My Little Pony: Fantasy is Reality

I cracked my fingers one by one, getting ready to begin typing. Before me, a torrent was running on my computer screen, the game's download fifty-five percent complete.

Not that it would take long now. The download might have been three terabytes, but my bandwidth could make short work of that. I'd been excited to take a look at the new My Little Pony based RPG for a while now, itching with anticipation at the prospect of getting on there and causing some havoc for the corporate gods.

They'd been selling this game by the million for weeks now, marketing it as a fully interactive experience set in the middle of Equestria with the characters any fan of MLP would know and love. Due to how wildly popular the show was now, having graduated from a cult following to mainstream appreciation about nine years ago, there was no shortage of fans around the globe.

And their combined pockets were deep. Hasbro and their affiliates knew that. The toy giant collaborated with BrandMax Online to bring the game to fruition, using revolutionary gaming technology that allowed AI to function with the same level of flexibility and intelligence as actual humans—or in this case ponies—might, all while emulating their original show voices and staying in keeping with their personalities.

In simple terms, being in the game was meant to be the equivalent of making the entire world of Equestria one hundred percent real. I took a sip of my coffee, barely warm, watching as my download bar shot past eighty percent. My software was already open, my tor browser booted up and ready, every failsafe in place and VPN active to ensure that I wouldn't be detected when forcing my way into the game's main computer.

The plan was pretty simple, almost routine for me by now after so many similar jobs in the past. Put myself into the game as a virtual entity, much like a player does, bypass all game related restrictions and firewalls and locate the data caches for player information and account names. But stealing directly from the player didn't feel right, I never did that.

As such, the next step was going to be accessing the data banks and payment processes for all cosmetics and downloadable items and attaching a bug. That bug would undetectably feed a portion of any money spent into a virtual account while still giving the players whatever they paid for. The bug would only be taking a tiny amount of profits, around a third of a percent, and it was programmed to empty itself into a crypto converter every twenty-five minutes, relocating elsewhere and repeating the process.

The fun part was when it was detected. That's when it would shoot into overdrive, taking arbitrary amounts of money directly from the game servers and transferring them to random accounts as the developers feebly chased it. I called it my Locust, but with it, I felt like Robin Hood.

A single beep, and I saw that the download was finally finished. I downed the rest of my cup, swallowing the last dregs as I set it down and equipped my headset. Next came the VR glasses, which cosmetically looked just like reading glasses now. The beginning was simple: open the game's menu with my program running in the foreground, begin to fuck with the main console as I enter.

The title screen flashed, and it looked just like the show from before, the graphics of the game almost identical to the cartoon with the exception of a little added sheen. That said, there was certainly detail where the cartoon hadn't offered it before, extra dots of scenery and larger variance between characters, the little things that made the setting look truly vibrant.

I'd seen My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic before, even enjoyed it. I never had the chance to watch the show in its entirety, but I'd admit that a smile tugged at my lips as I clicked the start button and a very distinctive Rainbow Dash flew past my eyes, offering me a wink as she disappeared into the clouds. She looked so real that I already felt as if I could reach out and touch her, or even fly after her, and I hadn't even begun playing yet.

Next was a screen full of options, an image of Twilight Sparkle sitting in a chair reading the backdrop.

[Story Mode]
[Mission Select]
[Options]
[Credits]
[Extras]
[Downloadable Content]
[Cheats]

I raised my eyebrow at the 'Cheats' option, I hadn't expected that. That one and the 'Mission Select' were both greyed out, so I had to assume that they weren't available until I'd progressed so far in the story. 'Downloadable Content' was what I was here for, but I needed to put myself in the game before I could initiate step one, so I went to click story mode...

And hesitated. I just couldn't start a game before making sure the settings were optimised first, even if I was only there to steal and cause chaos. Well, and maybe enjoy the game a little bit too.

Ten minutes later, I was satisfied that each slider and bar had been set to the most optimal setting for my rig, and I was finally ready to progress. Casting the thought out with my consciousness, I felt myself pressing the story button without moving an inch. This took me to a character creation screen, and I couldn't help but grin at how intricate some of the details were.

Choose Your Race

[Alicorn: The most powerful pony tribe, the alicorn boasts a natural magic resistance and high intelligence, as well as high strength and charisma, but suffers from low willpower and terrible luck. Characters of this race are blessed with longevity and are hard to kill, but may have a more somber experience throughout gameplay due to them outliving other characters. Requires Gods & Immortals DLC pack.]

[Changeling: A cunning creature with the ability to transform, boasting high charisma and dexterity but low strength and endurance. The changeling can assume any form, but finds it hard to make friends outside of its race while being itself. Feeds on love, and uses it as a temporary stat-booster.]

[Diamond Dog: A race of miners and skirmishers, slavers and traders. High endurance and strength, but terrible intelligence and willpower. Diamond dogs receive a natural barter boost, and have reasonably high health, but are often short lived. Play if looking for a challenge.]

[Draconequus: A user of choatic magic. Mental instability is common in this race, and can lead to them performing actions without player control, but this is offset by their natural intelligence and magic scores being the highest of any race, as well as a decent score on charisma. Requires Gods & Immortals DLC pack.]

[Dragon: Dragons are incredibly powerful, the strongest race of all, but are seldom seen outside of their own tribes. Natural elemental resistances and high wisdom are other benefits of being a dragon, but expect to suffer everywhere else. New Game+ only.]

[Earth Pony: The strongest pony tribe, physically. Some are able to rival even an alicorn in brute physical strength. The longest lived pony tribe, their innate magic bolsters natural healing and allows them to recover from wounds faster. An earth pony is often able to draw on support from others in a large group, as they are the most numerous tribe. Apart from strength boosts, they are about average in everything else. A good first play.]

[Griffon: Unarmed attacks are naturally bolstered by griffons, but they're not the best kissers with those beaks. Charisma penalties apply when speaking to ponies, but dexterity and flight speeds are both high to counter that.]

[Human: Does this one need an explanation? New game+ only.]

[Pegasus: Fast and charismatic, this tribe of outgoing ponies are extroverted and exciting. Their flight abilities are rivaled by only the most talented griffons and dragons, and their charisma boost is the highest of any race. Low strength and intelligence are an issue, but at least you won't have trouble getting laid!]

[Unicorn: The most intelligent of the pony tribes, able to use their horns to produce magic and have a high willpower. Low strength, and endurance are all too familiar to the unicorn that spends their time reading, performing magic, and doing little of anything else.]

It wasn't hard for me to pick the pegasus option.

...what? Flying sounds like a lot of fun. It's nothing to do with the mention of sex, of course. As I pressed it, it brought me to another screen that asked me to pick a gender, and after a good deal of hesitation, I settled on male. (Interestingly, Futanari was also a DLC option.)

I began to blast through the aesthetic side of character creation, having fun with it as I changed every aspect of my character until I felt as if I had an accurate representation of myself, then fiddling with it a little more just for fun. What I ended up with was a pegasus stallion, a little taller than average with a large wingspan, a light grey coat, and auburn hair, along with striking brown eyes that I couldn't help but consider captivating. They weren't like the orange lenses I wore, but they were remarkable all the same.

No scars, no marks, I kept my stallion's hair short-ish and scruffy, no extra facial hair to speak of besides his fur. I made him twenty-two in age, and named him Space after my online alias. All of that done, it was time to finally look at the stats sheet. When I was finished messing around with it, it read like this:

[Space: Pegasus Stallion, Level 1]

[HP: 38/40]
[MP: 0/0]
[Str: 3]
[Int: 4]
[Dex: 6]
[Agl: 7]
[Wil: 5]
[Wis:3]
[Cha:8]
[End: 4]
[Lck: 5]

It feels funny for me of all people to be playing a low intelligence character, but I suppose that's the fantasy element of an RPG for you. Satisfied, I was about to move on, but then I noticed there was an additional dropdown box labelled 'Extra Stats'. Curious, I clicked it.

[Endowment: 8.5"]
[Sex Appeal: 69%]
[Sexual Encounters: 0]
[Sexual Orientation: Unconfirmed]
[Relationship Status: single]

Jesus, that stuff was all catalogued? Hell, they had a fuckin' stat for the size of my cock, I never would have guessed that. Wait, was that small or big for a horse? Guess it was hard to even look at this as a kid's TV show or its derivative anymore, considering how largely adult the audience was now. If there was one thing that was a fact, this game certainly wasn't being marketed with children in mind.

And I was starting to feel increasingly eager to play it. Some juvenile, excited part of me, a hint of perversion there too, was beginning to forget the purpose of this download, the plan I'd been thinking over for days, even weeks now as I prepared the necessary material to break in and attack the system. All of that felt barely relevant at this moment when all I could think about was diving in. I was growing impatient for the beginning, wondering where it might put me and what it might feel like, whether it was as immersive as I had imagined, or whether I was just getting my hopes up for nothing.

One last screen, and it was time to pick a trait.

[Don't go yet! Before you head out there, let's give you something special to make life a little more interesting, okay?]

[Mare Killer: Plus 20% chance of positive interactions with ponies of the opposite sex (doesn't apply to alicorns).]
[Been Working Out?: -2 strength requirement to pick up a mare during sex, +2 strength when fighting.]
[(Hu)man About Town: You get a 50% discount at all bars and restaurants in Equestria, and a seduction bonus when talking to staff! You're a swell guy, people like you.]
[The Plumber: +2 dexterity, 15% barter increase. Put those fingers/hooves/claws to good use!]
[Second Wind: Gain a 50% chance to ignore your refractory period during each sexual encounter; blow her away! (but make sure she's blowing you too, dude.)]

Was it just me, or did a majority of these involve sex or dating in some way? Was it really that major a component of the game? Not that I was complaining, I just hadn't expected so many stats to be completely driven towards it.

Considering the fact that I was a pegasus and had terrible strength, I decided to go with 'Been Working Out?', hoping it would come in handy later on. But hey, was I really going to be picking mares up during sex? Was I even going to be fucking mares?

Either way, it didn't hurt to come prepared. No loading screens to speak of after I hit confirm, and with a nervous heartbeat I fired my program into action just as I felt myself being thrust into the game.

I could feel an ache all around me, there was sunlight glaring through my closed lids.

It really felt as if I was waking up in a pony's body, it was so surreal... I opened my eyes to find that I looked exactly like I had on the character creation screen. I could see my body, feel it, but what I couldn't explain was why I was laying in the middle of a grassy bank with the sun baking me.

Or why a certain Rainbow Dash was hovering over me, looking particularly concerned. "Dude! Are you alright?!" She fluttered her wings as she drew closer to me, inspecting me all over. "I saw you hit the ground hard just now, looked like you were going at a million miles a second! What were you thinking, are you hurt?"

She looked completely and utterly real. It was amazing, as if I was really there. I couldn't even feel a connection to my outside body, but somewhere in my head I could detect the program of my own creation running in the background as it searched out the information of other players. Time to play along, I guess.

"Nah, I'm fine... Think I just took a bit of a tumble." I tried to stand, to stretch out my body, but the first thing I felt was pain shooting up my hooves. It wasn't excruciating by any means, but if I hadn't known already, I wouldn't have been able to say it was virtual.

"Whoa whoa, hang on there. You can't just get up like that!" Rainbow scooted closer to me, prodding at my hoof and jumping back with a flap of her wings when I winced from the contact. "I think you've hurt yourself pretty bad, dude. Let me give you a ride into town."

I looked down at my hoof for any obvious signs of fracture or breakage, but this just looked like a bruise. This must have been how the game tried to foster a relationship from the get-go, giving the player a potentially intimate moment with Rainbow Dash that was seemingly unavoidable. But from what I understood, she wasn't programmed to do anything at all. In fact, her and every other character in this game were completely fluid and autonomous, and it was up to me to work them out.

So I decided to do something a little different, forcing myself to stand on three legs and giving my wings an experimental flap. "No, I think I'll be alright... But could you show me the way back? I think I'm a little lost."

Rainbow looked a little relieved to see me standing straight, but it wouldn't shock me if she jumped out and tried to pick me up the moment I so much as stumbled. "Sure, dude, no problem. It's the least I can do to help you out."

She offered me her wither to wrap my hurt leg around, and grumbling a tad, I accepted. I regretted my reservations the moment I made contact with her soft, warm fur. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before, so snug and receptive to my touch. I was almost tempted to reach forwards and embrace her, like it was an instinct that had suddenly taken hold of me and snuffed out any semblance of rational thought.

Buttt that'd probably get me a punch in the gut. This was Rainbow Dash, after all. She didn't seem like the cuddly type. Keeping the touch to only a foreleg draped over her, we began to walk, and I marvelled at the lifelike aspects of the countryside the entire way. There was a sway to her body that made her feel that bit more real, and up close, she really was quite attractive.

"I'm Rainbow Dash, by the way. You're lucky I was around, you might have had a tough time getting back otherwise."

"Oh, yeah, I know who you are," I said by instinct.

"You do?" She paused in her steps, forcing me to do the same, and all of a sudden I realised how stupid what I just said was. What was I meant to follow it up with? 'Yeah, you're a character in a fictional TV show'?

Suddenly, a grin and a slight blush on her part. "Heh, you must be a Wonderbolts fan? That's pretty rad, dude. I'm still kinda shocked when ponies have heard of me, makes me feel all embarrassed 'n' stuff."

Jesus, what a save. Okay, I got one free fuck up, don't let it happen again. Nodding and smiling, I played along with her perceived explanation. "Yeah, I like to catch a show when I can, you've always been pretty noticeable, too. You've got some really cool stunts, y'know."

"Heh, seriously?!" Suddenly, Rainbow Dash looked away, clearing her throat. "I-I mean yeah, I know. I'm pretty great, and stuff."

Her cool air was so fucking fake and I knew it. Did I already have her on the backhoof? Come to think of it, I did have a really fucking high charisma stat as far as I could tell, and maybe it was influencing the gravity of the things I said? No, it felt like more than that, almost as if I was more confident here, better with my words than I'd ever been before. Everything felt so much more natural and had more character to it. Would I really feel all of my stats influencing how I acted and thought?

Suddenly, it dawned on me that I really needed to buff my intelligence if that was the case.

"Oh, by the way, dude, you dropped these." Rainbow held out a pair of lensless glasses, like the ones I used to send myself into the game, and instantly I recognised what they were. This was the game's counterpart, an accessory that allowed me to bring up my menu, stats screens and more.

Donning the glasses, I channeled my intentions and looked through them only to see hints of a heads up display that I could fully summon at will, as well as a menu that I could access at any point. "Menu," I said aloud, and while it did appear, Rainbow Dash looked at me like I'd gone mad.

"Uhh, we're not at a restaurant, dude. You're not blacking out on me, are you?"

"Huh, no, I..." Fuck, man, how was I supposed to explain blurting 'menu' for no reason? "I was just thinking about getting something to eat, that's all."

Rainbow still looked a little perturbed, but she gave me a slow nod. "I know a few places, if you want some pointers?" A few seconds hesitation, and she added: "I'm pretty hungry too, maybe we could go together?"

I looked away from the translucent screen I'd conjured to her, and she hesitated. "N-not like that, or anything, I just thought we could grab a bite, y'know? Besides, I've gotta make sure you're not faking being okay and aren't gonna fall apart the moment I let go of you."

I was about to nod and say that I thought that sounded like an excellent idea, even if half of the reason was that I needed to sit and think about what I was doing, but my attention was robbed by something very specific I saw in my options menu, a subsection labelled 'Achievements'. I couldn't help but give it a quick glance. I mentally pressed it, and what I saw made it almost impossible for me to keep a straight face.

[The Casanova: Bed each of the mane six.]
[The Bachelor: Go on fifteen dates.]
[The Hitched: Get married to another character.]
[The Hero: Defeat an evil villain and save Equestria.]
[The Royal Fucktoy: Have sex with every princess.]
[The Dedicated: Read more books than Twilight.]
[The Suicidal: Break a Pinkie Promise.]
[The Bro: Acknowledge Spike's existence.]
[The Total Prick: Make fun of Derpy.]
[The Spelunker: Explore fifty locations.]
[The Bearded: Master a spell class.]

What's more, there was an arrow pointing downwards and multiple more pages of achievements that I didn't even have time to look through yet. One thing I could say with confidence was that I was never getting the Total Prick one if I could help it, I liked Derpy.

Seriously though, each of the mane six? Every princess? This was like a dream, right here, and as much as I wished I could focus on the task at hand, the whole reason I was here, I could feel my brain telling me that it wouldn't hurt to simply spend a little time with Rainbow Dash first, my plan would still be there afterwards, surely.

Besides, how could I not want to when she looked like that, felt like that?