My Little Pony: Fantasy is Reality

It was hard for me to get used to that little affection meter floating by Rainbow. So far, it had been the only real reminder that I was actually in a game.

It still didn't deter me. Thoughts on my task were pushed to the side in favour of the moment, my only real interest at this second a want to succeed in my affection quest. Rainbow Dash had led me over to a table, taking point as you'd expect her to, and we were sitting together in silence as I mulled over the best way to go about this whole thing.

And that affection meter was... dipping. Really slowly, but it still was. Was she getting bored of me being sat there doing nothing? Lack of a pause feature was starting to become a little grating, but it made sense, in a way. Even though there weren't meant to be tons of player characters in a single world, the lack of any pause ability led to a more immersive gameplay experience. It didn't really feel as if you were there if you could just turn characters off at any given moment.

And right now, I needed to be working out how to turn Rainbow on. Or at least get her to like me more. She had a little hum to her as she began to tap her hooves on the table, and my eyes were travelling over her features as she did so. "Sorry," I coughed, grabbing a menu and beginning to flick through it, passing one to her as well. "I got a little distracted, you're easy to stare at."

Rainbow's cheeks reddened a little, and instantly that little meter pulsed green as it began to trickle upwards once again. I tried not to focus on it, wondering if I could even toggle it off. While it was helpful to see when I was going wrong, it also made me feel twice as nervous to do anything, considering I'd instantly know how damning the results were afterwards. "You're so terrible," she laughed, hitting my menu with her own. "Honestly, did you think that was a good line?"

I smirked at her honest response. She was right, it was totally shit, but I wasn't going to let onto that so easily. "Fine, think you could do better?"

Rainbow tilted her head, brushing her bangs out of her face as she 'hmm'd for a moment. Finally, she leaned forwards and flashed a confident grin. "I'd close my wings for you, 'cause I know you'd catch me."

The moment I raised an eyebrow, the kind of eyebrow raise that said 'what the fuck that's so corny', her surefire grin faded into something a lot more embarrassed, and she shied back into her seat. "That was..." I'd half expected dialogue options to come up, one saying 'terrible', another saying 'great' with 'lie' in brackets, but that would have been too little controlled, and the game made it pretty clear that the player decided everything. As I stalled, Rainbow waited, hinged on my coming words. "...interesting." I managed, finally, knowing it was a total cop-out. Fuck it, I could add a little more. "Has that ever worked before?"

Ooh, the affection meter just went red. Bad call. "I-I mean, a stallion said it to me one time and I thought it was pretty sweet..." Rainbow shrugged her withers, looking around the cafe with an awkward half-smile. "N-nah, you're right. It was pretty lame."

Fuck. A couple of sentences in and I've already managed to upset her, even if it was a tiny bit. Good thing I'd built up a bit of a rapport with her first, I probably had plenty of affection to burn. "Hey, don't worry, mine was bad too. Hard to think of suave one-liners when you've got a beautiful mare sitting across the table from you."

Green again! Hell, I was ping-ponging responses like crazy here. Poor Rainbow probably didn't know what the heck to think. Not that I was faring much better. "Heh, stop it!" She went to bat at me with the menu again, this time tapping my hoof. "Now come on, are we gonna order, or are we just gonna sit here and starve all day long?"

I rubbed one hoof with the other, trying not to marvel at how realistic the sensation seemed. "I mean, if you're gonna keep abusing me like that, I think we just might."

No red this time. She actually doesn't mind a bit of sarcasm. Knowing that at least helped me to worry a little less about walking on eggshells. "Well, if you want to starve as a sign of protest, go right ahead. I'm getting a... basil, tomato, and cauliflower cheese sandwich. You?"

"Mmh..." I tried to open the menu with hooves and found that once again I was more dexterous with them than I expected. I didn't really have to worry about adjusting to this body at all. "Egg and cress for me. Want me to flag down a waiter?"

"Like there's any need," Rainbow scoffed, before cupping a pair of hooves over her muzzle and shouting at a nearby stallion in a less than dignified manner. "Yo! Waiter! Over here!"

The poor colt almost dropped the half-empty plates he had balanced on his back as he turned to the source of raspy noise. "J-just one moment, miss!" The way he scurried and rushed was almost painful to watch, but Rainbow scarcely seemed to notice. Probably because she was spending most of her time looking straight at me.

...had I done something right?

The colt was back before I could ponder it, jotting down our orders as we made them and apologising more than once for taking even seconds to serve us. I couldn't help but wonder if it was something to do with Rainbow's emerging celebrity status, but I didn't push asking.

Lunch was a quick affair, by which I mean that Rainbow has no manners and totally scoffed hers. She didn't even try to put on a show of being ladylike as she ate. I kinda liked that. But to me, the most interesting thing about the whole affair—well, apart from the pony sat in front of me—was the taste of the food. It was honestly as good as any restaurant quality lunch I'd had at home, maybe better in some respects. Furthermore, it was really filling me up! I was somewhat shocked by how realistic all of this felt, the technology behind this game was surely a step beyond anything I'd experienced up until now.

And to think that I was only here to line my pockets...

It could wait. I was having too good of a time right now, and maybe I deserved a vacation.

Rainbow was rubbing at her belly with a hoof, looking as if she was attempting to fight off a belch. Honestly, with how she ate, it was a wonder she was so slim, but I supposed that's what such a heavy exercise regime did to a pony. Not only that, but splayed out in the chair opposite me like that, wings drooped... she looked so damn cute. Like something out of a lewd comic, but more lifelike. Not that I could see anything 'm-rated', that is to say... she had her tail covering her best assets, resting over her thigh.

I tried to stop myself from staring, but I noticed that the more that I did, the more she noticed I did... and it was still pulling that affection bar up. Rainbow really enjoyed being checked out, huh?

I essentially forced my eyes away when I started to feel my wings stiffening. I had no clue if that was a precursor to pegasus arousal or not, but I wasn't exactly looking for Rainbow to clock on and me to find out the hard way. Not yet, at least. "So... how was your food?"

"Eh, wasn't bad," Rainbow lied. She was almost definitely playing it cool right now, and I'd decided it was about time I cranked the tension up.

So I did what any crazy fuck looking for a swift rejection would do and scooted my chair over a little closer to her. She definitely noticed, even flinched a little, but quickly relaxed under my proximity. Even seemed glad for it. "You know, it's been a while since I've been able to just enjoy the silence with someone else," I said, gesturing towards her. "I usually feel like I have to talk and talk when I'm out doing something like this, but around you I'm a lot more chilled out. Thanks for that."

A blush. She fucking blushed! Ding ding ding, that green meter got brighter. "Heh... I know what you mean. Usually I'm spending all of my time trying to be impressive and... It's been nice being around you today. I'm glad I found you all bent out of shape 'n' stuff. Would've been a lot less fun if I hadn't had you to carry round."

"Well, maybe I can return the favour somehow? I'm already starting to feel better." Fucking suave. I was never this confident, ever. "Let me carry you home? Wouldn't mind giving my wings a stretch."

She was hanging on my words, practically begging for me to keep talking, and for a moment, I thought she'd take me up on my proposition, with the way her tail flicked and her eyes began to narrow, speaking a silent invitation... but at the last moment, she faltered, and made a show of shaking her head. "Nuh-uh, don't strain yourself, dude. I don't wanna see you put yourself out again, alright?"

I was actually shocked it hadn't worked. With my charisma buff making me sound so charming, with the rapidly developing chemistry between us and the way this 'totally not a date' was going... I think the most shocking thing was how disappointed I felt. "O-oh, yeah. I was only kidding, heheh."

Rainbow blinked. "You were? Because hey, maybe you can't carry me, but I'm totally down for you going back to my place with me after this. Could show you around, chill together for a while?" The way she phrased it like a question seemed so off-kilter to everything else she'd been saying. The confident, headstrong Rainbow Dash, sounding uncertain? Was she worried I was going to say no?

It was around here that it occurred to me that it was make or break time. Either I took her up on her proposition, prolonging the quest, or got out now. I'd probably passed already. I'd probably get the experience and reward, and going back with her might risk me screwing things up somehow.

But.

"You know, that actually sounds great. You got anything in mind for when we get back there?"

I mean, let's be honest, there was no way I was refusing an invitation like that. Come back to Rainbow's place to 'chill'? That wasn't an offer you passed up if you were in your right mind!

Rainbow bit her lip softly, raising her eyebrows a little as she began to run her tongue around her lips. Her voice came out in a nervous little squeak. "Oh, y'know... a little bit of this, a little bit of that... it'll be fun!"

I nodded pretty damn ecstatically at that. No doubt this was going to be a first afternoon to remember.

"And this is Tank!" said an overly enthusiastic Rainbow Dash as she invited me into the living room. "I thought we could play with him for an hour or two, if you're up for it!" Turning straight away from me as if I was no longer there, she began to gently stroke her tortoises' shell. "Oh, hey there, buddy! You've missed momma, haven't you?!" She had such an adorable glow about her as she doted on her pet, but...

This really wasn't what I had in mind when I heard 'chill at Rainbow's' for the first time. I turned to her with a slight grimace on my face, trying to hide my reluctance at the prospect of something as boring as playing with a damned tortoise. "Uhh, Rainbow?"

She looked up from her prized companion and apparently best friend in the whole wide world to look at me, blinking innocently once or twice. "Yeah? What is it? He's awesome, isn't he?"

"Y-yeah! Totally awesome..." I thought about how to phrase it as best I could. Didn't wanna upset her in any way. "It's just... I was kinda hoping we could spend some me and you time back here... and as completely and utterly cool as Tank is, do you think it's be like, in any way okay if we kinda... skipped out on the whole 'walking an animal slower than my disabled grandmother around the house for an hour straight' routine?"

The first thing I noticed was the fact that Rainbow Dash's affection meter turned redder than Mount Fucking Doom. The second thing was the snarl. The third was the smoke coming from her ears. "D-did you just compare Tank to a geriatric patient?"

Shit. Damage control, now. "Now, Rainbow—"

"I'll have you know that he's only forty-five, and he moves like he's still in his twenties!" She slipped from aggressive bark into soothing whisper in an instant, doting over her pet. "Don't listen to him, buddy. He's just jealous of your good looks!"

Right. Screw this. Fucking abort before it gets any worse. "I was just kidding!" I said in what I thought would be the most fake damned voice imaginable, but apparently that convenient charisma buff let me play off as an almost seamless lie. I chuckled. I patted her on the shoulder. I prayed to whatever developers might have been listening. "Of course I don't think your Tank is boring—"

"You said slow," Rainbow responded instantly, unimpressed.

"I meant slow! Slow or boring!" I insisted, patting Rainbow on the withers as I spoke, more and more, putting every ounce of bullshit I had into this, clinging to dear quest life. "Tortoises are honestly my favourite animals in the whole world, but I didn't wanna admit it to you because I thought it'd sound lame and... I was worried I would fan out too hard." I put on my most brooding face. "Like, I just got to meet one of my idols and find out they were an amazing mare today, and on top of that they've got an awesome pet? This is like a dream come true for me, honestly. Sorry if I dealt with that badly and it all came out wrong."

For a long time, Rainbow was silent. Just when I thought I might have irrevocably fucked things up... "You consider me to be an idol?"

"What pegasus doesn't at this point?"

Green. Solid fucking green like a glowstick made of happy Rainbow Dash. She made a god-damn squeeing sound. It was ridiculously cute, I wish I could've recorded it. She did a little dance, I could swear, and fumbled out all sorts of half apologies for almost overreacting. Somehow... somehow, I'd gotten away with that.

Here was hoping that an hour of playing with Tank helped me manage to crack Rainbow's shell in the end. I felt as if I was owed some pretty fucking good sex by the time this ordeal was all over.

And honestly? I was starting to wonder if I was in it for more than just the sex. Funny how your priorities can shift when you've got this much adorable pegasus in your face.