from smaller creatures such as birds and other forest animals.”

Troi glanced up into the nearby trees. “That’s just it. What I feel seems to be coming from every creature, including the birds and squirrels and other such animals.”

Data slowly scanned his tricorder back and forth. “It is remarkable how similar much of the flora and fauna of this world is to that of Earth,” he said.

“They’re not, though,” said Troi. “They may look the same, and may even be physically similar, but they’re not mentally the same at all. When I sense a bird on Earth or Betazed, there is, at most, a vague sort of rudimentary awareness, but that’s about it. The emotions are very simple, things like basic hunger or fear of predators, things of that nature. Here, however, it seems to be much more complex than that. Even some of the plants seem to possess this quality. The ponies may be the dominant species on this planet, but I don’t think they’re the only sapient species here at all.”

Worf carefully swept his tricorder around the area and said, “Do you sense any hostile intent?”

Troi shook her head. “I sense nothing like that. They are definitely aware of us being here, but I only sense curiosity… wonder… a slight amount of understandable wariness, perhaps, but no malicious intent.”

Riker looked up into the trees. He caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a blue jay. The bird looked directly at him, cocked its head to the side, and flew away. “Well, let’s start making our way toward the town, but for now let’s try to remain hidden, at least from the ponies, anyway. If these other creatures are capable of communicating with them, however, I doubt we will remain concealed for very long.” The away team began walking in the general direction of the nearby town.

After only a few minutes, Data held up a hand and they stopped. “I believe I hear voices, Commander. They are coming from this direction.” The away team slowly began to advance toward the source of the voices, while trying to remain hidden as well as they could.

“…should we do today?” a childlike female voice could be heard saying.

“Well, let’s take a look at the list,” said a second voice, also childlike and female.

“Got it,” said a third, similarly female and childlike voice.

Data silently pointed upward. Riker looked up and saw a treehouse. He broke into a grin which Troi mirrored. Data and Worf pointed their tricorders at the structure.

The third voice said, “The list for yesterday shows that we tried bein’ Cutie Mark Crusader librarians, short order cooks, mailmares-”

“I still think it was Derpy’s fault that one didn’t work out,” the second voice broke in sourly.

“Oh hush,” said the third voice, “it wasn’t her idea that you and her both try to ride on yer scooter together to make deliverin’ the mail go faster, y’know.”

“Well, her mistakenly covering my eyes with her hooves instead of her own while she screamed like a newborn foal didn’t really help things,” said the second voice. “And since I couldn’t see, it’s not my fault we all crashed into that merchant stall… and that pile of crates… and Big Macintosh…”

“Big Mac was still a bit sore in the rump even this mornin’,” said the third voice.

“I said I was sorry!” said the second voice. “Sheesh!”

“Guys, we’re getting off track here,” said the first voice.

“Right, so where was I?” said the third voice. “Oh, yeah. After mailmares… let’s see, we tried bein’ Cutie Mark Crusader blacksmiths, trapeze artists, …garbage-ponies… eugh, yeah, I’m glad that one didn’t work out… and then…”

The third voice continued reading off the list while the away team eavesdropped on them. Riker could have sworn he heard “quantum physicist” as one of the several things called out, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Before he could consider that for more than a few seconds, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to face Data.

“Commander,” said Data in a whisper, “an enquiry.”

“Yes, Data?” whispered Riker in return.

“What is a… Cutie Mark Crusader?” asked the android, tilting his head. “For that matter, what is a cutie mark?”

Riker opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He glanced up at the treehouse again, then back at Data. “Mr. Data, I don’t have the slightest clue.”

Troi smiled and said, “Come now, Will, surely you and your friends had a club like this when you were a child.”

Riker thought back to his youth and smiled. Before he could say anything in response, however, the voices in the treehouse broke out into a loud fit of giggles.

“Okay, so what do we do today?” asked the first voice again.

“I know!” said the second. “Let’s try being Cutie Mark Crusader astronauts!”

“What’s an aster… nut?” said the third voice. “Is that some kinda food?”

“Astronaut!” said the second voice again. “It’s a… it’s a… well… I’m not entirely sure what it means, but it’s a word I saw in one of the comic books I borrowed from Rainbow Dash. I asked her what it meant and she didn’t really know either, but she said it sounded pretty radical. Anyway, the comic book was about a bunch of ponies in these awesome looking white suits with fishbowls on their heads and they were all floating waaaaay up in the night sky in a flying boat.”

“Oooh!” said the first voice. “That sounds like fun! And then what happened?”

The second voice was really wound up now. “They all got covered by some kind of weird glowy dust and then all of them gained magical powers! Even the earth ponies and pegasi were able to do crazy things! And the unicorn’s powers got even cooler!”

Troi looked at Riker with widened eyes and mouthed the words “Pegasi?” and “Unicorns?” Riker shook his head and shrugged.

“Wow!” said the other two voices.

“But… wait,” said the third voice. “How do we get up there, though? You said they had a flyin’ boat?”

“It looked more like a flying train, actually,” said the second voice. “I don’t have any idea what it was, to be honest.”

“Well, that’s disappointing,” said the first voice. “Wait! I know! Let’s go ask Twilight Sparkle! She knows everything!”

“Er…” said the third voice. “Do you think it’s safe goin’ back to the library so soon? Ya know, after what happened yesterday?”

“Oh come on,” said the second voice. “We only spilled ink on a few of those dusty old books. I’m sure she’s not all that mad at us anymore.”

“What about the ones that got burned up?” asked the first voice.

“That was Spike’s fault!” said the third voice.

“Only because you stepped on his tail while he was carrying that big armload of books and he yelped out a bunch of dragon fire on them!” said the second voice.

If possible, Troi’s eyes got even wider. “Dragon?” she mouthed to Riker, who merely shrugged again.

“Still,” said the first voice. “She’s the only lead we’ve got. Even if none of the books in her library can tell us how to make a flying boat or train or whatever, maybe she’ll at least let us borrow her hot air balloon for a little while.”

“Yeah!” said the second voice. “That sounds awesome!”

“C’mon, guys, let’s go!” said the third voice.

At the sudden sound of motion coming from the treehouse, the away team ducked farther back into cover. After a few seconds, three small creatures exited out of the treehouse and quickly scrambled down to the ground. One of them, an orange pony with short pinkish-purple mane and tail, jumped on a scooter that was parked at the base of the tree. The other two, one a yellow pony with red mane and tail and a big pink bow in her hair and the other a white pony with purple/pink striped mane and a horn on her head, hopped up into a wagon that was attached to the back of the scooter, each of them affixing helmets to their heads. With a lot of giggling from all three of them, the one on the scooter started flapping her small wings and (accompanied by a sound weirdly like that of a small combustion engine) the three of them headed off for the town.

“Counselor, are you all right?” asked Worf sharply.

Riker looked over at Troi, who was covering her mouth with her hands and staring after the three with wide eyes. “Deanna?” said Riker, concern in his voice.

Troi dropped her hands from her mouth and turned to face Riker. “They’re… so… adorable!” she squeaked. It was the biggest smile Riker had seen on her face in quite a while, almost as big as when he’d given her that authentic, non-replicated Ktarian chocolate puff for her birthday last year.

Riker grinned, while Worf narrowed his eyes and Data just looked confused. “Well, Counselor, I certainly agree with you, but don’t let it get in the way of your judgment. We still don’t know anything about these people. Still… those three really did seem very similar to human children in behavior, didn’t they?”

Worf grumbled. “They certainly don’t act like Klingon children.”

“Really, Mr. Worf?” said Riker, his grin getting bigger. “You never had make-believe adventures as a child?”

“I…” said Worf. Then he narrowed his eyes again. “I prefer not to discuss it.”

Data looked in the direction that the three small ponies had taken and said, “Commander, if I may make a suggestion, those three seemed to hold the one they called Twilight Sparkle with a high degree of respect. Perhaps we should seek out her aid as well. She could be a good source of information, particularly given that her occupation is apparently that of a librarian.”

Riker pondered for a bit, and then said, “Sounds like a good plan. We still have to get over the hurdle of official first contact first, however. Well, I think we’ve learned all we can here for the time being. Let’s continue on.” With that, the away team started moving toward the town again.

“Jean-Luc,” said Q, his voice heavy with boredom, “your away team is far too cautious.” They had since left the ready room and returned to the bridge. Picard was sitting in his command chair and reading something on a PADD, while Q was lounging in Troi’s chair. “They’re still skulking about in the woods.”

“That’s only natural in a situation like this,” said Picard, not even bothering to look up from what he was reading. “There are far too many unknowns to go blindly charging in.” ‘Especially when you are involved,’ he thought, but left unvoiced.

Q huffed. “I’ve already told you. These ponies are absolutely no threat to you or your people. Well, okay, it’s true that they could cause some serious damage if they kicked you and some of them could easily fry you to a crisp if you got them riled up, but you’d have to be actively trying to anger them before it got to that point.”

Picard set his PADD aside and stared at Q. “Fry to a crisp? What have you gotten my people into down there, Q?!”

Q shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. “I’m just speaking about remote possibilities. These are just things that they could do, just as your people could cut loose with those horrible little hand phasers and disintegrate half of the town if they were so inclined, or you could order a salvo of photon torpedoes to be launched down at them. I’d say that the probability of any of those things occurring is roughly equal and near to zero, at least not without some serious provocation from one side or the other.”

“I take it you’ve had first hand experience with provoking them?” asked Picard.

“At one point in time, yes,” said Q. “Granted, even the strongest of them couldn’t actually harm me at all, at least not without the rest of the Continuum giving them a little help at one point, anyway, but it was still a most interesting experience. Not one that I’m inclined to speak with you about at this point in time, however.”

“Hmm, so humanity is not the first species that you’ve been punished by the Q Continuum for treating like lab rats, it seems,” mused Picard.

“I’ve never treated you like lab rats,” said Q indignantly. “Well… okay, maybe a little bit at first, but I’ve learned my lesson.”

“Then why are we here, now?” asked Picard, raising an eyebrow.

“I told you, Jean-Luc,” said Q. “This is not a test. This is not some sort of game. This is just a… meet-and-greet, for lack of a better term. Is it really so bad that I want some of my friends to meet each other and get along? It’s just that I know these ponies, and I know you humans, and I know the two of you will get on famously.” Q’s smile then turned to an impatient frown as he added, “Or at least, you would get along if your away team would stop pussyfooting around and just get on with it, already.” Q tapped his chin for a bit. “You know what? I think I’m going to have to step in and speed things along a little bit… Ah, there we go. That’s better.”

“What did you do, Q?!” said Picard.

“You’ll find out,” said Q, with a wink that infuriated the Captain.

The away team was still covertly moving through the woods as they slowly approached the town, and were already in sight of some ponies milling about in the distance, when suddenly, from behind them, a voice sounded out. “Ah, there you are!”

Riker whirled around, his hand instinctively going for his phaser, though he didn’t actually pull it out yet. He glanced at Worf and saw that the Klingon had indeed drawn his. Standing there was a burgundy colored pony with a brown mane and tail. On its flank was the insignia of a Starfleet officer, along with four solid yellow pips underneath it, all of which was overlaid onto a field of black that covered most of the pony’s flank. All of that, combined with the voice, led Riker to only one conclusion. “Q?”

“In the flesh,” said Pony-Q. “What do you think? How do I look?”

“Utterly ridiculous,” said Worf.

“No more so than you always do, Mr. Worf, I’m sure,” said Pony-Q, mild annoyance in his voice. “At least I fit in here. Anyway, what are you all waiting for? You should have reached the town ages ago!”

“We’re trying to determine the best way to go about making first contact here,” said Riker, annoyed. “Isn’t that why you sent us here?”

“I sent you here to make contact, yes,” said Pony-Q. “I didn’t send you here to slink around in the woods merely thinking about doing it someday! And I intend to do something about that.” Before Riker could say anything in response, Pony-Q suddenly galloped forward toward the town and loudly called out, “Look, everypony! We have visitors from another land!” Riker noticed that, for some unknown reason, Q was subtly disguising his voice somewhat from his normal one as he addressed the ponies.

“Dammit, Q!” the first officer hissed, as ponies stopped in their tracks and looked in the direction that the voice had come from, which meant, of course, that they were looking directly at the away team. A murmur of questions could be heard. Riker sighed. “Well, I guess there’s no point in being so discreet any longer.” He stood up straight and slowly approached one of the larger groups of ponies, the rest of the away team following along behind him. He stopped a safe distance away, and held up a hand in greeting. “My name is Commander William Riker, of the Federation starship Enterprise. We are here to visit and learn about this place and its people. We mean you no harm. Is there someone here in a position of authority with whom we may speak?”

At first, the ponies didn’t respond and merely watched the new arrivals while whispering amongst themselves. More and more ponies arrived as the word of the visitors spread like wildfire, but none of them made any moves to approach the away team. Riker remained patiently silent. He’d already announced himself, and now the ball was in their court. After a short while, however, there was a small commotion at the back of the growing crowd of ponies.

“Make way, please!” said a voice, and the ponies moved aside. The away team watched as a tan pony with gray mane and tail and the image of a bound scroll on her flank made her way to the front of the assemblage. “Oh my,” she said when she caught sight of the away team. She slowed her pace and cautiously walked up to them. “Um, hello,” she said when she was a few feet away. “It, uh, is my pleasure to welcome you to Ponyville! You may address me as Miss Mayor or simply the Mayor, though some ponies call me Mayor Mare, and that’s fine, too. If I may ask, from where do you hail?”

Riker nodded and decided that absolute honesty would be the best policy. “My name is Commander William Riker. We come from the Federation starship Enterprise, which is currently in orbit around this planet.”

“Starship? In… orbit?” said the Mayor, glancing momentarily upward. “Are… are you saying you come from… another world?”

“That is correct,” said Riker. “We are part of the United Federation of Planets. My colleagues and I are members of Starfleet, whose primary mission is to explore the galaxy and seek out new civilizations. This is why we are here.” Honesty or not, however, he decided to leave out the part about Q flinging them halfway across the galaxy against their will, at least for the time being anyway.

“Most interesting,” said the Mayor. “And who are your friends there?”

Riker turned and introduced each of the away team members. “This is Lt. Commander Data.” Data nodded once. “Lt. Worf.” Worf gave a brief nod as well. “And this is Counselor Deanna Troi.” Troi smiled and raised a hand in greeting.

The Mayor nodded to each in turn then looked at Riker again. “Well… it’s not everyday that we have visitors from another planet, you know. Hmm, I’m not sure there’s a standard protocol for this sort of thing at all.”

A voice from the back of the crowd that sounded suspiciously like that of Q said, “Well, aside from the party that Pinkie Pie throws for all newcomers, anyway. That’s pretty standard.” There was a smattering of laughter at this. Riker and Troi smiled politely though they obviously had no idea who Pinkie Pie was. Worf bristled slightly at the mention of a party, especially since the suggestion had apparently come from Q.

The Mayor shrugged and said, “Well, I honestly can’t think of a better way for us to become better acquainted with you than at one of Pinkie’s parties. If you’ll follow me, I’ll bring you to Sugarcube Corner and introduce you to her.”

Riker glanced at Troi and she smiled again. “I sense no ill intent whatsoever,” she whispered. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”

Riker nodded and turned back to the Mayor. “Very well. That sounds like a good idea. Please, lead the way.” The Mayor turned and started walking back the way she had come and the away team followed, with a large cluster of ponies following them that only got larger and larger the farther they went. As Riker looked around, he noticed that Pony-Q, after making the suggestion about the party, had since vanished entirely.

“Oooh, this is good,” said Q. He clapped his hands and stood up from Troi’s chair. “A Pinkie Pie party! How wonderful! I’m glad I thought of it.”

“What the devil are you talking about, Q?” said Picard.

“Oh, that’s right,” said Q. “You aren’t able to see what’s going on, are you? I guess I should do something about that, actually.” He regarded the main view screen speculatively. “Yes, that should do nicely.” He snapped his fingers and a large burst of light and sound appeared on the view screen. When it faded away, the panorama of the planet from orbit had been replaced with a view of the proceedings on the planet below. It was as though there was a camera floating a few feet behind and above the away team as they were walking through the town.

“You’ll also be able to hear everything that goes on as well,” said Q. “If you want to talk to them, though, you’ll have to use your communicators, as usual.”

Picard watched in fascination as the away team walked through the town, surrounded by a multitude of multi-colored ponies. “There’s certainly a much larger variety in the color of their coats and manes than there is on Earth,” he mused.

“You haven’t seen the half of it,” said Q, a smirk on his face.

“Their eyes seem much larger and more expressive than those of horses on Earth. And… what are those marks on their flanks?” asked Picard. “Every one of them has a different marking. Some of the smaller ponies don’t seem to have them, however.”

“Those are called cutie marks,” said Q. “When a pony matures, these marks appear on their flanks. They signify to the world whatever it is that makes that pony special and unique, be it a talent or just something they really enjoy doing. Usually, it means a calling in life, though a pony isn’t bound by this, of course. They aren’t always obvious as to their meanings, and it’s all very symbolic and such. So yes, that’s cutie marks, in a nutshell.”

“I… see,” said Picard.

“Ooh, ooh! Something interesting is about to happen,” said Q excitedly.

“What-” began Picard, but Q shushed him.

“Shh, I want to hear this!” said Q. “It should be good.”

Picard glared at Q with narrowed eyes for a moment, but then turned them back to the screen. He had to admit that, despite himself, he was finding this to be a rather fascinating experience.

“I KNEW IT!” shouted a voice from somewhere to Riker’s left. He turned and saw a light green pony with a light blue/white striped mane and tail. This pony had a horn on her head, as well. On her flank was what appeared to be a golden harp or perhaps a lyre. The pony was staring at the away team with eyes widened in shock and something akin to glee. “I was right! They do exist! I knew it!” Then, the pony swooned and staggered to the side. She would have fallen entirely if another pony, this one a cream colored pony with a blue/pink striped mane and tail and what appeared to be wrapped pieces of candy on her flank, hadn’t caught the unicorn and held her up. Riker instinctively started forward to help the pony, but the Mayor stopped him.

“She’ll be all right,” said the Mayor, with a bit of a sigh. “It’s just that… well… this is probably more of a shock to her than it is even to the rest of us.”

“How so?” asked Troi.

“Well, um,” said the Mayor. “I hope you don’t take offense to this, but, to us, humans are nothing more than the stuff of myths and legends. Poor Lyra there just takes those old stories more seriously than most do. Although, given your arrival here, I suppose that means the rest of us should start taking them more seriously ourselves…”

Riker shared a glance with the rest of the away team and noted that they were as surprised by this as he was. “Wait, so you’re saying that you know of humans already? How is that possible?”

“Commander,” said Data, “is it not also true that unicorns and pegasi are considered to be myths and legends on Earth as well? And yet, as we can plainly see, here they are.”

The Mayor’s eyes widened at this. “Is that so? We’re myths to you just the same as you are to us?”

Riker looked at her for a moment, and said, “Well, yes, that is true. But, even so, I don’t understand how we could be the stuff of myths for the people of this world and vice versa. That’s too much to be a coincidence.”

Troi looked around at the assembled ponies, taking special note of the ones with horns or wings. “Is it possible that there was some sort of interaction between the two worlds at some point in the past of both?”

“How could that be?” said Worf, uneasily. “This planet and Earth are almost fifty thousand light years apart from one another. No other Federation ship has ever made it out this far, until now.”

The Mayor frowned and said, “I have a question. You keep saying ‘Earth.’ Is that the name of your world?”

Riker nodded, but then corrected himself. “Well, it’s the name of my world, anyway. Counselor Troi is from a planet called Betazed, Mr. Worf comes from a planet called Qo'noS, and Mr. Data was constructed on a planet called Omicron Theta.”

“Wait… constructed?!” asked the Mayor. “What do you mean by that?”

“I am an android,” said Data.

This didn’t alleviate the Mayor’s confusion in the slightest. “I don’t know what that word means.”

“I am an autonomous machine that was built by humans in their likeness,” explained Data. “An android.”

“Er…” said the Mayor. “So, you’re like a… like a wind-up toy? A clockwork creature of some sort?”

“My internal components do not run by clockwork mechanisms, nor do I need to be… wound up, but the analogy will suffice,” said Data.

“Absolutely amazing,” said the Mayor, then she shook her head. “Oh, but I got distracted from what I was going to ask. About Earth. Your planet is called Earth… but, um, I am what you would call an earth pony. Well, that wasn’t really a question I guess.”

Riker raised an eyebrow. “An earth pony?”

“It’s one of the four pony races on this world,” said the Mayor, “along with the unicorns, the pegasi, and the alicorns.”

“Alicorns?” asked Troi.

“There are only a very rare few alicorns in existence. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, who rule Equestria, are among them,” said the Mayor. “They have the physical attributes and abilities of the other three races combined, and then some. I’m sure they will be most interested to meet with you soon. As for us earth ponies… oh, but look, here we are at Sugarcube Corner!” She turned to the gathered crowd that had been following them and said, “Okay, everypony. Let’s return to our business for the time being. We don’t want to smother our visitors so soon after they’ve arrived. There will be plenty of opportunity to meet them at the official gathering later.” With some grumbling, the crowd reluctantly started to disperse.

The away team looked at the building before then with mild surprise. The whole thing was built to look as through it were made out of cake and frosting.

“It appears to be a confectionary establishment,” said Data. “I do not believe that I have ever seen one that so closely resembles the goods being sold, however.”

“That’s right,” said the Mayor. “The Cakes run the place, and Pinkie Pie lives with them and helps out. Well, shall we go inside? I know that she’ll be more than delighted to meet you.”

Riker looked around at the other away team members and then nodded. “When in Rome, as they say.”

“Commander,” said Data quizzically, “we are not in Rome.”

“It’s… just an expression, Data,” said Troi, attempting to stifle her grin.

Data tilted his head for a moment, and then said, “Ah. I understand. Then… we should indeed do as the Romans do.”

Troi smiled at him and nodded, then turned to the Klingon. “Coming, Mr. Worf?”

“If I must,” muttered Worf darkly. “This place looks much too… festive… for my taste.”

“Buck up, Lieutenant,” said Riker, grinning. “A little bit of levity won’t kill you, will it?”

“I… suppose not,” Worf conceded. He followed Troi and Data inside while Riker held the door for them.

Meanwhile, the Mayor was already addressing Mrs. Cake. The blue earth pony’s eyes widened when she saw who had followed the Mayor in. “Hello, Cup,” said the Mayor. “Is Pinkie Pie available, or is she out with her friends?”

Mrs. Cake stared wide-eyed at the away team for bit, before shaking her pink striped mane out of her eyes and turning to the Mayor. “She’s just upstairs, tucking the twins in for their afternoon nap-time. She should be back down in a bit.” Her eyes drifted back to the away team. “So, uh…”

“Ah yes,” said the Mayor. “These are visitors from the… er… what did you say your ship was called again?”

“The Enterprise,” said Riker.

“Right, the Enterprise,” said the Mayor with a nod.

“But they’re… they’re…” stammered Mrs. Cake.

“Not from this planet, yes,” said the Mayor. “They’re here on a mission of exploration, and are-”

“Humans!” spat out Mrs. Cake loudly.

“SHHHH!!!” hissed a voice from a door opposite the entrance. “The foals are sleeping!” Then the voice returned to normal and said, “Oh hi, Miss Mayor!” Riker looked toward the newcomer and saw a bright pink pony with a darker pink mane and tail. The mark on her flank was of three balloons, two blue and one yellow.

“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” said the Mayor. “I’d like to introduce your to our guests.”

Pinkie Pie noticed the away team for the first time. Her eyes went super-wide and she screamed “HUMANS!” about three times as loudly as Mrs. Cake had earlier. At the winces from Mrs. Cake and the Mayor, she cringed and grinned sheepishly. After twisting her ears back toward the doorway for a moment to make sure she hadn’t awakened the twins, she then hopped over to the away team.

“Wow! Where did you come from?! Did you come from the other side of the rainbow like in the old stories?!” said Pinkie.

“Pinkie, I want to-” said the Mayor.

Pinkie Pie was in full on babble mode though, and didn’t hear her. “What’s it like there?! Oooh, I bet it’s super fun! Can I visit?! Oh, but I have to go tell my friends right away! They’d never let me hear the end of it if I went off to visit the human world without telling them first! I-”

“Pinkie Pie!” said the Mayor forcefully, grabbing Pinkie by the shoulders with both front hooves.

“Oh, sorry,” said Pinkie, grinning again.

“As I was saying, our visitors are here on a mission of exploration from a ship named the Enterprise. This is Commander Riker,” she said gesturing to Riker, and then she introduced Troi, Data, and Worf in turn as well. “We’re here because I want you to throw a party for them. A ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, if you will.”

“A party?” said Pinkie Pie excitedly. “You definitely came to the right pony! I’ll get started right away! I’ll need streamers and confetti for my party cannon, of course, and then I-”

“Pinkie, no,” said the Mayor. “No party cannon. I want this to be a bit more… subdued than your usual affairs. I want a simple soirée, where ponies can come and meet with our visitors in a comfortable setting.”

“Well, okay,” said Pinkie, with a tinge of disappointment. “I guess I can tone it down a teensy bit.”

“And that also means no pranks,” said the Mayor sternly.

“Aw, how boring,” said Pinkie with a pout.

“Pinkie,” said the Mayor again, looking her in the eye carefully.

“All right, all right,” Pinkie groused. “No pranks, just lots of food and drinks. Can I at least set up some games?”

“No games, Pinkie,” said the Mayor. “Simple, I said!”

“Aw,” said Pinkie. “This isn’t going to be much of a party!”

“Pinkie, please, just this once?” said the Mayor. “You can throw wild, boisterous parties whenever you want, but how often do you get a chance to plan a more sedate get together? Think of this as a challenge.”

Pinkie sighed heavily and said, “All right. I’ll take your challenge! I may not like it, but I’ll do my best. Oh, but it’ll be really really really difficult.” She started toward the door. “Hmm, I doubt Octavia and her group will be available on such short notice, but maybe I can swing by their place and see if Vinyl’s free this evening, at least.”

“No, Pinkie! No band and no DJ!” said the Mayor. “Simple! Quiet!”

“Oh come on!” said Pinkie, stopping at the door and turning back to the mayor in frustration. “This is going to be even worse than the Grand Galloping Gala! Even that had music at least! Argh!” She paused and took a few deep breaths. “Okay… well, this might take a bit longer to put together than one of my usual parties, then. I’m not entirely sure how to go about setting up such a snore-fest. Oh, I know! I’ll go ask Twilight Sparkle! I’m sure she’ll know what to do!” With that, Pinkie hurried out the door.

The away team shared glances with one another and the Mayor. Worf grumbled, “Is that one always so… frantic?”

The Mayor smiled sympathetically. “Eh heh heh… you get used to it after a while. But she really is the best party planner around. It’s just that she tends to go a bit, um… overboard… at times.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” said Mrs. Cake. “Well now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go start baking up some desserts for this party.” That said, she turned and went back into the kitchen, leaving the away team alone with the Mayor.

Data said, “Pardon me, Miss Mayor, but this is twice now that we have heard mention of the name Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh, yes,” said the Mayor, with a smile. “Twilight Sparkle, such a lovely filly she is. She’s one of Pinkie Pie’s closest friends. She runs the library and even lives there as well, actually. Oh, and she’s also a personal student of Princess Celestia herself! She moved here from Canterlot - that’s our capital city in the mountain to the northeast - around two years ago or thereabouts.”

“That would explain why the ponies here seem to revere her as a source of information and advice,” said Data. “Would it be possible for us to meet with her at some point?”

“Yes, she’s very smart, that one,” said the Mayor, nodding. “And I’m sure she’ll definitely be here at the party later, so you can meet her then.”

“We look forward to it,” said Troi.

“Oh what a total bore that Mayor is!” said Q, sighing heavily. “It pains me deep in my soul to see such restraints put upon poor Pinkie Pie. She should be unbound! Free from the shackles of the common man and pony!” He turned to Picard. “We’re kindred spirits, you know, she and I.”

Picard tried very hard to think of something to say that would be insulting enough to Q without being too unfair to the pink pony he’d just witnessed on the view screen, but ultimately decided it would be best to just remain silent.

Q nodded as though he’d just made up his mind about something. “Ah well. I suppose it’ll have to be up to me to inject a little life into what will otherwise be a dreadfully dull party.”

“What are you planning, Q?” said Picard warily. Q smiled and opened his mouth to speak, but Picard cut him off. “No, let me guess. ‘You’ll see soon enough,’ right?”

“You’re a quick learner, Jean-Luc,” said Q with a wide, toothy grin.

Picard just sighed in resignation.