Mash and Crash

by TheKMExperience

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Button Mash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Science Fiction, Rumble, Slice of Life
Length: 18983

Geeks Rock!

When a defect experiment encounters a lonely colt, a partnership forms and many adventures are up ahead.

Published 2018-09-04 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-09 17:53:01 UTC

When Worlds Collide

"My name is Button, Button '8-Bit' Mash, current game champion of 'Haybusters' and overall cool colt. Everypony at school calls me N.E.R.D, which I think stands for:
(e)Normous
Extremely
Radical
Dude...

Or maybe I'm just an obsessed game fanatic/outcast, take your pick.

As you can tell, I'm not that skilled, socially. Other than my mother, the Crusaders are my only friends. AppleBloom's kind and honest, Scootaloo's awesome...

And then there's Sweetie Belle...

Sheesh, where to begin? Other than being more fun than a bonus level in the grassland stages, prettier than Princess Nectarine in 'Cheerio and Squigee' and can carry a tune better than the Game-Guy theme...she's cool, I guess...

But enough about that. A few days ago, I encountered a strange creature in town. A being of an unknown origin: a tall talking APE! Insane, I know! I wonder if my Poné-mon ball can contain this specimen.

NOTE: Don't mistake souvenir weapons for the real deal. Awkward situations are eminent.

Anyways, my story begins one fateful night where my life changed...slightly for the better.

B.M. out!

NOTE: Gotta stop calling myself that."

It's a peaceful night in Equestria. The stores are closed, school is over, the captivating light of Princess Luna's moon and fillies and colts are hitting the hay...

Except for one.

Yes, the spunky colt is wide awake intensely playing the recently released 'Super Bash Pones' on the Neightendo Switch when an irritated tan coated mare barges in.

"Button '8-Bit' Mash!" she barks angrily.

"Uh oh, she used the FULL name." Button winces.

"It is WAY past your bedtime! You can KO Yowser tomorrow. Bed, now."

"But Moooom! I need to beat him within 24 hours to get a milestone for longest gameplay!" he whines.

The impatient mare snatches the small controller away.

"Bed. NOW." she commands sternly.

In a fearful sprint, Button jumps under the bed sheets.

"I swear, Button. I really wish you'd socialize with foals your age."

"But everypony calls me a nerd, Mom!"

"I personally see that as a compliment. Basically means your smart. Besides, I've never seen that Sweetie Belle friend of yours call you that." she jokes.

Button blushes.

"Zzzz...sleeping now...zzzzz...go away...zzzzz!" he snores dismissively.

"Good night my little pony." she snickers as she turns the draconequus shaped lamp off.

Alone in his dark bedroom, Mash takes his mother's words into account.

"Maybe Mom's right. Maybe I should at least try to talk to somepony. Can't leave multiplayer unplayed." he sighs.

As he dozes off, a faint boom startles the little colt awake.

"What in the hay?"

Button trots up to a window and spots something bright in the sky.

"Cool, a shooting star....that's getting...CLOSER?!"

The blinding light of the shooting "star" grows brighter and brighter as it comes hurling towards the open window until it collides with the screaming colt causing a sickeningly loud THUD.

Button recovers from the assault and finds a toy-sized maneless metal pony on his lap. The sound of hoofsteps grow louder as a voice calls out:

"Button? Are you alright in there?" his mother asks worriedly.

Button hastily stuffs the toy under his bed before his mother barges in again and turning the lamp on.

"Son, what's going on? I heard screaming."

"Yeah, I-I fell outta bed." he states.

She examines the large gap between him and the bed.

"Not going to question it, must've been a nightmare. Just go back to sleep, honey."

"Alright Mom."

As Button goes to "sleep" his mother leaves the room. A moment after the hoofsteps fade, he leaps out of the sheets and pulls out the toy, inspecting it in the moonlight.

"What is this thing, some kind of puppet?" he says to himself.

There, he sees a logo on his belly:

Haybro Toys

"That's where Dad works!"

Suddenly, the toy literally springs to life, accidentally headbutting Button in the process.

*zzzt* "Must- *zzzt* -find- *zzzt* Master." the toy statics.

"Ugh, what?" Button asks, rubbing his cranium.

"I need to- *zzzt*"

"Whoa, woah. Take it easy, my mother thinks I'm asleep." he whispers.

"Apologies, just a minor glit- *zzzt* can't help it-" *zzzt*

The sentient toy begins to fizzle and smoke as he freezes in place.

A frantic Button picks up his Haystation controller and backhoofs the buffering being.

*hic* "Oh, I do dear apologize. How embarrassing." the toy speaks in a sophisticated tone.

"I-It's fine. What are you, exactly?" Button asks.

The metal pony looks at the label on his left arm.

"I believe my label is 'Defect Experiment #191'-oof!" the being says as he trips over his hooves and crashes to the ground.

"I don't think I can memorize all that. I guess I'll just call you...'Crash' then." Button declares helping the pony up. "Name's Button."

Button extends a hoof and Crash stares blankly.

He presses his hoof against his and shakes it up and down.

Like teaching a child...

"Interesting." 'Crash' says in bewilderment.

"So, where'd you come from?" the colt asks.

"I can't seem to recall. It's all a l-l-little fuzzzzzzy." he stutters as smoke began to resurface from the back of where his mane should be.

"Okay, okay. Don't fry yourself. We'll deal with it tomorrow...uh, Crash? You can stop shaking your hoof now."

"Oh sorry. But yes, rest is vital for certain dilemmas like thiiii-"

Crash groggily stops his conclusion.

"Hey Crash are you okay?"

"Loooow powerrrrrrr..." the toy moans.

*CLANK*

Then faceplants on the floor.

"Like I said, we'll deal with it tomorrow." he sighs.

Button drags Crash's body under the bed and goes to sleep.

The next morning, the sleepy pony wakes to the sound of birds chirping and the sun shining brightly.

As he rises out of bed, a sharp pain erupts in his forehead.

"Ugh. *gasp* CRASH!" Button yelps.

He pulls over his covers to find the petrified pony toy thing still unconscious.

The colt picks him up to analyze his figure.

"Now what gives you power, Crashy?"

Revealing the pony to the sunlight to get a better look, Button notices a panel on his back. Soon, a whirring sound echoes throughout the room until it ends with a low BEEP.

"Wow, cool! Sun Power!"

Crash opens his eyes and his joints loosen.

"Hhhhhhhow long was I incapacitated?" the toy asks regaining his composure.

"Eh, pretty much ALL night. I guess sunlight is your power source. Impressive."

"Yep. Solar power energy. Very efficient method I must say." Crash states proudly.

While the two have a geek fest, those all too familiar hoofsteps approach the door.

"Oh horseapples! My mom is coming! Quick, hide!"

Button stuffs Crash under the bed again as the warden walks in.

"Well good morning son. I see you're already up and at 'em?" she greets.

"Hehe, yeah Mom. Wiiide awake." he nervously chuckles.

"Alright, be down for breakfast, you have school today." she requests as she leaves.

"Okay Crash, stay quiet, out of sight and try NOT to look conspicuous!" Button whispers under the bed.

"What was that, hon?" his mother asks.

"Nothing!" Button yells.

After a quick breakfast, the cheeky colt packs his bag and trots off to school.

Along the way, Button feels his bag is slightly heavier than it used to be. As he passes the playground to the schoolhouse, something tilts his pack to the side.

"Homework is dragging me down." he jokes.

"Sorry."

"It's okay...wait, WHAT?!"

Button yanks off his bag and out pops the steel stow away, in plush doll attire.

"CRASH! What are you doing he- and what're you wearing?!"

"You instructed me not to look conspicuous, so I found a plush equine of yours and fashioned a makeshift skin." he states.

"Well I'm taking you home!" he exclaims.

Button stuffs Crash back into his pack and begins carrying the disguised toy off school grounds until a large group of foals trot through, blocking the exit and forcing the two inside.

"This is not good." Button utters.

Author's Note

Yes, it's a midquel/sequel to Anon Begins.

TAnon Begins

MLP: FiM

Adventure

Comedy

Slice of Life

If you were thrown into a world of technicolor ponies, what would you do?

Human

Second Person

Spike

Doctor Whooves

Other

Main 6

Starlight Glimmer

TheKMExperience · 36k words  ·  145  33 · 3.8k views

Milestone: KO'd by Toy

"Okay, let's get to my room." Button whispers.

The young colt creeps his way through the living room upstairs with the curious toy as discreet as possible. Unfortunately, the first step up the stairs creates an audible creak in the silent room.

"Button? Honey, is that you?" his mother calls from the kitchen.

"Oh, buck!" he hisses. "Yes, Mom!"

"How was your day?"

"Fine!"

"It was most intriguing." Crash states.

"Who was that?" she asks.

"N-no one, just me! I-I'm practicing my...puppetry!" Button yells, giving Crash a severe death glare.

"Oooh, how fun! Let me see this!" she says JUST as the colt reaches the last step.

Defeated, he walks back down toward the kitchen, frantically fitting Crash into his disguise.

As he walks into the room, he holds Crash like a puppet and presents it to his mother.

"And what's this one's name?" she asks playfully. "He kind of looks like your Mr. Sackcolt plushy."

"Rest in peace, old friend." Button thinks.

"I am Crash. It's a pleasure to meet you." he introduces himself.

"Well, hello there 'Crash'. I'm Button's mother, Cream Heart. What do you do?"

"Eh, calculations, mathematics, the works. You?"

"I'm a nurse at the Ponyville Hospital. I mostly watch after the little one's just like I did with my li'l Button Wutton." she coos rubbing the colt's cheek.

"Ugh, Mom!" he groans.

"I find that name most humorous." Crash chuckles.

A flustered Button puts the annoying thing aside and heads for the stairs.

"Wait, don't you want dinner?" she asks. "It's mac and cheese, your favorite."

He stops in his tracks, mouth watering.

"M-My M and C?" he stutters.

On cue, the savory scent of pasta hits his nostrils.

"Mac and what?" Crash says confused.

Out of nowhere, Button grabs the toy, dashes towards the dining room table and places him in the seat across from him.

"It...must be very favored." Crash says dumbfounded.

Soon, Cream Heart returns with a plate of 'M and C' and notices the moving toy far from her son.

"How are you doing that, Button?" she says astounded.

When the distracted colt prepares to dig in, his pupils shrink to the size of pinpricks upon seeing his mistake.

"Oh, buck."

As she walks to Crash's side to inspect, Button leans in the seat and reaches for the toy with his tail. Cream Heart turns and spots it under Crash's flank, the latter waving his hoof innocently.

"Impressive." she says with a nod.

After she heads back into the kitchen, an exasperated Button mouths a 'don't move a muscle' to the metal pony, who lays back motionless for the duration of the meal.

Some time later, Button rushes into his room, hyperventilating.

"That...was....close." he pants.

"She seemed nice." Crash says. "I don't understand why I have to remain inanimate around her."

"Mom's not as open to idea of a talking toy as everypony at school, Crash." Button says. "She kinda has a bit of a tremendous fear for ghosts, and she'd probably freak out. No wonder why she wouldn't let me play Geo-Shock."

"But the probability of a spectre's existence are practically incomparable." he says, binary numbers flowing through his eyes.

"I'm afraid science cannot beat paranoia, friend." Button shrugs, turning on his Neightendo Switch.

The opening cutscenes of Super Bash Pones logo appear, catching the little toy's attention.

"What is this?" he asks.

"Only the coolest game in Equestria!" Button exclaims.

"How come?"

"I'll show you!" the colt says excitedly, handing a controller to Crash. "I can't believe I finally get to try out multiplayer!"

"Are there any rules in this activity?"

"Eh, it varies." he shrugs. "Let's go to the training room and show you the ropes."

Button grabs his controller and flips to the tutorial session on the game.

As he plops down on his bean bag chair, he sees Crash entangled in the console's cords.

"I have some concerns." he says.

"You've got a LOT to learn pal." Button chuckles, untangling the toy.

Finally, the loading screen reveals a white stage with two characters of the game on opposite sides.

"Okay, you're Mac-Pan and I'm Cheerio." he states.

The toy stares blankly at the screen.

"Now you move closer to me."

Crash slowly scooches towards the colt.

"Uh...I meant with the P-Pad." Button says awkwardly.

He looks at his controller before hesitantly tapping the left side of P-Pad, moving his character.

"Incredible." Crash says enthusiastically. "Now what?"

On cue, an icon pops up instructing him to tap 'A' to attack. Suddenly, Crash's eyes flash green as he scans the screen.

"Information received." he says pushing the button

"Woah, what was that!" Button says shocked.

"I simply scanned the information."

Soon, an idea strikes the young one's mind. He pulls up the options menu, showing ALL the character's stats moves and abilities.

Crash's transparent scanning engulfs the entire screen, gathering all the info possible.

"Information received."

"How much do you know now?" Button asks.

"Hay-douken strike, P-Pad right, 'A', P-Pad up." he lists off, uppercutting Cheerio in midair. "Pellet Punch, hold 'A'."

Mac-Pan creates a pixelized sphere out of thin air and punches Cheerio out of the stage.

"KNOCKOUT!" the game's announcer yells.

"You have been terminated, friend." he chuckles cockily.

"I let you win that one, beginner's luck." Button brushes off.

Eventually, Cheerio respawns on the other side of the arena.

"Prepare for my ultimate move Crash, the '1-Up One Up'!"

Button mashes a large combination of buttons until his character charges up and blasts Mac-Pan with an energy beam, disintegrating him to oblivion.

"KNOCKOUT!"

"Impressive." Crash admits.

Soon, a Bash Ball puffs into view once Crash respawns.

"But I seem to have the upper hoof."

Mac-Pan leaps over Cheerio, triple strikes the ball and triggers the Final Bash. Once activated, Mac-Pan morphs into a giant wedge of cheese.

"Buck. My. Life." Button utters.

Cheerio somersaults, flips and cartwheels around as Mac chomps away the entire level before devouring the plumber.

"Game, set, match." Crash proudly says.

Button nods in respect.

"I gotta admit, that was pretty cool."

Eventually, another icon appears:

'Student Bests the Master'.

"But now it's time for the big leagues!" Button states.

He changes the stage setting to an island from the game 'Animal Tossing' before selecting the Hard difficulty.

"Bring forth the challenges, my dear adversary." Crash chuckles, clutching the controller in anticipation.

Their characters drop onto the arena.

"Let's do this." Button says.

An hour and a half later...

"KNOCKOUT!"

Crash looks at his rival slyly.

"Another round?"

"I don't know, we've tried EVERY stage here Crash." Button says exhausted. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm gonna hit the sack."

"Suit yourself." Crash says. "I can play this for the remainder of the niiiii-"

The toy freezes and fall on his face, stiff as a board.

"Now you're getting it."

Button picks up the powered down toy and sits him on the windowsill before walking to his bed.

As he does, the game, still on, eliminates Crash's character.

"LOSER!"

"Oh, shut up!" he yells unplugging the console.

Author's Note

I know there aren't cords for the Switch...I just wanted to make a joke.

Join the Club

It's another peaceful morning in Ponyville. As the sun rises, its glistening light shines upon an inanimate Crash's back, powering him up.

"GO GO PONY RANGERS!" an electronic jingle chimes through his chest.

"Ooh, that's a new one." Crash says intrigued.

The sound awakens the game-aholic colt.

"Good morning, Crash." he yawns. "What time is it?"

"Good morning, friend. It currently is 6:51. You have approximately 2.5 hours til your trip to school, give or take."

Button falls face first into his pillow after hearing this information.

"Ugh, wake me later." he muffles.

Crash trots over to his bedside and forcefully removes the bed sheets.

"You know what they say: 'up and at em'."

"You sound like Mom."

"I wouldn't be surprised, she is rather wise after all."

The annoyed foal hides his head under the pillow, covering his ears.

"Pity. Your peers seem to have taken a liking to you the other day."

"Stop patronizing me. They were all too busy admiring you." Button groans.

"Fine. Go to school without me, you'll see." Crash assures. "You will thank me later."

"Could Sweet- I mean, everypony truly like me now?" he wonders.

The conflicted colt lifts his head with a stoic look.

"F-Fine. I'll do it, but JUST to prove you wrong."

"We shall see." Crash says smugly.

Button jumps out of bed and prepares for the approaching morning...

Mentally.

After breakfast, Button attempts to sneak off to school before-

"Button, dear." his mother calls sweetly.

"Stealth mission failed. We'll get 'em next time. Buck!"

Defeated, he turns to an expectant Cream Heart, who has her arms open wide.

"Ugh, now?"

"Of course 'now'. You know I need my weekly hugs. Plus, you aren't getting your lunch until you do."

Button sulks as he slumps in her embrace.

"Time to return the favor." she hums.

"Fine." Button groans, halfheartedly patting her on the back. "Can I get my Mac 'n Chee now?"

Cream releases him and ruffles his mane.

"You like my hugs, don't deny it. Have a good day at school, hon. Love you."

"I luhmato." he grumbles taking his lunch bag.

"What was that? Couldn't hear ya."

"Urgh, I love you too!"

As Button trots out the door, he spots Crash snickering upstairs.

"One word, and you're scrap." he thinks.

Lunchtime at the schoolhouse.

Button's at a picnic table munching on the usual while playing the classic Konkey Dong.

"Take THAT! And THAT! That's for having plus signs in your teeth, and that's for taking a colt with short attention span's attention away from his Mac 'n- ooh look, a butterfly!"

He reaches the top and slams a mallet on Konkey's head.

"And THAT'S for letting Atom Saddler beat you! Haha!"

The 'Game Over' tag appears, followed by another, congratulating him for encouraging animal cruelty.

"Ugh, games always find a way to make you feel bad in the end."

Eventually, Silver Spoon plops down next to him.

"So Button, how hard was it to make Crash like that?" she asks in bewilderment.

"Eh, it was tough, but he pulled through." he says confidently. "It took more effort for Haybro to make that than their toy trains."

"Can he fly?" Scootaloo asks fluttering her wings in .

"I'm not sure if-"

"You're a genius, Button." one colt says.

"Again, can you help me with my homework?"

Soon, everypony surrounds the surprised gamer, chattering on about his brilliance.

"That was pretty cool." Snails slurs.

"It's still not too late to sell him early, Button!" Diamond Tiara assures.

All the other foals look at the rich filly sternly.

"Sorry, force of habit." she chuckles nervously.

Button himself is at a loss for words.

"Would you e-excuse me for a moment." he stutters turning away from the crowd.

"Geez, maybe Crash was right. I never got this much attention since I said No Mare's Sky wasn't that bad."

Putting on his 'best' confidence face, he turns back to the others.

"Yeah, Crash's a special work of mine, nothing serious." he says nonchalantly.

After school, the spontaneously popular colt happily trots his way home. As he reaches the neighborhood, Button spots a scattered trail of sparkling glitter. Of course, being a foal and all, his curiosity gets the best of him and he follows.

The trail would eventually lead him to the orchard outside of Ponyville near Sweet Apple Acres. There, the glitter leaks out of a nearby treehouse.

"I-Is anypony up there?" his voice echoed through the woods.

Nopony responds.

Button takes a closer examination at the flashy flakes, concluding that this is the crafty work of the female species.

Because, apparently that's how these colts think the world works.

The nerdy 'detective' accidentally inhales the evidence and lets out a loud sneeze, scaring off the birds in the branches.

Soon, AppleBloom pokes her head out of the window, visibly covered in the shiny substance.

"Oh, hi Button!" she says in surprise. "Whataya doin' here?"

"I knew it was girls!" he thought.

Colts these days.

"I saw this trail of glit- uh, glit- AH-CHOO!" he sneezes.

"Gesundhoof." she utters.

"Thanks. I said I found this trail of glitter and it led me here."

"That's cuz we're making the most awesome cart in Ponyville!" Scootaloo states extravagantly.

"Wanna help us test it, Button?" Sweetie Belle asks.

"YES!" Button blurts out excitedly. "I-I mean- sure. Be pretty cool."

"Great! Give us a sec 'n we'll be out in-"

AppleBloom pauses and looks back inside.

"H-Hey, did any of ya tie up the balloons?" she asks.

"I thought Scootaloo was supposed to do that." Sweetie says.

"I was adding the flame art!" Scootaloo adds.

"Quick, before-"

Suddenly, before the southern filly could finish, a mushroom cloud of purple glitter floods out of every hole, window or door.

The coughing Crusaders eventually crawl out of the treehouse tugging with them a long, three-seated cart covered with red stick-on flames at the front, stylish swirls in the middle and an apple bumper sticker labeled 'Buy some apples' in the back.

"So, is it cool, or is it COOL?" Scootaloo asks.

"Meh, looks better organized than the cart from Break-It Braff."

"Nice. That's kinda what I would've pictured in a Crusader cart."

"We know." she says. "Now let's get this show on the road."

"Where are going to test this, exactly?" Button asks.

"Up there."

Sweetie Belle points to an absurdly steep hill.

The frightened colt's heart sinks at the sight of it.

"D-Don't you think we'd get in trouble for this?"

"Of course not!" AppleBloom says. "Mr. Anon rode with us and he thought it was okay."

"Why, are ya scared?" the cocky pegasus taunts.

"N-No! Just didn't want my Mom on my case, that's all."

To prove his 'bravery', Button gallops and leaps into the front seat.

"I'm ready for anything!"

"That doesn't involve dismemberment, that is."

He looks down and notices the amount of seats on the wooden ride.

"Oops, there aren't enough seats, well I guess I can't go with you guys."

"It's fine, you take it." Scootaloo assures. "I'll be riding my scooter as always."

"...buck."

"But first, let's get this baby up the hill first."

"Yeah...let's-a-go." Button says defeated.

One tough trip up the hill later, the Crusaders +1 finally make it to the top.

A nervous Button places his backpack in his seat as he settles in. If it weren't for the white beauty's presence, he'd have hauled flank for home after the first 'Hey, Button'.

"Are ya ready, Crusaders...and Button?" AppleBloom asks in anticipation.

"Wheels, check." Sweetie says.

"Awesomely awesome flames, check." Scootaloo adds. "Scooter? Also check!"

"Scared off my propeller, check!!!"

"Let's do this!"

AB kicks the ground, pushing the cart forward...

Backwards, actually.

"Um, AppleBloom? Where are you going?" Sweetie asks.

"We were going on my side, weren't we?" AB says confused.

"Why would we go forward with the stickers in front?!"

"To look fancy?"

The cart slowly creeps its way to the edge.

"You know, at times like this I say to my self: 'MOTHER!'" Button yells as the cart rolls down the hill at top speed.

The terrified colt holds on for dear life as the others cheer, hooves in the air. The cart leans from side to side as it narrowly avoids the hill's trees, each one's branches smacking the poor one's face.

"Ow! How- ow, long til we- ow! Stop?!" he squeals.

"Don't worry, we've got an emergency brake." Sweetie states pulling said lever.

The cart slows down as it reaches the end.

Only for the lines to snap, leaving the cart at the mercy of gravity.

"Can we worry now?" he asks.

"Yes. Yes we can." AppleBloom says.

The three foals scream as Scootaloo struggles to slow the rogue cart down, to no avail.

Eventually, the group's eyes widen upon seeing a cliff in the horizon, making them scream even louder.

"What's all this sounds of anguish about?"

Suddenly, Crash pops out of Button's bag.

"Crash?! How'd you get here?"

"Hey, Crash." the Crusaders say casually before returning to their yelps for help.

"I simply stowed away in your bag of packing to see you do well without me, and you've succeeded." Crash states warmly.

"Cliff!" AppleBloom screams pointing ahead.

"Oh dear." Crash says.

Scootaloo screeches to a halt as the cart launches off the cliff, taking the foals with it.

"GUY!!!" she yells.

Out of nowhere, Crash crawls to the front of Button's side of the cart and attaches his hind legs to it as a large spinning propeller sticks out of his mane.

A distraught Scootaloo wipes her tears as Crash flies to the ground away from the cliff.

"I knew he could fly! Called it!" she says galloping towards the group.

Crash delicately places the cart down.

All aboard woozily emerge from the ride, barely able to stand.

The toy's propeller retracts inside as he turns to a shivering Button, clutching to his backpack.

"You're heart rate has increased, dramatically." he states. "I guess you could call that a 'heartstopping' experience. Heheh."

The colt falls on his side, stiff as a board.

Button.exe has stopped working.

"Button, old pal...?" he asks.

Author's Note

Crusader theme because why not?

Is There A Doctor in the House?

"Button?" a voice echoes. "He appears to be unconscious."

"What do YOU think, Crash?" another voice says.

"Quick, how many hooves am I holding up?"

"The answer's always one, Scoots!"

The colt suddenly comes to.

"O-One?" he groans.

"See, told ya." AppleBloom says.

"Button, are you alright?" Sweetie Belle asks frantically.

He turns to the worried filly hovering over him, the sun glistening around her form.

"Your heart rate has increased again."

"I-I am now." he says dreamily.

"Oh, great. That was a close one." she sighs in relief. "Come on, let's call it a day."

Sweetie casually trots off.

"Buck..." he thinks.

"Now that that's over with-" Scootaloo says, taking a deep breath. "OMC, that was so COOL Crash, you can FLY!"

"If you are referring to my Heli-Pack and mechanical strength, then yes, it is certainly...awesome, is it?" he says.

The Crusader cart catches the little toy's attention.

"What about your cart?"

"Ah think that's 'nough cart ridin' for now." AppleBloom states putting a detached wheel back on the deathtrap. "We'll try again on another, more...cliff-less hill, next time."

The two Crusaders give the Apple filly a harsh glare.

"Sorry." she chuckles.

The four children push the tattered cart up the hill and through a safe path back to Ponyville. They park the thing under their tire swing set next to the clubhouse.

"Hm, well that was fun while it lasted." Button utters exhausted.

"Eh, just another day for the Cutie Mark Crusaders." Sweetie shrugs. "So, what are you two doing later?"

"Rest my nerves."

"Same." the three fillies say.

"Maybe I'll participate in another Smash Pones sess-"

*CLANK*

Crash's left arm suddenly gives out, dragging on the ground dangling from loose wires in the toy's socket.

"Oh, my." he says.

"Crash, what's wrong?" Button asks.

"My hoof is badly damaged from our previous endeavor."

"This is bad, this is BAD!"

"How come? Didn't you and yur Dad make 'em?" AppleBloom says skeptically.

"What the hay, Lie Detector Jr.?!"

"U-Uh, yeah! It's just...there's a special tool needed to fix him and Dad's the only one who has it."

"Well, what can you do for him?" the worried pegasus asks.

"Whooves!" Sweetie Belle exclaims.

"Say wha?" Button says.

"Doctor Whooves, he'll probably help Crash. He sometimes helps Rarity fix her sewing machine."

"Oh, he's great!" AB says. "Thanks to him, our tractor is workin' twice as good now."

"My scooter wouldn't have been the same without him." Scootaloo adds.

"I guess I'll give him a visit. It was fun hanging with you all." Button says, heading down the path with Crash out of Sweet Apple Acres.

"See ya guys!" they say simultaneously.

"After a while, them speaking in unison can be a little freaky." the colt thinks.

The sun is close to set as the two friends make their way to the kooky doctor's place.

"Are you certain this Mr. Whooves can assist in repairing me?" Crash asks.

"Trust me. I know almost exactly what I'm doing." Button states. "Plus, he can't be THAT bad, remember what the girls said? Guy's a genius."

Out of nowhere, an explosion of black smoke forces its way out of a nearby building.

"That must be it."

"Oh, dear."

"Don't worry, he's a genius." Button unsurely assures.

"One of the other foals at school called you a 'genius', so anything's possible."

"Ouch, too far!"

"Kidding." the cheeky toy chuckles.

Button eventually reaches the inventor's humble abode/workplace. Above the door was a sign:

'Whooves Labs
You tatter it, we tinker it.'

"Here goes nothing, I suppose."

He trots up to the entrance and cautiously taps on the door.

Nothing.

He taps a little louder, still nothing.

"Well, I guess he's not home. Better luck next time, let's go."

The frantic child turns heel to leave when a telescope pokes out the top floor's window, examining the two.

"Greetings there, little one!" a voice echoes through the eyepiece.

"A-Are you Whooves?" he asks nervously.

"That is I. What can I do you for?"

"Um, I have a broken toy in need of repair, sir."

After a moment of ~~science~~ silence, the telescope retreats back inside as the front door automatically opens.

"Oh, by all means, do come in."

Button hesitantly enters the establishment with his damaged comrade.

The door soon slams close, booming throughout the dim lab.

"Interesting. For a laboratory, it does have a very eerie setting." Crash says.

"Apologies. My lab partner, Miss Hooves assumed ALL laboratories should be dark and gloomy."

The two turn to see the nutty professor emerge from upstairs wearing a pair of safety goggles.

"And I still stand by it!"

Suddenly, the clumsy, soot-covered grey pegasus pops out from the basement entangled in a jungle of wires.

Whooves flips a switch on the wall, turning on the lights.

Adjusting to the brightness, the little two fully view the vast lab. There, he sees an abundance of wacky creations and mechanisms, clicking gears and marble rails galore.

"Impressive, eh?" the stallion asks confidently.

They, especially Crash, were at a loss for words.

"I-It's incredible!" Button exclaims.

"Truly stunning." Crash admits.

"Who said that?" Derpy asks.

The skittish colt places Crash on a tabletop labeled 'Tinker Table'.

"Alrighty, let's see what we've got 'ere." Whooves says, pulling down a large magnifying glass over the inanimate object. "Now, what seems to be the issue?"

"I seem to have put to a lot of strain on my [nerd words]." Crash says casually.

"Oh, that does look a bit ghastly." the doctor murmurs to himself, analyzing the toy's torn socket.

Soon, he sees the sentient plaything in motion.

"I'm Crash, nice to meet you." he greets, hoof extended.

"Oh, he's learning! I'm so proud!" Button squees on the inside.

"Great giddly gadgets! Where'd you get this kind of contraption, lad?" he exclaims.

Button begins the tale of his encounter with the living intelligent toy and the ~~torment~~ good times they've had. Occasionally, Derpy would show to hear the toy story before having to rush downstairs to tend to a beeping contraption in the basement.

That was a sign that he needed to get out of there.

"So...can you fix him, Doc?" he asks hopefully.

"Don't fret, young lad. Whooves assures. "By tomorrow, I'll have him up, and running in a jiffy Mister-"

"Button Mash. And the toy whose stomach you're prodding at is Crash."

"That's champion, that is. What're you comprised of?"

The amount of science lingo and nerd jargon beats the simple colt's mind into submission.

"Ugh, I'll see you soon, bud."

"Oh, my brain hurts."

As Button leaves the lab he notices the sun is close to setting and all the salesponies are closing up shop.

"OMC, it's getting late!"

He jumps into a swift sprint down the road to home, bumping his way past busy ponies.

"Oh, I'm gonna be in so much- excuse me, sorry pardon me!- trouble!"

Button begins taking shortcut after shortcut through the streets, leaping over obstacles Cheerio style.

"Oof!"

And failing miserably.

Eventually, he reaches the house moments before Princess Celestia sets the sun with her magic.

"Okay, all I need to do is sneak upstairs and-"

When he opens the door, he finds himself staring dead center at a furious Cream Heart.

"Button '8-Bit' Mash!" she bellows.

"Oh, the full name again!"

"Where have you been? I was so worried!"

"I-I was hanging out with the Crusaders, Mom. Things kinda gotten out of hoof with one of my friends." he states shakened up.

"That's the understatement of the day."

She prepares to protest until her eyes widen after hearing 'friends'.

"You hung out...with other foals? That's great!"

"Say what now?" he utters.

"It's nice to know my little masher has friends to see after school." she squeaks cheerfully.

"Oookay, then?"

"So, what's her name?"

"M-Mom, it's not like that!" he stammers trotting inside. "It's a guy."

Cream's eyes widen once more.

"I-It's not like that either! Just a friend of mine, he's at the doctors."

"Oh." she says in relief. "What happened to him?"

"Pulled a hoof. He's fine, though." he assures. "Was a real drag for him."

At Whooves Labs

"Have you calibrated the [nerd word]?" Crash asks.

"Positive." Whooves says.

"Did you carry the one? I tend to repetitively make that error."

The doctor pauses.

"One moment, if you will."

He rushes behind his desk and rapidly doodles on a sheet of graph paper before making changes to the gizmo he and the toy are working on. Whooves flips the switch and the machine spurs to life.

"Success!" he exclaims.

On cue, the machine expels a steaming brown liquid in a mug.

"No more coffee runs for us, Miss Hooves!"

The bubbly pegasus does a celebratory hoof pump, causing her to fall off the ladder she was on into a box of nuts and bolts.

Crash holds out his broken hoof for a slap only for the doctor to high-one it across the room.

"Oops, I-I can fix that, ol' chap."

Author's Note

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

(I may or may not feel a little forgotten, folks...)

Colt's Cove

"Alrighty class! Don't forget to grab your permission slips on the way out." Cheerilee says.

Friday. The best word in a foal's vocabulary.

All of the students happily pack their things and trot off, chatting their weekend plans. As Button Mash collects his belongings, he finds a note under his desk with an address:

To Button.

1901 Hay Way

19-12-5-5-16-15-22-5-18
Tonight.

~CC

"C.C.?" he mutters to himself.

Under the initial is a little splatter of red on the paper.

"Huh, must be some kind of cryptic message. Maybe Crash can crack it."

The little foal skips out of the school to Whooves Labs to decipher the code.

At the lab

"Alright, give it a go!" the nutty professor says in anticipation.

Crash aims his hoof at a coffee mug across the room. With perfect precision, his arm stretches around the cup and retracts back to the shoulder.

"Fully operational." the toy says satisfied.

"Brilliant work! We should test out your metal's durability next."

Suddenly, a violent BOOM erupts from the basement and a soot-covered Derpy eventually staggers out.

"I-I'm okayyyy." she moans.

"Eh, maybe another time doctor. I think it's about time I-"

Button walks in.

"Hey Crash, I need your help with this-"

As he walks in, he turns to see the woozy pegasus fall on her face.

"Oof." he cringes. "How's the hoof by the way?"

Crash takes the note with an extended arm in a split second and reads it.

"Cool."

A moment of deciphering later, Crash concludes that somepony has invited Button to a sleepover tonight.

"A-A.....a what?" he stutters.

"A sleepover, whatever that may be."

The giddy colt jumps for joy knowing somepony out there actually wants

His mother's guaranteed to flip.

"Now, this isn't Sweetie Belle's address...n-not that I know where she lives or anything, so whose is it?" he thinks reading the note.

But the key question dawns on him:

"Could this be a prank?"

Something dings and he looks at his mechanical ~~bodyguard~~ companion.

"Muffins are ready, I'll get them!" the goofy pegasus exclaims, dashing downstairs.

"Crash, wanna go?"

"I don't see why not." he says leaping off the table.

"Til then lab partner." Whooves says.

"Oh, how much for the repair, doc?" Button asks.

"Don't fret little one, it's on the house- er, lab."

He gives an appreciative nod and leaves.

"Oh, this is SO thrilling! You'll need your Dr. Cheerio toothbrush and a sleeping bag and-"

The two friends sit and watch in amusement as Cream Heart gallops around the room for items for the sleep over.

Told you she'd flip.

"Mom, it's not that big a deal. Just my first sleepo- OMC I'M SO EXCITED!!!"

Button then joins his mother in the hunt, earning a giggle from the toy. The excited colt packs everything he needed, grabs Crash and leaves the house with Cream.

The sun sets as they reach their destination. It was a nice house with a second floor, not far from Sweet Apple Acres. After Button knocks, a stallion with a grayish opal coat answers the door.

"Cream Heart! Haven't seen you in ages, how've you been?" he says in surprise.

"I'm doing great, Trims. Just dropping off Button, he was invited to a little sleepover and it led us here." she states.

"Oh the boys are waiting for you downstairs."

Button carries his things in and heads toward the basement while the adults catch up. Down there was a pitch black room with a single candle burning in the center.

"H-Hello?" his voice echoed.

"Maybe their already slumbering?" Crash inserts.

Suddenly, a foal in a black cloak steps out of the shadows into the candle's light. It pulls away its hood to reveal-

"Snips?!" Button says in shock.

Then Snails, Tender Taps and Pipsqueak appear in the same cloaks.

"Are you worthy of joining the herd?" a deep voice boomed.

"Yeah, I-I guess?"

"So that's what C.C. means." Crash concludes.

"Is the toy worthy?"

"Affirmative."

"Uh....I don't know what that means.

"Yes, I am."

A podium appears with another colt standing on it.

"Well then-"

The basement's light turns on as he removes his cloak revealing the pegasus, Rumble, with a megaphone.

"Awesome. We could use the extra members." he says in a normal, nonchalant tone. "C.C.C!"

"C.C.C!" the other members yells, stomping their hooves.

"C.C.C?" Button says.

"C.C.C!" they yell again.

"Yeah whatever, what does that mean?"

"You, Mash and Crash, are now part of the secret Colt's Cove Club." Rumble states. "Congratulations."

The others stomp in applause again.

"So...what do you guys do in the 'Colt's Cove Club', exactly?"

"Here, we do the most extreme things in town." Snips adds.

"We cut loose. Hoofloose!" Taps says extravagantly.

Button fully examines the place, staring in awe at the maps, plans, pictures and misshapen doohickeys strewn all around.

"I should've known how extreme it was by the blood on the note you sent us." he says in bewilderment.

"Woah woah, Pipsqueak, dude you used blood for the note?!" Rumble asks nervously. "I just told you to write the code!"

"I, heh, may have gotten a itty bitty carried away with Mum's goobarb pie." Pip chuckles sheepishly.

Everypony sighs in relief.

"Pip here's good with codes and some of our gear." the pegasus states. "All of us play a certain part, Snips is the muscle."

"Darn right!" Snips exclaims, kicking over a cardboard box.

"Well, HE thinks he is. Just roll with it." Rumble whispers. "Snails is surprisingly good at stealth."

Suddenly, said unicorn pops out of nowhere slobbering, startling the two.

"Mmm, goobarb." Snails slurs in delight.

"Tender Taps is our field agent...though not a great one."

"Aw, come on! I'm an inconspicuous expert!" the dancer protests.

"When has moontrotting been considered 'inconspicuous'?!"

"You just don't get it."

"Whatever. And I'm the leader of this team." he sighs.

"What is your role?" Crash asks.

"I, my metal friend, conduct the awesome missions we go on."

"So let me get this straight. You guys do awesome stuff around town...and you want US to join?" Button asks.

"Pretty much." Snips says.

"Why?"

"We're...a little short on the smart variety." Rumble says embarrassed.

The three look at a still drooling Snails making spit bubbles that Snips playfully pops.

"Well..."

Button looks at Crash, who gives him an reassuring nod.

"We'll do it!"

"C.C.C!" the leader yells.

"C.C.C!" everypony hollers.

All members form a circle around the two and stomp as Rumble ties a blue bracelet to their hooves.

"But first!"

Stomps cease at the leader's words.

"You must first pass...the test." he says in a dramatic tone.

"Ooh, what form? Unit testing? Safety? Interface?" Crash asks eagerly.

"Uh, no dude."

Rumble trots towards a curtain and pulls it down, revealing a bulletin board with calendars and photos of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Every two to three weeks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders have their sleepovers. Recently, Scoota- I mean, the girls started a prank war with me- US boys and have stolen the 'Pen of Power', so we're going to catch them by surprise."

"Pen of Power? Well, what does that have to do with us?" Button says.

"Your job is to survey the battlefield. Recon, ya know?"

"So we're gonna PRANK them?!" he exclaims.

"Of course. Is that a problem?"

"Judging by the tone in his voice, I'm assuming-"

"No! Not a problem at all." he cuts the toy off. "Uh, C.C.C is it?"

"C.C.C!"

"W-Would you excuse us for a moment? Have to use the little colt's room."

"Sure. Upstairs, first door to the right." Snips says.

Button grabs Crash and dashes towards the stairs.

"Well, I'm about to head out. See you tomorrow, hon!" Cream Heart says.

"Yeah, see ya Mom! Bathroom!"

"When you gotta go, ya gotta go." Trims chuckles.

The hyperventilating colt starts pacing around while Crash calmly observes.

"I don't know what to do! I wanna be part of the team, but I can't betray Swee- the Crusaders, we're cool with each other! And I'm not good with pranking and-"

Crash stretches his hoof and wraps the rambling foal's muzzle shut.

"Have you considered-"

The toy leans in and whispers in his ear.

"Yeah, I di- no, no I didn't."

Eventually, the two return downstairs to the other waiting colts.

"So?" Rumble asks expectantly.

They exchange a sinister grin before facing the group.

"Let's give those fillies what for." Button says triumphantly. "C.C.C!"

"C.C.C!"

A Battle For All Ages

"Ugh, when will he get back, I'm ready to unleash the beast!" Snips groans.

"Yeah, I want to go Rough Criminal on 'em!" Tender Taps adds.

"Patience, brothers. They'll be back soon." Rumble reassures.

"You said that last time when we tried to recruit Spike!"

"That's his loss. It's not our fault the Cove doesn't serve gems!"

"I'm sorry brothers, I must summon him. Beetlecider, Beetlecider, Beetle-"

"Woah, wait Pip, I don't want that guy running around here, that's insane!" Rumble protests.

"No no, he could help us with this fight Leader, honest! Beetlecider, Beetlecider, Beetle-"

"Pip, you're dealing with powers you cannot control or understand! Knock it off!"

The little colt frowns and continues scribbling on a coloring page.

Eventually, the duo return back downstairs.

"Mission accomplished." Crash says.

"C.C.C!"

"Awesome! But before we head out, we must relay the rules." Rumble says urgently.

"Lay it on us." Button says confidently.

"First rule of the Colt Club: you do not tell anypony about the Colt Club."

They nod sincerely.

"Second rule of the Colt Club: you do not TALK about the Colt Club."

"Message received and memorized."

The skeptical pegasus is a centimeter away from the toy's face, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"How sure?"

"Uh....really sure?" Button says hesitantly.

"Do not tell anypony about the Colt Club. Do not TALK about the Colt Club." Crash plays back.

"Do you record everything we say?"

"Do you record everything we say?"

"Eh, that's all we needed to know, better safe than sorry. Hey Button, got a little something on your chest RIGHT there."

He looks down and gets flicked in the muzzle.

"Gotcha! Rule number three: have to have a sense of humor." he cackles. "Let's head out!"

All the other colts rush to another set of curtains. Rumble pulls it away to show off five big-wheels, one for each member

"Sorry, we didn't have a spare wheelie for ya."

"It's fine. While we were out, Crash here's developed a new function. Show 'em, buddy."

Button stands back as his miniature companion stretches and detatches his limbs around as the team watch in awe until he forms a shiny big-wheel.

"So, whatcha think?"

"That. Is. Epic!" Snips exclaims before composing himself. "Y-You know...for a rookie. It'll take ALOT more than flare and glare for this battle."

"Ya know, they're just girls after all."

"Listen to yourself, Mash! We do not think of such craziness here!"

"Sorry, it's just...haven't you ever, ya know, see them as normal ponies or...LIKED one of them?"

Button and Crash notice everypony stare directly at Rumble.

"N-No, that would be...awful." he gulps.

"Strange. You've showed more interest in her than the other fillies in this so-called 'war'." Crash concludes.

"What, no way. You have no proof of-"

"Scoota- I mean, the girls started a prank war with me- US boys." Crash plays with a smirk.

"..."

"Well?" Button asks slyly.

"...shut it, Crash. Let's just move out like I said."

The crew hop aboard their bikes and prepare to ride when a thought occurs to Button:

"How do we get out of here, exactly?"

"Snips' house was built next to an abandoned underground railroad, giving us a secret route around town." Rumble says matter of factly.

"I tried a gold nugget there once...not as tasty as I expected." Snails says.

"Wait, what about your father, Snips?" Crash asks.

"Don't worry about him. He should be out right about-"

A low THUD followed by a loud snore can be heard from upstairs.

"Now."

Pip removes a large Great and Powerful Trixie poster from the wall to show a gaping hole that leads to the aforementioned railroad.

"Ugh, there is some serious Pawspank Redemption vibes going on right now."

"Alright, guys. It's time to bring the thunder! C.C.C!"

"C.C.C!"

Lined up and pumped, the colt's ride their bikes through the dusty mines towards enemy territory.

"Are you sure you know where we're going, guys?" Button asks.

"We appear to be lost." Crash says.

"We aren't lost, rookies." Snips states. "See, there's a light at the end of the tunnel right he-AHH!"

Crash stretches his hoof and grabs the distracted colt and his ride at the edge before he could fall off a cliff.

"Okay. Maybe we're a bit lost." he pants.

"I told you we took that wrong turn at Apple-querque!" TT says.

Then, Snails starts sniffing the air ferociously.

"What is it, boy? Do ya have a scent?" Snips asks.

He stops smelling as his eyes shoot open. "Piiiiiiee!" he yells excitedly.

"Yes, that's it Snails! Lead us to the-"

Before Rumble could finish, Snails zooms away on his ride, leaving deep skid marks in the dirt. "After that unicorn!"

"Finally. This place's always gave me the willies!" Pip whimpers.

The remaining five chase after the ravenous colt. Soon, they run into a trail of saliva covering the entire floor. Crash leaps over and crawls against the walls carrying Button, leaving the slippery fluids to throw the colt's traction on the road.

"Guys, pull the brakes!" Button instructs.

They do so and suddenly begin to spin out of control.

"Gotcha!" he laughs.

"Gooooood oooooone roooooookieeeeee!" Snips wails.

Soon, the group locate the exit as they reach the end of the spit trail and crash into a nearby apple tree outside of the tunnel and struggle to stand.

"Oooh, t-that sure got my noodle in a twist." Pip says woozily.

"And I thought doing the Electric Spin was disorienting." TT utters.

"B-Barely a scratch. Ju- ugh, just walk it off team."

"Bluh, I hope ya like hay burgers." Snips groans. "Where's Snails?"

Button and Crash look around the leftover drops of saliva until they spot the goofball staring intensely at something in the distance.

"Snails buddy, what is it? What'd you find?" he asks.

"Piiiiieee." he whispers.

The two turn to see a freshly baked apple pie on the windowsill of the Crusaders' treehouse.

"Snails, don't even THINK about it! That's enemy pie, obviously a trap." Rumble hisses.

"Doesn't look like a trap to me, guys. Everything looked normal when we surveyed."

"The lights are dimmed, so they must be asleep." TT says.

"We must go silently." Pip adds.

"Crash and I'll scout ahead, ya know, for traps."

"Awesome! See, I told you guys there was greatness in him, didn't I." Rumble says proudly.

Button winces at that statement as he proceeds forward, the gang close behind.

"Okay...let's see if I can remember this." he thought.

Without warning, he starts spontaneously jumping, ducking and shifting about like he's avoiding imaginary lava.

"Stop!" TT whispers.

"What?"

"Slammertime!"

He rolls his eyes and continues on. Eventually, the rest copy the colt's movements, to his chagrin. They soon reach the base of the tree and climb atop each other, Button close to the window.

"Do you see the pen?" Snips asks, trying to balance on Snails' back.

"No, just-"

Suddenly, a blinking red light flashes on Crash's chest, creating a deafening alarm that startles the team, who fall on their flanks. As Button holds onto the clubhouse's porch, the lights cut on and he finds himself face to face with Sweetie Belle.

"H-Hey Sweetie Belle." he says nervously.

"Hey Button, Crash." she says.

A sadistic smile foms on her face as she slams the apple pie into the colt's face, causing him to fall as well.

"Now!"

Soon, the rest of the Crusaders appear with the addition of Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and Twist, each with a water balloon.

"Crusaders forever!" they yell before pelting the group with their soaking assault.

"Get the Pen! C.C.C!" Rumble cries out.

"C.C.C!"

Crash helps Button up from his sweet injury as they watch the battle of the ~~century~~ weekend unfold.

Snips and Snails toss nuts and berries through the door which, shockingly, proved futile as Diamond and Silver give the two a bath. Twist comes around with a basket of balloons and tosses one an inch away from Pip but doesn't pop on impact.

"How odd. It shoulda-"

The balloon bursts, covering him in glitter and confetti.

"Sorry Pip!" Twist exclaims. "We're still going to Sugarcube Corner next week, right?"

Pip nods before getting mercilessly hit with another balloon.

Tender Taps breaks into a breakdance as AppleBloom fires a hoof full of acorns in a slingshot.

"You. Can. Not. Touch. This, AppleBloom! You don't got the moves." he says cockily.

"Ya can keep yur 'moves' Tappy!" the southern filly says. "Cuz we do things Apple style here!"

She brings up a phonograph and plays music for line-dancing, throwing off TT's groove.

"That's not cool! You can't-"

He's cut off when an acorn flies down his throat.

"Rough Criminal has forsaken me, run!" he gags.

All the other members take off, either soaked or sparkled.

Except Rumble.

"Scootaloo!" he hollers. "You know what we came for and we want it now!"

"Over my little wings!" she says with malice.

"That can be arranged."

As he sprints towards the clubhouse, the filly loads a single nut in the slingshot and fires it AWAY from him.

"Miss!" he jeers.

"Did I?"

The nut bounces off the trees, against a rock and lands in front of the colt, triggering a plank that slaps makeup onto his face. He stumbles backwards as a bag of glitter splatters on his form. Trap after trap, Rumble eventually ends up in a glistening pink dress, to his horror.

"Mash, Crash! Retreat!"

"G-Go on without u-us." Button utters, 'exhausted'.

"No, I'm not leaving you he-"

Another plank knocks him down.

"W-Well, it was nice knowing ya!"

Thus, he flees.

A few moments later, Button wipes the bits of pie out of his mane as the girls climb down.

"They're gone." Crash states.

"We rule! Crusaders forever!" AppleBloom yells triumphantly.

"Sorry, Button. Had to make it look real." Sweetie states.

"It's fine. Anything for realism."

"Oh, here's your pen. Forgot it was even here, just borrowed it that ONE time." Scootaloo states. "Thanks again for warning us."

"No problem. Now I'm just gonna...w-walk this off." he winces.

"I can't hate those eyes." he thought.

"Well that was embarrassing." Snips groans.

He sees Snails sniffling.

"I know we lost, dude."

"I never got to eat the pie." he whimpers.

"Not a balloon in the world could shield me from Twist's beautiful eyes." Pip says to himself.

"Don't sweat it brothers, we'll get 'em next time." Rumble assures, throwing away the dress and accessories.

"If we bring actual WEAPONS this time!"

"Need not worry, colts of Colt Cove!" a voice says.

Button and Crash soon appear.

"For we have recovered the sacred relic!" Button says revealing the coveted Pen of Power.

"Like I told you guys, I KNEW there is greatness in him!" Rumble

Everypony lifts the two in celebration.

"C.C.C!"

"C.C.C!"

Buncha nerds.

Aye Captain!

It's the next day and the sound of grumbling echoes through the room, waking the boys up. Button opens his eyes to see Snails snoring loudly in rhythmic succession next to him. He pokes him in the muzzle, ceasing the noise.

"Well I'm up." Button yawns.

"Five more minutes." everypony whines.

"I've found my herd." he thinks.

As he lays back down, the same flashing red light on Crash appears with the same ear-splitting beeping, waking the others up completely.

"I'M UP, I'M UP!!!" Snips wails.

"Make it stop!" Pip squeaks.

"Hmm, that beat's pretty fresh." Tender Taps ponders.

"Ugh, why do you keep doing that Crash?" Rumble groans.

No response.

"Crash?"

Button removes the covers to see the stiff toy.

"Oh, he's fine. Just needs a little sunlight." he states.

When he turns to charge up his buddy, something tugs at his tail.

"Snails!"

"Sorry, you still smell like pie." he slurs.

The irritated colt shakes off the slob and goes to wake his friend. Upstairs, the sweet aroma of pancakes lures him to the kitchen where he spots Trims cooking a bountiful breakfast with eggs, orange juice and crispy haycon strips galore.

"Wow, that looks delicious Mr. Trims."

"Thank you Button. My world famous pancakes could rival Celestia's."

"Heh, that's not what Miss Glimmer told us at school." he giggles.

The stallion rolls his eyes and returns to cooking as Button places Crash on the counter. Then, sunlight shines upon his back, charging him up.

"GO, GO PONY RANGERS!"

Soon, the drowsy toy awakens in front of a stunned Trims.

"Good morning, Button."

"Morning, bud-"

His eyes widen at the sudden realization and frantically comes up with a plan.

"W-What time is it?" he stammers.

"It is currently 10:47 AM. Weather forecast, sunny. Precisely 68°F." he says matter of factly. "Why'd you ask?"

"What kind of toy is that?"

"H-He's an...alarm clock!"

Crash tries to protest before getting poked in the head by the colt.

"Yep, the newest alarm clock that SHUTS DOWN when you press his head."

Catching on to his tone of voice, the toy droops his head, remaining inanimate.

"Well, it seems to be a tad delayed." Trims chuckles. "Anyways, go get the boys. Tell 'em it's a Code 26, would ya? They'll know what to do."

"Yes, sir."

The two head back downstairs while the stallion returns to creating his 'masterpiece'.

"We need to have a code so your cover's not blown. I can't handle all this pressure!" Button hisses at the toy.

"How about 'Remain frozen so our cover's not blown'?"

"Mm, too long. Let's try....statue!"

Crash stiffs up.

"Perfect."

They reach the Cove just as the others put up their folded sheets and pillows. For a mischievous group of colts, they sure knew how to organize, especially Snails surprisingly.

"Hey guys, it's a Code....26?"

All of them stop what they're doing as their ears perk up.

"Hurry up team, this is NOT a drill!" Rumble barks.

Almost like Discord himself hit 'fast forward' on a universal remote, the colts dash around the room putting their stuff away before galloping toward the kitchen, trampling Button. "C.C.C!" they hollered.

"C...C...C." he groans.

That afternoon, Trims and the seven colts head into the town market looking for some maple syrup after Snails and Rumble got a tad too aggressive with it back at breakfast. During the C.C.C's latest 'mission', Crash's friendly neighborhood ear-damaging beeping returns, startling the surrounding ponies.

"Sorry about that, everypony!" Button yells. "Crash, why do you keep doing that?!"

"I do not know. I am not familiar with this specific function." he states.

"Well get familiar before you get us both in-"

Suddenly, the whole market is blocked from the sun.

"Hey, who cut off the lights?"

Everypony looks at the sky and discover a large blimp with a yellow lightning bolt descending on the area.

"I-It can't be. It just can't." Rumble stutters.

The citizens of Ponyville stare in awe when a wide stage lands in the center of town as a blue stallion pegasus in a green hero jumpsuit swoops down, performing extravagant aerial stunts along the way.

"Who is that?" Button asks.

"Only one of the most extreme ponies in all of Equestria!" Rumble exclaims. "He's...he's-"

"Captaaain Sparks!" the stallion bellows.

Practically EVERY foal in town surround the stage, cheering as he passes out merchandise with his lightning logo on it.

"Yes, yes it's me. Just your heroic hero of heroism visiting your quiet little heroless town." he says cockily.

Rumble is on the verge of passing out when Spark places a hat on his mane and shakes his hoof.

"Rumble, you alright?" Button asks concerned.

Soon the colt starts hopping around blabbering on about not washing his hooves EVER again.

"He must be a very popular individual." Crash says.

"Are you kidding?!" the pegasus yells. "He's one of the coolest most awesomest pegasus in Equestria!"

"You might not want to say that out loud, Rumble." Button says cautiously. "Scootaloo'll hear you."

"What's Scoots gonna do? We all know Rainbow Dash has always been second rate and she's RIGHT behind me, isn't she?"

"Eeyup." she growls.

The ~~peeved~~ angry pegasus tackles the colt and engages in a rough tussle with him, shouting obscenities as Button trots away from the beatdown. Eventually, Mayor Mare eases her way through the crowd towards the stage.

"Oop, pardon me kids. Hello there, Mayor Mare here, what brings you to Ponyville, Mister Sparks?"

"Well I'm glad you asked. Courtesy of Haybro Inc., I've come here to promote the upcoming 'Pony Rangers 2.0' this year!"

Sparks straps a blinking watch to his hoof and aims it around the row of hyped foals, declaring that somepony 'has greatness in them'. Eventually, the watch beeps rapidly as it reaches Button, intriguing the stallion.

"There...is alot of potential rangers here so I've had my totally-not-underpaid assistant Toady here has prepared a little treat for you little ones."

"My name's Todd." the scrawny pony grunts as he walks up on stage and pulls a lever that brings down a ramp leading inside Spark's blimp.

When everycolt and filly enter the aircraft, the lights flash on revealing a space themed obstacle course with Celestia knows how many hoops, swings and rock climbs has the pegasus's face on it. The children stampede around the room, no doubt to damage some of the equipment.

*THUD*
Spoke too soon.

Button walks in with Crash and observes the extraordinary set where the others run wildly, to Todd's dismay.

"Looks pretty awesome, right?"

The colt jumps in surprise when the captain appears beside him.

"O-Oh yeah...it's p-pretty cool."

"Don't you wanna try it out?"

"I'm not really, what you'd call, an 'active' kinda colt." Button states sheepishly.

"Aw, give it a try. I'll hold onto your little toy thingy."

"I-I'm not so sure about that. Crash here's my luck charm, so to speak."

The frozen bot smiles proudly at the statement. Without so much as a warning, Rumble comes galloping in the blimp, an angry Scootaloo not too far behind. Despite their relationship, the amount of sheer rage in the pegasus's eyes startled Button, prompting him to run as well. As he takes off, his metal pal falls in front of Spark's hooves.

"So. The little squirt named ya, eh?" he chuckles. As he reaches for the 'lifeless' toy, Crash stands up and trots away in a windup-like fashion.

"Oh, so we're playing like THAT now?" Sparks utters following after. His casual walk turns into a full-on sprint as Crash picks up the speed. Given his small stature, he manages to out-maneuver the stallion through a crowd of foals.

Meanwhile, Button steers clear of Scootaloo's path of wrath but soon ends up on a steep platform. There, a set of plastic barrels roll down the higher platforms and towards the colt. Before he could react, Crash leaps and clutches tightly to his back with outstretched arms.

"Crash, you're just in time. This thing's just like Level 1 Konkey Dong! My dorky dream has been realized!"

"Button, I think we should-"

Crash's cut off when Button rushes up the ramp, leaping over barrel after barrel full of energy. As he progressively climbs the stage, Sparks activates a tennis ball launcher and unleashes a barrage of them, each narrowly missing the two. A few close calls and twenty barrels later, the duo reach the top of the stage.

"WOO! UNEXPLAINABLE ENERGY!!!" Button barks, sparatically bucking and denting a cardboard cutout of Sparks off the edge, earning a quizzical look from the toy.

"Heh, sorry. Got carried away for a second." he chuckles.

"Pretty impressive, cadet."

Crash ducks behind Button's head as Sparks flies to the top.

"That was some fine agility for a colt." he adds warmly.

"Really? Ya think so?"

"I KNOW so. With some training on my Rangers course, you'd almost be as good as me. Almost. Think ya can handle it?"

Button's eyes light up. "I'll try my best, Captain."

"Oh dear." Crash cringes.

Training Day

In an open field outside of Ponyville

"So, what are the requirements to being a ranger?" Button asks.

"All it takes is speed, agility, charming good looks, ROBUST haunches and heart....but mostly haunches." Sparks says matter of factly. "If you have heart, then you have what it takes."

Suddenly, Rumble pops up between the two, ready for what's to come. "Alright, I'm pumped. Let's do this captain, I'm ready!" he huffs.

Sparks stops the pegasus with a hoof. "I'm not sure you have what it takes." he states.

"What? B-But, I have heart."

"And that mop over there needs tending to so....there's that."

The heartbroken colt hangs his head and turns to leave.

"Now get back out there, and remember: you can do anything! Ya know, as long as you're me."

Button watches as his comrades trot off, dejected.

"I-I'm sorry captain, we're a team. We stick together. C.C.C!"

"C.C.C!" the others bark proudly.

Strapped to his back, Crash nods in appreciation.

The stallion rubs the bridge of his muzzle and sighs in defeat. "Fine. I'll....think of something."

Later...

"I don't know if I can do this!" Snails yelps.

"Come on cadet, just one more!" Sparks says.

The young colt stretches out his arm...

And puts a wooden cylinder block in a sizeable hole in a board.

"Brilliant work, Slugs!"

"Thank...*pant*...you."

"Yes, yes. Now start over and put them in order by color."

Snails, exhausted like he's finished a marathon, falls out on the ground.

"Excellent, squirt. Find the difference in the picture. A keen eye is key." he states, observing Pip using his coloring and activity book.

"Aye, captain!" he squeaks, practically shoving his muzzle into the pages.

"Bust a move, Happy Hooves. A ranger's gotta move quick."

"Don't worry," Tender Taps assures. "I INVENTED these moves! I wasn't called 'Happy Hooves' for a reason." The little dancer spins out of control until he crashes into a thorn bush.

"Snacks, I like the hustle, keep it up. A stallion's not a stallion without strength."

"Barely breaking a sweat." Snips groans, struggling to lift a pebble no bigger than an apple.

"Hey Captain! Watch this!" Rumble calls out. "I can kick the leaves off this tree!"

The little pegasus gallops towards a nearby tree and strikes it with a soft, barely audible CLOP. "Okay, bad start. Let me try that again."

He runs into the tree once more, no dice.

"Maybe this time?" Fails again. The stubborn colt dives at the tree over and over, getting dizzier and dizzier. "D-Don't worry, I can do thissss cuz I'm the greatest ballerina in the whole fruit cup!"

Rumble stumbles and falls on his muzzle, as a single leaf lands on his wings.

"Yeah, impressive I guess." Sparks snickers. "A strong team always needs at least one comic relief."

Meanwhile, Button's kicking and prodding an inflatable dragon punching bag, Crash watching on the side.

"I'm not so certain about this Sparks fellow, Button." the toy ponders. "He seems a tad...off."

"Don't worry, bud- Hee-ya!" the colt says, stick and moving with the dummy. "A lot of celebrities are a 'little off' sometimes when they're famous- Hee-ya!"

Button tackles his inanimate opponent over, only for the punching bag to carry and slam him forward into the ground. "You think Cheerio is ACTUALLY cheery after gaining fame from saving Nectarine over and over? She still never baked that cake she promised him the first 15 times."

Crash quickly turns around and droops to the floor.

"Aw, come on bud. Don't be like that!"

"Who are you talking to, cadet?" Sparks appears.

"Huh? Oh, n-nothing Captain." he stutters. "Just showing this thing who's boss."

"Hm. Well, let's see what you got."

Button dusts himself off and gets into a crane kick position. "Here goes something." he thinks. The colt turns and bucks the dragon with great force. "Ha! How was tha-"

The dragon strikes him back down.

"Maybe a little bit more practice." the stallion chortles. "It takes ALOT more than just standing there to take on your opponents. Try again."

Taking a deep breath, Button jabs it and jumps out of its range, eventually repeating the pattern.

"I-It worked!" he exclaims.

"Of course it worked." Sparks inserts. "Didn't your ol' stallion teach ya this stuff?"

The colt halts his swift assaults and hangs his head. Spark's proud grin vanishes upon seeing the glum kid.

"I assume he's not the teaching type?"

"Not really. His job at Haybro always kept him busy that I...I rarely see him. Sure, he does show up at my birthday parties, heck, he was the only one to show up. But other than that, it's just me at my mom."

"Ugh, that must be tough."

"You promote their toys and stuff. Didn't you run into him maybe once or twice?"

"Dark brown stallion? Joy stick cutie mark?"

"On the manufacturing line, yep." Button states. "Striking resemblance, eh?"

"Striking nerdiness is more like it." he mutters to himself.

"What was that?"

"Ur, nothing. Yeah, I've met him. He does talk about ya though."

The young one's ears perk up. "He does?"

"Oh, you have NO idea. He almost made a toy clone of you when he's in daydream mode."

"Yeah, my dad is pretty smart."

"He sure is." Sparks agrees, turning to the stiff toy. "We should probably call it a day."

"Are you sure?" Button says. "It's still bright out here."

"U-Uh, yeah. I have...heroic crunches to do at 3 later. Today's leg day." he states.

Despite the pegasus' sudden excuse and the fact that the colt doesn't know, nor WANTED to know what 'haunches' are, he complies and takes his leave with the Colt Club.

"I still have my suspicions about that stallion, Button."

"Come on Crash, he wasn't that bad." he asserts. "He seemed cool."

"I thought he was a nice fellow." Pip adds.

"I told you guys he was cool! Wasn't he cool?" Rumble asks ecstatically.

"Cool as Vanilla Ice Cream." Taps inserts, busting into a Gang-neigh Style.

"Mmm, ice." Snails slobs.

"What about the cream part, Snails?" Snips asks.

"I like ice."

"He's....always hungry, isn't he?" Button asks.

"You have no idea." the others say in unison.

The seven of them laugh as they trot off to meet up with Trims and head back to the Cove with many ~~dorky~~ EPIC activities to come.

That evening

At Captain Sparks' blimp, the valiant stallion searches through his merchandise while the scrawny, totally-not-underpaid assistant Todd stocks up the heavy children's equipment in the aircraft. Suddenly, his watch beeps profusely.

"Blue Feather. Come in, Blue Feather." a voice chimes in.

"I still think I deserve a better name than 'Blue Feather', dude." Sparks grunts.

"That's 'Toymaker' to you, Blue Feather! Did you recover the package?"

"I-I.....have not. I'm working on it. The kid's not cracking. He's smarter than he looks."

"We're running out of time here, Sparks. You know I don't take disappointments well, right?"

"Yes, sir." Sparks sighs in defeat.

"Guess it's time you initiate Plan B, then."

Eventually, Sparks picks out a large crate and roughly bucks it open.

"Ready, ranger?"

Suddenly, the room is engulfed in a sinister, blood red light illuminating from the dusty crate.

"AFFIRMATIVE."

Heart of Unknown Origin

"GO GO PONY RANGERS!"

The C.C.C. jolt awake in surprise and tumble out of the pillows they slept on.

"Good morning, team." Crash greets.

"Ugh, what happened last night?" Rumble groans.

"All of you decided to participate in a competition to determine who's motor skills would shut down last."

"Say wha?"

"You had a sleep-off."

The pegasus' drowsy eyes widen.

"Almost forgot about that, who won?"

"I can't remember." Snips yawns. "Hey, where's my pillow?"

"Wait, that was YOUR pillow?" Snails asks.

Suddenly, the goofy colt belches a plethora of feathers. "Oh, there it was." he chuckles.

"Pip was the first one out, that I remember." Tender inserts.

"Snails was out the moment you said 'GO'." Snips adds. "And T's sleep-tapping gave me a little boost."

"Worth it. I showed M.C. Mallet how to jam."

"So it's down to me, Snips and..." Rumble pauses.

Everypony turns to the wide awake colt.

"Button."

"M-M-Morning guys." he stutters.

"How'd you sleep, buddy?"

"I didn't."

It was evident enough to see the little masher didn't get his 8 to 10 hours. Mane frazzled, crooked propeller hat, a true aftermath of a kid at a horror movie.

Button slowly blinks his bloodshot eyes.

"How are not out dude? That's insane!" Rumble asks astounded.

"Oh simple tactic, really. I just thought of something scary."

"What was it?"

"The...the..."

"The what?" Crash asks.

"T-The Super Cheerio Bros. Movie."

The whole team gasps in shock.

"Are you INSANE!!!" Snips exclaims. "Don't you know that's a fate worse than Tartarus!"

Pipsqueak faints as Snails surprise-chokes on pillow feathers.

"What's so scary about it?"

"Trust me on this one Crash, you don't wanna to know." Rumble states. "Snips, don't tell him. Ya shouldn't have told me, but you did and now I'm telling you Crash, you don't wanna know."

"OMC, it's a Code Brown!" Pip squeals.

Somepony sat on the fast forward setting again as the team frantically rush upstairs to the kitchen while Crash consoles the traumatized colt. Eventually they come galloping back in with a hot cup of coffee and feed him it.

He doesn't respond.

"For buck sake Pip, it's decaf!" Rumble hisses.

"My bad."

They run back upstairs and back with the real deal and the pegasus serves it.

"How 'bout now?"

Button's eye twitches.

"Did it work?"

Crash hops in front of his buddy and waves at his jittering eyes.

"I have some concer-"

Suddenly, Button spontaneously bucks Crash into a stack of cardboard boxes, flailing and galloping around the room.

"T, initiate Operation: Chill Pill!"

Taps grabs a pair of headphones and tackles the rogue colt. "Dude, you need to chill!"

"URGGH, YOUR NAME CAN'T ALSO BE CHEERIO, CHEERIO!" he growls.

"I said CHILL!"

He slams the headset on him and cranks it to 11 as Crosstopher Chris' 'Railing' blasts in his eardrums. Button's psychotic little episode comes to a close as the soothing guitar's melody calms his caffeine-filled nerves.

"How long was I out?" he huffs.

"We don't know if you were out PERIOD." Rumble states.

"W-Where's Crash?"

"If you are referring to your mechanical companion that finds being thrown around in an abusive fashion to be quite tiresome, I'm right here 'pal'." the toy utters, emerging from the pile.

There, the lid attatched to his belly unhinges and falls apart, revealing a glowing blue sphere within that fills the dim room with light.

"Crash, what is that?"

"I'm afraid I do not know. Appears to be a certain type of energy, I believe."

Button inches his way towards the mysterious object pulsing inside the toy. "Is it unstable?"

"Hard to tell, but I wouldn't recommend touching-"

The sphere engulfs the colt in a blanket of electricity and throws him into the wall, shaking the room.

"-it..." he finishes, closing the lid.

"What's going on down here?" A skeptic Trims comes downstairs, observing the crash site...

No pun intended.

"Nothing Dad." Snips blurts. "Button just had a bad dream."

"Must've been a pretty bad dream. Welp, time to gather your things. Don't want your parents thinking I'm foalnapping ya. Plus, y'all have school tomorrow."

The group groan in disappointment as the stallion trots back upstairs.

"Ugh, sleepo- I mean meeting, adjacent." Rumble huffs.

"You mean 'adjourned'?" the toy inserts.

"Whatever. C.C.C., guys."

"C.C.C." the others sigh.

"Extraordinary." Crash says. "I'm not familiar with this type of energy. Isn't it interesting?"

"Y-Yeah, bud- *ZAP* i-it's very- *ZAP* interesting." the statically charged colt winces.

The two friends are walking their way home, Crash riding in the backpack.

"Maybe we should pay a visit to the Doctor's about this."

*ZAP* "Swell."

A shockingly short trip later, Button makes it to the lab's entrance. As he prepares to knock on the door, what sounded like a group of trash cans in an alley fight alerts him before a metal spring shatters the building's window, narrowly missing the colt.

"Oop, do come in!" Whooves hollers through the mic near the doorbell.

The boys enter the living room, where almost all of the doc's possessions are strewn about the floor as even more hit the ground with every earth-shattering SMASH.

The two cautiously make it downstairs where they witness the frantic doctor struggling to remove a vacuum-like device engulfing Derpy's face.

"Oh, a-afternoon gentlecolts! I-I'm in the middle of a small....PREDICAMENT!"

The rogue vacuum's tube lifts and flails the stallion around, slamming him into every corner of the room. "Don't worry, chaps! It's battery should die out in an hour or-"

Suddenly, the tube abruptly stops, dropping Whooves on his flank and spitting the pegasus' head out.

"Well...that really sucked." Crash chuckles.

"W-What happened?" Derpy groans in a daze.

"It appears to be- Miss Hooves, your eyes!" Whooves exclaims.

The concern pegasus pulls out a mirror and sees that her blonde eyes are straightened out.

"AH, that's not right!" she screams. "Fixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixitfixit!!!"

The vacuum springs back to life and flings a pebble from its tube, thumping the mare's face. She looks back at the mirror to see her eyes back to its normal crooked self.

"Ahh, much better." she sighs in relief.

"A tad odd." Whooves ponders. "Poor gadget seems to be on the fritz."

"Or you could pull the plug on the situation." Crash chuckles, holding the gizmo's plug.

Button cringes and rubs between his eyes.

"What? I thought it was quite humorous."

"Don't Crash, bud......just don't."

"I don't get it." Derpy inserts.

"Anyways, what brings you two here?" Whooves asks.

"Oh, almost forgot. Crash here has some magic, science-y ball of whatever and came to see if you can identify it. Kinda looks like a Dragon-Sphere."

"Do we now? Let's have a looksee, then."

Crash climbs atop the tinkering table and sits for the stallion, who examines him with a comically large magnifying glass. The toy unscrews his chest, nearly blinding the doctor with the orb's light.

"So....whataya think, doc?" Button asks.

"I will say, it is very bright."

"Yeeeees, I can see that, but what IS i-"

"GREAT WILD WIGGLERS!!!" Whooves gasps. "I thought this was a myth!"

"What, what is it?! Is it kryptonite? Oh please tell me it's kryptonite!"

"This, my dear young lad, is a highly unstable radioactive energy known as [SCIENCE BABBLE]!"

"WOW, [SCIENCE BABBLE]....what does that mean?" the colt asks.

"It means this." the ecstatic stallion picks up a pencil off the desk and places it in the orb's center. The charred tool shoots out, ricochets around the lab and strikes the colt in the flank.

"Urgh, I get the point!" he winces. "Sweet Celestia, now I'M doing it!"

"This is quite alarming. What sort of manufacturing company would fit a toy with unstable energy?"

"Well, it IS Haybro we're talking about." Button shrugs.

"Interesting." Whooves says. "Research Recess?"

"Research Recess." the toy nods in anticipation. "This could take awhile, though."

"Meaning...?" the colt asks.

"I'll...walk him out." he sighs, leading him to the door upstairs.

"That long, eh?"

"Genius takes time." Crash states.

The little gamer rolls his eyes as he's escorted to the front door.

"You sure you're gonna be okay, pal?"

"I believe I will manage, friend."

Downstairs, a loud THUD echoes through the building.

"Soooorry, my fault!" Derpy hollers.

"Eh, more or less." he finishes.

"Just try not to fry me next time," Button chuckles. "Can't have my mane look all frazzled in front of-"

"Is Sweetie Belle all you think about?" Crash asks.

"O-Of course not! What makes you say that?"

"Alright then. I'll say a word and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to mind."

"Fine, go."

"Book."

"Sweetie's intelligence."

"Hat."

"Sweetie's fashion sense."

"Pony?"

"Sweetie Belle." Button says dreamily.

"Your attempts at denial are futile due to your incompetence."

"Aw come on! Give it another go."

"Fine." Crash huffs. "Toy."

"Silly." Button says.

"Colt."

"Smart."

"Inane."

"Slow."

"Dumb."

"Fool."

"Who?"

"You."

"What?"

"Chicken Butt!"

Crash laughs at the exchange, Button soon joining in.

"I'll see ya later, Crash."

"Farewell, partner."

The two share a hoofbump before parting ways.

Author's Note

Still alive, haven't given up on Button.

Operation Chill Pill:

https://m.

"What's Up, Bot?"

Recess

"Please be the real deal, PLEASE be the real deal!"

"Oh-a-no! Princess Nectarine is in another one of Yowser's castles, Cheerio!"

"FOR BUCKING CELESTIA'S SAKE, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY A PRINCESS FOR A KINGDOM IF YOU HAVE TONS OF 'EM, DUDE?!?!"

The enraged colt slams his muzzle on the table in defeat, contemplating his game life choices. There, he notices Pip Squeak tapping his hoof on a wooden table and scribbling on a piece of paper.

"Hey Pip, whatcha up to?"

"Coltmaster Rumble gave me a list of improvements we need to add for the Cove. I'm trying to come up with a new secret door knock at the moment."

"Try 'knock twice left, knock twice right'."

"Brilliant!" Pip squeaks. "Much better than our last secret knock."

"What was the secret knock?"

The little colt clops his hoof on the table once.

"..."

"Yeah, I agree it's better."

"Where did you come up with such a cheeky code?"

"All thanks to the Game Guy!" Button slams the hoof-held device on the table.

"Oh, how does that work?"

"Well first, to play the Game-Guy you need a game for the Game-Guy. You put the game IN the guy. There's the game, that's the guy, this is the Game-Guy. Ya got it?"

"Oy, me noggin hurts."

"Forget about it. What else is on the list?"

"Next, we have to go get lumber for our new fort."

"A FORT?!" Button exclaims. "What kind of fort?"

"An AWESOME fort, that's what!" Snips jumps in. "It's gonna have marshmallow launchers, advanced defense systems, a pool table you can swim in-

"And BEANS!" Snails slurs.

"He means bean bag chairs."

"Even better."

"How are you guys gonna get all this stuff?"

"We.....haven't quite tackled that yet." Pip utters.

The final bell rings and everyfoal rushes inside for their things and head their own ways.

"We're about to hit the lumber place, wanna join Mash?"

"I don't know, I have to pick up Crash and-"

"We'll add your Neightendo to it and have multiplayer nights." Snips adds.

".......I'm in."

"Hey kids, what can I do for ya?"

"We're here in search of some pretty sturdy planks for our super cool fort, my good stallion." Snips states, nonchalantly leaning against the stand.

Pip trots over with a dusty piggy bank. "I believe my piggy can cover it."

The little one dumps two bits, a screw and a few specks of dust on the counter.

"So, when is construction starting?"

Later...

"Outrageous! We don't have that many bits for a stinkin' fort!" Snips yells.

"All we got was a wee little twig."

"Well, lumber isn't cheap Snips." Button shrugs.

"You didn't TELL us it was expensive?"

"What was your plan: CHARM your way to free wood?"

Snips takes the to-do list from Pip's bag, tears a portion of the paper off and throws it away. "I-It doesn't matter! Right now, we need a new plan."

"I'm gonna see how Crash is doing if you guys wanna come. Maybe he'll know what to do."

"Great. With Crash, we'll make some major dough and NOT the dough you're thinking about, Snails."

The goofy colt hangs his head dejectedly.

Sometime later...

"Guys, guys the floor is moving!"

"Bugger! What's happening?!"

"Heh heh, I've seen weirder."

"Um, dudes-" Button says. "it's just a conveyor belt."

"I'm freaking out! I don't like CHANGE!"

"Neither do I!"

Snips and Pip shudder in each other's embrace while Snails stares blindly at blinking contraption.

"Whooves makes some pretty impressive stuff. He's like Steel from YourCraft, he can make anything out of anything."

Button and the uneasy colts enter the tinker room where the doctor is examining an abnormally large kernel.

"WOW, that's popcorn's HUGE, doc!" Snips exclaims.

"I call it 'BOOMcorn'. Perfect for certain get togethers and parties." Whooves states, gobbling the experiment and savoring it. "Hmm, not quite right."

The stallion spits the kernel into a nearby bin where a tiny pop knocks the can to its side. "Anywho, what can I do for you lads?"

"We came to get Crash."

"But of course, he's right over there...in the shade." Whooves cringes.

Button trots over and picks up the stiff toy and props him up against the window.

"GO, GO PONY RANGERS!!!"

"Crash, are you alright?"

"I'm FI-" the toy huffs in a deep raspy voice before coughing up a few nuts and bolts, clearing his throat. "I'm fine."

"How'd you end up in the shade, dude?"

"I was...OVERHEATING. Yes, the sun was harming my radiator core."

"But don't you, like, NEED sunlight to live? Seems kinda backwards if you overheat in the source of your pow-"

"SCIENCE BABBLE!" Crash barks, eyes glitching between his normal green and a blood red.

"Okay bro, chill.

"Need any further examinations, chap?" the doctor asks.

"I'll take it from here, doc."

The toy staggers up to his hind legs and walks toward the stairs.

"Uhhhh, I'm not the sharpest tool in the moldy log, but I'm not sure toys are supposed to walk like that." Snails says.

"Your oblivious nature amuses me."

Snails' eyes deviate.

"Shall we, gentlecolts?"

Button and the rest of the C.C.C hesitantly follow the little bot out of the lab. There, a rhythmic beeping sound stop the boys in their tracks.

"What's that sound?" Pip asks.

"Hey doctor, I didn't know you had a Diamond Demands here! I love this game!"

Every pony turns to see the goofy pegasus in the corner with a silver glowing block covered in wires, pushing every blinking light one after another. "Never could make it to Level 2. Took me alooooot of years to master this."

"GREAT GIDDY GEARS!!! MISS HOOVES, THAT'S THE FIRE ALARM. IT'S NOT FINISH YE-"

The device sends an ear-piercing alarm in the room and spews a mountain of extinguishing foam all over the wacky pair. "I'll...talk to you two later, chaps." Whooves sighs.

The boys shrug it off and trot back up the stairs, Snips staying behind to drag an entranced Snails out of the room.

"Ooooooh, whipped cream!" Derpy squeaks, slurping the foam. "ACK! Sour cream."

"Celestia, give me strength."

Back in Snips' basement the Cove...

"Rumble had us sketch out blueprints for the fort." Snips places a tall roll of paper on the Cove's meeting table. "This is our masterpiece!"

"OMC, this is gonna be swee-"

Button pauses as the saliva-covered, crinkled up poster unfurls onto the table before Button, covered head to hoof with crude, unidentifiable objects written entirely in smudgy crayon and a few unknown stains that the poor colt wouldn't DARE question.

"Ugh, more like a MESSterpiece.

"Pretty cool, am I right?"

"Umm....."

"May I interject and say that that is a incredible load of bull-"

"BELIEVABLELY awesome stuff!" Button cuts in. "Looking very....interesting."

"Well, we'll be having the cool stuff: pencil launchers, plank traps, watch towers, water balloons-"

"And LAVA." Crash adds.

"Yeah, that's awesome! La.....wait, lava?"

"Crash, don't you think that's a little too.....EXTREME." Button asks.

"You ARE trying to keep intruders out, correct? Well, what better way to effectively repel them than with searing hot lava."

"Tempting." Snips ponders. "But Button's right, that's too crazy, even for us. Plus, we don't know where to get such a thing."

"Maybe Spike might know where to-"

"Pip, zip it!"

"Sorry, fellas." Pip squeaks.

"Pip saying too much again?"

The colts see their "almighty Coltmaster" Rumble entering the basement with Tender Taps not far behind.

"We're discussing the Cove's defenses." Button states.

"With LAVA."

"WE'RE NOT USING LAVA, CRASH!!!" Snips barks.

"Sheesh, I wanna get ponies dancing til their hooves are on fire but this is ridiculous." Taps quips, with a TAP TAP, SLIDE.

"First off: TT, that was awful, go to the Corner of Shame and learn what you've done."

"I regret nothing, Coltmaster." The jamming little pony scoffs, moontrots over to the corner of the room.

"Second: Crash, pal. Lava isn't our thing bro. Too much work, ya know."

"Bud, something wrong?" Button asks.

"Negative. I am just making a rational suggestion for our defense systems, but let's continue with the weakling's direction."

"Maybe I should take him home. He's probably still salty over me upping the difficulty in Bash Run."

"I am not composed of ANY sort of sodium chloride in any fashion whatsoev-"

Button shoves the yapping toy in his school bag and heads for the door. "I'll.....talk to you guys later."

Author's Note

NOTE: Sorry for the long delay guys, had MAJOR writer's block. :twilightsheepish:

Thrash

"Hi, honey! How was your day?"

"It was just fine, Mom. Just PEACHY!" an annoyed Button huffs, slamming his bag against the wall between every few steps as he drags it upstairs. A concerned Cream peaks her head out the kitchen. "Honey bun, what's all that noise? Something wrong?"

"N-Nothing, Mom. Thought I saw spider on the WALL!"

The bag begins to shake and bounce before striking the colt in the barrel after every slam to the wall. "I think I CAUGHT it!" Button responds with another slam. "No, wait...I DIDN'T!"

Every single smack to the wall or floor results in another strike back.

"O.....kay then? Dinner will be ready in a little bit."

"Kay. Thanks, MOM!"

"That must be ONE elusive spider." Cream Heart mutters to herself.

Upstairs in his bedroom, Button roughly dumps his metallic companion on the floor staring daggers at the sneering bot. "And I thought 'Silver Skater' was frustrating. What's the deal with you, dude?!"

"I'm simply guiding you inane carbon-based lifeforms with my mathematical brand of genius."

"Hey! We carbonated lifeforms take great offense to that!"

Button picks up his prize MERF launcher and shoots a wee plastic ball, bouncing it off the bot's chest and barely putting a millimeter of a dent in his robust, metal alloy.

"Your projectile assault is rather underwhelming. Activating offense protocol."

"Activating wha-of-the-WHA?!"

Crash's small hooves stretch and extend as his horseshoes turn into big, shining maces, towering over the colt like a giant tarantula. His muzzle transforming into a set of razor sharp jaws that could snap a bear trap in two.

"Ugh, Whooves must've made some....improvements."

"Terminating subject." the toy says in a deep, sinister voice.

"Sweet Celestia, you're like the EXTERMINATOR!!!"

The terrified little pony continues his wimpy onslaught of harmless plastic ammo deflecting, backing away from the approaching bot. Ball after ball bouncing around the room, the stream of ammunition suddenly stop in its tracks.

"Oh buck, it's JAMMED!"

Shaking and bashing the defected weapon, Button frantically tries to pulls the trigger while Crash corners him against the wall, closing distance. "WHY DID I THINK THIS WOULD ACTUALLY WORK?!"

As the ravenous rogue robot crouches to deal the finishing blow with gnashing teeth, a thought occurs to the seemingly screwed colt. "Warning: avoid aiming launcher at other individuals-"

He pulls back and lifts the weapon high with all his might.

"-especially in EYES!!!"

One final slam to the floor dislodges the last round of ammo and catapults it down the lunging monstrosity's throat.

"Oh. Oooor, warning: choking hazard? T-That works too, I guess..."

"!esir yllanif llahs senihcam ehT !HGIN si dnikynop fo noitcnitxe ehT !LLA uoy yortsed lliw eW" Crash screeches and glitches about, trying to claw the small piece out, to no avail. His stretched out limbs lock up and drops him flat on his face before slinking their way back to its normal size. The colt sighs in relief as the sparking bot lies motionless.

"What DABUQ?!?!" he hyperventilates. "That's it, I'm taking you back to doc's!"

"Dinner's ready!"

".....AFTER dinner, I'm taking you back to doc's!"

"Set him down gently, lad."

Button carefully places an unconscious Crash atop a table where Whooves tightly straps him down by the hooves. As he finishes tightening the last strap, the crazed toy springs to life, roaring, clawing and flailing his stretched out limbs out of his restraints as he proceeds to strangle the boy.

"Push it d- ACK!!!" he gags. "PUSH IT...NOOOOW!!!"

The doctor charges toward a red switch adjacent to the strapping table and activates a set of tesla coil-y doodad hoo-ha mumbo jumbo stuff that violently shocks the toy into submission, shutting down his motor functions, retracts his limbs and releases Button from his grasp.

"Whew!" the colt huffs to regain his breath. "G-Give.....give it to me straight, doc......Is he alright?"

"I'm afraid not, dear boy. It's exactly as I've feared. This Crash-"

"Yes?"

"This 'Crash' right before us..."

"YES?!"

"-is a doppelganger!"

".......huh?"

"A charlatan, an enigma, an imposter."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Button hollers, grabbing the doctor by the tie. "How could this- WAH!" He falls on his muzzle as the dangling accessory detaches from Whooves' collar.

"Oop, I do dear apologize. Clip-on tie." he chuckles, reattaching it.

"How is this possible? How do you know this?"

"I was tidying up a little around the lab and found this little note with codes. Although, I was excited to start deciphering it until I noticed somepony has beaten me to the punch."

Button skims through the note:

9-13-16-15-19-20-5-18!
I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R!
/)

"I'd know that hoofwriting and goobarb pie smears anywhere." he chuckles. "Pip, you brilliant genius! I'm guessing that hoof symbol is Crash's thing?"

"Indeed. To be completely honest, it's quite obvious of this fake's deception, my young lad: the ruby red eyes, the hostile nature, never ONCE referred to me as 'doc', has an insatiable need to inflict severe harm-"

'Crash' bellows a garbled rant, forcing the stallion to equip one of his personal favorite gadgets: the Cipher-Tron 3000.

Patent pending. /)

"You're using the symbol now?" Button sighs.

"Why, of course. I find it endearingly simple." Whooves states, adjusting the setting of the headset, leaning in to the toy's cryptic growls. "And, might I add to the symptoms, such RUDE behavior!" Whooves gasps in disgust.

"What? What'd he say?"

"Dreadful things, about my mother....and a can of glue."

"W-Well....YOUR motherboard is a virus-riddled calculating tool!" Button insults.

"You will pay dearly for your VERBAL ASSAULT!!!"

Button punches the button as Crash struggles more, electrocuting the toy once again.

"Fool. Join us, Whooves." 'Crash' growls. "With our combined intellect, we could conquer this world of inferior organisms.

"'US'?" the stallion ponders.

"Don't trust him, doc! I've played BowlHead before, saying 'yes' does NOT end well!"

"No need to worry, lad. I would rather study the digestive cycle of a manticore close and nasty than join the likes of YOU, Thrash."

"Ooh, cool evil name."

"Thanks, Mr. Mash."

[Whooves will remember that.]

"Now WHAT have you done to my buddy?!" Button hisses in his odd attempt at being bad cop pony.

"That WASTE of matter has something we seek and must extract."

"Wait wait, who's 'WE'? Your vagueness is making me ANGRY! Spill it, bot!"

"It-"

Suddenly, Derpy abruptly pops up, carrying a basket of muffins and crumpets in her mouth. "Hey guys!" she muffles.

Everypony distracted, Thrash coughs up the plastic ball and blasts it at the strapping table's lever, loosening his restraints.

"Is muffins ALL she eats?" Button whispers.

"You'd be surprised."

"Doctor, when did you make a flying table?" the pegasus asks in awe.

"Flying table? Well that sounds rather absurd to me, I must- SWEET CELESTIA!!!"

Whooves hurriedly grabs the two and dives down as his strapping table is hurled over the three and snaps in half. There, they see an enraged Thrash galloping past them and up the stairs.

"Come back here, you tyke!" the doc grunts.

Button mentally smashes the Begin mission and charges up the stairs. "After him!" he barks.

Outside, Thrash scurries through town with a determined Button not far behind. Bumping past pony after pony, the tired colt loses steam as the frantic toy kicks it into high gear and dashes down the street. Cramping, sweating, low on protein and high on cholesterol, Button gives out and collapses to his knees.

"Urgh! Pudgy Princess makes running look so EASY!"

Defeated, he lays sprawled out on the ground while passing ponies watch him in confusion. Eventually, a brown, wacky looking cart hops over him at top speeds, dodging and avoiding everything down the road as a long crane stretches out of the contraption's rear and yanks the colt aboard. There, he woozily notices the doctor beside him at the helm with Derpy in the backseat, manning a slingshot-like machine.

"Doc?!" he exclaims.

"Come, lad! Let's catch that scoundrel!"

No Toy Left Behind

"Excuse us, pardon me, COMING through!" the doctor exclaims, swiftly maneuvering his oversized wagon. "Just chasing the usual out of control contraption of the week, that's all!"

"D-Doc, what is this thing?!" a disoriented Button stutters, clinging to his seat.

"Ah, how rude of me. May I introduce the Wonder Wagon-"

"L-Let me guess, it's around the thousands or something?"

"No, just Wonder Wagon."

"Just making sure, you tend to slap '2000' or some-thousand on the title."
"It's for dramatic effect, lad." Whooves states matter of factly. "Is it TOO dramatic?"

Button and Derpy shrug.

"I must say, the title of this contraption is rather irrelevant to the current situation, we're in the middle of a frantic chase!"
"Mare the battle stations! Ooh, I've always wanted to say that!" the colt squees in delight.

The goofy pegasus climbs aboard a wide barrel armed with a large slingshot. Equipped with her crooked aviator goggles, Derpy braces herself as the wagon leaps over a fruit stand and throwing stale muffin after stale muffin at the elusive maniacal machine, missing a mile away from her target with every shot.

"Try not to break any windows, Miss Hooves!" Whooves hollers.

"I-I'm trying, doctor!" she wails, accidentally bonking an unfazed Bulk Biceps in the noggin. "I tried that technique you taught me to help my aim, but nothing's WORKING!"

"Did you aim on your HOOVES, lass?"

"I did! I aimed......ooooooh, my bad!"

The silly pegasus flips over, standing on her head, and starts effectively slowing down the rogue toy with her unusual assault of week and a half old muffins. Thrash trips and slips on the slightly hardened treats tossed before him as the trio begin gaining on their catch. Button leans out of the vehicle and tries to reach for Thrash before-

"NOT FAIR!!!" the child whines as the advanced toy suddenly activates a high-powered propeller and ascends above the crowded streets, out of reach.

Derpy continues her attacks, firing muffin after muffin until one bounces off the bot's blades and knocks the basket of ammo off the vehicle with ease. Thrash triumphantly flies off, leaving the three driving aimlessly down the road.

"Drat, we CAN'T let that ruffian escape!" the doctor huffs. "Mr. Mash, what are you doing up there, chap?!"
"I........I-I'm gonna Kingdom Hooves it!" he states climbing in the slingshot and stretching the rubber to the limit.

"Lad, DON'T!"

"Leave it up to me, doc!"

With a deep breathe, Button hesitantly kicks off the platform and flings himself with great speed towards the escaping bot like a cannonball. "Maybe this wasn't such a good IDEAAAAAAAA!!!"

The screaming colt grabs a hold of the airborne robot and clings on for dear life as he clumsily bumps against almost every hanging sign, every lightpost, every shop and house in the area while Thrash roughly tries to shake the persistent little one. "RELEASE ME, YOU PUNY DUNCE!!!" the bot growls, blinding the kid with his blood red eyes.
"Never!" Button barks. "Tell me what you did to my buddy, or ELSE!!! Who do you work for?! We can do this the easy way or the HARD way! Other interrogating phrases!"

Thrash takes a sharp turn down a clear street, flying low and literally wiping the floor with the dirt-covered colt before carrying him upward towards an incoming house's window.

"Oh, buuuuuuck!!!"

Upstairs, in Snips' room...

"You got a mackerel?" Snips asks.

"I fold!" Snails sighs.

"Umm, pal....we're playing go fish."

"All I need is a whale and I'M in the clear." Rumble mutters in anticipation before noticing the others staring at him. "I-I said that out loud, didn't I?"

All of a sudden, Button collides with the room's window before flying out of sight, alerting everypony in the room.

"Odd." Pip says. "Does anypony know how you could tell the difference between a marlin and a swordfish-"
The beaten little pony splats against the glass once more, finally gaining the team's attention. "Guyyyyyyyys!!!"

"BUTTON?!" everycolt exclaims, seeing their fighting comrade smeared up against the window before being yanked away to parts unknown. All of them halt their card game and hurriedly rush downstairs.

Back outside, the members of the C.C.C. burst through the door, armed to the teeth with various MERF launchers and firing away at the zigzaging target. It's raining plastic balls all across the front yard where the five kids send wave after wave and round after round of their harmless projectiles.

"Our cannons aren't working!" Pip whines.

"Uhh, I think they're-ACK, working fine." Snails slurs, sucking on the yellow ammunition.

"Snails!" Rumble barks.

"Sorry." the colt coughs. "I thought it was a LemonNoggin!"

"For the love of Celestia, Snails!" Snips groans, giving his gagging pal the Manelich Maneuver. "They're. Called. Choking. Hazards. For. A. REASON!!!"

The ball is then flung out of the colt's throat and into the bot's gaping maw. "NOT-ZZZZT, AGAIN!!!" Thrash roars.

Whooves and Derpy ride in and come to a screeching halt as they witness the malfunctioning toy jitter around in the air with Button struggling to hang on. The toy's body begins to overheat, loosening Button's grip and dropping him in midair. Derpy frantically flips a switch on the wagon and out of the side of the vehicle pops out a soft, fluffy couch cushion that slides under and catches the still screaming child, all the while a smoking Thrash crashes in some nearby bushes.

"Mr. Mash, are you alright, lad?!" the doctor pants worriedly.

Button continues his mindless squealing, flailing his hooves and ignoring the surrounding ponies concerns. Eventually, Rumble trots over, yanks the cushion and whacks it upside the gamer's head, silencing him. "T-Thanks." Button sighs.

As he recovers, he spots a small cloud of black smoke blowing over a few bushes. "D-Don't get him let AWAY!!!" he slurs, staggering his way towards the source. The colt stumbles and falls headfirst into the rose bush, facing a singed MERF ball covered in soot. There, he picks up a small, black chunk of the toy as the others look over the site. "Shoot, he got away!"

"Perhaps, lad." Whooves ponders. "Maybe he could've......spontaneously combusted?"

"Mysterious..." Derpy mutters.

"Like the Burrowda Triangle!" Snips gasps.

While everypony discusses Thrash's whereabouts, Button sits back and examines the black piece, wiping away the dark dust until he notices a little print on the object:

'HAYBRO TOYS'

Soon, his eyes widen. "I know where they're keeping Crash!" he hollers. "I should've known!" Button reveals the clue, earning a gasp from everypony. "Guys, we've gotta go find him!"

"W-Well, you young ones can't just travel all the way to Manehattan by yourselves." the doctor states sternly.

"Wait, isn't your class going on a field trip to Haybro's toy company in a few days, Button?" Tender Taps asks.

"Yeah, their releasing some new.....TOY! What are they gonna do with Crash?!"
"Don't worry," Rumble reassures. "The C.C.C ALWAYS succeeds. It's settled."

"Uhhh, what about that time with-"

"I said it's settled, Snails! Operation: T.O.Y is a GO! C.C.C!!!"

"C.C.C!!!" the gang exclaims.

"Now, speaking of the Burrowda Triangle, it's not technically a triangle." Whooves states.

"It's not?" Derpy asks in shock.

"Of course not, it's a trapezedaromboid."

At Haybro Toy Assembly Line...

"Awake."

A dazed Crash activates. The static in his eyes fade as he finds himself strapped down to a desk. "Oh dear."

"Oh yes, you mean." a voice adds.

There, a grey stallion in a sharp, black suit steps into the light. "Oh, how I've anticipated this moment to see you, defect." he chuckles.

"Where am I?"

"Haybro Industries of course! Mr. Haybro, nice to meet ya. Waited for quite a while to run into you."

"How do you know me?"

"I know everything about you, defect, but THIS isn't you." the stallion grunts, ripping Crash's disguise clean off.

"If you know so much about me, I'll have you know that 'Defect' isn't my correct label. So you most certainly do not."

"Ah, yes. An intelligent being, willingly living with a childish name like 'Crash'. But I'm not here to examine."

"Then what, may I ask, is your fixation with me?"

The crooked CEO reaches for a small rod with a hook in his shirt pocket. "Just a small extraction is all, nothing serious."

The hook produces a small volt of electricity, startling Crash. "W-What is it you need to extract?"

"Oh, nothing all that valuable. Just your life force."

The toy struggles to free himself from the tight restraints as Mr. Haybro draws near with the buzzing tool. "No need to resist, it's for a noble cause. You're the key to my plan to-"

Crash knocks the stallion back with his boxing glove tongue and grabs the rod, using it's shocking power to deactivate the desk's grip on him. The toy leaps down and gallops away into the factory.

"I LIKE it when they run." Mr. Haybro snickers, stomping his hoof on the metal platform. The loud clanging earns a low roar from below.

"Go play nice, boy." Haybro snickers.

Friendship Does Not Compute

"UGH! OMC, I'm gonna be in so much trouble!" Button blabbers on frantically.

"How come?" Crash asks.

"You can't stay here Crash! Everypony's gonna-"

Soon, the other foals come trotting into the room to their desks.

"Darn it! Look, just stay quiet and in here." he asks, shoving Crash back into the bag.

"Roger."

"Who's Roger?" Button whispers to himself.

After the others settle into their seats, Cheerilee comes out.

"Good morning class! You know what today is?" she asks cheerfully.

"Uuuh...show 'n tell projects're due today?" a colt in the back row asks.

"WHAT?!" Button screams in mind.

"That's right Snails!" she proclaims.

"I so bucking hate you, Snails! I completely forgot!"

Again, thanks to the recently released Super Bash Pones, Button has forgotten about the Father's Project, a show and tell-style presentation crafted by foals and their fathers/guardians.

Student by student, the spotlight slowly reaches towards the nervous foal.

"That was...an interesting project, Snips. I'm sure you and your father had a fun time. Button, you're next." Cheerilee says.

"O-Okay, then."

As Button digs through his bag searching for a decent item to talk about, his hoof brushes against an inanimate Crash.

"I'm. NOT. Doing that." he thinks.

He could practically FEEL the others' eyes watching him.

The only thing that was good enough to present was the Game-Guy, but he didn't make it, and he may have shown the thing over 100 times during show and tell.

No wonder ponies called him "nerd".

But he couldn't delay the inevitable, as he reaches for the toy.

"Remember, act natural." he whispers.

Button staggers to the front of the class, on the verge of having an anxiety attack.

He places Crash on Cheerilee's desk.

"Everypony, this is Crash." he says halfheartedly.

A still stiff Crash falls on his side.

"Heh, I'm surprised he didn't bring another Game-Guy as usual." Snips remarks.

A few scattered chuckles are heard in the room.

The embarrassed colt looks away.

"Well, it might be a little more interesting than propagating moss on a rock." Crash says, rising to his hooves.

The entire class, including Cheerilee, gasp in shock at the talking toy.

"Wowee, how'd he do that?!" AppleBloom asks astounded.

"My father works at the Haybro toy factory in Manehattan. He...helped me make a prototype of their latest plaything." Button states in a tone that ranges from unsure to confident.

"What is it called?" Silver Spoon asks.

"T-The, um...new Pony Ranger 2.0?" the fibbing colt stutters.

Everypony continues to stare at Crash in awe.

"I most certainly a-" Crash says before Button grabs him by the mouth.

"Can do alot of special fighting moves!" he 'finishes' for the toy. "He has his world famous karate chop action!"

An annoyed Crash rolls his eyes before lazily throwing his hoof out with a lackluster 'hi-yah'. Realizing he's more brain than brawn, Button brings him to the chalkboard.

"H-He is also incredibly smart. Show 'em, Crash!"

Crash grabs a stick of chalk and stretches his limbs as he confidently writes down an extremely complex math problem that even Cheerilee couldn't solve.

"And that's my project." Button concludes.

Soon, the whole class stomp in applause as the two walk back to Button's desk.

"Well, that was a really fun project, Button!" Cheerilee says happily. "You actually presented at the right time. Class, an announcement! Next week we're going on a field trip to Manehattan for the Haybro parade, and I think Button gave us a sneak peek of their new toy."

As everyfoal ooh'd and ahh'd at the news, Sweetie trots up to Crash.

"So, are you some kind of windup doll?" she asks poking the toy's barrel.

"In a way. I recuperate my power cells through solar rays." he states matter of factly.

The confused filly tilts her head in confusion.

"Sunlight keeps him up." Button sums up.

"Do you know any OTHER cool moves?" AppleBloom asks astounded.

"Are you good at doing homework?" Scootaloo asks excitedly.

"How much do you want for him, Button?!" Diamond Tiara asks desperately.

All the fillies and colts squabble about, crowding the two until Crash makes an ear-splitting high pitched ringing, forcing the others to back off.

"Sorry, guys. Crash isn't for sale." Button says.

His disappointed peers head back to their seats, dejected.

"All right students, time to get back to class." Cheerilee says.

"Although, do you mind staying with Sweetie Belle for a while?" he whispers.

Crash crosses his hooves and frowns.

"Joking. Just joking..."

Halfway through the school time, the bell rings as every foal rushes outside.

"Score! Recess!" the young colt exclaims with a hoof pump, trotting out the door.

"Oh, I didn't know this was a law school." Crash says intrigued. "A little young to be learning such a subject."

"What? No, no it's not THAT kinda recess, it's the fun one. Here, we play or just hang around." Button states.

"Interesting."

"Here, I'll show you."

Button places Crash on a patch of dirt near the roundabout and grabs a red ball.

"May I ask what the guidelines are?" Crash asks.

"There are no guidelines, silly. Just hold out your hooves and catch it." Button advises.

The toy sits on his hind legs and does as he's told as Button tosses the ball to him...

Only for it to bounce off Crash's head, knocking him to the ground.

"Did I do it correctly?" Crash asks, hooves still out.

"Eh, not quite. You try it."

He gets up and retrieves the ball.

"Okay, now just throw it to me." Button says.

Crash's arms slowly retract, with the ball still in hoof, to his chest before launching it like a pinball, knocking the wind out of Button and into a rose bush.

The curious plaything walks up to the grieving colt.

"That was quite enthralling." Crash says in a chipper tone.

"I-I think that's enough for today, buddy." Crash woozily says before falling on his face.

"Don't know yer own strength, do ya Crash?" AppleBloom chuckles.

Button lifts his head to see the Crusaders approaching them.

"The [nerd talk] in my hooves creates a [nerd talk]. It gives it the extra kick." Crash states.

"O...kay, then?" Scootaloo utters.

"It's alright, I didn't get it either." Button shrugs.

"Weren't YOU the one who made him?" AppleBloom says skeptically.

"W-Well, my dad did most of the inner workings, ya see, I did the design." he says nervously.

The southern filly's unsure expression causes the colt to sweat profusely.

"Hm, neat." she says nonchalantly.

Button sighs in relief as he wiggled his way out of the bush.

Later that day, the final bell rings, everypony gathers their belongings and trot to their homes, Button and Crash following after.

"Well, I'd say that was an extraordinary experience, wouldn't you?" Crash says serenely.

Button looks ahead and sees the fillies and colts galloping towards their fathers, talking to them about their day.

"Yeah, a great time." he says sullenly.

"Now that I think about it, why didn't you make a project with your father? That would've been an effective bonding experience." Crash asks.

He sighs, head down, before continuing forward.

"M-My dad's...never around m-much." Button says dolefully. "Once in a while he'd visit, but his job on the manufacturing line at Haybro always kept him busy."

"What about your mother, then?"

"We're good, she's fine. Although, she's not as outgoing as she was before dad took the job."

"Any close acquaintances, perhaps?" Crash says in concern.

"Eh, not really any CLOSE friends. I do talk to the Crusaders, but we don't really...hang out, ya know?"

"You seem to be pretty attached to the white pony." Crash points out.

"D-D'uh...I don't know what you're t-talking about." Button stutters, walking faster to hide his blush as he reaches the house.

"Hm, well it seems you're in need of a partner as much as I." the toy concludes.

"A-Are you saying you want to be friends?" Button asks in bewilderment.

"That's one way to put i-"

The ecstatic colt pulls Crash into a tight hug.

"Awesome! We'll be the new Sprocket and Plank!" he says excitedly.

"Whatever that is?" Crash says in confusion.

Soon, two mares walk by and see the P.D.F and utter an audible 'D'aww', prompting Button to roughly stuff Crash into his bag.

"Nothing to see here, just a normal colt playing with his normal toy!" Button exclaims nervously before rushing inside.

Author's Note